Monday Afternoon Links — Am I Even in the Right Place?

by | Jan 27, 2020 | Daily Links | 275 comments

Man, what a long couple of weeks. It was really good to wake up today knowing that I don’t have to leave the county this week. I mean, I CAN leave the county. Its not like the terms of my bail prohibit me, but I’m happy not to. How the heck are each and everyone of you? Let me pull up a chair and you can tell me all the things I’ve missed in the last week or so. Ready… go!

It appears that a USAF plane has gone down over Afghanistan. Multiple sides (Murphy, Operator, Taliban) are claiming/being given credit for the crash.

I feel like you should really know better at 60.

Meet the Latina hoping to lose to Ted Cruz like Beto did! Err, maybe I misread the piece and inferred some things. She’s probably HOPING to win, but expecting to lose.

Better let the FBI run an investigation and declare Ms. Omar innocent before she runs for Senate. Am I too cynical?

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

275 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “It appears that a USAF plane has gone down over Afghanistan. Multiple sides (Murphy, Operator, Taliban) are claiming/being given credit for the crash.”

    Yikes!

    • Count Potato

      “A U.S. Bombardier E-11A crashed today in Ghazni province, Afghanistan. While the cause of crash is under investigation, there are no indications the crash was caused by enemy fire. We will provide additional information as it becomes available.”

      https://twitter.com/USFOR_A/status/1221854389805158400

      • UnCivilServant

        Why did we buy Bombardier?

      • kinnath

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlefield_Airborne_Communications_Node

        The Battlefield Airborne Communications Node (BACN) is a United States Air Force (USAF) airborne communications relay and gateway system carried by the unmanned EQ-4B and the manned Bombardier E-11A aircraft. BACN enables real-time information flow across the battlespace between similar and dissimilar tactical data link and voice systems through relay, bridging, and data translation in line-of-sight and beyond-line-of-sight situations.[1] Its ability to translate between dissimilar communications systems allows them to interoperate without modification.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombardier_Global_Express

        The Bombardier Global Express is a large cabin, 6,000 nmi / 11,100 km range business jet designed and manufactured by Bombardier Aviation (formerly Bombardier Aerospace). Announced in October 1991, it first flew on 13 October 1996, received its Canadian type certification on 31 July 1998 and entered service in July 1999. Initially powered by two BMW/Rolls-Royce BR710s, it shares its fuselage cross section with the Canadair Regional Jet and Challenger 600 with a new wing and tail. The shorter range Global 5000 is slightly smaller and the Global 6000 is updated and has been modified for military missions. The longer range Global 5500/6500 are powered by new Rolls-Royce Pearl engines with lower fuel burn and were unveiled in May 2018. The larger and stretched Global 7500/8000 have longer ranges.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, why Bombardier? They’re as corrupt as any third world banana republic.

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        Good Gas Mileage?

      • kinnath

        Bombardier and Gulfstream have spent the last couple of decades trying to one-up the other to get the longest range biz-jet.

        My guess is that the Global Express was on top at the time USAF picked a plane to be the BACN.

      • Not an Economist

        BACN is basically a cell phone tower payload.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Data Link node.

      • Not an Economist

        I was trying to make a comparison to what more people know about but that is accurate.

    • UnCivilServant

      Operator or maintenance.

      • Not an Economist

        It is possible something just broke. Not necessarily poor maintenance.

  2. PBRstreetgang

    “Am I too cynical?”
    You can never be ‘too cynical’.

    • Count Potato

      “If Omar did marry her brother, she could be found guilty of committing marriage fraud — a felony offense punishable with a prison sentence of up to five years and a fine of up to $250,000.”

      I’m too cynical to believe that’s ever going to happen.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That won’t happen in a million years to her. To some stupid Average Asha it might but Omar is a protected person who won’t be touched.

    • hayeksplosives

      “You can never be too cynical.”

      The corollary to “There’s no such thing as peak derp” is “There’s no such thing as peak cynicism.”

      May God have mercy on our souls.

      • Ted S.

        There’s probably a Planck limit which we can only asymptotically approach.

  3. Count Potato

    “Sydney (AFP) – A woman died while taking part in a cake-eating competition to celebrate Australia Day, local media reported Monday.”

    To be fair, eating too much cake is way far down the list of dangerous things to do in Australia.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      When you live life in a place where nature is constantly trying to kill you, I think dying as a result of eating too much cake is a good way to go.

      • Florida Man

        I had a lamington when I was there. It’s not the cake you want to die eating. Not in a world with german chocolate.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I thought they were all dead from the fires and by extension from the Climate Crisis ™ anyway.

  4. Count Potato

    “Four years later, Tzintzún is running for the U.S. Senate, one of a dozen Democrats, including two other Latinos,hoping to electrify Texas voters as Beto O’Rourke did in 2018 in his race against Republican Sen.Ted Cruz.”

    Beto did what now?

    • Juvenile Bluster

      He gained a lot of support from people who can’t vote in Texas. That counts, right?

      • Ted S.

        But not enough to run for President.

      • Chipwooder

        The name of the game in Texas politics is having the most campaign signs in front of houses in Brooklyn and Falls Church.

    • CPRM

      hoping to electrify Texas NY, DC and California voters as Beto O’Rourke did in 2018 in his race against Republican Sen.Ted Cruz.”

    • Florida Man

      So a billionaire with political connections couldn’t win, but some no name with no money, no experience and no connections is going to do it? And people think I’m high.

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        I think your High, you’re here………

      • Chafed

        Per the article, she is running against John Cornyn. But your point is still a good one.

