“What are we doing second?” his wife asked again.
“Can you give me a minute, sweetheart?” he asked from behind the tree.
“We need to get going,” she said. Their dogs ran around her excitedly barking as she cleaned the last dishes of breakfast in the stream they had camped near.
“I know that,” he said. “Goddamn redneck chili. It’s like I’m shitting barbed wire.”
“I told you not to eat that,” she said smugly.
“And fire ants. Like barbed wire coated in fire ants,” he gasped. The small white dog, Rufus, ran to the sound of his voice. His short legs and tiny feet skidded to a halt when he got around the tree, and then he ran off with a startled yelp.
“What did you do to Rufus?” she asked.
“Will you just give me a minute?!?” he yelled. “Lava is literally coming out of my asshole right now!”
“Come here, baby,” she said to the small dog cowering beside her. “Did Daddy scare you? Did he? He’s a very bad Daddy.” She picked Rufus up and he shivered in her arms as she cooed and clucked. Their new dog, large and black-furred and seemingly quite slow continued to chase his own tail until he hit the side of the car, sat down suddenly, and looked around confused.
“Is there more toilet paper?” he asked.
“No,” she said, not checking.
“Paper towels? Napkin?”
“I’ll look.”
“An old T-shirt? One of the floor mats? Anything?”
She slung Rufus under one arm and looked through the car. “Hold on,” she called.
“Hurry!”
As she walked toward the shitting tree with the paper towels, Rufus began to growl.
“Dear God!” she said.
“I know!”
“The human body shouldn’t be capable of making a smell like that!” She tossed the paper towels toward him and fled to the safety of the car.
“What are we going to name this dog?” she finally asked, when his tortured groans had subsided.
He walked back to the car, not answering her, staggering and carrying empty paper towel tube.
“Honey, what are we going to name this dog?” The nameless dog was laying his head in her lap and his tongue lolled out as she rubbed his ears. Her husband opened the back hatch and began to rummage around.
“What are you looking for?” she asked.
“I’ll find it,” he said.
“Just tell me, maybe I know where it is.”
“The camping shovel. The folding one that we just bought.”
“I don’t know where that is,” she said. “What do you need the shovel for? Oh, wait. You are going to bury your waste? Very environmentally responsible.”
“Ah-ha!’ he said. She angled the rearview mirror to see him holding the shovel up in triumph.
“First, I’m going back there and beat it to death,” he said. “And then I will bury it!”
When he returned, she saw him fling the folding shovel into the rushing stream. “We’ll buy a new one,” he said grimly as he settled into the driver’s seat.
“I’m having a great time,” she said, resting her head against his shoulder.
“I hate camping,” he replied. The Subaru quietly came to life when he turned the key.
“What do you want to do next?” she asked.
“I want to take a shower. A very long shower.”
“I mean with the car. We can do anything!”
“Let’s ask it,” he said, as his wife attached the dogs’ harnesses to the back seat.
“Ask it?”
He touched the navigation icon a bland female voice said, “Destination?”
“Random,” he said.
“I’m sorry. I’m afraid I don’t understand,” the car replied.
“Take us somewhere fun!” his wife said.
“Take us on an adventure!” her husband said.
“I’m sorry. I’m afraid I don’t understand,” the car replied.
“Destination,” it repeated as they thought.
“Take us somewhere we haven’t been before,” his wife said.
The car paused. They looked at the touchscreen display. One of the dogs growled and farted.
“Please fasten your seatbelts and proceed east 2.3 kilometers.”
“Alright,” he said.
After a right and a left and a dirt road that was barely a road, the car finally had them take a state road in reasonably good repair.
“I wonder where we are going,” his wife asked, finally awake. He had long marveled at her ability to sleep anywhere, under any condition.
“Proceed north 23 kilometers,” the car said.
“North 23 kilometers,” he replied and she gently punched his arm.
“Are you two OK back there?” she asked, turning round to look at the dogs. They both whined agreeably and thumped their tails on the seat.
“Do you want me to drive for a while?” she asked.
“No, I’m fine for a couple of hours at least. I wouldn’t mind finding somewhere to get an energy drink.”
“You shouldn’t use those,” his wife said.
“I don’t use them; they aren’t a drug. You talk like I’m looking to freebase some meth.”
“We are in meth country, though. I bet the whole rusty water tower that old man tried to lure us to was one big meth lab,” she said, using both hands to sketch out a mushroom cloud and then made explosion noises with her mouth.
“Increase speed to 100kph,” the car said primly.
“What did she say?” his wife asked.
“Increase speed to 100kph,” the car said again.
“I guess we are on a schedule,” her husband said. He pressed the accelerator until they reached 90kph.
“Increase speed to 100kph,” the car said again.
“Picky bitch,” his wife said and they laughed.
The Subaru began to ping like a door was ajar.
“OK, OK… nagged by a damn car,” he said.
“‘Nagging’ is a sexist term,” his wife said and then burst into giggles. “You better do what she says.”
He took the car up to 100kph.”I hope the car knows what it is doing. This is racist-as-fuck country around here. I’m not interested in getting ass-fucked by a baton.”
“I’ll sic the dogs on them,” his wife said brightly.
She whipped her head around as they passed a speed limit sign. “You better slow down, baby. That said it is 45mph through here.”
“What is that in kilometers?” he asked.
“How should I know?”
“You were the one that wanted us to set the car to only read out in metric. The car says the outside temp is 22. Do I need a coat? Sunscreen? I don’t fucking know.”
She was caught in another fit of giggles.
“Car, what is 45 miles per hour in kilometers per hour?” he asked loudly and with careful pronunciation.
“Car?” she asked. “Don’t call her car. Her name is Subi.”
“What?”
“Subi, how fast are we going in miles per hour?” she asked.
“Wait, is it even voice-activated?” he asked. “I was acting like it was Alexa.”
“We are currently traveling at 62 miles per hour,” the car said.
“OK, you really should slow down,” his wife said.
He took his foot off the gas and the car began to slow. “The cracker sheriff is going to be so disappointed in us.” But he only heard a gurgle in return.
“Please increased speed to 100kph,” the car said and began to ping.
He was looking at the touch screen when his wife began to claw at his arm.
“What is it?” he asked, not looking.
“Gurk,” she managed. The seatbelt had tightened across her throat and lap. With her right had she tried to pull it away from her neck, with her left she had gone back to trying to work the belt release.
