The Hat and The Hair Extended Universe: Hillary and Huma

by | Dec 4, 2019 | Hat and Hair, SugarFree | 191 comments

 

Huma lay across Hillary and sighed as her lover rippled and writhed with transformations under her.

“Kamala,” Hillary croaked, her lips ballooning in and out with every sluggish heartbeat.

“Yes, my love,” Huma said. “Dropped out with no warning.”

“She was chosen, shown the mysteries,” Hillary said thickly.

“Peace, my love,” Huma whispered. “Peace. Anger is dangerous now.”

“I want her dead!” the bulk howled. “Dead. Bring me her betrayer’s head!”

“She is retreating to California,” Huma said. “You never have to deal with her again.”

Hillary grunted and farted melodiously through multiple anuses. “Dead!” she screamed again.

“Peace, lover, peace,” Huma said. She ran her fingers through a cluster of clitorises that had sprouted in Hillary’s armpit overnight, and a roiling shudder nearly bucked her off to the floor.

“We must coronate a new heir,” Huma said, bending to nibble the hood of each one.

“Who? Who? Who?” Hillary hooted. “Chelsea is weak, a crippled branch that should be pruned.”

“Biden?” Huma asked, exhaling a slow hot breath on a labial wound opening over Hillary’s left floating rib.

“The Groper. The Sniffer. The Unsuccessful Bill. He sided with Obama against me. He carries The Blackamoor Taint,” Hillary said, a human quality returned to her voice. She groaned as Huma began to part the wound in her side with patient fingers and tongue.

“Warren and Sanders are already in an alliance,” Huma said. She hooked a fingernail under the mucus plug within the ribgina and teased it out. She caught the pus that ran out in her mouth.

“Ashes. They taste of ashes. They deserve one another. I reached out to Warren. I told her of the power…” Hillary reached with a shaking hand and made a feeble fist.

“I want them dead after the election,” Hillary, fixing a milky eye on Huma. “Dead. I want them all dead. Bernie can have that heart attack he has earned. Her… Something worse.”

“There’s a special place in hell for women that don’t support other women,” Huma said. She twisted her hand into the silent duck and plunged it into Hillary’s side.

“Cancer!” Hillary cried out. “Cunt cancer! Let her health plan pay for coring her out!”

Clenching and unclenching her fist around an organ roughly analogous to a liver, Huma said, “That doesn’t leave many people to back, my love.”

“Who is left?” Hillary moaned.

“The Jews,” Huma said, queefing her distaste. “And the young LGBTQQIP2SAA from Indiana.”

“Lugbetkewpissa?” Hillary rumbled.

“Gay,” Huma said. “The gay man.”

“I shall back no Feculent,” Hillary said flatly.

“And he’s white,” Huma told her.

“White?” Hillary hissed.

“At the end of the day, a white man is still a white man,” Huma said and then licked the line of suppurating nipples that ran down Hillary’s chest.

“And there are no women left?” Hillary asked. “None at all?”

“Not a one,” Huma lied. “Not a single one.”

“Then I know what I must do,” Hillary whispered.

“Yes, yes!” Huma cried, squeezing erotic bile from the quasi-liver.

“Yes, yes!” she screamed as Hillary’s flipper slapped against her Weiner-blighted crotch.

“Yes, oh, yes!” as Hillary took both of Huma’s baby-gnawed breasts into her mouth and chewed.

“I MUST RUN!” Hillary bellowed as Huma yelped and collapsed.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

191 Comments

  1. JaimeRoberto Delecto

    I was afraid to read this. It turns out my fear was justified.

    • Swiss Servator

      Indeed.

      *1000 yard stare*

      • AlexinCT

        I failed my sanity check….

  2. Tundra

    Good God, man.

    My brain has some new scars. Thanks a lot.

    “I shall back no Feculent,” Hillary said flatly.

    Nice.

    • Tres Cool

      Yeah. I learned a new word. Now, I just have to figure out how to work it into conversation.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        I always plant the feculents in my yard next to the succulents.

