Monday Morning Links

by | Jan 27, 2020 | Daily Links | 498 comments

Two Laker Legends

NBA fans are grieving today over the death of Kobe Bryant, one of his daughters, and several other people on a helicopter that should have never taken off. It’s a rare situation when an athlete or former athlete is so young when he/she dies in tragic fashion.  Kobe joins the sad ranks of Roberto Clemente, Thurman Munson and others in that category.  RIP, Black Mamba. I was never your biggest fan, but I know you’re missed by much of the sports world and its fans today (obviously not including that WaPo writer and a bunch of third-wave feminists).

Djoker cruising Down Under

Down Under, Djoker, Thiem, and Federer moved on on the men’s side of the Aussie Open. Medvedev was bounced.  And on the women’s side, Halep, Barty, and Kvitova are heading to the quarterfinals.  This is when it gets interesting, so I’ll be posting more about it. And across the pond, Liverpool choked away a 2-goal lead to draw with a third-tier side in the FA Cup to force a replay.  And ManUre and City thumped their weaker opponents.  Oh well, more experience for the Reds’ B-side.

The young genius

Musical genius Mozart was born on this day.  Was he better than Beethoven?  I think he was, but some would disagree. He shares it with trippy English writer Lewis Carroll, labor union goon Samuel Gompers, iceberg-rammer Edward Smith, mustache aficionado Wilhelm II, lovely actress Donna Reed, physicist Samuel C.C. Ting, dancer/actor Mikhail Baryshnikov, Thin Lizzy’s Brian Downey, football player Billy “White Shoes” Johnson, Chief Justice John Roberts, comedian Patton Oswalt, and hockey player Patrice Briesbois.

OK< on to…the links!

Adam Schiff apparently doesn’t know what a threat is. But the NYT, WaPo, et cetera, are reporting his fragile feelings as fact.  Man, he sure is a pussy.

A comedian tells an unruly fan to STFU. But some fans are more equal than others.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.”

This GoFundMe will be interesting to track. Not sure he’s gonna hit his goal on this one.

As deaths numbers for the coronavirus rise, officials call a meeting. I wonder if the caterers are gonna be serving anything still alive.

Something, something, poke a bear. I just hope our response includes a lot of bag-packing. On that side of the world rather than this side.

This is some weird shit right here. Man, some people’s kinks are hard to wrap your head around.

Never argue with a woman behind the wheel. Come on, man. This is basic stuff.

Here you go. Enjoy.

Go have a great day, dear friends.

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

498 Comments

  1. Pat

    Pretty sure he actually did it tho.

  2. Pat

    A comedian tells an unruly fan to STFU. But some fans are more equal than others.

    Michael Richards is performing again?

    • Just a thought not a sermon

      Comedians are doing some of the hardest shit there is–just standing up in front of a huge group of people by yourself and doing an ad hoc humor/philosophy/societal criticism monologue. The only way they have to defend themselves is to call out hecklers from the stage. If you take that away from them, no matter how how-ranking the heckler is, it’s not going to last much longer as an art form.

  3. Count Potato

    “Shomer posted to a downtown Tempe community Facebook group saying he “spent the last 24 hours in Tempe and Phoenix police custody for spraying ‘Penis Man,'” adding that SWAT officers raided his condo and vehicle in west Phoenix.”

    A SWAT team for graffiti? This shit is getting way out of hand.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, we don’t have any non-SWAT officers. Technically now there’s ‘Weapons and Tactics’ officers, since there’s nothign Special about them. But we couldn’t stand the “WAT Officer?” jokes.

      • Tejicano

        Silly Wardrobe And Toys

      • UnCivilServant

        You just wish you were tacticool too.

        /WAT Officer

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Tactical pajamas are more low drag than polyester uniform pants and a button down shirt. That is to say, they are easier to keep the pants from sagging down on a 325 lbs cops flat ass than a regular belted pair of pants, so everyone wants in.

    • Just a thought not a sermon

      He was potentially armed with cans of spray paint! Do you know how dangerous that shit can be?

      • UnCivilServant

        Especially in poorly ventillated areas.

        *coughs up primer-clogged phlegm*

      • Swiss Servator


        “Once they huff that stuff, they are like The Hulk!”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Silver is for pussies.

        GO WARRIORS!

      • sloopyinca

        You sound like a salty Bay Area resident because the Raiders are headed to Vegas. ?

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Raiders? Who are they?

        /Oakland native

      • Swiss Servator

        That is a jolly looking fellow, indeed.

    • commodious spittoon

      He might have flushed those spray cans otherwise.

    • Fourscore

      “is getting way out of hand”

      Some guys are luckier than others

      • dbleagle

        Back in the 1970’s the Phoenix area had “Save our Desert” man. He also spray painted on a large number of signs, but he was arrested without a SWAT team.

  4. UnCivilServant

    Something, something, poke a bear. I just hope our response includes a lot of bag-packing. On that side of the world rather than this side.

    I think they’re just trying to cover up for the fact that they had another Airliner failure.

    Also half the vehicles in Iran are Toyotas.

  5. Just a thought not a sermon

    Mozart was better than Beethoven in sheer range. He composed, what, half a dozen operas which are among the best ever made? Beethoven composed one opera, which would never be performed today if his name wasn’t on it. He composed for every instrument, in every style extant at the time. Did you know Mozart was nearly as good a violinist as he was a pianist? There’s a story I read once where he was trying to get the first violinist in an orchestra he was rehearsing to play the difficult violin part he’d written, but the guy just couldn’t get it. Finally, Mozart snatched the violin out of his hands and said, “No, like this!” and proceeded to show him how to play it.

    Having said that, Beethoven was more influential. The classical period basically ended with Mozart and Haydn, but Beethoven kicked off Romanticism (in music), whose various strands would wind all the way into the early 20th century. He created the whole image of an artist as a romantic soul who just has to express himself, damn the consequences. Everybody for decades afterwards was trying to be like Beethoven–Brahms and Dvorak even into the 1860s and 1870s were trying to match the power of his symphonies.

    I think overall, Beethoven was the more important figure. I might say I personally prefer Beethoven’s music, as well.

    • UnCivilServant

      He created the whole image of an artist as a romantic soul who just has to express himself, damn the consequences

      This is not a good thing. An artist ranges from prostitute to mercenary.

    • Drake

      I agree with most of that while vastly preferring Mozart’s music.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      As much as I appreciate Mozart and Beethoven, neither of them would have existed if it weren’t for Bach.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Sure. You always build on who came before. I find Bach rather difficult to listen to, though. Too mathematical.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        -1 Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

      • Swiss Servator

        The Greatest Piece Of Music Ever Created.

      • Shirley Knott

        Written as a piece he would use to evaluate organ quality.
        It’s barely possible it’s his 3rd greatest organ work. The Passacaglia and a Fugue in C minor is #1, and for me, the Toccata and Fugue in F major is second.
        Try to find the E. Power Biggs recording on the 4 antiphonal organs of Freiburg Cathedral.

      • Not Adahn

        It sounds better on mouse organ

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        the middle is gibberish…..

      • Drake

        Bach is great background music when I’m trying to concentrate.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        And none would have existed without Monteverdi who modernized music.

        Mozart is The Beatles.
        Beethoven is The Rolling Stones.

        Mozart’s music was deliberately constructed for perfection. Beethoven was more punk.

        The Romantic philosophers and writers romanticized Beethoven. That famous pict of him is a romantic depiction not an actual one.

        Both are awesome.

      • Jarflax

        Mozart’s music was deliberately constructed for perfection. Beethoven was more punk.

        So, classical vs. romantic…

      • Urthona

        Beethoven is more metal. His music was more than 3 chords.

      • kinnath

        Well, Catherine did look pretty sharp there for a while.

    • Not Adahn

      Also, Amadeus was vastly better in every way than Immortal Beloved.

      • Drake

        I do love that movie and the way it treats Mozart’s genius. It has absolutely nothing to do with how the man actually lived his life.

      • Not Adahn

        Ballsiest protagonist of any movie ever. How many people decide to go one-on-one with God?

      • Not Adahn

        God’s W:L record is currently infinity:zero

      • Florida Man

        Idk man. he did get god to kill his enemy for him.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Nor were they fair to Salieri.

      • Jarflax

        Sure, you Eyeties always stick together!

      • UnCivilServant

        Now all I can think of is the exchange from a different movie.

        “He says you killed Moe Zart.”
        “Moe who?”
        “Zart.”
        “I don’t know, I’ve killed a lot of people.”

      • Florida Man

        Last action hero is an under appreciated film.

      • Drake

        Yes – a movie that made fun of it’s own genre.

    • Not Adahn

      Mozart was in violation of Sturgeon’s Law, but the percentage of his work that is boring is higher than that of Beethoven, imo. Much lower than Haydn’s though both suffered from the Classical importance of structure.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Haydn is pleasant, but I’ve never found any reason to delve into him. Did he compose more than a hundred symphonies, or did he compose one symphony more than a hundred times?

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        that’s Vivaldi..

      • Not Adahn

        This is actually pretty great if you like minimalism.

        Italy and Germany both punch well above their weight when it comes to music.

      • Not Adahn

        I really like what he did with the end of the first movement of Summer:

        https://youtu.be/8oYWfJuMGMA?t=683

        The best/most famous/most recognizable part of that movement is the final cadence, so when he gets to it, he just… keeps it going, and then has it go off somewhere while a violin descant come in.

  6. Drake

    Sounds like the pilot flew straight into a mountain at 185 mph. Damn shame there were two young girls on that flight.

    He gave MJ a run as best 2-guard ever.

    • WTF

      Apparently he was warned by ATC that his altitude was too low for his flight path.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s almost always pilot error, usually born out of hubris or impatience.

        You’ve got to learn to say no.

      • Tundra

        “Getthereitis” is a real thing.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Especially with kids on board. Jesus.

    • Ted S.

      How long until the wrongful death lawsuits are filed?

  7. Just a thought not a sermon

    122) My kids always want to listen to the Top 40 station in the car and sometimes I indulge them. The music’s mostly terrible but they enjoy it, and it mollifies them until we can get to our destination. I actually find Lizzo to be one of the more bearable artists on that station—she has a definite point of view, interesting lyrics, an actual vocal delivery. I wouldn’t listen to her of my own accord, but she’s about 20x better than the Biebers, Sheerans, Maroons, or whatever other crap is always on there.

    And yet, her big award last night for Truth Hurts, I don’t know. I mean, no doubt it’s a catchy song, but I can’t agree with it fundamentally. I suppose it’s supposed to be a feminist anthem. That’s certainly how a lot of people are taking it.

    Look at the very first line, though: “Why men great til they gotta be great?” Now if this is Lizzo kvetching to her girlfriends about how there aren’t any good men or whatever, that’s one thing. But if this is some kind of feminist statement, why a blanket statement about all men? Is she really saying there are no great men, and that all men let you down just when you need them most? That’s simply not true.

