New Year, New Links!

by | Jan 1, 2020 | Daily Links | 284 comments

Welcome to 2020, kids.

I hope this year brings you all peace, health, and happiness. It brings me and OMWC our 10th anniversary, which is not something I ever thought I’d be saying this time around, after a couple a few several less-than-spectacular marriages. But here we are, and apparently happily, too. (If OMWC knows what’s good for him, he’ll agree and I can put away the rusty tin can lid collection for a while.)

Birthdays: Edmund Burke; Paul Revere; Betsy Ross; Alfred Stieglitz, a personal influence; Charles Bickford; Barry Goldwater; Kim Philby; Country Joe McDonald; Don Novello; and friend of a friend John Digweed.

 

OK, the first links post of 2020, coming right up!

Who? I am only sorta familiar with this guy, but holy crap, look at that photo. Ghost? Zombie? Paleface? (Is that problematic?)

Seriously? She’s lucky she didn’t get shot. The Swiss Guard don’t fuck around. (Hi, Swiss!)

OFFS. I’m so tired of this bullshit.

Socialism, now with more happiness of the people!

This seems factual.

 

And some music, sappily dedicated to OMWC.

 

Have a great day, week, month, and year, friends.

 

 

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

284 Comments

  1. JD is Unemployed

    *fireworks*

  2. Ted S.

    Who? I am only sorta familiar with this guy, but holy crap, look at that photo.

    Anderson Vanderbilt (Gloria’s son).

  3. Drake

    My belly hurts this morning. I sense a terrible purge is coming.

    • Ted S.

      Hawt.

  4. hayeksplosives

    “ , after a couple a few several less-than-spectacular marriages.”

    You and me both, sistah. Unfortunately number 3 is a bit of a roller coaster too.

    • Fourscore

      Not all marriages are made in heaven (are any?). As the Gambler said, “The best that we can hope for is to die in our sleep”

      Marriage and the results are the proof of our humanity.

      Us guys are lucky we have you ladies. Thanks.

      • mrfamous

        I suppose I’m lucky that women find me repulsive; don’t have to worry about any of that.

      • straffinrun

        You can work with that. I did.

      • Gender Traitor

        Had to download the image to see it, but yeah! I’d be on that like…

      • Mojeaux

        Oh crap. So much for my experiment with sharing my personal cloud files.

      • Rhywun

        I just get a blank page that says “Loading…” but doesn’t seem to be loading anything.

      • Rhywun

        Let’s see if this works.

        Oh, my.

      • Charles Easterly

        “This would work on me.”

        I wrote a similar note.
        After editing it three times to make it worthy of the recipient I confidently went to deliver it only to find that she had already left with another man.

        Alas.

      • Mojeaux

        I haz a sad for you.

        I will fix that for you in a romance novel, okay?

      • Charles Easterly

        “I will fix that for you in a romance novel, okay?”

        Thank you, and I will agree upon this condition: The lady that you create in your romance novel ends up with the best possible individual that you also create for her.

        You can omit the fellow overly pondering his grammar and relative worthiness, inter alia.

        Or not. Complexity may be useful in a any sort of novel, methinks.

      • blackjack

        I thought I was killing time, but time was killing me.

      • Aloysious

        Heh. It does simplify life.

      • Mojeaux

        Meh, even Mr. Mojeaux and I have our tiffs. They mostly involve the children.

      • Spartacus

        Mrs S. and I used to argue regularly over child-rearing. Now that the boy has grown and left the house, I can’t remember the last time we had a real dispute.
        Will be 28 years of marriedness come March.

      • Fourscore

        46 in March but a long 46.

      • Gender Traitor

        (Pssssst! 4×20 – I think you’re supposed to say it’s flown by.) Congrats in advance of the anniversary!

      • Fourscore

        Not according to the Mrs

      • Plinker762

        Hmm, 420, The real meaning of Fourscore has been revealed!

    • Not Adahn

      I find “has terrible taste in men” to be a very attractive quality in a woman.

  5. chipping pioneer

    Andersen Cooper: White walker

  6. hayeksplosives

    Happy New Year, everyone.

    This os the best community on the inter tubes.

    You guys keep me sane, I thank you for putting up with my whining.

    To a great 2020!!

    • WTF

      Seconded, and Happy New Year everyone!

    • Sean

      I finished 2019 sick as hell, but I’m feeling better in 2020! It’s gonna be a great year.

      Happy New Year y’all.

      • Fourscore

        Every day is a good day, a week is great, a year, unbelievable !

        Happy New Year to all !

    • Tejicano

      Happy New Year to you and to all the rest of us here! As far as I’m concerned there’s no place on the interwebs I would rather be.

      • Ted S.

        Not even Pornhub?

      • Chafed

        There are always exceptions.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Happy New Year!

      I’m certain Carlos Ghosn is having one as well.

      https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-12-31/ghosn-escape-theory-music-box-private-jet-and-french-passport

      In one speculative account, which cited no sources, Lebanese television station MTV reported that Ghosn smuggled himself out of Japan in a large musical instrument box after a Christmas band visited his residence in Tokyo. He was then shipped out of the country and later entered Lebanon from Turkey on a private plane.

      • Lackadaisical

        …and then drugs fell out of his ass?

    • AlexinCT

      Happy New Year to the Gliberati! Health, wealth, and happiness is my wish for you all.

  7. chipping pioneer

    Pope slapping old lady. WWJD?

    • JD is Unemployed

      Jesus would go for the cheek, then demand that she turn the other one for the backhander. That’s how turn the other cheek works, right?

      • hayeksplosives

        Well, the movie wasn’t so hot. Didn’t have much of a plot.

        We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot!

