“I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future!” Donald declared as he turned from the window. “The Spirits of all Three John McCain’s shall strive within me. I say it on my knees, old McCain; on my knees!”
He had been sobbing violently in his conflict with the Spirit, and his face was wet with tears.
“The shadows of the things that would have been, may be dispelled. They will be. I know they will!”
He took off his hat and he took off his hair and he hugged them both tightly to his chest.
“I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy,” cried Donald. “I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world. Hallo here! Whoop! Hallo!”
He ran into his Tweeting room and looked all about.
“There’s the door, by which the Ghost of John McCain entered! There’s the corner where the Ghost of Christmas Present, sat! There are the tunnels wherein I saw the wandering Spirits! It’s all right, it’s all true, it all happened. Ha ha ha!”
“Donald,” the hat said, “you’re crushing me.”
“It’s because I love you, hat, dear hat!” Donald yelled. He twirled around and around until he felt ill.
“I don’t know what day of the month it is!” said Donald. “I don’t know how long I’ve been among the Spirits. I don’t know anything. I’m quite a baby. Never mind. I don’t care. I’d rather be a baby.”
Running to the window, tried to open it, and set off a security alarm. A Secret Service officer came bustling in.
“What’s to-day!” cried Donald, calling to the Secret Service agent in his best drab suit.
“EH?” returned the agent, with all his might of wonder.
“What’s today, my fine fellow?” said Scrooge.
“Today, Mr. President?” replied the agent. “Why, CHRISTMAS DAY!”
“It’s Christmas Day!” said Donald. “I haven’t missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course, they can. Of course, they can.”
“Spirits, Mr. President?” asked the confused agent.
“Do you know the McDonald’s in the next street but one, at the corner?” Donald inquired.
“Uh, yes, I guess so,” said the agent, uncertainty dancing in his eyes. He holstered his weapon and lightly fingered his 25th Amendment TASER.
“An intelligent boy!” said Donald. “A remarkable boy! Do we employ all boys as smart as him?” he asked his hat. “Do we?” he asked his hair. The agent backed up warily and did not take his eyes off of Donald.
“Do you know whether they’ve sold the 100 piece McNugget box that had as a Holiday promotion?” asked Donald.
“I’ll… I’ll go check for you, sir,” the agent said, longing to call for his supervisor.
“Go and buy it. Have it send posthaste to Pie and her family!” said Donald.
“Pie, sir?” the agent asked.
“Sarah,” the hair whispered.
“Sarah,” Donald told the agent. “My spokeswoman. Sarah, dear Sarah. Sarah, Plain and Wide.”
“I’ll get right on that, sir,” said the agent, backing out of the Residence.
“Half-a-crown for you if you are quick about it, boy!” Donald said, laughing heartily, and the agent was gone in a flash.
Donald looked at his hair and Donald looked at his hat and said to them both: “We must get ready friends, we have a busy day of legacy building to begin!”
Shaving was not an easy task, for his hand continued to shake very much; and shaving requires attention, even when you don’t dance while you are at it. But if he had cut the end of his nose off, he would have put a piece of sticking-plaster over it, and been quite satisfied.
He dressed himself in “all in his best,” and at last got out into the White House proper. The workers by this time were pouring forth, filling office even on this Christmas Day.
“The work of the President is never done,” said a gleeful Donald to his hat and his hair.
“Hullo!” he shouted to the secretaries.
“Hullo!” he shouted to the Secret Service agents.
“Hullo!” he shouted to the dogsbodies and factotum scurrying to-and-fro.
Donald hurried into The Oval Office and shut the door behind him. He had calls to make, important calls to make.
“Donald,” asked his hair. “Are you OK?”
“I have never felt better, my beloved follicles,” he said.
Donald pressed a button set into the underlip of his desk and a drawer opened, a drawer he had never opened before. Inside was a phone of deepest red, an old-style phone that could not send Tweets or Crush Candies.
“Donald…” the hat said.