    Now it does strike me, maybe she personally has never met a reliable man. Maybe this is 100% her experience. But that doesn’t mean such men don’t exist. It means she’s not attracting them. But notice how she presents herself in the song—at point she refers to herself as a “bad bitch,” and she’s gleefully cutting about an ex who she dropped because she “needed something more exciting.” Presenting herself like that, it’s no surprise if the men she meets are flashy, with big personalities, but not ultimately men who stick around for the long haul.

    I guess in this way, the song does reflect how feminism comes across today in pop culture. Giving women permission to be whatever they want, do whatever they feel, fulfill themselves, and if men can’t get with that, who needs ‘em? Fine. But from a man’s point of view, a woman who’s not willing to make some sacrifices, to meet him halfway, is not going to be a good choice for a long-term relationship. A “bad bitch” might be fun, but when things get serious, of course the man’s out of there. He’s only with the egomaniac as long as it’s fun, and when it’s not fun anymore, adios. If Lizzo wants a reliable man, a man who’s going to stick around, she needs to be a woman that kind of man would want to be with.

    Maybe that’s not feminist, although I think women in long-term, mutually supportive relationships in the long run will find themselves with more freedom to be who they really want to be. Maybe what Lizzo really needs to do is think long and hard about what a more enlightened feminist view would really look like.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Do you think that is an actual belief or is she just making what sells? It’s pop music after all.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        I’m taking her at her word. I bet she does believe it, though.

    • Pat

      Clearly the song is pure fantasy since even John after a fifth of tequila wouldn’t take a run at a woman that fat.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Way to point out the elephant whale in the room

      • Tejicano

        “Aye aye Cap’n Ahab!”

      • Pope Jimbo

        Ahab was into white whales because he was totes alt-right

      • Ted S.

        But what if John likes piña coladas?

    • sloopyinca

      Your first mistake is trying to glean meaning from female pop music. It’s always reactionary to the current topic du jour in an attempt to sell records to teenage girls. Little more, little less.

      • invisible finger

        Sell records?

      • Tejicano

        You know what he meant. And I’d recommend you get off his lawn most Rikki tick.

    • Drake

      Last time I listened to current top 40 music with the family some guy (Marc Antony maybe?) was screeching about how bitchy his chick was but he wanted to marry her anyway. I had to turn it off and have a talk with the son (over wife’s protests) about how that was a colossally terrible idea.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Of the modern crap out there I find Bruno Mars a tremendous talent and throwback. I actually don’t mind his music.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        I’ll give you Bruno. He has a really 80s Prince kind of vibe going.

      • Swiss Servator

        That guy is VERY talented.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Bruno Mars would be a star in any era. A true musician.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Pat pretty much nailed it, but also, a little senstive JATNAS? Sure, #notallmen, but more than enough are assholes and would make terrible boyfriends.

    • Fatty Bolger

      The lyrics are pretty clever, but the idea of it being a feminist anthem is hilarious.

  8. Count Potato

    “The parties agreed that Frazier would be paid $5,000 to shoot Williams, but Frazier missed when she shot at Williams, according to San Francisco police.

    The four alleged murder plotters drove back to Oakland after the unsuccessful shooting, but Frazier wanted to be paid anyway, Ullom said.

    After a disagreement over money, Falcon and Montoya shot Frazier multiple times at her home in the 1700 block of Pleasant Valley Avenue in Oakland around 1:15 a.m. on Nov. 12, 2016, and fled in a car driven by Morgan, according to Ullom.”

    It sounds like Falcon or Montoya should have just shot Williams.

    • Just a thought not a sermon

      Sounds like Falcon and Montoya were determined somebody was gonna get shot that night.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      ”Jacobson ordered Falcon, known as “Stink” by her friends”

      Uhh not the best name. I assume it was shortened from “Fish Stink”

  9. PieInTheSky

    Well as both a Laker and Kobe fan, I am rather sad about it. Especially since he was still pretty present in the media, seen with his daughters at laker games etc. I don’t get what the pilot was doing.

    • Drake

      I’ve seen military pilots deal with bad weather by simply flying under it – including an F-18 that came with inches of hitting the antenna on my Hunvee. But that’s a really bad idea in the mountains.

      • Sensei

        I’m sure that was a relaxing and quiet experience.

        That gets a big “no thanks” from me.

      • Drake

        It was a 36′ whip antenna – and we were a few weeks away from war in ’91…

        It was mild compared to the practice run a pair of Tornadoes made over our camp. They popped over a hill then dropped to maybe 50′, passed over us and were gone – then we got hit with twin supersonic booms.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        That gets a big “no thanks” from me.

        That gets a *cough*bullshit*cough*

        No pilot intentionally flies at 50 feet of altitude unless they WANT to crash, or they are landing. Did you at least FOD check your Humvee?

      • Drake

        Like I said it was the eve of war and a Marine driving the F18. The Navy A-6s and A-7s we were going to practice with that day all cancelled.

      • Ozymandias

        There’s an old mantra among helo pilots regarding bad weather if you haven’t filed IFR, “lower, slower, land.” Unfortunately, after flying helos for a while you get averse to simply flying an IFR flight plan and just flying the airways or using other Nav aids (like GPS) when the weather is shit. It’s becomes a reflexive response and it has been deadly to helo pilots OVER and OVER again.
        Just eat shit, call and ask for IFR handling, and commit that it’s going to take longer. The problem is a helicopter is best for certain kinds of flights and flight regimes by certain kinds of passengers: relatively short, VFR-hops where planes are useless and cars are blocked by traffic or other obstacles and the rich can afford the convenience vs. the operating cost.
        The rich get used to going where they want when they want using helicopters and this will happen every so often. The pilots become infected with that attitude, and eventually a mountain or weather proves who is really king.

      • Sensei

        I was waiting for your $0.02 here.

        One of the first companies I worked for adjusted GA claims. Can’t tell you the amount of times we read “controlled flight into terrain”.

      • Ozymandias

        The first “case” my Crim Law professor used was a local article on a MedEvac flight into Portland, ME, hospital in which the pilot – rated only VFR, same as the helo he was flying – kept pushing the limits and wound up flaming out into Casco Bay – ran out of gas on final for the hospital helipad. Killed the pax, but he lived.

        The question was is it a “crime” or an “accident?”

        My prof was a former A-4 pilot in the Navy in Vietnam and his answer was “Of course the helo pilot is a criminal!”

      • Homple

        Patsy Cline, Buddy Holly, Ricky Nelson, The Big Bopper, Cowboy Copas, Richie Valens, Jim Croce….

      • kinnath

        . . . . a big part of Lynyrd Skynyrd

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        I haven’t listened to the tapes, But someone told me he was holding for 15 minutes or so. I assumed he was waiting for an IFR pickup.

  10. PieInTheSky

    Halen? that is racist or sexist or something

    • sloopyinca

      As a child of the 80s, I’m ok with Halep auto-correcting to Halen.

      ::rocks out to “”Eruption” intro::

      • Aloysious

        Eruption is epic, but I love Mean Street. Passionately.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Adam Schiff apparently doesn’t know what a threat is.

    Anything that can possibly be used against Bad Orange Man.

    • AlexinCT

      You are giving that idiot way too much credit, yo. With him it is just the instinct/compulsion to tell lies that got him elected that kicks in.

  12. Rhywun

    Medvedev was bounced.

    *happy-dance*

  13. Tundra

    Hiya Sloop! And good morning to all of You People!

    Sad news about Kobe. Sounds like the pilot was pretty shitty, though.

    That song brings back great memories, but this will always be my favorite of theirs.

    Thanks for the lynx and have a groovy day!

    • straffinrun

      Got a close relative in that band. Their songs held up well over time, didn’t they?

      • Drake

        Time seems to run differently for that band.

      • Tundra

        They did indeed.

        And what a strange band. Two prototypical rock stars and two goofballs.

        This pic always makes me laugh.

      • straffinrun

        Unique mix. Nice pic.

  14. Drake

    SCIENCE!

    A Nobel Prize-winning American scientist who co-discovered DNA has been stripped of his honourary titles after repeating racist comments in a documentary.

    It’s racist to say that the DNA he discovered can determine how smart you are.

    • Count Potato

      “Mr Watson previously told Britain’s Sunday Times newspaper in 2007 that he was “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa” because “all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours, whereas all the testing says not really”.

      The scientist added that while he hoped everyone was equal, “people who have to deal with black employees find this is not true”.”

      I get that he’s 90, but he still shouldn’t have said that.

      • UnCivilServant

        He really shouldn’t be talking to journalists.

        That goes for everybody, really.

      • Drake

        Well sure – that was probably the only sentence in the interview the journalist understood.

      • sloopyinca

        He shouldn’t have said it because you have to treat people as individuals.

      • Jarflax

        He shouldn’t have said it because you have to treat people as individuals.

        This is simultaneously a very libertarian and very authoritarian statement. Interesting.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Should” is not necessarily a command. “He shouldn’t have said it” is an opinion, not a rule being enforced.

      • Mojeaux

        We recently had a discussion in which “should” was parsed according to command or opinion.

      • kinnath

        Shall is a requirement

        Should is a suggestion

      • Jarflax

        you have to

        is a command.

      • UnCivilServant

        Spoken like someone who’s never read an instruction manual.

      • Jarflax

        I think writing an instruction manual for speech or human interaction, or judgment is fairly authoritarian.

      • UnCivilServant

        You don’t get what I’m saying. The manuals are all full of “you have to”s, but you really don’t have to, and can be better off not.

      • Jarflax

        Authoritarians are often wrong. Look, I was just riffing off the juxtaposition of an extremely libertarian sentiment with the phrasing of “shouldn’t say x” and “have to judge y” which are typically authoritarian ways of expressing oneself. I deliberately avoided the trite “Fuck off Slaver” with which people here (including sloopy) usually great any “you have to” phrasing, and it seems to have confused peopel. Let me correct it, please read my initial post as saying “Fuck off Slaver”, that was the joke I was making.

      • Drake

        “Should” scientists treat species and sub-species as individuals when studying evolution, DNA characteristics, adaptation, etc.?

      • Swiss Servator

        He was talking about hiring someone – not doing a zoological study. Sheesh.

      • Drake

        Which was the excuse used because he had done the latter.

      • Rebel Scum

        Still no need for a freakout or revoking acknowledgement of his prior accomplishments.

  15. Raston Bot

    Bolton released his book transcript to the NSC for pre-clearance check. NSC promptly leaked it to the NYT.

    Bolton said Trump wanted dirt on Bidens for aid.

    I assume Bolton will now testify.

    • Drake

      Sure, as long as the Bidens do to.

    • sloopyinca

      Not if they don’t allow for new witnesses.
      Also, looks like it may have been a canary trap, seeing as an NSC official was escorted out of the WH yesterday.

      • Raston Bot

        i’m filing the canary trap under too good to be true. i’m betting on the NYT greatly exaggerating Bolton’s book transcript.

        who was removed yesterday?

        NSC Andrew Peek was removed and is being investigated but that’s from a week ago.

