About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

286 Comments

  1. The Hyperbole

    Nice detail in having the lettering on the glass door panel backward but shouldn’t it be in Vietnamese?

  2. Lackadaisical

    Sorry to go OT immediately…

    Just got a letter with a ‘correction’ to the 1099-misc we’d previously received with several thousand more dollars on it… but! they didn’t check the correction box, and I already filed.

    What do?

    • Ted S.

      Can’t you file an amended return?

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I am not an expert but have filed my own returns for decades.

      They don’t require a copy of the 1099 with your tax return but the IRS will get their own copy. My recommendation would be to file a 1040-X with the new info.

      Good luck!

      (Filed my taxes today, still in a white-hot rage)

      • Lackadaisical

        Yup, I think you’re right. 1040x and 201x. Part of the problem is I haven’t gotten my refund yet, so they haven’t even seen my (paper) return yet… Going to figure it all out, send the company that sent me a corrected 1099 (without the box checked!) a nasty letter…

  3. Hyperion

    Big Mac or we walk, Rocket Man. LOL!

    • MikeS

      That was maybe my favorite line, too. That and every time Kim talked. Very good stuff.

  4. Sean

    Good stuff CPRM!
    ?

  5. Creosote Achilles

    Excellent, right down to the pit stains under Donnie 2-Scoops’ left arm.

  6. Sean

    Speaking of cartoons… http://www.itsaturday.com

    A treasure trove of beloved Saturday morning cartoons (and more).

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nice link, I’ll see y’all in a couple of months.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I got excited to see Tex Avery… until I clicked and saw it was shitty remakes.

      At least there’s Beavis and Butthead.

      • Sean

        They have Looney Tunes back to the 40s. Doesn’t that cover you?

        Seriously, that is a wide range of really good stuff.

    • Spudalicious

      Noyce. Even has The Thunderbirds.

    • whiz

      “There’s no need to fear, Underdog is here!”

      But Jonny Quest is in another language 🙁

  7. commodious spittoon

    Banner H&H episodes today.

    • commodious spittoon

      Oof. That’s unpleasant.

    • Rhywun

      ?

    • Spudalicious

      I would have chased that guy down and beat him to death with the ruined corn dog.

      • Jarflax

        Corn dogs are one carnival food I just don’t get. Hot dogs are nasty, they are the american cheese of the sausage world, breading one with that coating doesn’t improve it.

      • Spudalicious

        SHUT YOUR DIRTY WHORE MOUTH!!!

        *cuddles pronto pup*

      • Gustave Lytton

        Mmmm… fresh Pronto Pup. Are there any retail locations left or just pop up county fair places now?

      • Old Man With Candy

        I’ve had the Morningstar Farms corn dogs. I know that horrifies you, but I greatly enjoyed them.

        /off to have a Beyond Sausage Hot Italian topped with caramelized onions and sweet peppers.

      • Spudalicious

        It’s like you have no idea that growing up chained to a toilet isn’t normal.

      • Jarflax

        It may be an unpleasant childhood, but he makes them grow up fast, so at least it is short.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I liked Gardenburger patties before they got sold off and changed their recipe.

      • Naptown Bill

        There are two kinds of people in this world, cabrón. Those who enjoy savory kosher franks coated in a sweet cornbread batter, deep-fried until golden and crispy, on a stick for your convenience, and those who will be left behind when the rapture happens to feast instead on the rotting flesh of the damned until they finally succumb to the void.

      • Spudalicious

        ^^This guy gets it^^

      • Jarflax

        savory bland kosher pig’s anus franks coated in a sweet cornbread batter rancid mess of decade old corn meal mixed with pond water and left over cotton candy sugar, deep-fried in oil inherited from the fryer at the St Louis World’s Fair until golden scorched and crispy soggy, on a stick previously used by the carnies to gig frogs for your convenience

        I made some corrections

      • Spudalicious

        Pure hate. That’s all I’m getting from you, pure hate. Corndogophobic. No doubt you hate children and puppies too.

      • MikeS

        I bet they both taste better than corndogs.

      • Count Potato

        Well, at least it’s settled that you fuck goats.

      • The Hyperbole

        Hot Dogs while often nasty are not by definition so. If you get a quality hot dog with grilled onion and mustard and coney sauce, it can be delicious. You are correct about corn dogs however as they invariably use the wurst quality of hot dogs available.

      • Spudalicious

        SRF makes a Waygu hot dog. I can eat one.

      • Rhywun

        I couldn’t agree more. One of the pleasures of moving out on my own was never having to eat a fucking hot dog again.

