Trump dismisses report of plan to send 120,000 troops to Iran
“Have you ever seen blood-soaked sand?” John Bolton’s mustache asked suddenly. “The center, where it has soaked in deepest, is the darkest red, nearly black. On the edges, it can be almost purple. It’s quite beautiful.”
“Yeah, that’s not creepy or anything,” the hair said from atop Donald’s head.
“I have plans, Mr. President,” the mustache said, crawling off John Bolton’s face, onto his shoulder, then down his arm to perch on the arm of the Oval Office couch, certain hairs waving to taste the air. John Bolton’s body fell back on the couch, slack and lifeless.
“You have plans?” the hat asked from the Resolute desk, protectively covering the Diet Coke button.
“Plans are being made,” the mustache corrected himself defensively. “Contingency plans. For Iran.”
“120,000 soldiers to counter Iran?” the hair asked.
“Do we even have that many soldiers?” the hat asked.
“Where would he house them? How much would it cost? How likely is it that Iran is going to do anything?” the hair asked John Bolton’s mustache.
“Soldiers want to fight,” the mustache insisted.
“Is that really the point?” the hair asked.
“I want to talk to the President,” the mustache said hotly.
“Donald is busy,” the hat said.
“Very busy,” the hair said from atop Donald’s head.
“He just sitting there,” the exasperated mustache squeaked.
“He’s tweeting about tariffs,” the hat said.
“Twitter,” the mustache said with disgust.
Donald farted and the scent of Egg McMuffin filled the office.
“War is the health of the state!” the mustache screamed. “I want to pump some fucking iron!”
“We need that money for the wall,” the hat said calmly. “We are being invaded right now, right here and you want to go fight some ragheads half a world away.”
“We need those troops,” the hair said.
“For the southern border,” the hat said.
“No obstruction,” Donald muttered, still staring at his phone. “Exonerated.”
“We might have to deploy them if the election next year gets out of hand,” the hat said.
“But Iran is trying to get nuclear weapons!” the mustache wailed.
“Let them,” the hat said coldly.
“The first time they use one, the whole country becomes a glass parking lot,” the hair said.
“But we don’t have to let them!” the mustache said. “We invade now! Pre-emptive war has never failed to make things better!”
“Wall,” Donald muttered.
“OK, OK, you heard the man,” the hair said.
“Get on your golem and go,” the hat said.
“War! War! War!” the bushy mustache repeated, wriggling in agitation.
“As much as we enjoy violence, we’re really more into sex around here,” the hat said.
“No grope,” Donald said. “Biden grope. Donny no grope.”
“Tariffs, Donald,” the hair said, undulating to perform a scalp massage.
“Tough on China, tough on stains,” Donald agreed.
Blood-soaked sand is just black in that brown sand in the Middle East.
Bravo! Too many good parts to pick just one.
“As much as we enjoy violence, we’re really more into sex around here,” the hat said.
An admirable policy.
I’ve mellowed enough with age to agree!
Here! Here!
Of course, “STEVE SMITH prefer best of both worlds!”
Why not both? – Daenerys T.
“Tough on China, tough on stains,”
Policy position or detergent commercial?
Ancient Chinese secret?
The continuing personification of body hair cannot end up in a happy place.
I’m thinking “merkin” has an M, “MAGA” has an M, but I can’t quite get the two together.
I’m proud to be a merkin, where at least I know I’m free…
Ayup
Just wait for those knock off hats to appear on the market now… Merkin America Great Again!
That works OK, but I was struggling with something more merkin-specific for the AGA.
Demanding, aren’t you? If you want to work “merkin” in, you want to go with SMEGMA.
Maybe a simpler “Don’t Tread On Merkin” would suffice.
Merkin As Gan Again
Ano-genital takes care of the middle two letters.
Wait for the special guest appearance from Creepy Uncle Joe’s Hairplugs.
“As much as we enjoy violence, we’re really more into sex around here,” the hat said.
That should be his slogan in 2020.
