The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 18: Thermopylae

by | Jun 26, 2019 | Hat and Hair | 604 comments

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About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

604 Comments

  1. Sean

    Definately collusion.

    Also, ?.

  2. Don Escaped Texas

    the drone . . . had no man in it . . . it was an . . . unmanned drone

    • Rhywun

      He’s got the gift of gab, doesn’t he?

      • Sean

        He used to annoy me with his speech patterns, now he just cracks me up (IRL).

        Trump 2020, for the lulz.

      • Lackadaisical

        Honk honk.

  3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    Seriously: how much fun was this particular episode to make?

    • CPRM

      The same amount of fun?

      • Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Look, you—I’ll ask the questions!

  4. Lackadaisical

    Bigly done, nice.

  5. Tundra

    Excellent. As you said earlier, it meshed nicely with SF’s H&H.

    I’m worried about the Hat.

  6. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    I highly recommend Histories by Herodotus for those who haven’t read it. It’s a huge book, but its description of the Persian invasion of Greece is fascinating.

    • DenverJ

      Hmm. I am fragmented. There are parts of me that want to: call you a nerd, curse you for the man hours needed to read it, thank you for the recommendation, and also ask are you sure it’s worth it?

  7. Lackadaisical

    Today i learned that a “four foot” sandbox does not hold a 4×4’x6″ amount of sand. especially when it’s really only 40″×26″…

    Fixing cheapskates.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The ole 10lbs of sand in a 5lb sack conundrum?

      • Lackadaisical

        800-200, but yeah.

      • Lackadaisical

        I tried looking at them in stores, so this wouldn’t happen, but no store keeps them in stock.

      • Tundra

        I built my own.

        Just sayin’.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      That’s 3500 fluid ounces, UCS 🙂

    • DenverJ

      Huh? So, what did you order a cubic yard of sand delivered? I don’t get it. You have a sandbox that doesn’t even look square, but you assume it’s 4×4 without measuring? Or am I misreading?

    • hayeksplosives

      Lol

  8. Count Potato

    I hope these videos are stored somewhere safe. The internet purge is accelerating.

    “Reddit Censors ‘The_Donald’ Community of 750,000 Trump Supporters

    The community, one of the most active sources of grassroots support for the President on the Internet, has been placed in “quarantine” mode by the administrators of Reddit. Visitors to the page are met with a screen asking them if they wish to view the page.

    Content from quarantined communities will not appear for members who are not subscribed to the board, known as a subreddit.

    A spokesman for The_Donald condemned the move by Reddit in a comment to Breitbart News:

    “Reddit has been finding methods to methodically censor The_Donald for years now. Enforcing special rules that only The_Donald has to follow, largely screening our submissions from reaching the front page, allowing far-left communities to harrass and dox our members (to the point of creating a chrome extension that marks anyone that posts on The_Donald).”

    “This is their next step, and is generally Reddit’s step just before outright banning a community. Their reasoning is hardly sound, given that they claim they’ve had to spend too much time removing content on the subreddit that violates site-wide rules, yet their own logs show less than one removal [per] day. This censorship also takes place on the eve of the Democratic Primaries, which seems less than coincidental,” the spokesman continued.”

    https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2019/06/26/reddit-censors-the_donald-community-of-750000-trump-supporters/

    TW: breitbart

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      This pisses me off. Not because of the censorship (ok, that pisses me off too), but because these conservatives keep sticking their hand into the alligator’s mouth and act like a victim when the gator bites down.

      If a tech company has its headquarters north of Tijuana and west of Reno, they hate you. Act accordingly.

      • Count Potato

        The thing is these companies weren’t always this way. It mostly started after Trump won.

      • Nephilium

        Not really. Believe it or not, /. (Slashdot for the youts here) used to have a huge libertarian streak among the commenters. That changed almost a decade ago at this point.

      • Winston

        I wonder if the libertarianish streak of the internet in the past may have been due to the fact that the general population still hadn’t really adopted the internet in large numbers or began to use it for political purposes…

      • Sir Digby (PBUH)

        So, the “3% rule”?

      • Florida Man

        So…you’re saying libertarians will definitely be the first to colonize space?

      • Winston

        If they can develop rockets, long term spacecraft and space colonization then maybe…

      • Nephilium

        I think it had more to do with the thought process behind the original protocols. Almost all of them were designed to be decentralized, and to be able to be implemented by anyone. Off the top of my head, the only new item even similar to come out in the past couple of years would be the blockchain (which also has attracted quite a bit of libertarian interest).

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Definitely.

      • Count Potato

        Sure, but Slashdot was never a major platform. LiveJournal showed how left they were after Sandy Hook, perhaps earlier.

        Reason used to used to have a huge libertarian streak among the commenters too.

        Whereas Google and Facebook are huge.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not just slashdot. The tech culture in general was much more that way, or more so apolitical. More meritocratic, with strains of counterculture and antiorganization.

        I haven’t been back to slashdot in years. I can’t imagine how bad it must be these days.

      • Rhywun

        I remember reading the Jargon File cover-to-cover in my early “hacker” days (the proper definition of which is given therein) and wondering at the same claim. It already wasn’t accurate in the late 90s.

      • Nephilium

        Back in the days of local BBS’s and usenet, being able to defend your opinions was considered a critical and important skill. Debate would happen frequently, and reputation was based on your handle. There would be people who would burn down their original handle, and try to come back under a new one. If they kept up the same shit, they would continue to be called out and ostracized (or modded to oblivion depending on the board). If they went with a new route, and argued in good faith, they would be accepted.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Funny. I was thinking about that very description.

        Full disclosure, I sent in something circa mid 90’s and my name is among the hundreds of contributors in the 3rd edition of the printed version.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        It’s about Trump, tis true.

        But these companies barely existed before Obama. It is the American thing to go full blast, firstest, fastest, and with the most mistakes, on all things, and so it is with these guys. The chance to misbehave like this with tools like this against a fellow like Trump has only existed two years.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        these conservatives keep sticking their hand into the alligator’s mouth and act like a victim when the gator bites down

        Isn’t that basically the plan?

      • Florida Man

        No. The plan was to do the “butterfly bow”, but shit goes sideways sometimes in the gator biz.

      • Sensei

        Sorry on the train and can’t watch!

        The issue, of course, is that if you bail on one of the “normal” platforms and go alternative folks will say you post with the white supremacists and the like. It’s a nice Catch 22.

      • Winston

        Ding Ding. Also broaden the definition of white supremacy to include everything you disagree with. See the salami strategy

      • Winston

        Aren’t we guilty of this too? WordPress likes to censor too….

      • DenverJ

        If a tech company has its headquarters north of Tijuana and west of Reno, they hate you. Act accordingly.

        You could even do something crazy and start your own website!

      • Winston

        Who will host it?

      • DenverJ

        Your mom?
        I’m sorry, it was low hanging fruit. But, you can host a website yourself. An old PC or laptop will do. It may not be pretty, but, if you have an internet connection, you can host your website yourself.

      • DenverJ

        The only people who could truly shut you down would be… fuck I don’t wanna google it… but its like ICAN or something, and like the Panama canal, we used to own it but gave it away, and that’s the body who ultimately does something magical and my drink is kicking in.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        beer three: Shiner Bock

      • Don Escaped Texas

        2.5 beers . . . survived the debate

      • DenverJ

        If you haven’t switched to the hard stuff yet, you’re not paying attention.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        notice how I distracted myself by inspecting and rating their watch fobs and boutonnieres

  9. Not an Economist

    I’m going to start the commenting on the Democratic debate — Note I’m have seen it nor will I watch it.

    Donald Trump and the Republicans are evil and are oppressing everybody.

    His supporters are evil.

    The candidates are promising a bunch of stuff and the evil rich will pay for it. This will usher in utopia.

    • Sean

      I’m working on passing out before they start.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      DVR is set. I’ll open my first Boston Lager on the hour. Will watch OAK@STL later.

      • Nephilium

        I think you’d be better served watching the game now, and using the DVR for the debate. Fast forwarding through that could be helpful to your sanity.

    • AlmightyJB

      Best case scenerio

      Ten little Indian boys went out to dine; One choked his little self and then there were nine.
      Nine little Indian boys sat up very late; One overslept himself and then there were eight.
      Eight little Indian boys travelling in Devon; One said he’d stay there and then there were seven.
      Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks; One chopped himself in halves and then there were six.
      Six little Indian boys playing with a hive; A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.
      Five little Indian boys going in for law; One got in Chancery and then there were four.
      Four little Indian boys going out to sea; A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.
      Three little Indian boys walking in the Zoo; A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
      Two little Indian boys sitting in the sun; One got frizzled up and then there was one.
      One little Indian boy left all alone; He went and hanged himself and then there were none.