    • Gadfly

      In fairness, he did electrify the electorate, pulling closer to winning than any statewide Democrat in a long time. And I saw a bunch of Beto bumper stickers and signs in my area, which while it is a Democratic area in the state the stickers did seem to outnumber the Obama stickers from 4 years prior.

  5. Spudalicious

    How the hell do you die eating cake?

    • UnCivilServant

      Choking? Aspirating vomit? Rupturing an aneuyrism because of heightened excitement levels?

    • libertarianjoe

      It’s just like when you die eating pizza, except with cake instead of pizza

    • Rhywun

      “Eating contest”. She probably died from eating a dozen cakes in 60 seconds.

    • kinnath

      It’s not relevant. “60yo woman has seizure and dies” isn’t as compelling a head line.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ask Marie Antoinette

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        ooooh, that cuts…..

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Let’s not lose our heads here.

  6. Rebel Scum

    Tzintzún said she was proud to have written O’Rourke’s plan for getting out Latino voters in the general election.

    Identity politiking as a latino probably works better if you are actually latino. But it is still stupid.

    • UnCivilServant

      Are they banking on Mexicans hating cubans enough to not pay attention to what matters?

    • RAHeinlein

      The plan where he sends out pre-printed voter registration cards to ineligible voters?

    • R C Dean

      Why would you be proud of having written a failed plan?

    • Atanarjuat

      Cristina Tzintzún Ramirez

      Great, another white-skinned fake Latino/a with a contrived name, just like Beto.

      With a baby on the way

      Never mind, it checks out.

  7. Count Potato

    “Bill Maher and Megyn Kelly may not align politically, but they have a few common enemies: the “broken” media, “cancel culture,” and political correctness. On Friday night, Kelly brought her redemption tour to Real Time, where she and Maher blasted the “snowflakes” who called for her firing after she defended blackface on NBC. The Real Time host stood by his guest, insisting that she was the victim of people who only care about “getting a scalp on the wall.” Added Maher, “They don’t care if you’re really a racist, which you’re not.”

    While Maher pushed Kelly on past at Fox News — “There’s another side to the story,” he said — they ultimately agreed on her larger point. “You know what the media is biased toward? Money. They’re biased toward money and conflict, because that’s what sells,” replied the Real Time host. “I was watching the Virginia rally this week — there was a gun rally, it was peaceful — and you could see how disappointed the media was that the Civil War didn’t break out.””

    https://decider.com/2020/01/27/megyn-kelly-bill-maher-cancel-culture/

    • Count Potato

      “While Minaj appeared to distance herself from her brother following the conviction, she ironically married a man who was previously convicted of a similar crime.

      In the fall of 2019, the rapper tied the knot with convicted sex offender Kenneth Petty who served time for the 1995 rape of a 16-year-old girl in Queens, New York.

      He spent four years in prison in connection with the incident, and was also placed on the sex offender registry.

      Kenneth also has a first-degree manslaughter conviction in 2006 in the fatal 2002 shooting of a man. He served seven years of a 10-year sentence and was released from custody in 2013.”

      • grrizzly

        Was it a rape rape in 1995 or a statutory rape? There’s a difference between an 11 yo and a 16 yo.

    • Rhywun

      A third sibling, Jumanji, was unavailable for comment.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *golf clap*

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        Winner!

      • Chipwooder

        Hah! Reminds me of an old Craig Kilborn quip when Latrell Sprewell was suing someone, who said that he didn’t know why Sprewell was being so litigious. Kilborn: “Sprewell replied, ‘Hey, leave my sister out of this!'”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No wonder the Saudis like her and let her perform there.

    • Fatty Bolger

      On Monday, Maraj begged for ‘mercy’ and told the court: ‘I’d like to apologize for the pain that I caused. I had an excessive drinking problem’

      I’ve been drunk before, it never made me feel like raping an 11 year old child.

      • Gadfly

        Indeed, and someone who has those inclinations deep down ought to know better than to start drinking in the vicinity of a child. No mercy for him. The chair would be appropriate.

      • Enough About Palin

        I’m the opposite. I have to drink in excess in order to keep from raping an 11 year old child. Funny how everyone is different.

      • Spudalicious

        OMWC sock puppet confirmed.

      • Jarflax

        I thought he drank to excess WHILE not instead of?

    • R C Dean

      I think it was yesterday that I wrote that my default for most celebrities is that they are moral degenerates. If I didn’t, I meant to.

      Shit like this is why.

  8. hayeksplosives

    ILan Omar is a traitorous whore who should be expelled from the United States and sent to Gitmo or, worse, back to Somalia.

    The fact that she is a current US Representative and even being considered for US Senate is astonishing.

    • UnCivilServant

      Tell us how you really feel about her, Ms ‘splosives.

      I still find it odd that we’re taking in refugees from anywhere other than Canada or Mexico (or maybe a few caribbean islands), and not preparing them to go home as soon as practicable.

      Refugee is supposed to be a temporary status that ends with them going home, and there’s no need to go past the first safe spot available.

    • Tonio

      After the charade of impeachment, I can see a second-term President Trump unleashing the FBI on her. If you’re going to go full banana republic, don’t be surprised when the other team starts doing it back.

      • R C Dean

        She’s a grifter. Likely immigrated here under a false name with the rest of her family, who weren’t “oppressed” Somalis, but apparatchiks fleeing a revolt. Has pretty much openly admitted that she was married to two people at once, but with the fig leaf that one was only in her faith tradition or somesuch (even though Islam doesn’t allow women to have multiple husbands). She hasn’t admitted that one of her spouses was her brother, but the family uses two names (see, above, false name). Her bro-spouse now lives in England, I believe, where he can be unavailable for questioning.

