I just wanted to say, it’s been just over a year since I started this series, thank you for being a friend!
The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 17: MAGA Country
About The Author
CPRM
Organic troll farmer.
I just wanted to say, it’s been just over a year since I started this series, thank you for being a friend!
I’m not your friend, pal.
MAMA Prime!
Fuck. Second, and a typo. I’m going to go pour another glass of wine.
Womp womp.
I just assumed you were into MILFS/GILFS. Speaking of, there is a very intriguing lady working the desk at the local planning department.
Re: merch
So, those design flask necklaces, can one order them filled with coke?
Asking for a friend.
Now I’m looking forward to seeing MAGA Prime wearing a flayed human skin.
Demi Rose’s?
We’ll need a bigger hat.
“Was she a… big girl?”
/Clarice
“Jesus Christ. This guy set himself on fire outside the White House.”
https://twitter.com/bedolla_maria/status/1133797975094960130
Not sure if this is the real video.
Details are weirdly sketchy.
But it remains a hot topic.
We really need to lick this problem of excessive punnery.
?
What do they call it when you attack someone on an internet forum? Don’t the kids have a term for that?
Simmer down.
Note the guy on his phone in the background. Just another day in DC
https://nypost-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/nypost.com/2019/05/29/man-sets-himself-on-fire-near-white-house/amp/?amp_js_v=a2&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQA#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fnypost.com%2F2019%2F05%2F29%2Fman-sets-himself-on-fire-near-white-house%2F
Some kind of FX guy making a protest? Fire extinguisher showed up too fast. It was planned.
That was a honking big extinguisher. The one’s our cops carry would no way put that guy out. They’re about the size of a two liter bottle. The first aid kits are ridiculous also. Once we encountered an accident while driving the service truck. One lady had a broken nose or a bad cut or something. I told her she should clean off the blood so we could see what happened. She took some convincing, but finally agreed. I got the 1st aid kit, opened it and realized that there was nothing in there that would work. Awkward!
Did you have to break the safety seal that keeps people from actually using the kits?
Fake and gay.
“Somebody tell him trump is still president”
I lol’d.
I’m so tempted to acquire H & H golf balls to randomly throw out onto the putting green behind my house….
Love it. Probably some Glibs that live near some even more betterer courses.
The summer that I was nine my brother and I had a pass to the local municipal pool which was just across the .
We, of course, were assholes who would come across two golf balls and throw one as far as we could in some random direction and drop the other into the nearest hole.
I noticed that lately there is a large chain-link fence around the access to the golf course.municipal golf course
Jeez, I really messed that up.
So, off topic,but I need advice. A few years ago I was dating a guy,and he was angry because I didn’t need his help to put together a cat tower or a coffee table. Then, while he was visiting family in Easter Europe, I bought a house. He was angry because he would have helped me on the down payment. Then ,I got sick and spent a week and a half in the hospital. I actually needed his help to mow the lawn, but he said not his problem. So, licked my wounds for a while. I’m ready to date again.
Should I say my most recent trip to Mexico involved a cooking class? Should I mention my 2mph adventure in England? What else should I put in an online profile? I don’t want to get married, but I do want companionship. Help me write a profile.
Christ, what an asshole.
Many, many times this.
“There are about 50 libertarians who will lick your ass if you piss me off”
Whoa! *kick
I don’t ask what goes on inside that trash can, mainly because I don’t think I want to know.
Oh. ??
There’s a few here, but I think they’re prolly pickier than Tulip.
??
I think you had it right the first time.
I eat ass.
Now that’s solid profile material.
???
I ? this place. (And typos)
We tried getting a lynch mob together, but all we could manage was some half naked guy dancing on the stage.
I’m sure someone here is NAP-flexible enough to make it work.
I can neither confirm nor deny a propensity to ignore calls for nonviolence.
Congratulations trashy, that’s one for the ages.
Father Ted unavailable for comment.
The Church of Woke. Father Micheal O’Grimsley.
Be brutally honest. Life is too short to suffer fools.
Exactly. However, no need to describe every want or issue.
Hard lesson learned is that it is better to be lonely than miserable in a relationship.