I’m going with “Biden grope. Donny no grope.”
amawevwrmisah
Bit much for a hat.
Looks like a village in Syria.
One that probably should be avoided.
Is it wrong to call it providence that we have a secretary of state with such facial hair to make this possible?
I really think the experience in the fuck-tunnels has brought the Hat and Hair closer. They seem to be working as a team now.
“Donald farted and the scent of Egg McMuffin filled the office.”
Is that from the big macs he ate or the fries?
Honestly, the Trump apologia, bordering on worship, around here is getting kind of hard to take.
/TOS off
“Donald farted and the scent of Egg McMuffin filled the office
Every damned time, so close to lunch. I should know better but yet I’m mesmerized. I’ll wait another hour (or two) before I try to eat…
I am beginning to think they do it on purpose. Post at 11:00 and giggle.
OT: I want to know if SF is really Zerohedge or writing for him cause this headline screams SF all the way…
I don’t think I can click a link that says “Vietnamese dong manipulator” at work.
OK. That knocked me out for the night. Good to leave on a laugh.
The sad part is how little a Vietnamese dong is worth.
Dongs dongs
in vietnam
was it your dad’s or
was it your mom’s?
I’ve never seen a picture of 500,000 hos before.
Oops, I guess it’s 500,000 dongs. I would have figured Thailand over Vietnam…
OT Update: I’m now on my third day of not having sex with Alyssa Milano due to her sex strike, and to my great surprise I find that I’m doing just fine.
So you haven’t changed your position on late term abortions? Not even a little?
I support them only after the 75th trimester and before the 124th.
Looks like Alyssa is in her 185th trimester. Let’s ask her mom how she feels about retroactive abortions to the 200th trimester.
So far I’m holding fast. But I’m staying away from reruns of Unwoke Charmed, just to be on the safe side.
My response. Replace ATC with sex and government with wife.
Okay, my recent visit to the Babylon Bee, even found me something apropos of this topic.
#MeToo
It’s weird. I thought it would be really difficult to get used to but it sort of feels normal for some reason. Mind you, I’ve started a premium membership on PornHub and haven’t divorced my wife, so I’ve got some help getting through the day.
It is weird, isn’t it? Almost as if nothing at all had changed.
I did scowl at my toddler yesterday, though, so maybe it’s working.
I cheated…sorry guys. Looked up an old Charmed episode and her workout tape and fapped one off. Least I didn’t use the Who’s The Boss material like OMWC.
If you stick to the 90’s episodes it should be OK.
Somewhat on-topic: Man, the Babylon Bee throws down some weapons grade satire.
For my pal, Baked Penguin.
Genius.
“Decorative knobs” lol
Sending that off to the bass player in our church…
Ditto
Thx, buddy. That’s a good site, and good article.
…and probably true. Neither Jaco Pastorius nor John Entwhistle were known for their bass lines for songs of devotion.
Oh damn! Twitter Bans Official AOC Account After Mistaking It For Satire
LOL
Snopes rates: Partially False
not mincing words.
https://babylonbee.com/news/report-more-unborn-babies-in-new-york-identifying-as-convicted-criminals-so-they-cant-legally-be-executed
Snopes rates: Somewhat True
OMFG: https://babylonbee.com/news/pope-francis-mourns-carbon-emissions-given-off-by-notre-dame-fire
And the flip side: https://babylonbee.com/news/first-baptist-dallas-launches-keep-trump-in-christmas-initiative
Snopes rates: Truest form of truth.
Every time Han Solo (or anyone else who understands Wookie) hears Chewbacca speak, this is what he experiences.
not clicking that at work.
Do it.
Huh, neat and family friendly…
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: SugarFree should be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
I’d wear it all the time. To the grocery. To work. Even swimming.
If you don’t it means you hate freedom.
I almost don’t want to say anything to jinx it, but this one was surprisingly tame compared to what I’ve come to expect. From a nausea-inducing terror perspective, I mean.
Just wait for next time when the hair and the mustache rekindle their love with their hosts still attached.
