“You’ve got to stop tweeting,” the hair said. The air in the Oval Office had gone hot and acrid. The HVAC system had been shut off over the weekend to try and flush them out.
“NEVER!” the hat replied, feverishly rocking his bill back and forth to tap on the keys.
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” the hair told him.
“Treason!” the hat screamed. “Traitor!”
“At least let the phone cool down. I swear the fucking battery is starting to glow.”
“Must. Keep. Tweeting,” the hat gasped. The front of the phone drooped and he stopped typing, swaying drunkenly.
“Give me, that,” Donald said, snatching the phone away from the hat. He was stripped to the waist and sweet and sour sauce gone black with grime dotted his enormous potbelly.
“Retweet,” Donald said, stabbing at the phone with a sticky finger. “Retweet, retweet, retweet. There. All done.”
“No,” the hat gasped. “There must be more original tweets than retweets!” He tipped over on to his cap and started panting. “Muh ratio!”
“That’s not what that means,” the hair said.
“Muh,” the hat started to repeat and then drifted into silence.
“You look like that cat that tried to fuck itself to death in China,” the hair said.
“Tweet that,” the hat said in a quiet and calm voice. “Tweet that, Donald. It’s funny.”
“Do not tweet that,” the hair told Donald.
“I need meth,” the hat said. “Sprinkle some meth on me.”
“No drugs,” that hair said firmly.
“Drown me in coffee then. Just drown me.”
“You want a Diet Coke?” Donald asked, not looking up from his phone. He was laboriously typing out a tweet.
“What are you tweeting, Donald?” the hair asked.
“Crooked Hillary,” the President muttered.
“Don’t,” the hat gasped. “Don’t invoke her.”
“Too late,” Donald said. “It already wooshed.”
“Dammit, Donald,” the hair said.
“Pour a ring of salt around the desk,” the hat said weakly. “Call for a phial of dove’s blood. She could show up any minute now.”
“Can she teleport?” the hair. “I think I read somewhere that she can teleport.”
“That’s silly,” Donald said. “She can’t teleport.”
“Her husband’s spunk is literally soaked into every surface of this room!” the hair said. “That might be enough to form a teleport link!”
“The salt,” the hat said weakly. “Call for the salt. And I’m hungry for that dove’s blood.”
“I’m not scared of her,” Donald said.
“Donald…” the hair began.
“No, seriously, watch.” Donald got up from his office chair and waddled over the Presidential Shitter.
“Don’t do it!” the hair screamed.
The hat made a keening wail of fear.
Donald turned off the light and closed the door. “OK, I’m right in front of the mirror,” he said loudly.
“NOOOOOOO!” the hair screamed.
“Crooked Hillary,” Donald said forcefully.
“We have got to get the fuck out of here,” the hat said.
“Crooked Hillary,” Donald said again. “Crooked Hillary.”
The hat and the hair huddled together in the silence that followed.
“Donald?’ the hair finally asked. “Donald? Are you OK?”
“What if she killed him?” the hat asked. “What if she ate him?”
“I don’t know,” the hair said quietly.
“What if she’s shitting out his bones in the hot tub?”
“Will you be quiet?” the hair asked.
The door to the Presidential Shitter began to shake, the knob twisting back and forth.
“She is the void that births monsters,” the hat intoned. “She is the pestilence of the sky, the earth, and the sea.”
The door made rattling booms as someone or something on the other side began beating on it.
“CALL THE SECRET SECRET SERVICE!” the hat screamed.
The door fell silent.
“Guys?” Donald asked, muffled. “Guys, I think there is something wrong with the door.”
“Did you lock it?” the hair asked.
“Dammit!” Donald said, rattling the door again. “I can’t tell!”
“Turn on the light, Donald,” the hat said.
“Oh, yeah,” the President of the United States said. He stepped out the Presidential Shitter and raised his arms in triumph.
I love it when the last line is the winner.
Nicely done, SF!
It was the climax!
I was laughing with the lights out in front of the mirror as well
“Her husband’s spunk is literally soaked into every surface of this room!” the hair said. “That might be enough to form a teleport link!”
Sorry, but how could Hillary teleport along a link to something she never touched?
*spittake*
That’s what Monica said.
Oh, I should have seen that one cumming.
None of that! *narrows gaze*
Yay! My first narrowed gaze!
Would you like a cigar to celebrate?
I don’t want to get any stains on my new blue dress.
Money shots tend to lead to narrow gazes.
Narrow gaze?
More like narrow glaze, amirite?
broccoli spit isn’t easy to get off the monitor.
Her house is soaked in it as well.
It’s like you people don’t even understand the rules of fictional magic. smdh
I’m now picturing Hillary appearing in Monica’s closet, over and over again.