“I shall not succumb to such dark future,” said Donald and he took up the phone. “Hullo!” he shouted into the receiver.
“Mr. President,” a sober young man said. “What are your orders, sir?”
“Scramble the jets, and set sail our ships,” Donald sang. “Wake all our troops, and arm them every one. Ready the drones and cruise missiles. Launch the Space Force and warm their laser cannons. The best Christmas has come, my lad. The best Christmas of all!”
“Y-y-es, sir,” the young man said.
“Assemble the Joint Chiefs!” Donald continued. ”Stiffen John Bolton’s Mustache to a heady rage! Release the Mad Dog from his pleasure cage!”
“Y-y-your orders, sir?”
“Have them all in the Situation Room with all haste! America goes to war!”
Donald hung up the phone and closed the secret drawer and spun around in his office chair with a girlish laugh of pleasure.
“Donald,” the hair said. “Mattis just put in his resignation letter.”
“Jim will stay,” said Donald. “As I keep Faith with him, he will keep Faith with me.”
“And you just had me declare on Twitter the war with ISIS won and a withdrawal of troops from Syria and a drawdown in Afganistan,” the hat said.
“Then back to Twitter, friend hat,” said Donald. “Reverse, regress and revise. Claim we were hacked; call it Facebook’s fault! Or let the egg be on Dorsey’s face–call it a blue checkmark farce!”
“Whatabout…” the hair began.
“And call Pie! Rescue her from her fat family fatal feast! She’ll have much to tell our countrymen as they wake!”
Donald was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to round Sarah, his beloved Pie, who did NOT die, he was a second father. He became as good a Warboner, as firm a hawk, and as bloodthirsty a man, as the good old district knew, or any other good old capital, stronghold, or redoubt, in the dark old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough now to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for sake of conflict and death, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. Donald’s own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.
Donald and his hat and his hair had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Warboner Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas in an America at War as well as man alive or dead or never to be born. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!
And so, as Pie observed, around a mouthful of McNuggets: God of War Bless Us, Every One!
I need brain bleach… I am so glad I was not one of these people that get all gooey around this time of year, or this story arc would have ruined it all for me.. SF, you are a gift.
A true masterpiece.
Lorne Michaels should be optioning this stuff if he wasn’t such a douchebag.
*dabs at single tear sliding down cheek
Indeed, Goodman Tres. Indeed.
I know who’s really behind this. DUN DUN DUN!
Nice close.
The breaking news was handled deftly.
”Stiffen John Bolton’s Mustache to a heady rage! Release the Mad Dog from his pleasure cage!”
Holy shit, I’m dying!
In Washington did Donald Trump
A pleasure cage decree:
Where Potomac, the foul river, ran
Through lobbyists measureless to man
Down to a plastic strewn sea.
So twice five miles of swampy ground
With concertina and mines were strewn ’round:
Where blossomed many a user fee;
And here were archives ancient as the bills
Erasing spots of liberty.
But oh! that deep fanatic chasm which slanted
Down the K Street athwart a FBI cover
A savage place! as unholy and disenchanted
As e’er beneath a regulated moon was haunted
By womyn wailing for her Kennedy lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless regulation seething,
As if this earth in fast thick belches were burping,
A mighty fountain of tax dollars was forced:
Amid whose swift Fed Rate burst
Huge fragments vaulted like a Clinton after tail
Or taxpayers beneath the IRS’ flail:
And ‘mid these pot-holed streets at once and ever
It flung up momently the putrid river.
Five miles meandering with a suburban motion
Through expensive houses and ghetto the river ran,
And sank in tumult to a tourist filled ocean:
And ‘mid this tumult Trump heard from far
Talking Head voices prophesying moar war!
The shadow of the cage of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves;
Where was heard the mingled treasure
From the lobbyists and knaves.
It was a miracle of iDevice,
A swampy pleasure-cage with caves of Bud Ice!
A damsel with an iPod
In a vision once I saw;
It was a Messican maid,
And on her iPod she played,
Singing of Guadalajara.
