The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 16: 12 Years to Enslave

by | Apr 10, 2019 | Hat and Hair | 148 comments

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CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

148 Comments

  1. Old Man With Candy

    Nice editing!

    • Trigger Hippie

      Agreed. He’s made leaps and bounds since the series inception. I’m awaiting the day we have CPRM and SF collaborate on an animated short usong the Donald’s own words.

      A fella can dream…

      • CPRM

        I really should learn one of those soundboard programs, then I could build a library of audio.

    • CPRM

      Thanks.

  2. kinnath

    Great work.

  3. But Enough About Me

    Third! WOOOOOO!

  4. The Hyperbole

    NIce! Angry Hair voiced USA hat, lotta multiverse/crossover type potential.

  5. Count Potato

    Has anyone seen John Titor?

    • LJW

      Last I saw of him he was on the discord channel almost a year ago, if that’s still going he might still be on there.

    • Spudalicious

      Uhhhh….

    • Lackadaisical

      Go on…

    • commodious spittoon

      The pronoun debate is getting out of hand.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Jordan Peele is really going off the hook with the new Twilight Zone isn’t he?

  6. Tulip

    I like new, angry that.

    Mythical Libertarian Woman, I was a fan of Television Without Pity, so I really enjoyed the recap.

    • CPRM

      I didn’t know if anyone was going to notice it or not. I am much pleased.

  7. Count Potato

    “Near, Far, Lori Loughlin’s When Calls the Heart Is Editing Her Out

    We’re sure Ridley Scott can lend his expertise to the Hallmark Channel for a discounted fee! After a long “creative hiatus” that spurred from Lori Loughlin’s alleged involvement in the college admissions bribery scandal, When Calls the Heart — a quaint li’l show starring Loughlin in a leading role — will be airing the season’s remaining episodes beginning May 5. (Great news for fans, as the period drama is a ratings juggernaut for the network.) As EW reports, though, the episodes have been “re-edited in such a manner that removes any appearances by Loughlin,” which required “highly creative editing” and a few reshoots with the cast. An entire episode has also been cut to better accommodate these changes, bringing the season’s total episode count down to nine.”

    https://www.vulture.com/2019/04/lori-loughlins-when-calls-the-heart-return.html

    That’s retarded.

    • LJW

      You’d think they caught her eating live babies the way they’re treating her. I think the feds will have punished her enough, no need to write her out of history.

      • Tulip

        I see what you did there.

  8. Spudalicious

    I think this was the best installment so far, technical wise and content. Bravo!

    • Rhywun

      Is it possible that AOC could flip a solid Democrat seat to the Republicans?

      No.

  9. Rhywun

    Bravo!

    PS. Was that really her?? I’ve never heard her speak.

    • CPRM

      Yep, edited the same as Trump, and you heard her speak in the one where Biden groped her as well.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t remember 🙁
        I’ll go back and check. Which one?

        But… I… she sounds 14 years old! I had no idea.

      • Rhywun

        Ah yessss I remember now. Thank you for your service!

    • Akira

      “Untraceable guns”

      zOMG! Untraceable?!!!1111

      I don’t think people are aware that you can just file the serial number off a registered gun and create an “untraceable gun”.

  10. Tundra

    Excellent!

    Although I’m reaching peak AOC tolerance. That voice makes me want to stomp puppies.

  11. Creosote Achilles

    Excellent work. I agree that the technical details are better every time. Bang up job and funny as well. “You know I’ll do it!” Also, nice call out to the SF stories.

  12. Tundra

    For those of you who think you don’t like hockey: only watch the playoffs.

    Just amazing competition. Just watched the Blue Jackets spot the Bolts 3, only to score 4 and win. So fun!

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Jets / Blues has been a pretty good game.

    • Rhywun

      Watching Islanders v Penguins. Frantic!

      • Tundra

        Ralph Macchio!

  13. commodious spittoon

    I honestly can’t tell how much of Trump’s lines are cut up and how much is Trump pretzeling whatever thought popped into his head.

    Also: d’awwww

    • CPRM

      An editor, like an offensive lineman, is doing a good job when you don’t notice they are doing their job.

    • Spudalicious

      I let that cycle four times.

    • Rhywun

      That looks painful.

    • Chafed

      That is fantastic.

  14. Chipping Pioneer

    So, the 22nd is being repealed?

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    Bella got a Kong harness today, and she likes it. Now it’s let’s go walk, all the time.

