A Noob Guide to Glibertarians.com

by | Oct 15, 2019 | Admin | 497 comments

“Fuck off, Tulpa” will probably be the first reply you receive when you start posting here. It’s an in-joke, a sign of acceptance, a minor form of hazing. So chill the fuck out and be cool, ok?

Glibertarians.com, aka Glibs, is a private website owned and operated by The Powers That Be (TBTP) for the amusement of themselves and the greater Glib community. TPTB were kind enough to open this website for others to contribute material, and to participate in the comments. Just don’t be a dick, don’t throw around racist slurs, and don’t attack other people unless they are arguing in bad faith (rare here, but it happens). Attacking positions is always fair game. They will ban a troll faster than you can say “rumplestiltskin.”

All the material published here is submitted by members of the community; nobody gets paid for writing, drawing, animating, doing website design and administration, or anything else associated with this website; it is all a labor of love. Glibs accepts monetary contributions to pay the server bills, but such contributions are entirely voluntary and don’t get you any special privileges, tote bags or invitations to cocktail parties.

Glibs was born of a difference of opinion with the operators of Reason.com (TOS, formally “the other site”), the online presence of the Reason Foundation who also publish Reason magazine. Prior to the founding of Glibs, this community’s online home was the comments section of Reason where some of us had been since the very beginning of the Gillespie years, having followed him over from the seminal Suck.com website.

Tensions elevated during the Woodchipper Incident in 2015 when Reason found itself subpoenaed by the federal government because of comments left on their website.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, it was increasingly obvious that TOS was betraying core libertarian principles and blatantly succumbing to Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). Glibs is not a Pro-Trump site, but neither are we willing to buy into the hysteria and ally ourselves with progressives just because #orangemanbad. Most of us here do not like Trump, but we do realize that we would have been worse off with a Clinton presidency, if only for SCOTUS appointments.

The decisive incident came when the mother of one of TPTB was the victim of police brutality during the course of her official duties as a school nurse tending to an injured athlete during the course of a school sporting event. This incident was documented by the local press. TPTB whose mother was assaulted reported this to TOS, along with a link to the news report, and asked for some coverage. By any objective standard, this incident would have at least deserved mention in the AM Links or PM Links, the two regular daily weekday features at TOS. “Too local,” was their response.

Rather than continue to hang out at a place at which we, and more importantly our ideas, were increasingly unwelcome, TPTB decided to put up a website, and the rest is history. Here is the mission statement from our first day:

As to the tone of the enterprise – I would not seek to impose any rules on anyone else, but here are the things I’m going to strive for: no backbiting of H&R, Reason or the Reason Staff in editorial content. I don’t want this to be a bitchfest. I don’t want this to turn into something that only exists to react against something else. That way lies the shrill pettiness of blogs like “A Smarter Andrew Sullivan,” “Sully Watch” and (gods help us) “Sully Watch Watch.” Reactions to the writings of others are always fair game.

I believe that we have achieved that so far, and I am damn proud of us all for having done so. My initial fear was that we would have a good opening week or weeks, but then article submissions would drop off, then the morning and afternoon links would become intermittent and finally stop. But we persisted, and today, two and a half years after going live, we consistently have enough material to keep up a full publishing schedule with two links posts and at least two other posts every weekday. Yay, us.

So here you are in the worst little political chatroom on the interwebs, with a bunch of yokels; deplorables, even. Prickly, antisocial contrarians, the lot of us. And all our guns, pot, ass-sex, and Mexicans. It’s a nice place, very clean and family friendly! People are courteous about things that really matter. But learning what is humor and what isn’t can often be tricky. And we sometimes have legitimate disagreements about what is and isn’t acceptable.

Generally, if someone posts a comment with a position diametrically opposed to libertarian thought, i.e. advocating for higher taxes, more government, less freedom, less accountability, you can assume that person is being sarcastic or making a joke. Remember that a perfectly-executed parody is indistinguishable from the real thing. Don’t be that noob who doesn’t get the joke and tries to establish cred by flaming someone else. Because then you have to go and see Warty in his special basement “training” room.

In-jokes–yes, there are a ton of them. Too many for me to catalog here, but I encourage others to do so in the comments below. Which leads to our image as a cliquish, insular place. Yes, we are; but not deliberately so. Many of us have known each other online for decades. It is hard to break into a community like that; not because we aren’t open to outsiders, but it does take a while to establish cred here. And there may be some people who just plain ignore you.

What if you agree with libertarians on some things, but think we are whacked on other things? Debate us honestly, or decide to treasure those areas where your opinions align with ours. The greater liberty community is already too small and wracked by internal strife. For me, it was a long engagement with the Iron Laws which finally brought me around.

Welcome to our house.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

497 Comments

  1. Animal

    Fuck off, Tulpa.

    • AlexinCT

      Seconded!

  2. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Worst chat room ever.

    • Tres Cool

      Worst dating site ever.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        That’s because there are no libertarian women.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Homophobe.

      • Fourscore

        Open to disagreement, IYKWIMAITYD

      • Brett L

        I guess this is a good place to put in the Libertarian Breeding Project joke? Sloopy and Banjos have 3 girls, I have two boys who are the same age. We’ve already opened negotiations on arranged marriages.

      • Drake

        Wow! How much do 2nd generation purebreed libertarian kids go for?

      • Mojeaux

        I converted my apolotical husband to the gospel of libertarianism and I am teaching my kids libertarian principles, even if I don’t CALL it libertarianism.

        XY is a natural-born shitlord, but then this happened:

        He got a new weedwacker he said he wanted to do a review on. He contacted the school district to see if he could cut some of their stuff down. He even went online and bought his own 24-hour insurance policy. I had to sign off, but *I* thought he was getting paid, so I was proud mama.

        Dude calls me up and says, “You’re okay with this?”

        I’m like, “Sure. Now, about pay…”

        He says, “Oh, we’ll waive the fees, since he’s actually doing work and not reserving the property for a party or anything. We’ll get a good two hours of work out of him, don’t worry.”

        My head exploded and I yelled at my kid for a good ten minutes with this guy on the phone that he is NEVER TO WORK FOR FREE, especially to someone who can pay him.

        So I got back on the phone and said, “You heard that, right?”

        He laughed and said, “Yeah. Okay.”

      • Ozymandias

        ALPHA ShitLord Status Unlocked!

        /bows down to Mojeaux’s Mojo

      • Agent Cooper

        Purebreeding or inbreeding? It’s a fine line.

      • Gadfly

        Por que no los dos?

        If you trace anyone’s family tree back far enough, everyone is the product of at least some degree of inbreeding.

      • Agent Cooper

        My parents are 6th cousins.

    • Timeloose

      Good evening, we’re Glibertairians and we suck.

  3. OneOut

    Whatever was the result of the incident with Sloopy’s mom ?

    • Tonio

      I honestly don’t know.

      As a general rule if you hear about someone pursuing a legal remedy for something, then the party clams up about it, that often means that a settlement has been reached, one that includes a non-disclosure arrangement. Sometimes that is the best outcome one can reasonably hope to achieve.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        that often means that a settlement has been reached

        Last I heard, nope.

        Silence is a.) a request from Sloopy’s dad, and b.) to prevent radicalizing the readers into storming the police HQ of Podunk, USA and hanging each and every one of those corrupt pieces of shit by their dicks from the nearest lamppost or tree branch.

  4. Aloysious

    One of the best things about this place is that there are no Tony’s. Or shrikes. Or Mary’s.

    And that apostrophe use’ is unregulated.

    • Fourscore

      “And that apostrophe use’ is unregulated”

      But not unnoticed

    • Aloysious

      What do you know.

      Avatars’ automatically update. Thats’ cool.

    • Jarflax

      VICIOUSLY ignored by Paulista BULLY Aloysious

      SNICKER

      • Aloysious

        Yeah, I forgot that stoopid Hhin and his math.

      • Ozymandias

        I STILL CAN’T DECIDE IF HE WAS EVEN REAL!!!1!1!!!!!

        QUIT ATTACKING ME WITH YOUR VIOLENCE!@#!^$#!@$%*#^%

      • Aloysious

        Yo Ozy, thanks for your articles. Eye openers, to be’ sure.

      • Ozymandias

        My pleasure! I’m very grateful to TPTB for a place to exorcise my personal demons conduct my therapy in public tell my Glibertarian origin story.

      • Fourscore

        There are things we know and things we don’t know. The new things we are learning are reinforcements to some of the other things we believe in. Thanks for your stuff, Ozyman

  5. The Hyperbole

    Prickly, antisocial contrarians, the lot of us.

    I’m not.

    • AlexinCT

      YES YOU ARE!

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I am. I refuse to tow the lion.

    • MikeS

      Sounds about right.