      • Jarflax

        In a world with quality charcuterie the opportunity cost of eating hot dogs is too high.

      • Rhywun

        Yum! WTF is lectin?!

      • Jarflax

        I dunno I just picked the prettiest picture from Google.

      • Count Potato

        “Lectins are ubiquitous in nature and many foods contain the proteins. Because some lectins can be harmful if poorly cooked or consumed in great quantities, “lectin-free” fad diets have been proposed, most based on the writing of Steven Gundry. A typical lectin-free diet excludes a range of foods, including most grains, pulses and legumes, as well as eggs, seafood and many staple fruits and vegetables. These foods do not contain harmful levels of lectins when properly cooked, and there is no health benefit to following these diets for most people. A strict lectin-free diet is unbalanced and dangerously low in many nutrients, requiring significant dietary supplementation to maintain health”

      • slumbrew

        A typical lectin-free diet excludes a range of foods, including … eggs, seafood …

        Nope, hard pass.

      • Count Potato

        I like turkey hot dogs.

      • Rhywun

        I like white hots – I think they’re beef? – which were popular where I grew up.

        But red hots? ?

      • Jarflax

        If it has a casing and is made from identifiable meat and cured with smoke it isn’t a hot dog. Hot dogs are the skinless, pig or cow anus things Americans boil and hand to kids because they resent them.

      • Mojeaux

        because they resent them

        Guilty.

    • Plinker762

      Oh the humanity!!

  8. Pan Zagloba

    Art of the Deal in under three minutes. Sublime!

  9. Tundra

    I figured it was McDonalds that kinked the peace process.

    The fries aren’t that good.

    • Q Continuum

      Here’s Tundra just tryin’ to stir shit up.

      • Rhywun

        We’ve had Fry Wars a couple times already. Hopefully this won’t precipitate another one.

      • Tundra

        It’s slow night.

        All I can do is hold on hope.

      • juris imprudent

        You want a food fight tonight?

      • Spudalicious

        You need to delete yourself. Frozen french fries, bagged shredded cheese and a resulting plate full of fail. The only thing to finish it off completely would be pineapple.

      • Jarflax

        Deep dish with mayo and cooked in the microwave.

      • Spudalicious

        I can’t even.

      • Spudalicious

        Once McDonald’s stopped using lard for fries, it was all downhill. Shit, they even bake apple pies now.

      • Naptown Bill

        Burger King was the last hold out to use oil with trans fats. Those damned things were delicious. Then they came out with their “healthy” menu, which included baked fries. THEN THOSE BECAME THE ONLY FRIES. I haven’t had decent fries since I’ve made them myself.

      • Sean

        The old style were heavenly.

      • Spudalicious

        OMG, the fried apple pie with the crunchy crust and the filling that burned your tongue. The flavor memories of childhood.

      • Old Man With Candy

        They still use a beef extract for flavoring.

      • Spudalicious

        Not even close to the same.

      • Brochettaward

        Don’t try and deflect from the fact that YOU PEOPLE clearly fucked the rest of us over. And in this instance when I say YOU PEOPLE, I don’t even mean (((you people))).

        Mother fucking vegans.

      • Count Potato

        I think it was beef fat, not lard.

      • Spudalicious

        Whoops! I stand corrected. It was beef fat.

      • MikeS

        That’s like pointing out the “good” side of heaven and the “bad” side of heaven.

    • ruodberht

      BK fries declined at such a higher rate that one hardly notices.

      Seriously, what HAPPENED?

      • commodious spittoon

        Going off beef tallow in favor of vegetable oil, maybe? I dunno, but I heard that’s why.

      • Rhywun

        Naptown suggests “baked”. That does make sense. I make my own sometimes using canola and they’re delicious. Beef tallow not required.

      • Naptown Bill

        Ok, so I can’t get a baked fry right to save my life. What’s the trick?

      • Rhywun

        When I say mine are delicious, I’m frying them.

      • Naptown Bill

        Good, so it’s not just me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Air fryer?

      • Rhywun

        Nah, just used a regular pot.

      • Rhywun

        PS. hier is the recipe. I skipped the soaking – still delicious.

      • Naptown Bill

        I keep hearing about the soak to get rid of the starch. I’ve also heard the trick is to soak them in sugar water.

        So, I have a recipe for potatoes that involves peeling and boiling them whole, letting them cool, then sautéing them in oil and butter. I wonder if that would translate to fries. The trick would be cutting them thick enough to survive the process without breaking, but the circle version comes out pretty good.