      • leon

        Sounds like a hate crime

      • SugarFree

        That’s how you get e. coli, brah.

  3. Rebel Scum

    Good lord…

  4. leon

    OT: Ozzy i finally managed to read your latest installment. Damn man. These are the people that socialists want in charge of healthcare, housing, etc.

    • Ozymandias

      Thanks, leon. And Yes – if only we would just let more selfless bureaucrats control our medical care.

    • Akira

      These are the people that socialists want in charge of healthcare, housing, etc.

      The faith that we will somehow find “the right people” and shunt them into government jobs is one of the biggest pillars of “progressive” thought. They truly believe that there are some wise, judicious, beneficent people out there, that these people will gravitate towards government jobs, and that they won’t become corrupted by the power they’re given. It’s insane.

      • Ozymandias

        I’ve had this argument about a thousand times with people talking about “greedy capitalists.” I always ask the same question and get the blank stare in response: “Do you believe that government workers are chosen from some special pool of US citizens that is different from the one that produced the ‘greedy capitalists?'”

      • UnCivilServant

        Yes. The bureaucrats came from the pool of people unwilling to put in the risk and effort it takes to start a business.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        In my experience, the low to mid-level ones are. The higher up the food chain you go however…

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Oh. Okay.

    • Swiss Servator

      Were you not moved by “Hillary grunted and farted melodiously through multiple anuses.”

      • ron73440

        It probably sounds like the multi trumpet air horns.

      • peachy rex

        As long as it’s melodious.

  6. leon

    I….. I…. *Rips Eyes Out* Why won’t the pain stop!!!

    • UnCivilServant

      What did that potato do to deserve that treatment?

  7. Mad Scientist

    The worst part about this is how easy Sugarfree makes it to imagine. That’s also the best part.

    • Tres Cool

      He could be weaponized.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        He already violates the Hague convention.

  8. CPRM

    Although I would never animate these tales; I none the less see them as vividly. And it scares me. But, as a fan of the horror genre, that is good.

    • ron73440

      I don’t think any animation could beat the horrors in my mind when I read this.

      It is on a different level, and I mean that in a good way…I think.

  9. Sean

    I picked the wrong week to run out of brain bleach. ?

    • Tres Cool

      But still sniffing glue, right ?

      • Sean

        Shirley, you can’t be serious

      • leon

        I am NOT getting larger!

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I am and don’t call me Shirley.

      • Shirley Knott

        That’s right. You’re not Shirley, I am.

      • UnCivilServant

        Surely you’re Knott.

      • Shirley Knott

        Why yes, I am 😉

      • ron73440

        I still need help with my drinking problem.

      • R C Dean

        Out of booze again?

      • Tres Cool

        “Johnny, what can you make of this?”

        “This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl…”

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar.

        When will you be back?

        I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.

      • Akira

        “Headquarters? What is it?”

        “It’s a big building with generals… But that’s not important.”

      • The Hyperbole

        Oh stewardess, I speak jive.

  10. RBS

    I am both aroused and disgusted.

    • Swiss Servator

      I am disgusted that you are aroused.

      • peachy rex

        Surely someone here will be aroused by your disgust.

        “It’s the ciiiircle, the circle of life!”

      • Ted S.

        I am disgusted that you are not aroused.

      • Mad Scientist

        I am aroused by your disgust.

  11. Dr. Fronkensteen

    She ran her fingers through a cluster of clitorises that had sprouted in Hillary’s armpit overnight, and a roiling shudder nearly bucked her off to the floor.

    Why is this always posted so close to lunch?

    • Trigger Hippie

      It’s your mid-week punishment for dicking around here all day Instead of working.

      • Swiss Servator

        *nods sadly in acknowledgement*

    • Pope Jimbo

      So this has made you lose your appetite?

      Now you are just going to sit there looking at that plate of beans you brought in for lunch and rolling them around?