      • Winston

        Racist!

    • Trigger Hippie

      Oooooh, I forgot that was tonight! Grabbing popcorn and watching Warren squawk away now!

      • Rhywun

        US men’s fútbol is on. Sorry, Dems.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I prefer my unintentional cringe comedy to be political.

    • grrizzly

      LOL. O’Rourke is speaking Mexican.

    • Tonio

      The horror, the horror.

    • DenverJ

      I’m going to start the commenting on the Democratic debate — Note I’m have seen it nor will I watch it.

      Isn’t SOP to turn the volume down and play Dark Side of the Moon, see if it syncs up?

      • banginglc1

        It’d be way to scary.

  10. Spudalicious

    Nice episode!

    Hat is definitely chasing the dragon again. I see a major fatal overdose in a chaotic shit show, followed by Keep America Great hat showing up in the oval. Or KAG Prime knows MAGA Prime is a junkie and has been plying him with a toxic combination of Fentanyl, Rogaine and Viagra.

    • DOOMco

      I feel bad for hat and his demons

    • Rhywun

      I keep seeing Flo the insurance lady.

    • mikey

      This is turning out to be great meme material.
      Reminds of this – one of my favorite pictures of our son.

      http://imgur.com/gallery/LeXjoun

  11. Nephilium

    OT: So, on a whim I went back to check out a blog I used to read on a regular basis. In a twist of fate, it’s still active and there are new posts. If anyone out there is a computer RPG fan, you can check out the CRPG Addict. His original goal was to play through every CRPG (that he could get working) in chronological order. He’s been blogging for over a decade and he’s up to 1992’s Darklands.

    • DenverJ

      Well, I guess it’s more… assured than, say, conquering Asia minor.

      • Nephilium

        I enjoy a lot of nostalgia when he’s talking about games I remember playing.

    • AlmightyJB

      Looks like she needs help getting soaped up, rinsed off, and tucked in.

      • BEAM's not a team player

        Looks like she needs help getting soaped up, rinsed off, and tucked in.

        It is this attitude of selfless, nigh-unto-infinite generosity of spirit that, above all else, keeps me coming back here.  ;-)

      • DenverJ

        Libertarians really are the best people.

    • Lackadaisical

      Have to see the other side before I commit.

      • blackjack

        I don’t. I want to, but don’t really have to.

      • Gustave Lytton

        She’s a solid congressional 10.

    • DenverJ

      Ooh, stinky!

    • MikeS

      Oh wow. She’s even more would than I realized.

  12. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    I go to bed now. Yes, now.

    I hopefully see you lot tomorrow evening.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Wow, the late night warrior us tapping out early. Sleep well.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Godspeed, good Sir!

    • DenverJ

      I know that I’ve gained some weight, but who you calling a lot?

  13. Trigger Hippie

    Another solid effort, CPRM. Did my Patreon payment go through a few weeks ago? I didn’t notice the receipt.

    • CPRM

      Seems to have.

  14. Rebel Scum

    So Beto the Faux Latino is gonna do this whole thing in English AND Spanish. His time just got cut in half.

    • Rhywun

      I would love to be up there and reply in half English, half German.

      • Lackadaisical

        Nazi! !!!

  15. Count Potato

    BREAKING: Beto O’Rourke is from an imaginary country.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      He’s Palestinian?

      • Count Potato

        Ironically, that would be an improvement.

      • Raven Nation

        Australian

  16. DOOMco

    chat is disabled on the nbc stream on youtube.

    Booker lives in a low income area.

  17. Spudalicious

    Daaammmnnn. I didn’t realize until just now that my entire life is controlled by corporations, only more government can bring them to heel, and I apparently live in the American gulag during the dark ages. Think I’ll pour myself another bourbon.

    • Rebel Scum

      I was just thinking… so she supports Republicans trust-busting tech companies??

      • Heroic Mulatto

        *The sound of Tucker Carlson masturbating*

      • DOOMco

        is that different than other people?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Yes.

        Hearing it can make cows give sour milk and kill unbaptized infants.

      • DenverJ

        Wow. I heard the jizz itself can cure diabetes.

    • banginglc1

      They really have a hard on for screwing corporations tonight. . . . at least the ones that don’t think right.

      • DOOMco

        Bernie’s influence reigns supreme.
        Those evvul corporations!

  18. DOOMco

    wAgE gAp!

  19. DOOMco

    isnt’t equal pay already a law?

    • Rhywun

      I hope to hell not.

      My pay is none of the govt’s business.

      • DenverJ

        Hahahahahahahahahahahahawhwhgw! April 15th
        Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahagaga

      • Rhywun

        I mean the magnitude of it as decided between me and my employer, obviously.

      • DenverJ

        Sure. I’m just trolling. 2 more days and I get 3 weeks off, with pay, that doesn’t even count against my official days off. So, i’m a little smartassy right now. It’s gonna be epic: my first summer vacation in 33 years.
        Ima fix this old 96 dodge ram van, 2500, with a 360 that always just fires up and sounds like a lion purring. Steering and suspension are shot, though. Gonna put a badass custom paintjob on it when I’m done, too. Know just the guy.

      • Chafed

        Hopefully the paint job is a half naked woman watching the sunset immediately above the “if this van’s a rockin’ don’t come a knocking” sign.

      • Sean

        Bad ass custom paint job?
        Wizard?
        Dragons?
        A-team style?

        Don’t leave us hanging.

  20. Rebel Scum

    I like Gabbard’s blonde streaks.

    • DOOMco

      I just thought of lois griffin
      “9/11”

    • Gustave Lytton

      “Really! I’m older than 15!”

  21. Rebel Scum

    If de Balsio keeps talking I’m going to be dead of alcohol poisoning….

    Also, “in the wrong hands!” -> Fuck. Off.

    • Rhywun

      LOL he’s still going with that tag-line? What a putz.

  22. grrizzly

    Who is the bald guy?

    • Count Potato

      Black Spartacus?

  23. DOOMco

    didn’t trump raise the earned credit?

  24. banginglc1

    It’s funny watching democrats bash Government Motors

  25. DOOMco

    I dont want an electric car.

    • mikey

      And that matters how?

      • Tundra

        My car has three fuses. I guess that matters,

      • mikey

        Ha! Mine has TWO. One’s 50A

      • Sensei

        No fuses on mine!

      • Sensei

        MOSFET design that measures current and will act as circuit breakers.

        I give Tesla credit. They can’t make a car body for shit compared to established companies, but their thinking on other parts of the is like nothing else.

      • DenverJ

        Hey doom, I got a 96 Dodge van 2500 I just replaced the driver’s side front upper control arm. Beast has a 360. Gas line broke and rusted out driver’s side back frame where leaf springs bolt. Gonna be badass when I’m done with her, but a little scary to drive right now.

      • DOOMco

        all i hear is how much theyre going to push it, i can only assume this means a v8 is going to be banned as soon as it can be done.

      • DenverJ

        Get a V10

      • MikeS

        +2

      • Sean

        I saw a VW Phaeton w12 on the road yesterday. Don’t see too many of those.

    • blackjack

      I work on them and you’re right, you don’t want one.

  26. Don Escaped Texas

    Gabbard is smart in red with gray highlights in her hair.
    Klubochar: black jacket, red top former Tide mom look
    O’Rourke: tie fail, nice blue but overly skinny knot with no dimple, not quite Nixon shadow, untamed eyebrows
    Warren, to borrow from Molly Ivins, looks like everyone’s first wife

    Warren: Who is the economy working for open. Attacks big oil, govt is corrupt, need structural change (whatever that is)

    Klubochar: the economy is not working open, jabs rich kids. CC free! “Secondly I’d double programs” from 6 to $12k. What does that even mean?

    O’Rourke: economy not working for everyone (shock!) switches to Español . . . in English: attacks tax breaks, never answered question about top rate

    • Gustave Lytton

      I miss Gilmore.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        #MeToo

        where did that first beer go?

      • DenverJ

        Yeah, whatever happened to him?