Oh, I agree, but hope springs eternal
There’s somebody for everybody. That last guy was not him. Keep looking and you’ll find him. Just remember, the road to success is paved with failure.
So, you’re moonlighting for the BabylonBee now?
So, I don’t know what you should include, but I can say from talking to my ex-BIL about what immediately turns him off. For one thing, there must be a basic bitch discount at Machu Pichu or something because every other white girl with a liberal arts or bio major loves traveling, hates Republicans, and has a selfie in front of a ruin in either Guatemala or Peru. Stuff like “I love to travel” is kind of eyeroll inducing. Also, don’t necessarily bring up relationship stuff. If you say you’re not looking to get married it makes you sound like something’s up, while if you were to say you were looking for a soul mate or whatever it sounds desperate as hell.
Also, you’re much, much better off without a sensitive flower who’s gonna get salty because he can’t show off his boss hex-wrench skills. And if he wanted to help you with the down payment what was stopping him from strokin’ a check for a few thousand after the fact? God, what a c.
I’d be happy with a gal that bought me a house, put together her own cat tower and let me tend to the lawn and grill.
First be honest with yourself. Who are you? What are you passionate about? What do you really want out of life? What are your deal breakers? Then present that openly. Don’t write what you think people want to hear, because then you have to fake it. No matter your kicks, someone will be into it.
I think the deal breakers are essential to understand about oneself. I know exactly those things up with which I will not put, but I am willing to be surprised about the rest.
I don’t have many, but I absolutely refuse to be a parent. I can barely take care of myself.
Such as ending sentences with prepositions?
Just remember that “happily ever after” is a fairy tale and the biggest lie we teach our children.
Look for someone that you can survive the bad times with. The rest is icing on the cake.
True dat. On a DVD of Daft Punk videos I actually heard the best advice ever. People fall in and out of love over and over again, even with the same person. The key is to find someone you like, that you care about, that cares about you, and that you can deal with at their worst and vice versa.
The key is to find
“First, assume a can opener.”
“Hi, I’m Tulip and I’m pleasant to be around.”
Include that and a decent photo and you should be golden.
This right here.
perfect.
If I were looking, I’d go for that approach. In the end that’s what I’d be after.
I feel like you should mention the cats. Cats were always a deal breaker for me.
As for what else to include, Like others said I guess it depends a lot on who you’re trying to impress/attract. I had always kept something about my education and employment, as I figured women care about that, and I was trying for educated women. If you want to tell a story pictures are better than words. When I was active online, I did include pictures of my travels, but I didn’t narrate it, show not tell strategy.
In the end I met a few girls that weren’t right and one that was, been married for 3+ years now.
She has one cat and one dog. A balanced human.
I do agree that mentioning the pets is a must. It’s dealbreaker for many, and you want to rule those people out right away.
Keep it short and to the point. Otherwise people have more of a tendency to prejudge what you are actually like based on your description.
Also, what dating site are you using? Write your profile now, then proofread the next day, or on two if hungover.
Put up pics of those cakes you make.
Tulip, you’re not new around here – you should know better than to ask this crowd that.
This should tell you how desperate I am. I’m lonely, and I’m tired of being lonely. Frankly, I have a bad track record of picking men. I need help, e
What makes you think this pack of misanthropes can help you find the sort of people you don’t want to nope away from?
Well, I like most of the people here.
I guess we do kinda grow on you like a fungal infection.
Definitely leave that part out of your profile.
No wonder I don’t get any replies.
Well that is problem number one.
You will tell them that they will pamper you and do as they’re told. If not, you will report them to the Glibertariat, who will mock them from across the internet.
…I see a new feature: “Pick Tulip’s Date!!”
Of course, voting would be in dollars.
Should we rule out any man from Florida?
Aw hell nah. Not as long as at least one of them is wearing a GoPro.
On the contrary, I think that would give them bonus points. Just think of the first date stories she would regale us with in the interwebs.
I was worried about the possible headlines.
*draws cane machete*
Nothing says keeper like a man who shows up shirtless but sporting a soul patch and a four-foot caiman.
“four foot caiman”
Not sure if that’s a euphemism…
I am deeply offended by that remark.
*harumphs and rides away on his alligator*
That would break the internet.