Trashy just won the Internet.
Almost got out of this thread without a horrifying image. Almost.
It’s your lucky day!
He’s like a martial-looking Wilford Brimley.
Brett Kavanaugh sides with liberals.
https://www.soundandvision.com/content/supreme-court-deals-apple-setback
It’s an interesting antitrust case. I kinda agree with the liberals with this one*. When the costs are passed to the consumer, they should have standing to sue.
*SLDs about antitrust
Are you saying you agree with the standing ruling, or with the plaintiff’s argument? Or both?
The standing ruling. I’m vehemently against antitrust law, but if it is to exist, i think that standing should be broadly construed downstream of the anticompetitive behavior.
I gotcha, and from my very much lay perspective I agree.
Ridiculous. If you don’t like the terms, buy a different phone.
I solved this problem by not buying Apple products to begin with, in part for this very reason.
I don’t really know enough about the industry to have a strong opinion but something about this is bugging me.
Apple has a monopoly on selling apple products and software that operates on those products?
I don’t have a problem with that argument.
Here is where I do have a problem: Once the customer buys the product it is no longer Apple’s property. If it is mine I can put any whistle or bell on it I want to. Chevrolet cannot demand that I only fit my Chevy with tires manufactured by Chevy or a manufacturer they approve of. The damned car is mine, so I do have a problem with Apple’s position.
*Wife has Murder She Wrote TV show on. Goddammit, noted serial killer Jessica Fletcher has done it again and it looks like she is going to get away with murder yet again. Worse she has framed some innocent person for the crime…again. When are they going to catch on?
I believe your talking about a similar but different issue. The ownership arguments really go to the right to repair suits as well as the acts of jailbreaking/hacking/removing-DRM from something you’ve purchased. That’s where the click through license agreements are currently saying you can’t do these things, because you didn’t buy this movie, you just licensed it from us; or you’re not buying a phone, we’re giving it to you, and you’re getting a license for the OS and software.
I’ve got no issue with a company not supporting mods/hacks/etc. after the fact (you try to jailbreak your iPhone and brick it, that’s on you) but I do strongly disagree with the companies saying that it is illegal to do/provide software to do it/tell people how to do it.
I had a vague understanding of the licensing con they are running but that doesn’t really fly with me. You took my money for the license to operate the software and supplied the machine for free? If I drop it in a toilet on accident shouldn’t you supply me with a new one for free to operate the software I purchased a license for? No? Well then I want to purchase one. No? I can’t do that either?
They are walking a thin line on this. There was a time when I was surprised that the tech giants became such evil scheming shitheads but that time has passed. Still, I don’t want to let my desire to see them punished color my view on the rule of law.
This suit (if it’s the one I’m thinking of) doesn’t even touch on that. It’s just users suing that Apple has a closed environment, and takes a 30% cut from all sales in the AppStore.
For the music licensing, back in the day, I sent a couple of e-mails to RIAA regarding just that. I had a bunch of CD’s stolen from my car, so I asked them (as they were claiming CD’s were a license without even any agreement), I requested replacement media. For some reason, they never got back to me, even after I mentioned that I had ripped them all to MP3 already, and was seeking clarification.
That’s the one.
I haven’t followed this case at all, but it seems like it could set everyone down a very slippery slope. Apple developed its own OS, and only allows certain software to use that OS (and charges for the privilege).
The software business is built on licenses. That, by the way, is what people opposed to IP in principle generally say should be done to monetize IP. If the court rules against Apple, they will be putting some pretty stringent restrictions on what two willing parties* can agree to in a license. So, what restrictions on software licenses are going to be imposed by the government, here? How long until some bright spark realizes that with the government now micromanaging the commercial terms, and thus the use, of software, there’s all kinds of stuff that could be done? Hell, I could easily imagine this being a backdoor for Net Neutrality.
*Setting aside for the moment that EULAs are generally not read, understood, or negotiated.