      • Raven Nation

        He’s over at TOS sometimes

      • Don Escaped Texas

        not quite Nixon shadow

        and that red eye: hasn’t slept in a week

  27. Rhywun

    I’m not gonna watch but I hope Warren is pissed at being at the kids’ table.

    • Raven Nation

      I think it was a random draw.

    • DenverJ

      Why? Makes her the adult. She can fight Shoeless Joe after her poll numbers rise.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I laffed

  28. Spudalicious

    I’m glad the word, “corporations” wasn’t my drinking game.

    • DenverJ

      OMG. If my phone breaks because I just spit a drink all over it… well… it’ll still be funny, and what a poor phone case.

  29. DOOMco

    oooh, they’re arguing over medicare for all!

    “we should give everyone medicare for all. for free.”
    hoooly shit.

  30. Don Escaped Texas

    Booker: trying to hold in a fart, sloppy red tie dimpleless knot, blue suit, but not navy

    Booker: corporate mergers lead to less dignity in labor, drug monopoly; Halliburton and Amazon pay no taxes

  31. Don Escaped Texas

    Gabbert: I will take your hard-earned tax dollars

    first truth of the evening

  32. DOOMco

    Not that this is a surprise, but the positive rights train has left the station.

    • Winston

      How long ago was that?

  33. Don Escaped Texas

    de Blasio: worst tie knot ever on national TV, it’s too short for him, so the knot’s short, no dimple; purple could have been pulled off

    • mikey

      Thanks Don. I didn’t think I’d learn anything from all this but this is news we can use. /no sarc

  34. banginglc1

    “My dad was a ________. I’m working class just like you!!!”

    I really don’t care about what your father or mother did for a living. I want to know policies . . well, I did until they stated them. Now I just want them to go away.

    • straffinrun

      very disappoint?

  35. Winston

    Will gabbard be the tallest midget?

  36. Don Escaped Texas

    Delaney plays job creation entrepreneur card.

    Solid knot, solid dimple on a cheap tie that’s blue but too loud.

    • Spudalicious

      Beto has a sharp tie, but he looks like he’s on a high school debate stage.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        His is the least awful of those without a dimple: it’s a long tie, so it fits him, and it doesn’t read cheap.

  37. Spudalicious

    “Reproductive Justice”………..

    • Old Man With Candy

      Does that mean I can bang Rachael Price?

  38. Don Escaped Texas

    Inslee: almost as bad as de Blasio (short knot, barely dimpled)
    loud jacket, weird teal tie, check-dot shirt . . . what a fucking mess

    • Tejicano

      Sounds like he dressed for the clown car they’re all supposed to be riding home in.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        he was hopeless in every regard

        hope he hasn’t spent much on the effort

  39. Rebel Scum

    every state has put in exceptions

    Now do 2A….

  40. banginglc1

    Abortions now! Abortion tomorrow!1 Abortion forever!

  41. Rhywun

    Unions are corporations too, Cory.

    /shit, I flipped over. What a bunch of fucking liars.

  42. Don Escaped Texas

    Ryan: awkward knot, decent dimple, loud bright blues must be in this year

    my tools have been crated up and shipped overseas as well

  43. banginglc1

    Beto: “I don’t want any opiods manufactured ever again! Screw those in pain. I heard someone, somewhere, was using it to have fun!”

  44. Don Escaped Texas

    Klubochar is first to point out that Trump hasn’t delivered something. She and Warren are comfortable; everyone else is desperate.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      Warren is comfortable because it’s been the same sermon for a decade. The others are playing the game; she’s playing her platform.

  45. DOOMco

    This narrator bringing in the immigrants though.
    holy shit stand on those bodies more.

    • banginglc1

      It was fairly pathetic

  46. Rebel Scum

    Define “serious crime”.

  47. Rebel Scum

    So they all speak Spanish now?

    • Suthenboy

      Did you notice skateboard girl? She looked at her crib notes and memorized what he was going to say in Spanish and then just mouthed the words.

      +1 Gert Frobe

    • Don Escaped Texas

      the question asked in Spanish shouldn’t have been translated:

      we’d get to see who has skills

      • Rebel Scum

        Do you trust Google translate?

      • Don Escaped Texas

        ¿ que ?

      • Rhywun

        They asked a question in Spanish? I can’t even with the wokeness.

  48. grrizzly

    Spartacus is speaking Spanish, too.

  49. AlmightyJB

    Damn, you guys are masochist.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Actually, we don’t have TV, so we’re missing the fun, but enjoying the comments.

    • Rhywun

      I flipped over a couple times. I can’t tell any of them apart. OK, Warren and Deblasio are the obvious communists. The rest are just boilerplate DemSocs.

      • banginglc1

        I can’t tell any of them apart. OK, Warren and Deblasio are the obvious communists. The rest are just boilerplate DemSocs. Spanish speaking communists

        FTFY

      • Winston

        The Bolsheviks were part of a “social Democrat labor” party

  50. Old Man With Candy

    WHY AREN’T THEY SPEAKING HEBREW????

    • banginglc1

      Warren speaks American Indian . . . all of it.

      • Plinker762

        How?

    • Heroic Mulatto

      You know why.

      • Pan Zagloba

        Inherent superiority of Yiddish?

  51. Spudalicious

    Aaaaand, Spud’s out. I hit that moment where I went from mocking them to wanting to throw shit at the tv. I’m now watching, “Homestead Rescue”.

    • Suthenboy

      I was overdosing on bullshit less than a minute after putting it on but I am gonna brave it. I also resolved not to say a word, throw anything or scream.

      What a fucking clown show.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        but you must count down your drinks!

        * goes for beer two, Modelo Negra *

      • Suthenboy

        Vodka here so I would die of alcohol poisoning

    • Gustave Lytton

      We’re watching psycho movies, preferably starring bald era Billy Zane, instead. From the comments here, we should be watching the debates instead to really hit psycho.

  52. Rebel Scum

    Drumpf is using the law to justify enforcing the law!

  53. Rebel Scum

    A corporation gave me a job/income/etc. I buy things from other corporations and none of them have a gun to my head.

  54. Don Escaped Texas

    Booker wakes up: passionate, typical Blue, probably sounds pretty good in NJ

    will manage healthcare cawsts

    • Rhywun

      His whole manner is a gigantic turn-off. He looks like a comic-book character.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        He’s a bit big-eyed, but I otherwise don’t mind. Underbites and connected lobes are probably less beautiful.

        I haven’t been beautiful since Reagan, so I let most stuff slide . . . except a lousy tie.

  55. straffinrun

    Beto is whitesplaining to Castro. Good luck with that.

  56. Don Escaped Texas

    Castro has cornered the tranny market.

    Can’t see the tie. Graying temples never hurt.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      At a distance, Castro’s tie reads quite well.

  57. Old Man With Candy

    Are they letting Gabbard speak or are they doing what Team Red did to Rand Paul?

    • Spudalicious

      10 people, 90 minutes. It’s a sound bite debate. The entire world will end unless you vote for a Democrat.

    • banginglc1

      She had one good rant so far. Haven’t heard or seen much else.

    • Rhywun

      It’s the Cory Booker show.

      • Pan Zagloba

        He was my pick before the circus rolled in (with ‘no Biden’ proviso) and was a huge disappointment, so I’m glad to hear he’s making a play.

    • banginglc1

      Her second attempt sounded far too canned to persuade anyone not already agreeing with her. Also, she just talked about how much we need to get back in the the 2015 Iran deal. Which is where she lost any sympathies from me.

      • Count Potato

        #metoo

    • DOOMco

      Eh. Not that bad. Everyone seems to have little time.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      seems like Warren got way more than her share in the first hour

  58. Don Escaped Texas

    Beto has the Bernie rhythm: the jaw thrust punching forward to punctuate words.

    First to check off pot.

  59. banginglc1

    “Prisoners in Guantanamo are treated better that immigrants” – Then why don’t they just start yelling Jihad at the border instead of applying for asylum.

  60. straffinrun

    They’ve all got crazy eyes. “They’ve got babies laying in their own snot…”

    • straffinrun

      Take that back. Not Tulsi. Finally, a sane person talks.

  61. Rebel Scum

    That’s all well and good on your Iran position, Tulsi. But the only situation is the one you are creating in my pants.

    • straffinrun

      She’s super hot from a distance. Take that make up off and the skin is, uh, not quite right.

      • Rebel Scum

        Still would.

      • banginglc1

        yeah, but that’s not saying much

      • Spudalicious

        RS: “Hey, is this mud warm?”?