“Oh, my god, what is happening, ohmygod,” he said, pressing the brakes and trying to pull onto the soft shoulder of the state highway.
“Please increase speed to 100kph,” the car said again. The dogs in the back began to bark and howl.
As he slowed on the shoulder a huge truck rumbled past them. The car rocked back and forth. He had slowed enough to grab the higher portion of the seat belt and pull it away from her neck. He could not move it. He looked into her frightened, darting eyes and the whites were turning red.
“Please increase speed to 100kph,” the car said again, this time at a deafening volume.
She began to desperately slap at his right knee. The dogs were in a frenzy, making pained yelps as they pulled at their restraints.
“Drive,” she mouthed and slapped his knee again. Her teeth were very white and large as she screamed without any sound.
“Please increase speed to 100kph,” the car said again. It was now an almost seductive lilt.
He closed his eyes tightly for a second, his whole face crunching down onto itself and jammed the gas pedal down. The car shot forward and he heard his wife take a gulp of air and cough and then gulp more. The speedometer crept upward. Her breathing became steady and regular.
“Are you OK? Are you? Are you OK?” he said, among a dozen other inanities until she finally croaked and swallowed and said in a hoarse whisper, “What was that?”
“Take it off, take off the seatbelt,” he told her. The dogs were huddled in the back seat, twined around each other, fast-friends now in their worry and confusion.
“Proceed north 7.2 kilometers,” the car said.
“FUCK YOU!” he screamed at the placid voice. He tried the seat belt release himself but his thumb just sank into the button of the mechanism without it releasing.
“Maintain current speed,” the car ordered.
The road ahead was flat and straight and empty of cars before and behind, so he held the wheel with his knee and tried to pull on his wife’s seat belt. His own seat belt tightened and pulled him back in place.
“Please drive responsibly,” the car said.
“Get your arms under it,” he told his wife. “Under it while it is slack.” She stopped rubbed the raw flesh on the side of her neck and slipped her right arm under the belt and held it against her neck. The belt tightened immediately, painfully. She cried out, her voice broken and dry.
“It’s breaking my wrist,” she gasped. “The belt.” The voice was cut off as her wrist began to crush her throat.
He looked down and saw how the strap of nylon across her lap had tightened as well. Her jeans darkened as she voided her bladder, the stain spreading down her thighs.
“Please drive responsibly,” the car said again.
He looked back to the road. They were coming up on a town. A little flyspeck town, country town, the whole thing was a tumor clustered on both sides of the little state highway. He saw out of the corner of his eye that the strap had loosened enough for his wife to drop her arms. The hot smell of her urine filled the car. When he tried to roll down the window, the button didn’t work. He listened as his wife cried and watched the tiny town grow larger.
“Proceed north 1.2 kilometers,” the car said. His wife’s left hand found his arm and clung to it.
A “Welcome to” sign flashed by too fast for him to register the name. A sick feeling crept into his stomach, like a light hit to the testicles. He felt like he was falling and falling and falling.
“Stay in lane,” the car said as soon as he saw her crossing the road. He tensed his hands and forearms to swerve at the last second until he heard his wife already choking and gurgling.
He closed his eye right before he hit the woman that was crossing the road. A dull thud and a cracking noise. The dogs in the back yelped. He opened his eyes to eye the smear of blood on the hood. His flicked to the rearview mirror to see the crumpled form in the crosswalk.
“Lower speed and take the next right,” the car said. He was crying, fat tears running down his face. His wife’s eyes were red again when he chanced a glance.
“Take next right.”
He did and then tried to steer them into a light pole but the wheel wouldn’t move.
“Take next right.”
The wheel turned easily when he did as he was told. They were two blocks from the dead woman in the road. People were clustered around her, some talking to her, he imagined, the others he could see were on the phone or gesticulating wildly.
“Accelerate to 100kph,” the car whispered.
THE END
That’s Jimbo’s car with all the stickers. You can tell it’s his because the bike is missing.
The stickers are the only thing holding the car together!
Wonder Dog sighting?
So THAT’S how she got that ring around her head.
And some of you thought that SF was going soft.
My faith never wavered.
I blame Spud.
It was only Spud. And the lead from paint chips has accumulated over the years.
“Accelerate to 100kph,” the car whispered.
I liked this better than “Death Race 2000”.
Yessss, Subaru Horror Theatre. I love you SugarFree. I will bake you low carb cakes, just to keep these coming.
But will you give him the Billy Idol treatment?
Make me dance with myself?
You mean no interest in anything physical? Sure
Desserts are always appreciated.
I have a friend with celiac disease, so I actually have a repertoire of low carb desserts.
Did I mention I’m drinking martinis in the heat
Gin & (diet) tonic in cool AC.
Vodka & Fresca in cool AC. Fuck the heat.
They still sell Fresca?
My grandmother drank Fresca. About once a year I’ll buy a two liter and have some. I love it for that first glass. After that, it’s awful. I just enjoy reliving the memory of having a glass with her.
My mother drank Fresca. That first, ice cold sip on a hot summer day was sublime. Never finished a can.
It’s the only sugar- and caffeine-free soda I can both find and tolerate for a night of mixing into vodka.
Yeah, when you’re really thirsty, it’s great. Otherwise… “at least it’s not diet anything else”.
Something about mint, if I remember correctly…
Iced chardonnay in the AC. Cuz I’m classy.
Pet Nat
I’m so fucking drunk… well, not really, but I’m working on it. My wife is talking some shit about something, and I think I’m going to play some Outward…
I feel like I had a small part to play in that. You are all welcome.
No more than the rooster did with the sunrise.
Jealousy is such an ugly emotion.
Well with OMWC, happiness, envy, sadness, anger, fear and even boredom are ugly emotions.
Have you ever seen the sun rise without a rooster crowing somewhere?
I didn’t think so.
Go back and read Ozymandias’ article from yesterday.
I think I’ll go and shoot stuff tomorrow.
Have fun. im going Saturday. AR Pistol and PX4 Compact. Maybe take my Glock 22 as well. Might dry fire practice with the PX4 tomorrow.
Tonights range update:
Arbitrary milestone: round count through the CZ at 4006.
Less arbitrary milestone: It took over 600 rounds to get there. But I shot an 83 on an AP2 target at 7 yards with the P365. 4 shots in the black.
Shooting at speed is getting into drinking cost territory. But not whoring territory, since I’m not Jerry Miculek.
“Shooting at speed is getting into drinking cost territory.”