At this point, I might actually go for that. But, re, would talking about my recent trip help/ make any on interested?
Yes. It would scare off the insecure manboys who think they should be in charge, like the last one. You don’t need a “there, there, little girl” kind of guy. And it would also attract the adventurous type, if that’s what you’re looking for.
Adventure at 2 mph. It was an adventure to me, but really.
I have a former FWB who is going through online dating. Based on her experiences, prepare for a crapton of first dates that you wouldn’t have accepted otherwise.
Also, ditch guys who won’t pay for dinner.
You seriously overestimate who you need to sift through. You went to Europe, rented a barge, and drove it through the canals with just you and your friend. It’s 2019, the bar isn’t that high these days.
Bah. You will have far too many hits on your profile to sort through anyway. Even if you leave it blank.
I mean, this is free advice from a random dude on the Internet, so caveat…emptor?…but I’d save that for a date. That’s a good story and you don’t want to wear it out in a profile blurb. Unless you travel all the time and/or are looking for someone to travel with, I’d leave that out. Stick to stuff that’s kind of more by way of revealing your personality, things that are unusual, and things that are important to you.
Put down the drink and go to bed.
But, tomorrow I still need to write a profile. Help?!!
I don’t know how to, sorry. I’ve been there, but that was a while ago. Now – I’m not really looking, and comfortable with that.
Are you fairly well off, don’t need the man to be making the money?
No, I make my own money.
That you would want to leave off. Otherwise, you’ll be getting offers for, “$20, same as downtown”.
A/S/L? These are the real details, we gotta jazz em up!
You probably should wait until the third date to mention you are a counterfeiter.
#EndTheFed!!!
I think you should include mention of your trips. I enjoyed the story about the canal boat, and it shows an independent streak that any dude worth his salt should appreciate. I’d say be as honest as you can about what you are looking for and what you’re not looking for. You will likely get more responses than you can handle. I also would not do dinner dates for first dates. You’re going to have some crappy dates, so make them short things that are easy to escape from. Remember, even though the date may be absolutely horrible, you can still use the story to entertain us here.
Ooh, good advice about dinner dates. Drinks? It’s a low commitment and the booze can help loosen things up. On the other hand, the booze can become an issue and it’s easier to bounce if you’ve only committed to a cup of coffee as opposed to just however many drinks you can handle before the bar closes.
Drink and an appetizer, coffee, or some kind of activity date that is quick and painless and mutually enjoyable. I haven’t been on the market in a while, but my first date rule was no movies and no dinner. Screw having to pay for a dinner with someone that you find out two minutes in that there is no way you are ever doing date number 2.
I like the idea of doing something you will enjoy regardless of who you are with.
I’ve made a point of going,doing things I enjoy for several years and not met anyone. So, I need to try something else
I meant as part of the first date with your online acquaintance of choice.
Coffee should be the first date.
My “first date” was often one or more hours of fantastic conversation at the tail end of some bar night, followed by the worst imaginable dinner date in the daytime a few days later. It’s amazing how much alcohol changes people. (Not me!)
I’m a fan of drinking, don’t get me wrong, it’s just I don’t always make a great impression when I’m drunk.
“I’m a fan of drinking, don’t get me wrong, it’s just I don’t always make a great impression when I’m drunk.”
/Florida Man
Truer words have never been spoken. If there was a comment about meth in there, this would be worthy of in inscription on a statue, or something.
Most fans of drinking don’t. :p
I don’t see any issue with that.
LOL the Alka Seltzer + Pepto Bismol
I had the reverse of this. I asked a lady in for coffee and I actually meant coffee and she seem to really agonize over the decision before she said no. Not until I was drinking my cup of Joe did I realize what she thought I meant.
Was it in an elevator?
No. We had dinner as friends, but I guess she thought it was a date. I use to be pretty clueless in college.
It’s okay Florida Man, we all have our moments.
*Remembers getting propositioned for a ONS but just laughed it off thinking it was a joke*
Sigh…
Even from here. At least I share politics and most likely won’t get recommended a militant vegan.
How you doin’
What corner of the world are you in, anyway?
We’ve got a taker!
