Friday Afternoon Furniture Assembly Links

by | Jan 3, 2020 | Daily Links | 458 comments

Apparently, Brett doesn’t understand that one becomes management so one has minions to do the actual work. (Do you even manager, bruh?)

But I needed a break from assembling a new dresser for our guest room. Said room will soon be occupied for an extended stay by one of our dearest European friends. We can’t wait!

Anyway! Let’s see what’s going on out there.

In this case, we actually can see what’s going on in some random places.

This story caused much discussion among TPTB this morning.

Huh. In this podcast we learn that Yiddish speakers were “depleted” in the mid-20th century.

This is Pantone’s Color of the Year for 2020.

Well, how about this. Did you know if you publicly slam your employer, they may decide they don’t need your services any longer?

Speaking of employers, they can do this if they want to. It’s just silly.

 

 

One of my favorite songs about furniture, covered by two of my favorite singers.

 

Have a great evening, kids, and an even better weekend!

 

 

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

458 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “Doctors mumble, stutter, chew, shit, pee, drive, and fuck while they’re dictating.”

    Can I get a transcription of the last one?

    • Not Adahn

      The dictating?

    • Mojeaux

      Didn’t happen to me. Happened to a friend of mine, though. He was in the car driving and getting a hummer.

      • Count Potato

        I never got the point of that. The steering wheel is in the way, and you need to drive.

      • Drake

        Doesn’t work in modern cars. An old pick-up with a flat front seat…

      • DrOtto

        Bench seat in the Roadmonster pictures in my avatar works good for it.

      • Old Man With Candy

        “A friend.” Right.

  2. robc

    avatar test.

      • robc

        I missed it, but hadnt taken the time to reload it.

  3. Count Potato

    “In one such recent privacy mishap, smart IP cameras manufactured by Chinese smartphone maker Xiaomi found mistakenly sharing surveillance footage of Xiaomi users with other random users without any permission.”

    I mean if you can’t trust IP with a Chinese company…

    • Count Potato

      “In a statement provided to Android Police, Google said it is aware of the issue and is in contact with Xiaomi to fix the problem, however, Xiaomi hasn’t yet responded.”

      Android Police? Haven’t these people seen Robocop?

  4. Yusef in Space......

    I like Smoking, Fuck off Slaver!

    • Count Potato

      It would apply to vaping too.

      How did things work out?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I quit fifteen years ago but I still have one nicotine lozenge per day because I still want a cig if I don’t have one. I’m afraid it looks like no U-Haul career for me.

  5. Not Adahn

    Pie is coming to Arizona?

    • Swiss Servator

      No, a different Euro. I have met said Euro. Wonderful human. You know, for a Euro.

      • robc

        Isn’t Pie our only Euro?

      • UnCivilServant

        Brexit isn’t finished to JD is still in the EU.

      • Not Adahn

        Nah, there’s that unemployed guy.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Technically I am “in” Europe, geographically speaking, although I’m not sure that’s really been true since the last Ice Age.

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        I’m “on” Minnesoda

        a piece that washed down 40k years ago

        pass the lutefisk, eh buddy ?

      • JD is Unemployed

        Fishy, salty, gelatinous gloop. Mmmmmmmm.

      • Pope Jimbo

        *mantles over plate of lutefisk*

        Get your own!

      • C. Anacreon

        Does Groovus still count as one of us?

        Sure would be nice to have him check in once in a while.

      • slumbrew

        Seconded.

      • DEG

        Thirded.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, he was planning a trip to the states, and we were talking about a meetup via email, then . . . poof.

    • SP

      Sadly, no.

  6. robc

    0000FF?

    • UnCivilServant

      I see you’re feeling blue.

      • robc

        The color of the year is “classic blue”, and I can’t imagine any more classic than that.

      • UnCivilServant

        The site didn’t load properly, so I didn’t expend any effort in figuring out what they were saying.

      • Yusef in Space......

        I googled the color

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      247-127-0 ?

      • robc

        Boise St’s record since moving to FBS?

      • Not Adahn

        867-5309?

      • Private Chipperbot
      • robc

        The only good thing from Chicago.

      • chipping pioneer

        Also, deep dish pizza.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Italian Beef is much better than pizza casserole.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Which is apparently someone’s new theme song.

        Not as catchy as ‘b all that u can b’?

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        I looked at the link but got pulled into a Skunk Baxter vortex and slung through some Rundgren. I’m a little sick or I’d definitely start drinking and kill the rest of the day on the fretboard.

        We hear you’re leaving, that’s okay
        I thought our little wild time had just begun
        I guess you kind of scared yourself, you turn and run
        But if you have a change of heart

        First time I heard that chord progression, I found out what my special purpose was for.

      • Tres Cool

        I knew it before I clicked.

        + Steve Martin

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        hey there: didn’t know you were around

        Skunk comments here are pretty much chum for Tres: I started to hear tuba before I finished typing.

      • Tres Cool

        I will confess to having played the tuba in high school.

      • Tres Cool
      • C. Anacreon

        The song also contains one of my all-time favorite lyrics:

        When I’m near you, girl, I get an extension

        And I don’t mean Alexander Graham Bell’s invention

        Nick Lowe is so awesome.

    • Rhywun

      No idea. You probably have to send some $$ to Pantone to find out.