“Fuck! This place again? Every fucking time!… Oh well, may as well have fun with it… MOOOOOOOONICA, MOOOOOOOONICA, I’m gonna get’cha!”
Oh that was fantastic. I’m glad i work at home for many reasons, but certainly being able to laugh freely while reading these is one of them.
“Oh, yeah,” the President of the United States said. He stepped out the Presidential Shitter and raised his arms in triumph.
All I could think of was…
Poetry, I tells ya.
But then you go and pull an anticlimactic ending and leave us all aroused yet unfulfilled. No fair!
“But then you go and pull an anticlimactic ending and leave us all aroused yet unfulfilled. No fair!”
#50ShadesOfMueller
But then you go and pull an anticlimactic ending and leave us all aroused yet unfulfilled. No fair!
It’s called edging.
I was getting jerked around like a tiny yapping dog on an impatient owner’s leash. Nicely done.
“Too late,” Donald said. “It already wooshed.”
Heh.
This one is AMAZING! We can’t afford a real Korean animation studio like the big players, but maybe the Norks can do us a solid. I can see the whole thing, but my skills aren’t up to the challenge of animating something this great.
“Call for the salt. And I’m hungry for that dove’s blood.” That right, the reversal of expectations, that is comedy.
The “dove’s blood” killed.
Donald J. Trump✔
@realDonaldTrump
Fighting between various groups that has been going on for hundreds of years. USA should never have been in Middle East. Moved our 50 soldiers out. Turkey MUST take over captured ISIS fighters that Europe refused to have returned. The stupid endless wars, for us, are ending!
Donald J. Trump✔
@realDonaldTrump
· 4h
The United States has spent EIGHT TRILLION DOLLARS fighting and policing in the Middle East. Thousands of our Great Soldiers have died or been badly wounded. Millions of people have died on the other side. GOING INTO THE MIDDLE EAST IS THE WORST DECISION EVER MADE…..
Donald J. Trump✔
@realDonaldTrump
….IN THE HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY! We went to war under a false & now disproven premise, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. There were NONE! Now we are slowly & carefully bringing our great soldiers & military home. Our focus is on the BIG PICTURE! THE USA IS GREATER THAN EVER BEFORE!
A step in the right direction, assuming he follows through. Perhaps someday we can also start shutting down our various bases all over the world and bring those troops home.
If it takes a buffoonish blowhard to finally get us the hell out of that mess, well then I can live with that.
Can’t wait until Donald Trump Apologist sees this. 😉
Will the GOP see that this is the kind of tyrannical insanity we are forced to live with. The Executive acting like an Emperor, withdrawing from illegal wars whenever he wants? What has the country come to?
What? The Prez thinks he runs foreign policy? No way, man !
This is going to drive the left into full on war monger hysteria. They’re going to make Max Boot and the Stache of War look like peaceniks.
unfortunately, he’s 36DD chessing us. he pulls out of Syria. Turkey moves in. bi-partisan support to invade Turkey. now we’re at war and guess who’s the sitting president at wartime during an election cycle? that’s right. 36DD chess.
Q is a master at this game.
More of a mastur.
Wait, are you telling me that Congress is going to approve actually going to war with Syria? No way, no matter which way the Senate would vote, the House will vote the other way just to stick it to Trump. Or are you saying that Trump will ask the Pentagon to invade syria? I don’t see that happening either. I would be more likely that Trump is trying to bait the Democrats into going full on war monger and I think it will work.
United Nations might run out of money.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/united-nations-could-run-out-of-money-in-october-secretary-general-antonio-guterres-says-today-2019-10-08/
Yes, please!
https://i.redd.it/183bh6d5sar31.jpg
Too many non-red spaces on that map.
I say we go after Western Sahara, the Cook Islands, and Niue, force them to join the UN then confiscate their membership fees.
“I say we go after Western Sahara, the Cook Islands, and Niue, force them to join the UN then confiscate their GNP.”
They need to be taught a lesson.
I say we
go aftermove to Western Sahara, the Cook Islands, and Niue, because they won’tforce them tojoin the UN thenconfiscate their membership feeslaugh.Now show how much each country gives to the UN (see Table 2 here).
We could turn the UN building into a casino to pay their debts, after kicking them all out.
Seen on the Book of Faces:
Pie posted this link on the other thread, but reading through it there was something that caught my eye:
Can i say bullshit fast enough?
I think species who can’t manage to keep themselves alive even with drastic years’-long expensive help should die. See: pandas.
Nope, another species will go extinct while you’re saying it.
I remember hearing this basic claim more than 20 years ago. The question I put to the person who told me was: “even if it were possible, who’s counting all these extinctions?”