        She’s scum, but I don’t expect the feds to actually go after her, because Congresschick. Now, if she loses in November, maybe.

      • Ted S.

        Isn’t she in a safe ultra-blue district?

      • UnCivilServant

        If she annoyed the powers that be, they’ll back a primary challenger

      • tarran

        It’s not that the family uses two names. They are two distinct families that were each given a number of slots to flee Somalia. The I Omar is a member of the Elmi family. The Omar family lied and claimed she was a member of their family as a favor.

        The Elmi family didn’t get visas into the U.S. and so when her brother wanted to come to the U.S. to study, she married him.

        It was a completely sham marriage solely for immigration fraud.

        It also happens to be a victimless crime, which means no crime at all. 😉

      • Ted S.

        The victim is the person who couldn’t get the visa because Ilhan’s brother took the spot.

      • Drake

        I thought we were the victims for mistakenly admitting yet more grifters into the country?

      • R C Dean

        Thanks, tarran. Didn’t know the backstory on the two families.

        The Omar family lied and claimed she was a member of their family as a favor.

        IOW, she immigrated here under a false name. Sounds like fraud to me. Too late to do anything about it, I suppose.

      • UnCivilServant

        Immigration fraud is grounds for revoking citizenship.

        It’s one of the few things that are.

      • grrizzly

        Send her back where she came from is actually what the U.S. law demands.

      • tarran

        Yeah, under US law, not only is she guilty of perjury, because she lied on all her applications, she automatically gets a trip back to Somalia and loses her citizenship.

        However, legally speaking, they can deport someone to a place where their life is in danger, so in theory, they can strip her of her citizenship (and her congressional seat), but she probably could get the courts to permit her to stay here indefinitely in a legal limbo.

      • Fatty Bolger

        “The Omar family lied and claimed she was a member of their family as a favor.”

        Was it really a favor, or were there strings attached?

      • Playa Manhattan

        It was also student loan/aid fraud. Your parents’ income isn’t considered if you’re married, so it made her loan payments substantially smaller.

      • tarran

        I think the FBI might go after her now.

        Word on the street is that she has a thug who goes around threatening people’s lives to get them to keep quiet about her many misdeeds (her perjury, adultery & I would expect other things).

        If I am reading the powerline article right, that guy done fucked up and has been posting physical threats against a couple of journalists that have been investigating her on Facebook of all things.

        And the same guys investigating her for the FBI have now started looking at those.

        I wouldn’t be surprised if her attack dog isn’t on a leash (i.e. she has been talking to him about who to intimidate and whom he should leave alone). That measure of control makes her part of a conspiracy. Moreover, the almost certainty that she’s been skimming charity money to her personal use brings RICO into play.

        She could end up in jail and then deported.

        And it would benefit the FBI to look like they weren’t a solely ‘investigate Trump while turning a blind eye to Democrat misconduct’ organization come the next round of budget talks.

      • JD is Unemployed

        At some point last year when Trump said something/twitted something about her (I think it was the “if you don’t like USA go back to where you came from”), the BBC did some radio piece on how noble and stunning and brave she is. I didn’t hear it but my parents were in awe and see her as some kind of saint.

  9. Rebel Scum

    I thought we had already established that appeasement doesn’t work.

    In a viral tweet, Sen. Loeffler blasted Romney for wanting to “appease the left” over his support of impeachment witnesses, when, according to the senator, there is “no case for impeachment.”

    “After [two] weeks, it’s clear that Democrats have no case for impeachment,” Loeffler posted via social media on Monday.

    “Sadly, my colleague [Senator Romney] wants to appease the left by calling witnesses who will slander the [Donald Trump] during their 15 minutes of fame,” she said.

    The senator added, “The circus is over. It’s time to move on!”

    • ChipsnSalsa

      It’s time to move on!

      “Hey, that’s our line.”

      — late 90’s Democrat

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Romney doesn’t want to appease the left, he wants to use the flimsiest of pretexts as an excuse to get even with Trump. The man’s a snake in the grass masquerading as a decent guy.

      • grrizzly

        How did Utah elect this carpetbagger?

      • Rebel Scum

        And Mormons are usually such nice people.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        He’s still pissed that Trump forced him to eat frog legs.

  10. Rebel Scum

    Sheriff has the audacity to take his oath seriously.

    Virginia Sheriff Richard Vaughan went viral at the Richmond gun rights rally earlier in January for refusing to enforce the Democratic Party’s gun control laws. Now he’s telling the Daily Caller exactly why.

    Roughly 22,000 gun-rights advocates demonstrated at the Virginia capital. More than 100 localities in the state that have declared themselves Second Amendment sanctuaries. City governments and sheriffs like Vaughan of Grayson County have vowed not to use their resources to enforce the gun control laws Democratic Gov. Ralph Northam is currently pushing through the state legislature.

    While the state attorney general has said Second Amendment sanctuary resolutions have “no force of law,” Vaughan argues that the oath he took to uphold the Constitution prevents him from following the governor’s lead.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’ll be interesting to see how many adhere to their principles when funds start being withheld.

      • Tonio

        He’s a constitutional officer so the county has to fund him. However he could find his state “grants” dry up.

      • Chipwooder

        There are all sorts of ways for the Coonman administration to get back at this guy, such as the state-level purchasing agreements for police vehicles, which localities such as his can be cut out of.