      • Rhywun

        I par-boil (or nuke) my (diced) fried potatoes. Not to “get rid of the starch”, but to get ’em soft in the middle and crunchy on the outside.

      • The Hyperbole

        I have a recipe for potatoes that involves peeling and boiling them whole, letting them cool, then sautéing them in oil and butter. I wonder if that would translate to fries.

        I believe you just invented home fries.

      • DenverJ

        Blanching potatoes makes them crispier. I do it for hashbrowns, too.

      • CPRM

        A steak fry coated in oil cooked for 15 minutes, flipped and cooked about 15 more can turn out ok in the oven.

      • Count Potato

        Try heavily seasoning them with salt and pepper, then oven roasting them in half olive and half corn oil at 400°F. Don’t overcrowd the pan.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, there’s a reason Ore-Idas are covered in oil. You’re basically frying them in the oven.

      • ruodberht

        Wikipedia says 1997 was the year.

        1997! BK fries have been inedible garbage for that long! I could swear it was yesterday…

      • commodious spittoon

        I like BK fries, but I like McD’s fries, too. There’s definitely a different consistency, and I appreciate both for what they are.

        Come to think of it I eat a lot of this shit hungover as fuck. Hangover is the perfect seasoning.

      • juris imprudent

        Hangover is the perfect seasoning.

        Which explains menudo.

      • MikeS

        Ugh. Those kids sound even worse hungover.

      • CPRM

        They changed them as a tie-in with Toy Story (or that was their gimmick anyway)

      • Naptown Bill

        DUDE! Seriously, it’s because they switched frying oil and changed the cut and the recipe. It’s terrible, because their old fries were awesome. I suspect part of the deal is that they cook the fries at a lower temp to avoid generating trans fats, and I also assume they’re using less salt on the fries beforehand, which is making them damper when they hit the fryer. Also, they’re thicker, so they’re taking longer to hit the right temperature.

    • slumbrew

      I mostly don’t like fries – if I’m served them, they’re usually untouched. Steak fries are pretty good, but nothing I’d go out of my way for.

      Yes, yes, history’s greatest monster, etc. etc.

    • Tres Cool

      Onion rings favor the bold.

      • Tundra

        Tres gets it.

      • Sean

        Even as a keto identifying person…I’ll eat a good onion ring or two. Or a blooming onion (if I had to).

      • Tres Cool

        During the past 6+ months, Ive been craving them.

        However, I saw my doc Monday. My glucose was 91, down from an all time high of +200. My total cholesterol was 171 and my triglycerides were (for the 1st time in my adult life) at a “normal range” of 109.
        And thats while drinking shitty light beer each night, and eating 2,000+ calories daily of nothing but fat & grease.

        (YMMV….consult a doc)

      • Sean

        *whispers* “switch to bourbon.”

        Good for you! ?

  10. MikeS

    On days when there is H&H prose followed by H&H live action, I am reminded that there is a god and he loves us all…and that my super biggly monthly Patreon graft is paying dividends.

    • Jarflax

      Can someone tell me how to short North Dakota? Mike just called God either SF or CPRM and that lightning strike is going to wipe out the State.

      • MikeS

        It’s a pretty big state…hopefully it hits out west. Or, maybe hits SoDak. I mean, everyone else gets the two mixed up…

      • MikeS

        That’s what she said!

      • Jarflax

        I could climb up, at least to the platform, but I am not sure once I got there and looked down if I would be able to climb down.

      • Spudalicious

        If I trust my harness, I’m okay. My problem is heights with no backup. I loved rappelling but hated getting on roofs to cut holes.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m fine so long as the thing I’m climbing isn’t swaying too much. I trust my grip but I have an admittedly irrational fear that the structure is going to collapse under me, even though I know they were designed to have some give.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I started crying at 20 seconds

      • slumbrew

        The soles of my feet instantly started sweating. I had to turn it off after less than a minute.

      • SandMan

        Hold my beer!

      • Tundra

        Nah, I’m not scared of spiders.

        *clicks*

        *faints*

      • Tres Cool

        This is where I work.
        Not a fan of what he’s doing, but I get it.

      • hayeksplosives

        Help Wanted.

        Job requirement: skill with electronic equipment, good physical condition, and a total lack of instinct for self preservation.

      • Count Potato

        How about 2 out of 3?

      • Rhywun

        I guess 0 out of 3 is out.

      • MikeS

        How could i? I live about 30 minutes away. It’s pretty crazy. And it’s history is just weird…and a great example of government waste.