    • SugarFree

      The honest answer is that when we started the site, we only planned on having AM and PM links, and noon features. We weren’t sure if we would have enough submissions to run a Noon and an 8pm, so each of the “features” writers took a weekday 8pm slot in order to make a weekly commitment to create content. As more and more submissions came, I traded my Wednesday night slot for a Wednesday noon slot because most people want their articles to run at night so they are home to engage with the commenters.

      • Mojeaux

        If I may point out, I do believe that the late-night threads (Ozy’s) are ill served by being, well, late at night. This morning I saw Ozy’s had 39 comments and his work deserves more attention.

        Diggy’s night shift is different, since it’s usually just a links thread anyway.

      • SugarFree

        I’m pretty sure Ozy asked for that slot because it worked for his availability for posting purposes. (SP is busy right now, if I’m misremembering, I apologize.)

        I also think he deserves a more trafficked time slot.

        ***UPDATE***

        Ozy asked for a consistent time slot for his entire series and that was the one open at the time.

      • Ozymandias

        For the record: SP offered that slot and I took it with a grateful heart. I’m very (very) flattered by people lobbying for a more comment-laden time slot, but it’s worth noting that when SP and I discussed this, I was largely unknown. Consequently, I don’t feel there’s anything wrong with putting in some ‘sweat equity’ with the night shift. I’ve come to view this place as a virtual/web-based writer’s colony: junior guy starts out in junior guy time slots. Works for me. I’ll keep writing and let TPTB handle scheduling.

        I’m just getting started on a series that I hope will be as well-received regarding the two years I spent setting up and running a business in the People’s Republic of China. The experience was a wonderful contrast between my expectations vs. reality on everything from language to economics to regulation to the First Amendment. I may entitle it a “Connecticut Rhode Island Yankee in King Arthur’s Emperor Xi’s Court.”

      • Mojeaux

        Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a PITA.

      • leon

        Publicly intoxicated temperance advocate?

      • Ted S.

        Pussy in the Armpit. Didn’t you read the post?

      • Ozymandias

        I didn’t get even an inkling of that, Moj. And I’m terribly flattered that a published writer (like, actually making a career paying the rent for realz!) is fond of my rambling therapy anthrax series.

      • Mojeaux

        Don’t get too starry-eyed. I published myself and it doesn’t pay my bills. Like, at all. Last month, I could afford 2 strawberry Laffy Taffys in the 15¢ bin.

        I am going to write a column on the Cult of Traditional Publishing. That’ll wipe the stars right out of your eyes.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I’d read that column, Moje.

      • Shirley Knott

        I have to agree about Ozzy’s posts. His work is excellent.

      • Gustave Lytton

        As a Best Coaster, I appreciate the later evening posts. Thank you Ozy for taking the slot.

      • Ozymandias

        *touches brim of cool-looking hat…
        (whatever kind that may be)

      • Ozymandias

        You mean those head condoms that guys in the pack wear? Phhhppphhhttttt! NEVER!!!

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    OMFG…

    just OMFG

  13. UnCivilServant

    Off-topic, what’s the risk of a tornado damaging train tracks when it crosses them? It’s bound to have happened, so I’m wondering how often it tears up the tracks and how often they survive.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I think that most tracks are OK the first time a tornado goes over them. The problem is if the tornado goes back over them again. Double-crossers are the worst!

      • Tundra

        One comment in and we are already off the rails.

      • gbob

        We just can’t train you monsters not to.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Monsters?

        Don’t tie me to Tundra!

      • Mojeaux

        It’s not a concrete possibility.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Would you stake your reputation on those odds?

      • Mojeaux

        No, but I would clip my reputation to them.

      • Chafed

        A pun with an on topic link?!? You just won an award Mo. I don’t know what it is. But you won it.

      • Mojeaux

        *waggles eyebrows*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This thread is building steam.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is this any way to conduct ourselves?

      • Rebel Scum

        It’s going to be hard to stop.

      • Sean

        All aboard for a pun thread!

      • leon

        It’s a real train wreck.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        It’s almost as if we’re engineered that way,

    • Mojeaux

      After having worked in the railroad supply industry for quite a while, I will say I have never heard of tracks being damaged by tornadoes, nor have I ever emergently supplied a derailment caused by weather damage to tracks. Mind you, this is in the US and heavy-haul only.