  16. Spudalicious

    Given how the Dems and the msm went instantly batshit crazy over Barr’s remarks about spying, he hit a major effin nerve. The next couple of months could be good eats.

    • Suthenboy

      They are all shitting their pants. 8 indictments coming? Comey, Strucht? Page? McCabe? Who are the other four? I doubt they will be sleeping well not knowing who.
      They could be looking at some pretty serious time. They defrauded the FISA court FFS. The last thing these shitweasels expected what to be held accountable for their crimes. I am hoping Hillary and O’bumbles too. Call me an optimist.

      • Spudalicious

        I’m not going to get my hopes too high because, Washington swamp. But I think Trump gave Barr one directive, “clean this shit up”. Regardless of how far this goes, it will still be better than it was.

      • CPRM

        8 indictments coming?

        Did you read that somewhere?

      • straffinrun

        Abuse of a secret court. Shocking!

      • Spudalicious

        One of the many reasons I didn’t vote for W in 2004. Shitweasel.

      • straffinrun

        You wanted the terrorists to win?

      • Spudalicious

        I would say they’re almost there.

    • Spudalicious

      Nicely done. I hope she’s okay.

    • The Last American Hero

      Rubin is racin

    • straffinrun

      She was doing 80 or she is 80?

      • commodious spittoon

        Yes? No? Yusef ain’t no snitch, BITCH.

        PRISON RULES, BITCH.

        *shivs straffin*

      • straffinrun

        Always knew it would end like this.

        *bleeds out down shower drain*

      • Spudalicious

        You’re in a prison shower? That’s not just blood going down the drain.

    • DEG

      Sorry, I hope she’s OK.

    • AlexinCT

      I knew them dinosaurs didn’t go extinct because of no space rock. It was SEA SMITH!

    • Spudalicious

      “If she can’t have kids, what else can she do?”

      *maniacal laughter*

    • Rhywun

      The one Japanese resident of Lower Allen Township could not be reached for comment.

      • Chafed

        It may be worth checking the vending machines.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Did…..did Chafed just crack the case? ‘Cause I’m thinking he’s correct here.

      • Chafed

        We may need Straffinrun’s expertise on this one.

  17. Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

    Well, CPRM, you done went an’ made a beauty of an episode.

    Reminds me of (one of) the Colonial Marines’ motto: Every meal a banquet; every paycheck a fortune; every H ‘n H episode a masterpiece!

    Well….the last part is true.

    Also, just to get everyone cringe-laughing: The most entitled biyatch in the world

    If it was posted anywhere earlier, sorry for the repeat.

    • CPRM

      She speaks truth to power. The $70 a month I make on Patreon is a king’s ransom, not sure how I’d live without it.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        not sure how I’d live without it.

        Well, she might have some ideas…. 🙂

      • CPRM

        I’ma go off on a rant here, this is something that always pisses me off how other things that take less talent take off online, and my well crafted efforts get nil. I mean the usual suspects are people who just record their cat getting more views than me, but then there is this trash like this tackling the same material with much lower quality getting more views in one week than all my episodes combined. Almost leads me to be anti-market, Hyek forbid.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        I’m of the opinion no one really knows us glibs–not that HnH is branded as such. Just that, who out in YT land know your work exists, how do WE do better in getting the word out (I for one, reached out to Seamus w/Freedom Toons about your HnH cartoons, but have no idea if he saw either), and do your vids even show up in a regular YT search?

        I am in agreement with you that there is something wrong here, at least existentially.

        Speaking of which, did you see my email from a couple of days ago? Just for my info.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        I should clarify–I found some way to send a message (not through YT) to Seamus letting him know that the HnH vids existed, and that I thought/hoped he would check them out, as he seemed to have the same liberty sensibilities as us.

        I have no idea what that would accomplish, other than more views. But, you never know.

      • CPRM

        I also tweeted @ Seamus, but never got a reply. And I’ve got a good twitter repertoire with Lou from We The Internet, I even got him to follow me on the twitters, but that hasn’t led to him sharing anything.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Ah, well, Twitter… I just couldn’t bring myself to sign up for that, and YT seems to have done away with messaging outside of comments.

      • CPRM

        I actually hadn’t checked my e-mail in a couple days, my part-time job tries to act like I’m a fulltime employ who will respond to every fucking e-mail when I’m off the clock, so I usually say fuck it. If you wanna talk we can.