      • Jarflax

        To be fair from the edge of lake country Minnesoda till you hit the mountains in Montana, it all pretty much looks the same.

      • MikeS

        To be accurate, that isn’t fair.

      • Jarflax

        Ok, Ok, You NoDaks have fewer teeth! Are you happy now?

      • MikeS

        Well, I mean, c’mon. In the east the flat land is covered in sugar beets and potatoes. As you go west the flat land changes to wheat, barley, and canola. Huge difference!

      • Jarflax

        Don’t pull that canola crap! Rape is rape! Just ask Todd Akin.

      • MikeS

        True story; local newspaper back in the day had an article headline:

        “Runaway Girl Found In Rape Field”

      • Spudalicious

        I love Rape. Especially when saute’d in olive oil and garlic.

      • MikeS

        Achtshually, as proud ‘Muricans, we should refuse to call it Canola. It’s a portmanteau(?) for Canadian Oil (ola = oleum = oil)

    • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

      H&H live action

      ::sits MikeS down for the Talk::

      “See, when an ‘animator’ and a ‘computer’ get together…..”

      • MikeS

        Wait, are you saying it is some sort of CGI magic?!?!

        *shakes fist*

  11. Brochettaward

    I was going to FACT CHECK your Donald’s preference for Big Macs, as I believed he only ordered a highly customized and specific quarter pounder. But apparently he does personally settle for other options on occasion.

    During my research, I also stumbled upon this:

    Donald Trump also likes fast food chains for a surprising reason: their cleanliness. As The New York Times explains, the president “loves fast food because of its consistency and the promise, at least, of a basic level of hygiene.”

    Trump once told CNN’s Anderson Cooper, “One bad hamburger, you can destroy McDonald’s. One bad hamburger, you take Wendy’s and all these other places and they’re out of business.” He added, “I’m a very clean person. I like cleanliness, and I think you’re better off going there than maybe someplace that you have no idea where the food’s coming from. It’s a certain standard.”

    • Rhywun

      He’s not wrong.

    • Spudalicious

      He is a germaphobe. My guess is that’s why he wants his steak well done too.

      But wouldn’t that level of germaphobia ruin a good portion of the fornication with all the hotties?

      • Jarflax

        A touch of discomfort/nervousness adds to the thrill?

      • MikeS

        Piss is actually naturally sterilized.

      • Spudalicious

        Even coming from hookers?

      • Brochettaward

        FACT CHECK: STD’s can’t be transmitted through urine.

      • Spudalicious

        Then I guess we now know how Mike got the Gone O’ Rhea.

      • MikeS

        STD’s can’t be transmitted through urine.

        Check. Mate.

      • Spudalicious

        So then you got the Gone O’ Rhea the normal way?

      • MikeS

        Well DUH! How did you get it?

      • Spudalicious

        Nice try, dude. You got pwned.

      • commodious spittoon

        FAKE NEWS. Urine, urout, no problems. Urea need to sort your facts out.

      • Count Potato

        “STD’s can’t be transmitted through urine.”

        Are you sure?

      • Count Potato

        Woops, I read “can’t” as “can”.

      • Q Continuum

        He makes them take a steam shower before and after.

      • Spudalicious

        And brush their teeth.

      • Brochettaward

        According to Stormy, there wasn’t much fornicating going on with him. He really just wanted to sit, talk, and watch Shark Week with her. Which is kind of gay and where they really should have attacked him.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        “Shark Week”…”attacked him”

        What you did there etc, etc.

      • Sean

        I’m a mild germaphobe. I want my steak around medium rare.

        I like good steak. And if you put ketchup near it, I’ll cut you.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      One bad hamburger? They’re all bad (except for Wendy’s and Krystals stuff, they’re OK).

      • commodious spittoon

        McD’s is serviceable. I like their chicken sandwiches. For what you’re getting at the price you’re getting it, it’s a wholly tolerable sandwich.

        BK, on the other hand… tolerable, but only just. Cafeteria food.

      • Rhywun

        Frankly, I think they’re way too expensive for what you’re getting. I’d rather spend a buck or two more at some “fast casual” joint and get way better food.

      • prolefeed

        Mickey D burgers are crap. For about the same money, you can get an In-N-Out burger. Not the best burger ever, but the best * burger in a sizeable price point niche.

        Yes, yes, P. Terrys and Whataburger and whatnot have their fans. Just my opinion.

      • Chipwooder

        You can get In N Out….if you live on the West Coast.

      • Rhywun

        I think every region has something comparable. Like Five Guys in the NE.