      • slumbrew

        I noticed the new “sporty” handicapped symbol the other day. Was anyone bothered by the last one?

      • Rhywun

        It looks like he’s falling out of the chair to me.

      • C. Anacreon

        As someone who is handicapped and uses a handicap placard in my car, I don’t think that symbol sends the right message.

        Is it implying we disabled are actually all super athletes and can race wheelchairs?

        Well then perhaps we don’t need to park close to the entrance.

        There’s a reason those spaces’ size and location make a difference for people like me, and it ain’t because we’re in training for the Paralympics.

      • Jarflax

        Handicapable! Because acknowledging that someone else can do something you can’t is somehow the ultimate evil in the modern world.

      • Ted S.

        I figure one of Andy’s buddies runs a company that gets paid to paint/design the new logo.

      • robc

        So not classic. To me, nothing is more classic than pure blue.

      • Rhywun

        Enh, I’ll allow it. They make up their own names AFAIK. It really should be Classic Blue™.

  7. UnCivilServant

    (Do you even manager, bruh?)

    I keep getting told that when no employees are available, the manager should be able to fill in.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I.e. If you can’t manage your people, you gonna have to do their work.

      • UnCivilServant

        We don’t have enough staff for coverage.

      • Ted S.

        It’s state government. There are too many workers, but they’re all taking part of their 53 weeks a year of PTO.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Whenever talking about government employment, “Worker” should be in air-quotes.

    • Fourscore

      So then the manager becomes the employee but doesn’t need a manager. I learned a long time ago that the smarter I could make (train) the employees the easier it would be for me to get promoted. Sometimes it didn’t always work out that way but by allowing employees to make decisions it made my life easier.

  8. Count Potato

    “The Air Force has still not decided precisely what to do with the aircraft. (F-15C models cost $29.9 million, in 1998 dollars.)”

    But why?

  9. leon

    Speaking of employers, they can do this if they want to. It’s just silly.

    I said it yesterday, but employeers will save a ton if they stop hiring people who drink coffee too…

    • Swiss Servator

      They will lose much productivity, however.

      • Fourscore

        Company bought the coffee, it more than paid for itself.

    • Rhywun

      Or who don’t use the bathroom, or who have a medical condition, or who don’t have children that sometimes require their attention during work hours, or….

      • Rhywun

        (remove both don’ts)

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I think they are called “Robot-Americans”.

      • Not Adahn

        I hear they make excellent dating partners.

  10. Count Potato

    “This is Pantone’s Color of the Year for 2020.”

    The article couldn’t show what it looks like?

  11. Q Continuum

    Have no fear, the noble SJWs being fired from tech companies for trashing their employers will always be able to find employment at Soros funded think tanks.

    • Count Potato

      Did you know Ben Shapiro’s sister has huge boobs?

      • slumbrew

        Go on…

      • slumbrew

        Noice.

      • Q Continuum

        DESTROYED by FACTS and LOGIC

      • JD is Unemployed

        Does she otherwise look like Ben Shapiro?

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        yes: somehow we knew that

      • slumbrew

        who was pining for busty Jewesses the other day?

      • slumbrew

        I mean, besides me.

      • DEG

        Me

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ve never heard of a Jewish girl with big boobs.

      • slumbrew

        ¿Que? It’s a reasonably-common feature. All that Eastern European stock.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Adjust your sarcometer.

      • Count Potato

        Wait, she’s Jewish?

      • Drake

        Are her boobs really big, or is the rest of her just miniture – like Ben?

  12. Not Adahn

    Does the BBC not delete their tweets as a matter of policy, or are they just unashamed?

    • UnCivilServant

      The BBC knows no shame, and had to be told things like ‘a “No Whites” job advert is illegal.’ Whatever litters their twits brings them no shame.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Shame is kind of irrelevant when there’s no possibility of being held accountable in any meaningful way.

    • Sensei

      The responses are quit good.

    • DrOtto

      If you’re referring to the tweet in the links, it’s been deleted now.

  13. Yusef in Space......

    Ha! My personal business cards just happen to be,
    Classic Blue
    I had them done 6 years ago….

  14. The Other Kevin

    Happy new year Glibs! I had some time off and as usual I spent it away from electronics. Hope everyone had fun whatever holidays you celebrated.

    • Count Potato

      Happy New Year!

      And Bobby Hull’s Birthday!

  15. Not Adahn

    I’m a big fan of Honourable Blue. Classic blue is less interesting.

    • The Other Kevin

      I always called it Colonial blue.

    • Yusef in Space......

      I think it shows confidence, that’s why I use it for my cards,

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Looks good on you!

      • Mojeaux

        Aw, thanks, Hobbit!

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Love that whole album. I wanted to name daughter 3 “Aja”.

      • Mojeaux

        That would have been epic.

        There is just something about Steely Dan that is magical.

      • slumbrew

        Blackjack may have thoughts concerning that name

    • slumbrew

      My house is Luxe Blue – dunno what the Pantone number for that would be.

    • JD is Unemployed

      I like the blue of my blue king size sharpies.

  16. The Other Kevin

    Good luck U-Haul. I’ve recently had several conversations with people saying it’s damn near impossible to hire someone who can even pass a drug test lately.

    • Not Adahn

      I’ve had to take a drug test for every job I’ve ever had.

      Except when I lived in Austin.