        And so is our family friendly rating…

      • Fourscore

        No more drive-in movies for you, Missy

      • Charles Easterly

        Thank you Ted S., for that link.

        Unrelated and from a band from the 90s (and thus pre-September 11 2001): “Overseas, yeah, we tryin’ to stop terrorism
        But we still got terrorists here livin’
        In the USA, the big CIA
        The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK

        But if you only have love for your own race
        Then you only leave space to discriminate
        And to discriminate only generates hate
        And when you hate then you’re bound to get irate”

        “Madness is what you demonstrate
        And that’s exactly how anger works and operates
        Man, you gotta have love, this’ll set us straight
        Take control of your mind and meditate
        Let your soul gravitate to the love…”

        Link

    • mexican sharpshooter

      When discussing WWJD, remember that flipping tables, yelling at people, and instructing his disciples to sell their shirts for a sword are within the realm of possibility.

      • Mojeaux

        Don’t forget the whips.

      • MikeS

        Or the context.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        What’s that?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Kinky

      • hayeksplosives

        For benefit of you heathens, here is a most excellent depiction of the scene in question, starring that guy from Lost.

        https://youtu.be/boNIL1owRAI

        It’s a word-for-word recreation of the Gospel of John.

  8. Shirley Knott

    New Year goals same as always, for everyone.

    To Be Free

    • PieInTheSky

      Is anyone really free?

      • JD is Unemployed

        I can usually predict your music links with an accuracy somewhere around 85%, but today I thought that might be this. Too obvious?

      • Ted S.

        How about this?

      • JD is Unemployed

        100% didn’t see that coming.

      • Gender Traitor

        Happy New Year, homey!

      • Tres Cool

        sup Pimp!

        Right back @ ya!

      • Fourscore

        Just another word for nothin’ left to lose

      • hayeksplosives

        Does anybody really know what time it is?

      • kinnath

        Does anyone really care?

      • Tres Cool

        You make it sound like its saturday in the park.

      • Gender Traitor

        That was some other holiday. The fireworks fooled you.

    • Charles Easterly

      Thank you for that link, Shirley Knott.

  9. PieInTheSky

    This new year seems off to me. But we will see.

  10. Lackadaisical

    Multiple outlets reported Tuesday the US Food and Drug Administration plans to announce a ban on the sale of cartridge-based e-cigarette flavors other than tobacco and menthol later this week. The plan was first reported by the Wall Street Journal, citing people familiar with the matter.

    Trump is wrong, but the root problem is with the FDA and the executive generally having too much power.

    Also, Trump is trying real hard to make me dislike him.

    • Fourscore

      “other than tobacco and menthol”

      Why not these? Oh yeah, now I remember

      • Rhywun

        Because children hate the taste of tobacco: nobody under 21 ever smoked a cigarette before these things came along.

    • WTF

      Not stated: where in the constitution does the federal government derive the authority to ban anything?

      • Jarflax

        They have the authority to ban the importation of slaves since 1808, and to ban non-republican State governments.

    • Rhywun

      For the sixth year in a row, e-cigarettes were the most commonly used tobacco product among high school and middle school students.

      *prolonged sigh*

      This is why we can’t have nice things.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Where’s the tobacco in an e-cig?

      • kbolino

        I’m not justifying the government’s intrusion or the media’s complicity, but isn’t the nicotine in e-cigarettes derived from tobacco? You can get nicotine from other nightshades but the concentrations are a lot lower and it’d be a lot more expensive.

      • Mojeaux

        IIRC, it’s the tar sucked up into your lungs that’s really the bad part, not the nicotine. After all, there are nicotine patches and gum.

      • Mad Scientist

        His point is that the nicotine in the e-cig is derived from tobacco, so when the media says, “e-cigarettes were the most commonly used tobacco product among…” you can point to tobacco as an actual ingredient.

        I’d also like to point out that e-cigs are partially made out of plastic, so one of the main ingredients is petroleum!

      • kbolino

        I cannot wait until the Office of Climate Change or whatever it gets called bans plastic. That’ll be a fun time to live in.

      • Mad Scientist

        The EPA recently decided, out of thin air, that they can regulate modifying the exhaust on a race car which is never driven on public streets. They’ll find an excuse to ban plastic eventually.

      • kbolino

        Yes, I agree. Nicotine is addictive like caffeine; in moderate consumption it’s not especially harmful. But the only commercially viable source of it is tobacco (unlike caffeine, which has multiple sources). It seems, somewhat hypocritically*, that the FDA does not consider nicotine patches and gum to be tobacco products.

        * = From their perspective, it’s probably not seen as hypocrisy: e-cigs are “recreational” while patches and gum are “therapeutic”, kind of like heroin vs methadone (before the “opioid crisis”, anyway).

      • Rhywun

        Their perspective is wrong. But yes, I agree that is how they see it.

      • Rhywun

        isn’t the nicotine in e-cigarettes derived from tobacco

        Sure. But what they’re doing here is promoting FUD by calling it a “tobacco product”. They used to outright lie by claiming that vaping is just as dangerous as smoking. With this, they can drop the lie but let the credulous public form that link in their minds themselves.

      • kbolino

        I think that’s fair, there’s no remnant of the tobacco in an e-cig other than the nicotine, whereas cigarettes, cigars, snuff, chew, etc. retain other parts of the tobacco. The aforementioned hypocrisy notwithstanding, e-cigs probably belong in the same category as nicotine gum or patches.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The smoke banners lie almost as much as the gun grabbers. Tobacco free campuses/parks being sold under the specious theory that secondhand smoke in unconfined open air is as bad as an enclosed room. Yet somehow those bans also include chewing tobacco which has almost no secondhand effect.