Could I revive within me
Her green card and song,
To such a deep delight ‘twould win me,
That government contracts long,
I would build that cage over there,
That steely cage! those streets of vice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
Weave legislation round him thrice,
And close your eyes with Sugarfree dread,
For he on tax-dollars hath fed,
And drunk the Diet Coke of Paradise.
We have got to get Swiss some more opium!
Are we talking raw juice of the poppy, or the juice after it’s been reduced with sulphuric acid?
/Callback to obscure discussion
Shelley:
Oh lovelorn ecstasy that is Mrs Miggins, wilt thou bring me one cup of the browned juices of that naughty bean we call coffee, ere I die?
Mrs Miggins:
[giggles] Oh, you’ve a way with words about you, Mr Shelley.
Byron:
To hell with his fine talking; COFFEE, WOMAN! [coughs] My consumption grows ever more acute and Coleridge’s drugs are wearing off!
Mrs Miggins:
Oh, Mr Byron, don’t be such a big girl’s blouse.
You just cast yourself as the man from Porlock.
Bravo!
Oh, well done.
But, if I thought SugarFree was starting to rub off on me,* I’d be worried. Very worried.
*in either the metaphorical or euphemistic sense
ewwww!
/teenaged girl
Awesome!
Shouldn’t it be a stately pleasure-cage in order to scan properly?
War IS the answer! Good to know.
Good story SF
I hope this is fiction, for America’s sake.
OT BREAKING NEWS: Notorious RBG had lung surgery.
I can’t wait for the unhinged hysteria over Trump’s nominee to replace her.
Please Ruth, retire and go away.
I suspect she will pull a McCain and cling to her seat until the bitter end.
Woke millennials lining up to donate lungs.
Well, you know how it is with those bitter clingers.
Thank you.
“Please Ruth, retire and go away.”
What? And go on Medicare??
I beat you to it, but the other thread is dead now. Anyway, she’s likely toast with lung cancer at her age. Trump to strike thrice.
Can’t wait for the sweet, sweet leftist tears.
ONLY BECAUSE THE SENATE WUZ GERRYMANDERED!!!!!
Own the libs!
(sorry HM 😉 )
“malignant”
and that’s that.
The vast majority of lung cancer patients survive the disease if it’s caught early, as it appears is the case with Ginsburg. According to the American Cancer Society, the five-year survival rate for stage one lung cancer is roughly 92 percent.
The issue isn’t the cancer per se. It’s having any surgery when you are a frail 85 yo.
Lung cancer 5-year survival is 6% for >79-years old for all stages. I can’t find the per-stage breakout but I imagine it’s probably not 92%.
Are you suggesting the Internet has lied to me? My word.
At 85, the prognosis is very poor. And this is her 3rd bout with cancer.
It ain’t 92% even without cancer at that age
Ha-ha. That is very true.
Shush now
You’re not 85 yet.
“This is not Ginsburg’s first encounter with cancer. She was treated for colorectal cancer in 1999 and pancreatic cancer in 2009, NPR reported. At 85 years old….”
That pattern sounds concerning to me. It’s actually hard to believe at this point that there’s not some metastasis going on. At 85 years old… my mom is 81 and 10 years ago she had breast cancer. Then there was no more. Then of all places they found a tumor in a tooth, bone cancer. Removed that, did some treatment and it was all gone. Now a couple of years later, it’s everywhere, nothing more than they can do.
I know they like to look at RBG as immortal, but she’s not, not at 85.
Ah shit, Buddy. That sucks hard.
For what it’s worth, I’ll wish her the best for a speedy recovery and a long and happy retirement.
Same here. I’m bracing for the inevitable glee from certain circles which is likely to make me ill. Cancer is one of those few things I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.
I will be glad to see her off of the court, but I didn’t wish this on her. I just hoped she would get tired of being an activist hack and retire.
It’s clear at this point, that being on the court is the only thing that sustains her. Retirement will mean death.
Well put, wdalasio.
Cheers to that!