      • Fourscore

        Maybe that’s why Fourscore Junior lives in Austin…Hmmm

      • Nephilium

        Most entertaining to me was when I was a teen and got hired part time at one of those kiddie play areas. They said there was going to be a drug test (which I was mildly worried about), it was going to be a hair test (and I had long hair at the time). The manager pulled my hairs out, looked at me, and tossed them in the trash instead of putting them in the envelope for testing.

    • Sean

      I graciously give new hires notice and an appropriate grace period (if they need it.)

    • Gustave Lytton

      Now do visible tattoos and body mutilations.

    • SP

      I know how to solve that.

      • Q Continuum

        Repeal child labor laws?

  17. Gustave Lytton

    Classic Blue

    *kiff sigh*

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Apple news doesn’t like me or my adblocker.

    Oh, woe. How ever shall I cope?

    • Rhywun

      What do Windows people get with that link? For me it opens the Apple News application. Which I really would prefer not to.

      • Caput Lupinum

        On android it opens to a splash screen that I didn’t have time to read before redirecting to the original popsci webpage, I assume it would do something similar on a windows desktop if your adblock doesn’t mess up the redirect.

      • JD is Unemployed

        On firefox for android in the EU it goes to a loading/redirect screen, then to the article briefly, largely obscured by the ACCEPT COOKIES warning we get here, then just ends up at a blank white page with ‘login’ at the top, nothing else.

        That’s kind of how a lot of the interweb is for a Euro-peon now. If I was at my PC I can at least try using a US proxy.

      • Count Potato

        It just opened in my browser.

      • Rhywun

        Oh I read it already, thanks. It works fine, I just don’t like my browser opening applications on me without asking. Maybe I approved it and don’t remember.

  19. Q Continuum

    RE: Drone striking terrorist of the year.

    A series of semi-related facts/opinions: The guy was murderous scum. I don’t know why we’re still there at all. Why can’t the Iraqis deal with this? There is no good outcome. Jackasses and Pachyderms alike are warmongering, hypocritical pieces of shit. Taxpayers, unholster your KY, drop trou and bend over.

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      goddammit

      * uncorking sound *

      • Rhywun

        TMI, dude.

    • Bob Boberson

      ^this^. Thanks Q.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Iraqis don’t deal with them because half of them support Iran.

      Way past time to GTFO.

      And if I hear one more moron on the radio perpetuating the “Saddam did 9-11” bullshit…

      • Tonio

        Srsly? People are still pushing that?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just heard some schmuck call in on Mark Steyn with “we found evidence that Saddam was involved…”

        Of course, Steyn didn’t call him out because he has a massive war-boner of his own.

    • Q Continuum

      I imagine sex with her would be like fucking a waterbed.

    • C. Anacreon

      I initially read that as Demi-Rose-flaunts-skimpy-crotch-bikini and was tempted to click just to see what a crotch bikini was.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m not sure what one is either, but I have to believe it is far, far better than my granny’s crotchety bikini.

      • Spudalicious

        Would you please pass me the eye bleach?

    • leon

      I don’t think this is going to go off into a greater war.

    • Gustave Lytton

      DeCommieo is backing private citizens being able to defend themselves against sleeper attacks or other criminals?

      /not holding my breath

    • Rhywun

      I’m surprised he had the energy to release 3 tweets in a row.

      • Count Potato

        Then he jerked off in his kale salad, and took a nap.

    • Spudalicious

      1, 15, 18, 26, 28.

    • DEG

      Not a bad collection.

  20. UnCivilServant

    Well, my knife arrived.

    It’s sharp, feels sturdy, looks good.

    • Gustave Lytton

      What’s the point?

      • UnCivilServant

        pointy, with a false edge on the back.

      • Q Continuum

        Cut to the chase already; do you like it?

      • UnCivilServant

        Okay, I’m officially asleep – I missed the pun thread.

        Good night everyone. (i have been up since midnight save an all too short nap)

      • Tonio

        Or a short knap if it’s a flint blade.

      • Fourscore

        All work and no play makes UCS a dull boy

      • The Other Kevin

        He’s very edgy.

      • Not Adahn

        clipped point, IIRC.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Needs work. If you want to get a narrowed gaze you need to hone your pun-ditry

    • R C Dean

      Should be a good knife that serves you well.

  21. The Late P Brooks
    • slumbrew
    • Tres Cool

      Radicchio sounded too ethnic.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sister to Radon

    • Bobarian LMD

      Gender non-specific radish.

      • Tejicano

        LOL – thanx for the pick-me-up

    • Gustave Lytton

      Good for her and good for walling off her private life.

      • C. Anacreon

        With her still-incredible looks I’m not quite sure why she chose a husband that looks like that guy, when she could have had me just by asking.

      • Drake

        I never thought she was even a little attractive.

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      whatever xhe wants

    • Rhywun

      How mathematical.

      • slumbrew

        My first thought as well.

      • Tres Cool

        Do you suppose Cameron plotted that ?

      • Rhywun

        What a basic bitch.

    • Jarflax

      Her daughter is base.

  22. Gustave Lytton

    Picked up cough syrup today and the new bottle has twice the dose of the last. Did I take too much now? Old bottle is at home so can’t compare the actual ingredient amounts.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      +1 Purple Drank

      • Tres Cool

        …great minds

        (note to self to refresh more)

      • Q Continuum

        This is getting a little too meta.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Do you see the blue in the linked article above? Is there a lot of Codeine?