        The NSC has refused to elaborate publicly, though it’s generally seen inside the administration as a past issue that was flagged in his background check, multiple people said.

        these are my favorite takes:

        “A former advisor to the President and the NY Times turned impeachment hearings into a marketing strategy and there are still people wandering around wondering how we ever ended up with Donald Trump,” wrote podcast host Stephen Miller.

        “Just like James Comey, John Bolton is trying to get rich off of a lie- and leak-fueled campaign to overturn the 2016 election results,” wrote The Federalist’s Sean Davis.”I suspect it will work out as well as all of Bolton’s other wars.”

      • sloopyinca

        Trump’s entire defense to Bolton’s claim (if he’s actually making the claim), should be “he was a willing participant in our foreign policy up until he was terminated and now he allegedly has a problem with it? He’s no better than a jilted lover accusing her former partner of rape.”

      • AlexinCT

        The word “falsely” should be added to the accusation. part Sloop. Bolton is your prototypical D.C. swamp rat and prone to feeling butthurt when he doesn’t get his way. I would not treat anything he says seriously.

      • Raston Bot

        it’s a bunch of well-timed garbage by Bolton’s publicists. it will be a best seller.

        but now i guess they’ll have to bring him in to testify that it was just his own presumption.. exactly like Sondland’s bombshell. and Tim Morrison’s bombshell before that. and Yovanovitch’s bombshell before that. repeat ad nauseum.

      • Social Justice is Neither

        I find it hilarious that Bolton’s target market appears to be proggy fiction.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m guessing David Frum wrote a back cover endorsement.

      • The Last American Hero

        #believeallnationalsecurityadvisors

      • Madhatter

        Does it matter what Trump said to Bolton if Trump did not order Bolton or anyone else to pressure Ukraine? Reading the synopsis of Bolton’s manuscript, there do not appear to be any allegations by Bolton that Trump was giving orders only making statements.

        And yep, it’s a Fuck Off Tulpa moment.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t know where these people stand on the issue.

      • PieInTheSky

        Taleb says it is bullshit and does not take into account ergodicity and fat tails (it is all about fat tales) and the simple experiments do not take into account real world situation e.g in the real world you do not get situations with clear probabilities. Thaler and all the behav economists are all about risk aversion as an irrational human bias.

      • peachy rex

        Neither, then. Risk aversion is real, if obviously not universal, and it is frequently rational in the context of an individual’s situation.

    • Pat

      It’s too variable by individual to be broadly extrapolated, like pretty much everything else in behavioral economics. If you want a case study on the topic go play about 100 hours of poker at a local venue.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Right, I was going to say only an ideologically-blinded autist writing for Mises or a trumpeting buffoon like Talleb could look at people playing poker and say there is no such thing as loss aversion.

      • UnCivilServant

        How else would a bluff ever work?

      • Fourscore

        Play ’em like ya got ’em.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I asked myself, “What are those fools fabulous public intellectuals at the Atlantic all het up about, this morning?”

    How silly of me. Impeachment is the most important thing ever, because Public Enemy Number One is engaged in a dastardly attempt to wrest the last vestiges of political power away from those wonderful folks up there in the Capitol. Unless Trump is impeached, the nation will be plunged into authoritarianism and decay. Congress will be a vestigial organ, little more than a club for socialites.

    I saw no mention of Congress’ ongoing abdication of their responsibilities in the name of political expediency.

    Also, socialism is good, and we need more of it. A lot more. Like, the cradle-to-grave version.

    • PieInTheSky

      Maybe people start to like impeachment and then every single president for the nest 30 years is impeached until a new fad comes along.

  17. Rebel Scum

    No ragrets.

    During an interview on Meet the Press, host Chuck Todd asked Schiff if he had “any regrets” about dramatizing Trump’s phone call or for claiming that Trump colluded with the Russians in 2016, despite the Mueller report not finding evidence of criminal conspiracy.

    The California Democrat claimed he did not have regrets about either and pivoted to focus on the findings in the Mueller report. He replied: “I’m glad you asked the question about collusion because, again, [Trump’s attorneys] may be perpetuating the president’s talking points, but they’ve got it exactly wrong. Bob Mueller did not find that there was no collusion. In fact, in the first couple pages of the report, he said we don’t address that issue.” …

    Schiff added: “The relevance of the Mueller report to all this, because we’re not trying the Mueller report, is that this isn’t the first time that [Trump] invited foreign interference. That is the background of the current effort to get a foreign nation to help him cheat in an election.”

    • UnCivilServant

      The man disrespects the sword like that.

    • Raston Bot

      what the shit is that?

    • Pat

      I remember that movie

    • Not Adahn

      I’m pretty sure the reply with Hitler in a Nazi kimono is a shoop, but I guess it’s possible that was something he got as part of the Axis alliance?

    • PieInTheSky

      I wonder what the carbon footprint on those things are. Also are they woke and socialjusticey and unculturalproprpriationy enough for these times?

      • AlexinCT

        Pie as always asking the pertinent questions that the dnc operatives with bylines seem to forget to ask about the Hollywood douchebags.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re all trying really hard.

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    Why did Penis Man lose his job?

    • Just a thought not a sermon

      On my school bus in the fourth grade, a big joke was, “Hey, did you know there’s a joke so funny it’ll make your dick fall off? Oh, I see you’ve already heard it!”

      Maybe that’s what happened to Penis Man.

    • Florida Man

      Because it was vagina woman’s turn?

    • Aloysious

      Penis Man losing his job really blows.

  19. PieInTheSky

    A recent study looking at inequality in Cuba revealed a segregated and highly unequal society: While 50 percent of white Cubans had a banking account, only 11 percent of black Cubans said they had one.

    https://twitter.com/OliverStuenkel/status/1221197922961895424

    • UnCivilServant

      Wait, are they claiming at these are not all ‘hispanic’ or ‘latinx’?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Capitalism’s fault

    • Count Potato

      1. Move to Florida
      2. Shoot a black kid in self-defense
      3. Get labeled “white”
      4. ?????
      5. PROFIT

  20. Rufus the Monocled

    At least Kobe was an AC Milan fan.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Things we already knew but are still amusing slips.

    Sen. Mazie Hirono (D-HI) just let the truth slip out.

    Sometimes Democrats let the truth slip out that this whole impeachment deal is all about the election.

    Hirono is the latest. She let it during an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hirono is a mendacious moron.

    • Raston Bot

      i’m 100% on board for releasing Hawaii from the Union. if they want to be another Puerto Rico, fine, we can do that.

      • Tejicano

        Heck, give them to the Philippines. Let the two of the sort it out.

    • AlexinCT

      The democrats are doing this kabuki dance for the people whom have proven they are to dumb to be allowed to elect their own leaders when they somehow managed to elect orange man instead of the candidate the credentialed elite class running the country thought they had rigged the election in favor off. And the dnc operatives with bylines class is still butthurt and angry that after they spent the prelude to the 2016 election laughing at orange man’s chances of beating the criminal they all wanted to win, and because of that, want their pound of flesh. He managed to show the world they are not just as inept and partisan as everyone with 2 firing neurons already knew, but did so in a brutal way. These poor foools were not even allowed to mourn the fact that they had lost the election they rigged for crooked Hillary, after all!

  22. Rufus the Monocled

    About the comedian and Malia Yapper:

    “…He’s clearly handling it in an even more rude and vulgar way, yapping about it on some talk show using the President’s daughter to get publicity. There’s no such thing as bad press to people like him.”

    Oh. You mean like Barry and his wife who do nothing but went on talk shows WHILE in power and after?

    Betcha you thought it was cool then and love Obama sticking his nose into the matters of a current administration, right?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sure there is. When you’re selling a good which is not a necessity, and which has ample subsititutes on the market, bad publicity hurts the bottom line bigtime.

      • UnCivilServant

        *especially if you’re one of the big players already on the market.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Maybe his shtick and style is better suited to fight the swamp and careerists.

      Bernie is a different cat altogether and demands another strategy?

      Think of it in terms of match ups like in sports.

    • Urthona

      Bernie outflanks Trump. He’s the same on major issues that Trump voters care about and also has issues that leftists care about.

      • R C Dean

        He’s the same on major issues that Trump voters care about

        Immigration: Nope. Bernie has jettisoned his old school “protect our union jobs” approach and is now fully open borders, with welfare benefits.

        Guns: Nope. Bernie is a full-on gun grabber. Trump is a squish, but is savvy enough not to piss of his supporters on this. Much.

        Taxes: Nope.

        Welfare: Nope. Bernie wants massive expansion, Trump seems more a status quo guy.

        Regulatory State: Nope. Bernie wants top-down micromanagement of the economy. Trump has actually made a (very) little progress in the other direction.

  23. PieInTheSky

    Nearly thirty years on in the US, I still feel like a foreginer, as I cannot really connect with certain things American: exploitative health care, the boredom of baseball, the cryptofascism of football, superheroes, Jesus freaks, the staunch belief in redemptive capitalism etc.

    https://twitter.com/SashaHemon/status/1221241050943184896

    America has evolveed beyond the boundaries of an ossified political system. Trump is evidence that American democracy has no capacity to confront and end white supremacy; be more than a support system for rapacious capitalism; to accomodate the realities of American life.

    • UnCivilServant

      It sounds like this guy hasn’t actually been to america, but nestled into a small echo chamber in a major metropolitan area and didn’t interact with much of a cross section of society.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Clearly he hasn’t mastered English yet, because that screed is incomprehensible.

      • Rebel Scum

        You don’t like Buzzword Bingo?

      • UnCivilServant

        Even if you win, you still lose.

    • Pat

      The food is awful, and such small portions!

      Fuck off.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Humans tend to get used to whatever the prevailing culture is. Capitalism has made Americans lonely. Most people’s spirits are broken. We know somethings v v wrong. We need a new story – and for that you need a storyteller. It’s going to have to be Warren or Sanders.

      What a pretentious, arrogant douche. “I’m a writer. Therefore my product is the most important thing, even if it’s nothing but lies.”

      • Rebel Scum

        He is so worried about fascists that he want to elect one.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fascism is great when you’re pulling the strings… until the long knives come out.

    • Just a thought not a sermon

      “America is deeply rotten with racism and capitalism.”

      Yet he had no problem moving here from Serbia and becoming a citizen?

      “exploitative health care, the boredom of baseball, the cryptofascism of football, superheroes, Jesus freaks, the staunch belief in redemptive capitalism”

      Some of these things are trivial. Lots of Americans don’t like baseball or football or superheroes. “staunch belief in redemptive capitalism” is pretty basic to the American identity, I think, though. If you don’t agree that working hard, saving money to build capital, and making your way in a capitalist economy is something worthwhile, this might be the right country for you.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        might NOT be, of course

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And this idiot is from Bosnia. Perhaps he would appreciate the remnants of a communist state with rampant ethnic animosity (the real kind where they put you in mass graves) to the capitalist microaggressions of the USA.

    • Nephilium

      cryptofascism of football

      Say what now?

      • Tundra

        He’s obviously a Derek Lutz fan:

        “Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.”

      • Nephilium

        So does that make chess a crypto-fascist metaphor for war as well?