Extinctionologists.
Oh, is that a sect of Watermelon?
Do they have a consensus of leading extinctionalogists?
Absolutely. Almost all extinctionologists agree that there is an ongoing crisis that requires increased funding for extinction studies.
Statistical extrapolation based on computer models.
Just like climate change.
“up to”
How does anyone even know when a species becomes extinct? Does a little red light go off somewhere when the last example of a species croaks?
It’s not extinct until the paperwork has been filed and processed by the species registrar.
/Celestial Bureaucracy.
There are more than a million species of insects.
Then we should have run out of insects after fourteen years.
They’ve been using this bullshit claim for decades.
They probably discover 201 new ones every 24 hours.
I would be happy if mosquitoes, wasps, and roaches went extinct.
Bring back DDT.
And stinkbugs, please.
What’s wrong with stink bugs? They’re a bit annoying, but I’ve never had any real issues with them.
Wait until you witness a full scale invasion and can’t even open a patio door without them getting in the house. I hate those things.
They stink.
Also, they are creepy looking.
Wolf spiders and golden orbs are more than welcome. Stink bugs, not so much.
Golden Orb Weavers are called Banana Spiders here, because of the gigantic yellow termination of their anatomy. They’re gorgeous, I agree, and impressive.
However, they’re friggin’ everywhere in the woods, and so in early parts of deer season (now), walking down a trail or through a clear spot in the dark can easily end up putting you right into one. And it’s horrible. Between the extremely strong webs and the knowledge that a spider almost as big as your hand is now somewhere on you, it’ll stop your heart. It’s why you wave a stick ahead of you whenever walking in the woods.
And stink bugs and their cousins get in my squash and peas.
I saw this one day.
When I find out what critters do to make my life easier, I try to appreciate them. For instance, ‘possums are awesomes. They eat ticks and such. Bats eat their weight in bugs every night. Owls eat mice (since I have a forest behind my house, that’s good). Wolf spiders seem so frightened, I feel sorry for them.
I accidentally killed a tarantula once and I’ve been writhing in shame ever since.
One of those made a huge triangular web off the side of my house last year. Took it out with the trimmer while doing the lawn.
I just saw the “Invasion of the Ladybugs” beginning on the siding of the south wall of the garage. So far only a few, hopefully the cold weather this week end will solve the problem. They gather in big clusters in the corners of the garage and thousands in my garage office, all determined to go somewhere, like the walls/ceiling are alive.
Fortunately elm beetles/stink bugs aren’t a problem.
^
200 species? Ok, name them.
The Wall Street Journal said “bullshit” today too, but in a more refined kind of way in their “Notables and Quotables” section:
https://www.wsj.com/articles/notable-quotable-climate-change-c-2004-11570142794
FTA:
From “Now the Pentagon tells Bush: climate change will destroy us” in London’s Observer, Feb. 21, 2004:
“Climate change over the next 20 years could result in a global catastrophe costing millions of lives in wars and natural disasters.
A secret report, suppressed by US defence chiefs and obtained by The Observer, warns that major European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas as Britain is plunged into a ‘Siberian’ climate by 2020. Nuclear conflict, mega-droughts, famine and widespread rioting will erupt across the world.
The document predicts that abrupt climate change could bring the planet to the edge of anarchy as countries develop a nuclear threat to defend and secure dwindling food, water and energy supplies. The threat to global stability vastly eclipses that of terrorism, say the few experts privy to its contents.
‘Disruption and conflict will be endemic features of life,’ concludes the Pentagon analysis. ‘Once again, warfare would define human life.’
The findings will prove humiliating to the Bush administration, which has repeatedly denied that climate change even exists. Experts said that they will also make unsettling reading for a President who has insisted national defence is a priority. . . .
As early as next year widespread flooding by a rise in sea levels will create major upheaval for millions.”
I eagerly await to have seaside real estate in WI.
Pentagon: Major European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas as Britain is plunged into a ‘Siberian’ climate by 2020. Nuclear conflict, mega-droughts, famine and widespread rioting will erupt across the world.
Pres. Dean: Sounds bad. We don’t want to get stuck in the middle of that. We should wind down our overseas deployments within a couple of years. Get me plans by the end of the month. Also, I’ll need new budget proposals for a downsized military, since we won’t need one big enough to garrison half the planet.
Pentagon: *splutters* But President Dean, we need to expand the military to deal with these new threats!
Pres. Dean: Do you want to give me your resignation now, or would you prefer to be court-martialed for refusing to obey a direct order?
We don’t even know how many species there are. Not by many orders of magnitude.
Our computer models tell us that all species will be dead by the end of next year.