But she could straddle the malign Putin and suck from him his toxic masculinity like a high-end Dyson. Something she’d never use, because she’s not your wilting lilly of silent domesticity, but a stony colossus striding the world of legal mumbo-jumbo. She donned the black robes when NASA denied her the seat they gave Neil Armstrong; not that she’d need that crude phallic contrivance of lesser, male minds, for she could spring lithly to caress the moon with a thumb, her gnarled, veiny legs bared beneath her billowing mantle to the world below, were she so vain as needing to prove herself. She’s the strength of arm of a thousand millennial men, the force and will driving millions of pussy-behatted women, the engine by which the Trumputinfuhrer will be driven back underground to dwell among the leeches and blind bats and MGTOWs and Sean Spicer. Worry not that Ginsburg departs our world; she merely dozes.
SugarFree has really inspired some fine writing around here. I laurfed.
AC, is that you?
Needs moar ‘wasp’s nipples lactating black poison’
Gold. Pure gold.
yep.
Dragging my comment over from the other post:
the GOP is not going to “Biden Rule” Trump.
I am reminded of communist propaganda “See how healthy comrade soandso is”
“…that crap about how fit and vigorous she is” …and how beautiful Michelle is, and what a great orator Barack is, and how innocent Hillary is…
Most Transparent Presidency Ever
according to twitter, having nodules cut out of your lungs is not invasive. obviously it’s not 1950s King George VI invasive but even if they can scope, you’re still penetrating the lungs.
Well, if done via trachial endoscope, you get smaller holes punched in the lung tissue than if going through the chest wall. I don’t know what the proper procedure is.
Either way, I still agree, I wouldn’t call it non-invasive to rip nodules from vital organs.
Bullshit its not invasive. “Invasive” has a clearly defined meaning (deriving from the need to get specific informed consent for invasive procedures).
Invasive procedures are “operative procedures in which skin or mucous membranes and connective tissue are incised, or an instrument is introduced through a natural body orifice.” Having a mole removed is invasive, for crying out loud. Damn right chopping tumors out of someone’s lungs is invasive, even if you don’t have to go in through the chest wall.
Well, we’re in a medico-legal speak versus the vulgate english argument again. The threshold for commonfolk to see invasiveness involves more than the excision of a mole would inspire. “One slice, some white petrolium and a band-aid and I was on my way” while technically invasive by medical definition is not invasive in the common tongue.
Having a scope jammed down your trachea is invasive by any definition.
Having chunks of meat sliced out of your body is also invasive by any definition.
I don’t disagree (see statement above). But you are going to get some argument from the masses regarding mole removals.
So mole removal is invasive, like the colonization of Liberia?
“Presidential primaries underway, no SCOTUS appointments”
Not the rule. The presidents party controls the Senate. Appoint away.
I wonder if anyone at all is making the case to her that the right thing to do is step down, because she can’t really do the job anymore.
How did that work out for William O. Douglas?
Is it too early for me to come out with my story about how Amy Coney Barrett sexually assaulted me in the mens room at a Notre Dame football game in 1991?
Go on . . .
Well I can’t really remember any of the details, but it definitely happened and it was definitely her. And now I can never fly in airplanes, and I have emotional breakdowns whenever someone mentions Rudy
I couldn’t find an image of the “Notre Dame sucks and Rudy blows” shirt that was ubiquitous when the Irish came into town, so this will have to do.
Yeah, it kinda looked like that
Not convincing, needs more issues with bladder control.
I like this.
Awaiting moderation, after all the uninsightful comments I have left on this site?
*storms out of room*
It had multiple links.
Oh for fuck’s sake:
Ahh… a bottle of last year’s KBS to go with lunch. Yum.
So…. you will be asleep shortly then?
I don’t know. It has coffee in it. I had some boozy coffee with breakfast so this is my second drink.
We’ll see.
It doesn’t matter as I’m off work today unless my boss contacts me about bugs like he did last night.
If you can drink KBS, more power to you.
I laughed. I barfed.
