A Review of the Kitchen Aid Model #KFGG500EBL2

by | Jan 2, 2020 | Food & Drink, Products You Need, Reviews | 453 comments

I was originally going to write “A Ranking of Ryes, Round 2,” but based on the feedback from the first installment, I decided to write about what you were really interested in:  my stove!

The Kitchen Aid KFGG500EBL2. Pay no attention to the decorations on top, those do not come with the stove.

If generations of Irish writers have taught the world anything, it’s that you write better with a glass of whiskey on the desk, so I think I’ll try Sazerac Rye while I’m writing about my stove.  It smells like Whiskey, along with gunsmoke and FP-10.  BRB, washing hands.  Trying again, the only really notable thing is the aroma of char, which isn’t that notable at all.  Pretty generic actually.  It tastes rather generic, but good.  Quite lovely actually. An initial “you’re drinking rye,” followed by lingering honey and vanilla flavors.  Nothing that you won’t find in a hojillion other wood-aged spirits, but still delicious.  If it behaves like I think it will upon opening up, I’ll probably prefer it neat.  Yep.  Exactly as predicted.  Dropping it from 90 to 80 is textbook.  This would make a really good teaching whiskey if you were going to have a tasting, since there’s absolutely nothing original about this, but you can use it to explain how  typical whisky responds to changes so people know what you’re talking about.  And most importantly, it’s tasty.

The stove was an upgrade from the builder’s appliance package.  It’s the only upgrade I made, because I didn’t really have an opinion on things like the dishwasher.  Also, for some stupid reason, the default stove was electric, which makes no frigging sense at all in a house that has gas heat and water heating.  He charged me $20 for a gas outlet in the kitchen.

As delivered.

Here is the cooktop in it’s default state.  It does come with what I guess is supposed to be a griddle. It’s removable, and needs to be if you want to use any of the four main burners.  If you look at it, it’s got a little gutter for draining and catching grease if you were frying sausage on it or something, but I’ve never even attempted to use it.  It’s aluminum, so it would likely have a problem with hot spots, and it’s very narrow, especially for the burners.  Let’s talk about the burners:

These were NOT what was listed on the spec sheet

When I was doing my online research, this listed five burners:  one large, one extra-large, two medium, and one small.  Maybe there is something to that underneath in the actual gas outlets, but these burners are of only three sizes, labeled “XL” “M” and “S.”  And frankly, they kind of suck.

During that part of the writing, I emptied my glass.  While that was tasty, I think I’ll try something different to keep the creative juices flowing as it were. Few Rye, from Evan’s old home town.  This one you can smell from two feet away.  It has an ashy, dandelion smell that I typically associate with tequilas underneath whiskey.  Now I wonder if it’s going to have that funk that’s present in agave and cane spirits too.  The answer thankfully is no.  What it does have in a really bright, extremely sweet initial taste.  Even though it’s a bit darker in color, I’m not tasting as much Maillard products as I’d expect.  Instead it has a very direct light, crystalline front with a very long finish.  Nothing about this is overwhelming (in the sense of being gaudy) like the Bulleit or Rittenhouse were.  But very good.  This one is making me happy.  I don’t want to dilute this, but I need to to be fair.  Wow.  Ok, now it’s a lot more aggressive, a lot more spice, a lot more toasty, just a lot more.  A different beast altogether, since it loses that sugary hit that was present in the 93 proof sip.  I’m not sure which one I prefer, but I guess this adds to its value since you’re basically getting two different drinks in the same bottle.

So why do those burners suck?  Well mainly because of how they’re designed.  They’re round, and the heat intensity is controlled by how much gas is glowing through them.  Because the jets are horizontal, your heat is is a ring, and the size of that ring increases as the gas flow does.  What that means for me is that unless I’m using a 10″ pan or larger, I can only use my front burners on the very lowest settings or I’ll a) waste heat by sending it up the side of the pan and b) scorch the everliving fuck out of anything with a polymer or wood handle.  I’m just one guy.  8″ skillets would be great for me, and my saucepans are all 8″ or smaller.  Someday, after I am satisfied with my firearms collection I’l get a stove with controllable concentric banks of star-shaped burners.

What about the oven?

Did you know that ovens are what led to the discovery of quantum mechanics?

New subject, new drinky.  Knob Creek.  It’s very proud of itself, with a fancy-schmancy wax seal and a little “gold medal world’s best rye” symbol on it.  Remember how all spirits used to list all the medals they won, no matter how mediocre the brand?  Like Smirnoff had five world gold medals or something.  That seems to have fallen out of fashion in the spirit-labelling world.  Anyway, this stuff is 100 proof, so there’s definitely going to be some differences in tasting conditions here.  It’s unusually dark, and the nose is… threatening.  Not harsh, not particuarly intense, just… too quiet.  I know there’s a lot of stuff here, but it’s staying hidden.  Let’s see if we can find it.  Remarkable.  Not even remotely harsh (and 100 proof!) with an extremely long consistent taste.  Again, there’s nothing particularly unique here rye-wise, but it’s all so well done.  Like if you took the Sazerac above, put it on a workout regimen with a professional trainer, had a Saville Row tailor make him a suit, and had a top-notch esthetician do his hair.  This is giving me the opposite problem from the Bulleit in the first round:  even though this may be the absolute best rye-qua-rye I’ve tried, do I deduct points for it being so perfectly typical?  Of course that’s all at 100 proof.  At 80 it should be a completely different tipple.  Let’s try.  Well unlike most, bringing this to 80 didn’t cause an explosion in the nose.  Different yes, but not terribly strong. *sips*  Oh my.  Usually the taste change when diluting whiskey is referred to as “opening up,” and that’s a good metaphor especially for those people like myself that synesthesize and taste shapes.  This doesn’t so much open up as unfold.  It doesn’t lose the experience of the neat drink, but it adds to it — it’s like you’re having sex while watching a recording of you having sex with the same person previously AND having a live feed from some cameras giving you different angles of you having sex in real time.  They may not have been bullshitting with their “world’s best rye” claim.  But this is not flashy at all. It’s more of a BMW M series rather than a Lambo.

So about the oven.  It’s an oven.  It’s a space that gets hot.  I don’t do a lot of baking, but I do a lot of roasting of vegetables.  I always run it in convection mode in order to prevent hot spots, but it doesn’t speed thing up as is claimed.  The set temperature matches the oven thermometer’s reading, so I guess it’s right.

Redemption Rye.  On the nose it’s like a bourbon.  In the mouth, it’s a delicious rye whiskey.  But not in the top half of the ones I’ve had tonight.  It’s better at 80 proof than 92.

Winner of round 2:  Knob Creek Rye.

So far, these can be divided into four categories:

Not recommended – Jim Beam

Ryes that are ryes if you like rye and want rye – Sazerac, Redemption, Old Overholt

Ryes that have their own wrinkle – Few, Bulleit

Special Ryes – Knob Creek and Rittenhouse Bottled-In-Bond.

 

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

453 Comments

  1. Spudalicious

    I like the Knob Creek. It’s my go to for making Manhattan’s and is quite fine neat. The Knob Creek Cask Strength is one of my favorite.

    • Spudalicious

      And first, bitches.

      • Not Adahn

        They have an upgraded Knob Creek at my LLS, but it was over my price limit for the initial tasting rounds.

      • Spudalicious

        Is it the Cask Strength, or the Double Wood? I wasn’t impressed with the Double Wood.

      • Not Adahn

        I think it was the Double Wood. Good to know that I can push it off unless I need to fill out a flight.

      • Spudalicious

        It’s dry and has too much barrel flavors.

    • straffinrun

      Having a really hard time wrapping my head around “quite fine neat”.

      • Not Adahn

        Do the Japanese compulsively adulterate whiskey?

      • Not Adahn

        This must be why Hostess bars are so popular.

      • Spudalicious

        That was delightful.

      • straffinrun

        Smooth, isn’t it? This is the original.

  2. Mojeaux

    gas >>> electric

    I am jelly.

    • Urthona

      nuclear >>> gas

      Unless you have a nuclear stove, you’re not really cooking.

      • Mojeaux

        This, I cannot argue.

      • Gustave Lytton

        +1 Mr Fusion?

    • Not Adahn

      In general, I agree with you, but there are two things that electric does much better:

      -low temperature/simmer. Gas never burns cooler than fire. Electric can get arbitrarily warm.
      -boiling water. The metal-on-metal contact of the burners and the pan transfers heat much better than flame to metal. Unless you’ve got the wok-style multi-rank burner, an electric burner on full blast can put more heat into your pot, and it can do it vastly more efficiently than a gas which will always waste heat via convection (which means you need more point-of-use ventilation).

      • Rebel Scum

        I have found electric useful in conjunction with cast iron as it is efficient at absorbing, retaining and distributing heat. You do have to be careful with heat application as a result.