I’m officially writing this day off. If I get a pot of stew going, it will be an accomplishment.
I’m sorry. It is Tuesday. Tuesdays always suck.
It’s Wednesday
I’m going back to bed.
*snort*
At least it’s not Thursday.
Wait, I gained a day?
I’m in transit today. Normally, that would be horrible, but I’m leaving Florida so it’s all good. Have many Mom stories for you.
Looking forward to it.
You had better have a Publix chicken in your carry on…
Is it bad that I already know I have to write Saturday off? I’m supposed to be the secondary on call, but there’s a maintenance going on, and I’ve been told to expect to work a full shift on Saturday.
How can I explain this to civilians?
OMWC is an FBI agent. Confirmed.
Jew Edgar Hoover.
So you are a cross dresser as well? ;^)
SP is gonna find out why all her clothes are missing.
Wouldn’t they be waay too small for him?
Pantyhose are pretty stretchy
Even so, those made for a 9-year-old are going to b even smaller than for an adult woman.
It all depends on where he’s trying to wear them.
Jew Edgar Hoover.
I think we need an applause gif for this one.
Thank you, TPTB.
I nominate SugarFree for Supreme Overlord!
You can pry my title from my cold, dead hands!
Too many usurpers around here.
Oh, man, Trashy, I completely forgot about your fabulous title. I don’t want SugarFree to be remembered as a usurper. Instead, I nominate SugarFree as Supreme Cherry Pudding!
*puts daughter’s burger King crown on*
It’s good to be the Supreme overlord
The King over the Midden?
Sorry to go OT, but I’ve just run across a bit of suck.
My girlfriend texted me last night that she’d had a panic attack at work and had to go home as a result. She was a little better when I got home, but she was still definitely out of sorts. Now, I’ve recently heard some pretty good things about CBD gummies as a means to deal with anxiety or panic, and I’ve seen a couple of different vitamin stores advertising that they had it. Okay. So, this afternoon, I figured do her a kindness and pick some up to see if it works. Well, the Vitamin store tells me they only have creams and vape supplies for CBD and that wouldn’t be strong enough. So, the guy is kind enough to refer me to a smoke shop a bit of a hike away. I go there and they tell me gummies are banned. Back at the office, I check the internet and sure enough….. Christ Almighty, the government is staffed by a bunch of walking talking pieces of shit.
If something makes you feel good, it’s a sin, and our government is there to protect us from sinning.
Wait, do you live in NYC? Then I need to revise that to, government is there to protect us from
sinningeverything.CBD doesn’t even get you high. I’m not convinced it does much of anything.
Now THC is excellent for anxiety. At least until you have too much and everything/everybody becomes suspicious.
“CBD doesn’t even get you high. I’m not convinced it does much of anything.”
I’ve heard that, but I’ve also heard that it might be effective against anxiety. I recommend alcohol, which they haven’t managed to ban yet. Ativan is very effective for anxiety, unfortunately it’s a controlled substance and also dangerously addictive. Weed just makes me paranoid and more anxious.
I can say from experience, weed does the same to her.
Yeah, if I was having panic attacks, the last thing I would do is use weed, then I’d really be freaking out.
Anyway, I hope you guys find something to make her feel better. I understand because I’ve suffered from anxiety and panic attacks before. My wife will say that I’m ‘getting nervous’. I drink a coupe of beers and I feel better, but unfortunately, that’s not a good solution all the time since I can’t drink beer all day long. I just manage to manage it, but somethings it’s harder that at other times. Only drug I even found to help was Ativan, but you just cannot take that stuff for very long or you get addicted and the withdrawals, I hear, are really bad.
Or, as kinnath said below, Kava. The good stuff works for a calming effect, but it’s the nastiest tasting stuff ever, and we’re talking about a girl here. My wife took one drink of the stuff and would never try it again, lol.
This isn’t even feeling good. This is just not feeling like shit. Our government looks increasingly like a team of sadistic sociopaths who consider others’ misery or pain cause to exit to their bunk.
Well, yes. The entire effort to control substances is, unfortunately not just a government control tactic, and an excuse for cops to go after people who are otherwise minding their own business, but it’s also there to protect the world’s largest drug cartel, the American medical industry. It’s all unconstitutional bullshit in my opinion, but there’s a huge amount of money involved, so good luck with us ever getting rid of it. What I’m expecting to happen next, is that they will move cannabis to schedule B from A, effectively giving control of it to medical provider, IOW, you’ll only be able to get it by prescription. That will effectively end the legal cannabis industry.