      Bad ballast, on the other hand …

      • UnCivilServant

        I figured the low profile would make them less prone to damage, but I had to get a second opinion.

      • Mojeaux

        Between concrete ties, state-of-the-art fasteners and regular maintenance (BNSF and UP are very proactive about that), it’s not likely at all.

        If you need damage, use a previous derailment or an explosion of some sort that happened on the tracks. A train will not be derailed by hitting a semi in the crossing.

      • UnCivilServant

        Actually quite the opposite, I was assessing the feasibility of railways on an alien world which has flatter terrain and thus more prone to the sort of rip-through thunderstorms that mark the great plains.

      • Mojeaux

        Highly unlikely.

        Tornadoes hitting the actual TRAIN, though … that’s happened.

      • UnCivilServant

        Are you saying it’s unlikely to be feasible, or unlikely to be damaged?

      • Mojeaux

        Sorry. Tracks are highly unlikely to be damaged by tornadoes.

        I bet ice could do it, though, if a track is not well maintained.

      • AlexinCT

        What happens if they hit the train and it lands badly on the tracks?

      • Mojeaux

        What happens if they hit the train and it lands badly on the tracks?

        Yes, that could do it, but the car is more likely to be lifted and carried, or tipped over on its side depending on the angle of attack.

        https://www.islandnet.com/~see/weather/history/tornadotrains.htm

        I do not know nor can I speculate on the possibility of a train car falling and damaging a track with today’s technology.

      • Plisade

        My plant’s feeder track got washed out during some rain flooding. By washed out: a section of the rock/gravel bed was washed out from underneath the track rails and ties. So the track itself stayed intact but was suspended above the missing portion of the bed.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, that happens occasionally.

        Is your feeder track your company’s responsibility to maintain or the railroad’s responsibility?

        Is that area usually flood-prone?

      • Plisade

        That section was the CSX’s responsibility, but I do have 2 switches and some track that are mine. It was next to some low wetlands that should drain through a culvert into a creek. But some beavers had built a dam blocking the culvert. The wetlands overflowed across the track when some heavy rains hit.

      • Mojeaux

        Sue the beavers!

      • Plisade

        Beavers be dammed!

      • Ozymandias

        There’s a perennial stream in the northern Virginia woods called “Beaver Damn Creek.” It is the bane of every Marine Second Lieutenant’s LandNav existence. It cuts through the training area and you have to cross it multiple times on land navigation exercises. The problem is that the ^%&$ing beavers will change its course, sometimes overnight, with all of their infernal damming!! The landnav exercises are timed and graded events and getting a good crossing point moved 200-300m – or simply destroyed – can make the difference between passing and failing. They told us, too: never count on having the last point you used to cross; it may not be there.

      • Not Adahn

        And being dense and staked to the ground.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well… they’re staked to railroad ties, which are bedded in gravel. That’s not really “the ground”.

  14. Pope Jimbo

    “And there are no women left?” Hillary asked. “None at all?”

    “Not a one,” Huma lied. “Not a single one.”

    The great state of Minnesoda will not stand by while our awesome Senator Special K is ignored like this!!!!!

    • leon

      what would have happened if Huma had mentioned…. her.

      Someone once said there is a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.

      • Pope Jimbo

        By support, do you mean run her comb covered in ranch dressing through her cluster of clits?

      • AlexinCT

        I am now so glad I am not a fan of ranch dressing…

  15. Ozymandias

    This was… wow. I’ve never read something that made me squeamish about what words might come next. Like I was reading it while peering through my hands with one eye closed and my head turned, as if that might somehow lessen the gore. Thank God I’m too square to imagine things like this on my own.

  16. Ozymandias

    And OT, but I just saw Red Flag Laws get deadly and thought I had to share. Maybe it will make the PM links.