No. Shit.
Go back and read my series on reloading.
I don’t have time to reload. I barely have time to shoot.
Nice. 365 reliable for you? You like it?
I have had one stoppage, a failure to eject which I will blame on the ammo. A steel casing sealed in the chamber so tightly I had to use the edge of a vice to actuate the slide. But nothing with brass or aluminum cased ammo.
I honestly don’t see what is so rave-worthy about the trigger. But it functions, the tritium sights are nice and with conscious trigger discipline I can put it on target. And it fits in my pocket.
To elaborate — my “shooting enjoyment” with it is no better than my Shield v.1 But it’s pretty much better in every other way than the shield, so I haven’t shot it since I got the Sig. And the oval grip on the Shield makes it go cockeyed in my grip.
Friend of mine loves his shield. I don’t think I’ve shot it or if I did it was just a mag.
I have one and my bro has a 365. I’m so used to the Shield that the 365 felt funny in my hand, but I shot it well and the capacity thing is intriguing.
The Shield hides easier.
Cool thanks. its on my list. Probably next year though. I heard they came out with a 15 rnd mag for it. I don’t own a sig but checking them out in stores, I really liked their night sights.
Being in NY, the P365 is kind of an ideal carry piece since anything more than 10 rounds is a waste. Though someone at my gun club just told me that you’re not actually allowed to carry a gun with 10 rounds in it, just own/carry a 10 rd mag, and load it to 10 at a licensed gun range. I will need to find out if this is actually true.
I need to email Kristen
So, wifey bought some Heineken, so much for my cheap beer weekend. Gawd, I luvs me some Heineken. Sorry baby, I drank your beer.
You ever try Steinlager? It’s a Kiwi beer, they sell it in 22’s and 12 oz bottles. It’s similar to Heineken.
Yes, I’ve had it, very good.
If you drink enough of her beer, you will end up so good looking and witty that she will fall all over herself to forgive you.
This has always worked for me!
“I’m going to drink myself pretty” is a trademarked saying of mine from back in the days when I was single and going to bars to meet wimmin.
2 hours into a 6 hour drive to the middle of nowhere. Daughter is watching Aladdin and wife is singing along to all the songs. Please help me!
And people say I’m twisted.
Sounds like the Sig P365 is what you need. And one round.
Don’t comment and drive!
Does your car have the tightening seatbelts from the story above?
No? The open the door, press the button and jump. It can’t possibly be any worse than someone singing out of key show tunes along with a movie.
I have driven a car (BMW M3) that had adaptive seats that “hug” you more as you increase g-forces. That shit was strange and just felt like the car was slapping you in the ribs while entering a corner.
Christine.
The Strawberry Girl?
Now she’s in purple, now she’s the turtle
Disintegrating
Oh yeah.
But I was referring to this little minx.
So it was a movie or something?
Well, that’s one word for it.
Although this wasn’t half-bad.
Not this one?
They should all be ashamed of themselves.
The band, the crowd, Letterman.
Everyone.
I’m sure Gene will go home and sleep like a baby on the pile of cash they gave him for that gig. He probably makes special pillow out of the cash that should have gone to the rest of the band if he hadn’t contractually bilked them out of it.
But everyone else should be ashamed of it though.
Really? The worst guy in the band makes the most money?
That’s awesome.
I’ll admit I have no proof, but I thought I remembered that a couple of the band mates (Ace and Peter Cris) were pissed when they started touring again because Gene owned so much of the band.
PURE EVIL!
One of the best in the series so far, great stuff.
Speaking of bumper stickers, I was just behind a Prius that had several of them. One I have seen on a number of occasions and still think it’s one of the more stupid ones I’ve seen, which is saying something since lefties love them some idiotic bumper stickers. “I have a dog and I vote”. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Are there anti-dog candidates ever on a ballot? I live in the land of ridiculous citizen initiatives and can’t recall ever seeing one single dog related thing on a ballot.
The most awesome bumper sticker I ever saw was on a beat up pickup:
I Brake For Hallucinations
Are there anti-dog candidates ever on a ballot?
Mitt Romney, 2012. He had binders full of female dogs on the roof of his car that he drove off of a cliff, jumping out at the last second. Duh…
Meh, they were all bitches.
On a somewhat related note: I’m a sucker for old books, and I found 1897 anthology of issues of a literary magazine called The Chap Book at a local used bookstore. One of the opinion articles was a rebuttal of the idea that we should exterminate all dogs. So apparently, there was some article published in the late 1890s that advocated eradicating 100 percent of dogs from the planet as a means of preventing rabies and mauling attacks (either that, or the author grossly misrepresented some other article).
Hmm, I would think that must have been a pretty fringe opinion, even then. I’ve never heard of such a thing.
Supposedly the market for tiny caliber pocket guns was for rabid dog attacks, so at one point they were a perceived problem.
Seen today, in the “Co Exist” style:
Eat a Dick
I LLOLed.
My favorite Coexist bumper sticker:
http://jimgoad.net/images/coexist.jpg
“I have a dog and I vote”. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Some people are for stronger laws on pet breeders (they’re against “puppy mills”), and advocate for candidates who agree with them. I generally think they go too far, but some of the worst puppy mills really are an abomination (to this animal lover).
These guys, if they ran for office?
You might be surprised.
I……wha………..is that………?
Shhhh. Yes. Shhh.
What was the final tally?
Check your email, sent you a few things.
Sah-LUTE, sir!
TYT Cancels The Dalai Lama
Big hitter, the Lama.
Andes commuters take the Daily Llama.
That was funny. What’s wrong with you people?
I only just now read it. It is amusing enough to earn a *narrows gaze*.
Or a *drops gloves*
No, you’re right–it was funny. I’m just kinda processing the entirety of it….
+1 goonga galoonga
My favorite feature on the site.
I thought you were going to the cabin?
I leave early tomorrow.
Safe travels. Enjoy the time off the grid!
No doubt. Much drink. Much 4×4. Much fish.
You get drunk awfully fast at 10,500 ft.
Big rainbows up that high?
They seem to happen more often, or maybe I just pay closer attention.
Trout, not pride!
Ah. Yes, rainbows and cutthroats are the preferred prey. There can be some big ones in the lake, not so much in the streams. Potentially big ones in the Rio Grande (cabin’s right at the headwaters) but I’d need a license for that…
But lemme tell ya about all the gay sex…
You go there for the bears, don’t you?
Totes.