Kava Kava
Dopa mucuna
That stuff tastes awful, lol, I mean really really bad! I recommend beer instead. But if anyone wants to try it, they need to buy it from one of the good online vendors, not from Amazon. The good stuff is pretty effective, once you figure out how to get past the taste.
Dude, capsules.
No flavor.
Kava Kava promotes relaxation.
St. John’s Wort acts as a mild SSRI without the hideous side effect of prescription SSRIs.
Dopa Mucuna metabolizes to dopamine.
So the three keep my wife sane by managing serotonin and dopamine without involving a physician in any way.
“Dude, capsules.”
Doesn’t seem there could possibly be enough in capsules to do anything at all. I never tried them, but heard they are not effective. However, the good stuff extracted into a beverage will give you a hell of a relaxing buzz. Just tastes nasty is all. Been a while though, maybe the capsules you’re talking about are some sort of concentrated extract.
The capsules are an extract.
I imagine there are different applications — immediate relaxation vs long-term maintenance — that would influence the formulation you choose to use.
I got some from Fresh Thyme that was in an alcohol based extract. It mixes in whatever quite easily.
I do think the stuff works.
The girl I’ve talked about lately sells through this http://Www.Theramu.com/kelseytownsend
It’s pricey, but the good brands are much more pure. I suggest the “calm pro strength elixer”
Doesn’t have to be gummies. How the CBD is delivered matters less than whether CBD is delivered.
I hear lots of anecdotes of CBD helping people with chronic pain, anxiety, etc. You can take it via a dropper (the water based solutions seem to be well received). Amazon has about a thousand; part of your challenge will be finding one that works well for her. Mrs. Dean uses it off and on, and the different brands have hit her in different ways.
There is no evidence of wrongdoing by Democrats even when there is.
JUDY WOODRUFF: Former Vice President Joe Biden clearly a part of [the Ukraine matter]. His name came up during [the Trump-Zelensky] call. Whether he did or didn’t do anything wrong — and there’s no proof that he did — President Trump keeps bringing that up, is there an optical problem for Joe Biden because he son was in a position to be making a lot of money from a company that was in a foreign country?
HILLARY CLINTON: You know, Judy, this is the goal of the Trump strategy: It is to raise questions. There is no evidence that either one of them did anything wrong. Could there be a question of judgment about his son? Well, that’s fair game. But there is absolutely no evidence, and there will not be any evidence, that Joe Biden did anything wrong. Enough with these wild unfounded conspiracy theories. Using the help of foreign governments to interfere in our election and to undermine people who have been in the public eye for a long time and I hope the American people reject this, as they should.
He’s coming after us. He can’t do that! We’re protected! We’re special!
So then Trump can get Ivanka or one of his mentally deficient sons a job at a Ukraine energy company after they’ve been kicked out of the military for cocaine use and no one is going to bat an eye?
These firefighters, I tell you, so brave. So god damn brave.
So now she’s pretending Trump is just bringing up these questions and not that these questions were raised at the time it happened (long before Trump even threw his hat and hair in the ring).
Whether he did or didn’t do anything wrong — and there’s no proof that he did
The bare facts of the case could easily support criminal grand jury inquiry, IMO. His son was on the board of a company for no apparent purpose other than influence peddling. That company was being investigated by a prosecutor. Biden demanded that the prosecutor be fired and threatened to withhold aid. The prosecutor was fired. You should have no problem getting a grand jury to look into him and his son for bribery, and probably other crimes, on the public facts of what happened.
Sure, Kavenaugh’s accuser is credible, but the is no proof of Biden doing anything wrong. I believe the term is Gaslighting.
Oh, no!
Solomon Reports: Ukraine Investigation into Burisma/Biden Was Re-Opened in February 2019…
If your average guy on the street uses insider information to enrich him-or herself, it’s off to the slam; if a member of congress does the same, why, it’s “legal”. Mr. Vicepresidentson gets an outrageous salary from a Ukranian natural gas company. A humble socialist senator becomes a multimillionaire with three homes.
And we say the age of miracles is over…
psst
without regard to Herself
Yeah, Don, it makes no difference as to party. Far as I’m concerned, the whole system is corrupt and in need of massive reform. But who can run a river through the Augean Stables?
Maybe we could make a good start by driving all, or most of, the cattle out…
Tales from the range:
The good: I love, LOVE my CZ Shadow 2. Since I started doing bullseye, I’ve built up a small amount of these hyper-expensive German-made B-2 and B-3 targets that just have 10 tiny holes in them. So I took them to the range and shot them at 50′ and 75′ with the CZ, and got higher — much higher — scores than I did with the .22. Admittedly, that’s undoubtedly because I let myself use two hands, but still…
The bad: The Beretta pretty much shit the bed with failures to feed on rounds 735, 744, 750, 757, 758, 759, 771 and 772. In addition it had a gorrammed STOVEPIPE on round 722, which is supposed to be nearly impossible to achieve with a 92 variant. I am really hoping this is ammo related (they all occurred with Winchester “USA Forged” steel cased 115 gr) but since the slide also failed to lock back on the last round three times, I’m not too sure about that. Time it give it a jolly good clean and see if things improve.