    • Tres Cool

      Ya know, maybe its just me. But all these petty things that could wait till a decent hour always seem to be carried out in the middle of the night.
      Its almost like they’re hoping to engage in a negative way…

    • Mojeaux

      That was dated a year ago, but these sorts of things always smack of personal vendettas to me. SOMEONE had it in for that guy and called in a protective order. It’s the equivalent of SWATting, if you ask me.

      • Ozymandias

        That’s all the Red Flag laws are: an opportunity for someone to sic the cops on one of those deplorable ‘gun nuts’ and the cops are all too happy to do some door kickin’ and shootin’. It is the perfect storm for these kinds of murders incidents.

      • Mojeaux

        Yep. Same way someone can call CPS on someone else, and at the very least, make the family’s life more difficult.

    • Akira

      The next time I end up discussing gun laws with a Leftist, I’m going to ask them:

      “If these Red Flag laws are totally Constitutional… If you’re so sure that the government officials running this program would never abuse that power… If you’re so certain that nobody will be affected by it unless they pose a real threat… If public safety is more important than any notion of “rights”… Then why not have one for Muslims? Just have the same people run it who run the Red Flag program (since you’re so confident that they’ll all be wise, fair, judicious people).

      9/11 alone has killed far more people than all the mass shootings since 2001, so why not have a program where Muslims’ rights can be temporarily revoked if someone calls Homeland Security on them? If a Muslim gets Red Flagged, we can have Homeland Security investigate, during which time they will be banned from travelling, communicating with anyone outside the country, and lose all Fourth Amendment protections. And hell, be banned from buying guns too.

      If the Red Flag program for gun owners is such a great idea, what’s wrong with this one?”

      • Ozymandias

        “BUT THAT’S DIFFERENT, YOU %$#%NG RACIST!!1!1!”

        Irony and hypocrisy do not exist for the ideologically (and religiously) driven. There are only events that get you closer to your Utopia and obstacles to be overcome.

  17. wdalasio

    “Cancer!” Hillary cried out. “Cunt cancer! Let her health plan pay for coring her out!”

    I have no doubt that Ms. Clinton has that much animus toward Ms. Warren. That said, it’s far from clear to me that the latter doesn’t have her own caucus of infernal support.

    And I’m surprised that Clinton’s seething over the destruction of her doppelgänger in tan didn’t touch on her rage at Gabbard.

    • SugarFree

      Imagine a killer whale coming up out the tank at SeaWorld to splash the audience.

      That’s why Huma didn’t mention Gabbard.

      • wdalasio

        Point taken. Excellent analogy, by the way. You have a gift with words, SugarFree.

  18. Rebel Scum

    I see that 3 leftist “constitutional scholars” have been brought in to gang up on the 4th seemingly less partisan expert.

    • AlexinCT

      Why are they bothering with this? Didn’t they already declare the constitution like a 100 year old paper worth nothing?

    • Chafed

      I don’t understand Schiff’s point in calling them. The committee has already decided what is impeachable condu t. Three are, as I understand it, openly supporting impeachment. What purpose does their testimony serve?

      • leon

        To get the people on board

      • Ozymandias

        This. It’s academic cover for claiming that ORANGE MAN LEGALLY BAD. They’re bringing out super-dee-duper-dee really most excellent smart lawyers to say what they haven’t provided any evidence for is impeachable conduct.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Right? Why call them when they can just call Judge Nap? Would he not just say what they’re saying? Couldn’t they at least say he’s a Fox News correspondent? Much more efficient, yes?

  19. Mojeaux

    Just the thought of Hillary and Huma together makes me want to retch.

    • Shirley Knott

      Really? I only need either one.

    • Pope Jimbo

      The problem with visualizing Huma and Hillary in some dingy motel scissoring each other wildly is that you realize that Hillary is using pinking shears instead of a normal scissor.

      • Mojeaux

        ??????

  20. Pope Jimbo

    I have to tip my cap to the Dems. If I were in their shoes, I doubt I would be as brazen as they are. It looks like they managed to get their hands on Rudy’s phone records and are claiming that they are proof that Nunes and Rudy collaborated on Trump’s nefarious plans to get Biden.