Just the fact that Tulip will put up with the men here earns her points!
Seriously.
I’m gonna start Libertarian dating app. Swipe left to a wood chipper or right to a porcupine humping a pile of cash.
militant vegan
Aren’t they all? Luckily they are low energy.
I did a speed dating event and got a militant vegan. Fuck.
Speed dating just strikes me as asking for failure. Five minutes (or whatever arbitrary short span) will never give an accurate read on the person’s personality.
But, I’m not pretty. I do better in person because I do have personality. Online is stressful for me
Confidence and personality can be worth a lot.
I’m not saying it should not be in person, I’m saying that five minutes will give a very different impression of someone than even just thirty minutes.
Knock that shit off. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and someone out there will think you’re a goddess.
This. Be yourself and someone will love you.
I’m not, I’m realistic. I do well in person, but online IS all about how you look. Speed dating is good for me, online, we’ll see.
Seriously, be confident in yourself. You’re an independent and intelligent woman. A rare breed. Be proud.
I’ve never done online dating, because I am a shy introvert and would DESPISE the entire process. It’s much easier for me to be myself online in a conversation. I did meet OMWC online. Just not on a dating site.
I know a dozen or so couples who met on common-interest sites.
Tell the truth SP, it was on tigerbeat.com, wasn’t it?
I tried online dating, shit, in the early aughts. Didn’t suit me at all; I didn’t meet a single gentleman. I need to meet people in person.
Hell, I met a guy on a BBS board in the 90s. Eventually we talked on the phone for 8 hours straight. I was in luv – and told him so in a letter. Never heard from him again.
That’s great, but I haven’t met anyone, so I’m going to try online dating
I’d always suggest getting to know people who are interested in the same things you are, preferably in an online discussion group or forum or…wait, I am NOT pimping anyone out here. But, when I wasn’t looking, I got to be friends online with a guy who was interested in many of the same things I am, and it’s just my good fortune it was OMWC. This is the best marriage I’ve been in. Mostly.
But don’t tell him I said that.
It was the free candy that got you, wasn’t it?
Jokes aside, you make a good point.
*Whistles*
I’m at a complete loss. You poor wom…girl. What you must have been through in your life.
Right, Spud? It’s sad. They write books about my life. And then make Lifetime channel movies out of the books.
As long as it’s not ID channel.
I know some really decent vegans. Lumping people into groups isn’t always accurate.
I’m not saying that it’s impossible to have a decent person from Vega. I’m just saying the militant descenders of the food chain drown them out.
Easier than dating Vogons.
I think you mean Vorlons.
Too gassy
Mankind’s last, best hope for a date?
Just lie back, fill out these forms, and think of queen of country?
I had a friend that drove a Vega. 1975 brown wagon.
Those Vegas were certainly no Monzas.
I had two Spyders and v8/4spd Sunbird. Always wanted a Mirage. Sold the last one to a collector in NY. They were popular out there, I’ve heard.
My high school friend who’s dad was a used car dealer found him a good condition 2+2 hatchback w/305, 4spd. That was a fun car.
Yeah, I had mine through the “Fast and Furious” era, and kids would pull up with those cars and want to race. The little 305 would smoke them badly. Then they’d pull up at the next light and ask if I had a v8. Yeah, barely.
An old, good friend was some variety of that – and I wanted to date him, too.
But deep down inside I know it never would have worked. I mean, aside from the fact that he turned out to be heterosexual.
Now THAT, needs a Glibertarian article.
…wait, did, he come out as straight?
Nah, he was always straight – just not painfully obvious about it. I’ve fallen into that trap a few times.
I used to have gay men approach me when I was young. I kind of miss the flattery.
I’ve had the reverse. Made me really uncomfortable for some reason.
When straight women flirt they can be really aggressive, so I could see how that would make you uncomfortable.
Tulip, I would first recommend taking any advice from me. But I’m on vacation now, and have been quality testing the beers that I picked up to send to my BIF target so…
First, what are you looking for in a partner? Are you looking for shared vacations or separate? Do you want someone who shares all of your interests, or only some of them? Do you want someone who will compete with you or not?
Second, what are the things that are right out? Is disliking dogs/cats/guinea pigs/rabbits right out? Not being willing to try new things? Thinking a one hour drive is a long trip?
