https://www.ispot.tv/ad/7OQC/subaru-road-trip-song-by-bingo
“No, it worked great,” she told Gloria over the phone. “The ‘ran out of gas’ trick worked perfectly. He picked me up and drove me around. We got milkshakes and stopped at a produce stand. I went cowgirl this time, ponytail, a little eyeliner, buttoned-down shirt… Easy.”
“Does he look fertile?” Gloria rasped into the phone.
“As the day is long,” she replied.
“And healthy? He must be healthy,” Gloria demanded.
“This is not my first time at the rodeo, Gramma,” she said. She stripped off the shirt and kicked off the farm boots.
“Will he call? There are only two days left.”
“He’ll call. They always do. I gotta go,” she said.
“Health to you, child,” Gloria said, “And increase.”
“Health, foremother, and increase.”
She dropped the phone on the bed and took off her dusty jeans and plain underwear. She stood before her floor-length mirror and admired herself, the breasts just starting to droop, the slight paunch of her stomach. She took out the ponytail holder and shook her hair back and forth, turning it brunette, then blonde, then back to pale red.
“Men are simple beasts,” she whispered.
The tiny burner phone on the bed rang softly.
“I knew you’d call,” she said by way of greeting.
“How could I resist,” he replied, trying for a calm just out of his reach. “When can I see you again?”
“When do you want to see me again?” she asked, running her fingers through her pubic hair, watching herself in the mirror.
“What about tonight?”
“I’m busy tonight,” she told him, letting her voice go cold.
“What? Got a hot date?” he asked. There was disappointment in his voice and she shivered with pleasure.
“Yes,” she said cruelly. “He’s very hot. Tall, dark hair, but not pretty. I don’t like ‘em pretty. I want to know I’m with a man, you know?”
“Oh,” he said quietly. She rubbed that little “oh” in tight circles around her clitoris and bit her lip not to laugh.
“Big hands,” she said. “Rough. Works for a living, you know?”
“OK, well, I…” he said.
“But I’m free tomorrow night,” she said brightly.
“Is, uh, he, uh, is he going to have a problem with us going out?” he asked.
“No, he’ll be dead by then,” she said. He responded with a startled laugh.
“Oh, will he then?” he asked, warming to the game he thought she was playing.
“I’m going to spin him up in my web and drain him dry,” she whispered. “He’ll be a husk by the time you get up the nerve to call again.”
“So you’re a spider, now?” he asked.
“No, I’m not a spider,” she said.
“What are you really doing tonight?” he asked.
“Getting ready for you to pick me up, of course,” she said, squeezing the glands on either side of her pubic mound to stimulate the flow of venom.
“Seven?” he asked. “Is seven good for you?”
“Of course it is,” she said, rubbing the paralytic on her nipples and lips. “You drive. I’ll have my hands full.”
Fun fact: once when I was a werewolf, I had a Pina Colada at Trader Vic’s. My hair was perfect.
Did you get caught in the rain too?
I was at Li Ho Fut’s eating a big bowl of beef chow mein.
I was listening to the air conditioner hum.
It went; mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm….
Did you meet anyone’s tailor?
I’d like to.
He’s not a werewolf, he’s just an excitable boy.
Laughing in G11 while innocents stare
Only on this board would so many people know these songs so well. Libertarians are drawn to the weird in life.
I don’t know about that since we often discuss lawyers, guns, and money.
And fans.
???
Is it bad that Subaru commercials don’t make me want to buy a Subaru, but Subaru horror theatre does?
Get the WRX STI.
Who cares if the kids laugh at you.
Hand brake slides get you laid.
Scientific fact.
I like the wrx wagon, but I think they discontinued it.
Too fancy for used?
Lol, my truck is 10 years old. I’m far from fancy.
I love Subaru Horror Theatre
I mean if you have to die anyways.
These really are inspired.
I’ve taken to reading the story first then watching the commercial. It adds to the process.
Agreed
They’re amazing. I am in awe every time.
I’m disturbed by how many of these involve succubi of various forms.
You misspelled “aroused”
I just wrote 1200 words in the last hour, total record for me, and it’s legible!
First thing that comes to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeOevu4zC5o
Oh, Jeez! it’s actually a darker tale than that, it should get published here soon enough,
Another good one SF. I now have to watch every Suburu commercial I see on the teevee and think about what weird ass shit is going up underneath.
I’m sort of running out. I’ll have to move on to foreign commercials soon.
How about some VW loving?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJy9HdUC7nU
Trunk is in the front, add some fangs and malice.
malice
German vehicles are already a horror all by themselves.