  6. PieInTheSky

    nobody gets paid for writing – HEI I totally expect free beer if I ever get to America

    • PieInTheSky

      invitations to cocktail parties. – HEI I totally expect a cocktail party if I ever get to America

      • Rasilio

        are you sure you want a cock-tail party with a bunch of weed smoking ass sex lovin mexicans?

    • PieInTheSky

      And all our guns – i feel othered

      • Tonio

        I’m sure a shooting range visit could be arranged should you ever visit.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Apparently, I live right around the corner from Syria, according to ABC.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It’s a helluva range.

    • PieInTheSky

      advocating for higher taxes – only on land (particularly land used to grow lumber)

      • AlexinCT

        Are you talking about people getting wood? Please potato, no linx to Demi…

    • Brett L

      I’m sure individual members will attempt to drown you in free beer if you make arrangements. Just, uh, make sure you’ve clearly demarcated your sexual boundaries before drinking rum with Jesse.

      • AlexinCT

        Please do tell more….

      • Brett L

        jesse.in.mb has admitted to getting “handsy” when rum drunk. Just take a spray bottle of water with you and spritz him in the face like a cat if he does. I’m still trying to figure out how to make a, uh, custom batch of rum and get labels printed — “Glibs All Hands Rum”. Probably won’t happen in time for this Christmas. But when it does, I’ll take pictures.

      • Sean

        I detect a bit of regret in that piece of advice.

      • Tundra

        I read it more as wistful.

      • Mojeaux

        Sean wins the internet.

      • Sean

        Woohoo!

      • TARDIS

        Congrats, your prize is minus 30 to your IQ.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And carpal tunnel syndrome.

      • Jarflax

        He regrets only bringing vodka when he met Jesse.

    • Nephilium

      If you make it to the Cleveland area, just let me know how many of our breweries you want to try to hit in a day.

    • Jarflax

      If you are ever in Cincinnati, I will buy you lunch or dinner with beverages of your choice (Ok, I’ll probably cry uncle if you order anything in the $300 a bottle and up range).

      • Ozymandias

        Pie – Don’t listen to these pikers. Come to Arizona, the Romania of the US. (It is known).
        We have guns, weed, mexicans, and… well, all the pleasures a displaced Transylvanian could want.

      • Jarflax

        You have daytime temperatures that his 120 (49 in your degrees, and YES that is the correct number)

    • CPRM

      *Shoves shoebox full of Patreon money under the bed* Yes, nobody gets paid by the site. That’s what he said, fight?

      • UnCivilServant

        The rattle of unrolled pennies is distinctive.

  7. PieInTheSky

    don’t throw around racist slurs, and don’t attack other people – gay

    • Lackadaisical

      I almost did this, but i never know where the line is here… plus I’m not that juvenile. 😉

      • Tonio

        It’s right here, buddy.

        ——————-

      • AlexinCT

        Ooooh!…

      • Lackadaisical

        Shit, now I have posts on both sides of it.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        I’m not your buddy, pal!

      • Tonio

        Juvenile bluster is what we are known for.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        My ears are burning.

        No, they’re really burning. I lit a q-tip to see inside.

      • pistoffnick

        I think there is a cream that can help with that.

  8. Lackadaisical

    “but we do realize that we would have been worse off with a Clinton presidency, if only for SCOTUS appointments.”

    Missed a perfectly good chance to intone “but Gorsuch”.

    Incidentally, I only know of one non-libertarian glib. Any others?

    • Tres Cool

      UCS made it clear the other day that he doesn’t identify as libertarian, I believe

      • Lackadaisical

        Yup, he’s the only one I know of for sure.

      • PieInTheSky

        Its the Mexicans really, he is down for the ass sex

      • AlexinCT

        Does he identify as a Gigantic half-Platinum Dragon half-Celestial like I do?

      • Fourscore

        I met UCS and anyone that likes bees has to be all right in my book.

    • pistoffnick

      I believe there are some anarchists here.

      Me personally? I think vending machines should sell guns and beer right next to the used panties.

      FUCK OFF, SLAVER!

      • pistoffnick

        And coke

      • AlexinCT

        Classic or new?

      • pistoffnick

        Pepsi

      • Ozymandias

        We fix!

      • Lackadaisical

        I’ve never thought libertarians had to be Minarchists. I’ve always lumped ancaps together under a libertarian umbrella.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The Dallas accords are dead, bro.

      • prolefeed

        Some infighting by the national LP resulting in people being tossed out of the big tent doesn’t mean people here have to abide by it. That would be like saying the Constitution means whatever 5 or more SCOTUS judges say it means.

      • pistoffnick

        I think libertarians don’t go far enough.

        An-Caps go ALL THE WAY!

      • Unreconstructed

        My personal opinion is that some minimal government is necessary, due to human nature. The same human nature that ultimately derails any collectivist ideal. Coincidentally, for much the same reason (though with different manifestations). Anarchism is, IMNSHO, is unrealistic Utopianism (though it’s a very *nice* ideal).

      • Emmerson Biggins

        Ditto. Minarchists and Ancaps are pure subsets of libertarians in my mind.

    • Naptown Bill

      I don’t think of myself as a libertarian so much as a classical liberal, which is probably the same thing except more uptight.

      • TARDIS

        Sounds like a good article.

      • Naptown Bill

        It’d be a short one if I wrote it, ironically enough. I think the distinction is largely one of style rather than substance. For me, it comes from a desire to tie into traditional, historically-grounded ideas about liberty rather than a radical, revolutionary change. I see our society as having strayed from a more optimal set of values regarding individual liberty and the power of the state rather than striving towards a future unprecedented society, so more conservative in nature than radical. Regressive, even, in a positive way. Also, there’s a cultural connotation to the term “libertarian” that doesn’t really fit me. So, like I say, it’s almost entirely a matter of personal taste rather than any substance.

      • TARDIS

        Also, there’s a cultural connotation to the term “libertarian” that doesn’t really fit me. So, like I say, it’s almost entirely a matter of personal taste rather than any substance.

        To me, that’s what is interesting about YOU PEOPLE. A couple of well written anecdotes are good enough to stir the pot around here because the basic core beliefs seem to revolve around personal freedom, self-reliance, and (don’t laugh) compassion.

      • Lackadaisical

        *takes down Bill’s name*

        Thank you for your assistance.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I’m more conservatarian in some ways, but were I forced (aggression!!!) to say, ld say I’m a libertarian.

    • Drake

      I’m libertarianish. I think there are some big logic flaws in embracing it too tightly.

      • Mojeaux

        I was talking to an Objectivist once and said, “I do not think you can have kids and be an Objectivist.” (Meaning, practice objectivism.) She just raised one eyebrow at me.

        Kids demand EVERYTHING, and you cannot practice enlightened self-interest with them until they hit a certain age and can be tricked. Alas, I was never that creative, especially not on my feet.

      • Jarflax

        Objectivism is Classical Liberalism minus any of that icky kindness and empathy. It is immoral to force me to help others, Rand was correct about that. It is incoherent to claim that you must put others ahead of yourself. Rand was correct about that. It is moral to offer aid out of your surplus to those in need, and to offer aid even at the price of some sacrifice to those you love. She was wrong about that.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Objectivism is probably where I would’ve landed if I had stayed agnostic. To me, it is pure rationality taken to its logical conclusion.

      • Mojeaux

        Rand’s and Isabel Paterson’s (possibly Rose Wilder Lane’s) falling out had to do with the existence of God.

        Good friends all torn apart by bitter philosophical differences.

        Plus ça change…

      • Don Escaped Texas

        agnostic

        Is pluralism rare? There are so many things about how I live my life that are conservative by, say, Shafley standards, and yet I have zero interest in much arguing behavior much less legislating it. Marry a goat, inhale, run with scissors: I just don’t care. It’s so natural to me to leave others alone as the obvious price of being left alone; this is my American ideal.

        Can’t there be, shouldn’t there be, a huge space between our ideals for our own conduct and our greater political philosophy?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Can’t there be, shouldn’t there be, a huge space between our ideals for our own conduct and our greater political philosophy?

        I’d be a shitty libertarian if my answer to this was “no”. Rand seemed to cross that line from political to personal, and that’s a line I could have seen myself crossing if I were the same person I was 10 years ago.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Mine was just a general statement posing as a question, of course.

        As for me and my house, we go a certain way. As to which police agencies I wish to be taxed to fund, it would be as few as needed for the laws, also as few as needed.

      • Naptown Bill

        See, I always thought she was saying that sacrificing of yourself isn’t sacrifice if you want to do it, so that’s ok. In other words, you can “selfishly” help other people before taking care of yourself if the act of giving rewards you in some fashion more than not giving. But I’m not sure that’s really saying anything useful if that’s really what she meant.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, I get that line of thinking and I can agree–to a point. Rand herself even said “If kids is what you want, go for it.”

        However, with kids, there comes a point where you MUST give your whole self whether you want to or not, whether you are physically or mentally capable of doing it. It’s kind of a twenty-year commitment (or more, if you have more than one kid) and it really never ends.