Growing up in Colorado, when Iived by the Rio, in Truth or Consequences, NM, I found the warm water trout to be… mushy. I much preferred the bass. It’s all about the bass…
You lived in T or C? My group of wasted youth friends and I used to go camping at Elephant Butte every summer. Oh the shenanigans we’d get into…
Yup. Used to fix boats. Also built retaining walls, because who doesn’t want to do hard labor in the desert? Did you ever see the shrine to Mary in the narrows?
Love trout, rainbow, brook, or cutthroat. Reminds me of camping as a kid.
And smoked steelhead, which is just ocean going rainbow… mmmm…
What about Mike Trout?
And hung over just as fast. Mucho agua.
Have fun!
Have fun!
Thanx doodz. I’ll drink several beers for each of you.
Good, thanks, because I need to cut back despite having a fridge full of beer from a multi-state beer haul plus BIF beer and a cabinet full of hard liquor.
This booze will last me a very long time.
I really hope this guy is as cool as he seems through texting. Foodie, witty, cyuute in pics. I’m prepared to be disappointed.
“Women say they like a man that can make them laugh. What I want to know is… does nervous laughter count?”
/SugarFree’s Tinder profile
Let us know if he drops to one knee and opens a ring box.
I hope NOT. I want him to be sane and cool.
Kinda depends on the size of the ring, doesn’t it?
Sane? What’s the fun in that?
I say to go in with very low expectations. Leave room to be surprised by bare minimum human interactions. Then, if he is great, you’re gold.
And never, ever mention this place.
Well, not until he’s good and whipped.
And demand bareback when you say “I NEED THIS BABY NOW”
Then see how he reacts.
Just had a voice conversation with him, still sane and he fun.
This isn’t boding well for our entertainment.
err . . . I guess I’m happy for you.
Noice. Make sure he knows how to fix the cable IYKWIM.
Avoid politics at the beginning (unless you really couldn’t stand someone with a completely different viewpoint and don’t want to waste your time).
My wife and I don’t always agree, but we overlap enough in core values that it works. Although sometimes after a political discussion she wonders why she married me.
I knew I was in for a rough ride, SF. You had me sitting on the edge of my seat. I don’t care what the others say, you done good.
A true horror tale:
I stopped smoking pot 13 years ago. Not for any particular reason, I just didn’t care about it anymore (I was never a heavy smoker, just occasionally with friends). After my 13 year hiatus, I vaped some pot in December. With no tolerance I got way too high. I mean not even close to fun high. Well, last Friday I smoked again, 2nd time in 13 years, first time in 7 months.
Monday morning, my boss hand me a form,I’ve been summoned for a random drug test.
I’ve been there over 2 years and never even seen anyone at my job actually get a random, but they grabbed about 5 of us that day. I haven’t heard anything back yet, but I’m assuming I’m fucked.
Are you in a recreational or medical legal state? Argue it is secondhand smoke from your stoner buddies/loved one with cancer/etc.
One of my hunting buddies actually got away with that on a probation-related check.
I’d go for it.
Indiana, possibly the least MJ friendly state.
Kentucky too. We don’t even have medical use for terminal patients.
I’d still go with “visiting with a friend who is dying.” Just in Illinois.
I’m trying not to get my hopes too high, but I did pass a drug store test on my very next piss. From my research, they’re as accurate as the urinalysis tests the lab will use. However, the lab will conduct the more accurate gc/ms test if I failed the urinalysis test. I’d definitely fail that.
I won’t get fired for it, but I would have to go to treatment. Seriously, treatment, for smoking pot, for the second time in over a decade. I must be addicted!
I’d raise hell and demand a retest. Especially if you are good. The market is pretty tight for employers.
Good luck!
Truthfully, I want out and have for a while. If this happened before the new garage door, car repairs, cutting the tree down, and medical bills, I’d be completely fine with it. But money is tight right now and I need this job until I get that next one.
Drink waaay too much water, starting now. Demand a retest. You should pass.
The contract lab will used a screening test (dip-stick) for an indicator, then run the piss through GC-MS (gas chromatograph-mass spectrometry) to confirm.
Indiana, possibly the least MJ friendly state
Well arguably…
I have not heard anything positive about the cleanser stuff although I have no direct experience.
But between now and the test, drink lots of water. Lots. Of. Water. On the day of your test make sure that you have drunk lots of water the night before so that the first thing that you do when you wake up is piss. Then drink a bunch more so that you can piss again. Try to schedule your test in the afternoon so that you can get several urinations before but you have to have enough water in you to actually produce a sample.
I have heard that massive amounts of cranberry juice is a cleanser but this is unproven.
Good luck. Piss tests are un-american.
Goldenseal was always the go-to back in the day.
There’s a good chance you’ll be ok.
If you only took a couple hits you might be ok. Might not show up.
Back in the ’80s when I was in the military, they wouldn’t test every sample. They’d collect 100 piss jars and maybe only test 25 of them for real. The idea being that the randomness of deterrence of the testing was more valuable than the actual test.
Do you actually work in a job where being high would endanger anyone?
Not at all, I work all day in a cubicle doing mundane work that I’m probably overqualified for. I think the only reason I have kept the job for as long as I have is that I get my work done in just a couple hours and can spend the rest of my time trying to find the end of the internet.
I’d start spending the rest of your time trying to find another job. Testing cube drones is barbaric.
I’m with Rhy, that is utterly ridiculous. And yeah, if you really need the job demand a retest and you will likely pass it fine with plenty of flushing out. .
I have absolutely no doubt I’d pass a test today. I might have passed the one Monday, I just have to wait it out to see. What I find funny is that everyone knows who the office potheads are. I was talking to one of them about it (we’re good friends outside of work) and he told me how they all have backup plans (fake or frozen piss). So the only people who get screwed are people like me.
But what really gets me is that i’ve been in positions (last job and this one) where I could have, but never got a random test. And 99.9% of the time I could have passed. Literally the worst time it could’ve happened it did.
Yeah, I smoke pot maybe once every couple years. Even still I will absolutely refuse to work a cube job that tests, if at all possible.
When I took the job, I had been laid off for 3 months. My severence was running out and I didn’t want to eat into too much of my savings. So I took this job (much lower paying than my last one) begrudgingly. It was only meant to be a stop gap. However, I have had trouble finding another job. I’m not sure why. I keep hearing how the labor market is awesome. It’s actually depressing situation.