  62. Don Escaped Texas

    Do you roll the dice on Castro? He seems grown up. Can they turn TX purple +1 for a day if he’s the VP candidate?

  63. Don Escaped Texas

    No one looks good in a double-vented jacked, but that’s pretty much all you can buy.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      and I hate pick stitching as well . . . so plastic pewk

      • Don Escaped Texas

        * looks around quickly *

        but, but it looks great on you !

  64. Rhywun

    Oo, Maddow, Chuck Todd, guns, and climate.

    MUST SEE TV.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      Chuck needs an adult haircut.

      If the control room could just shut up.

      • banginglc1

        “Never trust a man with two first names” <– I have no idea where I heard that, but I think about it every time I head Chuck's name.

      • straffinrun

        It’s a verb in the imperative and a name.

      • egould310

        I think it’s a line from Fletch.

  65. Rebel Scum

    Wow, major fail.

    • banginglc1

      It was the best part so far.

    • Rebel Scum

      But Democrats are not know for their stellar IT.

  66. straffinrun

    There are 100’s of millions of guns on the streets of America? That’s fuckin’ awesome.

    • banginglc1

      All of mine are at the bottom of the lake. 🙁

    • Rebel Scum

      I say we could do better.

      • Count Potato

        I agree, there are millions of children who are still unarmed.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Where? I commute 28+ miles a day and have yet to run across any of those.

      • Rebel Scum

        But how many thousands of concentration camps do you pass on your daily commute?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Two? Public schools, right?

    • LJW

      “There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That’s one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?”

    • Don Escaped Texas

      sensible !

  67. Rebel Scum

    And I see there is an FNC hit-piece Docu-drama in the works. I wonder if they will do CNN or MSDNC.

  68. Rebel Scum

    Shorter: “How do you intend to violate your oath of office before you even get the chance to take it?”

    Conflate adults and government and the roles thereof….

    Muskets are hereby illegal because they are literally weapons of war….

    I can’t keep up with the fallacies and constitutional illegalities…

    But “fight for thuh chillunz”

  69. commodious spittoon

    You know, she could just say Chicago. We know what she means.

  70. Count Potato

    An assault rifle? In NJ?

  71. banginglc1

    Booker on guns: “this is not a policy issue”

    Agreed, Its a human rights and constitutional issue. I don’t know why you want to deprive americans of a human right.

  72. Rebel Scum

    Castro the Real Latino is constantly about to break down in tears. It is very off-putting.

    • grrizzly

      Has he learned Spanish by now? Everybody else has.

  73. Pan Zagloba

    “You can’t kill people because of a movie.”

    “They’re not people, they’re Persians!”

    Emperor Heraclius nods approvingly.

  74. Rebel Scum

    Yes, Beta. Do attempt that “conversation” in Texas. . .

  75. LJW

    Am I the only one watching the gold cup match instead of the “debate”?

    • Rhywun

      No. But the debate seems like more fun.

    • Raven Nation

      Well played Jody!

      • Raven Nation

        Fucking autocorrect

      • Rhywun

        That was a beaut.

    • Nephilium

      Perhaps, I’ve got American Dad! streaming while I sit in a hotel room.

    • whiz

      I was streaming a World Series of Poker final table.

  76. Tonio

    “I share with them what I learned, and then we take their guns away.”

  77. Rhywun

    One of the non-entities just went on about trauma centers in every school, a psychologist for every student or some shit – holy fuck.

  78. banginglc1

    How do these people not realize how popular guns are? Every time Obama spoke about them more people went out and bought their first gun. I even know full on commie libs that like guns.

  79. Tonio

    The Klobuchinator is the only one in a skirt. Lizzie and Tulsi are wearing pantsuits.

    • straffinrun

      Check out The Klob’s eyebrows.

    • straffinrun

      Also, are you sure about that? I haven’t seen a full shot of Julian.

    • Pan Zagloba

      When’s the swimsuit competition?

  80. Rebel Scum

    “Give them the offer to “”by-back”” the property that the government never owned in the first place” is simultaneously “not confiscation”. . .

  81. banginglc1

    Booker: “If you need a license to drive, why don’t you need one to own guns?”

    Agreed, we should get rid of driver’s licenses.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Now, do voting!

      • DOOMco

        That’s different!

    • Don Escaped Texas

      he finished with a nice VP bid

      but I doubt they need him for NJ

  82. Don Escaped Texas

    Beto is the best liar: he’s out of step with 70% of his neighbors, so he plays the game best.

  83. Tonio

    Fuck you de Blasio.

  84. Rebel Scum

    I wonder how long of a montage you would have to make in order to capture every logical fallacy committed during this clown-show debate.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      get your PhD in Democratic Studies

  85. Rhywun

    “My black son” LMFAOROFL

    Oh you be you, Bill

    • straffinrun

      You just knew it was coming. Thinking to yourself every time he speaks, “Don’t do it, don’t do it.” And then it comes. You wince, turn away and throw your hands up.

    • JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      I love my dead gay son.

      • Ted S.

        +1 Tony Dungy

      • hayeksplosives

        I love that movie to this day

  86. banginglc1

    Chuck Todd: ” We have issues” <- – taken out of context, but it's the most accurate statement of the night.

  87. Don Escaped Texas

    deBlasio and Trump go to the same barber

  88. Rebel Scum

    We are a democracy.

    No we aren’t and that assertion alone renders you unfit for office.

    will of the people

    But only when Team Blue wins.

    Damn. She was channeling Lincoln there. In the first hundred days she’ll be imprisoning judges and state legislatures that dare defy her.

  89. Tonio

    Fauxcahontas lectured the hall,
    Fauxcahontas talked very tall,
    But all of her friends on the left and the left,
    Couldn’t take her panties out of her cleft.

  90. banginglc1

    There’s been surprisingly little Trump talk so far . . .I mean there’s been some, but it must not have focus grouped very well to constantly use his name.

    • Spudalicious

      “It’s Trump’s fault” is a given. They don’t need to mention his name.

  91. Lachowsky

    Here’s an example of technology getting too smart for it’s own good-

    Last week, my a/c in my car quit working. At the same time I noticed that there was no longer an outside temperature being displayed on my radio. A little research showed me that the two things were related.

    Anywho, after removing the bumper from my car to access the ambient air temperature sensor, I discovered that a critter of some sort had chewed up the wiring. I soldered the wires back together and everything went back to working as it should.

    My problem is that a faulty air temp switch shouldn’t shut down my a/c unit. This is a new thing that has been added in recent years that is unnecessary and is just another point to fail.

    • banginglc1

      You were supposed to take it to the dealer!

    • CPRM

      Probably to make sure you aren’t using ac at unapproved temps and wasting energy!

      • Don Escaped Texas

        wasting energy!

        yes: if you have a variable compressor, you can tune down the cooling to fit instead of cooling full blast and then re-heating

      • Lachowsky

        Running the a/c at sub freezing temps will cause your A coil to freeze up and is a bad idea.

        That said, no fucking body runs the a/c in their car when its freezing outside.

        The extra safe guard in unnecessary and is nothing but another failure point for a system that doesn’t need it.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        That’s definitely a cut-out when so instrumented.

        That said, no fucking body runs the a/c in their car when its freezing outside.

        You’d be surprised, especially up north and fire apparatus: melting snow in the cab fogs up the windows

      • Lachowsky

        For the entire history of automotive a/c systems, people have managed to not run their a/c when its freezing outside. In the last ten years or so, manufacturers have decided that if the car’s computer doesn’t know what the temperature outside is, then the owner of the vehicle is too stupid to know whether or not it’s appropriate to run the A/C.

        Either everyone is stupid, or the vehicle manufacturer is engineering in a failure point that is unnecessary.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        folks are really stupid; it’s a full-time job

        think about the history of cars, who understood them then and who drives them now; no woman has any idea what you’re talking about and they all drive

      • Nephilium

        /raises hand

        There are times up here in Ohio that you’ll turn on the A/C while the heater is running to be able to defrost the windows while you’re driving.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        especially up north

      • Lachowsky

        In that case, the failure point is counterproductive. If it’s necessary to run the a/c in sub-freezing temps, then this particular engineering solution is double stupid.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        read 40,000 warranty reports and get back to me

      • Nephilium

        Don: Providing some anecdotal support for your position. The worst is when your breath starts frosting up the windows.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I”m the bad guy: did this for 20 years, cars, trucks, graders, skid steer, reefers, Alaska, South Africa, Russia, Australia. You learn, you build, you regret, you build some more. You read and manage the warranty claims on the systems you built five years before.