        I believe that Rand’s view is that one must always be HAPPY with being “selfish” instead of having periods of self-doubt, unhappiness, questioning, fatigue, shellshock, whatever it is that trips up normal humans.

        Her heroes were idealized, but it didn’t seem to me that she gave an inch for anyone in real life, either.

        Tangentially, her heroes did not always hew to the standard:

        For instance, Roark didn’t pay rent on his garret office for months and his landlord just shrugged and said, “Okay.”

      • prolefeed

        Kids demand EVERYTHING, and you cannot practice enlightened self-interest with them until they hit a certain age and can be tricked.

        As a parent, “enlightened self-interest” means approximately “I didn’t kill or maim any of the buggers despite provocation, and I’m acting in a way that will likely result in them being self-sufficient and not a total dick when they get bigger.” It’s not that you can’t be a libertarian with your kids, it’s that creatively finding non-violent ways that make their misbehavior something they have a strong incentive to correct takes some practice.

      • Mojeaux

        not that you can’t be a libertarian with your kids

        Oh, I can be a libertarian. See upthread re the Shitlord Rant I directed at my son.

        I can’t be an objectivist.

        As a parent, “enlightened self-interest” means approximately “I didn’t kill or maim any of the buggers despite provocation, and I’m acting in a way that will likely result in them being self-sufficient and not a total dick when they get bigger.”

        This is very reassuring.

    • Akira

      Incidentally, I only know of one non-libertarian glib. Any others?

      The impression I got is that Glibs run the gamut from libertarian-leaning conservative to anarcho-capitalist.

      Of course, I don’t think there’s anything close to a consensus on what a libertarian actually is. I think of it as “little to no government”, but I’ve had an-caps tell me that I’m not really a libertarian because I see some government as necessary or inevitable for the foreseeable future.

  9. Mojeaux

    Gilmore’d: Putting a reply in the wrong thread.

    SF’d: Not doing a pretty link right so it doesn’t lead anywhere.

    Brooks’d: Putting a reply to something in a new thread.

    • Tonio

      Finally! Thanks Mojeaux.

      Towing the Lion: deliberate trolling for grammar Nazis, also an in-joke

      • Mojeaux

        Towing the Lion

        We have another one like that, don’t we?

        ‘ misplaced apostrophes are a thing.

        cunte and cod (dick) — that one’s new

      • Mojeaux

        Totally missed the opportunity.

        Misplaced apostrophe’s are a thing.

      • Rhywun

        +1 hateful

      • Naptown Bill

        In my head, I pronounce this “k-YOU-nt”, or sometimes “k-YOU-ntee” for no good reason at all.

      • Mojeaux

        That seems to be the debate around here.

        I see it like “ye olde shoppe”. E is not pronounced.

      • Naptown Bill

        About ten, maybe fifteen years ago an old Montgomery Ward’s was torn down and the first mixed-use shopping compound was built like just outside the city limits, and they decided to name it the Annapolis Towne Centre. This is funny because a.) it’s in a place called Parole, which is not technically Annapolis, and b.) Annapolis already has an actual “town center” that’s 300+ years old and has fewer “e”s. So, in derision, we call it the Towney Centrey.

      • Mojeaux

        To be fair, considering the accents, particularly my heroine’s Scottish one, in my mind, I hear it from her as “coont.”

        She calls her mum “moom,” which I think is hilarious, but IMO, an accurate representation of how she’d say it.

  10. Sean

    Origin stories are quite the rage these days.

    • Jarflax

      Well Sean, when a Daddy or Mommy with a vagina loves a Daddy or Mommy with a penis very much…

      • Sean

        Which one is wearing the ball gag and which one is wearing the buttplug?

      • Jarflax

        #whynotboth

  11. Tundra

    Looking back, I got the narrowed gaze on the very first day.

    So that’s something.

    Amazing people. Amazing content. Amazing place.

    I’ve been fortunate enough to meet quite a number of You People out in the world and it’s been a true privilege (even you Jimbo!).

    Thanks for writing this up, Tonio. It’s always good to remember why.

    • Mojeaux

      It took me a year and a half to get a narrowed gaze. *harrumph*

      • Animal

        Mrs. Animal once got a narrowed gaze – LIVE.

      • AlexinCT

        Only once? You are not doing it right, man…

      • Animal

        By LIVE I mean “in person,” and since we live about a thousand miles from Swiss, opportunities are few.

    • pistoffnick

      “You People”?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

      • mindyourbusiness

        Whaddya mean, “You People”, buddy?

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        He’s not your buddy, pal.

      • MikeS

        Christ, what an asshole!

    • Timeloose

      I appreciate the capitalized You People.

  12. Mojeaux

    I think this is extraordinarily helpful and needs to go in FAQs.

    I know of one lurker who “knows” all of us but is a little hesitant of dipping toes.

    I know of two lurkers who just enjoy the shitshow.

    Many many lurkers who should come out of the shadows and talk!

    • straffinrun

      I’ve got the silent lurker majority locked up.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        In Warty’s dungeon?

      • AlexinCT

        In the basement? Or the attic? please don’t say sex dungeon…

      • straffinrun

        ^Lesson one on euphemisms.

    • Tonio

      Thanks!

    • Aplut Ton

      I am a chronic lurker and have been “observing” the lot of you since early 2015 on TOS. Thankfully, I was allowed by TPTB to emigrate to Libertopia, and have been safely lurking ever since.

      One reason I don’t comment very often is due to my schedule. The threads tend to be quite ripe by the time I get around to them, and nobody likes a mushy thread. I’ve considered necro-posting on older threads, but I imagine that is either frowned-upon or pointless.

      I appreciate all of the work the staff, submitters, and commentariat do to keep things fresh, and I try to donate when I can.

      Now, back to the rafters.

      • MikeS

        Fuck off Tulpa!

      • Aplut Ton

        You like me!

      • Mojeaux

        Fuck off, Tulpa!

      • Aplut Ton

        You really, really like me!

      • Mojeaux

        Yeup. Come out of the woodwork more often.

      • TARDIS

        Some people are just here to hear you say cunte. Plus, your duck fetish is …interesting.

        So, who is agent lurker that knows???

      • Mojeaux

        I only say “fuck a duck” when I’ve Gilmore’d.

      • SDF-7

        Yup — I comment a bit, but most of the time I lurk for much the same reason. Jumping into threads after a couple of hours here seems pretty pointless.

      • Naptown Bill

        It’s tough especially if you live in one of the other, lesser time zones, such as anything other than EST, which is where God first shines the light of the Sun upon these United States of America.

      • Nephilium

        Not entirely accurate…

        Puerto Rico is in AST, which is GMT -4.

      • UnCivilServant

        Territories don’t count.

      • prolefeed

        I don’t quite lurk, but despite being retired, I’m generally busier doing productive shite than I ever was in a payin’ job. So normally I just read the links and get back to painting or landscaping or whatever.

      • mock-star

        “One reason I don’t comment very often is due to my schedule.”

        Samesies.

      • Libertesian

        Ditto… However, I’m glad that I found the time to meet OMWC, Mojeaux, and Mr. Mojeaux IRL.

    • SP

      Yes, part of the original plan was letting this live on the FAQs/Resources page.

  13. straffinrun

    Noobs, be sure to step all over people’s jokes and post the implied punchline. When you do that, the joke becomes yours.

    • Fourscore

      I got caught !

    • Mad Scientist

      You know who else stepped all over people?

      • Jarflax

        Nancy Sinatra?

      • Agent Cooper

        The Dwarf Masseuse?

  14. Lackadaisical

    ” It is hard to break into a community like that; not because we aren’t open to outsiders, but it does take a while to establish cred here. And there may be some people who just plain ignore you.”

    Always seems more likely to me that the person just didn’t see your response or had nothing to add to it. People here always open up to newbies, or so it seems.

    • Tonio

      STEVE SMITH OPEN UP NOOBS

      • AlexinCT

        /nods

    • Rebel Scum

      just didn’t see your response or had nothing to add to it

      Yeah. None of us even work.

    • Mad Scientist

      it does take a while to establish cred here

      Social credit!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I get annoyed when someone says they are going OT in the links. To me, the links are an open thread, with some suggested linkage for discussion.

      Is this incorrect? Please guide me Zardoz.

      • The Hyperbole

        Sounds about right.

      • PieInTheSky

        I agree. there is not OT in the links. But if I am there in the first 15 minutes I try to comment on at least one link before. And I am there most days as it is 3 PM and I m bored at work

      • Tonio

        Thanks, Pie. As a contributor I think it’s really nice for there to be a small window of time where people try to stay on-topic, particularly for fiction and opinion pieces. There are of course exceptions to that such as breaking news. I would encourage everyone to use your best judgement and treat the comments as you would for a piece you had written.

      • AlexinCT

        Sage advice there Tonio.