      • Mojeaux

        I’ve been cooking a little on my mom’s gas stove lately, and I have an electric

        You may be right, but I haven’t noticed. For my purposes, whatever advantage electric has over gas is negligible. The only thing I can think of where this might be significant for me is when I’m deep frying things in my deep skillet, where the surface area keeps the heat evenly dispersed.

        What I hate about electric, which is significant to me, is how long it takes for an electric ring to cool down from high to, say, medium, which is too long.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, the cooldown time does suck. I’ve damaged cutting boards and colanders by setting them down on burners that weren’t as cold as I thought they were.

      • cyto

        I agree with you…. if you want to boil water, you want electric. Much faster.

        If you want to make crepes, saute vegetables, scramble eggs, fry an egg, keep something warm…. basically anything where you want very fine and very quick temperature control… you want gas.

      • Tejicano

        I grew up learning to cook with electric but have always had a gas cook top here in Japan. I would never willingly go back to electric.

        But on a recent project the room I was in had one of those new-fangled IH stove tops. Definitely the worst of the three. Lots of fun trying to make an omelette on a cooktop that shuts off every time I picked up the pan. Eff that with prejudice.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’ve seen the IH logo on stoves in videos and wondered what those were. So an induction type stovetop?

      • Count Potato

        “-low temperature/simmer. Gas never burns cooler than fire. Electric can get arbitrarily warm.”

        They can in theory, but they don’t in practice. Instead, they cycle on and off. A gas candle flame is better, because the heat is constant.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, they typically use pulse-width modulation to regulate the temperature, but depending on the hardware you can absolutely hold it at a constant sub-boiling. I’ve had cheap shitty electrics in rentals that could, and I’ve also had cheap shitty electrics that used pulse intervals that were way too long.

      • Rhywun

        The last time I had electric was a cheap-ass rental in Buffalo some decades ago. Never seen it in the wild in NYC. Everyone has gas – at least until Cuomo command electric in order to heal the earth.

      • westernsloper

        I have a portable induction burner as well as a coil like hot plate. If I want gas I have to get the Coleman camp stove out, Done it before do it again.

      • Jarflax

        Electric can get arbitrarily warm.

        You would think so, but my glass top ‘adjusts’ the heat by adjusting the percentage of the time the coil is heating. In other words it is always all the way on, or all the way off. On the highest setting it is always all the way on and on the lowest setting it turns on briefly then off again. I really hate it a lot. It is in fact superior for boiling water now that I bought a good quality, heavy tri-clad stainless stock pot, but for anything else it sucks. Probably the worst aspect is that I can no longer use my favorite pot for sauteing things, because it is convex on the bottom and heavy gauge (which is what made it so excellent for anything that involved controlled heat). Curved bottem = no good on induction.

    • Count Potato

      “The stove was an upgrade from the builder’s appliance package. It’s the only upgrade I made, because I didn’t really have an opinion on things like the dishwasher. Also, for some stupid reason, the default stove was electric, which makes no frigging sense at all in a house that has gas heat and water heating. He charged me $20 for a gas outlet in the kitchen.”

      What Mojo said. You can make an argument that for newer ovens, electric is better. Which is why you can buy gas stoves with electric ovens.

      Although I agree that having large single rings seems stupid.

  3. Rebel Scum

    I am not big on liquor, but I have had Knob Creek and it is ok. Plus the name is fun.

    • cyto

      You have to read that name in Beavis and Butthead voice…

      “Heh… you said, ‘knob’…. heh, heh…”

    • Bob Boberson

      “I am not big on liquor”

      Jim Lahey narrows gaze

  4. Urthona

    Which one tastes best with coke and like 7 ice cubes?

    Thx.

    • Not Adahn

      Jim Beam. Or Old Overholt.

      • Spudalicious

        Old Overholt.

      • cyto

        Wrong answer.

        Correct answer is….

        “What? Why would you do such a th…. You know what… nevermind. “

      • Not Adahn

        Coca-cola and rye might be the most American cocktail ever. Garnish it with a cherry and call it a “George Washington.”

      • cyto

        Sounds like something a guy who orders his tenderloin well done would say.

      • Not Adahn

        Tenderloin should never be a steak.

      • cyto

        I had beef wellington for the first time New Year’s eve. Dinner at a friend’s house…. it was, as one might expect, spectacular.

        So I can second that sentiment.

      • slumbrew

        Place we went on NYE had beef wellington as a special – server told us they figured they’d have plenty of portions and promptly sold out by 8:30.

        The lesson: people love beef wellington, especially on holiday nights.

      • Not Adahn

        people love beef wellington

        Well, only because it’s delicious.

      • cyto

        Cyto’s recipe for a Rye based cocktail:

        Buy the good stuff.
        Get a glass.
        Pour some Rye in it.
        Enjoy!

    • westernsloper

      Back when I did coke I preferred fru fru drinks like a sea breeze.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Seagram’s 7 Crown.

      • Fourscore

        With 7-Up. Fit for a teenager like a young Fourscore

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s works just as well dumped into cola products never to be seen separately again.

      • C. Anacreon

        Yup. A 7 and diet coke is about zero carbs and a tasty inexpensive drink, especially at a place where the bartenders don’t know how to make a Manhattan.

  5. Drake

    Bravo Sir! I lol’ed as soon as I saw the title.

  6. cyto

    I would post a full review of my electric cooktop acquisition, but instead here’s the story as an anecdote.

    So we need to remodel the kitchen. That’s a given. But costs are high and motivation is low…. so we are procrastinating.

    And then a burner went out on my 1959 GE cooktop. $45 for a replacement. No way I’m paying that. So we’ll hang on for a bit.

    A year later, a second burner went out. Dang. So now we really need to get that remodel done. Except the local “Moma’s Market” facebook group came to the rescue. Someone was buying a new gas cooktop and looking to get rid of their old one. A pretty basic white, 4 burner electric cooktop. Should be a drop-in replacement for our busted up old 1959 model. Two $20’s and it is all mine! First time I can remember being glad that the wife hangs out on facebook all the time.

    Drop in replacement….. yeah, right.

    So, even though it appeared to be the exact size, it is actually probably a quarter inch too small. It covers the opening in the counter, but only barely. Give it a whack and it opens up a tiny crack on one side. But that wasn’t the real challenge.

    This one is made to be hard wired. The old one actually had one of those heavy duty 3-prong plugs. And I really didn’t feel like turning off the power and finding a replacement cover for the outlet at 9 pm. (no way this project is stopping half way. I don’t need to get divorced over something this dumb)

    So I check the switches for the old burner. Instead of being in the cooktop, they are located on the front of the cabinet underneath. You know, so toddlers can reach the fun push-buttons. Anyway, that is where the old cord terminates….. and it opens up real easy. So that’s my new junction box…. a couple of wire nuts and the job is done in 10 minutes.

    The new cooktop is actually really good. Control is good, heat is high so water boils quick. Even the wok works great. Pretty nice for what was obviously the base appliance from the condo build a couple of years ago.

    And it allowed me to continue procrastinating that kitchen remodel that is long, long overdue. But that is another story……

    • Not Adahn

      Doing your own 240V wiring without burning down your house is deeply satisfying.

      • cyto

        LOL

      • westernsloper

        It is, and they make plug ends for the bare wires so that was another option if you run into it again.

      • cyto

        Sure… but that would have required leaving the nest….

        Not an option with “She who must be obeyed” in a near-panic once the old top came out. Change isn’t easy for her… even change that she insists upon.

      • westernsloper

        Aaaaah, been there.

      • Ted S.

        Dad was an electrician, so we didn’t have to worry about faulty electric work.

      • Playa Manhattan

        But was he a good electrician?

  7. Tundra

    Ha!

    I have a Kitchenaid gas range with the two ovens. Love it! (seriously, two ovens is incredibly helpful).

    The last rye I had was Knob Creek. Also loved it!

    • cyto

      The last rye I had was from Costco. Hated it. Dry-ass bread. Why anyone wants rye or pumpernickel is beyond me…. at least not when good old wheat bread is available in so many delicious varieties.

      • Not Adahn

        SMDH.

        How can you make a Reuben sandwich without rye bread?

      • Not Adahn

        There was a great Irish place that served boxtys. Then they got bought out and are “Irish.” They only serve black and white pudding for breakfast on Sundays now.

      • cyto

        Yeah, yeah… that’s how you have a Reuben. I know. But exactly how many Reuben’s am I gonna eat? That loaf was enough for 2 years worth of sandwiches.

        So I tried it with peanut butter and banana. In case you were wondering….. that’s a no.

      • Not Adahn

        Toasted with butter and a good German beer. And any cured meats you might have laying around wouldn’t hurt either.

      • Rhywun

        Mmmmm… Abendessen.

      • Mojeaux

        Rye/pumpernickel marbled bread.