Meh. My VW fleet is sort of scary, but the true horror lies in the Audi engines with the bizarre timing belt issues.
I don’t keep em past warranty.
? my GTI.
My VWs range from 2005 to 2015.. They’ve been great. If one pukes, I could throw it away and not feel bad.
Simple is good. Although the 2015 has DI and a dual clutch tranny, so I don’t expect that one to round the moon.
Complexity is the enemy.
I had a 2010 GTI, it was ok. It didn’t blow my skirt up for too long. I got rid of it early.
The 2018 still makes me smile every single day. It came with the fantastic 6/72 warranty.
I might keep it the full term. We’ll see.
I have a customer that just bought a Bentley Continental GT. It has the Audi W12 twin turbo engine. It has a bad catalytic converter. The engine has to come out, at 40 billable hrs, to change it. I’m going to suggest a starter while we’re at it because that is also an engine out procedure and what’s another $580 on top of $7,000-$9,000 for the converter. So English cars with German engineering may be worse than pure German.
On the other hand, a guy who can swing a Bentley can cover that bill.
“Continental GT W-12 coupe : $224,225”
I agree an owner who buys one new can probably swing it, but she bought a 2005 model used in Nov for $30k. I tried to warn her but she wasn’t going to hear it. She’s already bitching about the cost and I’m not gonna hear it.
I was just looking at Bentleys at Barrett-Jackson. Incredible cars, really good prices on 40K mileage 10+ year old cars.
But the maintenance. . . .
Damn! California forced me to pay 1500 bucks for cats on my TBSS and I bitched about that. Couple of hundred miles east of here and I could have bought A/M ones for 350.00 and slapped them on myself.
she bought a 2005 model used in Nov for $30k. I tried to warn her but she wasn’t going to hear it.
Ouch. You did warn her…
Don’t you think having a15 year old car cost more than some new autos ring alarm bells?
*shrug*
I really admire some of the cars you guys talk about, but simplicity and reliability will always trump good looks and fast times.
Just like with women.
Lots of foreign cars have that “no-go” zone for me wherein the timing belt calves and the pistons butt-fuck the valves. Looking at you, Honda… I had two mid-90s Jettas and they were pretty fine cars. Reliable until they just weren’t anymore.
The belts were only an issue from a financial standpoint. The parts to do the job cost as much as parts/labor to do the same job on a V6 Honda. I have an ’01 Audi S4 wagon with 230,000 miles. I just throw new belts/pulleys everytime I have the engine out for other stuff, which is way too frequently. When they went to chains in the mid-2000s, that is when the trouble really started. Putting the chain on the tail of the engine necessitating engine removal was even more inspired. That said, the timing chain routing in the Audi 4.2 V8 is artistic.
Are you suggesting I shouldn’t buy that diesel Porsche Cayenne? The one dealers had to have special lift to do any engine out service.
Artistic.
That’s one word for it.
You should pen some horror stories for us!
I had an 00 S4. That fucker needed a lot of warranty maintenance. And then I crashed it. Cuz some douche cut me off. Grrrrr.
So happy it was a lease.
2 sets of turbos, a six speed transmission, a hid headlight, dealership damaged a door, etc. A lot of fun, but a constant headache.
Yeah, I crashed our first S4 as well, then went out and bought another just like it. I’m a slow learner. I just did the turbos for the 3rd time, 10k miles ago. First time was on the dealers nickle, other 2 were on my nickle. Book time on that engine remove/replace is 30+ hrs. I’ve also had it out for valve seals and a head gasket (track day gone wrong).
Don’t buy a Cayanne Diesel, find a first Gen Toureg V10TDI. Those were a super bad-ass bad idea.
I think he could do something with this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qecwlrWnjqk
Oh my. So hard to pick a favorite!
This is up there with the doggo trying to tell its owner where her daughter can be found, and the one where the little girl’s parents want to break her of zoning out on the cell phone.
‘Course, there’s also the daughter leaving for college, and the one where… and and
That one with the doggo needs to be published. That fucker rocked my world.
Best of the lot, IMO. An edge of pathos. But the competition is all quality.
Of the lot the Dog one is the one that could (and should) hold it’s own outside of our warped Glibertarian world. Strip it of the Subaru horror bit and it’s still a short story for the ages. Not that SF’s other stuff isn’t great but much of it does require a certain familiarity with Glibertarianism to really get.
+1 for the dog one
Agreed. It should be taught in schools. Really moving, and as hyp says, is mostly stripped of the Suburu portion of the horror.
Yay! SHT! It’s like when a wee Festus swore up and down that he’d not watch “Night Gallery” and yet I always did! Going to watch now…
Well, I came back for this and I’m glad I did.
