THE CONTINUING AWESOME ADVENTURES OF SECRET NAZI PRESIDENT!!11!1! – Vol. 28: Barry, Biden & J-Z
About The Author
Penguin
BakedPenguin is a graduate of some school or another, smells like a homeless person, and has the friendly demeanor of a rabid wolverine.
Baked Penguin? Why does that name sound familiar?
Because you ate at an Antarctic-themed restaurant last night?
I wish.
I had microwave yakisoba last night.
Elitist has his own microwave, unless, unless unlike most glibs, he has friends.
What’s with the lack of comments?
Good work BP. I’ll take one side of ms hidarigawa, even if she is a prog.
Still waiting for it to load?
/300 baud modem
Everybody is waiting for the blood to return to their brains after the raging erections induced by the return-of-SNP?
Why, whatever do you mean?
*Tebows toward BP to hide massive boner*
Well, Penguin is baked. I assume everyone else is as well and we are all distracted by the colors in the post.
I’d like to crash my waves on Katrin’s shore, if you know what I mean.
Very glad to see a return!
dat ass
doe
Awesome! SNP never left. Mwahahaha!
Also, I’d like to put some mayo on Keiko’s sushi.
I would disappoint her all night long.
Well, for a few minutes anyway.
It’s twue, it’s twue! SNP is back!
I feel hole again!
THAT WHAT FRIEND
VICTIMOF STEVE SMITH SAY!That was fun. I like the Obama watermark.
That is a nice touch.
“Barry”
*narrows gaze*
Great work, BP. I missed Random Drunken Asshole!
Yes SNP!!
“Wait… What am I doing?” Sounds about right.
whoop, whoop! SNP is back! Extended edition this time.
mmmmmm……..
Zenu comin’!
Bring it on ! Great story line as well. Thanks, BP
RDA sounds like my inner voice.
He truly is an Everyman character.
OMG! Thanks so much for this, BP. Just what many of us needed to raise our spirits on this hot, sticky and sucktastic (NIAGW!) week.
It’s about time, I missed the adventures of random drunken asshole and Secret Nazi President. MGGA, make Glibs great again!
That would imply that at some point between launch and now Glibs dipped below ‘great’.
Glibs was never that great. – A. Cuomo
And the A stands for asshole, right?
What? We don’t have to convince the commies? And by convince, I mean troll. It’s not fun, and BTW, it’s pronounced ‘Uhmga’.
“Umma Gumma?”
That song freaked me the fuck out first time I heard it. Me and my friends just happened to be holed up in my bedroom smoking Thai Sticks and Jamaica weed at the time. I’m surprised there’s actually someone here who has even actually heard it.
Dude, I’m old.
Well, me and you2, Tonio.
I posted it on the Saturday evening links a few weeks ago.
MGGA…I assume that would be pronounce Migga?
Please.
“Soreass foundation…”
[titters]
I lol’d at that one.
I had to look twice, then rub my eyes, at the Obammy watermark. Very well done.
+1
Subtle and sublime.
^Brooksie nails it.
I was checking my junk email at AOL and thought I had landed at the Nation Bee.
“13 Philly Cops Fired dor Rascist Tweets” (so that’s how cops get fired)
https://aol.it/2Lv6Pd3
“Michelle Obama most admired woman in the world”
“Californiaia City to Ban Words Like ‘Manhole'”
https://aol.it/2O4yHqu
“13 Philly Cops Fired dor Rascist Tweets” (so that’s how cops get fired)”
Well, you have to know your protocol. Murder, good shoot. Racist tweets, you’re out of here.
“Michelle Obama most admired woman in the world”
Yeah sure, whatever you say.
“Californiaia City to Ban Words Like ‘Manhole’”
It’s Commiefornia.
Manhole would be a good gay bar name.
/way to get it unbanned, maybe…
One of the gay bars in Cleveland was named The Grid. It seemed an…inappropriate name to me (for reference it opened either late 90’s/early 00’s).
That’s no way to speak about the former first lady.
French-ify it to make the name classy.
Le Trou d’Homme?