      • Fourscore

        I like the stronger flavored bread. The whole wheat in the oatmeal/oatnut is what I use routinely but on occasion the rye/pumpernickel. I eat a slice or two a week only, keep it frozen ’til use.

  8. westernsloper

    Interesting NA thanks! I am a big fan of Bulleit rye but I am not a regular whisky drinker. I will check out the others if price point is in the ball park.

  9. Juvenile Bluster

    OT, but big:

    Holy fucking shit. US killed Qassem Solaimi and several of his attaches in Iraq. Or that’s the report right now.

    • Not Adahn

      We declared his org a terrorist group right? So under the law of Obama the Just and Merciful, that means we’re entitled to drone him and all his family… including his in-laws IIRC.

    • cyto

      Wow… I’ll bet that gets a lot of praise from the media….

      • Juvenile Bluster

        WaPo has already gone with a “revered military leader” headline.

      • Count Potato

        Are we sure that’s not fake?

      • cyto

        No way….

        quick look…

        Airstrike kills major Iranian military figure in Iraq

        It was not clear who carried out the strike at Baghdad Airport, but the death of Qassem Soleimani, one of Iran’s most revered military leaders, seems certain to send tensions soaring between the United States and Iran.

        Ok, so not the headline anymore, but in the lede.

        And they have gone with the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” formula that has been so popular for them with Trump. So now a limited drone strike outside Iranian territory against the actual guy giving the orders is going to send tensions soaring…. not killing US citizens and attacking a US embassy.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        This is absolutely going to send tensions soaring. Not sure what the target will be though.

      • Not Adahn

        NOT destroying that missile battery that attacked the ship, followed by this. At least it will keep people guessing. Kruschev would approve.

        When is the last time we straight-up assassinated someone?

      • Tundra

        Epstein?

      • Not Adahn

        That’s less “we” and more “she.”

      • commodious spittoon

        #I’m With Her

      • cyto

        Funny….

        But in reality, Obama had a secret kill list and a pen.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Now “major Iranian military figure”.

    • straffinrun

      The People’s Popular Front of Judea is gonna be pissed. Or is it the other group?

    • Ozymandias

      https://www.foxnews.com/world/rockets-baghdad-airport-injuries-reported

      Damn. Russian 122mm. Those are like our old 5″ Zunis and I can tell you from personal experience, having fired Zunis and having been on the wrong of a couple of 122s, holy shit do they make big boom. If that hit anywhere near them, there won’t be much to find.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Well you survived two of them?

      • Ozymandias

        They were… far enough away and I was behind Hesco barriers, but I am telling you what, the three of us all instantaneously levitated into the fetal position. Then the dust rolled in over the wall… and the screaming started.

        And again, having fired them from 300′ AGL, what they hit? It is hit. They fly straight, like arrows. We called them ‘flying telephone poles,’ althought they obviously aren’t that big, but compared to our normal 2.75″ rockets, they’re BIG.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Yikes. Well when you want the job done right, you want the job done right.

      • Gustave Lytton

        one of the victims was its airport protocol officer

        Lemme guess- the official Iraqi line will be they had no idea Soleimani was in the country.

      • Not Adahn

        I think they’ve been hosting Iranian officials… officially for a while now.

      • Playa Manhattan

        You might say he went to pieces. Literally.

        There’s a picture floating around on the internet. Do not recommend.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Is that what precipitated the embassy attack, or is this a new strike in retaliation?

      • Juvenile Bluster

        New strike in retaliation. I think.

      • Ozymandias

        Yeah, this was a message sender, for certain. They used 122s, which are (a) ubiquitous in the area, and (b) not US made, but I suspect everyone who needs to know (the Iranians and Iraqis) will be well-informed of WTF just happened.
        Hey, the media blew Obama while he was Mr. Drone Strike in the FATA, but now Trump has just let everyone know if you attack a US embassy, they will ID your ass in pictures at the scene and then put a 5″ rocket into your vehicle within a couple of days. If you’re going to use force to correct behavior, much like with dogs and other pets, you want it to be as close in time to the offense as possible. So, kudos on that much.

    • R C Dean

      So we killed them with Russian rockets?

      Is that cultural appropriation or something?

      • Spudalicious

        That sends multiple messages.

      • westernsloper

        Colllluuuuuuzzzzion!

    • slumbrew

      One of the twatters put it as “how would we feel if Iran killed Petraeus?” (not timely, but whatever).

      It’s “military officer killed on foreign soil” – not like Mitch Rapp mantled into his window and garroted him.

      He wasn’t some tourist just minding his own business

  10. straffinrun

    And you even cleaned your stove unlike some people around here. *Two giant Knobs up!*

  11. kinnath

    My range died two days after Christmas (a year ago). Two days earlier, and it would have been a disaster with 18 people coming over for dinner.

    I got one of these glass top radiant cooking surfaces.

    It has one extra large burner that is the same size as my 8-gallon brew kettle, which I used several times over the last couple of weeks to make beer.

    • RAHeinlein

      How’s the temperature control – can you easily go from boiling to simmer? Our range died last Christmas with the turkey in the oven and we had to settle for the sub-standard Samsung in-stock at Lowe’s, so looking to replace.

      • kinnath

        We’ve been really happy with it so far. But I have to admit, we only cook occasionally when guests come over. Be I do use and like the oven a lot.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I have the Samsung from Best Buy or Home Depot- can’t remember which. It’s pretty much disposable.

        I drilled out the orifice on one of the burners, so now I can probably get 20k BTUs on it.

        Do you have any experience with Alto-Shaam?

  12. Fourscore

    Our entire married life has been based on an electric cook stove. Our first house was total electric, this one is all electric accept for heat. Mrs Fourscore swears by her glass top cook surfaces, I use the microwave a lot.

    • Not Adahn

      We had a smoothtop. The kitty kept jumping on it. Until one day…

  13. commodious spittoon

    Since appliances are discussed… do water heaters cycle or something? Are they on a timer? Sometimes I get a tub of piping hot water with more to spare, and sometimes it’s lukewarm at half-full. It’s so hit-or-miss that I’ve been boiling water on the stove to supplement so I’m not disappointed when I draw a bath.

    • cyto

      No, they work on a thermostat. They have a big tank – 40, 60, 80 gallons….. and usually 2 heating elements, one at the top and one at the bottom. If you use up what is in the tank, it takes a while to heat it back up, but that top burner will knock the chill off at least.

      If you are getting half the amount of hot water you expect when someone has been using the hot water, but not so terribly recently, you might have a burner burned out. This symptom usually means it is the bottom burner that is out, so you end up with a tank that is hot on top and cold on the bottom.

      Easy to check and repair yourself.

      • Fourscore

        I had to replace an element on a fairly new heater that had gotten little use. Element was corroded, the heater put out warm water but took a long time to even get warm. I bought an extra element, in case.

        Yeah, the cold water comes in from the bottom.

      • commodious spittoon

        Really good to know. Thank you.

    • Tundra

      Probably heat loss. They work best if there is more demand. If you have a small household, an on-demand might be a good choice!

      • Playa Manhattan

        I love it. I never run out of hot water, and it’s much more efficient.

      • slumbrew

        The start-up delay is annoying, but I otherwise enjoy it.

      • Mojeaux

        So, part of my aesthetic is small and efficient. If I were going to live in a tiny house (which are adorable), I would have on-demand hot water by necessity, but I would ALSO have an incinerating toilet.

        I don’t know how on-demand would work on a bigger house.

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        how on-demand would work

        It works great anywhere you have the amps. For 1.5GPM, figure 60A @220VAC.

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      Are they on a timer?

      It’s literally on our proverbial thermostat. You might have a touchy temp sensor.

  14. Ted S.

    We have electric, both ceramic cooktop and oven. To be honest, the toaster oven gets just as much use because Dad’s not into fancy cooking. (Seriously, if I were to bread a cut of chicken he’d scrape off the breading.)

    • Sean

      ?

      The tolerant left.

      • Not Adahn

        So lame. Remember when Hustler would write stories about people they don’t like being conceived in an outhouse? I guess the Curse of Soy has reached even there.

      • Rhywun

        I’ve seen the same sentiment IRL from people I thought I knew better. It sickened me.

    • cyto

      Ok, I’m gonna go there….

      Just imagine, if you will… a similar stunt about Obama.

      Go on, I double-dog dare you.

      • Tundra

        Duh. Hate crime and hard time.

    • DrOtto

      At least it was “Merry Christmas” and not “Happy Holidays”. That would’ve been a cop-out.

  15. Ozymandias

    The Missus likes electric, specifically because – “it heats water faster.” I can’t say she’s incorrect, but I hate electric for all the reasons everyone already listed (and knows) and I like gas for same (already covered).