  11. Count Potato

    “She was the real victim yesterday. Not Kobe, not his daughter and certainly not the other 7 people who lost their lives.

    It was Felicia. We should mourn for her.”

    https://twitter.com/Dbruce2Don/status/1221906091648352256

    I hope that’s parody, but I can no longer tell.

    • Rhywun

      I don’t “mourn” for anyone I don’t know personally.

      • Jarflax

        ^^ !50+ thousand people die every day. I do not mourn for them because I do not know them. I refuse to mourn for Kobe, who I held in contempt while he lived. I do not celebrate his death either, and I certainly do not celebrate the deaths of the others, but if any man’s death diminishes me, some diminish me less than others, and this one is way on the less side of that distribution.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Yeah. I’m pretty sure that was a sarcastic reply to the original tweet, but you never know.

      • Urthona

        i think it was.

    • grrizzly

      Was she really suspended for mentioning sexual assault allegations against Kobe Bryant? Seems excessive. All sorts of negative things are mentioned right away when a less beloved celebrity dies. I don’t care about basketball. I probably spent more time watching news when Bryant was accused of rape than seeing him on the “field.”

      • Urthona

        no. she wasn’t.

      • Chipwooder

        I thought I read that she was suspended for screenshots of the hate mail she received which included the email addresses they were sent from.

      • R C Dean

        The story is she was suspended for tweeting screenshots of responses that showed people’s names, or something.

      • Festus

        “Here are some words that rhyme with Cory. Glory, story, allegory, Montessori..”

      • Playa Manhattan

        She had already falsely accused a man of sexual assault, so it probably wasn’t smart to draw attention to herself in that manner.

      • grrizzly

        I read that article last year, but didn’t remember he name. Felicia Sonmez is an evil bitch, she deserves no benefit of the doubt whatsoever. I hope she’s fired and never gets another job.

      • DrOtto

        Basketball is played in a rink, not a field.

      • Spudalicious

        I thought it was a pitch?

      • Rhywun

        Goooool!

    • Mojeaux

      It’s hyperbole, but getting suspended for tweeting a news story is bullshit. People don’t suddenly become angels and sinless when they die. They’re still assholes.

      • Urthona

        she got fired because she doxxed people that sent hate emails to her, which is legally a no-no

      • Gadfly

        People don’t suddenly become angels and sinless when they die. They’re still assholes.

        True, but it is bad taste to bring it up in the fresh light of a tragedy. Stuff like that shouldn’t be put down the memory hole, but it should be saved for the later retrospectives and histories, not paraded around while people are still in shock and processing things.

  12. Count Potato

    “This is a tweet for for the founders of the gun violence prevention movement started centuries ago by almost entirely black, brown and indigenous lgbtq women and non binary people that never got on the news or in most history books.

    We may not know all your names but thank you.”

    https://twitter.com/davidhogg111/status/1221645982187823110

    Not parody. That’s 100% pure retarded.

    • Bob the Gravatar Hater

      Look, there is an Island, it’s called Lesbos, that’s where the Gun control started……….

    • tarran

      He doesn’t have to be right. He just has to appeal to the prejudices of the mob – which has been miseducated by his masters.

    • Chipwooder

      Doing Harvard proud, I see.

      He’s just inventing pure nonsense now.

    • Rebel Scum

      Dang, girl.

      Mindy Robinson ??
      @iheartmindy
      4h
      Replying to
      @davidhogg111

      Crazy that I’m an American History major, and never knew about these herds of non binary LGBT indigenous women roaming the plains, that hated guns and “never got on the news” all these “centuries ago.” ?

      Would.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      He’s got to be trolling now.

      • peachy rex

        Just desperate. “David Hogg? Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”

  13. Rebel Scum

    Chris, you mendacious hack.

    Wallace said, “If you want a sense of how big the news is that we’ve heard in the last twelve hours, fourteen hours, just listen to the Trump supporters, frankly, like Congressman Lee Zeldin and a lot of others spinning like crazy that it isn’t big news, and you get a sense that this is really an important development in this case.”

    He continued, “Let’s put it in the context of where we were or thought we were going to be this morning, and that is that it appeared that the drive to call witnesses in the Senate had basically petered out, it wasn’t going to happen, that you were going to have the defense lawyers for the president present their case over the next today and possibly tomorrow. We were going to have the hours of question and answer, and then there was going to be a vote on witnesses that was going to fail, and the president was going to be acquitted. There was a lot of talk that this trial was going to be over by Friday. That may still happen, but it seems to me it’s much, much less likely because the main argument that the defense has made is there’s no first-hand evidence that the president specifically conditioned support for Ukraine on political investigations of the Democrats and of Joe Biden. And here you have, according to the New York Times report, the transcript of one of the people and the name of his book is In the Room Where it Happened, of course, the line from the Hamilton musical, one of the guys in the room former national security adviser John Bolton saying, ‘No, President Trump told me directly no aid released until Ukraine began those investigations.’”

    • libertarianjoe

      John Bolton – totally without bias. Not at all self-interested. No way he would say something like that just to sell his book which says that same thing.

      • Ted S.

        Or to try to get revenge on Trump for canning him.

      • libertarianjoe

        Frankly, I’m appalled that you would even suggest such an unthinkable thing! /s

    • R C Dean

      Oh, FFS. Does anyone care that it actually was released without the quid?

      I’m guessing the book is Bolton taking credit for talking him out of it.