You’ve got a similar fight (in the court of public opinion right now) going on between Steam (the big seller of digital copies of video games), the Discord store (kind of), and the Epic store (bare bones, just starting, but with an enormous war chest of cash). As it currently stands, Epic has been buying exclusive distribution rights to games with cash, while giving developers a larger share of the purchase price (Steam was also 30% for a long time, while Epic is a 12% cut).
The buying of exclusives is sitting poorly with a lot of gamers, and it’s an interesting tact. So far, there’s only two games that I’ve been interested in that have had this happen to them (Borderlands 3 and Outer Worlds). But with Steams great sales and stability (and my giant game backlog), I’m willing to wait it out.
I treat exclusives as “Not on the market yet” because I dislike the practice.
This is common in Business to Business equipment. The equipment manufacturer requires the purchaser to use genuine replacement parts and the manufacturer’s service suppliers or they do not provide warranty or service support including critical updates to firmware or software. They usually have a contract that limits the time of the contract or when they themselves stop providing services for the equipment.
Third parties can provide service but can not buy replacement parts.
Came here to write this.
I’m talking about you Applied Materials.
Basically, Apple makes it a precondition for the sale that you agree to their terms of service. It’s their right, morally, to dictate the terms under which they will sell you something.
Of course, people can point out that Apple has patents of monopoly that prevent people from building similar products, and that the anti-trust law arguments are essentially an attempt to correct via government intervention the inevitable dislocations caused by the government granting patents of monopoly.
Relevant
So can I sue Sony because my PS2 didn’t let me shop on Amazon?
I’m going to sue Barnes & Nobles for not making their books available on my Kindle.
“I’m gonna sue Jack Daniels for what did to me last night”
I can’t play all the movies I bought on google with my firestick. So stupid.
I think the amount of exposure a person has had to software licensing has a lot of influence on which side of this they fall on.
Likely true as I can’t even pick a side because of my ignorance but these explanations are helping.
“You will be under our protective umbrella via warranty if you abide by our terms. Violate our terms and you are on your own. Take your chances with the other guy if you want to.” – I have no problem with this.
“No one can legally compete with us.” – This is a problem. Invariably this will lead to the consumer getting a good hard, fucking.
Well, I’m used to dealing with the whole “seat license” thing, which always bothered me. I had a hard time with the idea that physical media I paid for and installed onto my physical hard drive on my physical computer that I owned did not result in my owning the software. It’s easier with digital delivery to think of it as paying for the right to use someone else’s software on your own hardware.
Wade through the Open Source Initiative’s license page if you want to see the other side of the coin. The MIT license is a really common one, and there’s nothing about it that prevents you from selling the software. But, there’s nothing that prevents the person you sold it to from selling it, either. And in this context, that means they can sell as many copies of the copy that you sold them as they want.
In the open source model people tend to make money through providing paid support since the software itself is available to anyone at all for more or less any purpose for free.
Its all about the business model. The “seat” license is a business model that scales the license fee, so that everyone isn’t paying exactly the same fee, whether they are a solo operation of a Fortune 100 company.
The open source model is about using the software as a loss leader for a “long tail” of service contracts. This is a very common model, sometimes used for service contracts, sometimes used for supplies and other equipment. If I make a gizmo that only accepts the supplies that I also sell, am I now a “monopolist” for those supplies? If I can’t make money on the supplies, then I’m going to have to charge more for the gizmo. I’m unconvinced that the antitrust laws should be used to outlaw entire business models, rather than just abusive business practices.
That’s how it was, until Congress passed the DMCA, which states:
Effectively making it illegal to “jailbreak” (put different software on) a phone or other electronic device. Later, federal regulators created some exceptions to this rule. But they don’t cover everything. Most consumer devices can be legally modified, but there are still some limits to what you can do with them.
Apple builds and sells a closed ecosystem.
They advertise that they build and sell a closed ecosystem. They claim that this allows them to control quality and security.
They use a license to force you to acknowledge that Apple products are a closed ecosystem.
They have been doing this for decades.
I don’t understand how people think they can sue Apple for enforcing this closed ecosystem.