    “It is deeply concerning that at a time when the president of the United States was using the power of his office to dig up dirt on a political rival, that there may be evidence that there were members of Congress complicit in that activity,” Schiff said on Tuesday of Nunes’ communications with Parnas and Giuliani.

    Given that Schiff won’t answer any questions about his own contacts with Ciamarillo (or whatevs the whistle blower is named), it is a bit rich to complain about that.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      They also subpoenaed the phone records to journalists and just like when their messiah did it, I doubt our corporate press propagandists will give two shits about this. Principals first, principles…wait…what’s that?

      • Chafed

        Exactly. I’m sure in their minds it’s for the greater good.

    • leon

      Both sides can believe that the other is abusing their power to destroy their political opponents.

      Can we just get Swallwell to nuke DC?

      • UnCivilServant

        He’s already engaged in chemical attacks on the municipality.

      • Ozymandias

        I lol’d, UCS

    • R C Dean

      It is deeply concerning that at a time when the president of the United States was using the power of his office to dig up dirt on a political rival,

      Said the politician using the power of his office to dig up dirt on a political rival.

  21. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    White woman surprised to learn that her political party is primarily…white people. How miserable do you have to be to embrace progressivism?

    https://twitter.com/laurenduca/status/1201930900445057024

    “Kamala Harris officially ended her campaign today, which means that all of the candidates who currently qualify for the December Democratic debate are white (Sanders, Warren, Biden, Buttigieg, Klobuchar, and Steyer).

    White supremacy is not just a Fox News problem, folks.”

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      She’s really going to be disappointed if she starts finding out who her neighbors are in Brooklyn. “Wait…I live in a City…therefore diverse. What do you mean it’s gotten whiter and richer since I moved here! “

    • Mojeaux

      You’d think they’d have figured this out by now.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Sometimes I like to convince myself that people like Duca are just playing up the stereotype of a clueless young white progressive and that only stupid people like ENB take her seriously. It’s less maddening to believe this to be true.

      • SugarFree

        They aren’t good at dealing with reality.

        I mean, if the Democratic primary voters are mostly white supremacists, how could anyone black ever win? (Obama) And if they aren’t, you just called your core a bunch of racist scumbags for not supporting a charmless beast who delighted in locking up minor drug users, single moms with truant kids, and presented patently fake AAVE accent to torpedo the actual candidate (Biden) who African-American votes like.

        It’s just like all the dipshits crying at Hillary’s loss. Your thick bubble just popped, stop whining.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Speaking of Obama, Kamala is as much an American black as he is, which is not at all. Her mother is dot Indian and her dad is Jamaican.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Duca is particularly dull

    • R C Dean

      White woman surprised to learn that her political party is primarily…white people

      You mean, like the country itself? Shocking!

      • Ozymandias

        That’s the part that kills me about the logic of what they’ve been pushing culturally. Hey, I like hip-hop and R&B, too, but blacks are only about 1/7th of the population. This idea that white=bad doesn’t really add up mathematically. Maybe white Progressives will be so overwhelmed with guilt they’ll just start killing themselves and the rest of us can get back to living in peace.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Still waiting for eco alarmists to use a plastic bag on themselves. For the planet.

      • Naptown Bill

        That’s one of the problems I’ve always had with diversity quotas. If you tend to see more white people in commercials and movies and so forth, well, I hate to break it to you, but there’s a hell of a lot of us around. There aren’t equal numbers of every skin tone in the US. I remember someone complaining about the racial makeup of federal agencies and arguing that they should more closely represent the communities in which they’re located. Well, guess where most of them are located: DC, aka Chocolate City. No prizes for knowing whether or not the demographic composition of DC residents matches that of the country as a whole. Even if you really wanted to ensure some sort of equal distribution of broad racial ethnicities you’d run out of non-white people pretty quickly. They say that’s likely to change as mixed-race couples become more prevalent but as long as “white” means “mostly European and pale-skinned” I think what’s more likely is you’ll just wind up with more white people in the future who have black great-grandparents or great-great grandparents.