      • Gustave Lytton

        No codeine, but the checkout had an age verification for it. Can’t let those 20 year cough sufferers get ahold of this stuff.

      • pistoffnick

        I had a 40 year old electrical engineer confess to me that, the reason he was fucking up my project so much, was because he was addicted to cough syrup.

        I wasn’t his manager. He was still employed when I left.

    • Tres Cool

      +1 purple drank

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Great minds….

      • Tres Cool

        GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

        /pours glass of sizzurp

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I would get out of you let me.

        Please…

      • Q Continuum

        Cultured degenerates call it by its proper title: “lean”.

      • Tres Cool

        sippin’ on some sizzurp

        * “urban” lyrics may not be SFW

    • Sensei

      Be careful if has Acetaminophen.

      You can pickle your liver with cumulative toxicity.

      • Gustave Lytton

        None in there, but I’m probably screwed anyways. Grew up on Tylenol.

      • Mojeaux

        *raises hand*

        I’mma doing my best. Can’t go to sleep without Tylenol PM. Can’t stay awake without caffeine.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    I thought it was the F35 that suffocated its pilots. Popsci linky no worky, too.

    • Sensei

      G induced loss of consciousness.

  24. Q Continuum

    Your derp meter running on E? No worries! Teen Vogue has you covered!

    https://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-sexual-consent-really-looks-like-in-college

    “We often think of consensual sex as the opposite of assault.”

    Ummm… duh?

    “But sometimes people say yes because they are coerced.”

    Coercion != consensual.

    “There is an awful lot of consensual sex happening that is, as students say, “kind of rape-y,” or hurtful, or not very enjoyable for one person, or sometimes even for both.”

    “Kind of rape-y” != rape. Rape either is or isn’t. And show me someone who didn’t have a regrettable, hurtful or just plain bad sexual experience at some point. That is not rape either.

    “Some students do practice affirmative consent,”

    Or at least they would if they could ever get someone to have sex with them.

    “but many others use a range of social cues to make sense of whether or not a sexual encounter was consensual or nonconsensual.”

    Again… DUH!

    There’s more if your brain can take it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      ” whether or not a sexual encounter was consensual or nonconsensual”

      Emphasis on “was”.

      I feel like they’re just researching their grievance PhD thesis when soliciting sex.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I thought solicitation was against the law?

    • Rhywun

      I can’t handle the derp.

    • Fatty Bolger

      “There is an awful lot of consensual sex happening that is, as students say, “kind of rape-y,” or hurtful, or not very enjoyable for one person, or sometimes even for both.”

      Consent can be retroactively withdrawn.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        The deposit cannot be.

      • Q Continuum

        Planned Parenthood begs to differ.

      • Bobarian LMD

        But it can be monetized.

    • Mojeaux

      All I have to say is that angry sex is overrated.

      • Q Continuum

        It’s ok if the anger is from some irrelevant tiff. Actual, no shit substantive arguments are anti-Viagra for me.

      • Mojeaux

        Let me rephrase: pseudo makeup sex, but not really because you’re still pissed.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Aren’t relationships complicated enough already?

        #assburgers

      • Bobarian LMD

        Maybe you weren’t angry enough… or too angry?

        Thin line.

    • Gustave Lytton

      not very enjoyable for one person, or sometimes even for both

      Are they rerunning their anal sex tips again?

    • Fourscore

      “Some students do practice affirmative consent,”

      Alone and in the privacy of their own space, with a computer turned up to 11

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’ve NEVER had regrettable sex in my life!

      Unfortunately, all my partners have. So my regrettable average is stuck at 50%.

      • Mojeaux

        LOL

      • Fourscore

        So, hand cramps?

  25. grrizzly

    A widespread assimilation of Jews in the former Russian Empire into the Soviet society must have been a factor in the depletion of Yiddish speakers.

      • C. Anacreon

        Jeopardy winning answer: What is the Jewish Autonomous Oblast, chopped liver?

        Original Jeopardy clue: This version of the German dish Leberpastete is found where Yiddish is a living language.

      • Rhywun

        The winters are to die for!

  26. Q Continuum

    CNTK > Tensorflow.

    Fight me.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Dude, I’m still on MATLAB. What’s all this newfangled shit?

    • leon

      Never worked with CNTK, but tensorflow blew my simple mind.

  27. chipping pioneer

    If the visiting Euro is a Swede, just make xe assemble the dresser while xe is there.

    • SP

      Dresser is not from Ikea. It’s almost actual furniture.

      And friend is from elsewhere anyway.

  28. Aus

    PC gaming:

    For any fans of Fallout 1 & 2, be sure to add “ATOM RPG” to your wishlist. I’m enjoying it so far. Nothing spectacular, but certainly worth $5-10 on sale if you’re into these type of games.

    • Nephilium

      Thanks. I’ve already got it on my wishlist, but it looks interesting. The backlog is already a big list of shame already.

      • Aus

        Haha, same here. Not my fault though! I blame steam sales!

      • Nephilium

        My backlog is big enough that I made it through the Winter sale only picking up two items (the first expansion for Scythe, which I already have in physical form) and Outward. Of course, my Steam library has over 650 games in it…

  29. Gustave Lytton

    Getting pulled over for driving a truck pass the no trucks sign

    https://youtu.be/p0XRmiKQ87I?t=39m40s

    41:12 for the twist. Still gets a verbal warning.