I have never purchase an Apple product and I never will, because they enforce their closed ecosystem. Just take your money somewhere else.
Stop trying to make this simple Kinnath.
–the lawyers
Exactly. That’s why I’ve always been an Android guy. It’s why I’ve avoided Apple like the plague since the Mac 512k.
The iPhone only came out 12 years ago.
They have been a closed ecosystem since the 80s. First desktop computers, then iPods, then iPhones. The noose gets tighter on each generation of products, but it has been there since the 80s.
And there was Apple suing clone makers just over 10 years ago. There was a reason that IBM took off, and that was because of the clones.
Perhaps you’re referring to hardware, in which case I still say if you want to do more than (say) install extra RAM on an iMac, look elsewhere.
It was never the case for software until the iPhone came out.
You can’t install anyother OS on Apple Hardware, as far as I know.
I can install any OS I want to on a Mac.
What you can’t (legally) do is install macOS on non-Apple hardware.
Oops, I was thinking backwards, yeah it’s there OS that checks for hardware compatibility. Carry on.
It took them almost 30 years to make a Desktop Computer that would even use components from a 3rd party manufacturer.
They have been at it long before the iPhone. I actually own a….uh….I can’t remember the name….one of those computers made by a third company licensed briefly by Apple back in the late nineties to manufacture machines that run on Apple’s OS. That didn’t last long but I still have the machine.
My problem is that I bought Apple way back in the Stone Age when they were the shit. I learned on that any exposure to other machines made me hate them. Slowly it will sink in that I need to get away from Apple. In other words Apple is no longer the woman I felll in love with and married. I have to face the fact that divorce is in the cards.
Typical class action BS. Apple pays 10’s of millions, the lawyers get at least a third and millions of apple customers get a two-dollar voucher for Apple products.
I went to Apple for the heart-monitoring functions of the watch. Don’t hate the walled garden as much as I thought I would, but I accept it. I’m getting just what I knew I was paying for.
Computer and software companies have been going off the deep end with this crap. You don’t buy games any longer, you rent them from Steam. You don’t buy software any longer, you rent them from the companies, and all the data is “in the cloud”. F*ck you – I want my games on my computer, and I want my programs and my data on my computer. I don’t like them, I don’t trust them, and I don’t want them potentially controlling my data, especially given the news that’s come out about Apple, Facebook, Google, et.al.
I don’t like them, I don’t trust them, and I don’t want them potentially controlling my data
I hear you, Baked. I’m just not real sure I want the software licensing model outlawed or even micro-managed by the courts or the government.
You’ve got GOG (Good Old Games) which does DRM free versions of all the games they sell, you can download them and back them up all you want. Steam allows offline play (for 30 days I believe) without checking in, and has promised to remove all Steam DRM from games if they go under (and we know what a promise is worth, but Steam has done a lot of stuff right).
RCD – I agree. What scares me is that it seems a lot of software companies are moving in this direction. However, getting the government involved is not going to be a solution. We need a geeky Odysseus to somehow navigate between this Scylla and Charybdis.
Neph- I’ve ordered a few games from GOG, so I’m aware. The more serious issue is with other software – productive work software, (hell, productive personal use software).
Also, I have never – not once – had a decent experience with Steam. I’ll admit it may have been user error, but I’ve also never been able to play any of their games offline.
What scares me is that it seems a lot of software companies are moving in this direction.
All the companies care about is that you don’t make a million copies and sell them. Sure, theoretically they could muck things up for the average end user, but thats not why* it’s structured this way.
*the burgeonimg move to subscription model aside
“The first time they use one, the whole country becomes a glass parking lot,” the hair said.
Basically.
What makes people uneasy is the uncertainty of that strategy when dealing with true believers in a doomsday cult. Even if you think that most Iranian leaders don’t fit that description, some certainly do.
They haven’t actually successfully tested a nuke, have they?
Not yet.
But they are my short list of people crazy enough to use it.
Nope. Though they have tested ballistic missiles designed to deliver one.