      • Fourscore

        #metoo

      • PieInTheSky

        I generally do not go OT until late in non links pieces or most often at all. I was speaking of the links.

      • Brett L

        We do ask for 30 minutes before cheesecake/beefcake posts or other hobby-horses that become regular “commenter driven content” in the links comments. The few people who like to tag in their own themed links have been good sports about respecting the request.

      • Gender Traitor

        Needz moar beefcake.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Jesse (was is Jesse?) wrote some fair notes about respecting the effort put into delivering the links.

        Since I know it takes me at least two hours to write a simple post and add a few pictures, I can’t argue his point. The 30 minutes flies by, anyway, when you’re having fun.

      • Jarflax

        I’d argue more about links and their link back to H&R and the lack of an actual topic to go off of other than annoying or funny crap that popped up in a news feed, but since I am almost never around when links posts drop and I actually do read them I’d just be arguing because I am a libertarian and therefore reflexively resist rules. 🙂

      • Lackadaisical

        ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS QUESTIONING ONE. THIS IS CORRECT. NOW GO FORTH AND CLEANSE THE WORLD OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS.

      • straffinrun

        If the links were bad, which they never are, why go OT when the news of the day is covered? I could see adding a supplementary link, but otherwise you should probably wait a while.

      • PieInTheSky

        My problem with the links is not wanting to re-link something that was in previous links comments. I sometimes search the night links which I am absent for keywords, but you people often link stuff with text that does not contain the keywords in the title of the piece

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Monocle Eyepiece let’s you know when you’re posting links that are already posted on the page.

      • grrizzly

        But you have to pledge your allegiance to Google to use it.

      • Rhywun

        Nope. It works on any browser that supports user scripts – i.e. all the major ones.

      • PieInTheSky

        that seems like to hard to use for me to try

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I should do an updated tutorial on how to install and use Eyepiece.

        Also, anybody who knows the difference between CSS and JQuery is welcome to pull a branch and improve Eyepiece (or even original Monocle). Just let me know and I’ll get you added to the repo.

      • Rhywun

        BTW support returned to the latest version of Safari today and I couldn’t be happier.

    • Spartacus

      Bravo used to have a Battle of the Nutcrackers during the four or five weeks before Christmas. they showed several different versions, one a week, ranging from very traditional royal ballet kind of stuff to some very avant-garde takes. It’s really too bad they stopped, because Mrs. S and I have seen so many traditional nutcrackers (often Mrs. S helping with the choreography) that we are kind of tired of them.

      • Naptown Bill

        That sort of thing really isn’t my bag, but I would like to take my daughter to see The Nutcracker. I remember as a young kid I could take or leave the dancing but I thought the sets and costumes were pretty cool. She’s 4, so she’s at that sweet spot where the local amateur production is going to look like Broadway to her.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Hitler?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      You know who else?

    • Tonio

      The beloved Godwin Troll: “You know who else [performed action]?” where the obvious and correct answer is “Hitler,” but the winner is the person giving the best non-Hitler answer.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        Falco?

      • Count Potato

        That’s way older than TOS. I remember it from the largely text-only internet of usenet and majordomo back in the before time.

  16. Certified Public Asshat

    What is the backstory to UCS and driving gloves?

    • straffinrun

      Heh, I had a hand it that. Really.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        fingered yourself!?

      • AlexinCT

        What? Just one hand? Shit, you think you are Michael Jackson or some such shitshow?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Is it just that he declared he wears gloves every time he drives?

      • straffinrun

        I just gave him shit for it and it stuck. He claims he doesn’t want to get sunburnt.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        He deserves ridicule if that is the case.

      • AlexinCT

        You ever try to yank your crank with sunburned hands, brah? You would be wearing gloves too if that happened….

      • Certified Public Asshat

        That reminds me of a story…
        In high school my friend was making out with a girl in his car when she went to give him a HJ. He stopped her because there was no lube.

      • Naptown Bill

        In high school I would’ve let a girl hit me in the face with a hammer if she promised to touch my dick afterwards. Now, in a competition between sex and a really good nap the nap’s going to win 90% of the time.

      • Sean

        To keep from getting sunburned, right?

      • MikeS

        Yes. He is convinced that he sunburned his hands while on a driving trip. He made the tactical error of admitting as such and the rest is history.

      • Fourscore

        Its been verified

    • Naptown Bill

      Relevant.

      I believe it’s perfectly acceptable to wear driving gloves if you’re driving an Aston Martin DB5 convertible.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        or a B61

      • Certified Public Asshat

        What about a Ford C-Max?

      • Naptown Bill

        Well, like they say, there’s a reason it’s called a “glove box”, so I think these are both acceptable alternatives.

  17. Don Escaped Texas

    The shitlord caricature is hilarious. A loose tribe of proprietors and professionals is drawn as tophat- and monocle-wearing slavers of orphans and despoilers of all conventions accepted in the past decade.

    • Naptown Bill

      /drops monocle, stashes top hat, kicks orphan under the table

      “Yeah, caricature. That’s the ticket!”

  18. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Topics that can lead to un-resolved infighting

    abortion
    circumcision
    Single Land Tax
    Deep Dish Pizza

    • Brett L

      Resolved topics:
      Ham and pineapple on pizza is a wood-chippering offense
      Beto is a Furry

      • Tundra

        Mmmm. Wood-fired pizza with pineapple…

        Sorry, what were you saying?

      • Jarflax

        Pineapple may be settled, but there is nothing wrong with ham or Canadian bacon, ham’s identical twin.

      • MikeS

        *slaps Jarflax with white glove*

        Ham is NOT the same as Canuck bacon!

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        You keep right on believing that

      • MikeS
      • Naptown Bill

        …mmmmmm, fatback….

      • bacon-magic

        I’m not a Canuckistani! #fakenews

    • Aloysious

      Also:

      Real chili is made without beans. Chili goes on the beans.

      • pistoffnick

        “Real chili is made without beans.”

        Preach it, brotha!

      • PieInTheSky

        barbarian food chili… us sophisticated Europeans avoid it

      • Aloysious

        “Of course you realize, this means war!”

        /Bugs Bunny

    • PieInTheSky

      abortion – at will first trimester, restricted second, mostly no third unless mothers life is in danger

      circumcision should be illegal

      Single Land Tax is better than most other taxes

      Deep Dish Pizza – never had it but sounds dismal. Pizza should be made like in Napoli, where love i king, when boy meets girl

      • Naptown Bill

        Deep dish is fine, it’s just not pizza. Deep dish pizza is to pizza as a whale shark is to cetaceans.

      • Rasilio

        abortion – at will first trimester, restricted second, mostly no third unless mothers life is in danger

        Why would you allow abortion if they mothers life is in danger in the third trimester? Third trimester starts at 27 weeks, Babies born after the 26th week of gestation have a greater than 90% chance of surviving. I am aware of no health condition which would result in greater odds of survival for the mother based on whether the fetus is terminated prior to delivering it, and that late in the pregnancy you are delivering it one way or another.

        Not directing this at you personally because a lot of people would agree with your stance here but all it does is shows that they are making an emotional argument not a fact based one.

        There is one and only one reason to allow third trimester abortions and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the mothers health. It is when the fetus is discovered to have severe defects. Now we can argue over exactly where to draw that line of what is a severe enough defect to justify aborting a baby who would likely otherwise be born live but clearly there are some defects which will result in 0 probability of the fetus surviving 24 hours post birth and you have to be a cruel heartless bastard to tell a woman that she has no choice but to continue to carry that child for another 3 months only to then watch it die a painful death just because you are afraid that some unscrupulous dr somewhere will invent a reason to abort an otherwise healthy fetus in the 3rd trimester

      • PieInTheSky

        I just feel this issue to be objectively unsolvable and am thinking of a compromise… Maybe your way is better… or like if the baby won’t make it anyway

      • Naptown Bill

        My understanding is that babies are viable at the third trimester, so at that point you’re talking Caesarian rather than abortion for whatever risks to the mother may arise. Most severe defects become detectable in the second trimester, or cause miscarriages by then. As you say, with rare exceptions, if a baby makes it to the third trimester they’ll survive for at least a little while past birth.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        So you can kill a child but god forbid you slice off a piece of its skin?

      • PieInTheSky

        less global warming that way…

        I am unsure when a child becomes such. Sometime between conception and birth, but when?

      • PieInTheSky

        I find abortion very morally questionable myself, but am not sure about what I can support government / laws to do about it

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I just find it odd that one would be willing to accept the greater harm of destroying a living thing (regardless of questions of personhood, etc.) but be willing to use the threat of force through the state to prevent what, at worst, can be considered non-consensual cosmetic surgery. FGM, sure, you are removing the entire organ, but cutting off a foreskin doesn’t do shit except lessen the production of smegma.