Nothing skeeves me out like Subaru Horror Theater.
Bravo. You are goddamn amazing.
“Health to you child” Gloria said “And increase!” He’s got a fucking gift.
I like writers who are so good that they make me want to never write again.
The dread communicated in so few words.
I shudder to think what a “foremother” is.
Like a foreskin but always bitching and harder to clean.
LOL!
Is there a mohel involved?
I had three nosebleeds today.
It’s been so dry here this winter, I’ve woke up a number of times with a bloody nose.
It ain’t the humidity, Spud.
Those days are loooong gone, thankfully.
I hear a lil crystal meth will help with clotting.
you heard that huh? be careful……
I’ll take “Drugs I Won’t Touch” for $500, Alex.
It’s a short list, but meth is on it.
Meth, PCP, heroin (again in powder form, or ever in stabby form). Probably some others but yeah, a short list.
I used to be a semi-well know speaker in AA. I knew this one guy for a few years and then he disappeared. A few years after that, I ran into him and he was all excited to see me. He told me I was his idol and he patterned his life after mine. He told me that he even went back out using and did a bunch of heroin, just to be like me. Then, I told him that I had never actually done any heroin. He musta jumped to that conclusion. He was all upset, telling me that he coulda skipped all that, if he only knew. It was pretty funny.
Saddest thing (not really) that I ever took part in was an NA dance. The forced jollity and conviviality. Plus I can’t dance unless I’m pretty shit-faced. I bailed out of there after about half an hour.
My husband won’t dance unless he’s got a few beers in him.
Since he doesn’t drink beer anymore, this is rather difficult.
Try tango. It is much easier to dance without chemical support. . . Much more dignified dancing style.
See, these were all “jittery” folk, so you see the basic conflict. Wild Childs dressed down to a middle school sock-hop. It was pathetic.
Well, the thing about the various “A’s” is they are quite diverse. If you don’t like one, you can try another. I was never really all that into the dances, but I hate DJ music and don’t really dance, so there’s that. But even meetings are no two alike. My first two years I went to a meeting that had bike night on Wednesdays. A hundred Harleys And various sober and/or outlaw club members. A mile down the road was the most plain vanilla meeting you could imagine, with mostly old people and geeks.
Small City be small. I knew half the people there. All old friends from the pit-party days.
Do I look okay without these three teeth?
Where’d the other ones go?
Are you a cop?
My nephew, who is a hospital pharmacist, says his hospital stocks cocaine as a coagulant.
Liquid cocaine in 10 & 15% strength. Dip a couple of swabs, stuff it in the nose, it shrinks the blood vessels.
During my ER rotation for paramedic school, a 70 something male came in with a chronic nosebleed. Packed it, five minutes later, he’s laughing at chatting up the nurses. 20 minutes later, he looked like he’d just lost his best friend.
*laughing and
LOL That’s right up my alley.
trying for a calm just out of his reach
Sugarfree’s been reading my mail.
Last thread, I gave you a list of female characters for your Hero or Asshole series.
That was excellent, BTW.
Thanks!
I could’ve done more but I’m on deadline.
Yeah, about that, I don’t read books/watch TV shows/Movies with female protagonists. So that’s going to be hard for me to work into the series. Also seeing as there are no libertarian women it’s obvious that there can be no libertarian heroines. I truly wish it were otherwise but that’s just science.
*peeks down at private parts*
If you say so…
He said science, don’t you know anatomy has nothing to do with gender?
I’m so confused…
I left out the “/prog” tag.
No, I understood your /sarc.
I’m just now completely confused by who is what, when, where, and how they’re labeled.
So. Many. Labels.
How about “it”? Can we all just be “it”?
Indeed.
Too bad. There are some wonderful short films on the web for free. Very,um, moving stories. Usually featuring a female protagonist or two and a plumber, pizza guy, angry landlord, or step brother.
He fixes the cable?
Don’t be fatuous…
i went to put on a song on YT, and saw this, and forgot what I wanted to hear , GRRRRR, cool tune….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUc0R8bbWQE
My favorite Prince tune. So good.
I like this one.
If we’re going down this particular rabbit
holewarren entrancetunnel…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V-vcXOpG9g
“the breasts just starting to droop, the slight paunch of her stomach”
Her self-esteem low, ripe for an opportunistic creep to flop into her life…
“So ya say you’ve got kids, Eh?” The handsome stranger gestured for another round and nudged his stool closer…
This guy gets it.
Someone certainly is…
SugarFree makes us better writers. This is known.
Yes, Papa.