    There’s more to cooking than boiling water – and I am as far from a “cook” as it is possible to be. But thankfully the issue is settled as we’re not changing from gas. Also, the giant round burner thing sucks. We’ve got one right in the middle that makes it hard to use the 4 corners if you’re using the middle. And it makes the bacon cook weird in the big skillet.

    • Tundra

      Learned on gas, lived with electric, back to gas.

      Never, ever going back.

      • Ozymandias

        Exactly.

    • westernsloper

      Dood, cook your bacon in the oven.

      • Rhywun

        ^this

      • Jarflax

        You are both wrong. Bacon cooked in a skillet is much more work, but yields a better result. Isn’t bacon worth the effort?

      • mrfamous

        Generally, but you could make some truly awesome one skillet breakfasts using the bacon fat (obviously drain most of it unless you’re a god damned lunatic).

      • Tundra

        Bacon fat must be reserved for searing steaks later in the week.

        It is known.

        Tulpa. 😉

      • Not Adahn

        Yup. I have jars dedicated to storing bacon fat.

        But I use it for eggs, hash browns brussels sprouts…

      • mrfamous

        This is actually not what I would use bacon fat for. I just don’t think it would add anything to the steak that a neutral oil wouldn’t. YMMV. Now potatoes and all manner of vegetables would be a different story. Wonder how it would do in a roux for a cheese sauce.

      • Tundra

        On a reverse sear, bacon grease and pepper is fucking amazing.

      • westernsloper

        Exactly! Only a fool throws bacon fat away.

      • JD is Unemployed

        It’s needed to ward off trolls, or bait them, I forget which. Good movie.

      • Rhywun

        I’ve tried frying potatoes in it and TBH I didn’t really care for the results.

      • Not Adahn

        Really? I find it gives much better results than butter, since it doesn’t have the suspended solids to brown/burn before the potatoes do.

      • Rhywun

        I normally use canola oil so that’s not an issue.

        But I’ll probably try the bacon fat again soon – it IS convenient.

      • Not Adahn

        STEVE SMITH ALWAYS USE RAPE OIL!

      • Tundra

        Butter, olive oil, avacado oil, and bacon fat are all vastly superior to canola oil. In many ways.

      • Rhywun

        Tundra:

        I know…. I will probably make adjustments /upgrade after this jug of canola is done.

      • Tundra

        Rhywun:

        Costco has big things of coconut, ghee, olive, and avocado oils. Also Kerrygold. No need to use those nasty veggie oils ever again!

      • Playa Manhattan

        Duck fat.

        I can’t explain why, but it’s really good on potatoes in particular.

      • slumbrew

        Duck fat makes everything better.

      • mrfamous

        Yeah, I don’t get it. Maybe play with the heat or potentially the thickness and shape of the potatoes. Cause potatoes, onions and bell peppers in bacon fat is money for me. I do recommend draining most of the bacon fat (save it if you like). You want it to flavor the stuff, not dominate it.

      • Rhywun

        I’m sold! That sounds delicious. Homemade potatoes O’Brien FTW.

      • KSuellington

        Duck fat yields the best fried potatoes. Amazing.

      • commodious spittoon

        obviously drain most of it unless you’re a god damned lunatic

        ohi’msorryithoughtthiswasamerica.gif

      • mrfamous

        I do get it, but there’s a subtle difference between “fats and red meats are not particularly bad for you and can be beneficial, particularly for men” and “we’re gonna need to use Liquid Plumbr on your GI tract because it has solidified.”

      • Mojeaux

        This has never worked for me. I don’t know why.

      • Not Adahn

        What goes wrong when you try it?

      • Mojeaux

        It never actually gets DONE. The meat is rubbery and the fat is too chewy.

        I like the meat to be vaguely crispy and the fat edges to be crunchy. I would rather have crunchy bacon than chewy bacon, especially if I’m putting it on a sandwich.

      • Jarflax

        For me it is more subtle. Baked or broiled bacon undergoes some sort of a texture change in the fat, I am not sure what exactly causes it, but it gets a sort of washed out flavor and a slightly gritty texture, as if too much fat has cooked out of the fat cells or something. I like my bacon at the cusp of crispy/chewy.

      • Mojeaux

        Baked or broiled bacon undergoes some sort of a texture change in the fat, I am not sure what exactly causes it, but it gets a sort of washed out flavor and a slightly gritty texture

        Yes!!! It is gritty, now that you’ve brought that to mind.

      • Rhywun

        Ohhhh… keep at it. I was dubious at first but I think I’ve got it nailed. 350 or 375 for 15 minutes – adjust as needed. I like my bacon jussssst done and I find that I alwasy overcook it on the stovetop.

      • Playa Manhattan

        425 minimum. And put it on a wire rack so it crips evenly on both sides.

      • mrfamous

        Works really well for me. I do find that if you find a cut or brand of bacon you really like, run with it and don’t bargain shop. For me, the bacon itself is the biggest determinant of success.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Whole Foods Black Forest brand bacon is the best grocery store bacon. Fight me.

      • slumbrew

        Do you get Jansal Valley on the left coast? It’s great.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Never heard of it before, and I don’t recognize the package.

        I would definitely try it if I had the chance. From the pictures, it looks quality.

      • slumbrew

        It’s great and they carry it at WF but, as I suspected, it’s regional.

        I don’t even know if I’ve seen a WF-branded “Black Forest” bacon here.

      • Playa Manhattan

        It’s at the butcher counter, unpackaged, and sold by the pound. Recognizable by the dark edges.

      • slumbrew

        That’s gotta be local bacon – what I get and what you get may be wildly different.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I’ll ask next time I’m there.

        This is important enough to require a follow-up.

      • CPRM

        My favorite bacon is out of my price range, so I don’t usually buy bacon, lest I get depressed about my current state of affairs.

    • Count Potato

      “Iran’s Soleimani and Iraq’s Muhandis killed in air strike: militia spokesman

      BAGHDAD (Reuters) – Iranian Major-General Qassem Soleimani, head of the elite Quds Force, and Iraqi militia commander Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis were killed late on Thursday in an air strike on their convoy in Baghdad airport, an Iraqi militia spokesman told Reuters.

      “The American and Israeli enemy is responsible for killing the mujahideen Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis and Qassem Soleimani,” said Ahmed al-Assadi, a spokesman for Iraq’s Popular Mobilization Forces umbrella grouping of Iran-backed militias.”

      https://www.reuters.com/article/us-iraq-security-blast-soleimani/irans-soleimani-and-iraqs-muhandis-killed-in-air-strike-militia-spokesman-idUSKBN1Z201C

      • straffinrun

        Never even heard of the guy until 5 minutes ago. Am I wrong to think the US just found itself in a much higher pitched battle? Justified?

      • cyto

        I dunno.

        If I was an enlisted man, I might give this one a big “Hell Yeah!”.

        This guy was probably the guy giving the orders to attack the embassy and to launch the rockets that killed that US citizen. Better him than some truck full of enlisted men who have no say in any of it.

        But this is definitely a higher pitched battle now…. because I would absolutely interpret this as a warning to the leadership in Iran – they are on the target list. Basically, you target our Ambassador, and we’ll start coming after your leadership class. And that makes for a scared and dangerous animal.

        Look for Trump to offer up an olive branch pretty quickly – I’m sure he feels like he has them at a major disadvantage and wanting desperately to make a deal. He might not be right about that, but I’ll bet that this is how he feels and how he intends to proceed. Basically, OK, you have seen the stick. You wanna have a second chance with the carrot? Or should we bring out the big stick?

      • straffinrun

        I’ll be honest and it may not be a popular opinion right now, but I want the US out of Iraq yesterday. Even if it was being used as a way to gain negotiating advantage and it worked, the big picture is that the US shouldn’t even be there in 2020. Don’t really have any other hottake than that right now.

      • cyto

        Adjacent question….. why the hell do these cultures insist on dictatorships? We tried to pull out of there almost immediately, and their government proved inept. And a decade and a half later, we are still there, because the people seem to want to live in a military dictatorship.

      • slumbrew

        I’ve heard various explanations that basically boil down to “tribalism is still an incredibly powerful force there”. They don’t trust non-tribe members, so you can’t just end up with a president/PM – you end up with a strongman who can steamroll over tribal differences.

        He makes the trains run on time-ish.

      • straffinrun

        The people are probably scared shitless of the strong men and so go for their own strong man or at least tolerate him because the other option is worse. There’s a reason functioning liberal democracies are so rare and tend to devolve over time.

      • Rhywun

        With you there. Long past time to go home.

      • Bob Boberson

        ^This^

      • cyto

        The American and Israeli enemy…..

        Nice.

        I bet Israel is really happy about that….

    • Drake

      Why was an Iranian General in Iraq while the U.S.. Embassy wad under attack?

      • Gustave Lytton

        With an airport protocol officer. Meaning he wasn’t just on a tourist visa.