“Californiaia City to Ban Words Like ‘Manhole’”
Gays hit hardest.
TERF conspiracy
Transhole has a nice ring to it.
The only gender neutral sex organ is the anus. It is the only thing those who identify as men, women or trans all possess equally. Therefore it is only fitting we change the name to….
Not technically a sex organ.
What, you hate oral?
Let me go, I’m rolling. Also, the ‘mouthhole’ just doesn’t work so well
Bad bad naughty Zoot hates oral
Cakehole?
Loretta?
+1 Box
Dudes were so far ahead of their time. No wonder comics are having so much trouble coming up with new material.
It’s hard to parody insanity when it’s no longer considered insane.
They can always change the name of the gay bar from “Manhole” to the gender neutral “A Hole.”
Man did I miss Random Drunken Asshole. He’s like a prophet, really.
Thanks, BP! You made my day!
Titties, mmm, let me see em.
What else is there to say? Man is a legend.
It’s like Paul Simons sang;
“The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls”
He just couldn’t figure out how to add in “in RDA’s excrement” and make it rhyme.
“The words of the prophets are written in RDA’s poo. After he goes to the loo…”
ARgh – people who schedule 3PM meetings on a Friday should be shot.
Or in her case at least a good spanking.
“ARgh – people who schedule 3PM meetings on a Friday should be shot.”
I couldn’t agree more. Get a life, fuckheads.
*hovers over ‘Send’ button for meeting invite*
To click or not to click…
If she’s spank worthy I don’t think I’d mind hanging around until 3. She also may be angling to be asked out for a cocktail after.
I would post a pic if I could… but imagine Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler. Like This– they could be kissin’ cousins.
Yeah, I wouldn’t resent that meeting so much then……
I used to have a weekly meeting at 16:30 on Friday afternoons. That one is gone now, replaced by one at 15:30 every Friday.
*whistles, looks around nervously*
Welcome Baaack!
Too bad Cortex Cortex had to change his name
Yeah, I can’t even remember what it was before, but it didn’t sound quite right. Of course, I do remember ‘Pecky’.
Cortez Cortez.
What a killer…
Yeah. Started as a typo then decided to leave it.
The Root does that voodoo that they do so well:
https://www.theroot.com/what-they-mean-when-they-say-send-her-back-1836503461
“Bodies”
Also, there was a robust black Back-to-Africa movement. Liberia. Marcus Garvey.
She was a girl from Birmingham….
I saw a tweet this morning of Dems telling some white dude to “go back to his country” and can’t find it now.
Oh well, The Root is still trash.
I linked a story this morning from a year or two ago about Dick Durbin and Jerry the Hutt trying to no shit get Seb Gorka deported, claiming he gave false information in his nationalization application, maybe that’s it?
Yeah, that was it. Which led to me this impeccable reasonable bit of journalism from where-else:
His ex-wife said that did she? Huh.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/19/opinion/trump-ilhan-omar.html
Plus everyone knows he can’t read.
Abraham Lincoln proposed sending blacks “back” to Haiti, Panama, Liberia and anywhere other than America.
Good lord. Trump got leftists to acknowledge Lincoln’s racism.
black and brown bodies
I still find this phrasing ironic.
And admit that gun control started as a way to suppress black people.
Holy fuckin’ shit. I never thought we’d see SNP ever again.
Show me them titties.
[Raises shirt for Q]
woot! ::throws beads::
+1
a feel-good story for you:
Teen Girl Activists Take On Skeptical Boys, Annoying Buzzwords
In the immortal words of RDA, “lemme see em titties”
Make me a sammich!
Grab me a beer. (they’re on the bottom shelf)
That’s so the kids are able to get one for you as well.
When my daughters were toddlers I used to have them “Bring Daddy a beer.” The only time that I felt bad about it was when two of them got into a fight over who was going to bring Daddy’s beer.
Why not both?
Ya gots two hands.
When my son was a toddler he loved helping me take the beer bottles out of the box and loading them into the fridge. On one occasion I bought a twelve pack of Alaskan Amber, and he thought seeing a picture of a boat on a beer bottle was the coolest thing ever. The next time I bought beer, I bought something different. As soon as he saw the box I could see his disappointment. He said “Daddy, I wanted you to buy the ship beer!”