      • Chipwooder

        I’m not a huge fan of Five Guys. Burgers are OK but overpriced and their fries are worse than In N Outs.

        I do miss Whataburger from the Gulf Coast.

      • CPRM

        Five Guys isn’t at the same price point as McDonalds.

        Five Guys: Hamburger (burger only) $6.99
        McDonald’s: Big Mac – Meal $5.99

      • Rhywun

        Five Guys is just an example, there are others – take your pick.

        And yes of course, they’re more expensive. You get what you pay for.

        McD’s and the like are barely more expensive than they were three decades ago. There’s a reason for that.

      • CPRM

        I was just pointing out, those few dollars can mean a lot those of us that ain’t got much. For me, McDonald’s/BK/Arby’s/DQ is a treat. The next tear up like 5 Guys is an
        extravagance. Anything above that is fancy dining.

      • Rhywun

        Where I am a Big Mac meal is almost 10 bucks. Five Guys, around 12.

      • DenverJ

        There’s a place across the crick called Fat Burger. OH MAH GAWD!!!

      • CPRM

        Fat Burger is Da Bomb! I met Ton Loc at the one in Vegas.

      • CPRM

        Huh, did not remember the transphobic verse, surely this is subversive material now.

      • CPRM

        I remember, moving from the ‘fat midwest’ during the early 2000s backlash against fast food (crystalized in that dumb ass documentary Super-Size me) that Super-Size here was just large, I moved to Vegas and it actually was another size! And getting that way was about $10. I was flabbergasted, how the hell can people eat this much?! But yet that phenomenon that didn’t exist here was blamed for us being fat. More Fake News!…I forgot my point, oh yeah, MOVE!

      • Rhywun

        I have to order the “Little” burger at Five Guys because the regular is two patties – which is one patty more than I can eat.

      • CPRM

        The Gilbert Burger was a thing here at Wisconsin Burger Kings.

      • CPRM

        That picture is not the Gilbert Burger, this is the pic in the article is one of those Man VS Food type things a bar in Green Bay Sells.

    • Tundra

      How do we see who is in. I want to know who I’m gonna crush.

      • MikeS

        You’re gonna be crushing Vicodin into your bourbon after I embarrass you.

      • Tundra

        Dude. I’m not sure if I’ve ever watched a whole basketball game in my life. If you don’t crush me you should really rethink your love of such a silly game.

      • MikeS

        I’m not sure if I’ve ever watched a whole basketball game in my life.

        Then it’s an even playing field. But I will still crush you.

      • Count Potato

        Well, that makes sense when your only two black guys are Prince and Kirby Puckett, and only one of them played basketball.

      • Brochettaward

        You’re gonna be crushing Vicodin into your bourbon after I embarrass you.

        I for one don’t need an excuse to enjoy a good vicodin-infused bourbon.

      • Spudalicious

        isn’t that known as “cocktail hour”?

      • Rhywun

        lolclassic

      • slumbrew

        He’s still at my alma mater; I’ve met people who know him and he is as pleasantly bizarre as you’d hope.

      • Rhywun

        I assume that’s a shell?

      • slumbrew

        Yep, basically a Lisp shell.

      • Rhywun

        Interesting. I like Lispy languages. I wonder if it’s still around.

      • Rhywun

        I’ve been using fishshell for awhile – it’s tits.

      • slumbrew

        I’ve been happy enough w/ zsh for years; any scripts are basic Bourne or, maybe, Bash syntax. If it’s going to be bigger than 30 lines or so, I’m switching to something like Python anyway.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I don’t write shell scripts. I just like the usability of fish. Agree about using Python Ruby for anything significant.

      • slumbrew

        I love Ruby – I maintain a large-ish Rails app – but I’m on a lonely Ruby island at work, so I’ve been moving over to Python and, now, Go.

      • Rhywun

        It’s crazy to me how popular Python is now – like, out of nowhere.

        It has its… quirks.

      • MikeS

        OT:

        it’s tits.

        Thank you. That is a phrase that needs a comeback.

      • Rhywun

        80s forever! ??

      • slumbrew

        It’s crazy to me how popular Python is now – like, out of nowhere.

        It feels like it hit some sort of inflection point within the last few years. May be the Google influence (they’re big on Python there).

        I’ve never quite been happy with significant whitespace but, with a modern text editor, it’s not the end of the world.

      • Rhywun

        Heh that’s one of the major things I like about Python.

      • CPRM

        It’s crazy to me how popular Python is now – like, out of nowhere.

        And their ad campaign isn’t even as good as Anaconda.