      • Naptown Bill

        Allegedly it also reduces the risk of cancer, through some mechanism I cannot begin to imagine. With Naptown Jr. en route, this is a topic of concern in our house. Doubly so since my wife just forwarded a link to an article about circumcision with the message, “I’m gonna let you handle this.”

      • PieInTheSky

        I can see reason for abortion. Not so for circumcision.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        “I’m gonna let you handle this.”

        I’ll let the trained pro’s do the cutting, hun.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not so for circumcision.

        Other than a couple millenia of Judean tradition?

        For non-Jews it came into fashion in the 60’s and 70’s. Dad always says I’m missing out because I can’t lop a piece off and use it for fishing bait in an emergency.

      • Naptown Bill

        I’m torn about the whole thing, because on the one hand it was good enough for me and a lot of chicks don’t dig the turtleneck, but on the other hand why go swinging a bladed instrument around there unless you absolutely have to?

      • Mojeaux

        I am flummoxed by the existence of both third-trimester abortions and NICUs.

        Which is it, people? Make up your mind.

        While I am generally anti-elective-abortion, I am also anti-heroic-efforts to save a life that would have otherwise passed in a natural process. I am also anti-heroic-efforts to keep dying people alive when they don’t want to be.

        Generally, however, these are choices other people make and do not affect me in the least bit.

        I am ambivalent about the circumcision debate; however, my husband was adamant that XY be circumcised. He’s got a cod so he got to make the decision.

        All I can say is that circumcised cods are more attractive to me than uncircumcised ones.

      • pistoffnick

        “All I can say is that circumcised cods are more attractive to me than uncircumcised ones.”

        Ah, ma’am, That’s an invitation for dick pics.

      • Mojeaux

        Uh oh… I’m in trouble now.

      • BakedPenguin

        re: Deep Dish.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      This just in. Lou Reed is still dead.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      From the pic it looks like a heroin addict…

    • Timeloose

      I was there when it happened. It was quite funny, she went crowd surfing and came back on stage and said one of you MFers stole my ring.

      • Sean

        I was there when it happened.

        You’re a teenage girl?

        *puzzled*

      • Timeloose

        It was a three day outdoor festival. She was on one of the main stages and my group and I were surrounded 1 hour prior to her show. She is not my cup of tea. I was unable to get to Gary Clark Jr. who I wanted to see. So my crew and I stocked up on Pilsners and rode it out. The Cure was going to play on the same stage after her.

        The Cure’s performance was one of the best show’s I’ve seen in a long time.

      • Timeloose

        BTW it was the Austin City Limits Festival.

      • Sean

        So my crew and I stocked up on Pilsners and rode it out. The Cure was going to play on the same stage after her.

        *clicks like button*

      • Naptown Bill

        Holy shit, Robert Smith. I guess The Head on the Door was a long ass time ago.

      • Rhywun

        He really needs to give up that look.

      • Naptown Bill

        He looks like an actual bum. It’s like if somebody’s dad went as Robert Smith to a Halloween party.

      • Timeloose

        He sounded better than he did in 1989. Really incredible

      • Naptown Bill

        Growing up I was a huge, huge Cure fan. From 10 to about 19 it was non-stop goth rock with some industrial thrown in for variety’s sake.

      • Rhywun

        And you stopped?!

        JK but that stuff is still in my mix today.

      • Naptown Bill

        I mean, I stopped wearing eyeliner, silver jewelry, and smoking Camels, yeah. My tastes have broadened, but I still have Bobby Smith and some others from back in the day on rotation, though, for sure.

      • Sean

        It wants me to sign in to see the pics. I don’t have any of those other accounts either and refuse to use them.

      • Timeloose

        No Worries. I can’t post directly and i don’t want the wider Imgur community to comment on the pics.

      • Timeloose

        Let’s do a PA meet up and i’ll show you in person some time.

      • Rhywun

        Huh it doesn’t ask me to sign in. I don’t have an account there or anything.

      • Sean

        Let’s do a PA meet up and i’ll show you in person some time.

        Ok

      • MikeS

        You have your own crew?!

        *swoons*

      • Agent Cooper

        Should’ve ended The Cure after Disintegration. Sure, still make music, but not as The Cure.

      • BakedPenguin

        Yeah, it’s not as if they were ever going to top that one.

        Fascination Street is fun to play on the bass, but I guess that’s unsurprising.

      • Naptown Bill

        Disintegration was their best album, and one of the best albums when considered as an entire work ever made. They did other good individual songs since, but nothing like that.

      • Tundra

        Is this you?

        Can’t argue, though. I still listen frequently.

      • Sean

        Also, proving the point that virtually nothing is too obscure here.

      • invisible finger

        Billie Eilish is boring as hell, but not exactly obscure.

      • Sean

        He was actually at the event that was in the story. What were the odds of that?

      • Emmerson Biggins

        My kid was there. He said he touched here while she was crowd surfing. I’ll keep an eye out for new jewelry.

      • grrizzly

        I stopped listening to Alt Nation because there was too much Billie Eilish.

      • MikeS

        Who the hell is Billie Eilish?

      • Sean

        *hands MikeS an onion to hang on his belt*

        Now get out there and start yelling at some clouds.

      • MikeS

        Get off my lawn with your newfangled music!

        *throws onion*

      • MikeS

        I made it 90 seconds in and had to go find some ear bleach.

      • Aus

        You people and your old man music and flip phones…

      • Private Chipperbot

        I thought Billie Eilish was a chick. I’m serious. The songs are on Sirius constantly.

      • BakedPenguin

        Apropos of nothing, I was actually at this show. I didn’t see myself when I watched the video.

      • prolefeed

        Billie Eilish played at ACL Fest, and got a huge crowd for no apparent reason. I just don’t get the idol worship for a moderately talented 17 year old.

      • Naptown Bill

        Can’t listen at work and don’t want to disappoint myself, but does she do that thing that chicks started doing a few years back where they do this horrible, breathy, “pixie” voice thing? God that gets on my nerves. They all sound the same.

      • Agent Cooper

        My daughter likes Billie Eilish. She’s 12.

  19. Timeloose

    I was in the lurker category since the days of Joe at TOS. I decided to be more active in the comments once I came to the Glibs refugee camp. I’m very happy I did. The conversations and articles on topics of interest to the wide variety of people here have been informative, entertaining, and sometimes comforting. So thank you all for a place that feels like my group of friends. I’ve only met two of you in the real world, but it’s been a rewarding and fun experience both times.

    • Nephilium

      I found it much easier to post at TOS before they went to threaded comments. You could just note what the last comment was, post your comment, and read what was posted after the last comment. Once threading was introduced, it was too simple to miss new comments and replies if you posted (one thing I love about the unread comment indication here).

      • kinnath

        They introduced threading before the required registration. Spoofing someone else’s handle was not uncommon.

        I was spoofing Tony in one thread while talking about spoofing Tony in a different thread. I don’t remember who pissed me off enough to do that, but that person never caught on to me for more than a hour.

    • Fourscore

      I lurked back in the old days at TOS but John was just such a jerk I didn’t want to get involved. It went down hill in a hurry, haven’t been back since the Glibs became a really good option. Thanks to all that make this worth while to get up in the morning.

    • Aus

      Same. I posted rarely at TOS, became much more active here.

      Still never met any glibs in meatspace; if I wasn’t so lazy, I would plan an Ohio meetup.

      • Nephilium

        A couple of us met up with DEG while he was on a road trip, and another couple of us met up with UCS when he passed through. I’m not sure what those Dayton area folks do though.

      • Brett L

        We’ll send Warty.

      • Mad Scientist

        You should definitely make an effort to meet meatspace glibs. There’s always beer involved. But be prepared for 3-hour conversations about the proper way to cook eggs.

  20. Rhywun

    I had no idea the Woodchipper Affair made it into Wikipedia.

    • grrizzly

      You should insist on getting your very own Wiki entry.

    • LJW

      Has it been edited with a leftist bias yet?

      • Rhywun

        It’s admirably unbiased.

  21. Gustave Lytton

    Also, fried chicken.

  22. Mojeaux

    I want to note the depth and breadth of knowledge here, and express my gratitude for it. I don’t think I could have just dropped into any active blog and found someone who was an expert at obscure stuff I need to know.

    • LJW

      I credit this site for making me feel dumb every day. There’s some smart fellers in these parts of the interwebs.

      • Jarflax

        Not really, we are just very glib.

      • Mojeaux

        Can confirm.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        +1 IQ point

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ditto.

      • Mad Scientist

        This right here.

    • nw

      This is actually one of the reasons I don’t comment much.
      Usually by the time I’ve thought of something, someone
      else, who probably knows more than I do anyway, has
      already made whatever point I was going to. And I’m
      not really into trying to be the first one to get in
      a glib catchphrase.