      • Jarflax

        Yes, it is a huge deal. Obviously it takes a special genius to plan attacks that boil down to randomly blowing up crap when you get the chance. The shear strategic genius of these ‘terrorist leaders’ beggars the imagination.

  16. Ozymandias

    I’ll repost this thought from above:

    If they (whoever ‘they’ might be) used 122s, you can be, like horseshoes, simply ‘close enough.’ It will leave… a mess.

    • Ozymandias

      Fuck. Brooks’d it. That was a reply to you, CP.

      • Count Potato

        From what I’ve read so far, whatever they used made a huge boom. Lot’s of speculation, not much verified information.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Assault weapons, black ones, full semiautomatic, with things that go up.

      • cyto

        And handles. Lots of handles and scopes and things. Make’s ’em extra dangerous.

      • Rhywun

        Ghost bombs.

      • Not Adahn

        “And those who want to build bombs must step out of the shadows!”

      • dbleagle

        Kudos if a 122 was used. Iran manufactures them and ships them to Iraq. Just think of it as returning merchandise.

        Having been near incoming 122’s I will second Ozy. They are a significant event for your day.

  17. Sean

    Of those 8 ryes, only Old Overholdt & Rittenhouse are in my normal buy rotation.

    • Not Adahn

      I’m going to keep Few and Knob Creek around, fwiw.

  18. DEG

    it’s like you’re having sex while watching a recording of you having sex with the same person previously AND having a live feed from some cameras giving you different angles of you having sex in real time

    That’s an interesting description.

    For gas and electric stoves: I’ve used both. I can get done what I need to with either.

  19. Charles Easterly

    I have an honest question that actually relates to “Not Adahn'”s article.

    Do any of you or anyone you know have (I hope are very good) suggestions regarding counter-top convection ovens?

  20. R C Dean

    Two thoughts:

    You need a better stove. That thing is grossly underpowered. A stove that can deliver serious BTUs changes your cooking (both process and results) for the better. But a stove with burners like you want is going to cost serious scratch. The good news: good stoves can deliver more heat without being cranked up and “spreading” the flame too much.

    I envy your palate. And writing.

    Knob Creek is on my list.

    • Not Adahn

      The problem is to upgrade the stove, I’ll also need to upgrade my ventilation.

      It’s like buying more guns means you need to drop kilobux on a new safe. And another kilobuck on delivery of that same safe. It’s a cascade of expenses.

      • cyto

        Or you could just get a couple of hooks over the fireplace. Worked for grandpa…..

      • Gustave Lytton

        Firearms or cooking?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I sincerely hope he didn’t cook grandpa by hanging him on hooks over the fireplace.

      • R C Dean

        First time I replaced a stove, the domino effect (countertops, cabinets, etc.) didn’t stop until the entire house had been gutted to the studs and renovated.

      • R C Dean

        We’ve had Dacor a couple times, and been very happy. They have “simmer l rings that put a low flame on the inside, which would help your flame spreading issue.

  21. Florida Man

    I guess I’m alone in my hate for Knob Creek. I like the other seven ryes better and am really fond of whistlepig, michtner’s, templeton’s, sagamore spirit and angel’s envy.

    • Not Adahn

      Two of those are in Round 3.

      • Florida Man

        Yay!

  22. Yusef in Space......

    I hate to rain on a nice day, but..
    Wendy is going for open heart surgery in the AM, She’s in the best place you could ask for, but there is a big risk, I’m scared and crying, and FFS I’m totally alone,
    I have to keep going, but its getting hard…

    • Not Adahn

      I’m sorry Robert.

      • Yusef in Space......

        Robert huh? how odd, only my Dad called me that, when I was in trouble…

      • Not Adahn

        That’s what you get for putting that in you pic sharing, Bob!

      • Yusef in Space......

        In that reference, if you put it out there, get your name straight and full,
        Robert Lozonne, like that.

    • Florida Man

      Sorry bud. Good luck to you and yours.

      • Yusef in Space......

        if I vanish, you’ll know why…

    • DEG

      I’m sorry. I hope for the best for you and Wendy.

    • Tundra

      Prayers, Bob.

    • Drake

      You aren’t alone.

      • Yusef in Space......

        Other than the Glibs, I really am alone, family is a worthless joke, you are my Family,

    • Spudalicious

      God bless you, Bob. I will pray for the best for Wendy.

    • Count Potato

      I am so sorry 🙁

      • Yusef in Space......

        I just wish it would stop, I can’t keep up, I’m wearing out…

    • cyto

      Prayers from my family to yours….

      Just do the dude thing…. focus on her, being what she needs, doing what she needs to be done. Gives you less time to think.

      • Yusef in Space......

        Done and done, I made a place for her, we just need her home,

    • straffinrun

      Hang in there, Yusef. She needs you.

      • slumbrew

        Seconded – it’s tough on you, but you’re carrying the weight.

    • westernsloper

      Prayers to you and Wendy.

      • Yusef in Space......

        I’ll keep you all posted on her condition tommorow,
        thank you all for your gracious support

    • R C Dean

      Breaks my heart to hear it, my friend. Any problems with the hospital, let me know. TPTB c an give you my email.

      • Yusef in Space......

        I wiil, your AZ local, yes?

      • R C Dean

        Yes.

        Just let me know. Hospitals have pain points. Any problems, let me know.

    • Mojeaux

      Yusef, you and Wendy remain in our prayers.

    • Gustave Lytton

      She’s in the best place, then you can’t do anything more than that. Small words and I’d be climbing the walls if it were me, I know. Have faith Yusef, in yourself and Wendy.

    • Jarflax

      You are in my thoughts! So is Wendy.

  23. Spudalicious

    Does Iran not understand what a “counter puncher” is? They’re lucky they still have a navy.

    • Drake

      My guess is they won’t in a week because they do something really stupid in retaliation.

      • cyto

        After the bit about snatching ships, I might have been tempted to eliminate their ability to travel by water. Good thing I’m not in charge.

        I kinda view warfare as a binary thing. It is on, or off. So you leave it off unless there is really no good alternative. And then when you turn war on, it is total war. Unconditional surrender, we own you lock, stock and barrel sort of warfare. Maybe some tribute is in order after you sue for peace…. you know.. old school.

        And if you step too far over the line, maybe we go full Romans at Carthage.

        Yeah…… don’t put me in charge. You’ll spend the whole time complaining that I’m too pacifist. Then one day, full Manius Manillius at Carthage.

      • Tundra

        Uh, isn’t that just a modified NAP?

      • Yusef in Space......

        I subscribe to your version of War, please continue,

      • cyto

        It is all part of my presidential platform. I call it the “See how quickly I can get impeached” platform. I suppose Trump pulled a version of this, stealing my thunder…. but I thought of it first. I’ve been not-running on that platform since 2000.

        First, I’d release all prisoners of victimless crimes. All the hookers, all the johns, all the drug dealers and users. That’d probably do it. No complicated, years long process… just one big executive order and done. And I’d come after state prisons on that front as well.

        If I still had the job after that first day, I’d start the budget process. No more continuing resolutions. No more last year as a baseline. Everything from a zero budget. Justify every dollar. Start with an explanation of how this is constitutional. That one would surely get me impeached before it went anywhere. Probably assassinated, because Social Security is really gonna have a hard time making the cut on constitutionality. So is… pretty much all of it. Then, we start in on tax policy. Taxes are designed to pay for the budget… not some independent floating entity. So you set your taxes to match your expenditures. Luckily, by sticking to constitutional spending, everyone gets a huge tax cut. Well, except for those millions of former federal employees.

        We’d have a really hard time ever implementing my defense policies, but the are pretty much the national version of the rich guy who is into home defense. Make sure you can win any scrap. Don’t get into any scraps, ever, if you can avoid it at all. But if someone breaks in to your home, or threatens you and yours….. you cut them in half without a second thought. I gotta think the US military command and rank and file would love that sort of policy. Either sit around training – or go destroy everything until the enemy is crushed beneath your feet. No half measures.

        There’s loads more, but any one of those would get you tossed out on your ear pretty quick. If you lived long enough to be impeached.

        And I’m fairly certain that these policies are exactly what our government is intended to be.

      • Ozymandias

        I have an article in the queue for TPTB on this subject: conduct of war in Libertopia (basically)

      • Ozymandias

        Great tune.

      • Mojeaux

        And then when you turn war on, it is total war. Unconditional surrender, we own you lock, stock and barrel sort of warfare.

        This.

        Quick, efficient, gets the point across.

      • Ozymandias

        I hope you will be around for the comments on the article I wrote (perhaps presuming too much, but assuming TPTB publish it. JarFlax, too).

      • Jarflax

        When is it hitting? I love me some just war/total war debate.

      • Mojeaux

        I will!

        I have always been a “just doopy-doop along until somebody hits you, try to walk away, if they force you to engage then put them down hard and immediately” type of person.