Finally, what are you willing to compromise about? Can you give up eating pork? Are you willing to go/not go to church?
I’m not saying you should go full Mindy Robinson, but sharing a bit of your politics might help. Leftist feminist men tend to be abusers, so scaring them off might be good for your own safety.
“Should I say my most recent trip to Mexico involved a cooking class? Should I mention my 2mph adventure in England?”
Probably not, although you could say you enjoy cooking and travel.
But everyone likes cooking and travel
I used to hate cooking and am indifferent to travel.
That isn’t true. I know plenty of people who don’t.
A lot of people lie about that stuff, TBH.
About not cooking and not traveling?
“I love to cook and travel” when they really don’t.
Rhywun:
Sure they do. It’s just that cooking is mixing something out of a box, and traveling is going to get their hair/nails/etc done somewhere.
I hate cooking anything that can’t be done in two minutes in a microwave. Travel, yes, love it.
I got married to my wife because
1) she was the daughter of my dad’s best friend
2) she was hotter than lava
So why have we been married for 47 years?
1) well, we love each other
2) we work at it
We’ve had ups, we’ve had downs. Neither of us is of the type to throw the whole thing away. We forgive and move on.
Similar to the question, “How do you live to be 100?”
Answer, “One day at a time.”
I haven’t gotten a bite from my online dating profile years, not a big pool out in these parts. But this is something I like that I put in there :”What I am sure of, is that I like people who I can discuss such a wide array of topics with.”
I’ve never dated online. What I would look for is honesty, some similar interests, but also different ones that would make me interested in finding out more about you. Something that would indicate intelligence without pretentiousness.
Use a picture of you taken while you’re doing something you enjoy while smiling.
A nice and genuine smile is one helluva drug.
I think a genuine smile is the most attractive picture. No duck face crap.
@CPRM, you are getting noticeably better at your craft. That was an enjoyable episode.
Thanks.
Yus.
I want to see more Kanye…and his hat…
…Don’t attract Kanye’s lawyers.
I loved The Hair in his right place. I don’t remember that before please don’t ding me CPRM if you did it already
It is well that these do not start with Trump in the presidential shitter.
Why?
I think he’s his most regal self while on the crapper.
Seriously, who amongst us isn’t?
/shexting
Good lord, the site formatting is all over the place. Did we ever figure out what’s up with that?
That, and the embedded video which always fucks with Eyepiece are driving me nuts.
I don’t think you’re giving WordPress the proper amount of respect. They allowed us to use their platform.
We’ll get ratted out soon enough, mark muh words.
A perfect storm of updates and database issues. I’ve been working on resolving stuff since about 1000 this morning.
Wired has gone to complete shit. They’ve got at least 4 separate articles on Robert Mueller on their front page.
Been complete shit for many years.
Yeah, I remember the Obama tribute edition that made me want to puke.
*sigh*
I remember when they stuck to fellating people like Jean-Louis Gassée.
So true. I subscribed for years when it covered technology and it’s intersection with a number of different things. I forget how many years ago it went full on progressive. That was my cue to say goodbye.
I can’t watch it now, but looking forward to watching it after work.
“Pregnancy and childbirth cause serious and permanent changes to many women’s bodies. Require that a quarter inch be cut off of a man’s penis for every pregnancy he creates and see how quick we are to force women to indelibly risk and chance their bodies.
Honestly what if we just forced a quarter of men to be incontinent with every pregnancy they created? Fractured a third of their public bones for every child? That would be unconscionable. It’s also what’s pregnancy means for women.”
https://twitter.com/JillFilipovic/status/1128887637559971841
She seems nice.
Some dumbass married her. Think about that for a second,
#Would not touch, even with a 9-and-a-half-foot pole.
Dude. Step away from the twitter.
What a psycho.
The alternative to abortion is just having babies left and right. It is known.
She is 35 and has no children and is conflicted by that, partially due to the nutball leftism that she espouses. This is how she deals with it.
She’s a lawyer and blogs for Cosmo and HuffPo. Jesus.
She’s a lawyer and blogs for Cosmo and HuffPo.