^This^
One of the things I like a lot about my current employer is that they didn’t insist on any of that stupid pre-employment bs. No drug test, no back ground check, no signing away your IP.
*adds “signs away IP” to hospital’s employment contract*
Standard for developers. “If you come up with a great idea for some program while working here, we own it”
Like non-competes, it is pretty unenforceable unless they can prove your idea came directly from stuff you learned on the job, but still a way to fuck with you.
What kind of fucked up employer does random UAs post hiring for non-safety sensitive or regulatory required positions?
I’m catching up on earlier threads.
A cosby of rapes
I have no idea how to work this into casual conversation, but I’ll try.
Sussex?
WebDom came up with, “an entitlement of millennials.”
truly chilling
LOL
WebDom wins the internet for the day!
Bravo!
A tedium of wokes.
This is correct. We would also have accepted a “Bolshevik of wokes”.
You guys are giving me some great material.
You doin’ stand-up, Chafed? If so, get us all some tickets. In the back, preferably.
One grand daughter already here, another arriving tomorrow. If the weather is as expected maybe a little fishing and get the girls started on the shooting part. Not kids but adult kids. They need to learn to shoot/hunt and catch fish, that’s what grandpas are for.
That sounds great! Saturday looks like a perfect day, weather-wise.
Have a blast!
What you really need is to teach them how to clean fish. A five gallon bucket of sunnies should do nicely.
Make sure you teach them that before you teach them how to shoot.
The youngest (23) got her hands slimy a couple weeks ago on the fish bucket but she needs looooooooots more hands on experience. She’ll be OK, her older sister may even pull a Tom Sawyer on her and she can get 2X the practice.
My sons think that Gramps is awesome because he let them drive his truck around various fields in NoDak during hunting trips starting around when they were 10.
A very Tom Sawyer situation. “Hey who wants to walk 2 miles back to the truck and drive it over here to pick us up?” Both of them would jump up and down to be chosen for such a fun task.
Now that sounds like a good time. My grandchildren are still toddlers but I am looking forward.
Every toddler should have a .22 revolver.
When a rich guy gives his son his first gun, he puts an ACOG on it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pySfXBnvnTM
Yeah, that sounds idyllic. How could anyone have a better day?
Have sex?
With his grandkids?
He *did* say they’re adult grandkids….
I think I’ve seen this one on pornhub.
In addition to? Sure.
In lieu of? I dunno. I’ll defer to those with grandkids.
Growing up we didn’t see them too often, now that they have their own life (out of school and in the market place) they will have more opportunity if they want.
A better day would be to see them dragging a deer out of the woods in November.
A better day would be to see them dragging a deer out of the woods in November.
Agreed.
EJ Reviews: Weber Summit Charcoal Grill
“He touched the navigation icon a bland female voice said, “Destination?””
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq4OtRsdXls
T&A for the USA!
http://archive.li/7qZtu
Watch the more interesting, and less annoying, soccer team play Reefer Madness.
I didn’t make it past 1.
#44 reminds me of a woman I asked out and got shot down by.
At least you got shot down. #16 reminds me of a girl I had a shot at but was too chickenshit to go for. That was 15 years ago though and I have jettisoned all self-awareness and shame in the meantime.
I had a shot at but was too chickenshit to go for.
I still fall into that trap occasionally, but you’re right, at least I got shot down and know.
So, Florida
ManSoccer Team is performing, um, something of a game tonight. 2 reds and down 3-1.Jamaica’s goalkeeper runs into his own man….
And now a weather delay….
I wanted to but I am unable to watch that one. It ain’t on espn+ and I don’t have cable to get it on fs1. How is the US team looking? (I maintain low expectations…)
Not bad, but vulnerable to the counterattack.
They look pretty good except they’re not finishing. It should be about 3-0.
Who knows how they’ll be after the delay is over.
And I’m assuming this will be mandatory 30 minutes after the last sign of lightning.
Gosh, who could see that coming in the middle of summer in the interior of the US?
And we’re back in 17 minutes!
Let’s get ready to rumble.
That’s quite the mullet Long has
I noticed. Gross.
I see he isn’t covered in tatts, so I guess he went with “ridiculous haircut” to convey “I am a sports person”.
Long looks like the Mohawk guy from Mad Max
I like Landon’s tie.
I was admiring Landon’s whole get up. I need to try the folded pocket square, usually just go for the “peaks”
Are we winning or what? I don’t think the google is keeping up.
Monster lightning delay (90 minutes). Second half just started, US up 1-0
W00t!
Well done, dopes.
Looks like I’m on track to miss both the USMNT and the USWNT games on Sunday. Ah, well.
I take it back – Landon has some terrible shoulder pad thing happening.
He needs a better tailor.
I hope one red was Nani. *spit*
Ah, Nonnie….
There seems to be a lot of fishing talk going on. I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. I wish I did. But I don’t. I love hunting, I love the outdoors, hiking,. Camping. Getting drunk and masturbating in a poison ivy patch only to have some of the worst pain of my life.
But fishing is boring to me. I’ve tried hard to like it. But I’ve failed. Not my thing. To all of you going fishing this weekend, enjoy! I won’t be joining you.
Ever try fly fishing?
It has all the challenging aspects of hunting, but with water.
There’s no reward at the end. I only like fish in stick form, drenched in tartar sauce.
I can’t even.
You’re right. I also like a filet o’fish from McDonalds once every two or three years.
My gawd. You are one sick SOB.
He likes masturbating with poison ivy.
My gawd. You are one sick SOB.
There will be NO kink-shaming in one of my comment sections, young man.
What a man and his fish sandwich do to one another is no one else’s business.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz2DYaMJ4ss
Oh great, look at Diddy here.
My cats certainly enjoy hunting flies that manage to get into the house.
Ever try fly fishing?
Ever try bait fishing with a fly rig? It’s wonderful. The fly rod allows you to drop into little backwaters and eddys where the feeders hang out. Let the tackle drift into the holes and be prepared.
Sage advice, BH. Something every pre-teen/teen boy should learn.
But fishing is boring to me
The point is to relax. I hardly ever fish anymore, but I did a lot growing up. I have caught, killed and eaten nearly everything (within reason…) VA waters have to offer. I should get back into it.
“Getting drunk and masturbating in a poison ivy patch only to have some of the worst pain of my life”
I think we need more information about this.
And to me fishing is casting a line in the lake and sitting in a lawn chair drinking beer all day. I’m not exactly what you’d call really serious.