Her voice is so Hawt!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDndZn0YPdI
I just don’t get you, Bob! One moment you’re geeking out over models and toys, the next its Grampy Joy and then you pull the rug out by turning into mini Techno-Viking. Interesting people are interesting.
I cannot Die! so ya gotta do something,
NB: Bob is a Highlander
THE, not A, there can only be one……………
What’s the generic name for people of that ilk?
I’m also a Motherfuckin’ musical genius, like this guy,
why I play Ukelele,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puSkP3uym5k
Nice! I guessed what that was when you used “Ukelele” and “genius”.
That’s still mind-blowing after all these years.
I had the pleasure to meet him at NAMM 2010, nice guy, I learned that the Uke is a fine instrument, not a toy
Uke is a fine instrument, not a toy
his, in particular (and that’s not even his actual uke)
That is the first time I have ever liked hearing a ukelele.
You will hear my Elton songs when they hit YT, it works musically…
Heard that guy on the local independent radio station.
I watched this video on youtube when it came out. I ordered four of Jake’s CD on Amazon when the video ended. They were worth every penny.
I thought you were going Lucky Uke. I lose.
I prefer doing everything, all at once
Speaking of the TechnoViking: The best mix EVAR!
Jeebus. 24 hours of Sugarfree? What fresh Hell is this?
And it was all solid. I liked it. And now I feel . . . lost.
Think of it like BUD/S Hell Week.
But shorter.
And worse.
Reading SugarFree equates to constant sand in your shoe and blistering jock itch?
Only of you’re lucky.
Don’t read it, just wait til now and make comments and point to links, ignore the SF in the room…..
/Hail SF!
We’re not worthy.
I was bitching to myself about how long it took me to peel and slice 8 apples, but I also used a potato peeler to do the slicing instead of a paring knife because I wanted to get the slices good and thin.
It was worth it, people. It was so, so worth it.
But was it?
Seeing as how Dutch apple pie is my husband’s favorite pie and I was making it for him for no reason whatsoever except I felt like making my husband something nice…
No, not really.
Oh. Um…
This may be inappropriate but do you want to get married?
Something, something, Mormon, something.
*dons temple garment*
Are you asking?
Sure, sure. I post cake a pie pictures (and more), but do I get a proposal? Noooo. It’s ok, it’s fine.
To each their own – I am a libertarian after all – but cake people are trash.
Pie people are my people.
Pie or die.
I like cake.
This cake is my favorite. For real.
Proposal rescinded.
MONSTER!!!
That’s a Lutheran church potluck classic
What’s that you all say around here? Don’t stick it in the crazy?
Mourn for my husband.
I used to respect you.
Sooner or later, I rub everybody the wrong way.
. . . do I get a proposal?
Only ’cause the spousal unit would make short work of me if I did . . .
The guy who created The Man Show now cries on tv for a living.
Sorry Mormons did Polygamy, it’s Lhasa that had the Polyandry.
I was working on a polyandry story in the context of Mormonism, but:
1) I found out someone else had done it long ago, better than I could, and
2) The “reverse harem” subgenre was just getting started and I decided I didn’t like it. No man who’d share a woman he loved could be an alpha.
It is strongly biologically disfavored and (possibly as a result) in conflict with strong forces in psychology. It is interesting to me that it did take hold in that one corner of the globe.
Nothing wrong with banging your brothers’ wife.
Also, that makes the inverse of sister wives work so well. Brother husbands.
*checks rules-sheet*
We need to have a word.
Lol.
I was referring only to the cultural practices of Nepal, where bothers would apparently marry the same woman.
This also happened in Hindu mythology. With the 5 Pandavas marrying the same woman, who they shared on turns.
That story precipitated a practice where Hindu wives marry the sun, stars, sky and sea (or something) as well as the husband on her wedding day (5 total marriages apparently being allowed).
Done that! Wait! Is this not the NA meeting? /backs slowly out of the room
Mandoline.
Don’t cut your fingertips off.
Hornsby rocked balls, bro.
That’s a great tune.
Maybe but my older brother overplayed it so I can’t stand it any more.
‘Penis Man’ Speaks, Says He’s Just a Copycat: ‘I Thought It Was a Good Message’
Trump’s America, people. Trump’s America.
Oh what the fudge?!??!?
Not the historic Hayden Flour Mill!!
Motherfucker…
Indeed.
And the least expensive one is probably one of the absolute best: https://www.amazon.ca/Benriner-Japanese-Mandoline-Slicer-Green/dp/B0000VZ57C
We got the Oxo as a wedding present:
https://www.amazon.ca/OXO-Good-Grips-Mandoline-Slicer/dp/B0000DAQ8B
I often wish I just had one of those simpler ones.