      Even though there are multiple other witnesses, including every Ukrainian, saying there never was a quid pro quo.

      The White House has a copy of the book. Expect them to release the supposedly damning parts of it any day now. Like they did with the Transcript of Doom.

      • libertarianjoe

        Well, ok, maybe he didn’t withhold any aid.

        And alright, fine, maybe there wasn’t any quid pro quo.

        But he probably thought about it!

        Plus, he’s Donald Trump.

        And shouldn’t that really be enough?

        John Bolton thinks so.

      • gbob

        Here’s what really pisses me off. Even if Trump said, directly, “I’m withholding aid until you get me dirt on Biden”, it’s still not anywhere close to a criminal offense, let alone a “high crime or misdemeanor”. Now, if he weaponized the FBI/NSA/CIA to spy on a political rival, I might find myself convinced of a case….but as far as I’ve read in the press, no president has ever done that.

        Fuck this shit. I’m absolutely voting for the orange buffoon this November.

      • Chipwooder

        My belief isn’t that Trump does nothing wrong. My belief is that I don’t give a fuck because the DC uniparty apparatchiks do much worse things with impunity, so I can’t be bothered to care about Trump’s conniving.

      • Chipwooder

        Goodbye horses

  14. Unreconstructed

    Meet the Latina hoping to lose to Ted Cruz like Beto didJohn Cornyn

    FTFY – Cruz isn’t up this time around. It’s Cornyn, who has less baggage.

    • Brett L

      Meh, I don’t live there any more. I wouldn’t expect people to differentiate Skeletor from Tiny Hands if they didn’t live in FL.

      • Unreconstructed

        But it was in the article. You do read the articles, don’t you?

    • Ted S.

      The Cult of Obama continues apace.

    • one true athena

      I saw someone run the numbers on Grammy Awards for politicians, it was something like 20 to Dems and only one GOP. lol

      Spoken Word Album is the easiest route to a Grammy. If you’re a Dem politician, at least.

    • RAHeinlein

      The Grammy will make her the most artistically qualified candidate ever.

    • Festus

      Shit started going down hill when Disco became popular.

    • Festus

      I’d hate him a little less if he didn’t act the “Tuff-guy” whenever someone calls him on his mendacity. Man, be a cunte. Revel in the descriptor!

  15. Gadfly

    Meet the Latina hoping to lose to Ted Cruz like Beto did! Err, maybe I misread the piece and inferred some things.

    I RTFA, and decided to be a pedant and point out that technically you did misread the piece, as she’s hoping to lose to John Cornyn (who’s up for reelection this year), not Ted Cruz. Although she’s actually going to lose in the primary, as she doesn’t seem to be too skilled in politicking (she’s hoping to run on the Hispanic vote, yet according to the article she told an audience that her last name “is more Mexican than any García or Lopez”).

  16. Enough About Palin

    “I feel like you should really know better at 60.”

    True that. I recently read a story about a college coed who died in a pancake eating contest. Seems they are great for plugging up your throat causing you to die. We need to outlaw food eating contests for those under 60.

    • Agent Cooper

      ” We need to outlaw food eating contests for those under 60.”

      Nah. Darwinism at work. Good for humanity.

  17. Yusef drives a Kia

    I cant make Gravatar accept changes, they show up at the Gravatar site, but won’t update here, whaaaa!

    • UnCivilServant

      Does glibs use gravatar right now?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        sadly, yes, it worked for me before, but now I’m stuck flipping you off, I want my old pix back, and they are loaded on the Gravatar site

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I logged out, logged back in, changed the photo, it just won’t take, fucking Bullshit….

      • R C Dean

        I think you can still change your avatar the old way, by editing your profile here.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I tried that too,

      • R C Dean

        Scroll to the bottom, where it says Avatar Image, etc.

        Don’t use the gravatar profile section.

      • The Hyperbole

        Yep, just scroll down past the gravatar bit and there is a place to upload your own image right to the site.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        that’s what I used to do, so I went back and reloaded an avatar From my Backup drive, and it worked! thanks Guys!

  18. Private Chipperbot

    Dinner with Hitler can get you canned…

    “This is probably not going to get a good review, but I’m going to say Adolf Hitler,” Berger, who has a history degree from Drury University, said, according to The Lanthorn. “It was obviously very sad and he had bad motives, but the way he was able to lead was second-to-none. How he rallied a group and a following, I want to know how he did that. Bad intentions of course, but you can’t deny he wasn’t a great leader.”

    Berger also named President John F. Kennedy and Christopher Columbus.

    Berger was suspended as the university in Allendale conducts a “thorough investigation,” according to a statement from the school.

    • Ted S.

      Sucking up to Communist leaders, however, is A-OK.

    • grrizzly

      Yesterday I saw a guy on a street in LA yelling “Hail Hitler!” to passersby. He looked crazy.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      He’s not wrong. Hitler was a monster but dinner with him could be enlightening. How is it any different from psychiatrists, journalists, scholars etc. sitting down with notorious criminals to get insights into their minds?

    • Sensei

      It says right there in his title, Offensive Coordinator. Hard to see why there is an issue.

      Personally as a guy that takes the awful NJTransit trains, I’d pick another close pal.

    • Rhywun

      Never, ever, ever talk to a reporter.

      How hard is that for people to get??

  19. Rufus the Monocled

    “In divorce papers asking to dissolve their marriage by alternate means in 2017, Omar swore under penalty of perjury that she had no way of contacting Elmi and said his last known location was London in June 2011.