I.e., she’s a high-functioning lunatic.
“High-functioning”? Well, I guess she does “function”. And it does appear that she’s high on some sort of substance.
You beat me to it.
I always have a gander at RealClearPolitics and she is responsible for a fair percentage of the most ludicrous anti Trump hysterical articles.
She’s two abortions away from dying alone
Some women want to have babies. Funny that is.
Gross
Right?! Ew.
A quarter inch?
*Does quick math*
Pssht…I could have like twenty-four kids or something.
*Struts away confident in his impossible lie*
Just understand what a small really is. (NSFW site).
Thanks a lot! Now I have to buy the “Rejecting advice of counsel” shirt for my wife.
You’re welcome. They’ve got some great shirts.
Holy shit, do they ever!
Great episode!
I’m waiting for the Hat to murder the pretenders.
Excellent CPRM!
Le sigh. Hound waits for one minute into the tied-up 3rd period of Game 2 of the Stanley Cup to demand to go out.
Really, I blame myself – a preemptive second-intermission walk was the way to go.
Don’t you have a pause button? These days I can’t record all my sports stuff.
It’s been a bit wonky recently, though it appears functional right now. The first 10 minutes have gone by at a good clip – we’ll see if she can make it thought the next 10 (20 minutes realtime, mebbe?)
Tulip. I can only speak for myself, but if I were in the dating market, what I would like to see in an online profile is pretty simple-
Evidence of intelligence, financial independence, and a pleasant disposition.
That would be enough to get me take a look.
Just my two cents, but I think many other men probably think the same way. Especially grown men who might me more of the type you are after.
How do you write men?
I think of a women…
You are *this* close to getting a clap emoji response. Tread carefully
I was going for a fill in your own blank adventure. Lol
I’m not the most handsome man around. As a matter of fact, I’m short and fat.
However, I’ve worked since I was 14 years old, have remained faithful to my wife and have raised three wonderful daughters who are independent and self-assured. Yeah, maybe I wouldn’t score high on the online dating app but my track record speaks for itself.
Seconded. It would be really damn refreshing to see someone like that for a change.
That is reassuring
I’m sort of loathe to respond because I’ve been married for twenty years. With that caveat, before you write a word, get comfortable with yourself. I saw what you wrote up thread. You are undervaluing yourself.
I dated a woman who had average to below average looks. She was sassy as hell, sarcastic, sure of herself, kind, and a great conversationalist. In other words, she turned out to be sexy.
It sounds like you want a man, not a boy. So tell the truth about who you are and what you want. Not everything has to be online. You can leave things to be discovered while you are dating. But do cover the big stuff. There must be characteristics that are important to you and, as suggested above, absolute deal breakers. Lay it out. Repulse the ones who will never work and attract the ones that could.
My wife doesn’t act like a psycho in public. She hates airing dirty laundry and gossip. I’ll take that over the hot American chick I lived with when I was single. Total nut case, but I was mesmerized by those big tiddies and didn’t heed my friends’ advice. Bet I’m not the only guy that would take a cool lady over a hot psycho. Don’t stick it in crazy indeed.
OMWC / SP:
Another really enjoyable pet-nat.
Thanks! That sounds delicious.
Late to the party but, beautiful, just beautiful.
‘What the fuck is wrong with you guys?’
They’re feeling their oats, Hair. Keeping them in check is going to be a challenge over the next year plus.
Thanks.
In local news.
https://5newsonline.com/2019/05/29/crawford-county-emergency-management-warning-residents-of-possible-levee-break/
This could be pretty bad.
Maybe it’s time to head to higher ground.
Is this the Heroic Mulatto Origin Story?
On Earth-26, yes.
Wait…which Earth were we again?
The best Earth. Classy. You’re gonna love it–guaranteed*.
*Not a guarantee
It’s a pretty yuge deal, ain’t it?
#DietCokeEarth
And then D.W. tells people what James said. Even if Principal Haney does not get involved, James will face the wrath of Molly (his sister and one of the Tough Customers).
I think I’m going to take my Hat and Hair mug when I meet UCS, and wear some mug gloves.
Thick enough to insulate, thin enough to still be able to grab the handle. And stylish, they have to be stylish.