I have that exact one but it wasn’t nearly that expensive. Maybe 50 bucks?
But more importantly, it’s complete shit.
Anything with the diagonal blade like the Benriner is 1000x better. Even the ten buck POS knockoff I bought later.
It’s discontinued and that’s CDN, so not real money.
It works well-enough for my infrequent uses, but I’ll have to try one of those diagonal blade versions.
New, non-discontinued versions are always available. Exact same design. Don’t mess with perfection. I gave the link just so’s people would know what they’re looking for. And if you buy it in an Oriental food store, it’s dirt cheap.
Huh. That looks like one I picked up at the thrift store. I’ll be damned if I know where it is, though.
Where’s my son…?
Anyone that still has that bulky, useless finger guard thing that came with their mandolin is a wuss. Cuts heal, America has the best home cook to doctor ratio in the world and chicks dig scars.
I never use that stupid thing.
Why do you need a fingerguard for a Mandolin?
You don’t, that’s what I was saying.
A Mandolin is a stringed instrument, not a cooking device, no matter what you may have heard,
Yusef’s got you there, Hyp.
Mh, th rason thy ar calld mandolins is bcaus thy look lik mandolins and I’m not wasting xtra “”‘s just bcaus you popl don’t nglish.
And I am a Human Meatsicle
I first read that as testicle
“But you’ll bruise the fruit!” Grandma said. “Look, we can either get these pies in the oven or we can stand here arguing about technique! Twenty pies, Grandma. Every day!” Actual kitchen spat that I had with Marjory, my Grandmother who trained me.
“Bruised fruit is why we make pies, Grandma.”
She was trained by the army back in the WWII days. My pie crusts were better than hers because I rolled them thinner. Lost her recipe for that. She never did give up her clam chowder recipe, it died with her. Nowadays I can’t cook for shit having very little sense of taste left. Everything is over salted. Used to be a great source of joy in life to cook for the people that I love.
I don’t really like cooking at all. I only do it when I feel somebody in my family needs a little extra love.
I cook for myself, Wendy doesn’t care half the time….
My wife doesn’t like cooking either. I love it. In that respect, It sucks that she’s the stay at home mom and I’m the guy rolling in at 7:30 every night.
Yeah, it seems to me it would be fair if she would at least do some of the prep for you.
Chrissake. Hitler’s in the White House starting WW6 and setting up extermination camps, the Royal Family is destroying the monarchy, coronavirsus is about to kill us all long before the climate does in 10 years, it is no longer safe to be a Jew or a Muslim or an Hispanic in Deplorable American, and the greatest human of all time died Sunday morning, and you are baking a frigging Dutch apple pie. What’s wrong with you?
Could I get some vanilla ice cream with that?
I need ice cream.
🙂 Great minds.
And the pie still has to be warm.
Otherwise it’s necrophilia.
Exactly. And that’s just perverted.
Penguins ain’t natural.
I agree, crumb topped pies lose the best part of the pie (or worst if done badly)
:shrugs:
Well, I quit Smoking, mostly, doing the Vape again, I have the Juul thing, which is OK, and I can hack them, but I got a pair of larger pens, so maybe I can leave Cigars behind, i can’t breathe anymore, and seeing my sweet Wife like she is, fuck it, I’m done.
I love cigarettes and dream of them and want to smoke again and not smoking cigarettes is the best thing you can do.
You just feel better.
Suck it up for a month and you will happier.
Enjoy the not coughing all the time any more! I know I do.
I already do…
thanks Rhy!
Also, the not huffing and puffing after a long walk.
My delivery system pops when it’s loaded up. I don’t like putting that near my face for highly personal reasons. I’ve watched the videos and everyone seems happy blowing out a huge cloud after every draw. I tried turning the thing down but I can’t get past that pop.
I just puff, the Cloud thing is dumb and wasteful, and I walk at least a mila a day now, either Bella, or golf, or both, I feel better already
I just use Juul and similar (Myle, Vuse). None of that hipster cloud shit.
Too much juice loaded, don’t fill it to the top….
Euphemism?
Gay porn flashbacks?
Think darker and more fatal.
Gay snuff-film flashbacks?
…….80’s gay porn flashback?
Worse. I knew you guys would poke fun but I did try to off myself when I was a kid. I flinched and my teeth were strong. It’s not like i have PTSD about anything else.
JFC. I’m glad that didn’t work out for you.
I dunno, man… flinching saved your life, whereas that AIDS shit hangs on.
But, fist bumps for you; I have my scars, as well.