I laurfed.
You too, eh?
I got the day off. Jogged down to my favorite coffee shop. Sipping a fine brew. Listening to the Hard-ons https://youtu.be/Ujg5gkT4Frc
Reading SugarFree’s fantastic fiction and hanging out with you bums. After coffee I’l put in another 8 miles. Bone in ribeye, chopped salad, and steak fries smothered in cheddar gravy with bacon and green onion. I like having a day off. I gotta get some booze in here too.
Quiet day on a top 50 east coast course
Gales that would make Open proud
Gave up: in the bar after four holes
Fore!!!
STEVE SMITH NOT GIVE UP AFTER FOUR HOLES!
A man of truly refined taste. I was listening to this on my commute this morning:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzMdAyYNTFk
????????????
the dogsbodies and factotum scurrying to-and-fro
Making WH parasites great again. Really classes up the joint. The best.
As for RGB, I hate to hear the news about her health. I dont wish cancer on anyone….or not many people anyway.
The left is going to completely lose their shit when Trump appoints another Justice. This is going to make the Kavenaugh confirmation look like a debutante ball. It is tough for people consumed by the lust for power to lose and lose and lose…
On a personal level, there is no justification for wishing ill health on RBG.
On a professional level, she has made it clear that death is the only way to get her off the bench. So be it.
She is old. Live long enough and something is going to get you.
Me, I hope to die peacefully in my sleep.
“I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa did. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.”
That one always kills me.
Literally.
This rings especially true in light of the ample opportunity presented to her a few years ago to be replaced by someone with views sympathetic to her own. Vanity is a bitch sometimes.
Elections have consequences.
That said, I hope she at least makes it through Christmas so I won’t be subject to the wailing and caterwauling of my distraught in-laws this week.
Not sure why she didn’t let Obama appoint her replacement years ago. With Herself clearing the Dem primary field by fair means and foul three years ago, I think she hung on so that the First Woman President could appoint her replacement.
I doubt there were very many people anywhere more surprised and schocked when Herself lost to Donny Two-Scoops.
^This^
I cant think of a better real-life illustration of ‘pride comes before a fall’ than what happened to the progs in 2016.
Hillary would have had three SCOTUS picks had she won.
^I can’t get that thought out of my head
2A protections gone
It would be more than the 2nd. The bill of rights would be null and void, the whole of it. Remember her ‘all rights are subject to reasonable restrictions’ speech? She is first rate totalitarian material, but remember, Trump is the fascist.
The most consequential 1A case decided in the last decade came about because of Her Heinousness. She’s hungry for revenge.
Cancer is awful and as said above by others I wish few people ill will. I also don’t think there should be Gov employees staying in office or in positions until they die by way of runaway genetic mutation brought on by extreme old age.
OMFG
This is a masterpiece.
I’m finishing my yearly performance evaluations for my minions. It’s a great time to reflect on their perceived accomplishments and strengths vs my perceptions. The older they are the closer to reality they typically are.
I have a 25 yr old that believes he is and expert at supporting the customer because he does the job he was hired for compared to a early 60s employee who thought he was Intermediate at the same metric by doing his job as well as making sure a visiting customer had directions to the site, a list of nearby restaurants, and helped fix a transportation issue for another.
I just gave myself straight C’s and copied the same pabulum verbatim from the previous year’s self-evaluation every year. The company’s already decided my tiny raise; nothing I say is going to change that.
“The company’s already decided my tiny raise;”
You too, eh?
If I don’t score above the teeming masses, after the year I had…I never shall.
My last review at the past company I just gave myself averages across the board, and copy and pasted the same shite into every comment field. My manager tried to call me out on it, until I pointed out he told me there was no advancement opportunities, no training opportunities, no enhancement opportunities, and no bonuses. He got quiet after that.
I get to have my first review at the new job in January. It’ll be interesting, since I have almost no contact with my supervisors, I got a bonus, so I guess I’m doing things right?