  30. Grumbletarian

    Eleven seconds later, after waking up, the pilot began to recover by putting engines to idle, and pulling back on the control stick. It was the correct course of action, according to the Air Force,

    Depends on the plane, I guess? My father worked on F-16s for most of his USAF career and he says that plane will default to a 2-degree climb if it has no other input from the pilot. The pilot shouldn’t have to anything special upon waking up.

    • Drake

      I noticed that too. Sounds like a really bad procedure if it fucks up your irreplaceable plane. Good luck as transport pilot.

  31. Aus

    Just got my property tax bill, bleh.

    Still pissed off about the 2018 county re-appraisel that caused my annual tax bill to increase from $1900/yr to $2900/yr, the bulk of which goes to the shitty City school district. FUCK THEM KIDS

    • Gustave Lytton

      Our school districts portion of the property tax is approaching what it would cost the per student price for the teacher if paid directly. It’s just money flushed down the drain at this point.

    • Sensei

      NJ resident just laughs.

      • Sean

        “Laughs”

    • LJW

      Damn you’re lucky, mine is in the $4000 range and I don’t live in a mansion.

      • Drake

        Still laughing.

    • Fourscore

      What is the % of tax to assessed value? Mine is 2/3 of a %. I believe the rate is low compared to other states but still high dollars for me.

      • LJW

        1.4% here.

      • slumbrew

        1.009% but the residential exemption knocks it down to 0.322%

    • Florida Man

      $5300. But at least my non existent kids get a free education.

      • Drake

        Almost halfway there…

      • Sean

        Yeah, but think of all the freedoms that buys you…

      • Drake

        Uhh…

    • Not Adahn

      Lol. I got ONE of my tax bills.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Some incoherent nonsense for you

    Michelle Obama shock: Trump warned of stunning victory by ex-FLOTUS ahead of 2020 election

    MICHELLE OBAMA could win the 2020 presidential election in the US, the professor who predicted Donald Trump’s stunning victory in 2016 has warned.

    Sure, why not? We all know how successful write-in campaigns are.

    • Q Continuum

      We all know Hillary’s got it in the bag this time.

      • DrOtto

        I’d love to see Hillary fill Harold Stassens old shoes.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    G induced loss of consciousness.

    Ah. At least the wings didn’t tear off (I assume).

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      I’m NOT clicking that

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Submitted without comment cajones.

    • Mojeaux

      LOL PJM referred to Jazz as “him.” *wild applause*

    • Rhywun

      “There is nothing else after this.”

      So no more interviews or other forms of jumping in front of a camera, right?

  34. Gustave Lytton

    Bee is on fire

    https://babylonbee.com/news/john-bolton-cant-believe-he-quit-just-before-war-with-iran

    https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-call-for-flags-to-be-flown-half-mast-to-grieve-death-of-soleimani

    A teary-eyed Barack Obama was also seen solemnly lowering the flag in front of his seaside mansion. “To think, this all could have been prevented with a few pallets of cash.” He sighed and stared off into the distance, a look of pain and regret on his face. “If only Trump had targeted a U.S. citizen with a drone strike instead.”

    It’s time to fess up. Which Glib writes for the Bee?

    • SP

      I just love them SO MUCH.

    • commodious spittoon

      Redcloak the Unruly
      ‏ @BrewingAle
      Replying to @TheBabylonBee

      I miss the old Babylon Bee. Sure, these hard hitting, real news items are great, but I miss the satire.

      • Rhywun

        *snort*

      • Tejicano

        LO-Effing-L

  35. LJW

    I follow a group that colorizes WWII photos. This photo almost looks like it was taken recently on a movie set. Incredible job by artist that colorized it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That really is good work.

      • Timeloose

        That really looks like my grandfather. It’s really creepy.

    • slumbrew

      Wow, that’s really impressive work.

    • Count Potato

      wow

    • Fourscore

      WOW!

    • Yusef in Space......

      He used textures from Aces High, the video game, looks great,

    • Chipwooder

      Very cool.

      Shorpy has a collection of WWII Kodachromes that are pretty impressive.

    • DEG

      That is cool.

  36. Timeloose

    The Time household is starting the new year with no more mortgage. We made the last payment on 31st. It still is not official till we get the title and deed in my mind.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Do they insert it thru the ear?

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      hear hear

    • Mojeaux

      Congrats!!!!

    • slumbrew

      Congrats!

    • Timeloose

      Thanks, it’s been a long road. We made many xtra payments to get out from under it as soon as possible.

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        Another approach is to buy 10 year bonds and simply pay off the balance when you have it on hand.

        This has the advantage of financial flexibility should anything happen over the long years it takes to retire a mortgage: no “second” is required for some sudden liquidity need if you can cover it with the bonds.

      • Fourscore

        The best financial decision ever. You will be amazed at the personal satisfaction, comfort and how much you’ll have left over. Take that money and put it in a sound investment program, at retirement your life will be much more enjoyable.

        I admire your tenacity and planning. Good job, TL.

      • Florida Man

        Fortunately/unfortunately I have an interest rate too low to make paying my house off early a sound financial decision. At least it’s only a 15 year note and will be paid of well before I retire. Congratulations Timeloose!