        My favorite- county banned tobacco usage on their property. So their employees walk across their parking lot and stand on the edge of ours to smoke. So fucking ridiculous to see these grown adults standing alone in a sea of concrete, but how dare they step a foot back over.

    • westernsloper

      Also, Trump is trying real hard to make me dislike him.

      Yep, the “Trump is a dictator” crowd gets a slow ball across the plate. Problem is, that crowd won’t say shit about this.

  11. UnCivilServant

    Well, the beer bread is on. It should be cooked in half an hour.

    • JD is Unemployed

      Is that code for hangover poop? Godspeed if so.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nope. Garlic Cheddar Beer Bread.

        3 Cups Flour
        2 Teaspoons Salt
        3 1/2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
        2-6 Teaspoons minced Garlic
        12 oz Beer
        10 oz Sharp Cheddar
        1 Tablespoon Butter

        Heat oven to 350 degrees.

        In a bowl, add Flour, Salt, Baking Powder, 8 oz of cheese, the Garlic and Beer.

        Mix until a dough forms. It will be sticky.

        Grease four mini-loaf pans. Split dough among pans.
        –OR–
        Grease one loaf pan. Put dough in pan.

        Melt butter. Brush melted butter on top of dough in pans. Sprinkle remaining cheese atop dough.

        Bake for ~30 minutes for mini-loaves
        Bake for ~45 minutes for single loaf.

      • UnCivilServant

        crap, they stuck to the pans 🙁

      • UnCivilServant

        Yay, I get them out of the pan. Now I can go give them away.

        I already ate 25% of them… I can’t keep chowing down on the bread.

      • Not Adahn

        For 3c of flour, I’ve found you can get a pound and a half of other ingredients before the bread loses structural integrity.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Any specific beer? Craft or simple like Yuengling?

      • UnCivilServant

        Whatever you’re willing to use. The impact on flavor is small because of everything done to it. So unless you’ve got some extreme flavor in there, it’s not the biggest factor.

      • JD is Unemployed

        We aren’t allowed to have sharp cheddar in the UK. Will safety cheddar work?

      • Mojeaux

        Common-sense cheese control.

      • Not Adahn

        Huh. Now I’m wondering how you guys distinguish between cheeses we’d consider “cheddar” here. Leicester, for instance. Is it just place names, or what?

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m sure you can swap out the flavoring ingredients without causing problems.

        Though I’d defy any ban on sharp cheddar. That’s just inhumane.

        And yes, I did laugh at the joke.

      • Not Adahn

        It makes the Monthy Python sketch about self defense v. a banana a lot less silly.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    The Kremlin released a readout on the conversation between the leaders, saying Trump and Putin “discussed a range of issues of mutual interest.”

    Techniques for disappearing pesky journalists, for instance.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    It is not clear what the woman was saying.

    “Get back here, you fucker.”

    • WTF

      “Sucky fucky, five dollah!”

      • Fourscore

        I started to go with that but didn’t want to, you know…

    • Fourscore

      “A deal is a deal, you owe me twenty bucks, same as downtown”

    • Mad Scientist

      She was just telling the pope how he could get a free TV if he’d just attend her seminar about the fabulous timeshares available in Cancun.

      • Chafed

        That’s probably true.

    • MikeS

      “No, listen! Epstein didn’t hang himself!”

      • westernsloper

        This needs to be memed ASAP!

      • Fourscore

        Lol, MikeS.

        The not quite final chapter of the crisis on Friday night. About 2 weeks earlier I had gotten a similar phone call. I told my daughter it was time to put on her Big Girl pants and make a decision. An adult doesn’t have to stay in a bad situation. That would of course been admitting she had made a previous bad decision.

        Yesterday she said she was getting out and moving on as a single person, since this romance has been pretty short and time’s a-wastin’. Life goes on.

        Thanks to all of you that put up with my tales of woe. Hope this closes the chapter (until the next time). It ain’t over ’til…

      • Gender Traitor

        An adult doesn’t have to stay in a bad situation. That would of course been admitting she had made a previous bad decision.

        This.

      • Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

        An adult doesn’t have to stay in a bad situation.

        Agency is the first and last answer to most things.

        Most of the political problems we bandy about here boil down to someone selling favor by offering to be the answer for masses who don’t want to be their own answers. I understand that urge in some places, but it’s a damnable shame when an American resorts to it.

  14. WTF

    Helping Russia thwart a terrorist attack is obviously proof that Trump is a Russian asset.

    • Fourscore

      Trump conned the American public, now he’s widening his horizons

    • JD is Unemployed

      “PROOF! TRUMP COLLUDED WITH PUTIN TO THWART BRAVE REVOLUTIONARY VIOLENCE!”

  15. Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

    Bama, the best 2-loss team, over Ann Arbor, the best 3-loss team, by 3

    Auburn over Minnesota by 6

    Oregon-Wisconsin will be decided by a shootout, but I’m not really clear on which has the better goalie: probably the best test of the day.

    Short-handed UGA over Baylor by 5. I’m not sure that prayer will move the needle much on this one.

    EscapedJunior is a devoted, unescaped Stars fan and will be hosting the Smashville Preds on the worst ice ever.

      • Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

        no objections

        UGA is down a few O-types, so Baylor might be able to exploit their season’s MO (excellent pass rush) to yet one last game, but I don’t believe for a minute that the talent is close. That said, Smart has consistently shown us the weakest results possible from his QB and squad, and I can’t think of a reason for him to suddenly wake up today.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        MN and Baylor are similar teams. Overachieved based on the level of talent. Based on watching them both play this season, I think that MN is for real and Baylor is going to be exposed when they face a real defense. I think that UGA only has to score 21 to win.