    But lease and eviction records and traffic violations reviewed by The Post suggest Elmi was in the US the whole time — living just 2.6 miles away from her at an apartment in downtown Minneapolis.”

    This is the part in the movie where Omar, when, confronted with the evidence, explodes in anger shouting, ‘You stupid Somalian dumbfuck hick! I shoulda left you with those pirates! All you had to do is lay low and not even that you could do! I told you to pay those fucking bloody tickets you shit for brains!

    /looks at jury. Continues.

    ‘And he’s a terrible fuck. Not like my boy over there.’

    /Winks seductively at Mynett. He lowers head embarrassed. She then looks back at Elmi. Gives him the evil eye. Makes ‘small dick’ motion with hands.

    “I’ll be sure to drink extra blood and summon Huur for you asshole”.

  20. Count Potato

    “a pro-antifa writer for Teen Vogue, calls for people to come to a fundraiser for “political prisoner” David Campbell. Campbell, a New York City antifa militant, was convicted & sentenced for punching & choking a 56-year-old Trump supporter.”

    https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1221314334430679041

    • Count Potato

      “.@AylingLindsay, who was also arrested at a previous violent protest in Pittsboro, NC, blocked me. This is the video she uploaded. It appears to show Calvin Megginson, an antifa activist, getting pushed by a tractor w/a confederate flag after standing in the middle of the street:”

      https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1221314334430679041

    • Chipwooder

      All that “comrade” shit from the Commie antifa types really annoys the shit outta me.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LARPers

  21. The Late P Brooks

    A cake eating contest sounds like something on the calendar at Davos.

    • Chipwooder

      Naggers?

  22. gbob

    Had my 3 month old grandson over all day. Boy, this grandparent thing is a good gig. All the best parts, and I still get to drink after he leaves.

    Read him the Billy Goats Gruff story. God damned mendacious goats, trying to get fat and happy by violating another creatures property rights. What a great moral. If you don’t protect your property the first time a freeloader tries to cross your bridge, it’s only going to invite larger, and eventually murderous, parasites to lynch you. “Defend your bridge from the welfare seeking statists, or you’re sure to find yourself gorged, Jax”. I’m glad I can find that kind of wisdom in the ages to impart to him.

    Also, in a case of being a Gen X grandparent, I tried different music to calm him down after his feeding. A Bach Album. Some Ellington. Barbara started playing ELO and some of her prog rock favorites. In the end it was the dulcet tones of the Circle Jerks that soothed the savage beast.

    • Chipwooder

      Kid sounds like my kind of guy, that’s for sure.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      the best time, enjoy every minute!

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Gen X grand parent? They exist?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Barely….

      • Chipwooder

        My wife works with a woman who is a grandmother at 38. Had her oldest when she was 20 and now that girl just had a baby at 18.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        My wife, 19 for our Daughter, My Daughter, 19 for my oldest Gson=
        Wendy a Grandma at 38, no big deal….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        or, Idiocracy…….

      • gbob

        Plenty of ’em. I had an ex-fiance who married an ex of hers (who I almost, literally and not figuratively, killed since she claimed that he raped her….that’s a whole story) and had a kid when he was 17. She was a grandmother my 40. I never passed up a chance to tease her how she was a GILF. Now my current woman is a GILF. She had a kid at 28, and the kid had one at 18. That’s two grandmothers I’ve been with, and not a single one born before 1970.

        First, it makes me feel old typing that out. Second, I now realize I have a real grandmother fetish.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        nah, just old…

      • Fourscore

        I’m still stuck under the bridge with you and your friend, waiting to see how that turns out. My experience with grandmas is they like to make cookies for their grand children, which is OK, of course, but certainly doesn’t get the adrenaline moving.

      • gbob

        Well, it may be mental. I put myself into a range of “must be closer to my age than my son’s age”, so greater chance of GILFS. I set that rule after a date with a young little thing where I thought “I should text my son to find out what she’s talking about”. I will say, however, that women over 40 can be absolutely stunning, plus they’re better lovers in every way.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    In the end it was the dulcet tones of the Circle Jerks that soothed the savage beast.

    “I can’t believe I used to like those guys.”

    • Chipwooder

      “Nice friends you got there, Otto.”

      “Thanks….I made ’em myself!”

    • gbob

      Why the fuck were they flying VFR when there was an IFR advisory? Jesus. Yeah. I don’t know the kind of pressure you get from a celebrity passenger, but there was so much cloud cover in those mountains, that this is looking a great deal like pilot error.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He was scud running. Probably had done it before many times before and figured hey, no problem.

      • gbob

        I’m strictly a fixed wing guy. I mean, I intellectually understand force vectors work and how helicopters fly, but damned if I can accept it on an emotional level. It’s like voodoo.

      • UnCivilServant

        If the engine dies on a fixed wing airplane, you have a chance to glide.

        If the engine dies on a helicopter, you drop.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Wrong…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ask Ozy about autorotation,

      • UnCivilServant

        *snaps off rotor blade*

        Try it now.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        LOL Good one!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Imagine a wing, now imagine a slice of that wing spinning, Voila! Frisbees and Helicopters, or as they call them,
        Rotary Winged Aircraft. Better auto gyro than a stall in a plane, any time

      • UnCivilServant

        Frisbees have a nasty habit of tipping into the ground about five feet from the thrower.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        maybe when you throw them, mine go about 250 feet, if I need them to, I also fly Golf discs, which are much more aerodynamic than Whammo, keep the nose down,

      • gbob

        Except that I can adjust the rudders the ailerons to increase my speed, pushing more air over the wings and giving me control over the stall. Not seeing how much control I have when a rotor breaks.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Same principle in autorotation. You’re rapidly descending and building up rotor speed which you will use to land it safely. Heavier rotors and altitude are your friends.