        I have also always been a “WTF are we in other people’s countries and messing around with them and giving them money?” I have never had a good explanation for why we helped Germany rebuilt after WWII, but then again, I don’t know why we were there in the first place. Or WWI, either.

        I don’t know how or where or when those two things got into me, but I suspect it’s just my innate need for quick and efficient action on…anything…and get the damned thing done.

        Once and done. I do not have time or brain space or energy to spend on a project after I have deemed it finished. It’s why I hate housework. It’s never. fucking. finished. Bills. Doctor’s appointments/followups. Calling people back. Making appointments.

        You have these little upstarts thinking they can come here, crash some planes, and declare victory. Okay, well…

        They did. They won.

        We have the Patriot Act, Homeland Security, TSA, and now Real IDs.

        But why? Turn the fucking ME to glass immediately (or let Israel do it) and there won’t be anybody for the next 500 years who are going to fuck with us.

        Quick, efficient, gets the point across. Yes, there will be lots and lots and lots of innocent people dying because of a few upstarts with a bone to pick. I’m sorry about that. Really, I am. But I’d still hit the button.

        No, I don’t feel strongly about this or anything. Nope. Not at all.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I don’t know why we were there in the first place. Or WWI, either.

        Mostly because of progressive presidents who wanted the backwater US to be seen as an elite euro-style power. Partly because Germany declared war on us within days of Pearl Harbor, and had U-boats off our shores.

      • straffinrun

        I absolutely would not hit that button. You don’t get to nuke an entire neighborhood because the mafia is there shaking down the shopkeepers.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’d like to see what the ME looks like where we have cheap, plentiful nuclear power in tbe west, our only military interaction with them is the occasional carrier group jaunt through the suez, and a big fat goose egg on the foreign aid checks we send them.

        I’m guessing most of the issues go away.

      • cyto

        This is the sort of war you only have one of. Once they understand that losing war with you means losing everything, potential enemies suddenly get a bit more reticent to rattle that saber.

  24. Yusef in Space......

    The thing is, as ugly as it sounds, I need to think about my mental/physical health, this is fucking me up, and I’m no good without being my Badass self, tough,

    • Spudalicious

      Tell me about it. Go be with Wendy.

      /Paypal

      • Yusef in Space......

        /Bows Deeply…..

    • mindyourbusiness

      Bob, with what’s happened to you and Wendy how could you be anything but upside down? But right now Wendy needs you more than anything else. As Straff said above, be there for her. She needs all the love and encouragement you can give her. meantime, know that we’re all rooting for the both of you.

    • Yusef in Space......

      it’s not Demi….
      it is a joke, ooooh, Twitter!

  25. Timeloose

    Adahn,
    I received a bottle of 77 rye whiskey Bottled in Bond. It was a Christmas present from my good friend. I don’t know much about the brand. It’s one of those Brooklyn new distillery’s that the hip kids have been putting up.

    One I can recommend is Dads Hat Pennsylvania whiskey and their Rye. Both were quite good.

    • Not Adahn

      I think I may have seen it. I’ve put an arbitrary limit of $40/bottle and I think it was over that, but I’m also almost out of options and will need to increase the limit if I want to fill out a fourth round.

      But goddamn it, I’m not paying $75 for a bottle of fucking rye!

      • Timeloose

        I have no idea what the 77 costs. It’s not available here. The dads hat is around 40-45$.

  26. DenverJ

    So, what you’re saying is that you people can’t even drink without being nerds.

    • Tundra

      *drops gloves – reconsiders – puts gloves back on*

      It’s a fair cop.

      • DenverJ

        Sweet new avatar

      • straffinrun

        Now we know why he drops his gloves so often.

    • slumbrew

      We prefer “cocktail enthusiasts”

      • MikeS

        “cocktail enthusiasts” = “monster who can’t appreciate whiskey for what it is”

      • R C Dean

        Hey now!

      • MikeS

        Negroni, please.

      • slumbrew

        Still a top-10 handle for me.

        Also, Negroni are delicious.

      • Rhywun

        I’m drinking one now. ?

      • MikeS

        #metoo on both counts.

        I actually love a good Manhattan or Old Fashioned (or Negroni), I’m just too lazy to make my own and have settled in to drinking it straight with a dash of water.

      • slumbrew

        Negroni variants are also great.

      • Rhywun

        Negroni variants are also great.

        Interesting – I have a big bottle of Jäger I need to get rid of.

    • Yusef in Space......

      I helped a handicapped guy get the last 2 Steel Reserve Shit beers at Walmart today, you do what you gotta do,

      • DenverJ

        Being handicapped makes it much more difficult to buy more expensive booze. It’s almost like a handicap, or something.

    • westernsloper

      lol

    • straffinrun

      Do you still use the words “Jock” and “groddy”?

      • Spudalicious

        That’s “Grody”, Gaijin.

      • DenverJ

        Fairly sure that, not only have I never used the word “groddy”, I’ve never even heard it befo… oh shit “groddy”! Wow. That’s so old. I’d forgotten that word ever existed. Wow. Thanks for making me feel really, really old.

      • straffinrun

        It’s so old that Biden has even learned it yet.

      • DenverJ

        What kinda malarkey is that? Get the hell off my lawn.

      • PudPaisley

        I put all people into one of two groups – “greasers” or “socs”.

        I’m cool like that. In fact, unnamed sources familiar with me have been known to say that I’m cooler than the Fonz.

      • Tundra

        Can confirm.

      • straffinrun

        Nothing gold can stay, Pud.

    • straffinrun

      And now the two sides get to flip positions again. Globalist murderer becomes pinko commie again.

    • leon

      I fucking hate everyone. Fucking hate them all.

      All the people who have been dying for a war and now going apeshit that “Trump has started a new war, omg he’s the worst”.

      Trump for being the biggest pussy about the whole thing. Fuck Iraq, we should have rigged the whole embasy to explode and gotten our guys out of there.

      • leon

        And by Pussy i mean he’s too much of a bitch to stand up to his generals who refuse to comply and undermine his stated goals of ending the wars.

      • Bob Boberson

        I’m with you Leon. I’m gonna need to take a few days off of news after this one because I won’t be able to stand watching the Prog who were clamoring for war with Russia go “Ermagerd, Trump is a Warmonger!!!” Just As I won’t be able to watch the MAGA retards thump their chest, wave flags and start taking about how we need to regime change Iran.

        I have learned the lessons of (very recent) history but unfortunately my countrymen are retards.

      • straffinrun

        You gotta admit that making the people who loved the Libyan adventure oppose this action is trolling at it’s finest. Too bad the other side went back smoothly to “Murrricka!”

      • Not Adahn

        I’m not disagreeing with you.

        But…

        Contrast “Iranians attack US Embassy” Carter v. Trump.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They went after two embassies under Reagan, as well.

      • cyto

        Yeah…. that one would have gotten the old “you have 2 weeks” announcement from my administration. You have 2 weeks to return our people, unharmed. After 2 weeks, your lives are forfeit.

        After 2 weeks pass and they don’t return your people you issue the second 2 weeks warning. “Your leaders lives are forfeit. You, the people, have 2 weeks to change your leadership and return our people. After that, everything within the borders of your country is forfeit. If we are forced to take military action, we will accept nothing less than unconditional surrender. You will no longer exist as an independent country. Your possessions will no longer be yours. Anything we let you keep will be at our largess. If you survive the attack, you may or may not be allowed to stay on this land. It will be entirely at our discretion. You have two weeks to depose your leadership and avoid this fate. There will be no further warnings.”

        You might have to follow through with that sort of warning once. But only once.

        You just have to be sure that you only use it when you are absolutely prepared to go to total war.

      • Not Adahn

        My crackpot theory is that the Iranian hostage crisis cemented the post-Vietnam view of the US as paper tiger. That if Carter had declared the hostages dead and leveled Tehran, the idea the the US would back down if you could just get the right pictures on the evening news wouldn’t have taken hold, and the tactic would have died. And most terrorist attacks would not have been launched as they would have been thought of as futile.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think part of the problem is the idea over the past ~150 or more years that you can have limited war in a civilized manner with Marquess of Queensbury like rules.

      • mikey

        Yep. Problem is no one ever has to surrender any more, so it’s never over. Some “peaceKeeper” steps in and the likely loser gets to cut a deal. So term maybe some lives are saved. Long tern probably not.

      • leon

        You mean the period of time including:

        – Trench Warfare, Chemical Warfare, Strategic Bombing, and the Deployment of 2 Atomic weapons against civilians.

        And if you extended it 10 years you’d get Sherman’s march to the sea and the destruction of the South.

        I’d argue that there is a lot of evidence that war got far more brutal from 1860’s to 1945 and then kinda backed off in the last 50 years.