      • Fourscore

        MN will be either 1st or 2nd. Like Humphrey and Mondale

  16. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    Happy New Year from the trshmnstr household!

    I’m usually not much into resolutions, but this new year makes for a good inflection point. 2019 was a year of sacrifice and suck, so I’ve decided to make 2020 the Year Of Enjoyment™. Goal is to prioritize doing things that I enjoy (hobbies, getting outdoors, spending time with family, etc) and that improve my life (working out, relaxing, etc) and jettisoning unnecessary responsibility. Hopefully this substantially reduces my baseline stress level and increases my general happiness.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Make sure you leave time for Glibs inbetween all the wanking sessions.

      • Lackadaisical

        Pictured: trshmonstr

      • Lackadaisical

        (NSFW)

        Forgot some people may be ‘working’ today.

      • Ted S.

        Not during?

    • straffinrun

      Hate to be a dick, but I’d bet you don’t do it. Instead, embrace what you are: responsible man that gives up his time.

      • straffinrun

        Not an insult BTW.

      • AlmightyJB

        We’re creatures of habits.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Not who they hoped for

    The unspoken truth about the furor Buttigieg arouses is that his success threatens a core belief of young progressives: that their ideology owns the future, and that the rise of millennials into Democratic politics is going to bring an inevitable demographic triumph for the party’s far left wing.

    The left believes the youth are on its side—and as shown by Bernie Sanders’ popularity among the under-30 set, as shown in a recent Quinnipiac poll, they’re apparently right. In a primary debate with the incumbent former Rep. Joe Crowley, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said, “I represent not just my campaign, but a movement.” Mobilized young Democratic Socialists of America members have raved to the New York Times about how the DSA is “what the Democratic Party should be.” Waleed Shahid, spokesman for the Ocasio-Cortez-aligned Justice Democrats, has dramatized the generational struggle by interpolating a famous Gramsci quote with his pinned tweet: “The old America is dying. A new America is struggling to be born. Now is a time of monsters.”

    So it’s especially galling that the first millennial to take a serious run at the presidency is nothing like the left’s imagined savior. Buttigieg is a veteran, an outspoken Christian, a former McKinsey consultant, and, frankly, closer to Mitt Romney than Sanders or generational peer AOC in his aw shucks personal affect. In the eyes of radicalized young leftists, Buttigieg isn’t just an ideological foe, he’s worse than that: He’s a square.

    ——-

    It might seem obvious that the type of young person who goes into electoral politics—and especially the type that gets elected mayor of a small Midwestern city—is not necessarily the type who pledges their deathless support for democratic socialism. With apologies to AOC, this person is inherently far more likely to be an institutionalist, more a do-gooding Leslie Knope than a radicalized version of Bart Simpson.

    Buttigieg is a young professional with an elite pedigree who’s chosen to buy into the system as a reformer instead of attacking it as a revolutionary. To a certain class of left-wing thought leaders, he’s an unwelcome reminder of the squeaky-clean moderates with whom they once rubbed elbows. And quite possibly, his elite credentials may also be an unwelcome reminder of their own. The editor-in-chief of Current Affairs, for instance, isn’t just a random antagonist: He’s also a fellow Harvard alumnus.

    He’s just not a credit to his identity category, I guess.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Obviously, he needs to be a flamer that supports tweener tranny drag queens and wants to tear down the entirety of the American Experiment and replace it with gray jumpsuits and bread lines.

    • Rhywun

      In the eyes of radicalized young leftists, Buttigieg isn’t just an ideological foe

      Next thing you know, radicalized young leftists are going to wake up and realize that they aren’t going to decide the election!

    • leon

      “inevitable demographic triumph”

      It’s always that way with the socialists. They don’t need to work, their triumph is inevitable.

    • Jarflax

      The fact that he is a moderate in this field is less a commentary on him and more a brutal critique of the Party.

      • Rhywun

        Right? He’s far to the left of how Obama presented himself circa 2008.

    • peachy rex

      “Leslie Knope”, huh? I knew there was a reason the smarmy little fuck rubbed me the wrong way.

      • R C Dean

        Perfect. He is, indeed, the Leslie Knope of the current field.

    • MikeS

      Remember when Dems and their media apologists would deride anyone on the right who dared to call them, or even just their policies, socialist? It wasn’t that long a go. Now they’re falling all over themselves to be the best socialist. How fast and how far it changed is almost almost surreal.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    The educated young people leading the left have worked closely with these overachievers throughout their careers—often at the same elite institutions they deride, rightfully or not, as venal consensus factories. Such activists are baffled by their counterparts’ optimism and adherence to tradition in the face of the Trump era’s grimness and vulgarity.

    *raises hand from back of room*

    Whom do we identify as the source of said grimness and vulgarity?

    The shit flinging howler monkeys who have immersed themselves in a three year temper tantrum about the loss of their preferred candidate? No, I thought not.

    • WTF

      Clearly Trump is responsible for dividing the country.

  19. SDF-7

    ” It brings me and OMWC our 10th anniversary, which is not something I ever thought I’d be saying this time around, after a couple a few several less-than-spectacular marriages.”

    Well, those kindergarten marriages on the playground rarely work out, do they?

  20. Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

    The oak waits us out. An owl rips the head off of someone’s cat. The Mississippi rolls unconcerned. A bacterium in my lung thinks this might be his lucky day. Two turds battle down a brick sewer chase. A street urchin has finally found shade in Lagos.

    Happy solstice +10 !!!

  21. JD is Unemployed

    My new year’s resolution is to start gambling.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Posting here is a gamble that the feds won’t eventually raid your house because of it.