      • Mojeaux

        Wasn’t sure if you were okay with me name-checking you. LOL

  23. Juvenile Bluster

    I was a semi-regular at TOS going back to 2006, coming from Balko’s old Agitator site. And while nothing will touch the time that David fucking Weigel wrote for Reason, and as much as I dislike Trump myself, the site did become unbearable around and after the election. I’m so glad this place came to exist. All the great things about TOS without suffering the trolls.

    • Nephilium

      I miss the Agitator and the pre-TDS Balko.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I believe that’s about the beginning of my involvement as well, under various pathetic pseudonyms, unlike my totally awesome one now.

    • Ozymandias

      JB, you nailed it. The comment section over there had degraded to the point where I looked around and was like, “Nope. no intelligent life here.” I felt guilty because to me it felt like the trolls won. They shit up the comments enough that it just became impossible to have cogent, rational discussion any more.

      • Shirley Knott

        That’s what drove me away. I’d heard of the Glibertarians but had never looked for, let alone at, the site. Decided to check it out; after six weeks or so I registered. I’m impressed with the quality of the people, the quality, and frequent oddness, of some of the in-comment links.

      • Mad Scientist

        Ozymandias is secretly Virginia Postrel!

      • Tundra

        *gets the Tequila bottle*

      • Emmerson Biggins

        combination of that, and the staff turning into communist dickweeds.

    • invisible finger

      I’m not a Trump hater, but I’m OK with the present and past POTUSes getting slammed. To be sure, they were borderline TDS cases over there, but the final straw for me was the ignorant shit from Dalmia. At least Bailey was civil when he (rightly) took shit for proposing mandatory health insurance back in the day, and would let it go for a couple weeks before broaching the subject again. Dalmia would double- and triple-down on teh stupid the same day when commenters made more-informed counterpoints.

    • OneOut

      I love Donald J Trump as President.

      I never liked him before. I was a Ted Cruz guy all the way.

      Now I love Trump.

      He is exactly what this country needed and still needs.

      He is shaking up the status quo and exposing the thieves for what and who they are.

      This Hunter Biden expose is opening a can of worms that just gets dirtier and dirtier every day.

      Now it has exposed Kerry and his SIL to so obvious shady shut.

      The Democrat party is being exposed as one large criminal enterprise from the bottom clear to the top.

      This would not have happened under any other President.

      Along with the decoupling from China by Western businesses Trump is going to go down in history as one of the most influential Presidents in our history.

      • OneOut

        For those of yu who are interested check out Lip Simpson on YouTube and Twitter .

        He shows how many low level local Democrats have been arrested from bribery and fraud.

        As a smart man just recently said on his radio show….there is so many of them covering for each other they have their hands so deep in the trough they have quit looking around to see if anyone is watching

  24. Ozymandias

    I lurked for a good while at TOS – I stayed a while after the exodus because I didn’t know where this place was. I recognized, however, that TOS had lost its way and I had a big sad.
    Then I found this place and huzzah! Now I can be publicly mocked for my grammar mistakes, my bad hockey, and my love of New England sports! (Suck it. I remember when they were ‘the Patsies’ and Steve Grogan was getting killed in the pocket, like a bobblehead doll got hit by a bowling ball. I also needed therapy after the 70s for ‘too many men on the ice’.)
    This is a wonderful place and I’m grateful for TPTB giving me a chance to share Glibertarian thoughts with fellow travelers. I’ve met maybe 10 or so folks in meatspace and it’s been all I hoped for and more each time. I’ll keep submitting for as long as we can keep it up. After society burns down, at least there’ll be a record of our thoughts & exploits for some generation to discover a thousand years from now.

    • pistoffnick

      “…a record of our thoughts & exploits for some generation to discover a thousand years from now”

      There goes your chance of ever being a politician! or Supreme Court judge.

      • Ozymandias

        I know for a fact there are some pictures from college that would prohibit any possible run at public office. I’ve even been shown a couple by the holder of said pictures after-the-fact because I had a blackout.
        PRO-TIP: Do not get into chugging contest with Wisconsin friend.
        PRO-PRO-TIP: Do not hold a party, take off all of your clothes, and walk around in your birthday suit trying to chat people up as if you are clothed.

      • nw

        “… Wisconsin friend”

        🙂 I always had fun going out with the guys from Texas when I worked down there.
        “We’ve had three, we went out drinking… um… wait, you’re ordering another one”
        “Three? I had three *before I left the house to go out drinking*. WTF. We’re just
        getting started.

      • Tundra

        Welcome nw!

        ‘Sconnie and Texas drinkers are jack-shit compared with old Russians. My neighbors came here from Belarus. Lovely people who invited me to join them for a family event. Being an ambassador for Minnesota Nice, I of course took every shot that grandma and grandpa did.

        Not sure how I made my way back two houses that night. I never drank with Russians again (other than beers with my hockey dudes).

        They are flat-out amazing.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My hopes and dreams are shattered….

      • Yusef Adama

        dude, I’d lose everything job I ever had if my boss/bosses ever read my posts……or yours, or HM, or SF, or bP

      • Ozymandias

        OT (from last thread): Yusef, do you have my gmail account?
        If you need to go to Cali to get some stuff out of storage, I have a pickup truck and would be willing to make a run some weekend.
        I’ll swing by your neck on my way from the valley and we can make it a road trip? Standing offer, if schedules work.

      • Yusef Adama

        Heck yeah, it will be a few weeks but we can work up something,

    • PieInTheSky

      I lurked 3 years at reason, about a month here I think.

    • Aus

      Took me a while to find the new hang-out. Noticed most the usual folks were gone and TOS was mostly just the trolls. Kept checking back and eventually someone dropped the glibs link or a hint, I don’t remember, but I’m very thankful I finally found it.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        #MeToo

        I was getting better at ignoring more and more at TOS, but then life drug me away for a year or something, and when I got back: where did the intelligent chat go? Not a scrap of sense was left, just partisan bickering.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Same here. Took a break from the TOS for a couple of years, came back around the election, and couldn’t believe how much the quality of the site in general and the comments section had fallen off. At some point one of the trolls said I belonged over here, so I checked it out.

      • Ozymandias

        That’s a compliment.

      • Mojeaux

        That is exactly how it was for me, but it didn’t take long for someone to link to here.

        I think it was the guy who used to write the long wall o’ text comments.

      • Rasilio

        Um, that might have been me since I have a habit of doing just that

      • Mojeaux

        Nope, Raven Nation got it in one. I was thinking “Steve,” but knew that wasn’t right.

      • Rasilio

        lol it would be funnier if you actually knew that my name actually is Steve

      • Raven Nation

        Ken?

      • Mojeaux

        That’s it!

    • Rasilio

      1986 man, worst year in history

      Starts off with the Pats losing in what may still be the most epic beatdown in NFL history, ends with Bill Fucking Buckner

      • Ozymandias

        The current run of NE teams is all karmic balancing as far as I’m concerned.
        I have no doubt the rest of my life will be like the first 30 or so years. (Celtics exception invoked, which you appear to be doing, because that 86 Celts team was among the best ever)

      • Nephilium

        Cleveland would like a word about bad sports teams.

      • MikeS

        Montana’s ‘Niners bitch-slapping Elway’s Broncos 55-10 was gloriously epic, too.

      • Agent Cooper

        Combined Boston championships since 1986: 10

        Go away.

      • Agent Cooper

        Forgot the Bruins and Celtics: 13. The Celtics won in 1986.

  25. Ozymandias

    And thank you for the write-up, Tonio. /fist bump

    • Shirley Knott

      +1

    • mindyourbusiness

      Much appreciated, Tonio!

  26. Fourscore

    More boating accidents per capita than anywhere else in the US or Canada.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Mystery really.

  27. Mojeaux

    OT (it’s been 30 minutes, hasn’t it?):

    Anybody got a decent replacement for winamp? Don’t judge me–I like Windows Media Player, but it makes my computer run hot, so I had to find an alternative. I got winamp (had it before) but it hangs up all the time. It never shuts down so I end up with 2 instances in Task Manager. I do not want to have to get used to a new media player, but it looks like I’m going to have to. I use Poweramp on my phone, but IIRC, it didn’t do well on PC or else I didn’t like it.

    • Nephilium

      What OS are you using?

      Have you tried VLC? I’ve used that for video, I still run the latest Winamp for the rare times I’m listening to audio on my PC instead of streaming it.

      • Mojeaux

        Win7, which will be pried out of my cold, dead hands.

      • Nephilium

        What version of Winamp are you using? The last version is 5.601, which I haven’t had any issues with on Win7, and my library has over 10,000 tracks in it.

      • Mojeaux

        5.8

      • Yusef Adama

        This^ is what you need, also works with Android

      • Mojeaux

        You are seconding VLC?

      • Yusef Adama

        yes, it’s very nice, and works with all media, not just audio, for PC and Android

      • Agent Cooper

        I run VLC and I have a Mac. It’s good.

      • Rhywun

        I will third VLC – assuming you’re talking about video? Been using it for at least a decade and it plays any video you throw at it.