        But as for brand growth, yeah I’m not great at knowing how to do that, I’ve hinted that to SP but haven’t gotten much help. Despite every episode being tagged with ‘trump cartoon’ if you search for that none of them show up. And I’m gaining twitter followers slowly, but since there isn’t a cross-platform way to recognize, I have no idea if any of them are non-glibs.

      • DenverJ

        Seo. The mods have my email and i hereby grant permission for you to email me if you want my opinion.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        It was more an offer for you to vent. It still stands, but, no worries/pressure (heh) if not.

      • CPRM

        Seo?

      • Rhywun

        Search engine optimization, I bet.

      • Chafed

        DenverJ speaks the truth. Good SEO has had a major impact marketing my law firm.

      • CPRM

        Search engine optimization

        Or, or, now stay with me, it’s a conspiracy! I find that much more plausible.

      • Chafed

        You win. That is utter crap.

      • Rhywun

        Seriously. I tapped out at about 30 seconds.

      • Chafed

        I think you lasted longer than I did. Kudos.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        She is rather wretched, isn’t she?

      • Chafed

        Sir Digby you are piquing my interest but I’m going to rely on your summary. No way am I watching more of that.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Ahh..she claims to have done some kind of sex work…stripping, or escorting. Maybe both. But she flat out states she can’t do a “normal job”, literally states she has no skills, and claims she’s 5 figures in school debt.

        She also says she’s “worthless”. And, she just lays into everyone for trying to ruin her life by complaining about her Instagram account. Like-tries to be threatening without making threats.

        She just expects to be financially successful by being an online personality. It’s the reason she’s even in L.A.!!

      • Rhywun

        I was talking about the gibbering Star Trek bobble-heads thingie. Terrible.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Star Trek bobble-heads thingie

        OK, I think I missed something, Rhyun.

        Or, did I???

      • Chafed

        Me too Rhywun. I replied to the wrong comment. Brooksed it as they say in the old country.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        NAP notwithstanding, the girl needs a thorough ass-kicking, or, slap to the face, or something.

        She might very well make a terrific contributor to ‘society’ at some point. But not until she gets out of her own way and stops blaming and expecting from everyone else.

      • Chafed

        I watched 33 seconds of her whining and crying. She has a long road ahead if she doesn’t get off the intertubes and talk to another human being.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        It sounds like she can’t even do that very well.

        Hell, with her apparent disdain of authority, and willing to do sex work, I’d almost say she could be a Reasonoid.

        Not a glib, though–I won’t foist that on us.

  18. DenverJ

    Well, so far, this “blizzard” is no such thing. Too bad; that last storm had so much energy. It was invigorating. This is meh.

    • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

      Someone’s expecting a ‘blizzard’ in the middle of April?

      You aren’t in Texas…

    • Rhywun

      I was hoping for more winter here in NYC but alas it’s April. Winter ended a couple weeks ago. In the blink of an eye it’ll be 90s again.

    • Gustave Lytton

      And you even have the fur coat on your avatar too.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Fine observation, Gustave!

        For all of the “hearing his posts in Bender’s voice”, I didn’t even.”

  19. CPRM

    Let’s give this thread some breathing room. Sir Digby, meh it’s something I’ve mostly worked through, but every now and then it comes back and strikes me like lightning. And the other day was one of those times. I fell in love with a girl when I was 13. I could feel whenever she walked in the room. Her mom caught on that I was crushing on her and put me on the spot, in front of this girls best friends. So young autist me knows no other way to deal with it than deny it. Small town, word gets around, and she started getting made fun of because of me, so I did what I judged the right thing and try to move attention to me and away from her. And so began years of me being the butt of the joke while she was able to live her life. I don’t know if she ever had interest in me. But it sabotaged every relationship I tried to have in HS, because all the girls knew how I felt. When I was gone to college I truly believed I’d never return home, so I wrote here a letter that I don’t know if she ever read. Then I had to move back here and still wanted to give her space, not wanting to be a stalker type. She married a teacher that treated my niece like shit. They have kids. I can still feel when she enters the room. And I just happened to run into her the other day.

    Glad you enjoyed the cartoon!

    • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

      Well, I won’t deign to give any advice, or, truisms. or anything like that. If you are doing well in that…what, facet(?), of your life, OK then.

    • Rhywun

      #believehim

      • CPRM

        *DEMS subpoena Rhy* “have you ever dated a black man?” “if so, did you ever tell anyone you were dating a POC?” *no matter which way Rhy answers* “You white nationalist Nazi piece of shit!”