        /don’t let that guy find out about tabletop miniature games, some of which have nuclear weapons in them.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t justify the point cost for the launcher.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, wait, Deathstrike’s not nuclear, it’s a Vortex missile that just throws all ya’ll into the warp.

      • sloopyinca

        +1 Lou putting one kid through college and one through a wall.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        And is this FIFA or the NFL?

    • Rhywun

      But more than anything else it is the outdated, idiotic two-party system, clearly designed to suppress plurality and favor whiteness,

      LOL

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        One party states are better.

    • Swiss Servator

      “Why are these idiots so rich and free?! Whycome they innovate so much and get imitated culturally, scientifically and militarily across the globe?!””

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The truly sad part is that he’s from an area of the world that has recently experienced actual ethnic cleansing. That he cannot distinguish between that and the mixing pot that is the US is very reflective of his social desire to be accepted among the white proggie set. He’s no more than a herd animal.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      “More
      Replying to @SashaHemon
      Humans tend to get used to whatever the prevailing culture is. Capitalism has made Americans lonely. Most people’s spirits are broken. We know somethings v v wrong. We need a new story – and for that you need a storyteller. It’s going to have to be Warren or Sanders.”

      These people are bloody infuriating.

      So to fix people is to turn to….left-wing politicians? Warren isn’t broken with all her lies? Hello.

      She’s broken in the head.

      • AlexinCT

        All you have to remember is that these people tend to come in a couple of flavors. the most common ones are the ones that are driven by pure envy of what others have and feel they are entitled to the same without any need to do actual work to get it. The second group are the ones that capitalize on this envy to gain (or hide) power and wealth. The first group is easy to understand: it is the product of the “everyone gets a trophy” participation society we got over the last couple of decades. The second group however is evil. A large part of this contingency are the really rich fucks that hope that by mouthing this shit about social justice they can be the last ones eaten by the crocodile while basically fucking over the rubes they look down upon. Then you have the cuntes that use this shit to target the envious masses with promises of causing harm to those that have (but then only those that have and don’t pray to the left’s marxist god) so they can expand the money they steal and the power to steal even more of the productive’s money.

        Fucking evil shit man.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        The first group is easy to understand: it is the product of the “everyone gets a trophy” participation society we got over the last couple of decades.

        The ascendancy of this group happened a hundred years before participation trophy culture. The trophies are an effect, and a century long devaluation of hard work and meritocracy is the cause.

      • AlexinCT

        Maybe you are right, but this phenom started when people decided to challenge the whole merit based culture. Especially the people that felt it was not fair that those that made different choices than they did – choices that usually involved a shit-ton of work and a serious postponement of gratification – didn’t deserve more than they did. In the past, voicing this shit belief would have resulted in scorn. It was then normalized by the peddlers of marxism, whom wanted to pillage the productive. after all, doing hard work simply is a fool’s errant.

      • Jarflax

        The French Revolution disputes your timeline. Plato’s Republic disputes your timeline. Hell, Cain and Abel disputes your timeline. The envious have been with us always.

      • AlexinCT

        I was referring to people in this country Jarflax. I am well aware this phenom was global a long time ago, but America was great country precisely because it was set up as a meritocracy and people came here to chase that dream for the longest time. We truly were something unique/different. Then the fucking marxist undermined and destroyed that by taking over education and filling the kid’s heads with the usual bullshit trope that evil religion peddles.

    • Raston Bot

      p.s. parking was ample

    • Rebel Scum

      There will be no correction brought about by the elections because America is deeply rotten with racism and capitalism.

      You irredeemable, deplorable bastards.

      It seems to me that for any substantial change, Americans would have to abandon, or at least have a deeply critical look, at the insidious mythology of American greatness. This ain’t that great. It’s is okay not to be the greatest. It is okay to be just good.

      Feel free to leave.

      I would like to thank all the trumpist trolls and international bigots who swarmed to tell me to leave if I didn’t like it here—you prove my point.
      Also, do try expand your vocabulary. It is rather pathetic right now, as if you all learned to read listening to Rush Limbaugh.

      It’s like you learned about America from Ana Kasparian.

      • UnCivilServant

        But she’s better than us, didn’t you hear?

      • Rebel Scum

        One thing I can give her is that she is hot af. But she is such. a. cunte.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Also, do try expand your vocabulary. It is rather pathetic right now, as if you all learned to read listening to Rush Limbaugh.

        *chuckle* I don’t agree with Rush on a lot, but Limbaugh would obliterate that guy in a debate. Hannity, on the other hand…

      • AlexinCT

        I had seen this, but decided not to post because it sounded too realistic and I could then end up with egg on my face if I had called it satire…

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh come on, there’s no way CNN is worth billions.

        Maybe $0.75, but not $12billion

      • AlexinCT

        The Bee certainly is worth that much to me…

    • Drake

      CNN Unveils New Format Where Hosts Just Watch Fox News And Yell At It

      I would be tempted to watch that.

      • UnCivilServant

        Isn’t that already a youtube genre?

    • Rebel Scum

      Classic.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Not about the money

    At this rate, Christine Melendez isn’t sure how long she’ll be able to keep teaching.
    In the past seven years, she’s already taught in three different school districts.
    “That should tell you something about the conditions,” the 30-year-old high school Spanish teacher said.

    So on Monday, Melendez and 1,000 other frustrated educators plan to rally at Virginia’s state capitol, demanding higher raises and more funding per student.

    ——-

    This fight focuses on two demands: raising teachers’ salaries to at least the national average, and restoring per-student funding to at least the same level as before the recession a decade ago.
    “Per-student spending is down 8% since the recession, in inflation-adjusted dollars,” Virginia Education Association spokesman John O’Neil said.
    And the average Virginia teacher’s salary — $51,994 — is almost $8,500 less than the national average of $60,477, O’Neil said.
    Melendez, a seventh-year teacher, takes home about $2,600 a month. Subtract her rent, bills, student loans and living expenses, and “I don’t have savings,” she said.

    ——-

    Many are using a personal day, meaning substitutes are filling in for them in their classrooms. Some school districts have a professional development day scheduled for Monday, meaning students aren’t in school anyway.

    Fucking math- how does it work? Maybe you might want to examine your spending priorities, there, babe.

    And, of course, “some school districts” are giving their explicit support for this bullshit, for the children.

    And- most importantly: Would Not. Take that fish hook out of your nose, Stinky.

    • WTF

      Spending on education in inflation-adjusted dollars has approximately tripled since the 1970s, with no change in academic achievement. Teacher salaries and classroom size are predictors of academic achievement. The best predictor of academic achievement is parental engagement. If you don’t like your pay scale, then do something else that pays more.

      • WTF

        Teacher salaries and classroom size are NOT predictors

      • AlexinCT

        Spending on education in inflation-adjusted dollars has approximately tripled since the 1970s, with no change in academic achievement.

        i question your assertion that there was no change, WTF. From my own take on the numbers, spending tripped while performance dropped drastically. These institutions now seem to exist to produce morons that believe marxist drivel and lack any ability to think seriously. Shit, they are claiming grading is evil, science (the real shit, not the crap that passes for this these days) & math are patriarchy, and that U.S. History needs to be rewritten because it was all white men all the time.

    • Raston Bot

      there’s a bill introduced by the socialist (no shit, a legit socialist) Lee J. Carter to exempt teachers from the “no strike” law for public employees in Virginia.

      bonus: the socialist Lee J. Carter has made some terrible decisions his whole life and is “near broke” according to him. his gig now is driving for Uber. people elected him in Virginia to make policy decisions.. an avowed leftist. and those same people will be surprised when the unemployment rate increases and taxes go up.

      https://twitter.com/carterforva?lang=en

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Severing the DC suburbs from Virginia would fix most of our political problems.

      • Raston Bot

        i’d be ecstatic if they just jettisoned Alexandria City, Arlington and Fairfax Counties. Lee J. Carter represents Manassas Park which is on the outskirts of the burbs and bares little resemblance to the aforementioned progtopias which are all wealthy as shit. but it won’t happen unless the GOP allowed DC to have voting representatives in Congress.

      • Rebel Scum

        Ask me about Socialism.

        In what way is it compatible with or allowed by the Constitution?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Nearly thirty years on in the US, I still feel like a foreginer, as I cannot really connect with certain things American: exploitative health care, the boredom of baseball, the cryptofascism of football, superheroes, Jesus freaks, the staunch belief in redemptive capitalism etc.

    Is somebody holding you captive? There are hundreds of flights out every goddam day.

    • AlexinCT

      “I want to turn your country into the shitty one I escaped!”

      • SugarFree

        Just a forearm, but Baby Yoda has Dwight Schrute’s haircut for some reason.

  26. Pat

    DOJ and state AGs may combine their Google investigations

    The Justice Department and state attorneys general might combine forces in their bid to investigate Google. Wall Street Journal tipsters claim the two sides plan to meet next week to share investigative info in a move that could lead to the two collaborating on their Google probes. It’s just the start of a “periodic dialogue,” the WSJ said, but it could blossom into more. The feds and states haven’t shared info on Google before, the sources said, making a meeting significant by itself.

    The parties involved have either declined to comment or haven’t responded.

  27. PieInTheSky

    Maine’s Arabic-speaking barbers struggle with licensing exams not offered in their language.

    https://twitter.com/PressHerald/status/1221511065772740608

    Should

    a) Arab barbers go back to where they came from

    b) Arab barbers should learn English

    c) The test should be translated in their language

    d) There should be no licensing for barbers

    3) all of the above

    • PieInTheSky

      Funny story: a cousins wife told me there should be much more strict licensing in general because when she was a freshman in highschool the hairdresser messed up her haircut before the freshman ball (a thing in Romanian highschools) and she was literally traumatized at the time at not having the hairdo she wanted. It is very hard to reason with people.

      • Pat

        In a true libertarian society she would have sued the barber in a favorable private court, obtained an unenforceable judgment, and spent the rest of her life in a blood feud with the barber.

      • AlexinCT

        Now we are talking!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Is English required to point at a picture in a book and imitate it?

      • AlexinCT

        What if you are a dude that identifies as a chick, and you want your mangina waxed by some woman that has the skeeves because of your request she do that, and refuses?

    • Tundra

      My barber told me the process of becoming a Master Barber is something like 1500 hours of school and then 1500 apprentice hours.

      To cut hair.

      So the answer to your question is d). Although learning english will probably help their business.

    • UnCivilServant

      a) From the beards, there is a shortage of good barbers in the arabic speaking world.

      b) English is a useful language in many corners of the globe.

      c) No, this is a makework program.

      d) Occupational licensing is a scam.

      • commodious spittoon

        If they’re going to enforce these protectionist rackets licensing laws, they should translate and proctor the exams in Arabic and whatever other language arises. Keep exams for citizenship or voting or whatever in English, but occupational licensing shouldn’t be a test of civic fitness.

    • R C Dean

      (a) Nah.

      (b) Yes, for simple reasons of good business.

      (c) No. All government and other legal business should be done only in English. There’s a longer argument to be made here, possibly in the Glib debate format.

      (d) Yes.

  28. Drake

    More Science!