      • slumbrew

        Same. I could pay it off, but I’m better off with that money invested (plus there’s value to liquidity).

      • Florida Man

        True. I can sell part of my investments but not part of my house.

      • slumbrew

        I find that the most compelling argument against early pay-off.

        I think “should I pay off my mortgage” has to be top-3 most asked question on Bogleheads, with no firm consensus.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yup.

        Low rates plus high returns and the liquidity issue make investments look pretty desirable. So long as you already have an emergency fund, the risk seems worth it.

        I calculated today that I could pay off my loan in 5 years. . . (22 early) but I’d also likely be leaving money on the table doing so.

      • Nephilium

        Me as well. I was paying extra for a while, then looked at the (locked in) mortgage interest rate, and the average rate of return in the market, and started putting that extra into the market instead.

      • Florida Man

        Yup 3 vs 10+ percent return on investment is an easy choice for me.

      • Timeloose

        Mine was pretty low as well. My loan was shopped around and has changed hand three times. The last company is basically a collection agency. They have been ding everything possible to get us to make late payments. We decided to get out as soon as possible.

      • Florida Man

        Peace of mind also has value.

      • R C Dean

        More or less where I am, except I will need to make a lump sum payment to clear it when I retire. I can’t be retired and have a mortgage. Makes no sense to me.

      • Yusef in Space......

        Enjoy! Congrats!

    • Count Potato

      Congrats!

    • wdalasio

      Congratulations!

    • Shirley Knott

      Awesome!

    • Fourscore

      I say that you can not retire with a house payment. I know, I know but trying to manage a house payment on SS and an IRA is gonna be tough. If you still have to work it ain’t retirement.

    • Aus

      Congrats!

      Last month was also my last mortgage payment! What a coincidence! I’m really proud of myself, making extra payments was a priority for me.

      • Fourscore

        And congrats to you, as well.Ya done good, Aus.

    • DEG

      Excellent.

  37. slumbrew

    I do believe it’s Manhattan o’clock

    • Shirley Knott

      Rye or Bourbon? Or?
      Any preferred bitters?

      • Florida Man

        Lol. I haven’t actually bought any, just riffing on “why choose”.

      • Florida Man

        Update: I just ordered a bottle from TotalWine for $80. Will report back after drinking.

      • Spudalicious

        What is it?

      • Florida Man

        It’s a mixed bourbon and rye from high west.

      • Spudalicious

        Sorry, for some reason, I thought wine. Bourye is good. I liked the Campfire before they jacked the price.

      • slumbrew

        Rye, of course.

        I feel the same way about bourbon in a Manhattan the same way other people feel about vodka in martinis.

        I’ve been using Owl & Whale cherry bitters for a while now – they’re great.

      • Sean

        Vodka martinis are a perfectly suitable adult beverage. *harumph*

      • slumbrew

        They are indeed tasty, but I understand why some folks think that “vodka martini” is an oxymoron – martinis are made with gin, that vodka drink, while tasty, is not a martini.

        (I don’t feel that strongly about it)

      • Florida Man

        I discovered bloody Margaret’s. It’s a Bloody Mary with gin instead of vodka. At least have the decency to invent a new name for “vodka martinis”.

      • slumbrew

        Agreed – come up with a new name.

      • Nephilium

        The Bloody Mary with gin is a Red Snapper. When it comes to martinis, once you leave out the vermouth it can be called what it is… a chilled vodka/gin shot with an olive garnish (onion is a Gibson).

      • Nephilium

        Looks like it’s a UK/USA split on the name with some searching. Post-prohibition, so I won’t take a strong side on it.

      • Florida Man

        It just has a nice alliteration. Bloody Mary, Margaret, Maria. If you offer me a red snapper I think fish.

      • Tres Cool

        ex-girlfriend (OG-1X-OG) was a redhead.

        Snapper had a different connotation.

      • AlmightyJB

        What do you put your cherry bitters in?

      • Pope Jimbo

        What? A brandy Manhattan isn’t an option?

        Uffda, I live too close to the Sconnies and their weird brandy fetish.

      • Fourscore

        I hear tales from the locals about black berry brandy, brandy and water, etc. My brother, the one that had cirrhosis was a dried out brandy drinker. Cirrhosis is not a pleasant way to not live your life.

    • Spudalicious

      Milk & Honey.

    • Drake

      The herpes all over his face may save him.

    • The Hyperbole

      He looks skeevy enough and if he did these things prison justice is warranted, but the rash of ‘repressed memory’ bullshit back in the late ’80s early ’90s makes me a bit skeptical of an eleven year old’s testimony about a 2015 crime.

    • Urthona

      I don’t. if the proper sentence is repeated sodomizing then the government should have to make that the sentence.

      Not have it happen because they are too corrupt and incompetent to run a prison institution.

      • Florida Man

        Agreed. If we are going to have vigilante justice, let’s do away with the police state and save some money.

      • Sean

        It’s been my understanding that kiddie diddlers are roughed up in prison, not so much ass raped. *shrug*

    • Spudalicious

      I don’t think he’ll live more than a week.

  38. Sean

    Fox just reported we blew up two more vehicles tonight in Iraq.