        First week I was in the business this huge guy who played O-line for Michigan State in the sixties tells me straight up: you can’t predict what folks do; logic has nothing to do with it; you can’t design for what makes sense any more; 60% of folk have no idea how to operate the HVA in their car; I was shocked, but he was right. I’ve said it here before: the easiest thing in the world is to size a motor, engine, or pump, but figuring what people really do and need is the game.

        FWIW: winter test is usually MN; 0°F; there’s a shop in Bemidji I like to work out of, back and forth to International Falls. Cold starts, de-ice, the works . . . and fried walleye. I loved it every year.

      • Lachowsky

        Have a clause in the warranty that doesn’t cover ignorant behavior?

        That’s pretty standard in most warranties I have read.

      • whahappan

        A little late, but most HVAC systems in cars will engage the A/C when in defrost mode to bring down the humidity and reduce fogging.

      • CPRM

        No, I mean if you’re cooling to below 70 you’re wasting energy! Obama said so! So if it’s 70 outside, you’re raping the planet if you use the AC!

    • Tejicano

      After all the trouble the car maker went to coat those wires with a plastic that smells and tastes like candy to small rodents!

      • DrOtto

        They coat the wires in soy oil now instead of petroleum oil, because green and yes, they are now tastier than ever. I just finished splicing 16 wires together on a 48 wire connector yesterday due to hungry rodents. They are bastards.

    • DrOtto

      You must have automatic climate control. Those systems use an outside temp sensor and an inside temp sensor and based on what you ask of the system, it uses the input from both the sensors to decide if it should throw hot or cold at you. My wife had a 2001 Audi product that had the inside sensor fail by reading -40, so the climate control module tried to bring up the inside temp by turning the heat on full, in the summer, in Houston. Did I mention that my wife was pregnant at the time? Good times.

  92. Tonio

    “Executive experience…I haz it.”

    HUD Julian, HUD. Not a real agency. Not actual executive experience. Kthxbai.

  93. Don Escaped Texas

    Todd has asked two reasonable questions.

    He didn’t get reasonable answers, but he did ask.

    • Rebel Scum

      Credit where credit is due.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        where ya from ?

  94. banginglc1

    Why don’t they just turn off the microphone when the candidates time is up?

    • Tonio

      ^This guy.

    • Nephilium

      Why not discharge electricity into the microphone when the time is up? You could even display a big countdown clock. Get the audience to count it down, 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… zap!

      • Tejicano

        The Marine in me was thinking more long the lines of a small charge of C4 in the mike.

  95. Rebel Scum

    Uh oh…He left out everyone else in the alphabet soup of identities.

  96. banginglc1

    Sweet . . Tulsi is good with polygamy!

    Oh . . .that’s not what she meant.

  97. banginglc1

    Booker: “We don’t talk enough about trans people”

    What planet is he living on, that’s all we talk about anymore.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I think he mean we don’t talk enough about Trans-X.

  98. Don Escaped Texas

    textile communities

    and other things that no longer exist, dumber than Trump bringing all the jobs back

    • Raven Nation

      “Dumber than Trump”

      Hey, hey, hey, let’s not go crazy

      • Don Escaped Texas

        if it’s bullshit for the goose . . .

      • dbleagle

        Aren’t “textile communities” only non-nudist towns?

  99. Rebel Scum

    Corey Booker’s eyes are…unnerving. He has that look of a girlfriend that would kill your cat if you crossed her.

    • Spudalicious

      Corey likes bunny rabbits.

      • MikeS

        Hasenpfeffer, to be exact.

    • banginglc1

      Don’t be rediculous . . . He;s like Hillary, he doesn’t get his hands dirty. He hires someone to do it.

      • banginglc1

        ridiculous*

    • Don Escaped Texas

      they read a bit large

      and one points off track a bit

      like I was saying, I ain’t been purty in years, either

  100. Don Escaped Texas

    Are wide lapels back?

    I like ’em middling, but thin is better than yuge.

  101. Don Escaped Texas

    Gabbert held views when she was very young

    That’s not really true: she got on the wagon only recently per Obama playbook

  102. Rhywun

    *flips*

    “You! You’re a minority. How do you respond to Amy’s pandering to minorities?”

    *flips back in disguest*

  103. Tonio

    Tulsi, doing the “auto da fe” for teh gays,
    Corey doing the virtue signaling for transkids,
    The Klobuchinator talking about criminal justice reform,
    Castro blathering about something.

    Honk.

    Honk.

  104. grrizzly

    Castro: cops, shoot to kill white criminals.

  105. straffinrun

    I’m done. All these people on the stage and the only one that doesn’t make my skin crawl is the one that insists slaughtering furriners is wrong. Low bar.

  106. Rebel Scum

    To decide who is best at foreign policy, all candidates should have to participate in an uninterrupted game of RISK.

  107. Don Escaped Texas

    Lester Holt’s suit is flawless. I don’t care for pocket fluff, but he’s doing it right

  108. banginglc1

    The neocons are out in full force . . .finally some passion from Tulsi. But she needs to be a little more aggressive towards these people.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      NewWife called and can hear the screaming in the background.

  109. Don Escaped Texas

    Ryan got punked like a bitch every fucking day at recess

  110. Raphael

    I love you all for making the sacrifice that is watching the debate. I’m stuck in my open office without head phones so I just gotta sulk and read y’all’s play-by-plays.

    • Rebel Scum

      DeBlasio is sticking to ‘Muh Russia’. He is the only one.

      • Raphael

        This makes this tovarich laugh.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Krezy Kin Bando!

      • straffinrun

        By far my favorite Japanese band.

  111. Tonio

    Russia!

    • Rhywun

      I think it’s hilarious even Warren didn’t go there. “Climate change.” *snort*

    • Pan Zagloba

      …svyashchenaya nasha deerzhava…

  112. Rhywun

    “What is the greatest geo-political threat?”

    Down the line. Funniest thing I have ever seen.

    • Rebel Scum

      I wish I was on stage so I could reply “toddlers”.

  113. banginglc1

    What crimes in Mueller’s report? There weren’t any . . .that’s what pissed them all off.

  114. Tonio

    Cincinnatus, Beta? Rilly?

  115. banginglc1

    These people deserve each other.

  116. Rebel Scum

    #LockHimUp ???

    A lot of the things this clown is talking about are things that are also on the radar of the opposition party. Perhaps they should negotiate.

  117. Tonio

    Impeachment ex-post-facto?
    Irrelevant question boyish lesbo.

  118. Don Escaped Texas

    I knew George Washington, and Beto, you’re no George Washington

  119. Tonio

    Dammit, Q, where are you with the tittay linx to tide us through commercials?

    • banginglc1

      Well . . there’s a bunch of boobs on the stage.

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

    • Rebel Scum
      • Tonio

        Nice.

      • MikeS
  120. Don Escaped Texas

    VC went to 50 of 3000 counties: what is the plan on that

    * shudders at the notion of possible answers *

  121. Lachowsky

    I guess the democratic opening debates were tonight. Were they as retarded as I imagine they were?

    I watched vandy win a natty in baseball instead.

    • banginglc1

      10 minutes left . . . tune in to hear the closing statements!

      • Lachowsky

        I thought about it….
        Briefly….

  122. CPRM

    I want you all to write me a 250 word essay on what the best soundbites were from the debate so I can use them. Class dismissed.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      ¡ comprendo !

    • straffinrun

      Sorry. Tapped out. Now I’m watching YouTube premium. “Real Jizz With Thot Adams.”

      • Raphael

        HAWT

    • banginglc1

      I don’t think they used a total of 250 words.

      Debate summed up:
      Corporations=bad
      War=good
      Climate=need more control
      Immigration= Republicans evil

      Repeat in spanish.

    • Lachowsky

      FREE SHIT, FREET SHIT, FREE SHIT.

      TRUMP BAD, TRUMP BAD, TRUMP BAD.

      Not quite 250 words, but extrapolate from there and you can make up the missing words and get the gist well enough.

    • Nephilium

      I feel like stealing from Transmetropolitan now, “You gave me a column that was nothing but the word, ‘Fuck’ repeated over and over.”

  123. Don Escaped Texas

    Gabbard and Booker have the same eye drift

  124. Don Escaped Texas

    Klobuchar smiles like Al Franken

    • CPRM

      Is Franken pulling a Tootsie to get his career back on track?