    Prince Charles Flew 16,000 Miles In Just 11 Days On Three Private Jets And A Helicopter Before Photo Op With Climate Alarmist Greta Thunberg in Switzerland

    He could have just taken the Greta-mobile.

    • UnCivilServant

      So, you’re saying the wrong helicopter hit the mountains?

      • PieInTheSky

        In this case yes

  29. Rebel Scum

    NBA fans are grieving today over the death of Kobe Bryant, one of his daughters, and several other people on a helicopter that should have never taken off.

    On the plus side his popularity has exploded.

    No, it’s ok. I’ll see myself out.

    • Sean

      *golf clap*

    • Pat

      There’s a first time for everything: Kobe Bryant has passed.

  30. Chipping Pioneer

    Good old Patrice Breeze-by, because that’s what forwards did to him.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I don’t think anyone got the reference.

      If there was one player no one could figure out how he made it to the NHL, he’s the one. A real head scratcher.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        About half of the Oilers’roster last season.

        /Oilers fan

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Better that error than saying stupid puerile shit like ‘living wage!’

    • UnCivilServant

      What? You’ve never played field basketball? It’s hardcore, with broken glass, sharp stones and discarded needles hiding among the grass. Fouls are only called when you shiv another player or pull a gun.

      • Raston Bot

        https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/didnt-answer-the-second-part-of-my-question-buttigieg-grilled-by-anti-abortion-democrat

        he’s a bit more diplomatic. but it would be great if he extended that reasoning to every other aspect of an individual’s choices. i mean it’s not like we’re killing unborn babies in any other decision.

        “I’ve never encountered a politician or frankly another person that I agreed with 100% of the time, even on very important things,” Buttigieg said. “I cannot imagine that a decision that a woman confronts is going to ever be better medically or morally because it’s being dictated by any government official. And that’s just where I am on the issue.”

      • robc

        If he applied that answer to every other issue, he would be a better LP candidate than whoever the LP runs.

      • Raston Bot

        How can he reach that conclusion on abortion where you are legitimately killing an unborn human and not reach it on something wholly inconsequential like employment law?

    • robc

      How does a Hoosier screw that up?

  31. Certified Public Asshat

    Why loan forgiveness does not fix stupid

    Long story short I have a 2018 Kia Stinger GT that I really enjoy but don’t think it’s worth the $600 a month that I’m paying for the financing, I just don’t drive it enough and get very nervous even thinking about daily driving it into Manhattan. I’m looking to lower my monthly cost and get into something still fun to daily drive.

    I’ve been looking at the used market for the BMW 440i coupe or grand coupe, hoping to stay under $28,000. It has good reviews and 320hp to boot.

    My concern here comes down to two things. 1: The BMW warranty and 2: Selling my Stinger.

    Looks like a trade-in for my Stinger COULD net something like $24-28K, according to Edmunds. It’s very clean and only has 14,000 miles on it. However, I still owe $27,000 on it so I would want to make sure I at least break even. Hoping a dealer can match that.

    I’d like to bring my monthly cost for the car down to even $350. As much as I love the Stinger, I’m not driving it enough to justify that high monthly cost when a 440i could give me the same driving fun for much less monthly.

    Save money by buying an older BMW, lol.

    • Sean

      *facepalm*

      That’s a real sharp individual there.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He’ll be looking for a federal bailout at some point.

    • UnCivilServant

      Soooo… never looked into the cost of maintaining german cars, did you?

    • Pat

      This person has to work in a government accounting role.

    • Tundra

      The advice was actually pretty good. I liked this:

      Going to a cheaper car might be smart, but something tells me you aren’t going to be happy with something that costs under $19,000.

      • AlexinCT

        HE IS ENTITLED TO A COOL CAR, YOU PHILISTINE!

      • UnCivilServant

        He’ll have a Lada* and like it!

        *after party approval and ten to twenty year wait.

      • AlexinCT

        As long as everyone else is fucked over that way, and his neighbor has to go through the same shit & pain, I bet he will be fine with that happening…

      • Certified Public Asshat

        “Get an Accord with a V6” is not the advice he is looking for.

      • UnCivilServant

        V8, and coast from gas station to gas station on pure momentum when your tank dries up.

  32. Chipping Pioneer

    Has anyone seen any IRGs around SoCal lately?

    • UnCivilServant

      Iranian Revolutionary Guards?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        And they were handing out Nan-E Gerdui!

        *Iranian cookies are delicious.

      • Swiss Servator

        *quickly looks from side to side*

        I used to get packs of the best Iranian cookies in NE Afghanistan. They were “The Forbidden Cookies”. I would scarf down half of them, then share the rest.

  33. Chipping Pioneer

    Welp, I may take some flak for this, but, the celebrity worship for Kobe is way over the top, IMHO. A great basketball player, a shitty human being. There, I said it.

    • AlexinCT

      Concur.

    • Rhywun

      I know literally nothing about him but yes, it seems over-the-top.

      • Count Potato

        Just wait until Obama dies.

      • UnCivilServant

        Ugh, I hope the old media has finally finished dying before then.

      • kinnath

        Can’t happen soon enough

      • Shirley Knott

        I don’t know, lingering and painful seems more appropriate.
        I’m not willing to torture him to death, but if doG wants to give it a shot, that’s fine.

      • Gadfly

        Disagree. It would be better for him to live a long life, so long in fact that he outlives his fans and dies in obscurity.

      • Pat

        tl;dr he was accused of rape, first denied it, then said it was consensual rough sex, beat the rap after his fans drove the accuser and her family underground with death threats, and bought his wife a big diamond to make up for it.

      • Swiss Servator

        That, and the rape kit showed two other guys’, not his DNA…

      • Pat

        He conceded he had sex with her though, so I’m not sure how dispositive that would be. You can wrap the willy and still push the bounds of consent.

        His defense for leaving bruises all over her neck was that he’s into choking and also choked one of the other women he was screwing around on his wife with. Dude wasn’t exactly a class act.

      • Urthona

        He was a creep.

    • Rebel Scum

      celebrity worship for Kobe is way over the top

      Indeed.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I had completely forgotten the NBA had even started the season until yesterday.

    • sloopyinca

      I’d agree with that. At least as it applied to his younger years in the NBA. He seems to have matured as a human being as he got older and pretty much spent his time enriching his kids lives.
      Remember, he came into the league 4-5 years younger than most people of his generation did. And people that age tend to be less responsible than those with more life experience that are making a boatload of money.

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        Roman Polanski was an Artist……

      • Mojeaux

        He seems to have matured as a human being as he got older and pretty much spent his time enriching his kids lives.

        Can’t say that about Roman Polanski.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, if you torture the definition of “Enrichment”…

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Scorched earth, coming

    Everything we know about Trump’s behavior suggests that he will view acquittal as vindication of his strongman tactics. Foreign actors: Get ready to be asked for political favors. And if Trump wins reelection in November, Democrats will have few means left to restrain him, having already exhausted their most powerful check on presidential power. Only the slow-moving judicial system would stand in his way.

    Trump’s defense could set a precedent that abuse of power isn’t enough to impeach a president, without an actual crime. And the Oval Office will emerge more powerful because his acquittal will enshrine the principle that a commander-in-chief can simply refuse Congress’s demands for evidence, drastically weakening lawmakers’ checks and balances role. Future Presidents may conclude that there is no price for brazen flexing of unaccountable power — as long as they have the loyalty of sufficient senators.

    Yes, yes, the President will view a win as a win, and he’ll run with it. Next thing you know, he’ll be shutting down the Department of Education and selling Yosemite to the Russians for a military training base.

    • Tundra

      And for what it is worth, history may view them as defending the Constitution.

      Only if history is retarded.

      • AlexinCT

        It’s more like the people wanting history to do this are the retards…

    • Rebel Scum

      his strongman tactics

      You know, like a dictator. ///Nadless

      a precedent that abuse of power isn’t enough to impeach a president

      They can’t name even one thing he did that is outside his authority.

      drastically weakening lawmakers’ checks and balances role

      The branches stonewalling each other is part of checks and balances. And the executive is not subject to the whims of the House.

    • Gadfly

      Trump’s defense could set a precedent that abuse of power isn’t enough to impeach a president, without an actual crime.

      Dozens of presidents who preceded Trump have already set this president. Some of them even enjoy a place on our currency.

  35. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Just got a notice from the Associated General Contractors of Virginia.

    Apparently the state Dems are attempting to push through a prevailing wages clause on all state construction projects, as opposed to only ones with federal funds involved.

    They seem hellbent on losing in November.

    • Sean

      They have faith in their ability to find boxes of extra ballots in their trunks.

    • Raston Bot

      bond ratings will drop. taxpayers will pay more to borrow.

      “WE DIDN’T INTEND FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!”

    • Raston Bot

      they’re also pushing through a repeal of the state voter ID law.

      there’s a big leftist push across the board. not just 2A.

      • Rebel Scum

        ^

        There is also a bill that will criminalize “derogatory” language directed at elected officials. They seem to hate 1A as much as any others. But Republicans are the fascists.

      • Raston Bot

        i saw some stirrings about that. no way it would hold up in court if they ever tried to prosecute with it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’d like to think so but it was only a couple of days ago that someone plead guilty to similar speech infringements.

    • Idle Hands

      This is the consequences of Dems running unopposed and the Republicans totally abandon the state. Dems have no problem having the electorate choke down their policies good and hard the second they can. I can’t remember a time the Republicans ever in my entire life have ever done anything even approximating following through on the things they’ve been elected to do without throwing a fit about it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They like to deliver a concession speech good and hard.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yes

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Long story short I have a 2018 Kia Stinger GT that I really enjoy but don’t think it’s worth the $600 a month that I’m paying for the financing, I just don’t drive it enough and get very nervous even thinking about daily driving it into Manhattan. I’m looking to lower my monthly cost and get into something still fun to daily drive.

    Is this person an econ major from UC Berkeley?

    • Bob the Gravatar Hater

      I love Kias, but 600$ a month? hard pass…..

      • UnCivilServant

        What’s the MRSP that nets that? I’m only paying $360/mo.

      • AlexinCT

        This is what I thought as well… There is a lot more to this story we are not getting from this douchebag.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I’m going to start with assuming he bought new.

        A 2020 Kia Stinger GT MSRP is $40k, with about $500/mo on a 66 mo loan.

        So he got one with some heaps of options, since I doubt he shortened his loan period.

      • Sensei

        Or was underwater on his previous trade.

      • UnCivilServant

        I- I hadn’t thought of that. But then again, I’m not one to willingly trade in a functioning car.

      • Sensei

        There are numerous stories of folks trading in car after car and paying huge amounts for junk.

        Some of that is greed and stupidity and others are simply caught in a viscous cycle where they need a functional car and their beaters give up the ghost and used car dealers pray on them in a time of need.

      • Tundra

        A sticky issue, to be sure.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, very thick.

      • kinnath

        31K for 5 years at 6% gets you right at 600 a month.

      • Tundra

        And that’s right at the base Stinger pricing.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Guessing he paid at least $40k for the Stinger. It is a nice car, but probably suffers from the unfair “It’s a Kia” stigma, especially amongst the fancy people of Manhattan that this guy is trying to impress.