I thought so she had to bend over to get them and you got to enjoy the view. ..
“Mom and dad, this is Chasey
Chasey, this is my mom and dad
Now show ’em them titties,
Now show ’em them titties,”
Oh, what we’ve lost in modern triggered culture.
Be sure to watch to the end for the special bonus guest appearance by Chris Christie
TRIGGERED CULTURE STOLE THE LINK!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Well, sheeeeeit
How is this a ‘feel good story’? Does it end with them realizing there’s more to life than activism, they have nothing to feel guilty about, and most of their misery is self-inflicted?
LOL. Show them some activists at 40.
It probably made the writer feel good to know there’s a deep well of narcissistic, condescending, bitter scolds who will blame everything on stupid white men for decades to come.
>>How is this a ‘feel good story’?
:something tongue something cheek
Well, from the pictures, it’s pretty clear their activism won’t be taking too much away from their dating time.
The activism itself is preventing that from being an issue.
For young guys a pretty face can make up for a lot of idiotic. They don’t have that advantage.
They’re not unsalvagable.
They’re not attractive and they’ve gotten into feminism.
Yes, they’re unsalvagable.
Chuck Norris can salvage any broad.
“she-roes”
Way to fight annoying buzzwords, girls. I just can’t understand why those stupid boys aren’t taking you seriously.
If they can’t femplain, can they even call themselves activists?
Does that make them inactivists? Because I don’t think they’re passivists.
“OMG, just spent the afternoon explaining to Tommy his role in perpetuating the patriarchy’s oppression of genderfluid individuals in the context of intersecionality and he STILL doesn’t get it! SO exhausting!”
“The spider in sector C is still alive. Plan your route accordingly and expect delays. We’re not telling you what to do. We’re just sharing how we feel.”
/Talkative Activist Barbie
The one from Sierra Leone actually has reason to be an activist.
STEVE SMITH ACTIVIST. FREE CASCADIA!
when they try to educate sexist men and boys
They seem bossy.
Scolding is such hard work.
Rule Britannia…
Iran has seized a British-flagged oil tanker in the Strait of Hormuz amid growing tensions in the region.
The Stena Impero, which has a crew of 23 onboard, “was approached by unidentified small crafts and a helicopter during transit of the Strait of Hormuz while the vessel was in international waters,” Stena Bulk said in a statement.
“There have been no reported injuries and their safety is of primary concern to both owners and managers,” it added.
So this is the setup for Top Gun 2? They already did this.
somewhere the ghost of Lord Nelson is crying.
So is Iran claiming all of the straights of Hormuz?
Straits damnit… Though I guess it works both ways.
Of course it does, accroding to the president of Iran, there are no gays in his country.
No, only the Bi’s of Hormuz go both ways. the straights will only work one way.
BP, THANK YOU for bringing this back! Random Drunken Asshole is my favorite.
Too late to join this mornings It’s Hot and Humid thread, so I’ll just do my gloating here.
It’s 71 degrees (high of 75 maybe) and 31% humjdiity (a bit higher than usual).
Off to a bike ride in the mountains. Last Best Place indeed.
Just noticed that the SNP is giving the “OK” sign.
Excellent!
It’s a white supremacists symbol. It is not OK
I feel like the cleverness of your comment should not go unremarked upon.
White power symbols are more popular than you might expect.
That was before the gesture switched sides!
It’s because of the southpaw strategy.
Looks like they are closing in on our friend Steve Smith
https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1PX4dE4ZRFR8pEnc2xHATGQe1rDA&ll=16.70780769925611%2C-104.87379850000002&z=3
EVEN STEVE SMITH STAY AWAY FROM DAKOTAS!
BUT STEVE SMITH STILL GET AROUND
https://www.businessinsider.com/unproven-allegations-ilhan-omar-married-her-brother-explained-2019-7
Great piece on Omar’s marriage to her brother/not-brother while living appearing to live with her baby-daddy.