  125. Tonio

    Wow, Julian, Rilly? You’re like the first – first or second generation immigrant to run for presidente? Oh-effing-lay.

    “I need my legs shaved RIGHT NOW.”

  126. Tonio

    “The urgency of the next generation”

  127. Rebel Scum

    “But I got my chance” = “I lied about my ethnicity to game the system”.

  128. banginglc1

    Should Warren voluntarily bring up how she paid for college?

  129. Rhywun

    Wow, Beto’s really riding that climate train.

    Doom and gloom! Make America slit its wrists again1

    • Rebel Scum

      It’s not “politics of fear” when they do it.

  130. Don Escaped Texas

    final suit rankings
    10 Inslee
    9 de Blasio
    8 Booker
    7 Warren
    6 Ryan
    5 Delaney
    4 Klubochar
    3 O’Rourke
    2 Gabbert
    1 Castro

  131. SugarFree

    Klobucher looks like she has an apple up her ass.

    Warren is a methed up mummy.

    On my TV, at least, the lighting for the Booker close-ups make him look hella white.

    • Rhywun

      He is very pale. Not very “authentic” either.

      • SugarFree

        I’m about 70% sure Inslee has had stroke or suffers from Bell’s Palsy.

  132. Don Escaped Texas

    people you will never hear from again
    Inslee
    de Blasio
    Ryan
    Delaney

    • Plinker762

      I wish I would never hear from Inslee again but WA is stuck with him for a while.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Steve Cohen is my cross to bear; top that !

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I wish Deblasio would stay away too.

  133. SugarFree

    Castro looks like a haunted doll come horribly to life.

    • Rhywun

      Those earlobes are enough to make to crawl into a closet and bar the door.

      • SugarFree

        The only person he is taller than is Warren. (Although she and Klobucher are both in heels.) Imagine a debate between Shrimpy Pibbles and Trump. Donald might pick him up and just carry him around.

    • CPRM

      I can run with that if he goes far enough. Some faint lines to evoke a dummy.

      • SugarFree

        Buttons for eyes…

      • CPRM

        Huh, have not, which makes it all the more stunning I created this with no prior knowledge of that cover art.

      • SugarFree

        That’s a great moment of cultural osmosis.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Which one is Castro?

      • SugarFree

        The shortest guy. The one that wants to make sure transmen can get abortions.

      • grrizzly

        Actually, transmen can get abortions because they are female by birth. Castro said transwomen!

      • SugarFree

        I just realized that. This is such a great timeline!

  134. Suthenboy

    I will be president before any of this gaggle of half-wits. The mendacity and insincerity is off the charts. The stupid ideas are legion.

    Trump will be re-elected like the sun will come up. He is going to demolish their bullshit.

    Green new deal my ass. No gasoline or airplanes? Abolish hot dogs? Really? Open borders? Not a chance. Fascist control over ever aspect of the economy? Right. FREEEEEEEEE SHITTTTT! Uh huh.

    Vote Suthenboy for president. *tips hat to Almanian* I gotchur back brother. I hope you are sitting on a cloud playing Yaketty Sax and laughing your ass off.

    • Gustave Lytton

      *pours ballot box out on ground in memoriam*

    • MikeS

      The double-down on the lurch to the left is pretty amazing to watch. Trump would have to seriously fuck something up to lose to any of the 24 morons running.

      • Gustave Lytton

        So you’re saying we’re screwed?

    • Raphael

      Just wait till tomorrow when the A Team shows up. We got MORE FUN coming ahead.

    • Count Potato

      Scary White Boy 2020

  135. Ownbestenemy

    Im not watching…can i just tell my kids that they will have anything and everything…given by their grandpapi government? Did i get the debates right?

  136. SugarFree

    Just imagine having to listen to President Elizabeth Warren for 4 to 8 years. I’m not sure she is capable of not sounding like a nag.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      She’s not hard on the progressive ear and has the game down. She will make the final three, so we’ll be stuck with her for the full 17 months.

      • SugarFree

        True, but man, that nagging used Subaru voice is killing me.

      • Tejicano

        I would have sworn you wrote “…for the full 17 moons.”

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Warren’s not having moons any more

  137. SugarFree

    I didn’t realize this until I saw the transcript:

    “I don’t just believe in reproductive freedom, I believe in reproductive justice,” Castro said. “And what that means is just because a woman or—let’s also not forget someone in the trans community, a trans female—is poor, doesn’t mean they don’t have the right to exercise that right to choose.”

    A trans female is a biological male. Castro wants to make sure people who have never had a uterus can get an abortion.

    • Rhywun

      A trans female is a biological male.

      I’m not convinced the lingo is settled.

      When I hear that, I have *no idea* what the biological sex is.

      • SugarFree

        The woke crowd would never refer to a biological female as a trans female. A trans female is someone born with a penis.

        I’m sure it was just a gaffe, but is still funny.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Is it a gaffe-gaffe where the wokesters come with their pitchforks or do we think it will go unpunished?

      • commodious spittoon

        the slot

        *chokes on drink*

      • Rhywun

        He’s sealed up that 0.01% of the vote!

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Uteruses are a social construct. Literally everything is a social construct, except things that actually are social constructs and ill defined like race. Come to think of it, my comment is a social construct.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Something something there is no Truth…

        Honestly postmodernism is just tedious.

    • Suthenboy

      Beeble brooogle bloop peeda plop greela blop dreeble doo. Wheeee!

      Totally gonna own Trump.

    • CPRM

      Wait, are you against that? Fucking transphobe!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Correct answer: Its not government’s business. If there is a provider in your area they will perform whatever procedures you want if you have the finances to do so.

    • Raphael

      *hears the cries of all the unemployed parody writers*

      • Don Escaped Texas

        you keep getting funnier this past year

  138. IntraveneousWoodChipper

    That was a collection of some of the most unattractive, nagging scolds (sans Tulsi – dayum girl!) I have ever seen. The cameras did them no favors tonight. Booker looks like a goddamn serial killer!

    And the desperate pandering by speaking canned Spanish lines was so cringeworthy.

  139. SugarFree

    Castro smiles at inappropriate times while speaking. It’s creepy.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      Also noticed that. Doesn’t help that he looks like a reanimated corpse as well

    • straffinrun

      Been there and done that. On purpose. My guess is that so have you.

  140. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    I need a cigarette after watching Tulsi’s performance. She put that bitch Ryan in his place. What a tiger

    • SugarFree

      The skunk stripe is fantastic.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        It’s great.

        Now she’s gotta wear it a few weeks or it will seem plastic.

      • SugarFree

        She’s had it for a while. I think it is just a real streak of grey. I’ve seen it in the wild a couple times.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        approved

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      I came away convinced tonight that she is a legitimate smokeshow.

      Then they cut to Warren….*gags*

      • SugarFree

        Saltpeter in purple.

      • Count Potato

        It reminded me of the Joker.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        If your erection lasts more than two hours after watching Tulsi debate consult a picture of Elizabeth Warren

      • Don Escaped Texas

        brilliant

    • Lachowsky

      I didnt watch, but I imagine her talking foreign policy was the only thing worth listening to in the whole charade.

      • CPRM

        You don’t talk in charades!

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I guarantee that Malice or Woods or Rockwell or Ron Paul will be posting clips of her performance tomorrow. Reason already did an article praising her singular focus on foreign policy during the debate.

      • Lachowsky

        I’d image dave smith will as well.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Yup, all the usual suspects. If she gains ground in the Democratic primary, the Trump camp is going to rightly panic. She’ll eat into his base

      • Don Escaped Texas

        fuck her; she was born in Kenya

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        STOP. I can only get so hard

      • Lachowsky

        And, good for reason. For a libertarian outfit, they sure seem to shy away from war issue far more often than they should.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        That’s really at the heart of the split, though they’ll never admit it. The Kochs have always been wishy washy on the war issue.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      I didn’t notice if her assault rifle ban position came up.

      Gabbard did sign up to co-sponsor the bill on Wednesday, a spokesman for Cicilline’s office told HuffPost. The spokesman did not know what time Gabbard had requested to co-sponsor the bill. . . Rep. David Cicilline (D-R.I.) introduced the Assault Weapons Ban bill on Monday. His bill would ban the sale, transfer, possession, production and import of a number of semiautomatic rifles and pistols, semiautomatic shotguns with military features and ammunition-feeding devices that can accept more than 10 rounds.