      • Lackadaisical

        I was going to say it helps he’s in the UK, but pretty sure JD could be disappeared for posting here alone, whereas we would at least have to say something about wood chippers.

      • JD is Unemployed

        It’s true – even in cases of people being tried for other crimes, it’s not uncommon for the prosecution to present out of context stuff they have pulled from forums and social media, which is wicked succesful at poisoning the jury.

    • Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

      10 to 1 you don’t make it through January !

      • JD is Unemployed

        Only because I’ll be broke.

    • Sean

      Barebacking hookers?

      • JD is Unemployed

        Yes. No, not really. I’m just dipping my toe in the water, so to speak.

      • Sean

        I played a lot of blackjack on my kindle to get comfortable with it before going to the casinos. Then I found the dealers and even some other players fairly friendly when actually playing.

        What kind of gambling are you looking at?

      • JD is Unemployed

        Sports betting. Just trying some small bets on reasonable odds for meagre returns and hoping to build it up from there once I gain a better understanding and more confidence.

      • Jarflax

        If you want positive returns gambling I suggest making book. Gamblers do not win.

      • Mojeaux

        As Almanzo Wilder’s father told Almanzo once, “Don’t bet on other men’s games.”

      • Mojeaux

        I’ve said this before, but I can’t stand casinos. They are too loud, too bright, and have an overlying sense of despair. The once and only time I played blackjack at a table, I won, but I was angry that Mr. Mojeaux had just shoved $20 into a slot machine knowing he wouldn’t win and I was going to get tha money back, and I did. Entered with self-imposed $20 limit each and left with $100. I treated playing that game like a job.

      • Jarflax

        You still got lucky, even playing perfectly, unless you can find a house that uses small shoes and count cards AND play for hundreds of hours waiting for the rare moments when counting will give you the edge, AND the casino doesn’t notice (which they will because the way it works is you bet minimums until the count is right then push hard), the odds favor the house.

      • blackjack

        it’s pretty much timing. There’s ups and downs. You win for awhile, then you lose for awhile. The house depends on you staying until it’s all gone. I used to just have a budget, play as skillfully as possible and if I won enough, I’d pocket the overage and then leave when my budget was exhausted. I would take extra money home about half the time. The other half, I just had fun. I was fairly skilled at my namesake game.

    • Pi Guy

      Lotto as retirement plan. Count me in!

      • JD is Unemployed

        Well, I just bet on the Rangers to win the WS. Lotto would be a more rational choice.

      • Fourscore

        Does $20 of Scratchoffs at the bar count as a 401(k)? Then I’m good

      • Tres Cool

        No, thats venture capital.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Learn to what?

    During a rally yesterday, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden spoke to a crowd in Derry, N.H., a town that many miners call home. He acknowledged the economic setbacks and job insecurity that coal miners face these days, and gave them some advice: learn to code.

    According to Dave Weigel of the Washington Post, Biden said, “Anybody who can go down 3,000 feet in a mine can sure as hell learn to program as well… Anybody who can throw coal into a furnace can learn how to program, for God’s sake!”

    According to Weigel, the comment was met with silence from the audience.

    Completely overlapping skillsets. Why hasn’t anybody thought of this, sooner?

    Your Democratic frontrunner, ladies and gents.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Needs more pool chain.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Only 4+ years behind Clinton and Obama making the same statement….no sense of history or no self awareness….or all of the above.

    • Sean

      O M G.

      Trump is gonna run roughshod over that old fool.

    • Rhywun

      Failing that, there’s always learning to graft. What do you think, Joe??

      • DrOtto

        Here’s a plan – Senators and VPs can “Adopt a coal town” and then get the unemployed residents jobs on overseas company boards. If you can bang strippers and do blow all day, you can be on the board of Burisma.

    • straffinrun

      Imagine thing that’s what coal mining is all about.

    • leon

      Does the man not have handlers?

      Also why is choosing the jobs they are always trying to push people into?

      • leon

        Coding*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because people who need tech support to tell them to reboot the computer are meant to be coders.

      • Mad Scientist

        Because it pays well and politicians think it’s easy.

      • leon

        I think this. And a bit of magical thinking. If they just say “learn to code” it absolves then from having to feel bad about enacting policies that destroy the jobs of those people.

      • kbolino

        That, and they think college is a magic box that takes any person as input and produces an individual qualified to do any high-paying job as output.

      • blackjack

        They would be called manhandlers.

    • JD is Unemployed

      I think that absolutely counts as malarkey.

    • R C Dean

      “Anybody who can throw coal into a furnace”

      I would be very surprised if there is anybody still making a living stoking coal furnaces by hand.

      “Entrepreneurial spirit”

      I guess he’s referring to all the small businesses that will close when he collapses the economy in those towns? Because the miners aren’t entrepreneurs.

      • Fourscore

        My hometown. When the iron mines closed the local stores disappeared, not from lack of entrepreneurs but from lack of customers.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        What? Are BBQ pit masters just chopped meat?

        …yeah I know its not really coal.

    • slumbrew

      Derry, N.H., a town that many miners call home

      Wut? HM can correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s no coal mining in New Hampshire.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Biden’s campaign has proposed moving the U.S. away from fossil fuels to reduce the country’s carbon footprint. He advocates helping lifelong miners secure sustainable jobs and keep their benefits. His plan calls for a ‘Task Force on Coal and Power Plant Communities’ to reinvigorate communities that depend on mining and coal as their economic backbone. The plan would invest in assets of mining communities, “like a rich culture, natural beauty, a proven workforce, and entrepreneurial spirit.”