Also shooting. I forgot shooting.
Some of the funnest fishing I ever did was shore fishing for carp in a spot called “Carp Haven” with a group of guys. There were about 25 or so guys in the group, but any time you showed up at Carp Haven there would be maybe a random 10 of us.
The beauty of CH is that while it was on the Mississippi, it was hard to get to. You had to park on a residential street and bushwack through a park on game trails. There was one patch that you normally had to wade through water. The reason that was great was because it meant that you had that stretch of shore to yourself, so you could pretty much do what you wanted.
The hightlight of any Sunday was when the paddle boat full of tourists would come plodding by on a brunch cruise. We’d all start waving and getting a good crowd to look at us, then we’d moon them.
Alas they “improved” the park and paved all the trails and now that stretch of beach is like a 4-lane hiway. The bridge was also rebuilt and the holes we caught carp out of changed.
A coworker who’s a semipro bass fisherman got a vanity phone number of xxx-BASS. We quickly discovered the numbers also spelled, and changed his proudly display phone number on the whiteboard to, xxx-CARP.
I wasn’t much on fishing as a kid. 1) I was a spaz and sitting quietly in a boat sucked 2) my father is an insanely good fisherman and would catch 10 fish to my every one. That ration, my spazziness and a competitive streak didn’t mix well.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve really begun to like fishing because I’m doing it at my own pace. For me it is like golf. I’m just competing against myself. Trying to get a bit better, but never hung up on results.
i also found that I really enjoy the outdoors a lot more after a career stuck indoors in an office.
Let’s go up and catch some smallmouth on the Rum.
sitting quietly in a boat sucked
I am fidgety, but I liked driving the boat, which is why I was learned to do so while barely a teen and preferred salt-water trips in the Bay over freshwater trips to a pond (bigger, faster boat).
I think fishing ass a kid is what ruined it for me. I grew up in the suburbs and we’d go over to a nearby apartment complex to fish. The fist would see you and all come up to the dock and wait for you to drop the line. Sometimes you didn’t even have to have bait on there. We’d catch over 100 a day. Then I went real fishing. You don’t catch anything. You just wait. I’d rather go squirrel hunting if i’m going to do nothing.
I don’t want to fish ass….
So you’ve been out with HM already ?
Fishing = Drinking beer
^this^
“I grew up in the suburbs and we’d go over to a nearby apartment complex to fish.”
Que?
I went fishing a few times when I was a kid. It was OK, but it’s not going to bother me if I never do it again.
Dittoes
Various NY lakes – Ontario, Oneida, etc. No beer.
Now when I think of “fishing” it’s the sketchy dudes I see tossing cages off piers into the Hudson or New York Harbor. I can’t imagine what they catch or who’s going to eat it.
Fish from the Hudson? Do they sell them to terminally ill patients that want to die with dignity?
I love fishing. Wading a stream and flinging flies, jigging worms for bass, spinners in a lake for trout. Love it.
Fishing is boring if you don’t catch fish. Catching fish is a rush. I tend to throw them back. It’s been a few yrs since I’ve gone, and I’m starting to be convinced that the fish do feel pain, so I may not do it anymore.
Zardoz should give this gal some advice: I Can’t Stand My Husband’s Friend. Can I Ask Him to Sever Ties?
Christ, the advice is horrid.
TL;DR – Point out that his friend sucks and eventually he’ll come to his senses, admit you were right all along and drop him!
Fuck that. Divorce the harpy and trade her in for a newer model.
I think I found the problem. She’s terrified that her hubby is going to notice on day that his buddy is happy and banging young gals, while he’s dragging his ass back home to look at your frumpy ass.
…and a new site feature is discovered: Ask Pope Jimbo!
That’s the part that got me, I think she wants to fuck the friend.
Maybe just a three-way?
Gee, why wouldn’t he want to know about this gem??
/Lady, maybe friend-o simply doesn’t give a fuck. Your someone else’
problemlove, and, it’s not like he owes you any attention.The first replies are not friendly to her position.
Perhaps the best way to fish.
The helmet is mandatory and damn, would I love to still be young enough to do that.
That is the most American thing I’ve ever seen.
10/10
Agreed. We are one busty woman in a Stars and Stripes bikini away from Peak America.
Hier.
America Overload
You forgot the guns.
The flamethrower propulsion device cracks me up every time.
Nice.
DEVESTATION!
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/census-wont-include-citizenship-question
Ya hear that? Checking a box on a form will lay waste to women, PoC, trannies, gays, super gays and Puerto Ricans nationwide.
I though teen vogue only did anal sex stories?
Well this one’s about Mexicans so I think there’s an oblique connection to anal sex.
I’ve said it before – with or without the question, the “vulnerable or marginalized” heavy localities will convince the census bureau to “adjust” their numbers up anyway. They do it every census.
I.e. this is all political theater.
I Imagine it’s like any other job, If you show up and start working for free, they’ll see your value.
Damnit… That was meant for the Porno thread.
Whew – I’m NOT drunker than I thought.
There’s a porno thread?
well . . not really. Q just wants an excuse to look at my package. That’s why he overcompensates with the lovely lady posts.
Better
Supposed to be reply to Tres
In case banginglc gets fired:
https://www.askmen.com/money/how_to_400/436_how_to.html
I mean, it’s right there in your handle.
TL;DR but I’m guessing it greatly depends on which sort of porn you’re angling for.
The author:
https://lindsaytigar.com/about/
I’m sure there is a shortage of overweight, bald, hairy dudes in the porn industry I can fill!
This guy is close to retirement, you could step into his shoes, so to speak.
https://archive.li/S5GJc/767bdfa0b8213f251072efa19836c7ed470d0961.jpg
Ron Jeremy, is that you?
I read the story to my wife.
She gave me the “You guys are so weird” look.
I thought it was great.
Keep
AustinGlibs Weird.She’s not wrong.
I can’t stand my husbands internet friends, can I ask him to sever ties?
Severing ties with you miscreants might be more difficult than some of my meatspace friends.
“Ah cain’t quit yew, Tundra!”
You must not have done a good dramatic reading. Give me $50 and I’ll do it all up in audio book format, she’ll be stuck the edge of her seat. (I’m assuming she duct taped there already)
The Forgotten Soldiers of the Revolutionary War
This series is a brilliant concept and the writing is sublime. Can’t make up my mind if watching the commercial before or after reading is better.