        I guess it plays audio tracks but I don’t use it for that.

      • Mojeaux

        No, not video. Audio.

        I have 6,000 tracks (piker, I know) and I don’t like streaming services.

    • invisible finger

      I don’t have an answer, but a similar question. Does anyone know of a media player with smart playlist capabilities as good as iTunes? I have recursive smart playlists in iTunes and I can’t find anything that even comes close but I haven’t looked very hard in the last couple years.

      • Mojeaux

        What is a recursive smart playlist?

      • invisible finger

        Smart playlists that depend on other smart playlists, that depend on other smart playlists, etc. with mutual exclusion that live update. Recursive might not be the best word but nested isn’t quite accurate either. When I have the “slave” playlist playing, I aim for about 25% music released in the last 24 months, without repeating anything for 4 hours (depending on rating level), and about 65% familiar, older music at various “rated” levels (higher rated play more often than lower-rated, the lower the rating, the longer it goes between plays) and maybe one or two obscurities each hour so nothing goes unplayed for too long. I have about 25-30 smart playlists set up, with a slave playlist as the actual playing playlist and it works exactly the way I want it. It’s definitely an OCD thing, and there are radio station automation apps that kinda do the same thing but are more resource-intensive. But I’m sure Apple will remove the functionality in the future.

    • Aus

      I use spotify now, you can pull up your local libraries. Not sure about the ad situation because I’ve been a subscriber for years. I would assume there’s no ads if you’re just listening to local files.

      One cool thing for subscribers, you can “download” your playlists. So, I can have local song files on my desktop PC and “download” the playlist, then on my phone spotify app, those local files will be on my phone! Very convenient!

    • SDF-7

      I’m currently partial to MusicBee on Windows. Some smart playlists, doesn’t seem to heavy on the resources, etc.

      • Naptown Bill

        Oh yeah, MusicBee. I used that for a little while. Now I mostly listen to downloaded music on my phone, so I haven’t had cause to reinstall it on my PC.

  28. Yusef Adama

    Funstuff Tonio!
    Now
    Change your filters and check your thermostat!

  29. MikeS

    All the material published here is submitted by members of the community; nobody gets paid for writing, drawing, animating, doing website design and administration, or anything else associated with this website;

    Communism works!!!!11!!!

    • Yusef Adama

      No Mike, it’s a DONATION, Commies aren’t voluntary, point of a gun and all that….

    • Jarflax

      and MikeS, with one smart ass comment completely dries up the content…

      • MikeS
  30. ChipsnSalsa

    Lebowski quotes are always appropriate. Intentionly messing up quote / book / author combinations are intentional, unless it’s not.

    Also, Winston’s mom is slutty.

    • Yusef Adama

      We are Tulpae, it is known

  31. PieInTheSky

    I just looked I seem to have 13230 comments and 62 posts on this site

    my very first comment was

    There ought to be a law about not having to many laws

    I got no replies to it…

    My introduction comment was

    Hello glibs and glibettes. I was mostly a lurker on the reason am/pm links but hearing of this newfangled site I decided to try my hand at commenting. Is just I can’t think of much to comment. Anyhoo nice weather and all that.

    I was not even called Tulpa.

    I officially came out as Romanian 8 days after my first comment, on a post about the single land tax. I ws then profoundly made fun of.

    • Yusef Adama

      Vampires are funny over here,

      • PieInTheSky

        I don’t know if that is about Dracula or pula or both

      • Yusef Adama

        sounds like a wierd organ, or a growth

    • Naptown Bill

      I want to commend you for being such a good sport about the vampire jokes. Although, I suppose over the centuries you develop a thick skin.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I officially came out as Romanian

      We all knew you were anyway.

      But we’re glad you’re out of the closet.

    • MikeS

      62 posts? Wow, impressive. Thanks for contributing so much.

  32. Timeloose

    Glib survey on my next article. I was planning on writing about my experiences selling Christmas trees in NYC in the early 90’s as a naive 18 year old country bumpkin. I was going to write about the weirdness of the city from my perspective at the time, the transformations seen in my coworkers there, and general tree guy experiences. You learn a lot about a place when you spend 12-16 hours a day outside on the sidewalk.

    The questions are the following:

    Should I focus more on the tree selling experience, the people I met and worked with, weird stuff I saw, or the city in the early 90’s compared to today. I might make it a multi part story depending on how much content I get once I start writing.

    • Ozymandias

      Should I focus more on the tree selling experience, the people I met and worked with, weird stuff I saw, or the city in the early 90’s compared to today. I might make it a multi part story depending on how much content I get once I start writing.

      Yes. You’re welcome.

    • Mojeaux

      Weird stuff.

      • Timeloose

        There is plenty of weird in NYC when you visit the city for the first time. Thanks for the feedback.

    • Aus

      I vote for big anime tiddies; I have a folder full of …. qualified candidates.

      • Ozymandias

        I believe Q has that market covered. IYKWIMAITYD

      • pistoffnick

        “…have a folder full of…”

        Some would say it’s large enough to be called a binder full of …candidates.

      • Ozymandias

        Mitt Romney sheds a single tear.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    I would encourage everyone to use your best judgement

    How droll.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      judg’ment !!!

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Weird stuff.

    Suddenly I have that scene from North Dallas Forty in my head, where whats-his-name the quarterback is talking about the previous evening’s sex party, and says, “But that’s not even the weird part.”

  35. Don Escaped Texas

    The derp never end, but where’s the beef? I think we need an article on best sources of news and commentary, particularly non-partisan, accurate sources.

    • Timeloose

      That’s a great idea, I don’t have much of a clue. I read partisan sources from both sides and try to see what’s in common.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I do that too. Some places are handy as reverse barometers.

        I don’t know which infuriates me more: prog sites that push a victimhood agenda and imply government is the only possible answer or conservative sites that are defensive and partisan when a direct telling of the facts would serve their purpose just as well.

    • grrizzly

      Unicorns are more numerous.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    PRO-PRO-TIP: Do not hold a party, take off all of your clothes, and walk around in your birthday suit trying to chat people up as if you are clothed.

    Just insist they address you as “Emperor” and ask them how they like your new Robes of State.

    • Ozymandias

      Okay, that got a pretty good laugh, Brooksy. If only I had thought of that… Unfortunately, “thought” wasn’t something I had at that point.
      I didn’t find out until I came out of my room the next afternoon to watch football with my roommates and noticed how quiet it got. Then they explained what happened.

  37. Q Continuum

    Nice boobies.

  38. MikeS

    Nice write-up Tonio. And thank you for the alt-text. If I have one complaint; it’s that alt-text is often neglected.

  39. CPRM

    I just want to put my two cents in on the ‘Hands to the Face’ penalties from the Packers game. First of all, I don’t think either should have been called. But I think replay and being able to go back and endless slow things down and get mad about fractions of a second is ruining the game. Here is a picture of both of them. As you can see on the first call, he Flowers did shove his hand up onto the left side of Bahk’s face (but it was too quick to actually call a penalty on) And the second one LOOKS (from the refs POV) exactly the same just on the other side of the head and Bahk sold it. So it is all the people acting like they were both just completely made up calls are as bad as the people who say they were things that should have been called.

    On the Lions TD maybe the ball did cross the goal line, I was working and not paying great attention to the replays, but I’ve seen TDs that were a lot clearer held up for review, when that one wasn’t. Refs are ruining the game (along with the NFL constantly expanding rules), but refs have always been blind.

    • PieInTheSky

      I disagree

    • Rhywun

      Agree about replay ruining the game (and not just football).

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Yup. But, the NFL started all this replay madness that eventually leaked out into other sports.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Those are both hands to the face this year. Prolonged contact is no longer required.

    • prolefeed

      The Chive seems to work off a different definition of “squishy” than I do.

  40. Ozymandias

    Also, on topic, should someone explain how puns work? And the narrowed gaze of the Eye of Sauron Switzy?

    • The Hyperbole

      You’re assuming anyone here knows how puns work.

      • Yusef Adama

        NOT PUNNY! Shitlord!

      • Yusef Adama

        How’s that for Blunt Point?

    • invisible finger

      Don’t any of you(r puns) work??

  41. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    I heard that Adam Silver was so apologetic to the Chicoms and so wanted to mend the relationship with them that he personally strangled seventeen Uyghur Muslims before Chairman Xi as penance.

    • Q Continuum

      I heard he didn’t kill them, just sterilized them.

    • PieInTheSky

      look they both make and buy the merchandise

      • Naptown Bill

        Saves on shipping.

  42. hayeksplosives

    I love this place! Have met a few of you in meatspace, am facebook friends with one other and have a steady chat habit with another.