        As lonw as this guy was, he was probably in the dead zone of altitude for that chopper where there is no possible recovery.

      • gbob

        Same principle in autorotation. You’re rapidly descending and building up rotor speed which you will use to land it safely. Heavier rotors and altitude are your friends.

        As I said, Voodoo to me on an emotional level, although I accept the reality that those damn things fly.

        Still seems like an RFK issue of losing track of of your actual altitude. Once again, though, the NTSB would never call me on this. I never spent a minute behind a stick on those things.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        jFK Jr was an idiot. I’m very familiar with the Piper Saratoga and can almost guarantee I know how he killed himself.

        He was probably on autopilot and reached across the yoke to adjust the altimeter or something else. He touched the trim adjust on top of the yoke which releases the autopilot. The single prop caused him to slowly turn over into an upside down dive. Slow enough that he wouldn’t feel it until the plane started to shake from speed. By that time it’s too late unless you have sufficient altitude to flip it and slowly pull up.

        I surmise this because I know someone who did the same thing and only survived because the copilot was an aerobatics instructor.

      • Sensei

        They recovered the avionics.

        He turned the autopilot on and off multiple times.

        My guess is he got disoriented and though his instruments were malfunctioning along with the autopilot.

      • Mojeaux

        JFK Jr was an idiot

        Heh.

        I was in a Mormon chat room (I was new-ish) when his plane went down. There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

        I said, “And thus we see that the sins of the father are visited upon the sons.”

        Cue outrage.

        Them: “Why do you say that? What sins?”

        Me: *recounts Joe’s bootlegging and JFK’s whoring*

        Them: LIES!!1!

        I have never been banhammered so fast in my life. That’s what I think of every time I think of JFK Jr and I chuckle.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ve flown fixed wing and a little bit of helicopter. The type of chopper he was flying is relatively easy to pilot. It’s the little ones like the R22 that are physically demanding because of the much reduced rotor weight.

        Autorotation works, but you have to practice it.

        Incidentally, my father’s old R44 went down out there in California a few months ago and killed the occupants. The student was learning how to autorotate.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        He was piocky about his Helicopters from what I heard, and the pilot had to know about all the hills in the area, Fuck i do….

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That Sikorsky is pretty much bullet proof mechanically.

        Getthereitis

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        except for the hillside part, they were fine,
        Where they were, the could have proceeded West, and been clear of hills all the way to the coast, the flight doesnt make sense to me now…

      • Playa Manhattan

        Controlled flight into terrain.

        It appears that it was 100% pilot error. The pilot was in full panic mode, and didn’t heed any of the warning signs.

        ATC warned him that he was too low for flight following. He was in a hold for 15 minutes near downtown waiting for weather to clear, tried to reroute to the north San Fernando Valley, and barely cleared a mountain at 2000 feet.

        And then he tried to go under the cloud cover.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        From the tapes, he was holding, special VFR, awaiting clearance into through Class C airspace. They didn’t let him in because of IFR traffic on a go-around.

        Something happened after the last handoff. Perhaps, could no longer maintain VMC? Who knows?

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Because the weather is never as bad as they’re calling…

        …until it is.

  24. Yusef drives a Kia

    So, now Wendy looks like Bane, with a respirator stuck to her head, Her color is good, eyes bright and she speaks fine, the mask just makes her voice quieter.
    we are both sad, and don’t know what’s going to happen, so we pray…
    Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Wendy………..
    /trying not to cry…

  25. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/01/straight-woman-dating-on-grindr.html

    “I’m a Heterosexual Woman Who’s Politically Opposed to Heterosexuality”

    Dear How to Do It,

    I’m a cis woman in kind of a classic millennial sex pickle: I’m really repelled by heterosexuality politically and personally, but I’m also really into dick. I’ve been thinking maybe I should look for bi dudes/ bicurious gay dudes, but I am not sure how best to do that. Rich, what would you think of a woman being on Grindr or Scruff? I do want to be respectful of gay men’s spaces and not horn in where I’m not welcome, but I really would love to find a vers guy with queer politics who would be up for casually dating a woman. What do you think? If you were me, where would you look?

    —Radical

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Your sexual preference is now a political statement or something.

      wokism = brain cancer

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      What is this Scruff of which she speaks?

      *waits nervously for an answer*

      • Count Potato

        “SCRUFF is an international social application for gay, bisexual, and transgender men that runs on iOS and Android devices”

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scruff_(app)

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        OK Boomer…
        /Me too

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “—Radical” Poser

    • Gadfly

      I’m really repelled by heterosexuality politically and personally, but I’m also really into dick.

      Sounds like she is into “toys” then, not actual men. If she dates bi men, she’ll be getting the hetero side of their personality, so that seems like a bad idea.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Who are we kidding? She lives with cats and will no doubt die alone. No heterosexual man will give her dick, because she is insufferable and not worth the effort. So now she’s terrorizing the gays.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Every time I read something so insane, all I think is “the whites are at it again”. Because this girl is no doubt white and college educated. You’d need college to believe that such stupidity makes any sense.

      • Gadfly

        Statistically, you are probably right. Educated foolishness is of a different kind than uneducated foolishness, and this certainly smacks of the former.

    • Chipwooder

      “vers”?

      • grrizzly

        Probably meant “bi.” Something whatever-fluid anyway.