DEVO!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTNGg0Tj5Aw
““Is this science not misleading me when it requires me to accept the frightful blasphemy that this dilemma implies? How can I dare take it upon myself to make such a doctrine the basis of the laws of a great nation? And when a long succession of illustrious scholars has drawn more reassuring conclusions from the same science after devoting their entire lives to its study; when they assert that freedom and the general welfare are perfectly compatible with justice and peace, and that all these great principles run parallel to one another and will do so through all eternity without ever coming into conflict, do they not have on their side the presumption that stems from all that we know of the goodness and wisdom of God, as manifested in the sublime harmony of the physical universe? In the face of such a presumption and so many impressive authorities, am I, after a merely cursory investigation, to believe that this same God saw fit to introduce antagonism and discord into the laws of the moral universe? No; before concluding that all the principles of social order run counter to and neutralize one another and are in anarchic, eternal, and irreconcilable conflict; before imposing on my fellow citizens the impious system to which my reasoning has led me; I intend to review every step in the argument and make sure that there is not some point along the route where I have gone astray.””
See, even God believes in free trade. -Bastiat.
Most the rest of the book is better, but I really enjoyed that passage.
When I am at my most stuck and confused, when I don’t feel like I can make a decision, I always think, “God is a god of order, not a god of confusion. If I am confused, it is not of God.” Generally, this works for me.
That’s a nice way to think.
After having a kid I find religion, especially real belief much more understandable.
The media establishment would have you believe that by being a mother you deserve to be arrested.
I love Florida
::Checks link::
Fuuuuuuuuuuck
Back to the drawing board.
That’s a rough 37.
Not in a million last calls. Nossirreebob.
JAM A LIME DOWN YOUR THROAT
Poor Corona.
Shitty beer and now this.
Drink Modelo like a real Mexi for Pedro’s sake.
Does Modelo offer a low-carb version? No? Then Corona Premium will have to suffice.
Hear me out here – you could not drink beer? There’s a world of carb-free libations out there…
And none of them worth a tinker’s damn.
Well, other than White Claw, which I enjoy immensely.
White Claw – a.k.a., vodka soda. If you’re drinking at home – you’re a Glib, so that’s a “yes” – you can just roll your own. Splash of lemon/cherry juice/whatever moves it from no-carb to low carb, but you’re still in business.
Plus there’s a whole world of lovely booze out there, all of it carb free.
I was hoping they’d say the virus looks like a corona beer bottle under a microscope
Buffalo’s finest.
Paging Dr. Q, Dr. Q to the white courtesy phone.
Not sure if serious, but that is a straight up buffalo 10.
Right?
We may be dumb, ugly, and poor, but at least we make good neighbors. -Buffalo
Should I know who this is?
Some chick with a healthy rack that is going to be slathered in Solarcaine come the eve?
Manhattan DA Indicts Cleanup Firm, Execs, MTA Ex-Official in Bribery Scheme
Shocking!
OFFS. Ten million bucks is couch-cushion money compared to all the waste and fraud that goes on in the MTA.
Well that company lost all their contracts so at least there’s that.
So by bid rigging, they underbid their competitors and cost taxpayers less?
Don’t step on the narrative
Only if they actually delivered on what they said they would.
I mean, other than the bribes, of course.
Is there anyone more evil who has run for president than Warren? Maybe Wilson or FDR but in recent memory I’m drawing a blank.
Jackson?
Jackson? Wuh?
Trail of tears? When you know how esteemed he was by the Cherokees before that it becomes even worse.
Given the unrest at the time, Jackson acted to save both the Cherokee (along with other native tribes) and the Union. Van Buren was President when the Cherokee were force-marched.
Jesse or Andrew?
Samuel L.
Janet?
Bo?
Hillary Clinton.
Warren doesn’t have a body count or an automatic assumption of #Arkancide made when someone close to her dies. If they did. Which they haven’t.
Fair point. But as awful as she is, I can’t see her gutting the Constitution to the same degree that Liz wants to.
Sure, but Clinton would just go around it, do whatever, and have the 9th Circuit back her up, which would accomplish the same thing (gutting the Constitution) (and if you say Supreme Court, remember Justice Penaltax), only a little more slowly and more insidiously. And then some people mysteriously suicide themselves.
Warren’s just telling you what she’s going to do and thinks that should make her electable and then will wonder why it doesn’t.
I suppose Clinton is more duplicitous. Add her to the list!
She’s a piker. Moving those elbows in some semblance of semaphore that might win her the primary and later , the election. She doesn’t believe in anything, really.
Gus Hall, Lyndon LaRouche, Ed Clark (as per Walter Cronkite), David Duke?