      • UnCivilServant

        the unfair “It’s a Kia” stigma

        This is why american automakers have multiple names under which to sell, to separate the high end from the low end.

      • kinnath

        Not just americans. See Lexus, Acura, Infinity.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Or to separate dumb and narcissistic people from their money.

        When I was in the market for my first car after graduating, I looked at, among others, the Honda Civic and the Acura 1.6. Same car, except the Acura had a leather-wrapped steering wheel. And was $6K more.

      • UnCivilServant

        $5 for the leather, $5,995 for the badge

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s not helping him get laid.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        True. The ladies probably just assume he has a Korean – sized penis.

      • Bob the Gravatar Hater

        600$ for a Kia? that’s dumb.

  37. Count Potato

    “Washington Post reporter @feliciasonmez deleted her crass tweets about Kobe Bryant. But screen grabs are forever – and I took some before she deleted the tweets.

    Bye, Felicia.”

    https://twitter.com/MatthewKeysLive/status/1221580953128062977

    “UPDATE: A person who works at the Washington Post says @feliciasonmez was NOT suspended for linking to the Daily Beast story on Twitter. Her suspension was related to a follow up tweet that contained a screen shot of her work email inbox, which revealed full names of emailers.”

    https://twitter.com/MatthewKeysLive/status/1221580953128062977

    • CPRM

      Where are the ‘crass tweets’?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      While I’m not going to take part in the adulation, it’s somewhat in poor taste to bring it up the day after the death. Best just to keep your mouth Twatter shut.

      • Pat

        Meh. It’s justified on the grounds of taking the piss out of the lemmings if nothing else. Same shit that happened when Michael Jackson died.

    • Drake

      Listening to Don Immus talk about the Kobe “rape-case” one morning… Scott Ferrall is defending Kobe. Immus asks him how he explains the vaginal trauma of the alleged victim. Ferrall’s answer: Giant Black Penis.

  38. Q Continuum

    “Falcon, known as “Stink” by her friends”

    Always an excellent nickname for a prostitute.

  39. CPRM

    Well, I’m not too great at interviews, but I’m off to give it the old college try!

    • Mojeaux

      Good luck!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good luck

      Remember to unzip your fly before going in.

      • Not Adahn

        It helps establish dominance.

    • Gender Traitor

      Rock it!

    • Rhywun

      Knock ’em dead.

    • Tundra

      No f-bombs, and females in the office should never be referred to as ‘sugar-tits’.

      Good luck!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This man is speaking from experience, obviously

      • Tundra

        In hindsight, three hours in the bar prior to an interview was probably a poor decision.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    I was thinking of you yesterday, Q. Some old cowboy movie was on my teevee, with an actress whose name I did not catch.

    I’m sure it was purely accidental, but there were several scenes in which the camera was placed slightly behind, and off to the side, of this actress, which served to make obvious the (rather prodigious) size and protuberance of her bosoms. As I said, it was undoubtedly accidental, and in no way intended to draw one’s eye to them.

    • Q Continuum

      TOKSIK MASKYOOLINITEE

  41. Mojeaux

    So question: On a purely feelz basis (because it can never be objective), at what point does a former alleged rapist or wife beater in sportsball or Hollyweird, who never indulges in this behavior again and goes on to do good works, have his scarlet A turned from “adulterer” to “angel”?

    1. You do the thing
    2. Nobody knows if you have done the thing before, but the press can’t dig anything up
    3. You never do the thing again
    4. Meantime, you use your connections and money to help others?

    • R C Dean

      Ordinarily, I would say at the point where you have provided sufficient public and financial support to the wokesters. Wokism is a grift, intended to deliver money and power to its adherents.

      Not sure how that plays with Bryant, though.

      • Mojeaux

        No, I meant for you personally.

      • R C Dean

        Ah, got it. Hard to come up with any hard and fast rules. Much depends on what the thing is, for starters. Drugging and anally raping a (young) teenager, for example, v. rough sex with someone who can be fairly categorized as a willing groupie.

        The former? Probably not going to ever get past it. The latter? Eh, you go to an NBA player’s (or Harvey Weinstein’s ) hotel room after hours, well, my presumption is you knew what you were getting into. I struggle with “he said/she said” in situations as potentially murky as that.

        With that in mind, honestly, the usual honest contrition followed by good behavior is the bare minimum I would look for. People I don’t know personally, its really hard to judge whether its heartfelt or a cynical play to repair their brand. I don’t trust, or not trust, people whose actions I don’t need to rely on. If I do need to rely on you, though, trust, once broken, is difficult to impossible to restore.

        Frankly, celebrities take up so little of my mental space that I frankly don’t care (beyond the extent that the display or contribute to cultural rot).

    • UnCivilServant

      In my opinion, there are acts which prevent someone from ever being an angel of a person. Redemption is possible, as is reformation. But you’ve always got that act on your accounts.

      • Mojeaux

        But you’ve always got that act on your accounts.

        Yes, but I’m not talking about oneself. In the story, nobody could remember what Hester Prynne actually did, even when pressed.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t recall that being in the book, but mind you I hated reading that book. It didn’t help that the bookbinding fumes gave me a headache every time I opened it.

        Anyway, I’m not talking about oneself either. I have no great misdeeds, only little acts of misanthropy.

        Besides, true redemption is internal, and the opinion of others is of no import – which is why I keep good deeds private as well.

        As for reforming of a very public misdeed, I would have to say that it’s not going to be predicated on what the person themselves does or does not do. It is all the madness of mobs that controls whether someone is known for their misdeeds, or those misdeeds are ignored.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      My bible tells me I don’t need to worry about the the repentance of people I am not personally very close to. So I don’t worry about people I am not personally very close to.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        But then again, I’m goofy, and I don’t valorize people just because they can intuitively trace parabolas in 3D space or because of their ability to arrange and perform music, etc.

      • Mojeaux

        Good point. So for instance, do you continue to patronize that person’s work, assuming you did before The Big Reveal?

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Sure. I consume art because I like the art, not the artist (sports/sportsman).

        I’ll valorize someone who is worthy of valor.

        On a few rare occasions, they intersect. But that’s not necessary or sufficient for anything.

        One of my favorite football players to watch (Aaron Smith) happened to be worthy of valor, if any of his stories from childhood are to be believed. One of my other favorite football players to watch (Ben) was likely a serial rapist. Neither fact really affects me watching them play.

      • mock-star

        Aaron Smith – One of the best 3-4 DEs or THE best 3-4 DE?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        So I don’t worry about people I am not personally very close to.

        This is easier said than done, but it’s so nice once you achieve it (in part or in full).

        It works in politics, in mainstream culture, on the local news, and even in my local community.

        The good old philosophy of MYOFB.

      • R C Dean

        So I don’t worry about people I am not personally very close to.

        Pretty much the same, here, although to me its not “personal closeness” as “do I need to rely on them/do they actually affect my life”.

        I can’t think of a single celebrity who does, so I don’t much care. My working default that a lot of them are pretty much moral degenerates anyway, but, no skin off my nose. The ones who don’t seem to be are a pleasant surprise.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        I only really care about the morality of a small subset of people I rely on. Myself, my nuclear family, my church, and my scouts. The last two are groups of people who have entered an explicit social arrangement to which we are pledging our moral selves to each other.

        I care about the *ethics* of people I work with and otherwise interact with. I am very worried about whether or not my business partners would like or hide money, but I don’t care if they do it because of their fluffy-white love of humanity, or because their mercenary calculations have shown them that its the most profitable way to operate.

        For people that don’t have an impact on my life, I don’t really care.

      • R C Dean

        I care about the *ethics* of people I work with and otherwise interact with.

        I have never been very comfortable with the idea that someone can be both immoral and ethical. Its theoretically possible, I suppose, but I don’t think people are wired that way.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Rather than immoral, they may hold a foreign morality. IOW, I don’t care whether you keep your word because you are afraid of the abrahamic God or because you are afraid of being reincarnated as a weevil, I only care that you keep your word.

      • R C Dean

        Rather than immoral, they may hold a foreign morality.

        I measure morality against my standards. If your culture says trading slaves, buttfucking 13 year old boys, and capturing women from other religions to rape is totes OK, then you are immoral in my book.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        The human population is always going to have maniacs, liars, killers, and lawyers. Its better that they operate with ethical constraints (“no women, no children”) than without. But I expect most people are a mix of moral-in-some-ways / immoral-in-some-ways.

        I don’t think there are enough completely moral people in the world that I could only deal with them and not the immoral. And even if there are, I’d be spending all my time on purity tests instead of going about my life.

        So a proven track record of ethics is a good-enough second-best way to live. At least for me.

      • Jarflax

        I don’t think there are enough completely moral people in the world that I could only deal with them and not the immoral.

        Christ, the Buddha, yep, short list.

      • R C Dean

        So a proven track record of ethics is a good-enough second-best way to live.

        I suspect that’s the way I operate, as well. Morality tends to be private, business ethics more visible in the business world.

        Take the classic “cheated on his/her spouse”. When that is known, it colors my perception of a person. I will tend to be somewhat cautious about trusting them in business, seeing as they have shown a propensity for deception and subterfuge. But, you never, ever know the real story about what’s going on inside someone’s marriage, so I wouldn’t write them off for it.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        The cheated on a spouse example is a great one. It’s an act that sits at the nexus of morality (self-deprivation) and ethics (adherence to a promise).

        It shows how morality and ethics can’t be completely divorced from one another.

    • RAHeinlein

      Good question. For me, #3 is an absolute necessity. From a feelz perspective, I need to believe that the person is honestly remorseful and has changed. The “angel” concept is then based-on other actions (helping others isn’t a requirement from my perspective).

      From a Kobe perspective – sad death for someone young, nearly 100% that he was a rapist and #3 is true. Honestly remorseful and changed – likely; “angel” – no way.

    • Drake

      In my cynical mind the alleged part is key. Men are idiots when they are young and take crazy risks. For a young multi-millionaire, crazy risks include getting married at all, even with an iron-clad pre-nup. Banging strange women in Denver also applies. Of course he was accused of being a wife-beater in a divorce case worth hundreds of millions. Of course he was accused of rape by some girl with no money. A jury had reasonable doubts. But it’s almost irrelevant whether or not he really did it – he was going to be accused either way.

      Wiser, older men like Kobe became, don’t take those kinds of risks where he can be extorted based on an accusation. That Pence rule isn’t just for devout Christians.

      • Raston Bot

        oops. i will put this down there..

    • creech

      I’m reminded of an old “Tank McNamara” comic which went something like this: Tank: Future Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt of the Phillies just announced his retirement.
      Editor: Was he involved in drugs, sex scandals, cheating? Tank: No, nothing like that. He was a credit to the game. Editor: Page 43.