      • slumbrew

        And their ad campaign isn’t even as good as Anaconda.

        It was named after a different sort of Python

      • Count Potato

        Anaconda is a package with Python, Jupyter Notebook, and a bunch of data analysis stuff.

        https://www.anaconda.com/

        Anyway, Python is becoming popular due to data analysis and network security.

        I still use bash.

      • CPRM

        Huh. Maybe I should have gone with a video link instead of the image.

      • slumbrew

        Anyway, Python is becoming popular due to data analysis and network security.

        I think you’re reversing cause and effect – there’s nothing about Python that makes it particularly appropriate for those two things; there are a bunch of data analysis and network security tools written in Python because… there are more things written in Python these days.

        I’ll wager that many of those will move to Go in the next few years – the performance improvement can be significant and will make a difference for things like data analysis.

      • Brochettaward

        I get this guy.

      • slumbrew

        Re-reading that for the Nth time, I think that the Sig reference would 100% get him a visit from the police these days.

      • Tundra

        Disregard. Found it.

      • Jarflax

        No this is the tournament with the FINAL four not the FROZEN four

      • Tundra

        Lol.

    • MikeS

      I didn’t notice until just now; there’s a “logo” in the middle center “Don’t Bet On It” with the NCAA™ logo next to it. Is the NCAA really spending our tax money on some sort of anti-gambling campaign? In (current year)?

      • Don Escaped Texas
    • LJW

      For a brief moment I was doxxed. Panicking when I couldn’t find the option to change my name. Finally found it. I can only imagine who is googling me right now.

      • LJW

        Ahh who am I kidding admins already have my name. They’ve probably been plotting the last few years to frame me when the whole Glib thing collapses.

      • slumbrew

        *reminds self to check if monthly protection money donation to Glibs has been made*

      • Sean

        Just send Swiss some raclette and he’ll fix everything. Much cheaper. ?

      • slumbrew

        Whoops, missed February. Double donation coming right up.

      • Jarflax

        You all are making me happier about using a handle that a toddler could link to me.

      • LJW

        Not bragging but I’m probably the only person in the world with my first and last name. So if it leaks it’s gonna be easy to find me.

      • slumbrew

        Same. My e-mail is @.com, which is not at hard to link to me.

      • Rhywun

        There are six of me. And it’s just proper Englishman names.

      • slumbrew

        *sigh*

        That was <myfirstname>@<mylastname>.com

      • Jarflax

        There are supposedly 33 of me in the US, which I doubt (I suspect it is doing something statistical rather than actual count), but since I have also told y’all where I live, and I know I am the only one by that name here…

      • Rhywun

        (cont’d) Admittedly, my last name is a little uncommon. I was watching Euroball the other day and for the first time in my life there was someone who shared my last name, a player in the English league.

      • Spudalicious

        I Google my name and the one person that doesn’t come up is…me. I am very okay with that.

    • Chipwooder

      Maestro Bob Cobb is in!

    • Spudalicious

      I like.

    • MikeS

      So…the house across the street shines very bright lights at his place at night? Am I understanding that correctly? And he called the cops 2 days ago but no update since?

      • LJW

        Looks like he’s lost his mind. He was tweeting about CTE a few days back.

  12. Don Escaped Texas

    not bitching, just curious:

    a/ how do the hyperlinks here decide whether to be red or blue font?

    2) does everyone else have two rows of alt-text commands above a posting window of which only the top row works correctly?

    iii> Does anyone else see timestamps? I get this: on Invalid Date [+]

    I’m enjoying the new interface.

    • Rhywun

      I’m getting weird formatting issues with this and the previous thread. But no, I see normal timestamps.

    • Jarflax

      You have both monocle and eyepiece running I suspect. Eyepiece uses red. I prefer monocle, just because the adding in new comments without refreshing screws up my method of keeping tack of what I have seen.

      • Rhywun

        Eyepiece has an option to turn that off now.

        I suspect embedded video content breaks some things – I get that a lot. (But that doesn’t explain what I’m seeing in the previous thread).

    • The Hyperbole

      Red means youtube blue is any other link, the double posting may be because you have monocle and eyepiece loaded, maybe not, probably depends on the platform, I use chrome and have to disable eyepiece or it fucks up my bold/italic/link thing.

      • MikeS

        Dude, you should hear my newest UPS story.

        Well, OK, not to exciting, same as the last story but even a tish worse. Even with a new driver. Fucking. Hate. UPS.

    • CPRM

      That seems to be often how these ‘conversations’ go. BUT MAH EMOTIONS!