    • Spudalicious

      I said a couple of days ago that Iran needs to watch it’s shit. They apparently didn’t listen. And Trump is pissed he was pushed into this, so he’s going to kick their ass even harder.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s a stupid move in a country that doesn’t want us there that borders a country that really doesn’t want us there but maybe we’ll be able to kill our way to peace and a stable federal Iraqi republic.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        SHUT THE FUCK UP, LIBTARD!

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I agree. We should take the murder of Americans like a man. Maybe even blame a video and send them a bill in cash so they don’t get mad.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        SHUT THE FUCK UP, TRUMPTARD!

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I’m all for libertarian ideals. In this case the NAP was not violated.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I think the issue being discussed was more “a good way for Americans to not get killed is to not be there in the first place.”

        I’m not shedding any tears for Gen. Salami.

      • Spudalicious

        A couple of drone strikes is a little different than Bush sending 100,000 troops into Iraq.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Still throwing good money after bad.

      • Raven Nation

        Good money being relative of course…

      • Spudalicious

        Meh, it’s fiat currency, so…

    • straffinrun

      The US hates the vehicles. Stay away from the vehicles!

      • straffinrun

        You know what other Jerk explains people’s jokes?

      • straffinrun

        That sounded harsh in retrospect. 😉

      • Ted S.

        Steve Martin?

    • Florida Man

      Is that the gay yellow and blue of the year from up thread?

      • Spudalicious

        *golf clap*

      • Mojeaux

        It can be anything you want it to be. But what it IS is powder-coated enamel. *swoon*

      • Mojeaux

        Also, it is a tanker, and I love those.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Yeah, they rock — when I was much younger, the Alberta government was practically giving these things away via their asset disposal arm (usually via auction); I was too intimidated by their weight/size to go buy one. They may not be stylish, but they really should be called “tanks,” not “tankers.”

      • Mojeaux

        If we only had 20/20 foresight. Even unfinished, they’re going for a lot of money.

        The one I have is a model from the 70s and is not collectible (yet). I have seen others now on FB for $5. People just want them hauled away. It makes it easier for me to let it go if I have to when we move, knowing I can easily find another, and I have a truck to haul it.

      • Count Potato

        I had one, grey, but the top was sort of stone veneer.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I remember CNN’s article about Obama sitting on the can playing Candy Crush Saga on his phone when al-Awlaki’s Colorado-born teenage son was vaporized by a Hellfire missile, don’t you?

    • C. Anacreon

      OMG the reply is priceless, though:

      .
      Meanwhile Soleimani was eating Iraqi Road.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Exxxxxxxxxxxxcellent, Smithers!

      • straffinrun

        +1 chunky monkey.

      • Mojeaux

        Chunky Monkey = MojeauxCat #1

    • Fourscore

      Biden was in FL?

  39. Mojeaux

    @HM, I read the conversational analysis articles you linked earlier. I skimmed the legend of transcription marks, then went on to the transcript. I found it oddly intuitive, especially the hh and .hh. I have, in fact, used “Hhhhhhh,” for a sigh in dialogue. The “er:m” was also something I could “hear” intuitively.

    What I am still not clear on is what exactly, it’s used for generally speaking. Is it to evaluate for lies or to indicate facial expressions or for spying purposes or … ? What is its practical application other than linguistics?

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Conversation analysis is a methodology that, usually, is used to examine how chunks of discourse are used to accomplish things in everyday life. One famous study looked at how we answer the telephone and discovered the “rules” of a telephone greeting. You probably never thought about it but there are 4 basic rules to answering the phone
      1.) The person who calls must say “Hello” after the person who answers picks-up.
      2.) The person who answers can choose how to respond based on how he or she identifies/recognizes the caller. This explains why we can answer “Hello?” with “Hello, [person I know]” or “Who’s calling please?”
      3.) Once the interlocutors have identified each other, they exchange greetings
      4.) After the exchange of greetings, the enter the “how are you sequence”

      Does every single telephone greeting follow that exact sequence? No. But these studies are famous because they have a huge sample size and used it to generalize the following routine.

      So what are the practical applications? One is customer service training. Particularly in a multilingual context. Another popular area that applies CA is nursing and medicine for studying and teaching how to conduct useful and informative patient-caregiver interaction. I teach CA because they tell me to, but in my field, it has become a popular framework to understand second language acquisition. What are the spoken discourse structures of learning a language when speaking that language?

      • Mojeaux

        So in second language acquisition/discourse structures, could that be, for instance, learning the rules for how to conduct a negotiation over an item/haggle at a bazaar? (That was the first thing that came to mind.)

      • Rhywun

        You probably never thought about it

        I have, a little, because in Germany you answer the phone with your last name. (Or the last name of the householder.)

      • Mojeaux

        I think about it whenever someone does something wildly different.

        knew someone once who would answer the phone with, “Go” meaning, “Speak.” I found that fascinating and I asked myself, “What type of person would be most likely to use that as a greeting?” I decided an Aspie would, so I made one of my Aspie characters do that.

      • Rhywun

        “What type of person would be most likely to use that as a greeting?”

        Cosmo Kramer?

      • Mojeaux

        Did he? I have seen very few episodes.

      • Rhywun

        A couple times. I think it’s a play on Gordon Gekko-style alpha male-ing.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I’ve heard far too many youngish people say “Go for {insert name here}” when answering their cellphones, particularly if they’re wearing a Bluetooth earwig/headset. Annoying.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        In the Azores (Portuguese) they answer the phone “Diga!” which means “speak” (literally, “say it”).