    ——-

    Although they are often touted as a solution, retraining programs have a questionable record of success. Some displaced coal workers do transition into other fields or industries, but critics say that the jobs that former coal workers usually find tend to pay only $12 to $15 dollars per hour as opposed to the approximate $75,000 a year salary that coal workers had while working in the mines.

    What about Victory Gardens? They could grow medical marijuana, or opium. Yeah, that’s it. Opium!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      a proven workforce, and entrepreneurial spirit

      It’s like he’s never been to Appalachia before.

    • blackjack

      Well, we should just stop investing money in the current coal based energy and start pumping it into wind and solar. Eventually, all of the existing coal based infrastructure will be burned to the ground in the resulting wildfires and there will be way less people dependent on it. We probably will only need the 15% or so that “renewables” provide. It’s working perfectly out here.

    • MikeS

      L

      • Gender Traitor

        R

      • Ted S.

        P

      • Mojeaux

        LOL

      • MikeS

        Hey! Only one letter at a time!

      • Mojeaux

        LARP is the end and hilarious.

      • Rhywun

        Perfect. Short and to-the-point.

      • Gender Traitor

        I was actually going for “larn…”

      • Not Adahn

        Tu kode?

  24. LCDR_Fish

    Need to get around to playing some of them…but I really can’t skip paying approx $1 each for System Shock 1 & 2 and a stack of my other old high school, college favorite games. Granted, I haven’t had time to play any yet, but some nice sales at gog.com.

    • Not Adahn

      I loved System Shock when it came out, but I tried it last weekend (due to the same) and I don’t know if it’s how it was ported but the interface makes it close to unplayable for me.

      • LCDR_Fish

        The Remastered edition or the original? – the purchase came with both versions as far as I can tell.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    CNN headline:

    How did Carlos Ghosn escape from Japan without any of his three passports?

    That magic piece of paper controls your movements! Without it, you are completely unable to go anywhere or do anything.

    Saints preserve us.

    • Gender Traitor

      Oh, yes! Magic pieces of paper are magic! Like restraining orders!

    • LJW

      Must be rough for CNN believing everyone obeys rules and regulations.

    • Sensei

      50 Reasons to Click This Link. – Lord, I hate the end/beginning of the year click-bait articles from the MSM.

      Happy New Year Glibs!

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Must be rough for CNN believing everyone obeys rules and regulations.

    Everybody but Public Enemy Number One, anyway. That guy never saw a rule he wouldn’t break.

  27. westernsloper

    Chairman Kim Jong-un announced in his speech the basic approach to the development of the major sectors of the economy including the primary sector, the manufacturing sector and the service industry represented by the tourist industry.

    Wut? Since when did they get a tourist industry, or even an economy for that matter?

    • Mad Scientist

      They must have one! The Chairman just talked about it!

      • Not Adahn

        Of course they do. Otto Warmbier found his trip to the DPRK was to die for.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    You’ll never succeed. Let me take care of you.

    “Billionaires in wine caves should not pick the next president of the United States,” Warren posted on Instagram after the last primary debate, in reference to a recent Buttigieg fundraiser.

    Buttigieg has pushed back by highlighting Warren’s past fundraising during her Senate runs. “Senator, your presidential campaign right now as we speak is funded in part by money you transferred, having raised it at those exact same big-ticket fundraisers you now denounce,” Buttigieg said at the debate. “Did it corrupt you, senator? Of course not.”

    Warren implicitly rebuked Buttigieg in Tuesday’s speech. “The billionaires, the corporate executives and their favorite presidential candidates have one clear goal: To convince you that everything you imagine is impossible. To convince you that reform is hopeless. To convince you that because no one can be pure, it’s pointless to try to make anything better,” she said.

    In her most recent speech in New Hampshire, she also characterized other Democratic candidates as “naive” and criticized Biden and Buttigieg without explicitly naming them.

    “Unlike some candidates for the Democratic nomination, I’m not betting my agenda on the naive hope that if Democrats adopt Republican critiques of progressive policies or make vague calls for unity that somehow the wealthy and well-connected will stand down,” Warren said.

    Warren just wants you to know you’ll never be good at anything, you’ll never be a success, so you should just put yourself in her tender care. Big Nanny will provide. Surrender yourself to the State. Love Heap Big Sister.

    • kbolino

      Warren is the first and only candidate in the history of Presidential elections to want to change things. Everybody before her just ran on preserving the status quo until the end of time.

      • leon

        I’ll say anyone who strives desperately to convince you that they aren’t controlled by corporate money…. Probably is.

      • blackjack

        I’ll say that anything Warren tries hard to convince you of, the opposite is true. This is a rule, like gravity.

    • Animal

      “Did it corrupt you, senator? Of course not.”

      No. She was already corrupt.

  29. Mojeaux

    Mornin’ Glibbies and Happy New Year.

    I see a solutely nothing different about this day than any other when I can’t get my shit together. I don’t make resolutions. Too much pressure I can’t handle It’ll be an achievement if I get the paperwork together in time for our appointment with our attorney.

    I am a little blurgh on the sugar, but Friday is Mr. Mojeaux’s barfday. Fortunately, he does not want the traditional special barfday donuts nor does he want cake and ice cream. Just Red Lobster for lunch.

    • Playa Manhattan

      Dare I ask what the lawyer is for?

      • Mojeaux

        Bankruptcy.

        The house broke us.

    • blackjack

      My resolution is to procrastinate more. I might not put a lot of effort into it until next year, I’m undecided about it, because my resolution last year was to be more ambiguous.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Supreme Leader issues diktat

    New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) announced Tuesday that he has directed the state’s Labor Department to end businesses’ subminimum wage for more than 70,000 tipped workers.