    • Brochettaward

      I wonder how many cases of stand your ground cases there are in Arkansas period, let alone that were white on black shootings. I mean, they tried to paint the Trayvon Martin case as being about stand your ground when it had nothing to do with it.

    • slumbrew

      As ever, “don’t read the comments” applies.

  13. Trigger Hippie

    Bravo! Well worth the wait, easily in my top three.

    *tosses garlands*

    • CPRM

      *Takes a bow* Jots down Trigger Hippie is fine with me taking forever to make an episode. Takes longer next time.

    • CPRM

      By the way, what would be your top three? Interested in getting feedback on which things the audience likes.

  14. DenverJ

    Has anybody mentioned that the new Zealand Zealand want right wing after all? link

    • DenverJ

      Oh my god. The New Zealand shooter wasn’t right wing

      • slumbrew

        Colorado legalizes weed and look what happens to DenverJ.

      • Rhywun

        LOL

      • DenverJ

        Yeah, because I didn’t smoke pot before it was legal.

      • slumbrew

        Patient lacks ability to recognize humorous interjection; consistent with marihuana toxicity

      • Rhywun

        He was a 4chan shitposter. Nobody knows WTF his politics are.

    • CPRM

      Que digas?

      • CPRM

        Yeah, I quoted the ‘Manifesto’ on the first day in the AM links, According to it the country he says closest matches his ideal government is China.

      • slumbrew

        Nothing says “right wing” like someone who describes themselves as an “eco-fascist”.

        prog: ohmeyghaod, he said he’s a fascist, so he must be right wing!

      • CPRM

        I did respect that he seemed to be using ‘fascist’ in the correct way, and even ‘for the first time when the media calls someone a fascist they’ll be right’ (paraphrasing) but as I believe Rhy pointed out, the whole thing just seems like a copypasta of internet memes, either by a crazy man or as subterfuge.

      • slumbrew

        Agreed. “Crazy person is crazy” is about the best anyone will get from his “manifesto”.

        Otherwise it’ll be everything to everybody – people will read what they want to from it.

      • CPRM

        I’m surprised the FBI Vegas shooter didn’t have a manifesto.

      • slumbrew

        The sheer silence of the “Vegas shooter” case remains incredibly sketchy. I am not prone to conspiracies, but “FBI op gone wrong” seems to fit awfully well.

        I suppose “low-profile crazy person does something crazy” is possible, but it’d be wildly atypical – crazy murderers always (?) telegraph their crazy homicidal tendencies long before they make the news, at least in retrospect.

      • CPRM

        It’s not so much the lack of anything, but also how the media went dark on it so fast. That’s what inspired my involvement in the Harvey/Ted Nugent story (beyond the fun, and yes at some point I’ll finish that)

      • DenverJ

        Wait what? Vegas was FBI?

      • CPRM

        I mean, the media has been pushing the Trump/Russia thing for four years now, but they have the perfect attack to go after guns and the story is memory holed after a month?

      • CPRM

        Denver, I’m being entertaining, nothing I say has a basis in reality, it just seems that IF a grand conspiracy has happened in my lifetime, the Vegas shooting seems a good candidate.

      • slumbrew

        Wait what? Vegas was FBI?

        Well, no – there’s no evidence of that, AFAIK.

        I heard that thrown around early on, half-jokingly, since the FBI has ended up being involved in a number of public “terrorism” cases.

        The near total silence about the case pings my “cover up” radar, but I’m not aware of any real evidence to support that.

  15. CPRM

    Speaking of Tha Hat’s reference to Raphael, apparently this is a thing now. Makes me long for the days of Batman Vs Predator.

    • Chafed

      I missed Batman v Predator. Was it a comic or cartoon?

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        It was a fan film, if I’m remembering correctly.

        ::checks YT::

        Yep

      • Chafed

        That’s impressive for a fan film.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        It is. Over 10 years old, and seems to have aged pretty well.

        Case in point: Justice League

  16. robc

    No one won powerball tonight. I guess I will buy a ticket for Saturday.

    • CPRM

      Amnit! That’s right, I knew there was something I forgot! I just know I woulda had the winning ticket!

      • DenverJ

        Haha on the vegas thing. But it did make me do a google. Wow there’s some strange allegations out there.

    • straffinrun

      I don’t need no ticket to win the powerball.

  17. CPRM

    Wow I didn’t know Saturday Night Live was so Transphobic.

    • Chafed

      They accidentally did something kind of funny.