My generation’s Columbus Day
The Penis Man link was fun. So fun.
Bravo SF! Short and, ummmm, mildly revolting.
For the “Libertarian Hero or Asshole” series I submit Captain Nemo
Canon question: was he banging Helen Mirren on the beach between voyages?
Canon, or, ‘cannon’?
Young Helen? Cannon.
If I said you earned another bump, it may convey the wrong meaning. So, high-fives!!!
Ellen.
This is what happens when you live in a dictatorship.
“I just felt like ice and like snow and like pebbles and stuff.”
Gotta be a Porn-Hub channel…
They were, like, leaving, like, a, like, head shop. Be, like, nice and stuff. Gawd.
I don’t miss the accents of Long Island.
Where I live everyone of a certain age sounds like a mix between Texas, Minnesoda and Birmingham. Ya don’t say something, ya SAY it. Tiresome.
I confess that I still love a classic Boston accent (they’re becoming rarer).
Well, Bill Burr made it cannon that there is a space Boston, so I guess that will be preserved by autists who will create a whole world for them.
Bill Burr made it cannon that there is a space Boston
¿que?
On the Mandalorian series–he played a bad guy by essentially being himself in SW gear.
He was on the Mandalorian, and no attempt was made to hide his accent. And Star Wars SOOPER FANS always feel the need for a backstory for everything, so there is going to be a space Boston at some point.
I now want to see A New Hope redone entirely with actors with strong Boston accents.
Hip hip,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTNGg0Tj5Aw
Thought it would be this one. https://youtu.be/erG5rgNYSdk
Just for fun! https://youtu.be/ZbaoHwRX7BQ I’m old enough to remember young tomatoes wearing dresses like that but young enough to recall the confusing feelings.
I’m Guitar George, He knows, all the chords,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyF1FwiYcoQ&list=RDHVHUjzZZGQ4&index=2
I love playing Bass to this, it’s Fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLJtO_iRbA8
Yesterday, I revealed the existence of the hurdy gurdy. Today, I will reveal the existence of the marble machine.
I got into the marble ting yesterday, I shall not return, too many addictions already….
That was actually pretty cool.
Huh. Peak hipster does exist.
Next time, introduce the boomwhackers!
Yep….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZhfFXEMMI4
Great tune – song of my youth.
I know I posted this semi-recently, but it’s just so stuck in my head.
I’m going through songs Wendy and the kids listened to…We were cool Parents but still dicks..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNHGT-neTes
No kidding slum, I can see how that could stuck in your head.
Motherfu…
this song
Umm.
That’s some solid blue-eyed soul. Plus that guitar.
You’d enjoy this type of tune I think slum, if you don’t know it already.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPFDMdIGiHE
Nice – sort of thing I listen to while working.
Yep, you’re a Groove Salad guy, I think I got that one from Secret Agent Radio.
SXM has that on in the last day or so.
Love that avatar GL.
Sailing…takes me away to where I’m going.
It’s Maurice Colbourne in Howard’s Way
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howards%27_Way
A non sequitur sample that works for me.
Here’s my silliness,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U8mZuTibuM
Meh. It’s all about that sample.
I enjoyed this take on it.
That is indeed an excellent cover, but Simply Red’s was just sampling, not covering.
Anyhoo, speaking of Cee Lo…
Okay, I’m working. Husband’s asleep. I’ve got to stop listening to R&B.
You can call me Cookie..
does this count as R&B?
Better Janet.
Good tune.
I’m more of a Rhythm Nation era.
https://youtu.be/bnxVsRxY-IE
I am a Janet Jackson squeeing fangirl.
Rhythm Nation was an excellent album, every single track.
janet. has very hot stuff.
But Velvet Rope is for a long night of love.
I’m just getting ready, I hate to say it….
If I were there, I would hug you tight.
Be here, at Glibs, this place is the only reason I’m not dead,
/I’m good..
Getting ready for what?
There’s a train a coming. You don’t need no ticket. You just get on board.
This was my Family Song, we all sang it in the car!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ht5RZpzPqw
I had no idea these guys,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ht5RZpzPqw
were these guys, from 1995,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7OvPTmhtiY
very SF,
I was working a few blocks away from a pretty good fishmonger today so I grabbed a pound of wild shrimp on the way home for dinner. Cooked them up with plenty of garlic and butter and mushrooms and served with some yellow rice. It’s not like this is new to me, but once again I was amazed at the difference between farmed and wild shrimp ?. There really is no comparison I think, the wild version is heads and tails above the farmed crap. I love all seafood, but I don’t even much bother with farmed shrimp at this point, they don’t taste nearly as good. Wild ones are like mini lobsters ?. So damn good.