Do this one next.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qEJLYOP_vs&list=PLZp9uKyBKzHAT21raurR2FEi_luluIDBs
…so she got toxoplasmosis from petting the cat. Fast forward 20 years, the baby, now all grown up and a hikikomori. He’s ripped from abusing steroids and the fact that he only leaves the house in the middle of the night to go lift weights. He then has a psychotic break and develops schizophrenia from the in utero toxo. He roid rages during the break and, guts his parents like fish with a fancy Japanese knife and feasts on their entrails. The scene fades as the SWAT team descends upon the tiny apartment while he’s castrating himself.
Nice. Japanese version of SWAT teams are a riot. They don’t do jack shit. Just sit there and wait for the killer to be done killing then a tsunami of bureaucrats file into the crime scene and do their thing.
I haven’t tried watching it after. Because they usually flow into each other. I like Alles in Ordnung.
This one is a continuation of the commercial, so watching it first makes sense. Then again, prequels are quite popular these days.
Yeah, some philistines like to “play” with time. I confess to enjoying it sometimes.
Guy Pearce’s best role. I wanted to do a parody of it starring a slut with mushroom tattoos all over her body and have her try to piece the story together.
*swoon*
Hm? Oh, yes, correct.
Ugh, he’s a Geelong fan.
*dead to me*
He was decent in LA Confidential, but Memento was the bomb.
*comic book guy rant* Guy Pierce should have played Jean Paul Valley in a trilogy of Batman movies in the Nolan-verse to give Christian Bale a hiatus, before Bale would return and play an old Batman.
*non comic guy rebuttal*
Nolan directed anything between Memento and Interstellar?
Just wonderful!
Subaru commercial for their eyesight braking just came on. Can’t wait to see how it plays on Subaru Horror Theatre.
https://youtu.be/hkw3B4QPyFk
http://l.wigflip.com/ONnZ1yMy/wigflip-saywhat.jpg“>I ? Eric.
And….I didn’t close muh tags.
Is Eric your Demi Rose?
Here ya go. I like porn that makes you think, “Yeah, I’d have a shot at that, but….meh, why not?”.
NSFW.
I like real girls. Thats hotter than all the plastic and duck face.
Yep. Mediocre porn is the future.
Have y’all looked at this from a practical perspective? This means that Subaru is light years ahead of everybody else when it comes to AI.
AI? No, they encage a little person inside each car and just pretend it’s AI. Fucking Australians!
I dunno, Tesla seems to be right on their tails…
Elon still hasn’t nailed down target acquisition.
Fuck AI in automobiles. I dont trust it. I dont want it. I think it’s pointless.
When in a vehicle, I want control of it. Period.
I like the _idea_ of having the car take over for some boring stretches while I take a nap but, yes, I don’t trust the execution.
Well it will not be up to you. Your betters will decide when to outlaw self driving cars. people some day will laugh at the idea of you getting to decide where you want to go and at what speed.
outlaw manual cars I meant.
Yeah, my leadfoot self would/will change at that. “I command you to go 15 mph over the limit!”
What this taught me is that kids who can’t draw should be caged.
https://twitter.com/RepGwenMoore/status/1146503709318402048
That backfired instantly.
Why, it didn’t help the art skills. I saw we just go the middle eastern route and cut their hands off.
L
E
A
R
N
T
O
D
R
A
W
?
I’m done with news-by-emotion.
LOL!!
That was gold.
Serious question – can detainees voluntarily head back South or must they go through the deportment process at this point?
My understanding is that they are free to leave at any time, as long as they are leaving.
Well. There’s no way to assure they “leave” unless someone’s following them, is there.
And i’m quite probably wrong; once you’re taken into custody, I’m sure the bureaucracy takes over. I’m sure it’s not as easy as saying “changed my mind, let me go, i’m going home”
Sort of. If you’re not here legally, you’re only really free to do what you want until you get caught. Once in ICE’s custody, your options are pretty limited. But, the goal of the process is deportation, so if you agree to go “voluntarily” the whole process gets significantly expedited.
The people spending significant amounts of time in detention are the ones who don’t want to leave. They are trying to contest their status (which almost always fails), applying for asylum (which is generally denied to people with a history of being here illegally), or just running out the clock.
This is where the rubber meets the road in terms of immigration offenses generally not being crimes. The process is not designed to establish guilt or assess whether an individual “meant” to do a bad thing, nor even to give a jury a chance to decide on anything. The only question is, do you have a legal right to be here; the answer is generally “no”; and the only remedy is removal. The administrative procedure is thus mostly a formality, but it’s one the law requires to be honored. The purpose of detention is to ensure the process is carried out all the way to the end. There are probably other ways to accomplish the same end, but none of them are perfect (e.g., bail could be paid by a third party who’s willing to forfeit the money; deport first, assess later would anger the foreign country getting most of the deportees, not to mention harm the small number of people who the system has wrongfully determined are not here legally, etc.).
The problem is that the people wailing about the camps don’t have the votes to overturn the law and don’t have a better solution, apart from ignoring the law.
Bipolar mother in law.
Advise?
Hug your wife.
Be polite and stay away as much as possible.
Actually, ^This.
What if you’re the type of person that likes to “stir the pot”?
Bless your heart.
No, seriously. I have gotten the gf’s mom in quite the tizzy without even trying, and without starting it.
I like to escalate situations at work, but seek peace at home.
I believe in chaos…and preserving my career while taking chances at home…
I try, Q. I really do. She dont bother me, but she does bother my wife, which makes it my problem.
Harumf.
https://youtu.be/hRHhPNzQXHI
In all seriousness, that’s a tough row to hoe. Hug your wife is the appropriate response.
Buy her the Vanilla Ice album?
Meds in her water bottle?
That sucks, sorry to hear.
Jumper cables?
Abandon you family and move to Cambodia
I dunno. Pub?
That is what I was suggesting
https://theculturetrip.com/asia/cambodia/articles/the-7-best-bars-in-phnom-pen/
Fun fact: Cambodia is listed as one of the best ex-pat locations for Americans.
Booze. Always booze. Whether it’s for you, her, both is you labor to enact.
Seriously, that’s why my first love, the mother of my only child, and I are no longer together. She lived with us. So, no joke, no snark; if you want to keep your wife, you must move away. Take your family, and move.
Yikes. Sorry.
Whoa. That’s heavy. Sorry that happened to you.
Is it July the 4 yet?
Good morning glibers
*Checks time*
I believe it is.