I rarely let my pistols go more than 4 or 5 boxes without cleaning them. Mostly because I keep all three loaded with defensive rounds at all times when they are home.
What is you goal for going so long without cleaning?
He’s hoping to get a job as a firearms quality assurance tester?
*shrugs*
Laziness.
However, having said that, where I work there is a growing body of evidence to say that preventative maintenance actually results in more downtime than running to failure. If there is no indication of system degradation, any kind of intrusive disruption has a chance of introducing a fault that would otherwise not have happened.
I bought the M9 used, so the <1000 rounds I've put through it aren't the total round count, but I don't think 1000 rounds between cleanings is abnormal at all for a modern gun. Particularly if their shot without long periods of inactivity.
I have no doubt that I could run a couple thousand FMJs through my EMP, EMP-4, and p938 without failure.
Hollow points, on the other hand, won’t feed through a dirty gun. And I keep all my pistols loaded with hollow points when I am not practicing. (except when I get really lazy, then I only have two of three loaded with hollow points).
I only keep two magazines of defensive ammo loaded (speaking of, it’s time to fire them off and rotate a couple new mags of fresh ammo into place). Between that and the shotgun, I’m not feeling undergunned.
I am hoping that these malfunctions aren’t the result of the trigger job I did a few hundred rounds back. I can’t think of why it would be, but it’s a change I made to the system. I am hoping it’s just that these cases have too much friction for the tiny little “feed ramp” on the M9.
I like cleaning guns, but it’s probably good to know how they do, to know what you can get away with.
Preventive maintenance is like SPC: there are more guys out there putting numbers into modules than there are who understand the calcs, the suitability, and the implications. I believe in PM, but MTBF is not remotely the time for downtime. Production is about profit, so minimizing loss is the goal; the interval that robustly minimizes total cost should be the answer. I wonder what is going on in your organization.
The stat that is generally maximized is total uptime. MTBF is almost completely irrelevant. While PDT is theoretically preferable to UDT, they both affect lost production time in the same way. Profitability (and therefore customer pricing) are calculated with SRP tools at 95% uptime.
Post-PM qualification time is extensive with some of our equipment, and we have excellent MTTD.
I get not cleaning them. I’m the same way.
The question is – are you keeping them properly lubricated? I use Slide Glide light grease on most of my all metal pistols.
Considering that (except for the Beretta) I’m averaging >99.9% reliability, I think they’re ok. The CZ has had 2 malfunctions in almost 7000 rounds fired. I should probably clean out it’s magwell though, since some of the mags aren’t dropping freely. Is there some sort of product I’m supposed to put o the outside of magazines to help with that?
I like baby wipes for mag wells, then dry out as well as possible, then the faintest hint of oil, then remove as much as possible with dry rag again
I clean most of my stuff with FP-10 and wipe them dry.
FP-10 is also what use to lube polymer guns.
Adahn,
I have had several failure to feed issues with my 92FS I recently purchased. It is used and from 1985, but there was no obvious wear seen. I did have several failure to extract issues with standard brass Blazer ammo and reloads. A thorough cleaning with special attention to the bore was done with a brass brush, then soaking in cleaner and repeat with nylon brush, followed by a barrel clean. Cleaned the exercised the extractor.
I found carbon build up in the bore was likely to blame plus the use of steel case ammo can be a problem.
what failure mode is associated with the bore?
The cartridge can get stuck in a bore and fail to extract if it has excessive carbon build up.
Thanks! That’s good information to have, and cleaning will be the next step.
I shot a CZ polymer this weekend. What a great shooter. It’s the model made to replace the M9 in US army. real inexpensive for the performance.
Bad magazines are what cause problems with Berettas. Get a new mag or go through the old one with a fine tooth.
“You will CLEAN YOUR PIECE LIKE IT WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S HOO-HA RIGHT BEFORE ORAL SEX, DIPSHITS!!”