    • Pat

      It’s not like the offense was committed against me personally, so in that sense I don’t really care, I just dislike the hagiographies and excuse making just because the person was famous. The severity of the (real or alleged) crime plays a role as well. Got busted having an affair? OK, that’s scummy, but that’s between you and your spouse. The public will probably forgive you because it’s a common moral failing and of little consequence to society at large. Got accused on multiple occasions of screwing little kids and beat the rap? That’s pretty suspicious, and at least puts an asterisk on anything else you’ve done with your life. Went to trial for murdering your ex wife with a mountain of evidence pointing to your guilt and got exonerated in a kangaroo court live on cable TV? Yeah, you ain’t living that one down.

    • KSuellington

      As far as I am concerned he was not guilty of any crime. It ended the day the trial ended.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    3. You never do the thing again

    Or become better at hiding your tracks.

    • Mojeaux

      That’s a possibility, one I thought of, but was trying to stay true to the story.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Right. When i buy plastic sheeting, duct tape, and rope at home depot, I also buy some paint and rollers to cover my tracks.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        which is ironic, because if I was actually painting, the plastic sheeting would be to cover my tracks and keep them from getting paint on the carpet.

    • R C Dean

      Did drugs fall . . . eh, never mind. We need a new meme, anyway.

      • Swiss Servator

        We will call Lou Reed or the Cleveland Browns for help.

    • creech

      Checks calendar. Nope, it isn’t April 1 so these reports must be true.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Rise up. Speak out.

    More than 340 Amazon employees are protesting the company’s external communications policy.

    The employees signed onto a Medium post published Sunday by advocacy group Amazon Employees for Climate Justice. It includes signatures and quotes from Amazon employees, all of whom are named, across several divisions of the company.

    By participating in the post, the employees are all defying Amazon’s external communications policy, which forbids employees from speaking about the company’s business without approval from management.

    “Amazon participates in the global economy, where it has a substantial impact on many issues,” Michael Sokolov, a principal engineer at Amazon, said in the post. “Expecting its employees to maintain silence on these issues, and Amazon’s impact on them, is really a reprehensible overreach, and I am proud to take this opportunity to demonstrate my unwillingness to comply.”

    The fleas are taking over the circus. Such brave.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Smh. From what I’ve gleaned from the outside, Amazon’s corporate culture is cutthroat and customer focused. Good job being a nail that sticks up, challenging official company policy, and bringOmg negative attention to the company. Enjoy your next two performance reviews followed by summary termination, if you make it that far.

    • R C Dean

      Easily solved.

      Fire them all. I can’t imagine any of them can’t be easily replaced with no negative impact on Amazon’s functioning. In fact, getting people in with better judgment will probably help Amazon, and these people have all displayed bad judgment.

      • Rhywun

        Yep. They explicitly broke whatever agreement they signed as a condition of employment. And it sounds like multiple times, which typically leads to termination.

  44. Rebel Scum

    And who is going to pay for this?

    Senate Bill 232 applies to schools that educate fifth-to-12th graders. According to the Virginia Department of Education, this encompasses 132 school districts and almost over 630,000 female students.

    “I would like to see that the supplies are available, just like other supplies that we keep in the bathroom,” said Sen. Jennifer Boysko, D-Fairfax, the legislation’s chief patron.

    An earlier version of the bill applied the stipulation to the aforementioned schools where at least 40% of students qualified for free or reduced lunch.

    Boysko introduced the bill to make it more convenient for students to access menstrual products and help them avoid accidents.

    “This is a necessity and girls can’t carry out their school day without it,” Boysko said. “Some girls are missing school time and end up going home and missing classes because of these kinds of challenges.”

    Seems like the responsibility of the parents.

    • Pat

      Presumably there were no menstruating schoolgirls between 1789 and 2019 when this dire situation arose.

      • RAHeinlein

        Menstrual pads were available when I was a student and most public bathrooms had a dispenser.

    • Fourscore

      “Senate Bill 232 applies to schools that educate fifth-to-12th graders”

      Since none of the schools are educating anyone there is no reason not to vote for it. No child left behind, rather all children left behind.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    The protest was intended to show support for two Amazon employees who the company threatened to terminate for publicly criticizing its climate policies. Maren Costa, a user experience designer, and Jamie Kowalski, a software development engineer, were warned that doing so was in violation of Amazon’s external communications policy.

    Why do I assume there is more to this story?

    Earlier this month, Costa and Emily Cunningham, another user experience designer, appeared in a video from Senator Bernie Sanders, which took a swipe at CEO Jeff Bezos’ climate policies.

    Political activism on company time, on the company dime, maybe?

    I can’t help noticing none of these people are saying, “I quit.”

    • R C Dean

      I can’t help noticing none of these people are saying, “I quit.”

      Because they cannot imagine anything other than forcing others to comply.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s owed to them

  46. Rebel Scum

    Something something proper role of government.

    Del. Barry Knight, R-Virginia Beach, introduced House Bill 119, which defines milk as the lacteal secretion “obtained by the complete milking of a healthy hooved animal.” The bill prohibits plant-based milk alternative products from marketing their products as milk. Knight, a pig farmer, said agriculture is the largest private industry in Virginia, and the state government has to protect it. The bill reported out of the Agriculture, Chesapeake and Natural Resources committee Wednesday, and heads to the House floor.

    Virginia produced about 1.6 billion pounds of dairy milk in 2018, and the number of permits issued to dairy farmers is on the decline, according to the Virginia Farm Bureau.

    “We’re losing about one dairy farm a week in the state of Virginia, and farmers are struggling hard,” Knight said. “I thought, ‘well, maybe these plant-based fluids are capitalizing on the good name of milk.’”

    As is the case with the North Carolina law, HB 119 was amended to say that 11 states need to pass similar legislation for the law to go into effect. …

    “We view these bills as a solution in search of a problem,” Robbins said. “There is no consumer confusion on plant-based dairy alternatives versus dairy coming from a hooved animal. Consumers know exactly what they’re purchasing.”

    I deliberately purchase almond milk because I am slightly lactose intolerant. So fuck off with this nonsense.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      This is the kind of shit that gets me on board with HM’s rural welfare queens trope. Maybe the dairy farms are disappearing because they’re plowing up acre after acre to put up dozens of rows of the boringest little townhomes 40 miles out from DC.

      • Raston Bot

        i can’t post worth shit today.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    We need a new meme, anyway.

    How is Francisco Franco doing, these days?

  48. UnCivilServant

    How much would a chariot “made mostly of wickerwork and leather” made for one and a half people* probably weigh?

    * it’s a fantasy setting, the driver is from a species half the mass of humans. The human does the shooting and dismount fighting.

    • robc

      He concluded that a typical Roman vehicle weighed about 25-30 kg (55-66 pounds) had a track width of about 155 cm (5 feet), a wheel diameter of about 65 cm (2.1 feet) and a pole of about 230 cm (7.5 feet).

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m guessing there was a reference that got edited out, just by the phrasing of that first sentence.

      • UnCivilServant

        Either way, if Roman rides were that light, I’m not going to strain credulity, or the character’s back by having him lift one over his head.

      • Not Adahn

        Chariots were remarkably light. They had to be.

      • UnCivilServant

        They were also remarkably diverse… as one would expect over the course of a few thousand years in use.

        I keep mentally re-designing the suspension on this one, even though a part of me knows many designs rode directly on the axle.

      • Not Adahn

        So, your first program as Boeing’s Chief Diversity Officer would be to bring back chariots?

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s the circuses part of the Bread and Cricuses Initiative.

        Besides, it keeps the woke engineers away from the airplanes.

      • R C Dean

        Horsepower to weight ration wasn’t invented by the auto industry.

      • UnCivilServant

        The four horsepower models were unwieldy to steer.

      • Jarflax

        Heavy enough to make a Messala.

    • Rebel Scum

      I am only a minute in and my blood is boiling at his abject stupidity. He is another moron that seems to think that 1) spray and pray from the hip is effective and 2) pistol grips are even suited to hold at the hip. Rifles of all types are intended to be shouldered, you fucking retard.

      • Rebel Scum

        best weapon for self-defense in the home is a shotgun

        Ok, Biden. And there is a debate to be had, but it is also irrelevant to weather or not you have the authority to ban ownership of any particular firearm. (Hint: you don’t)

      • Rebel Scum

        Man, he really is hitting every fallacy and irrelevant distinguishing factor.

      • Rebel Scum

        red hot magazine

        Lol. Aaaannd I’m out.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You’re doing it wrong

      • R C Dean

        best weapon for self-defense in the home is a shotgun

        In close quarters (like indoors in a home), I still think a handgun is the way to go. But its a close enough call that I don’t think someone opting for a shotgun is wrong. Hell, on my very short list of firearms to acquire is a combat shotgun (18 1/2″ barrel, high-capacity mag).

      • AlmightyJB

        Shotgun is excellent choice. Good argument to be made for an AR pistol as well.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Chamber it in .300 BLK and put a can on it and you won’t even blow your eardrums out…

      • R C Dean

        A great “argument” to have in a bar with friends, IMO. Rifles are a distant third for home defense, IMO, solely because of overpenetration; other than that, the shortcoming of rifles for home defense, which is mostly an indoor sport, apply pretty equally to shotguns. As between handguns and shotguns, a matter of personal preference.

        I have two handguns readily accessible for home defense. The shotguns live in the safe. Other than a good-natured pro and con discussion with someone who has opted for a shotgun, I’m chill with it.

      • Fourscore

        A sign on your driveway

        “Security provided by S & W”

      • kinnath

        Why not both?

      • UnCivilServant

        Going guns akimbo with a shotgun and pistol aint easy, man.

      • Not Adahn

        Nono, you mount a shotgun to your pistol’s light rail.

      • UnCivilServant

        Or, hear me out, mount the pistol to the slide of the shotgun, and use it’s grip to cycle the shotgun action. In between, fire off shots from the pistol. May require a side-ejecting pistol.

      • R C Dean

        May require a side-ejecting pistol.

        Or a revolver.

        Bonus: whatever aiming device you have for the shotgun will also serve to aim the pistol.

      • kinnath

        Or maybe just a semi-automatic shotgun and a pistol with a laser sight in a nice holster.

      • Not Adahn

        Shotguns are the one firearm that gets less useful for home defense the more you optimize it for competition.

      • R C Dean

        Indeed. That’s why my short list has a shotgun on it. Prolly reach for the handgun first, though.

      • UnCivilServant

        Or maybe Kinnath is an advocate of the Taurus Judge loaded with .410

      • kinnath

        Or maybe Kinnath is an advocate of the Taurus Judge loaded with .410

        No.

      • Not Adahn

        The M26 is a thing

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Hell, on my very short list of firearms to acquire is a combat shotgun (18 1/2″ barrel, high-capacity mag).

        I liked mine. Too bad it jumped in the river.

      • Raston Bot

        spray and pray maybe worked for the Vegas shooter looking down into a packed concert venue. that’s it.

      • Not Adahn

        Didn’t it turn out that more of the fatalities were from the mob rather than from the sots?