So far the alcohol prepping for the weekend of camping (in currently predicted rain/thunderstorms) is the Dogfish Head Activity Box, a small bottle of Maker’s 46, and a couple of small bottle of mead for the girlfriend. After dropping in large amounts of water, the beer, and the mead in the cooler, we’ll need to see how much more room is in the cooler before making any further decisions.
An online dating anecdote:
My now-wife and I were on the same site, at the same time, living mere blocks away. I did not, however, pass her filters:
– too old
– too short
‘Too old’ was maybe appropriate – I’m 9 years older than her but she was well within my creepy-cutoff (age/2+7).
‘Too short’: she had, I believe, “6 foot or taller”. She’s 5’3″. I’m 5’7″. She has never, ever worn heels taller than 4 inches. I don’t think she’s ever owned 3 inch heels.
We met IRL at a food charity thing and semi-instantly clicked.
The moral – loosen up those online filters. It’s not an online-ordering system – you don’t pop in your parameters and have the perfect mate delivered.
(I think there’s an old Tierney Labs piece about stated preferences being wildly off from revealed preferences and how speed-dating is probably your best bet).
TBH, I don’t get that. I like being around the same height as my feller. Little taller, little shorter – I don’t care either way. But giant difference like that? Nuh-uh.
Maybe it’s a female thing? It’s quite common.
My sister is legit miniature – 4’9″ – and she still prefers dudes of above-average height.
At least she admits it’s irrational.
They like the 3 “highs”. Education, salary, height. Very rational.
Short people breed with tall people to create average people?
ISTR short genes end up dominant, so that won’t help.
My neighbors growing up were giant dude/short wife (like, 6’4″ & 5’0″), kids were short to very short (anecdote equals datum, right?)
I have three older brothers like 6′ and above. Dunno what happened with me.
Prolly. Also, I’m 5’8″ – so it’s not like I’m gonna have to exclude too many guys due to height difference.
The thing that always seemed weird to me as a straight guy was seeing a gay couple that look almost like twins.
Ew, I don’t like that either. I may like similar heights but that’s as far as it goes. I’m a pale blond, I look for not that.
I’m a pale blond
Carlson Kressley?
Minus the spray tan and the, uh, demonstrativeness, for lack of a better word.
Relevant: https://youtu.be/VeX-eXBw3D0?t=79
I was looking at some vacation photos of a friend and his husband tonight. I’ve known them about 15 years. They always resembled each other, same weight and height, same skin and hair and eye colors, same basic face shape. Now they are seemingly working on making it more so all the time. Same style glasses, same hair cut, same beard shape, same clothing styles and colors. They even have the gray in their beards exactly in the same place. It’s a little disconcerting.
I have a brother whose wife liked to dress them in matching outfits when they were first together. He doesn’t give a shit about that stuff, so he just went along with it. (He only puts his foot down about stuff that matters to him.) I found it very strange.
There were several families at Viva Las Vegas that were fully dressed up in matching outfits, down to the babies in strollers. It was somewhat disconcerting.
Heh. I’m 6’5″–the wife is 5’5″, 5’6″ (something like that–short is short).
I’d be even more SOL if most women went by that metric. Of course SHD applies here.
Meh. I’m 5′ 10″ and the girlfriend is 4′ 10″. But I’ve dated from her height to up over 6′.
You had a Sixer?? Lucky….(dammit)
When can we expect the how to article on dating tall women?
Yeah, Neph; cough up the details. Am I gonna hate number 4, or, is there one weird trick?
Fuck if I can explain it. Somehow in the late 90’s/early 00’s, I was somehow able to date women well out of my league. So, grow long hair, look younger then you are, don’t be a dick, have a bar you’re a regular at, and know how to dance (and at this time, that was swing dancing) is the only advice I can give.
When we adopted through the county, it was similar. One Asian couple were considering choosing Asian only for their baby. I was like, “I doubt you’ll ever get that” and they changed it. People get oddly specific when adopting. Like a blonde couple only wanting blonde babies. Going through the county, it just ain’t gonna happen. All the babies are black and brown. My kid is black.
You give this fellow 5’7″ lad hope.