  18. Q Continuum

    Back in the day, you walked up hill both ways, and no one bitched and moaned about “privilege.” And if you wanted a dildo, you didn’t just go down to The Pleasure Hut or whatever. Sex stores off the highway? Are you MAD!?!?!! Back in the day, you had to go into the forest, and find a big ol’ hunk of wood. And you took that hunk of wood back to your house, and you hid that hunk of wood from your parents. And when your dad was at work, and your mom was at book club, you snuck into your dad’s woodshop and you carved that piece of wood. you started with the table saw, and rounded off the edges with the belt sander. If needed, you would have to bust out the dremel. And you carved that dildo. And it took time. You damn kids, you don’t know anything about blood sweat and tears. And once you carved that wooden penis, you needed to make sure to SAND THE SHIT OUT OF IT. No one wants a splinter in their woo-ha. Have you ever sat there, for 10 hours, sanding a wooden dildo, in your dads woodshop, that you weren’t supposed to be in, while your dad was at work, and your mom at book club? I DON’T THINK SO. And then after you sanded that wooden penis into a smooth, useable object, you had to lacquer it, and possibly apply a coat of varnish safe for insertion. Nowadays you damn kids and your purple dildos. You just go to Bob’s Crank Shaft and walk out with 14 purple dildos. And you’re talking about the privilege and the boppity and the bloopity and the beep and the boop. When I met my wife, I didn’t just go down to Tom’s Rubber Tackle Shack and walk out with one of them magic vibrato things. No sir! I cut that out and sanded it down, in my woodshop. Damn kids.

    • CPRM

      Did you remember to take your pills today? The Doctors aren’t trying to hurt you, they’re trying to help you.

    • Rhywun

      Someone do a wellness check on Q, before something “happens”?

    • CPRM

      A ‘Hey der guy, good work’ would have been much more appreciated.

    • DenverJ

      Excellent. Very good.

    • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

      Hey, I’m just impressed with the idea of a woman who’s good with tools!

      I, uh…I mean, who’s handy in the woodshop!

      ::Q whispers in Sir Digby’s ears::

      Ooohhhh…………

    • PudPaisley

      My Grandma had one made out of solid steel. Based on the engraving on the bottom, she got it in Ypsilanti, MI in 1945 while working in a tank track factory during WW2. It’s called “The Pope” because it looks like a Priest / Monk on the front, but when you turn it around the robe looks like a dick. You can tell it was painted red at one time, but my Grandma wore off most of the paint. At least that’s the story my Grandpa told me.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        My Grandma

        OK, I saw that, and still read that story…

        I think I’m gonna get some counseling soon.

      • PudPaisley

        “They don’t make em like they use to.”

        It’s a novelty that my Grandpa used to bring out that had a funny story with a good punchline when you turned it around. Then he would dryly mention the paint getting worn off. My Grandparents had an entire cabinet of dirty gag gifts, some going back to the 30’s. They were a hit among my friends.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        “They don’t make em like they use to.”

        Makes me want to tell my “She don’t sang to me no more!” joke story, but it involves knowing DFW radio history, and you kinda had to be there*.

        *no sex toys were involved

        Between your Grandpa and your friends, you had a trippy past.

      • PudPaisley

        So no Contrabulous Faptraption involved?

        Yeah, my Grandpa was a trip and the funniest person I”ve ever known. My Grandma was no slouch either when it came to jokes.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        So no Contrabulous Faptraption involved?

        Well, I was driving at the time. And, I know the avatar looks like it could be depicting something that is…vehicular in style, but, that pic is rather deceptive (ahem).

        I don’t think either of my grandfathers were/would have been humorous. One was an abusive asshole, if Mom is to be believed (and, she is), but was gone before I arrived. The other wasn’t so much stern or un-humorous–just, probably more a grandkids-are-fine-at-arm’s-reach type.

        So, funny grandparent stories are a treat. Well, depending on the visuals, you know.

  19. Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

    “I bet he was doin’ April. Hyuk hyuk hyk hyuk…”

    As always, saving the best for last.

    /kidding! It was all fantastique.

    • CPRM

      Watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Movie now as an adult, and it’s clear she wanted him, watch Secret of the Ooze, and it’s clear the done did it. *passes out*

      • Chafed

        My hero can do no wrong.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        He is an American Canadian badass.

  20. Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

    Well, “sex life”…

    /Say, that might just work

    • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

      Dammit….

      Chafed, that was supposed to be a reply to your post.

      My Post Fu is for shit lately.

  21. SugarFree

    “Ah bet he wuz doin’ April!”

    Damn, that was good.