  49. Juvenile Bluster

    TW: Slate

    Dear How to Do It,

    I’m a cis woman in kind of a classic millennial sex pickle: I’m really repelled by heterosexuality politically and personally, but I’m also really into dick. I’ve been thinking maybe I should look for bi dudes/ bicurious gay dudes, but I am not sure how best to do that. Rich, what would you think of a woman being on Grindr or Scruff? I do want to be respectful of gay men’s spaces and not horn in where I’m not welcome, but I really would love to find a vers guy with queer politics who would be up for casually dating a woman. What do you think? If you were me, where would you look?

      • UnCivilServant

        Speak for yourself, that’s not my culture.

      • kinnath

        My culture is fine.

        I’m fine; my kids are fine; my grandkids are fine.

        Slate is nothing more that a woke playboy forum. It’s made up shit for entertainment value.

    • UnCivilServant

      How about re-evaluate your politics. If you are a woman attracted to dudes, it is a sign of a severe personal issue to be repelled by the thought of being a woman attracted to dudes. At least 97% of women have that attraction. Get help, you’ll feel better when you don’t hate yourself anymore.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There first place you should stop looking is in your own asshole.

    • Mojeaux

      OMG. Please don’t let your personal preferences get in the way of your wokeness.

      Also, Craigslist.

    • R C Dean

      repelled by heterosexuality . . . also really into dick

      Not seeing how this circle can be squared.

      I suspect she is repelled by masculinity, not heterosexuality, but still wants to get fucked. IOW, she is looking for the stereotypical gamma soyboy. Without realizing, I would bet, that she will be disappointed by the kind of sex she thinks she wants.

      My advice: the best place to hook up with gamma soyboys is college campuses. Work the meat market bars around a big college campus, and you can get all the soy dick you want. Good luck, and I hope it all works out for you.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        repelled by heterosexuality politically

        No, she’s just been the victim of a life-hating religious orthodoxy that uses shame to brainwash impressionable young minds. Hen-pecked by church ladies who’v never been in a church and don’t wear bras.

      • Rhywun

        IOW, she is looking for the stereotypical gamma soyboy.

        This. She needs to be viewing apartments in Williamsburg.

    • Jarflax

      Translation: Look at me! I am stunning and brave too dammit!

    • AlmightyJB

      Look out the back Jack.

    • invisible finger

      “If you were me, where would you look? ”

      A medicine cabinet with a jar of Vicodin.

    • KSuellington

      Sex Pickle would be both a great band name and a solid choice for a sophomore album.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    “While all employees are welcome to engage constructively with any of the many teams inside Amazon that work on sustainability and other topics, we do enforce our external communications policy and will not allow employees to publicly disparage or misrepresent the company or the hard work of their colleagues who are developing solutions to these hard problems,” Amazon spokesperson Jaci Anderson told CNBC in a statement.

    You don’t say.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    “We’re losing about one dairy farm a week in the state of Virginia, and farmers are struggling hard,” Knight said. “I thought, ‘well, maybe these plant-based fluids are capitalizing on the good name of milk.’”

    Efficiency is ruining agriculture. Bring back hand milking.

    • AlmightyJB

      And Hand Maidens.

      • Rebel Scum

        Nothing like a good old-fashioned.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    I’m a cis woman in kind of a classic millennial sex pickle: I’m really repelled by heterosexuality politically and personally, but I’m also really into dick. I’ve been thinking maybe I should look for bi dudes/ bicurious gay dudes, but I am not sure how best to do that. Rich, what would you think of a woman being on Grindr or Scruff? I do want to be respectful of gay men’s spaces and not horn in where I’m not welcome, but I really would love to find a vers guy with queer politics who would be up for casually dating a woman. What do you think? If you were me, where would you look?

    Autoerotic asphyxia seems like it would be right up your alley. Just make sure you give the chair a good solid kick.

    • Fourscore

      I laughed. You’re a funny guy, Brooks.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    I’m really repelled by heterosexuality politically and personally, but I’m also really into dick.

    You could start hanging out a biker bars. Get plenty of dick, and have all your sociological prejudices reinforced at the same time.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      I want to believe

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Let me tell you what you need

    Hunter College students want Starbucks to take their lattes and shove them!

    Students at the City University of New York school are protesting a Hunter proposal to install a Starbucks on their campus saying it doesn’t serve the needs of a public college.

    “The coffee is overpriced,” said Briana Calderon Navarro, 25, a senior from Brooklyn. “Most students honestly can’t afford the coffee at Starbucks.”

    Navarro has been leading the charge against the coffee giant, saying there was already a cafeteria and cafe on campus selling coffee as well as bookstore across the street and sidewalk vendors with cheap Joe.

    “Three blocks away is a Starbucks,” she said. “We don’t need another coffee shop.”

    Yes, of course. Your extensive market research has proven this.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      If she’s right, the place will shut down. Capitalism!

      I’m guessing she’s incorrect and just doesn’t like Starbucks.

      • Pat

        Yeah… they can’t even follow their own logic. “Students can’t afford Starbucks!!!!!!!”. OK. So this franchise won’t make any money and will be forced to shut down. Self-correcting problem. Unless they use that proprietary corporate tricknology to get suburban soccer moms to come onto campus to subsidize the shop or something.

    • Rhywun

      “The coffee is overpriced,” said Briana Calderon Navarro, 25, a senior from Brooklyn. “Most students honestly can’t afford the coffee at Starbucks.”

      Enh, xe’s not wrong. Perhaps xe would consider shutting xer trap and shopping at the other coffee shop that already exists.

      • R C Dean

        “Most students honestly can’t afford the coffee at Starbucks.”

        Especially after the deplete their student loans going to Cozumel for Spring Break.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    “We don’t need Starbucks. It wouldn’t be a student space. It would be a place for people on Lexington to get their coffee,” said Becca Tauscher, 25, a junior from Brooklyn. “Students are hanging out in the library because there isn’t anywhere else to just hang out.

    Thomas Knapp, 19, a sophomore, called the Starbucks deal “brazen.”

    “I feel like on a liberal college campus, you don’t want a big corporate name in a space that could be just for students,” Knapp said.

    America’s future, boys and girls.

    Bleak.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      In 1998 when I was in undergrad, a Chick-Fil-A opened on campus. It was awesome. The students were universally happy.

      I’m happy I went to college then and not now.

    • R C Dean

      I feel like

      Get back to me when you start thinking.

      • KSuellington

        Come on RC, this is a university, a place where you learn how to feel the correct way, leave the thinking to the professionals.

    • R C Dean

      Twin brother, you say? So Vindman could have just used his brother’s credentials to get in and do the leaking himself.

      I mean, this is just as plausible as much of what is being posited as Trump’s “crimes”.

      • Pat

        If he’s so innocent then why does he deny his guilt! Checkmate Trumpalos!

    • Raston Bot

      and now it’s come to light that the NYT hasn’t even seen the book transcript. it’s just somebody on the inside leaking their version of what they’ve read. this is shaping up to be another “bombshell” alright.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    Unless they use that proprietary corporate tricknology to get suburban soccer moms to come onto campus to subsidize the shop or something.

    Horny self-loathing cougars in search of floppy soycock, FTW!

    • mindyourbusiness

      Koo koo katchoo, Mrs. Robinson…

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Hell, on my very short list of firearms to acquire is a combat shotgun (18 1/2″ barrel, high-capacity mag).

    I liked mine. Too bad it jumped in the river.

    *nods sadly, plays “Taps” on kazoo*

  58. Mojeaux

    Late to the party (again), but I don’t want to shit on Animal’s thread.

    Re music:

    I just don’t like Mozart. I don’t know why. Beethoven is better, but I’m a baroque girl and yes, the mathematics is part of the appeal to me. I have a crush on higher math because while I can do it, I don’t understand WHY it’s important or what it “says.” I know why physics works (the how little padding do you need to drop an egg from 3 stories up and have it not break was illustrative) and I know how chemical math works (moles, whatnot), but I don’t know how or why calculus works in real life. I don’t understand what E=MC2 MEANS or what it looks like or how it’s applicable to real life in any way. I know great things have come from math, but I don’t understand how or why.

    But Bach’s math, I understand completely. It beats with my heart.

    Bruno Mars—I love him. The lyric “give the color red the blues” is genius. I mean, it really is. Also, Outkast. Big Boi is grounded but brilliant; Andre 3000 is a contemplative hippie.
    Vivaldi is the same song arranged slightly differently in 100 different ways. He’s tedious and tiresome.

    Handel is a god. And deBussy. And Rachmaninoff.

    Haydn can go jump in a lake, as can Schumann and Chopin (my mother’s favorite) and Liszt.

    But now we’re just getting into preferences.

    • Mojeaux

      OH! And I have a real love for Spanish music (Ibeniz, Rodrigo, Bizet [yes, I know he was French]). In fact “Concierto de Aranjuez” was solely responsible for giving me a love of a country to which I have never been.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I highly recommend Spain. Whatever you do, start and end your trip in Barcelona. Awesome city, amazing night-life, and the food scene is to die for. Interestingly, because you’re jet-lagged, Barcelona’s night-life is actually easier to partake of when you first land — the evening meal time corresponds to mid-morning/early-to-mid afternoon throughout North America. You’re probably wide awake anyways, so hit those tapas bars!

        Madrid’s okay, but it’s definitely a government town. I could’ve stayed in Valencia for a week easily. Mebbe two.

        If you go, try to avoid the high summer months — even the native-born will admit that it’s really hot throughout Spain during the summer (with the interior being, naturally, much hotter than coastal regions).

      • Mojeaux

        Mostly I want to hit Sevilla because there is a whole section of Kansas City modeled on it and some of my best and most happy times have been in that area of town. We have a quarter-size replica of La Giralda. (I saw a picture of the real one in Sevilla from a certain angle and it took me a minute of wondering from what spot the picture had been taken to realize it was the REAL one.)

        So I lied. The piece wasn’t SOLELY responsible for it. I was well primed from childhood.

        I do want to go to Barcelona very much tho to see Gaudi’s work.

      • Rhywun

        I spent a couple months near Tarragona (just south of Barcelona) and was so bummed we barely spent a couple hours in Barcelona.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Jeez, mang. New York Barcelona’s gotta be a direct flight, no? Probably cheap, too.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Should read “New York to/from Barcelona.” Tried to use carets to show bi-directionality, and failed miserably.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Seville was a lot of fun. Plus the tune “Shady Dame from Seville” from the film “Victor, Victoria” kept going through my head while I was there.  ;-)

    • mindyourbusiness

      How about Richard Strauss?

      • Mojeaux

        I can’t recall one piece of his except Blue Danube Waltz? so I’m going to have to say he’s a nonstarter.

        Let me listen to some other stuff of his and I’ll get back to you.

      • mindyourbusiness

        Mo, sorry but you’ve got the wrong Strauss. Try Richard’s Don Juan. I think you’d like it.

    • Mojeaux

      Orff.

      *swoons*

  59. The Late P Brooks

    and now it’s come to light that the NYT hasn’t even seen the book transcript. it’s just somebody on the inside leaking their version of what they’ve read.

    Another one of those “My brother’s girlfriend’s sister heard it at the beauty parlor from a lady who lives down the street from the guy’s maid” tales.

    Totally legit.