    • B.P.

      How is her issue a “classic”? Please tell me there aren’t others thinking in a similar fashion.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That sounds faker then the old times Penthouse Forum letters. Gotta be made up.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    I’m a cis woman in kind of a classic millennial sex pickle

    Some times you’re in the sex pickle, and some times the sex pickle is in you.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Do you get a prize if you find the pickle?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Gotta ask the ER doc about that.

      • C. Anacreon

        You can usually get a pickle out of most orifices without needing a trip to the ER.

        Incandescent light bulbs going in wide side first, not so easy. Although they do produce memorable and easy to read X-rays.

      • Spudalicious

        14 year old slipped in the shower and got a shampoo bottle stuck in his ass.

    • KSuellington

      Sex Pickle would be a great band name or album.

  27. gbob

    Just put on a Shorty Long album on. God damn, he died too young.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    “Michelle Obama wins her first Grammy Award and inches closer to EGOT status ”

    Wait, what? There’s a category for sermonizing scolds?

    • B.P.

      I wonder if people who receive awards-for-show in this fashion think to themselves, “I really earned this.”, or if they go home, toss the award in a closet, and giggle at the mendacity of it all.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re deluded or they’re cynical

      • Florida Man

        I think they really believe they are that awesome and that’s why your neck should be under their boot.

      • Urthona

        Gotta be honest. If they gave me one tomorrow for having the most sonorous farts in the land, I would proudly display it on my mantle.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Bitter, angry woman seeks love

    Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., one of several Democratic presidential candidates increasing get-out-the-vote efforts to progressive religious voters, launched her campaign’s Interfaith Advisory Council Friday to “persist together” in a “righteous struggle” against President Trump.

    ——-

    “The current administration has spouted harmful rhetoric toward religious minorities and communities of color, and it is our duty to combat this vitriol with love. This council will put faith into action with love and intentionality,” Warren said in her video announcement.

    “Love your neighbor, or else.”

    • gbob

      I’m against ideological struggle sessions unless they involve oiled lesbians.

      • Gadfly

        I think you are looking for a physical struggle between those participants, not an ideological struggle. The latter would be rather boring, even with the oil.

    • Rhywun

      Says one of the leaders of the party that imposes anti-religious litmus tests on judicial nominees.

    • Fourscore

      My neighbor’s kind of chunky but his wife is cute. Can I do the neighbor’s wife part without breaking any commandments?

      /not asking for a friend/

  30. gbob

    Visited TOS for the first time in months.

    A defense of Sotomayor.

    I can’t…..I can’t…..

    Nope. Brain turned off. Everytime I wonder if the problem is my own mindset, some mother fucker has to come along and remind me that it’s the world that’s insane, not me.

    • Gadfly

      …it’s the world that’s insane, not me

      Por que no los dos?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Outside of the 4th Amendment, she sucks.

    • Rhywun

      I think we can do a little better than a judge who’s good on one issue and shitty on every other issue.

      • gbob

        Obviously photo-shopped. STEVE SMITH isn’t even raping a single one of them.

      • straffinrun

        Hope this isn’t a misthread.

      • Fatty Bolger

        SUPREME SMITH is the justice we need.

    • gbob

      Damn. Replied to the wrong thread. Stupid scotch.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        and then you get lost in the threads……

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      That applies to Drivers, and people walking through stores,
      Get off the Phone!

      • Urthona

        make me

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        if I could, I would, it’s dangerous to me, therefore violating the NAP, I don’t drink and drive for the same reason,
        Shut up and Drive!

      • Urthona

        nonsense. i can totally text and drive. i’m doing it rufhava z a zbxvahaj..(..??

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Honestly, I tried and noticed my speed slowing, swerving, etc. I just won’t do it….
        Awesome Driver, IMHO

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        BTW, I have only walked up to one person, took away their phone, and crushed it under my Bootheel, don’t EVER pull into a crosswalk when I’m in it!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Sweet!

    • straffinrun

      Consistent with self strangulation. Move along.

  31. KSuellington

    There is pretty obviously some illegal shit going down with Ms Omar, but I’d be flabbergasted if she really gets nailed with any of it. I’m not saying she married her bro, but it looks like at a minimum immigration fraud of some sort. Some animals are more equal than others I guess.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      1 more nail in the Coffin, Electric Bugaloo is coming……

    • Playa Manhattan

      She absolutely married her biological brother.

      • KSuellington

        As Sly might say, it’s a family affair. Can you actually imagine her getting busted and convicted of anything major like that? I really can’t see it happening, and I believe she is guilty of some serious crimes.

      • Playa Manhattan

        She’s in several protected classes, the most important being a congresswoman.

      • Urthona

        yes but to commit immigration fraud.

      • Playa Manhattan

        There’s a way to put an end to the incest accusations. Come clean.

  32. straffinrun

    January snow > January rain. Morning commute sucked, but still did 10k by bicycle. Poncho FTW.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      6000 miles? in a day? must be some good Meth…

      • straffinrun

        ?

      • Mojeaux

        I love your Libertopia. Well done!

      • straffinrun

        Thx

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Cool!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        So you’re the Tic Tac UFO owner………….
        /Makes sense

    • Mojeaux

      She made a good point, but this made me LOL.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        There is a lot of truth to memes.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Or for once, you could shut up and let people process it without your opinion.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Or don’t call people rapists based off of a single accusation that was never adjudicated in court

  33. Festus

    Happy recent news – CPRM found a job. Congrats! Sad recent news – 4×20 lost an in-law. Condolences…