    Thanks for helping me through my insomnia!!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yes, Glibs is a wonderful cure for insomnia…

    • Fatty Bolger

      The first rudimentary penis transplant was performed in 2006 on a 44-year-old in China, who reportedly soon had it removed at his wife’s behest. The next took place in Cape Town, South Africa, in 2014 for a 21-year-old who’d suffered gangrene after a botched circumcision. In 2016, doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital operated on a 64-year-old man who lost his penis to cancer. And in 2017, the same South African doctors from the 2014 transplant did so again on a 41-year-old man who also suffered from a circumcision gone awry.

      \

      Damn. Don’t get circumcised in South Africa, y’all.

      • Naptown Bill

        RIGHT!? That’s what I’m saying! It’s hard enough to put clothes on a baby, and you’re supposed to take a cigar cutter to that shit and it’s no big deal!?

  43. Private Chipperbot

    Welcome to our house.

    I can’t be the only one to read that as “Welcome to our noose.”

    • Yusef Adama

      I also read TRUMPelstiltskin

  44. Animal

    I was a long-time casual commenter at TOS. But when I found out about Glibs, I came over here, read a little, and exclaimed “MUH PEOPLE!”

    The rest is history, about which you all have read quite a bit of mine.

    • MikeS

      about which you all have read quite a bit of mine.

      To our benefit.

      • Ozymandias

        +2 sticks of dynamite
        +1 fish hook in the fat kid’s junk

    • CPRM

      I posted at TOS under a different name for most of my time there, and wasn’t that regular. I won’t say what that name was because it contained info that could dox me as I have become more engaged. Right when the split was happening I made my first piece of artwork for SF The Girl With the Nazi-Ray Eyes (can be seen in tonio’s Warty link). When I moved over here I reposted that, and along with the fact I barely sleep and was on a lot I got accepted quite quickly.

    • PieInTheSky

      To much toxic masculinity for my taste

  45. Raphael

    Thank you for the write-up and mea culpa for being away for quiet a while. Was getting a bunch of stuff settled and now can chill. Hope y’all been doing great.

    Again, thanks y’all for making a good place to get together and talk about shiz. I’m still glad I was able to catch one of your bois posting the link back in the ol’ reason comments.

    • Drake

      A Hungarian Olympic gymnast-turned-mayor vaulted, barely, to another term in office despite a leaked video that captured him in a drug-fueled orgy aboard a yacht, according to reports.

  46. Mojeaux

    Also, libertarian women are a myth.

    • PieInTheSky

      the stuff of fiction novels

      • Mojeaux

        Straight fiction. I’ve made them up and sold them to liberals.

      • Q Continuum

        +1 cod in a cunte

    • Count Potato

      I haven’t seen MLW around here lately.

  47. Private Chipperbot

    I missed commenting on signature hockey moves in the lynx. Mine is taking a shot from the hashmark, watching it go over the goal by 10 feet, and staring at my stick like it betrayed me.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      “How can he get it up so quick?”

    • Ownbestenemy

      Mine was to purely piss off my coach and it was bear down on a breakaway with full body language and stick language that im going high glove only to let my momentum sulk to puck five hole like a whiffed shot.

    • Ozymandias

      Always, ALWAYS – on a complete whiff, partial whiff, or shooting 10 feet off the net – look at your stick, skate back to the bench for a change, and then throw the stick down in obvious disgust.
      “A good craftsman always blames his failures on shitty tools.”

    • Private Chipperbot

      They should have stuck with making fun on Mings’ haircut.

    • Chipwooder

      Man, if only yahoo Americans were as sophisticated as Europeans.

    • Raphael

      If only they had the proper loicense first.

  48. Count Potato

    Thanks for writing, Tonio.

  49. Old Man With Candy

    It all started when I took SP on a business trip. She met SugarFree, and wondered how I could have such charming friends.

    Fortunately she met him first rather than Mad Scientist.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Everybody gather round while OMWC regales us with stories of the beginning of glibs. I wouldn’t sit on his lap, though.

      • Mojeaux

        We’re too old for OMWC.

      • Raphael

        Have you been a good Glib this Glibmas?

    • PieInTheSky

      I hope it was during a school holiday

    • Jarflax

      It all started when I took SP on a business trip

      Hey an actual case of trafficking!

    • Mad Scientist

      I’m a delightful and engaging scamp!

      • Old Man With Candy

        There’s in jokes and REALLY in jokes

  50. Mojeaux

    Oh, as for member-memes, I would like to say that Winston is remarkably good-natured about the “Winston’s mom” thing. I admire that.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yes, almost as good natured, well good something, as his mom.

  51. Playa Manhattan

    My last straw was Shika Dalmia’s coverage of the Berkeley riot. The only acceptable outcome of that would be to fire her, and Reason didn’t.

    • Gustave Lytton

      That’s Reason Foundation Senior Analyst Shika Dalmia.

    • tarran

      For me it was Ron Bailey’s utter cowardice before the climate mob. He’s a fucking quisling, pure and simple.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    I just want to put my two cents in on the ‘Hands to the Face’ penalties from the Packers game. First of all, I don’t think either should have been called. But I think replay and being able to go back and endless slow things down and get mad about fractions of a second is ruining the game.

    This. The referee on the field should get one replay, at live speed. If this does not show the call on the field to be obviously wrong, the call stands.

  53. Gender Traitor

    Thanks, Tonio! I forget when I stumbled across TOS, but I mainly lurked there. I only posted comments a handful of times as “Some Chick from Ohio,” IIRC. After the Exodus, someone’s comment guided me here, and I commenced lurking here. I stole my screen name from a comment someone made here about how a woman who didn’t tow the feminist lion was considered a gender traitor. (Anyone care to take credit or blame?)

    I’d like to thank all the Glibs who’ve made me feel so welcome, and I apologize to those I’ll neglect to mention: writers who have sent me copies of their books (in one case, advance copies – ***SQUEE!!!*** – and in another, reformatted for use on my Nook,) one Glib who sent me his spare copy of a dead-tree book by a famous writer I wanted to read. A nearby Glib went out of his way to contact me and make sure I was safe after the Dayton tornadoes. Recently, another Glib was effusive in his praise for my comments, and I never thanked him properly. (I live to make people laugh, and your compliments made my day[s.])

    WTF – thanks to ALL of you…even though a lot of you don’t believe I exist.

    • Gender Traitor

      P.S. One of the writers was kind enough to take the time to read a short story of mine and publicly praise it & me right here in front of all Glibdom. Ever grateful!

      • Mojeaux

        That’s cuz it was very good (and I still haven’t gotten my notes back to you, but they are all just LOLs and awwws and such).

    • Mojeaux

      a lot of you don’t believe I exist.

      You don’t. I don’t. We’re all part of the matrix, available only to their imaginations.

    • Jarflax

      Why is my comment indented?

    • Mad Scientist

      Look, Tulpa, you can claim to be a female libertarian, or you can be a cool person who lives in Ohio. But you can’t realistically claim to be both.

      • Nephilium

        Since when are there cool people in Ohio?

    • Rasilio

      You exist as much as any other Tulpa does

  54. Michael Bluth

    I started lurking at TOS around 2007 and I’ve been a regular reader at Glibs since the beginning. I always mean to comment more but between running my firm, having four kids, and fear of my own ignorance, I keep my comments limited to either the What We’re Reading or stuff about Mormons. I do manage to read about everything, so while you might not know me, I feel like I know most of the regulars.

  55. Tripacer

    I lurked at TOS for a couple of years, then- I think it was Mexican Sharpshooter- said something to the effect of “fuck it, I’ll be over at Glibs”. I rarely comment because by the time I read through the article, (yes I read the article) and the comments, all the best snark has been snarked, and the thread is probably stone dead or nearly dead anyway. I’m left with nothing to contribute but Monty Python quotes.

    • Mad Scientist

      Quick! Hop over to the PM links and get in while there are only 5 comments!

  56. Emmerson Biggins

    My attendance here is pretty sporadic. But I do miss you fuckers sometimes.

    How do new people show up here? Like ones that never went to TOS? Anybody know?

    I’m not sure I want noobs here. But I don’t want to die either. Sometimes there really is no going home.

    There is not central point to this post. Just a random collection of brain flatulence.

    • Emmerson Biggins

      ^^^^ don’t want _it_ (glibertarians.com) to die either

      classic. now I can complain about lack of an edit button too.

      • Ozymandias

        Now that is funny.

      • TARDIS

        Sometime the etiquette is lacking around here.

        Fuck off, Tulpa!

    • Tonio

      How do new people show up here? Like ones that never went to TOS? Anybody know?

      It is a mystery. I assume a combination of de-lurking, regulars sharing with others, random search hits.

      I deal with recruitment and retention later this week.

      • Emmerson Biggins

        I look forward to your update.

  57. Mainer

    As someone who migrated from TOS, does any one still mention Traktor Pullz !

  58. bacon-magic

    3 days later corpse thread copulation. *sneers

    • DEG

      And you’re not last.

  59. DEG

    Thanks for the newbie guide Tonio.