Every one of my performance evals, whether its my side of my own, or the ones I do for my flunkies, is basically a cut and paste job.
My performance eval meetings are famous for their brevity: “You already know where you stand with me. Sign here, and here.”
I went five straight years here without a raise, and got the “standard merit increase” (read: 2% COLA) this year. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that I started out getting paid more than I’m worth.
I don’t nexessqeily have to eval myself, but I have a comment box where I cut and paste my weekly progress reports. If I’m feeling nice, I edit them down to remove redundancies.
Dammit, premature submission.
I was gonna say that my manager gave a similarly hasty review and told me he was satisfied with my work. That’s all I needed to hear from him. Well, that and my bonus/raise numbers.
Dammit, premature submission.
You youngsters. Haven’t had that problem in years.
I’m 32 and with the 25 year old. It’s all bullshit anyway, so why not overrate yourself?
32. Still too young to know that if you rate yourself high you get more responsibility and the same raise as everyone else.
The philosophy of performance reviews at every company I worked at has been even if you have the best team in the company you need to rate 10-15% of your people as inadequate each year. It’s such a chickenshit way to evaluate your team or company.
Are these the same people who go “Only extraordinary performances get raises” then turn around and say “No one can be given top marks because there’s always room for improvement”?
In my experience the only use for performance evals is supporting paper weights.
I once rated an employee “Can’t hit an inside fastball” two years in a row. HR never said a word.
You’re used to be the GM for the Seattle Mariners?
i don’t know exactly what my evaluation is going to look like this year. I’m hoping that it’ll be enough to get me a promotion, but I’m not counting on it. I did help the company avoid one MRA from the Fed and get another closed out. Plus I just found out I got one of the models I’ve been working on approved before year end. That should count for something, right?
That said, I know I got my underling into the Company’s Emerging Leaders Program. Hopefully, it will boost his profile.
If the model is hot, you’ll probably do OK.
I picked up what you put down.
SF is something, ain’t he?
Honestly, that may be my favorite from this installment.
BRAVO!!
Funny stuff.
I didn’t say so earlier Sugar Free, but the Hat and the Hair has been a great series. I’m curious how or why Trump starts acting and speaking like a 19th century Englishman by the third A Christmas Carol episode.
You’re one of those who likes to watch Magicians Tricks Revealed, no doubt.
I’m the one who tries to work it out first and look for the hidden compartment, but I didn’t have the chance to re read the series yet.
Wait, you mean there are people who watch magicians for a reason other than to figure out how the optical illusion is done?
What are you talking about with this “illusions” nonsense?
I have absolutely no curiosity in regards to the how or why. I’m just imagining Donald delivering all of his lines with the prowess of a fifth grade thespian in a school play and it’s leaving me in stitches.
The fact that you haven’t been named Poet Laureate and won a Nobel Prize is more proof that David Icke was right about everything.
OT, but definitely SugarFree worthy.
https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/local/crime/article223358745.html
Gilmore’d.
“Sarah, plain and wide!” cost me nasal beer.
Erick Erickson last night:
“If we lived in a lesser country than our great nation, today is the day we really would be talking about a military coup. Soldiers down to the enlisted ranks are raising hell about the President’s Syria decision.”
Is this the most unhinged take on the Syria withdrawal?
Yes, lets give low ranking enlisted soldiers the time of day to their opinions of this. Once you can drag the 18-23 year olds away from their games of drawing the largest dick in the most conspicuous part of town, let’s ask. I bet it will be something like this:
“Wait, so we don’t have to go to Syria? We can go back to fucking off after PT?
…Cool.”
Is he actually claiming that soldiers are upset that they won’t get the opportunity to die in Syria?
I don’t recognize the name, but I’m going to guess they’re not from a military background or know many people who are. So they’re basing their views on a stereotype they hold of military personalities being warmongering killfreaks.
If it’s the guy I think it is (Red State), he’s an influential So-Con Never-Trumper.
I can see those who’ve just enlisted and still all hooah being upset they missed the boat. Not to worry AFG and elsewhere are still open.