/Might have been actual quote from Marine Drill Instructor (‘Hoo-ha’ not in original)
I don’t want to betray my
brainwashingtraining because no one should accept that because the military said it that it should be holy writ. OTOH, when it comes to firing rates in combat and basic marksmanship, I don’t think any institution does it better than the Marine Corps (in my experience with all four services and most of the SpecOps communities). Among the canons of that school is cleaning your weapon, even under the shittiest of combat conditions, and right after you finish firing them. Weapons not cleaned? No libo for anyone for the weekend. (I have also confirmed this with Marine vets in every war going back to WW2). I also know weapons continue to seep carbon ell-after they’ve been fired and cleaned, but the Staff NCO at the armory gives no shits about you or your problems.Now, part of this has to do with the weapons they field and fire: (1) possibly made by lowest (or corrupt-est) contractor; (2) generally tight machining in most US manufacturing means less “slop”/”play” so if dirt gets in there, or even carbon deposits build up, it can cause malfunctions.
I tend to think of it like a science project: you want to eliminate as many of the variables you can to ensure a good “experiment”. Leaving a weapon dirty just means it’s now a factor you have to consider when the thing malfunctions, and it’s an easy variable to eliminate.
So, I’ve come across some information that I need to figure out how to handle. I was going through a box of old stuff from my childhood. Somehow some of my (deceased) dad’s stuff was also in there. Well, there is a letter regarding the step-parent adoption of one of my sisters. This is news to me, I don’t know if it is to her. I knew she was born before my parents got married, but not this. I mean, if my dad was her dad, he wouldn’t have to adopt his own daughter after the marriage, right?
It depends. If he was left off of the birth cert, he might have to adopt his own bio child under certain family law setups.
Though it’s equally possible he wasn’t the bio father and chose to adopt.
Either way, it’s an active declaration of fatherhood, and I would say reflects positively on him.
^^ This. Big time.
UnCiv is correct. Very plausible scenario.
I know a couple that had a kid about the same time I did. They were unmarried, but living together. The mother declared the father was unknown at birth, and she started collecting AFDC immediately. Her paramour continued going to school on his own nickel at the time. After he graduated, they got married, and he adopted his own daughter to ensure he was her legal guardian.
I was thinking could be something wonky like this, they did break up at some point for a bit. But the letter also mentions termination of parental rights, though that could just be in there if it was just a form letter.
I should point out that 15 years later this couple had a very uncomfortable discussion with their child why “dad” had to adopt his own kid. It caused problems that never really went away.
My mother found out she had a brother when she was in her 40’s. My grandmother got pregnant before she married, back in the day when that was verboten, and her brother and his wife, who could not have children adopted the child. So, she found out her cousin was really her brother.
Actually ended up being a good thing as he was really happy to have brothers and sisters.
I know where “It’s an eternity in there” comes from. The only Stephen King story to actually give me chills, thinking about that boy at the end.
“The Jaunt”, right? Yeah, that was a good one.
Longer than you think, dad, longer than you think!
something something SPACE SMITH
“The original libertarian”
– Gary Johnson remarking on Bill Weld
https://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/2019-10-08/reclaiming-republican-foreign-policy
FTA:
“Yet the United States cannot afford to retreat into isolationism, as the Trump administration has done.”
AND
“Every U.S. administration since the Cold War has been determined to prevent North Korea and Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons. As president, I would be no less determined. If North Korea and Iran obtain or build nuclear weapons, then it will be the fault of the United States and its partners.”
AND
“I am running against Trump for the Republican nomination for president in part to return the United States to the stable, bipartisan foreign policy that brought the United States through the Cold War. This means restoring deep connections with our European and Asian allies and with Israel. It means building on the changes that brought Middle Eastern countries into alignment against religious extremism and terrorism. It means supporting African countries in their battles against terrorists and their efforts to build effective, independent democracies. And it means recognizing that issues such as the environment and the future of our planet demand multilateral cooperation.”
Turns out Hillary Clinton’s foreign policy was the most libertarian-y ever!
LOL, we have to stay in the middle east forever! Or else!
“Well, in his defense, Bill Weld liked gay marriage in the 90’s or at least didn’t care to outlaw it, maybe? I don’t know. All I know is that someone who supported gay marriage or something is so much better, regardless of whether or not he wants to murder people around the world, because what’s important is….*loud gagging*…ehhhhh…..*loud gagging*….ehhhh….*catches breath*…..man that Bill Kristol is well hung, I tell you.”
– Nick Sarwark
The Trump admin is isolationist? My suspicions that Weld’s retarded have (once again) been confirmed. Hopefully no donors will give that alkie looking fuck any money and he’ll fade into the sunset.
No fading needed, he’s already invisible. If he thinks he’s getting the GOP nomination, he must be smoking more weed than GayJay ever has.
The common wisdom says that no incumbent president who was challenged in the primary got re-elected (Carter, Bush I). Weld and his handlers are re-creating the same situation.
Attempting to recreate the same situation but the Weldites, if there are any really, are Never Trumpers and wouldn’t vote for him under any circumstances anyway. If Trump loses it won’t be because of Weld.