      • Mojeaux

        kinda backed off in the last 50 years

        Ever delicately skirting around that whole nuclear weapon business.

        “We did it. We know what happens now. We kinda really don’t like it. So NOW how do we conduct a war?”

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        Sherman’s march to the sea

        It’s an open question whether Sherman’s march reduced casualties military and civilian. I must say as a Southerner that I’m not entirely enraged by his conduct, but I’m a numbers guy.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The march to the sea was a gentlemanly campaign by historical measure.

        The folly of WWI (which led to WWII) was the belief that there could be a civilized war. Except for the Belgians and the soldiers being churned in the meat grinder, it was rather limited. The Germans were able to sue for peace and were left largely intact albeit with a hefty bill. But they were not subjugated and their treasures looted.

      • Bob Boberson

        So if I’m reading that right, you are willing to go total war (i.e. dead babies, slaughtering innocents, destroying an entire generation of a populace) over an embassy being attacked? In what fucking world is that just or in any way proportional??

      • CPRM

        I think it’s more about how the war has been conducted, than how it should be from here on out. I’m guessing Gustave means the original war should have been a war of attrition rather than occupation. You run those two wars in a completely separate way.

      • Bob Boberson

        I was replying to Cyto:

        “You, the people, have 2 weeks to change your leadership and return our people. After that, everything within the borders of your country is forfeit. If we are forced to take military action, we will accept nothing less than unconditional surrender. You will no longer exist as an independent country. Your possessions will no longer be yours. Anything we let you keep will be at our largess. If you survive the attack, you may or may not be allowed to stay on this land”

        There is no justification for holding an entire unarmed civilian population collectively responsible for the actions of their government. By that same logic we should have just stuck the entire German population in their own concentration camps and killed them down to the last man, woman and child.

        Sorry Cyto but collectively punishing people just because is the shit statists do. I’m throwing a libertarian red card.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The laser pointer still works.

      • straffinrun

        Isn’t that where they were tearing down the Saddam statue just a few years ago?

      • Not Adahn

        Maybe they like celebrating deaths?

      • straffinrun

        They wouldn’t be alone.

      • straffinrun

        Yeah. Firdos Square. They all look the same to me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        17 years ago. I remember watching it live on tv. And I’d say it was just a couple years ago too. Where did it all go?

    • cyto

      Flipping back and forth between CNN and Al Jazeera. Al Jazeera is running coverage of the celebrations in Baghdad. So the propaganda arm of the UAE is more balanced and favorable to the US in their coverage of US actions in the middle east than the US media? That’s nuts.

  27. Mojeaux

    @JATNAS, check your email.

    • leon

      Legit LOL

      • slumbrew

        Same same.

    • Not Adahn

      I remember people discussing “meme” as a theoretical concept back in the early 1990s. But to witness it harnessed as a new technology is something else.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Arkancide is real, yo.

  28. straffinrun

    Trump should blame his attack on a YouTube video.

    • leon

      I saw some headlines on CNN saying, “The embassy attack is Trumps Benghazi”. You know, except the ambassador didn’t get murdered while he was out campaigning for re-election.

      • R C Dean

        I believe he was actually fundraising.

        In Las Vegas.

      • commodious spittoon

        Which is… confusing. Are they saying that Benghazi was in fact a big deal, and Obama’s reaction to it was damning?

        Or are they suggesting that Trump will be unfairly maligned by partisans for his perfectly sensible response to the Baghdad embassy attack?

  29. mikey

    This past year we got a GE gas range with two ovens love it. It has no downsides compared to the last two electrics we had. I love it.
    It was near to the top of their line so it came with fucking bluetooth! Wow I can control the oven from my phone while I’m in the kitchen. Big whoop. Uniinstalled the app.

    • Mojeaux

      GREEN, I tell you. I am absolutely GREEN.

    • slumbrew

      which model? I’m assuming you’re talking “two ovens in one unit”? I’ve been eyeing one. Not sure if I want two equal ovens or one big, one small.

      • RAHeinlein

        One big, one small.

      • mikey

        Their “Cafe” series – niceand pretentious. One big (normal or convection) and one small oven.
        Two magic oven features.
        Baked goods stetting. Perfec, golden brown baked stuff.
        Frozen stuff setting. Perfect frozen pizza and onion rings

  30. slumbrew

    I am enjoying the new season of The Expanse.

    Amos getting his fuck on was unexpected – the move from SyFy to Amazon had it go from PG to R.

    They’re doing a good job of adapting the books.

    I always pictured Amos as black because “Amos” and “Baltimore”, but the actor they cast really has the cheerful sociopath thing down pat.

    • Rhywun

      He might be my favorite on the show. Creepy AF but sweet and probably the most “human” person there. Plus the actor nails it.

      I haven’t read the books.

      Dear Amazon, please release this on real media and TAKE MY MONEY!

      • slumbrew

        The authors did a cool thing with their novellas – they fill out the backstory of the various characters.

        Totally optional, but well done; the only one I’ve read (so far) is The Churn, which is about Amos, and it’s great.

        It stands on its own, so you needn’t read the main series to enjoy the novella.

      • Rhywun

        their novellas

        Neat, I didn’t know about those.

        So do you recommend the novels?

      • slumbrew

        Yes, they’re very well done – they try to keep the hand-waving to a minimum and try to build a realistic “we’re off the planet but don’t have FTL travel” world.

        The first 3 are aces; they bog down, slightly, later, but are still worthwhile. I believe they play to be done with the next book (for a total of 9).

      • Rhywun

        total of 9

        ?

        No idea there were so many.

    • leon

      Yup. It’s like he’s been listening to Scott Horton.

      • leon

        And then he goes off on drugs and immigration….

      • straffinrun

        Yeah, I should’ve said “mostly” right. Still, I’d take the position over the Trumpian version.

      • leon

        Yup, i was mostly putting that there in light of the Scott Horton comment.

      • leon

        And how’d they get David Bowie to do an interview?

  31. CPRM

    Gas stoves stink, literally.

    • Mojeaux

      You say that like it’s a bad stink.

    • slumbrew

      only if something is terribly wrong with your stove or your gas supply

      • CPRM

        Then something is wrong with every house I’ve been in while they were using a gas stove. Or, you’re nose-blind like a cat owner.

      • slumbrew

        Or, perhaps, you’re more sensitive than most.

      • CPRM

        Yes, I am a special and unique snowflake, my kindergarten teacher told me so; while she put my special helmet on one morning.

      • slumbrew

        Aren’t we all.

      • Not Adahn

        You’re not wrong.

        There is often an initial release of gas+odorant before the igniter can catch the burner.

  32. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    Day 2 of the Year of Enjoyment™ ended with a bang. It’s my first day shooting at the range with the goal being to actually learn to shoot, not just to fuck around once and not return for months/years. Goal is to make every thursday range day.

    Results

    • Mojeaux

      Nice!

    • leon

      Day 2 of the Year of Enjoyment™ ended with a bang.

      GET A ROOM!

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      Bang: 7 – 2

      almost messed that up: tried to give it to them

  33. Mojeaux

    Last night I was reorganizing some of my computer files and that’s a tedious process that is also rather soothing. While I was doing that, I was listening to Jordan Peterson. I could listen to that man forever. That is not in a swoony way or anything. His voice is pleasing and I like what he says and he is interesting to listen to.

    • CPRM

      Glad you can enjoy it. To me I hear banal center left claptrap delivered in very boring tone. If he’s far right, the overton window has gone too far to be saved.

      Wow, I’m such a downer contrarian tonight. I don’t know where that’s coming from. Maybe I just need some uplifting music.

      • Rhywun

        Tonight?

        😛

      • MikeS

        Right?!

      • CPRM
      • MikeS

        Was that a compliment?

      • CPRM

        I’m just trying not to burn any bridges.

      • MikeS

        For such a good movie, the soundtrack sure does suck.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Always with the negative waves MikeS.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m not listening to political topics. I’m listening to topics of human nature and existential questions. Right now, I’m listening to “Tragedy vs Evil.”

      • Akira

        He is quite an interesting guy. I believe that I genuinely improved my life after reading his book 12 Rules For Life.

        When he does verge into politics, I do find it rather banal. But what’s far more interesting than his political ideas is the response to them. It’s very illuminating how far the Left has gone to badmouth, blacklist, and censor the guy. I wonder what he says that makes them so fucking angry, because he’s certainly not a libertarian or far-right kind of dude.

      • Mojeaux

        No, but he is VERY anti-Marxist and anti-Communist.

        I’ve been listening to his college lectures (can’t remember the name right now), and he is very internally consistent. Hiwever, I do not get the feeling he’s any flavor of lefty. It could be I’m not listening to the stuff where he’s espousing lefty things.

      • Rhywun

        Isn’t he the guy who refused to go along with the pronoun silliness? That’s when I first heard of him – with a video of him surrounded by screaming children calling him a Nazi or some ridiculousness.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, and the more screamy the left gets, the farther he moves right. Or else the window has shifted that far left that he sounds right.