      • Lachowsky

        Yeah. She is typical Democrat and horrible on everything, except war. As best I can tell all the Democrats are carbon copies of one another except Tulsi. She spouts all the typical democratic talking points aside from the war issue.

        In that narrow issue she is better than trump or anyone else.

        “War is the health of the state”

        If you desire, as I do, to shrink the state, then ending the wars is the first step in that direction. As long as the state is engaged in wars all around the world, then there is no prospect for shrinking its size, scope, or cost.

      • CPRM

        Eh, for now the military is voluntary. The rest of the shit isn’t.

      • Lachowsky

        Paying for the military is anything but voluntary.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        +1 Thoreau

      • CPRM

        Well, see that comes under the larger umbrella of spending, and how it’s funded, which I think are 1 and 1.1. The actual idea of war comes further down my list.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        And the objective of our wars in the Middle East (propping up the dollar) allows for our out of control domestic spending. It’s all intertwined. Empires do not have citizens- they have subjects

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Randolph Bourne

        A quote that strikes at the heart of the matter

      • Don Escaped Texas

        ending the wars is the first step

        it’s certainly an important step; I don’t know if it’s first, but I take your point

        In my circles they guys don’t regret VietNam, and they don’t think other Asian adventures are a big deal. In a way it’s not my place to care more about them as veteran more than they care about themselves and their latter day counterparts.

        But I have not ever seen a commander in chief yet I would happily invest my son in.

      • Lachowsky

        Every time the United states has engaged in war, the state has expanded.

        The first income tax came during the civil war.

        Progressive era imperialism made the tax permanent.

        The patriot act was a war time time measure that is now permanent.

        The military industrial complex of which eisenhower warned was born of war and continues to be a leech on our economy and the morality of America’s position in the world.

        The marriage of health insurance and employment (which is the root cause of the health care affordability problem we have today) was a response to ww2 era price controls.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        oh, that’s all true but not my point

        on the barrel head, dismantling Medicare is twice the bang as eliminating the DoD

        how a dragon is born and how it is killed are different vectors

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        There would be no Medicare if it wasn’t for the need to pacify the poors in order to send them to the slaughter in Vietnam. Opponents of the New Deal understood this and that’s why they all opposed entry into World War II to begin with.

        Even if we pretended that you could shrink the state domestically while still waging endless war overseas, it’s hard to argue against the notion that the most offensive act undertaken by big government is murdering people overseas in countries that most Americans can’t identify on a map for abstract reasons that have nothing to do with national defense

      • Don Escaped Texas

        show of hands, which one of you idiots wants to start a war— elizabeth bruenig (@ebruenig) June 27, 2019

      • DOOMco

        Why can’t anyone leave the guns out of it.

  141. IntraveneousWoodChipper

    What was the percentage of nitwits on stage who have never held an actual job, do we think? I know its not so but the only way I can imagine them saying half the looney-tunes bullshit they spout and creaming their pants thinking of taking away people’s money is that they are people who have never worked for a living themselves.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      Delaney can probably drive a nail.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      First reply on Trump’s twitter feed is a picture of the dad who caused his daughter to drown in the Rio Grande:

      “Eugene Gu, MD
      @eugenegu
      ·
      2h
      Replying to
      @realDonaldTrump
      This is the picture of Oscar Alberto Martinez Ramirez and his 23-month-old daughter Valeria Ramirez. They are talking about it right now during the #DemDebate and you, Mr. President, are responsible for their deaths. This is inhumane and a stain on our country.”

      Sigh.

      • CPRM

        Is Trump supposed to teach swimming lessons now?

      • Gustave Lytton

        If I woke up in a hospital and Gu was treating me, I’d just pull my own plug right there.

      • CPRM

        And you’d try your damndest to get the heart monitor play an S-Club 7 song as you faded away.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Don’t Stop Movin or Say Goodbye?

      • CPRM

        Everybody Wants Ya, to let the spouse know if it’s ok to move on.

      • Rhywun

        Seems to me – I mean, if we’re removing individual agency here – it’s more the fault of Congress blocking funds to speed up asylum processing. And/or changing the laws to allow open borders.

        What say you, Dr. Gu?

      • Chafed

        Stop assaulting me with facts and logic!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Congress/Media: you must seek approval!

        President: I ask you to do this

        Congress/media: we will not fund it

        President: its on you then

        Congess/media: you arent doing enough!

    • CPRM

      Huh. The Hat must be passed out already and Donald had to handle the Tweeting alone.

  142. Urthona

    Really disappointed Beto wasn’t standing on the podium. I think Booker had an “oh captain my captain moment all prepared”.

    • Rhywun

      Beto’s “emoting” over “climate change” was possibly the fakest thing all night. Well, of the grand total 7 or 8 minutes I saw.

      Oh, and Deblasio’s “Russia!”

  143. straffinrun

    It’s over? A year and a half more of this. My favorite hot take on this is some LGBTQ+ person on the teevee complaining that the candidates are simply pandering to get their votes. If they follow through on their promises of free shit and special protections, it’s not pandering anymore?

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      A year and a half. Christ.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        And to your point literally all of them openly and obsequiously pandered to some voting block tonight. It was pathetic and repulsive just how blatantly they competed to lick the most boots.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        2 Corinthians

      • straffinrun

        Yep. One of them says something about protecting trannies and Booker jumps in with, “Not just trannies, but black trannies especially!”

      • Rhywun

        What about brown trannies?

      • straffinrun

        I don’t know the pecker order.

      • Rhywun

        ?

      • JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        Manual trannies are hard to find these days and should be protected.

    • Rhywun

      If they follow through on their promises of free shit and special protections

      It’s almost like they know it’s bullshit.

  144. Don Escaped Texas

    according to this one tulsi gabbard won. these google trends don’t mean anything. pic.twitter.com/1CzzxI9gUv— Michele Riotta (@mriotta) June 27, 2019

    TW: google map

    • CPRM

      Well, that Tulsi one left out the part of the search that matters to internet ‘nude’

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I learned something tonight

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        True

      • Gustave Lytton

        I also ‘surfing’

    • Rhywun

      LOL Oklahoma is like “What? She was born here? GTFO.”

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        I am from OK and the “I’m going to drink a beer fellow kids” moment just floored me. Say what you will about the state but people here know how to drink a goddam beer, lady!

      • CPRM

        Even though, he’s from cali, and not an okie from muskogee. SHHH.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      I just came again

      • Chafed

        Better pace yourself.

  145. Gustave Lytton

    Tulsi’s papa:

    In 1995, Gabbard founded the nonprofit Stop Promoting Homosexuality America

    She’s not going anywhere. Oh wait, he switched parties. It was an evil Rethuglican doing that. Gabbard Sr-D worked to ban sunscreen and other good causes. Banning sunscreen in HI. smh.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Second para shouldn’t be a blockquote.

    • CPRM

      She’s already followed Obama and ‘evolved’ on the issue.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I had that !

        Don Escaped Texas
        Gabbert held views when she was very young
        That’s not really true: she got on the wagon only recently per Obama playbook

  146. Don Escaped Texas

    BETO: I speak Spanish.BOOKER: I can't believe you did my thing before me.DE BLASIO: I have a black son.BOOKER: I'm actually black tho, Bill.KLOBUCHAR: …Um, I have an uncle with a deer stand?WARREN: *don't say it, don't say it*— Jason Howerton (@jason_howerton) June 27, 2019

    • CPRM

      Tango un gato en mis pantolones.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      “Um…I have an uncle with a deer stand” LOL

  147. DOOMco

    Well this looks like a dumpster fire

    • Rhywun

      Wait until tomorrow night.

    • CPRM

      Thanks for commenting on my cartoon. I’m sorry you feel that way about my cartoon…

      • straffinrun

        BTW. Honestly, good stuff. Thanks.

      • CPRM

        Stop patronizing me! *runs away crying*

      • DOOMco

        Oh would you look at that, there’s an article up there.

        Sorry we hijacked it.

        I did like it

      • CPRM

        No worries. Just taking a comic jab.

  148. Don Escaped Texas

    My mortgage identifies as a student loan.— Andy Swan (@AndySwan) June 25, 2019

    • Lachowsky

      I dont have any student loan debt and I paid off my mortgage a few years ago. Can I just get a big fat check from the state for my vote.

      Why wont anybody pander to me?

      • Rhywun

        LOL you don’t check a single box, do you?