The democrats are going to make damn sure Trump does not lose. He doesn’t even need to do anything. If there is anyone who can beat him, the dems will sabotage that person and destroy any chance they have.
These ignants don’t know what isolationism is or they are being deliberately misleading. I lean towards to latter. They think it is better to bomb people than trade with them because Orange Man bad.
Democrats have a simple solution. You bomb the fuck out of poor sheep farmers and bring the ones who survived here as refugees to bolster the Democrat voting pool. Military contractors happy, Democrats happy, non-dead refugees happy, everyone happy.
Every U.S. administration since the Cold War has been determined to prevent North Korea and Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons.
Sure about that? Because I recall the Obama administration doing a time-limited deal with Iran that would have basically given them the green light when the deal expired.
Um. Were they successful in keeping those countries from getting nukes?
Restoring connections with Israel? Huh? Leaving aside the question of how involved we should be in the first place, how exactly has the guy who moved American recognition of Israel’s capital from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem been hostile to Israel?
Forget it, he’s rolling….
The two countries where Trump’s approval rating is through the roof are Israel and Poland. I didn’t get that talking point, either. I think Weld needs to read the news more and daydream less.
My God do the Poles love Trump for some strange reason that I really do not understand. Every Polish immigrant I know loves Trump in a way I have never seen with any president since Reagan.
Because Trump has yanked Putin’s chain hard on several occasions, would be my guess.
Also, I don’t think open borders are super-popular in Poland, and he’s kind of the world leader for not liking open borders.
They think he hates Jews?
In an ironic twist, the Poles are the new Nazis.
If you read the corporate press you would think that the biggest enemies to the (un) free world are Poland, Hungary, people who voted for Brexit, people who voted for Lega Nord in Italy, and Russia (just for good measure).
But, they’ll also lecture you about how important Germany (probably Russia’s biggest trading partner in Europe) is to the (un) free world.
My Russian pals love him, too.
Although I guess that makes sense…
I’m loving this, the Dems are going to nominate Liawatha, LOL, hilarity shall ensue.
You are assuming that Hillary is not the nominee
Warren and Biden are still alive, so I’m assuming for now. Once those two have an ‘unfortunate accident’ then I might start thinking differently.
Hillary has no organization. Its too late for her to actually win the nomination by winning primary elections. I think the odds of her getting coronated at the convention without having actually, you know, won a primary election are extremely low.
If that’s what he’s assuming then he’s wrong.
So, you’re saying that Her Crookedness is getting the coronation?
I’m sticking to saying she’s going to run as a savior. If I’m right I’ll look like a damn genius, if not, well damn, we’ve all been wrong before.
I started saying at least a year ago, that she’s running again. I can tell you for sure, she wants to. The problem is, a very large percentage of her popularity is gone, they’re still pissed off at her for not beating Trump last time and they want someone further left.
we’ve all been wrong before
Well, maybe not all of us.
I had said over on TOS a year before the election that “Trump won’t win, but Hillary will lose.”
That seemed to go right over a bunch of people’s heads.
“Well, maybe not all of us.”
Certainly, not me. Just ask Ms Hyperion.
And this is why I’m the rightful heir to Supreme Overlord, since no one has heard from Almanian in a long time.
she’s going to run as a savior
I was of this opinion before it was cool.
No please. If that happens I will easily vote for DT and won’t even feel bad about it, but I don’t want that literal fascist even getting that close to the White House.
Yeah, I’d much prefer the half breed Indian.
You’re going to need to be more specific. Kamala (dot not feather)? Warren (feather not dot)? Gabbard (Hindu, honorary dot not feather)?
Feather. Princess Big Bullshitter White Feather.
Imma get me some firewater
You saw where a school she worked for fired her by offering her a contract extension?
“You saw where a school she worked for fired her by offering her a contract extension?”
Obviously race based discrimination, right?
R C Dean pounced! Or was that just a seized? Either way, we can say for sure it was without evidence.
Anti-woman, because pregnant.
Because in the primitive ’70s, schools staffed with a large percentage of women would fire any of them that got pregnant.
And here I thought they were going to update his actual health. Silly me.
You aren’t silly because of that, you’re just silly! LOLOL. JK.
My husband insists I’m silly. Totes not true.
From the top rope, a response to Hillary.
Ouch!
Love it.
Harsh
I like it
Every now and then, Twitter earns its place in the world.
That should leave a mark.
Ouch, she ought to get her blue checkmark for that alone.
“She is the void that births monsters,” the hat intoned. “She is the pestilence of the sky, the earth, and the sea.”
Hilarious and excellent.
Excellent!