      • Gender Traitor

        Nice tune! Thanks!

  34. MikeS

    I just want to put my vote in for “more rye, less appliances.”

    This (the whiskey part) is a great series. Loving it!

      • MikeS

        Mark me down as *intrigued*

        …and *thirsty*

  35. PudPaisley

    My favorite new band of 2019 refers to their music as psychedelic soul. Whatever that is, I like it. Based on the number of plays they’ve gotten in the last few months, I’m not the only one.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G383538qzQ

  36. slumbrew

    Incidentally, I am drinking Sazerac right now – great bang for the buck.

    • MikeS

      Put me in the “no thanks” column with Sazerac. For the same money (or less) Rittenhouse crushes it.

      But hey, there’s no accounting for taste. It seems there are two camps of rye drinkers; pro- and anti-Sazerac.

      • Not Adahn

        I’m in the “perfectly fine, at the top of no lists” camp. So I guess that means pro-

  37. cyto

    I wish someone had set up a tracker for all of the people rushing around to delete their tweets about how Trump makes us look weak by not retaliating against Iran.

    • Playa Manhattan

      “Conservative” blogger Jennifer Rubin.

      • CPRM

        Can we talk about Mike Pompeo? We need to have a National Conversation. Ex-CIA running state, I never feel good when his name is brought up.

      • Playa Manhattan

        The State Department is pretty much the CIA.

  38. CPRM

    Had lunch at Red Robin today, usually out my price range, but I wasn’t paying. Now, I’m a fat fuck, and I’ve always been a fat fuck; but I’ve only ever taken them up on the bottomless steak fries once (The next round arrived after I was done eating) and I’m always full for the whole day after eating there (even if I skip breakfast). So who are these people (besides teenagers who can eat all day long but are priced out of Red Robin) that they are catering to with that?

    • Playa Manhattan

      Anyone who can’t eat X dollars worth of potatoes.

  39. leon

    What’s wrong with people?

    At the Gym. Girl has racked up her weights at the Smith Machine, and then just walks away to another machine and starts switching between the two. Now i didn’t care cause im not using the equipment, and really at 9:00 it doesn’t matter much cause the gym is empty. But really, why would you need to do that?

    • Playa Manhattan

      I do it (if nobody else needs to use it). If you’re going at 90% or above, you need sufficient recovery time between sets.

      • leon

        I get it in some senses, just to me, I work my sets on one machine/set of equipment and then i move on.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I lift each muscle group until failure at least once a week. It takes a few minutes to reset before I can do it again. May as well do something else while I wait.

      • leon

        That makes sense. Mostly just struck me as odd that she racked up the machine, and then left, without even lifting on it.

    • CPRM

      Rotation? Is she hot? OCD? Is she hot?

      • leon

        Not reallly

    • grrizzly

      Sounds like an interesting way to use the underutilized equipment. I have no idea what the Smith Machine is.

      • PudPaisley

        Maybe she was setting it up for Steve. I hear he likes a good workout to get the blood flowing before his extracurricular activities.

  40. Don Escaped Bloomington

    What is wrong with people !?

    Watching Civil War lecturs on C-SPAN3. If one more person pronounces “cavalry” as “Calvary,” I’m going to crucify a horse.

    • UnCivilServant

      That’s just mean. What did the horse do to you?

      • CPRM

        it was in calvary?

      • Gender Traitor

        UCS – I finally made a more detailed comment about your story about an hour ago. It’s at the bottom of the page there, naturally. I thought it best to comment there rather than here because I’m a firm believer in a place for everything and everything in its place. [Editor’s Note: This is a baldfaced lie.]

        I’m off to bed but will be at my usual post c. 6:30ish tomorrow…errr…later THIS morning. ‘Night, all!

      • UnCivilServant

        I saw it. I acknowledged it.

        Thank you.

    • grrizzly

      Why use the horse-sounding word instead of Golgotha?

      • Rhywun
    • Not Adahn

      *applause*

      Or was that Appaloosa?

    • Mojeaux

      Well, I was eating while I watched the first minute or so. I am now neither eating nor watching.

      ?

      • UnCivilServant

        I hate when that happens.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sorry Mojo. 🙁

      • Mojeaux

        LOL NBD. I am deathly afraid of heights. Except I do like some amusement park rides and a couple of roller coasters. Let’s just say nobody will find me at the top of the Empire State Building because I am not going up there again.

        Shit, the old time pictures of the iron workers sitting on beams eating lunch 50 stories in the air is enough to make me ill.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I have a healthy respect for gravity too. The glass walkways at a height or metal grates make my palms sweat. Other than those, sometimes it’s ok, sometimes it makes want to freeze up.

    • straffinrun

      If Soleimani, who as head of the Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps’ Quds Force was responsible for aiding numerous jihad terror activities worldwide,…

      That’s correct? Worldwide? They are no angels, but that seems like PJ is trying to intentionally mislead people into conflating Shiite and Sunni terror attacks. Lebanon, Iraq and Syria are the main playgrounds for Shiite terror. That isn’t “worldwide”.

      • hayeksplosives

        Let’s just say that there is also quite a bit of non-public intel to the contrary

      • CPRM

        Smarter people and all…

      • straffinrun

        They don’t make it public and, sorry, but I don’t believe them. I’m not so naive to believe Iran isn’t doing some nasty shit, but I’m pretty sure it’s mostly limited to Western Asia/middle east.

      • hayeksplosives

        Okay…

        I’ll show myself out.

      • straffinrun

        Not trying to shove anyone out of the conversation. Needs to be had. I’ve got an extremely high distrust of government. Whether that’s good or bad, time will tell.

      • hayeksplosives

        Oh, i didn’t feel pushed out.

        I just literally can’t say any more.

      • straffinrun

        Alright. Can’t argue with that.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s a stupid escalation to a low intensity war we shouldn’t be in.

      • Not Adahn

        Stupid escalations are kind of our thing tho.

      • UnCivilServant

        “This should have been handled at Tier 1.”

      • R C Dean

        Eh, dude orchestrates attacks on our embassies and our soldiers who aren’t in his country. This is a pour encourager les autres thing. Shouldn’t get away with that forever. Should have been in the ground a long time ago.

    • Ted S.

      A brief skim doesn’t say that the Chefs’ big weakness is at head coach.

    • UnCivilServant

      Car parts found in water, unclear if the parts connected to this incident

      “We get a lot of cars in the water around here. They migrate from as far away as Vancouver.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Well damn, RIP.

    • Gender Traitor

      Best SUV commercial. Ever.

      But does Nielsen track the “suicidal” demographic so you get the most from your advertising dollar?

      That video is just…wow. I hope they locate that car.

      • Sean

        I saw your comments about me doing some AM links…Truth is, I’m just not that motivated. Plus I’d be annoyed with myself if I linked to something already posted in a previous thread. I’ll keep it the the back of my brain, but I don’t expect it to get very far.

    • Sean

      I don’t think I thanked you for linking the Gwendoline movie….I haven’t watched it yet, but I will. Thanks!

    • Festus

      That was mighty White of ya! And I oop!

  41. Festus

    Good thoughts going out to Wendy and Bob. Makes my struggles seem insignificant, comparatively.

    • Gender Traitor

      What you said. I only just saw his comments above.

      • Festus

        You are good people, GT!

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, she is multiple individuals posting under one handle?

      • Gender Traitor

        Moldy oldie joke: “I may be schizophrenic, but I’ll always have each other.”

      • Festus

        Ha!

      • JD is Unemployed

        And one of them is a man, hence the name?

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks, Festus! As far as I can tell, I’m just…me, but I’m glad if I make a favorable impression.

      • Gender Traitor

        I was remiss not to point out that there’s a whole bunch of good people here. They’re a (sorely needed) good influence on me.

      • Festus

        Awww… *licks pebble*

    • JD is Unemployed

      A total stranger reporting in to say best wishes for your missus, and yourself, Yusef.

      • Festus

        Well, not total strangers. There’s this site and that one time at band camp…

      • JD is Unemployed

        We agreed to never again speak of that, but since the cat is out of the bag now, I may as well let you know that the cost of properly cleaning out and refurbishing the tuba came to $many so it was hit with a pressure washer and pawned for $30, and a new one purchased from the subsequent year’s donations.

      • Festus

        ^^^

  42. Gender Traitor

    I’m off to take on the day. Best wishes to you all, gentlemen!

      • Festus

        Iranian state media. The near kiss on the lips adds a little piquant to the recipe.

      • UnCivilServant

        twitter is more than a little nonfunctional here. if there’s anything more than a still image there, I don’t see it.

      • Festus

        They’re acting like 1980 hipsters did when John Lennon died. It’s farcical.