        I’ve often thought about answering the phone that way (I seldom answer the phone).

      • straffinrun

        They’re going to have to do another study. If I get call from a number I don’t recognize, I answer with, “Who the fuck is this?”

      • Mojeaux

        My husband will answer, “This is Michael,” very tersely.

        I have had to make a conscious effort to change my greeting.

        “Hello?”

        “Hi, is this Mrs. Mojo?”

        “Who is asking, please?”

        Normally I would say yes and THEN say, “Who’s calling?” But because of phone scammers who just want you to say “yes” to have recorded proof you “agreed” to purchase something, I no longer say “yes” or anything that could be taken as affirmative.

      • straffinrun

        That’s a bit more polite. TBH, the real conversation is always the same. “Moshi, moshi” followed by a dozen or so “hai”.

      • Sensei

        The lack of scripted conversations in English compared to Japanese frustrates my friends to no end.

        Oth, learning them all in Japanese is mendokusai.

      • straffinrun

        Uhnn, uhnnn.

      • Sensei

        Sou, sou, Sou…

      • Mojeaux

        The lack of scripted conversations in English compared to Japanese frustrates my friends to no end.

        Just the phone or other social interactions too?

        “Hi, how are you?”

        “Fine, you?”

        “Good, thanks. Hey, are you bringing cookies tomorrow?”

        We have scripts.

      • Jarflax

        Male scripts:

        Hey

        Hey

        How’s it going.

        Meh, wanna grab a beer?

        Sure.

      • Sensei

        “Just the phone or other social interactions too?”

        Other social interactions. For example, we have pre-new year’s greetings and post new year’s greetings for “Happy New Year”.

        And heaven forbid you miss the post-one. I’m not sure when it’s OK not to wish somebody “Happy New Year”, but it seems it might be OK by March… straff may have more experience there…

      • Tejicano

        My step-brother answers his phone with “Marketing”. So it sounds like you’ve dialed into some company somewhere – only if you know him would you expect to hear that and know who you’re talking to.

      • Sensei

        I’ve been known to answer the phone here in the US in Japanese just to screw with the telemarketers.

        I was hoping they would trash my number, but the persistent bastards just keep ordering me to speak English.

        That when I’m annoyed you can’t really curse in Japanese.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      LOL, wut?

    • Rhywun

      Portland Planning and Sustainability Commission

      Oh lord, I couldn’t even make it through the first sentence without an eye-roll.

      • straffinrun

        I made it a little further.

        The PSC yesterday debated the meaning of the word “rest”

    • Rhywun

      “I’m comfortable with leaving the language a little bit more vague,” she said. “Let’s leave it up to interpretation.”

      Holy hell. Your “leaders” at work, Portland.

    • straffinrun

      Don’t know which pisses me off more, the waste of the bullet or the waste of beer.

      • Count Potato

        White Claw, apparently.

      • straffinrun

        Warren’s Injun name?

    • DEG

      The Libertarian party could and has done worse.

      • Count Potato

        I’d take that guy over Bill Weld.

    • Not Adahn

      The people replying are mostly awful.

      • straffinrun

        Dude, I can still hear you.

  40. LCDR_Fish

    So..I’d say rebellermedia.com is worth it if you’re a movie fan. Also…listening to the new podcast “across the movie aisle”…Suderman does not seem very libertarian – particularly in the Richard Jewell discussion.

    • JD is Unemployed

      I’m not entirely sure when Suder-man has seemed libertarian. He straight up said he doesn’t care about the federal spendapalooza, national debt, etc (on one of the Monday podcasts many moons ago). He is very much a man of the Kochistani state media wherein he serves. He sometimes writes an interesting piece or two but he’s not a libertarian. It’s not so much a case of “no true Scotsman” as it is simply “Peter Suderman is not a libertarian”.

      • Yusef in Space......

        We Glibs, herded cats we may be, are far more Libertarian than the Reasonoids could ever hope to be…

      • straffinrun

        Why don’t we test this out?

        Finish the sentence, “I’m so libertarian,…”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Im so libertarian that I dont label myself as libertarian

      • Florida Man

        I’m so libertarian, I have orphan bones ground into my cocaine.

  41. Yusef in Space......

    OK time for an update,
    Wendy went in for heart surgery about 8:30 local time, and so far she seems to be alive, at least. they replaced several valves and did another periicardial drain, she on a ventilator and all that Doctor Bullshit, but what a great hospital, world class care, thank God. I’m going up tommorow to see what the aftermath is, but She lives, and that’s cool,

    • Ownbestenemy

      Damn Yusef…thoughts and prayers from my household. In Vegas area let me know and can hook you up with some home cooked meals or a place to sleep.

      • Yusef in Space......

        I may take you up up on a crash pad for a night, BhC is 2 hours each way,

      • Ownbestenemy

        We are in vegas. Email handle@gmail.com

        Ill make up some story you are an old military buddy to my wife.

      • Yusef in Space......

        Veterans of the Culture Wars…

    • MikeS

      Glad things are as good as they can be. Safe travels tomorrow. Best wishes for Wendy.

    • DEG

      Best wishes for you and Wendy.

    • Jarflax

      I hope things turn out as well as possible. You guys are in my thoughts