Omar has not yet given a clear explanation as to why so many public documents point to her and Hirsi living together and being romantically involved while she was legally married to another man, but there is no solid evidence to support the theory that Elmi is Omar’s brother.
It’s ok she was living with and fucking someone other than her husband. And no one can prove the cuck was her brother.
This is a long read, but there’s video evidence that he probably is her brother.
https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2019/07/david-steinberg-tying-up-loose-threads-in-the-curious-case.php
i was searching for a motive and that provided one at the beginning. now i’m my curiosity is piqued.
I few months ago, I received a copy of Ilhan’s report via FOIA request. The description of the person Ilhan had been in the cab with was redacted.
This post is filled with Facebook screenshots and instagram photos, but he doesn’t included a copy of the one physical document he claims to have, I call Bullshit on the entire thing.
Yeah, I doubt it’s true. Either way, I don’t give a shit if she was fucking her brother, two guys at once, or the family dog. Her policies are shit and she’s gonna be reelected.
The thing I had never heard before is that Omar isn’t really her surname.
Of course it was her brother, no one else would fuck the ugly twat… OK, someone would, never wind.
It’s ok she was living with and fucking someone other than her husband
Yes, that is perfectly cromulent.
Now you made me look up cromulent…
consider your vocabulary embiggened.
From the article:
However, the things are significantly more complicated:
As of today, a Somalia-born sibling of a U.S. citizen could proceed with immigration only if his or her visa petition was filed before October 2006.
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/visa-law0/visa-bulletin/2019/visa-bulletin-for-august-2019.html
wait, but he was a British citizen.
okay, now i’m back to thinking this is all bullshit.
All I’m saying is that the motive to arrange a fake marriage to a brother still exists if the brother wants to get a green card in the US. A spouse’s immigration case will be processed within months, a sibling has to wait almost 13 years.
Every time I hear something like this, it reminds me of something completely different. I once worked with a guy… guys can be total horndogs, they will fuck anything that moves. Guy had one of the prettiest wives you will ever see, redhead, gorgeous, great face and body. I noticed he was spending a crazy amount of time seducing one of our co-workers on the shop floor. The woman was just nothing but ugly, I mean fugly. I finally just asked him ‘WTF?, you really want that?’. And he said to me ‘No one pays her any attention, she hasn’t been fucked in years, and that means she’ll be the best fuck ever’. Really? Whatever, it’s you who has to do it, you sick fuck.
Good stuff Baked?
Going away was nice, coming back home is even better. Looks like my pepper plants had a good week too. Yay.
This time of year reminds me that I was meant to live somewhere above the 45th parallel. I can bear snow and cold much better than I can heat and humidity.
whelp…..that was OT. Not meant as a reply….oh well, glad you had a good trip!
Above the 38th parallel is not habitable by humans, no way.
54 40 or fight!
Your igloo will melt here today.
Relevant
So. you’re one of the rich Canadians?
https://splinternews.com/rand-paul-offers-actual-journalist-a-deranged-journalis-1836531560
Rand Paul refuses journo-douche an impromptu interview.
OMG whut an idiot!?!?! Stay classy, media hacks.
Idk what that site is, but I immediately regret giving it a click.
Part of Gawker. That’s really all you need to know.
Don’t ask me questions.
Watch Fox News.
That’s it. That’s all you should do.
Funny, I heard him say “we had a good interview on fox the other day. It covered a lot of information. Watch that and/or schedule an interview with my office.”
I’ve had that news channel in my home for over 20 years and I’ve never heard of that person.
Right on! Love me some SNP! Good job BP.
This is the longest day ever in the history of the Metaverse. I have crossed
riversoceans of time to get here. But at least I still have beer and bourbon waiting…*pours couple shots of Buffalo Trace on ice, doesn’t give a fuck. Which Alaskan precinct were we going to take over, I can’t remember*
Damnit, can you guys remind me what software it was we were using for the threading. I;m working on a new PC build and have a new install of Windows 10.
Bravo!
Thanks for all the kind words, glad to bring SNP back. Also, sorry I got here only after the thread started dying.
Thanks for this. Very funny made me happy.