        Really, the whole thing is stupid. Racial ethnicity is so difficult to define as to be essentially meaningless. I wish the Progs would drop it, or at least be called out as functionally no different than any other bunch of racist idiots.

  22. mexican sharpshooter

    I will finish lunch before I read further past the mucus plug.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Better to have something to bring up than dry heaves.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Hmm. Not as bad as I thought.

  23. Annoyed Nomad

    I saw on the Morning Links thread that somebody said that Hillary had a coughing fit while on the Howard Stern show. Was that while she was riding the Sybian?

    • Chafed

      Ewwwwwww.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Which is worse? Imagining Hillary riding the Sybian on Howard Stern or imagining the scene Sugarfree describes above?

      • SugarFree

        As long as they took a flamethrower to the Sybian, local infection rates should taper off in a couple of decades.

      • ron73440

        Made the mistake of googling Sybian, so now I know what that is.

        Learn something everyday here, not always a good thing.

      • SugarFree

        A little knowledge can be a terrible thing.

    • Rhywun

      LOL but I imagine the Sybian is long gone at this point. He’s all “respectable” now. I.e. everything he used to claim to hate.

  24. Chafed

    Reading this during lunch was a mistake.

  25. ron73440

    OT: Anybody watch the Aussie show on FX: Mr Inbetween?

    It’s about how a mob hit man tries to have a normal life and it is violent, dark, emotional, and hilarious.

    I just finished the second season and really hope there is a third one.

    • R C Dean

      I’ve seen a couple of episodes of Season 2. It needs subtitles, because about half of the dialogue is indecipherable to my ears. I think I’d enjoy it if I could understand WTF people are saying.

      • ron73440

        I always have the Directv subtitles on for my wife (Japanese) so I didn’t even notice it being hard to understand.

      • R C Dean

        I did not see a way to get subtitles on mine. And I looked.

  26. R C Dean

    Well, looky here:

    Two Hillary Clinton Donors Indicted for Funneling Illegal Cash to 2016 Campaigns

    Punchline: One of them is “George Nader, who was a key witness in the investigation by Robert Mueller of collusion by the Trump campaign with Russia”\

    It gets better:

    Nader is already in custody, charged with possessing child pornography and traveling with a minor for the purpose of engaging in sexual activity. He was convicted in 1991 of a child pornography charge.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Hello, is this the suicide hotline? great. I have a question, for a friend you know, do you offer bulk order discounts?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Epstein didn’t kill himself.

    • R C Dean

      Its funny. I don’t know a single person for whom there is even a rumor they were involved in child porn or pedophilia. But the Clintons seem acquainted with any number of them.

      Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Child porn or for lack of a better term ephebophilia porn?

      • Ted S.

        Zero is a number.

      • R C Dean

        Somebody needs to tell Ted that Hyperbole highjacked his handle.

      • Bob Boberson

        Nah, that’s normal Ted pedantry. Ted is ‘matter of fact’ pedantic whereas Hyperbole is ‘lets see if I can get a rise’ contrarian (ie troll)

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, it’s amazing how few people get my wit and erudition. 🙁

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m an asshole not a pedant.

      • leon

        HA! You finally admit it!

      • Sean

        Why not both?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Pedasshole?

      • Bob Boberson

        I find it ironic that there is more “there, there’ with respect to Pizzagate than there was with Russiangate.

  27. Spudalicious

    Now THAT’S the SugarFree we’ve all come to know and love.

  28. Gustave Lytton

    “I MUST RUN!”

    Me too. ?? ?

    • Sensei

      I asked in the morning thread – how’d you make out on your JLPT exam?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sorry, missed that!

        Uh, it was an experience. Iffy on listening, bomb on vocab and grammar. But won’t know until March. Random guessing and scaled scores rather than raw score is about the way I’d pass. Kind of intimidating because there were young kids in as well, including two ~8 year olds sitting in front of me who finished each section well before time was called.