You’re well within the acceptable range here, Rapha.
Tulip–If you’re still around, and taking advice:
I did online dating quite a bit (with varying degrees of ‘success’) before I met my wife, which was actually through my best friend. Your local dating pool will probably be a determining factor in whether or not the online route works out for you. Meaning, something more organic may be the better route. But that’s something you will have to determine for yourself.
As far as what to put in: I doubt you will get your profile perfect, so just think about what is right: What describes you best, and still leaves plenty of room for conversation. Don’t think of it as possibly putting in/leaving out “the wrong thing”, so long as you are staying safe. Slumbrew’s story shows that it’s possible to miss a potential good guy based on what’s matching up profiles, but, that doesn’t mean you can’t tweak and re-work a profile. Or, use other sites if a particular one isn’t working.
Also:
* mention that you’ve traveled, but leave the locations and stories for another venue
* your fundamentals/deal-breakers should be listed, and clear, but not come across as strident.
* be as specific as you can about the things you want in and from a guy
Like many others have said, it’s is almost certainly not going to be a success-only journey, so you should plan on it taking time, and a trial-and-error approach. I think you’re doing the right thing by asking for advice, and, if you have someone who can proof-read/critique what you come up with, avail yourself of their help. If you want our collective help going forward, it looks like we’re all willing pitch in, so ask away.
I’m waiting for the matchmaker to make me a match.
…………………………Chuck Woolery?
/married 4 times , btw
Are you thinking of Match Game? Wouldn’t that be Gene Rayburn?
No!! Love Connection…
This one has an Uncle Rico wanna-be
Good luck Tulip, I find myself in a similar situation as you but haven’t tried online yet. There is a bunch of good advice above which I can only add, be yourself. Oh, and for your profile pic wear a top hat and/or a monocle. (Just kidding.)
Hawaii is a strange dating environment because it is both small and an unusual mix of racial blindness and racial over-awareness.
Your travels at 2 mph will make interesting material for a date discussion. Since I “race” sometimes at 3-6 knots, and speak with a date about it; if you find somebody who likes 2 mph travel there is potential for a second meeting there.
The first six comments are gold.
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2019/05/29/how-much-do-we-have-to-donate-for-lena-dunham-to-put-some-clothes-on/
Heheheheh….
Don’t let HM know about that.
Twitter As It’s Meant To Be™. Seriously, just went down a rabbit-hole of stupidity thanks to them.
That site is a guilty pleasure.
Risk of doxxing myself, oldest kid did his senior project…now if I can kick his ass into gear to maybe explore film making.
https://youtu.be/sfIPopYTZNA
Dammit, why couldn’t my HS, in the mid-80’s, have this in their cinematography program???
Good on him, Own.
They have top quality production and I too wish I had that. I had a crusty old graphic artist that lamented about computers…but man can he work a four color press
Nice.
PS. I always thought “hall monitor” was like a John Hughes or something thing that didn’t exist in reality. It certainly didn’t exist in my town.
Yeah doesnt exist and he was drawing from late 80s early 90s films about highschool.
‘Hall monitor’, ‘Trustee’…just the government allowing a taste of authority to its captives.
That’s a bold move Cotton.
https://www.dailycaller.com/2019/05/29/palestine-boycotts-israel-hospitals/
Now, that is winning! You go, Big I.
Does anyone know the reason (drink!) for Mueller’s press conference today? I don’t get it. We didn’t learn anything new. The commentary about it is a political Rorshach test. What was the point?
Give cover for the impeachment proceedings.
Pretty much. Which I don’t get, given that it will reveal how the Dems started the whole thing. *shrug*
Matt’s claws come out. Rawr!
Mother? I thought you died a few years ago…
So, where do you wanna go for vacation?
Huh. So some of your recent comments, guys, have been kicked into spam, no discernible reason. I’ve about had it for putting out fires here today, but I’ll try to stay up a while longer in case any further remarks get stuck!
I’m glad we have you, SP. You do good work.
Awww. Thanks. (Pretty pup!)
So, the
bastardsfellow glibs haven’t gone quiet (necessarily)?Good to know. Also, what Tripacer said. 🙂
Well, they seem to have now.
Thanks, also.