    The order will apply to “miscellaneous” industries, according to the governor’s office, including nail salon workers, car wash employees, valet parking attendants, tow-truck drivers, tour guides, dog groomers and door-people.

    ——-

    “[A]fter an exhaustive investigation conducted by the Department of Labor, it’s clear the tip system in many situations is needlessly complicated, allowing unscrupulous businesses to flout our nation-leading minimum wage laws and robbing workers of the paycheck they earned. That ends now,” Cuomo said in a statement.

    “Today, I am directing the labor department to put an end to the tip credit in the industries with the highest risk of wage theft to help restore fairness for workers, many of whom are critical to the service industries that keep our economy moving forward,” he added.

    The Governor of New York has unlimited power to control the economy, and set wages and prices? I did not know that.

    *Tow truck drivers are tipped employees? RLY?

    • R C Dean

      “Wage theft”?

    • R C Dean

      I rally struggled my last trip to San Diego. I knew the servers were getting minimum wage, and every menu had a note about a surcharge to cover that cost. I still tipped, but I reduced it by the surcharge.

    • leon

      The Governor of New York has unlimited power to control the economy, and set wages and prices? I did not know that.

      What are you gonna do about it?

      • Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

        shut up and starve

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I didn’t think you were supposed to tip the tow truck driver.

      • Sean

        If you catch a ride with them, then tip them. That’s how I look at it.

      • Not Adahn

        How are you people needing tows often enough for this to even be a thing?

      • Playa Manhattan

        Also, parking attendants? If anything, I want to steal from them.

    • Rhywun

      “Hm… which industries do I feel like destroying today?”

    • blackjack

      When I was 18 or so, I worked the night shift at a gas station that was on a major route to Hollywood. Electric fans were just starting to be used and the thermostats would fail regularly. I would bypass the switch and enable the drivers to keep going. This was after the bars closed, so 2 or 3 a.m. I would always refuse to name a price for this and just tell them to pay me what it’s worth to them. They always paid at least double what I would have charged them. I made 400 in one night once. We’re talking 1984, here.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    At long last, justice!

    Black students and employees in California can finally feel free to be themselves.
    Wednesday, the Golden State becomes the first in the United States to ban employers and school officials from discriminating against people based on their natural hair.
    The Crown Act makes it illegal to enforce dress code or grooming policies against hairstyles such as afros, braids, twists and locks.
    “This law protects the right of black Californians to choose to wear their hair in its natural form, without pressure to conform to Eurocentric norms,” state Sen. Holly Mitchell said earlier this year. “I am so excited to see the culture change that will ensue from the law.”

    Praise JEEZIS!

    Part of a long and depressing laundry list of new laws.

    Also:

    Twenty-one states and 26 cities and counties, mostly in California, will raise the minimum wage on New Year’s Day. In 17 of those jurisdictions, the new rate will reach or exceed $15 an hour.
    Four more states and 23 more cities and counties will join later in the year, with 15 of them raising wages to $15 an hour or more. Illinois and St. Paul, Minnesota, will raise their minimum wages twice in 2020.
    “These increases will put much-needed money into the hands of the lowest-paid workers, many of whom struggle with high and ever-increasing costs of living,” researcher and policy analyst Yannet Lathrop wrote in a blog post about the new wages.

    But let us not forget that the federal minimum wage has remained unchanged since 2009, at $7.25 an hour.

    Let us not forget. Fucking billionaires, that’s who I blame.

    • Not Adahn

      If it is styled into a particular way, then it is not natural. By definition.

      • Q Continuum

        RAAAAAAAAACIST!!

      • Not Adahn

        Well duh. All wypipo are raceist. Again, it’s a definition thing.

      • Rhywun

        That was my thought. I can’t wait for the first lawsuit from someone with white-boy dreads.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Why not? Spreading of dreads, next up- banning employers from requiring employees to take a bath and not stink when they show up to work.

    • Rhywun

      Ah, the year’s first first roll-call of DOOM.

      “Let’s go over how you’re getting fucked this year!”

    • blackjack

      This is not a new thing here.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Problematic

    With hours still left to go in 2019, there have been 347 homicides in Baltimore this year, the highest per capita in recent years, according to Lester Davis, the mayor’s spokesman. The figure also marks five years in a row that the number of homicides has been over 300, according to the Baltimore Sun’s homicide database. It’s also close to the highest number of homicides ever recorded in the city in one year: 353, in 1993.

    Maybe they should make murder illegal. It’s worth a shot.

  33. Rebel Scum

    In my inebriated state last night I forgot that salsa/hot sauce doesn’t mix well with alcohol for me. The Chinese I had earlier in the night was worse coming up than going down. Needless to say, the hotel staff is not going to be happy with me. Anyway, happy new year!

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Haha, just kidding. It’s teh GUNZ.

    In an op-ed published in the Sun, Young lays out his plan, which focuses on identifying and charging gun crimes and holding weekly case reviews with the police department and the State’s Attorney’s Office to examine homicides, non-fatal shootings and armed robberies. He says he has received pledges of support from the governor’s office and the federal government.

    Roving packs of sentient handguns (most likely from you-know-where) roam the streets of Baltimore looking for innocent victims. Oh, the humanity.

  35. Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

    Mormon gangster corpse leads authorities on epic DNA goose chase

    “He ended up having a lot of matches that were first cousins three times removed, which is very unusual in this type of scenario,” Bingham Redgrave said. “One by one we eliminated certain candidates and kept coming back to him.”

    • leon

      Polygamy! Saving you from the Federal DNA Inquisitions one marriage at a time!

    • AlmightyJB

      Voldemort?

    • Plinker762

      Was it a topless cave?

  36. Q Continuum

    So who does have the biggest cock in Hollywood?