        I’d do it again, and will next year.

      • Sensei

        I have a big soft spot for 森高千里!

        For everyone else – Chisato Moritaka – think Madonna levels of popularity in the 1980s with wacky 80s outifts.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Except a Madonna that could write her own music and play instruments. Those those legs…

        And she’s still/now a total MIRF.

      • Sensei

        Yes on all counts!

      • Sensei

        Scaled score is how everybody has a shot at passing these kinds of exams.

        The best way to improve your listening is to listen to lots of content. Otherwise you won’t get better. Although I’m a bit jaded as I’m an auditory learner. Listening is my strong point and I get crushed on kanji. A visual learner probably does the opposite.

        Good luck and ganbatte!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Thanks!

        My takeaway from it (and class) is “wow. I actually kind of sorta understand more than I thought I did”

  29. ChipsnSalsa

    From Pat in the previous post, there is more than this there…

    You can spin it any way you like but sub-market interest rates for 2 decades hasn’t done shit except allow us to finance a bunch of incrementally improved doodads with consumer debt while making it next to impossible to save or build real wealth without speculating in high risk equities all while we blow up huge bubbles in certain asset classes in a desperate attempt to sop up the excess dollars so they don’t show up in consumer inflation statistics.

    I appreciate your wording of “next to impossible to save or build real wealth without speculating in high risk equities”. That sums up my frustration with our markets we have right now. It’s very difficult to not play the game of putting money into 401k and other retirement investment vehicles.

  30. Mojeaux

    I am in love. I can have the garage packed up in no time. Since my son has appropriated and/or strewn everything about and/or lost things, I’m just going to throw everything in bins and sort it out wherever we light.

  31. R C Dean

    Well, Napolitano has lost his mind.

    Fox’s Napolitano: I Would Vote For Impeachment If I Were in Congress

    Napolitano opened by stating that “Democrats have credibly argued that he committed impeachable offenses,” explaining that “by directing his subordinates to not” participate in the investigation led to articles of impeachment in the three cases that proceeded this ordeal. “We know that from history, every time the House of Representatives has looked at that with respect to a president they found it to be impeachable.” He then added, “reasonable minds cannot disagree without rejecting history and constitutional norm.”

    Naturally, examples of the House impeaching a President for declining to cooperate with the investigation are not provided. And neither is an explanation of why the multitudinous examples of executive branch officials not cooperating with Congressional investigations (including Obama’s flat refusal to turn over anything in connection with Fast and Furious) weren’t all impeachable offenses.

    And, of course, how not cooperating with a Congressional investigation is a “high crime or misdemeanor” is also not addressed.

    TDS is a helluva drug.

    • Bob Boberson

      I don’t get it. Judge Nap is close with the Mises Institute and by proxy lots of ‘right-wing’ libertarians (Tom Woods, Dave Smith, Scott Horton, etc)

      None of them have bought off on the impeachment charade to any degree. He seems to be going it alone on this.

      • wdalasio

        I don’t get it. Judge Nap is close with the Mises Institute and by proxy lots of ‘right-wing’ libertarians

        I really don’t want to think this had anything to do with his thinking, but I think I read somewhere that Napolitano was gay. Now, that shouldn’t matter one iota one way or the other. But, I’d imagine there’d be some social pressure in that community to drink the “Orange Man Bad” Kool Aid.

        Maybe someone more knowledgeable could lend this credence or shoot it down.

    • Akira

      “Democrats have credibly argued that he committed impeachable offenses,”

      Someone could write a book on the Left’s Orwellian use of language.

      Beneficial to a Leftist narrative: “Credibly argued” or “Credibly accused”

      Not beneficial to a Leftist narrative: “Asserted without evidence”

    • creech

      “weren’t all impeachable offenses.”

      They probably were but Congress didn’t want to go through the charades and “undermine our democracy.” I think every president from Washington on committed something that a libertarian would consider impeachable under the constitution. Congress, however, has the last word and, until lately, even acute hatred of the guy in the White House has historically been overlooked.