Funny that. I work with Soldiers and officers every day and not one of them thought we should be in Syria or Yemen. Today this is much discussion of Mattis resigning but zero, none, nul, nope have any issue with pulling out of that shithole.
It seems that those who have spent years fighting in the Mideast & Afghanistan and must remember their fallen aren’t as yippy skippy happy about endless wars for dubious reasons.
A military coup because…not dying is a bad thing?
And then he first blames “Trumpers” for misunderstanding his coup comment while completely ignoring getting absolutely slammed for suggesting the rank and file are upset about it. He then shortly afterwards blames all the negative comments on “the internet troll farm in Moscow”.
This is the Red State guy, right?
Those pesky Russians. If they didn’t exist the TDS crowd would invent them.
Oh, wait.
Moscow troll farms aren’t organic, and thus not as artisinal as mine.
Poll:
Given the opportunity – Sarah Plain and Wide: Would?
Wood Knot
https://www.marieclaire.com/politics/news/a6667/sarah-huckabee-sanders-interview/
That’s the most flattering photo I found. Doesn’t make a strong case for a “would” and it would have to involve a time machine.
Fat girls love anal.
Depends. I’ve fucked fatter and uglier.
I have a confession to make. On Wednesdays I pull a Diet Coke from the office fridge, and down it while I am reading H & H.
This week has been an aspartame fueled assault on my GI Tract. That is all.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE ASSAULT GI TRACT . . . .
People burning their draft cards?
Hitler during the Battle of the Bulge?
Krusty O’s?
Cobra Commander?
Chipotle ?
Tapeworms?
Does mozzarella just not melt like cheddar? Never had this issue with cheddar soup…
Mozzarella definitely does not melt like cheddar.
Got all stringy? Mozzarella? Whoda thunk it?
A bit of added citric acid next time might help, but mozzarella doesn’t belong in soup.
OT:
AOC book titles (not titties)
Very good 9.5/10
Ohio Prisons! Come for the cage-rape, but stay for the exploitative labor !
TW: too local
You Southern Ohio people are too soft and really need to ramp up the corruption if you want to compare with the North Coast.
But don’t worry, the County and the city of Cleveland are working together to fix this prison issue. And they’re both run by Democrats, so it’ll be perfect!
Oh, I think I read in the paper not too long ago that the Montgomery County Sheriff has like 10 pending wrongful-death suits from failing to keep inmates alive.
However, I will concur that politicians here are generally too stupid to properly corrupt. They always get caught.
But we’ve never had anything as epic as Jerry Springer happen up here.
Well…Trafficant was certainly entertaining.
+1 beam up
Yeah, but he was out in Trumbull county, closer to Youngstown then Cleveland. When I did some consulting work out there, one of the locals told me how Trafficant would arrange leniency for people who were arrested if they would do volunteer work on his property. You know, just standard level corruption.
She’s held together by chewing gum at this point.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/12/21/supreme-court-justice-ruth-bader-ginsburg-85-reportedly-undergoes-lung-procedure-.html
Ol’ Witchy Poo ain’t goin’ nowhere’s until the Dems run the Senate.
My brother used to write SF type stories and his buddy drew a cartoon of him, furiously pleasuring himself at the story board. It’s all good.
The 2016 election keeps on giving.
I was looking for a snotty ecard to send to an acquaintance and found this beauty.
I so wish I had Hilary’s personal email just to send this directly to her.
Dark, man.
As in, the whole screen is literally dark, with a single pixel lit in the middle.
Are you sure you aren’t looking at it from really really far away?
Cosmic, Man….
Link worked for me, but maybe this link works better?
Oh, my. The 19K shares leads me to suspect this was created shortly after the primary. I hope the person that made it is still in good health and not dangling from a lamp cord in a closet somewhere.
The site loads, kinda, but doesn’t show me any images. Ima say its a firewall thing.
It is an ecard that says:
Dark Man is under rated.
That’s a good one, thanks for the laugh.