      • CPRM

        child, he’s still getting his nose candy via the code.

      • CPRM

        I live on the skeevee margins of gaming the system on both counts, so no comment. *Puts jacket over head leaving court room*

    • Rhywun

      #AllLoansMatter

      *snort*

    • Raphael

      I like the cut of Mr. Swan’s gib.

  149. Don Escaped Texas

    Total speaking time during #DemDebate:
    • C. Booker: 10:58
    • B. O’Rourke: 10:04
    • E. Warren: 09:20
    • A. Klobuchar: 08:27
    • J. Castro: 08:13
    • T. Ryan: 07:12
    • T. Gabbard: 06:24
    • J. Delaney: 06:24
    • B. DeBlasio: 05:30
    • J. Inslee: 04:57 https://t.co/Cms96j3xDz— Frank Luntz (@FrankLuntz) June 27, 2019

  150. Don Escaped Texas

    say “goodnight,” Gracie

    • CPRM

      That is a sexist joke! Burn Don!!

  151. Chafed

    Looks like I picked the wrong night to work late. I’m comforted knowing if any of these fine candidates win then I’m going to get a lot of free stuff.

    *Looks in mirror. Sees self-employed, married, middle aged, white man*

    I’m fucked.

    • CPRM

      Yeah, half my income is self-employment, and finding ways to not pay taxes on a net income below the poverty line gets harder and harder. They really want me on the doll.

      • Chafed

        They’re giving you a Real Doll®? I may rethink my opposition.

      • CPRM

        This cover art was the first time this Catholic midwestern boy saw a Real Doll, took me a long while to figure out what it was.

  152. CPRM

    Sir Digby has an article tomorrow night on my Redbubble store, make sure to check that out.

    • Chafed

      What happened that he commented all day but went to bed at night?

      • Rhywun

        Maybe he’s got a split-shift job. Or as I remember it when I had one, “hell”.

      • Chafed

        I don’t think so. I’m almost certain he works 10-6. But maybe something unusual is going on at his job so he had to go in at a different time.

        FWIW, I had one, sort of, split shift job. That was no fun.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, one job I had was Tue/Wed/Thu evenings and Fri/Sat overnights. It was the one job I had for the entirely of the year I lived in San Francisco.

      • CPRM

        Ha, at least that’s regular. Last week I came in at 10pm Monday and Tuesday, 5pm Wednesday, 6am Friday and 5am Saturday. This week I’m off the whole week except Friday when I come in 6am.

      • Rhywun

        Ouch.

        Yeah, the only variation was when a “senior” decided they wanted my hours. Yay unions.

      • CPRM

        He changes his pattern when he has weekends off, so I’m guessing that’s it.

      • Chafed

        His weekend is Friday – Saturday.

      • CPRM

        I’m talking about a couple weeks ago when he had a long weekend, he did a time shift. You just sound like a stalker now.

      • Chafed

        That’s tough to do from two time zones away. I just pay attention to what he said.

      • CPRM

        Ah, just read an email from him, he took an extra day off, DMV for Driver’s License. Will be covered in his second article he claims.

      • CPRM

        To whit, knowing the subject matter, L OH Fucking L.

  153. Chafed

    I’ll believe the Dems care about race when they play this as their intro:

    https://youtu.be/hlk7o5T56iw

  154. Rhywun

    OK, after all of you have “finished” with Tulsi, would you care to explain her insistence that we need to go back to bribing Iran with stacks of cash so they supposedly stop developing a bomb? I’m no foreign policy guru but it seems to me they’re gonna pursue it regardless of our wishes, absent, well, you know.

    • CPRM

      BUT NO WAR!!!

      • Rhywun

        That’s great. I’d rather not deal with them at all.

      • CPRM

        Yeah, that whole trade with all, no entanglements thing is just fantasy. EXPERTS SAY SO!

    • Chafed

      She has the antiwar thing down. Hence Tulsi Gabbard Apologist’s repeated orgasms tonight. Beyond that she is standard issue modern Democrat. Obama bribed them so it was good. Trump is sanctioning them so it is bad.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Seems like if Iran were developing a nuclear weapon that would be a concern for countries located somewhere near Iran, not so much a country located thousands of miles away across the sea

      • CPRM

        But yet you’re cumming all over her because she’s ‘anti-war’ when one of her stances is ‘pay them off like Obama done’, which doesn’t jive with the rest.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        They’ve already been paid back the money that we seized after the hostage crisis

      • CPRM

        But, that ain’t Tulsi’s reckoning.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Also, another nice video. You do good work. It’s nice how you have a quick turnaround on these videos so they are topical

      • CPRM

        Yeah, I don’t think the tech was there for me to have done this before Trump. If I took the site out of the pipeline and had a cartoon I really wanted to make I could have it up within an hour (in this style anyways, since I’m not animating movement) hence why I felt kismet when this site formed and I wanted to do the cartoon. I’ve tried to produce cartoons before and less than a decade ago the things this software can do were unfathomable.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Technology and Trump have been a boon for parody. It’s too bad that corporate media fails at understanding how to parody a man who should be an endless source of laughter rather than spiteful applause

      • Winston

        Come on there is SNL and Seth Myers, Jon Oliver and Stephen Colbert!

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, and the fact we have our dick in many of the countries located somewhere near Iran is a big problem too. IMHO.

      • Chafed

        I think it is more complicated than that. They have medium range missiles. If they get a nuke then most of Europe would be within range.

        They have exchanged missile technology with North Korea. They are working to bring us in range.

        They are a theocracy. I’m not persuaded self-preservation is the top priority of all their leaders.

        None of this means I support starting another war. It does those who are concerned have a reason to be.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        What if the actions of America’s adversaries were rational and motivated by self preservation? How would there actions be any different?

        I’m not going to defend the honor of the Iranian regime, but I find it hard to believe that such a regime poses a national security threat to us. If the Europeans felt threatened by the Iranians then wouldn’t they be in agreement with us about sanctioning Iran? And if they are a threat to Europe and Europe is unwilling to defend against such a threat than why should we?

      • straffinrun

        When was the last time Iran launched an offensive war?

      • Chafed

        I think they did so in Syria against ISIS. But more to your point, they do little under their own flag. They do plenty through their proxies (Hamas, Hezbollah, Houthis) and Iranian intelligence has launched attacks in other nations.

      • straffinrun

        They’re no angels. And they’ve been fucked with repeatedly by the US. Not a straightforward good guy/bad guy scenario. After seeing Iraq, Libya and Syria, the US hasn’t instilled confidence that what they’ll do will make things better.

    • Rhywun

      De Blasio and Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren were the only two candidates on the stage who raised their hands to say they would give up their private health care for government-run health care Wednesday night.

      That is one of the few moments I did see – and that is NOT what they said. They said they would elininate YOUR private health care.

      Bit of a difference.

      • CPRM

        You say tomato, they say caviar, same diff.

      • Rhywun

        If You Like Your Doctor You Can Keep Your Doctor II: Medical Boogaloo

    • Raphael

      Christ, what an asshole.

    • CPRM

      and (((they))) ran away with all the gold.

      FIXED

      • straffinrun

        Greenspan, Bernanke, Yellin… At least we have Mises, Rothbard, Friedman to even shit out.

    • Raphael

      Ha, guy would’ve gotten booed to hell if he had the guts to call them out.

  155. Winston

    So what is more important: war, free trade or laissez-faire? Many people have had differing issues on these three issues. Wilson was a free-trader, Lincoln was a protectionist, Tucker Carlson is antiwar, etc.

    • CPRM

      Wilson was a free-trader

      Which Wilson was that?

      • Winston

        Woodrow. Yes really…

      • CPRM

        , re-established a federal income tax in the United States and substantially lowered tariff rates.

        Does not equal free trade.

      • Winston

        By that definition there are almost no actual free-traders….

      • Winston

        Also calling Trump anti-free trade when there is no free trade is…interesting…

      • CPRM

        Not in government.

      • CPRM

        When did I say Trump was free trade? Last I checked I make these here cartoons, I don’t remember any on the subject of free trade.

      • Winston

        No I meant that all the articles on I read critiquing his trade policy seem to imply that “Free trade” existed before Trump/

  156. CPRM

    Ok, I gotta flip the sleep schedule for a Friday morning shift, so I should call it a night.

  157. straffinrun

    Hotep Jesus on Rogan. This ought to be entertaining.

    • Sean

      LOL