    • BakedPenguin

      Weird that 2 MTV personalities (from back when I still sometimes watched the channel) are libertarian, or -ish.

      Kennedy looks better, though.

  20. Chafed

    I’m very disappointed in you Late Night Glibs. We haven’t even cracked 100 comments. Get snarking, linking, or hypothesizing.

    • CPRM

      It’s a CPRM article, low numbers expected.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Ooooohhh….self-zing

      • Trigger Hippie

        Sorry, man. Aside from a random comment or two I’ve pretty much tapped out mentally by the evening links. Add a pinch of insomnia and I’m pretty much worthless.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Hey, you bothered to even post that. Any li’l bit helps keeps things lively for us vamps…er, uh, late-nighters.

    • Gustave Lytton

      106!

    • Chafed

      You all need some direction. Rhywun, I want New York Post links preferably about another Cuomo screw up. CPRM, you’re responsible for links to obscure metal bands. Someone wake egould. We need links about living near the beach and jangly guitars. Where the hell is Slumbrew? Tell him I want Boston references stat. Unless Hayeksplosives is out in the desert making things go boom, I want an update on her Tesla repairs.

      And as for you Sir Digby, its time to come out of the shadows and let your freak flag fly! Link dammit! Link for all you’re worth!

      • CPRM

        But I do like some Grape Jelly.

      • CPRM

        No need to call in the Calvary.

      • CPRM

        You don’t need to Redefine obscure.

      • CPRM

        And I’ll leave this last one Unnamed. But, sleep is a thing I need.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Link? Hell, I’m just ripping YT mp3s right now. Haven’t ventured to far into any bowels….

        OK, let me rephrase that–I haven’t done any video sleuthing yet.

  21. CPRM

    Ok, it’s that time when I say I’m done for the night and try to go to sleep but insomnia still keeps me up, so I lurk and see what you say about me behind my back…

    • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

      OK, so you’re saying it’s OK to rag you… Got it.

      • Chafed

        Your mother smelled of elderberries.

    • Rhywun

      Cloud cuckoo land.

    • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

      Why the hell are there even any federal bills re: primary education?

      FFS, the schools should just drop sports altogether, to avoid this shit. Of course, then the (Ds) will try to create legislation requiring sports as some sort of ‘Right’/entitlement.

      • Akira

        FFS, the schools should just drop sports altogether, to avoid this shit. Of course, then the (Ds) will try to create legislation requiring sports as some sort of ‘Right’/entitlement.

        That would be interesting. Most Lefties I know are of the opinion that schools should divert money from sports programs into actual education (but not simply cut spending and lower taxes; that’s a crazy racist right-wing idea).

        I think you’re correct that they’d suddenly discover how incredibly important it is to have school athletic programs, which would of course require the government to establish some kind of policy on teenage tranny bathrooms.

        Why the hell are there even any federal bills re: primary education?

        Because most Lefties see the federal government as THE government, and states/counties/localities as pointless subdivisions that frequently make the wrong decisions and should be forced to make the correct decisions by Washington.

    • BakedPenguin

      Nadler got a serious nut-punch from Candace Owens at one of the Congressional Trump fantasy trials. He and Ted(?) Lieu, were just embarrassed, as they should have been.

      I liked Owens before seeing that, but I have much additional respect for her after she testified in front of a Congressional Committee and stood her ground.

      Fox News clip, so yadda yadda (couldn’t find the C-Span clip) but I’m sure it’s a more accurate account than CNN, if nothing else: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpMZ8A3qVrs

      Also, would.

      • Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

        Ted Lieu-ser. He’s such a shit individual.

        Also, love that Nadler got nadded.

  22. Sir Digby's Contrabulous Faptraption

    Since we’re free marketers/capitalists here, and, if I’ve not ever promoted the YT channel:

    Company Man

    Fairly simple overview of companies, in different analyses (profile, what happened to X, recovery stories, etc.). If you like this sort of thing.

  23. Sean

    The Kanye episode is still my favorite, but this episode is excellent. ??

    • Akira

      Assange, 47, has always maintained that the source of the leaks was not Russia, contrary to the conclusion of U.S. intelligence agencies.

      The fact that they can print a statement that fucking dishonest is a testament to the pathetic state of American media.

  24. SugarFree

    Damn fine work, CPRM.

    National Emergency Hat is a good addition to the canon.

  25. DEG

    “We’ll get Perry Mason to represent you.”

    Heh. Can’t lose!