HIT IT.
All the America songs are European and therefore anti-American.
“songs I know”
Is that advanced footage of Trump’s Independence Day Shindig?
A better America song. Given the artist, I’ve no idea what he’s going on about, as usual. Familiarity with Wienerdeutch might be required.
Happy Independent Day, Pie!
(I’m unclear on the concept of other countries)
Today in Europe we celebrate getting rid of the more antisocial people on our continent who cared insufficiently for the common good.
“you can’t throw me out! I’m leaving!”
Let me clear that up for you. They don’t matter.
Happy Govt Dependence Day!
It’s too late to apologize.
Nice. I can’t believe I have never seen that before.
It was almost a decade ago that I shared it with a lefty history prof and she thought it was awesome, today I’m sure it’s only proof of systemic racism.
American independence day should be a mourning for what we have lost.
Conceived in liberty, born into tyranny.
Still one of the better patriotic treatments from my youth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhevfANM09Q
he asked loudly and with careful pronunciation
I hear Chappelle saying “I’m sorry, officer, I didn’t know I couldn’t do that.”
Second pass on this expensive Kavalan single malt I was (re)gifted.
I don’t really care for it – just tastes like amazingly strong sherry.
I tasted a few Taiwanese whiskey and did not care for any of them. Certainly not for the prices they were asking.
I’m just finished off my bottle of michtner’s rye. Up next, Templeton.
I love Michter’s Rye. Maybe a little too much – it doesn’t last long.
I’m always surprised at how quickly the whiskey disappears. I usually only have a glass a night, but it goes fast.
Eh, a 750 ml bottle is about 12 good glasses (2oz pour). Less than two weeks worth at that rate.
About a week’s worth with some healthy pours.
I think Kavalan has more than just their sherry finish expression.
Indeed they do – this is the cask strength “soloist” sherry (which looks to be stupid-expensive). I’ll give Kavalan another shot, just not enjoying this
It’s more expensive here than I’m willing to spend. The pricing in Taiwan looks better. But that’s in Taiwan.
It was given to my buddy by his Taiwanese bother in law who, I think, got it from EVA (some first-class thing?).
Nobody is out of pocket on this, at least.
(I’ve got some great typos going tonight – rarely post with my phone)
Not since the little girl had her blood let under the great oak or w/e where her grandmother’s virginity was taken have I been this bothered by a SF story.
So not since the last Suburu Horror Theater?
The loving-husband-with-a-body-count one was my favorite.
So you were cool with Donny banging dying hookers in the spleen?
Like you’ve never done that…
How else does one do such a thing?
How?
I think Rafi might have been on to something…
Mantzoukas is a seriously funny dude
The perfect guy for the perfect role. It’ll be a while before we the next ‘Rafi’ on TV (taking all things into account).
Judging by HDTGM, they’re all pretty woke IRL. Maybe it was Duplass who was irreverent.
Created by the guy who wrote/directed Eurotrip. Which ,if you haven’t seen it, you should.
Him, and his wife.
Shame that they go that route. Scheer’s wife is a hottie in my book. But, they’re in tight with Dirty Randy-guy, who’s a Judd Apatow hanger-on.
For people who do the irreverent shit, they sure do love them some government overlords. And, Duplass, too.
https://youtu.be/-6Zc8Co2H3w
https://archive.li/c4SuM/b258b9d8869f2cc6d1b9ade2ac1b5c5713882519.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/ofqx3/742e3c9946df03d621e4ae16d36c31510588c205.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/Q9dM7/292643bf3106f4de5af4907609d5437d143984e2.jpg
NSFW.
That reminds me: I need to pick up some melons for the 4th.
I’ll just assume you miss your wife.
Meh…I wouldn’t say “missing”.
Watch your bunnies. Yikes.
Fun…..
The winner by a country mile.
She’s oddly scary and not, at the same time. Maybe lock your pets in another room anyway just to be safe.
Andy Ngo gives long format interview to Bret Weinstein.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC4u1zo6OpQ
Emphasis on long… holy cow.
Speed it up. 1.5x. It’s an interesting interview. I just hope Veritas or Crowder or anyone is doing an in depth infilitration of Antifa. In a just world, a well done doco on that would get you a Pulitzer.
I tried to speed it up to see if he was gonna take off his top or something but no dice.
Happy 4th to you to, Rhy.
Why thank you! You too.
Listening to it and Bret is claiming that both the moderate left and right turn a blind eye to the extreme wings of their sides when they commit violence. That just is flat out not true.
I don’t know who that is, and I don’t really do videos when it’s 3 in the morning and I’m sort of drunk and a 5-minute read would do.
Bret is the lefty prof from Evergreen that the students attacked as a Nazi. He just can’t admit that moderate righties constantly denounce the far right. It’s BS. A 2 minute Google search and you can find dozens of cases where they denounce the far right. Hell, many of them call out the far right more than the far left.
*googles*
Ahh, that guy. Huh.
Interesting combo, him and Ngo. Maybe I’ll watch tomorrow.
Happy dependance day, to the 44% of the population sucking government teat.
You and Gustave have a great weekend. I’ll be trying to kick this cold and try to kick out a submission for glibs. It’s a been a while. So far, what I have is analyzing woke ideology with the lessons learned in Oedipus Rex and Alexander Solzenitzen. I did a similar thing with Hamlet a year or so ago. Wonder if there’s an appetite for literary analysis at glibs.
You must Submit!
Howdy straff!
Yusef up with the overnighters. No tall cans for me.?
Working weird hours and we finished 4 hours early, of course we bill full 10 hours, so here I am, Home
Motel home?
How does one calculate that, I wonder.
I am curious to know which side I’m on.
Walla Walla Sweets are at the store. Whisky is poured and ready for an extended weekend.
Hello? I got off work early, as in midnight, anything fun happen? Winston’s Mom show up maybe?
No dice on WM. You can read the article if you want to have nightmares.
Did I tell you Colorado does fireworks right? Big esplosions, and all around madness, I got the Wife some sparklers, she loves em
Cuz we aren’t German, Duh.
https://mobile.twitter.com/thehill/status/1146665222352097280
Oh come on. He actually said “latinks”??
What happens when you live in a country that is so prosperous that it can afford to support people whose only contribution to society is to produce derp. TW: HuffPo.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-people-are-using-the-term-latinx_n_57753328e4b0cc0fa136a159
Of course it did. Sorry, world.