    • Not Adahn

      Ask SIV.

    • PieInTheSky

      I am not sure urban chicken farming spread to Hollywood.

    • MikeS

      AFAIK, Tommy Lee.

  37. Not Adahn

    I took all remaining 2019 veggies and put them in the pressure cooker with broth. Let us see how “year-ending soup” turn out this year. It’s got a Jester squash, sweet potatoes, neeps and tatties. Well, just one tattie, and technically they’re “rainbow radishes” not turnips, but I defy anyone to look at them and tell me they’re not really turnips.

    • PieInTheSky

      I visited my mom today and I ate the family tradition very sour turkey soup. Always goes well after a long night, though my night was not that long. I did awake at 7 34 because some weird glitch caused my clock to set an alarm, which is weird cause I never set an alarm on that clock.

      • Not Adahn

        Had that weird thing where I passed out at 3:00 and woke up at five blazing hot because of overeating. Couldn’t get back to sleep until 7:00, then up again at 9:00.

        I don’t feel too bad at all, other than the aftereffects of too much salt.

    • leon

      She advocates horrible things, but i have to remember that 1. she’s a stupid teenager that doesn’t know anything, and 2. She’s been mentally abused by her parents, teachers and handlers. She clearly has been presented the information from an extreemist standpoint and believes that the world will end. However because she’s advocating for more government we should just shrug and not talk about how she’s been indoctrinated by an extremist cult.

    • Urthona

      i don’t believe she didn’t eat for 3 months.

    • Playa Manhattan

      “But to me, she’s now an ordinary child. She can do all the things like other people can”

      Then why isn’t she in an ordinary school like all of the other ordinary children?

  38. Don Escaped Lane Kiffen

    roll-call of DOOM

    2019 news?

    LH folded
    Gilmore still gone

    anyone else MIA ?

    • leon

      FOS stopped posting for some reason.

    • kbolino

      John Titor, Vhyrus, the good Dr. Groovus, and a few others…

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Outrage mob, ASSEMBLE!

    The selection of Donald Trump’s daughter and top adviser exposes the vast electronics expo to charges that when, finally, it invites a female keynote speaker, it invites one with limited experience in technology.

    “This is a terrible choice on so many levels but also – what an insult to the YEARS AND YEARS of protesting how few women were invited to keynote & being told it was a pipeline problem while similarly-situated men were elevated,” tech commentator Rachel Sklar tweeted. “There are so many great, qualified women. Shame.”

    Oh, the humanity!

    • leon

      Maybe Schiff should investigate why the daughter of the President was given a job she had no experience for…

    • Playa Manhattan

      Now do affirmative action hires.

    • Rhywun

      enduring gender bias

      Go fuck yourself.

  40. hayeksplosives

    To channel one of my fave public personalities, Craig Ferguson:

    It’s a great day in America, everybody!!

    Sunny and bright here in CA. I’m wearing the lush plushy red hooded robe that Santa surprised me with on Christmas.

    And by “Santa” I mean Amazon, and by “surprised me with”, I mean selected and ordered myself.

    So lux though…

  41. hayeksplosives

    Also, pro tip to any mythical libertarian womyn out there:

    As an alternative to wearing a slip under a dress, may I recommend the WinterSilks brand pure silk bloomers? They are fabulous and also prevent thigh chafing for those of a “certain size”.

    • hayeksplosives

      Dammit—they are now out of business. Good thing I have several pairs.

      Sigh.

      • Tres Cool

        Still need pics or it never happened

    • Mojeaux

      Can confirm bloomers are awesome, but I have Mormon magic underwear, so I’m covered.

      • Not Adahn

        *decides not tot take a swing at the hanging curve ball*

      • Sensei

        And Mojeaux’s answer and your reply are why I love this place.

      • Mojeaux

        I leave those there for y’all’s amusement like piñatas full of treats and you never take them.

        Me? Phrasing? What?

  42. Atreides

    Happy New Year, Glibs!

    I wish you a year with fewer laws, more freedom and a truly libertarian President.

    Ahh, geez, who am I kidding?

    • Mojeaux

      I only vaguely remember seeing your moniker, so I looked up your comment history so as not to embarrass myself with a welcome.

      Yet you are new to me.

      So fuck off, Tulpa.

      • Atreides

        Thanks, Mojeaux. It’s means a lot coming from The Worst.

        Happiness, health and success to you in the New Year.

  43. leon

    Bold Prediction for the next 20 years.

    Global Warming/ Climate Change will not be discussed anymore.

    • PieInTheSky

      doubtful

  44. The Late P Brooks

    I wish you a year with fewer laws, more freedom and a truly libertarian President.

    No pony?

    Fuck off, Tulpa!

    • Mojeaux

      Equines are of the devil.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    I have Mormon magic underwear, so I’m covered.

    Prude.

    • Playa Manhattan

      It’s full of holes.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, it is very holy.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Then why isn’t she in an ordinary school like all of the other ordinary children?

    I think she needs to be in a special school for special children.

    If you get my drift, and I think you do.

  47. dbleagle

    A beach full of “Have a great 2020” wishes to you all.

    Local tradition here is to have your own fireworks show to bring in the New Year. For 20 minutes surrounding midnight it sounded and looked like Berlin 1944 when the RAF was “visiting”. The local pets are not amused and for some reason owners forget this happens every freaking year. Only one neighbor dog ended up in my pool. Luckily I knew who she was and could return them.

    Listening to the surf on the local beach and preparing to go body surf. But Pie is correct. Something seems off with 2020, maybe it should be returned.

  48. Don

    Happy New Year all. As dbleagle said the fireworks were something else. Almost one continuous explosion for over 45 mins here in Central Oahu