What about farmed crappie?
I don’t mind farmed fish at all, salmon is better wild as well, but there isn’t quite the difference between wild and farmed as shrimp.
You said it was crap, so…
Jelly af, I love fresh Crayfish! Shrimp!
Give me everything out the sea ?. I have a place that sells ten types of live oysters ? in tanks that I go by once a month or so, from 85 cents to 1.25 per, depending on type. I shuck about a hundred a year. Raw or broiled with garlic butter, eat em up yum.
Lobster is for poors.
When I lived in the marina a local tuna boat would tie up on the other side of the harbor and sell fresh tuna for $4 a pound. I used to walk over there and buy 5 pounds at a crack. By the time I walked back to my boat there would only be 4 pounds left.
We pulled this out the sea a few hours (and many beers) before.
https://imgur.com/a/sleTGyY
I remember the difference between Dungeness crab and wild prawn is about three hundred feet as the rope pulling goes.
Great song, and that Cherry red P bass is beautiful!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg
WOOOO!!!
3 little pigs,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gtffv9bpB-U
More Cereal,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s2P9XZ7_YY
Aren’t you hungry?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fdQgESYSt8
I have loved this for 30+ years,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-MTO9gHmqY
I wanna Die!
I’ve spent the last 20 years keeping people out of nursing homes. But that has left me with offspring to do the same for me.
left me with no offspring
Well Sarah, your Dead….
Death comes soon enough, no need to wish for it to speed up, you blink twice and half of it has gone by.
I’m spooked with the Wifes issues, but death is the last option, Life!
Unless you’re a Hindu or a Buddhist you get but one!
Shit. I pulled onto the four lane today and I was so sure about clear lanes coming from the left that I went ahead and did it. Driving along there were many traffic just blasting down the road that I might have missed. It happens just like that.
Many years ago I was driving my pickup about 60 on the freeway with two friends (one of which was in the camper shell bed) coming back from a nearby beat up 9 hole golf course. I was momentarily blinded by a light flash and I blinked a few times and looked in my side view mirror. There was a set of taillights moving away from me at a high rate of speed. The fucker must’ve been doing 80 in the fast lane next to me the wrong way. Ten seconds later a number of cop cars and ambulances came flying up the other side of the freeway. Two lanes over. It’s actually lucky that I’d had a couple beers on the course and had been driving under the limit and thus not in the fast lane.
Now it applies…
Really, listen to the lyrics, it’s very well said,
Fuck it, one of the best unheard Punk bands ever, DRI, please listen, if you like punk metal,
entire album,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Jhof6EI8g
Update, for anyone listening, Wendy went from a hospital to a SNF, then back to a hospital, on a ventilator, I don’t know, but it’s not good, i fear I’m losing her..
I’m so sorry, Bob. {{{hug}}}
what kills me, is I’m ready, i have anxiety and hard core guilt about taking care of myself, and I’m pretty lost right now….
I’mma be here for a while tonight. Got lots to do.
I don’t know what Sunday Night Football has to do with all this, but you’re in my thoughts.
SNF = Skilled Nursing Facility
Thank you Mo
I send some good thoughts your way as well Roberto.
well thank you, as I said,I pray she makes it, reason tells me she’s not,
/Sad Panda
Shit.
Hospital calls me at 4 am,
“your Wife going to the ER”
6 am, Property management texted, “sorry Bob, we are selling the property you live in, that we just signed a lease with you,
Yay! life!
Best wishes, Bobber.
I do keep afloat somehow…
My God, Yu-Bob–I cannot understand how all of this shit lands on you, no matter what! I so want to suggest suing the property owner/manager right to Hell for breaking your lease like that.
Anyways, you have my utmost empathy, and support in all of this.
Oh, yeah?? Well, just wait until he goes through menopause!
Drugs fell out your ass. But I didn’t comment then. So women never do sex crimes? Huh, someone should tell all those teacher of the year recipients that are in jail now.
Oh, so that’s how it is, eh? You won’t even help a brother out when the drugs
fallslide…/I have no idea what that’s referring to, btw.
‘Drugs fell out your ass’ is the new glibspeak for reposting a news story that has been covered. And I didn’t comment the other time’s it was posted. Geez grandpa, you aren’t hip to our jamz.
When was it posted? Er, uh, Sonny?
Earlier today. I think it was Count Potato comment.
What’s this “earlier” you speak of? How can anything exist prior to my awareness?
/Yeah, I know the drug/ass reference; I was one of the first to link it. Well, somewhere close to the first. I think…
The perfect Glib story. One more posting won’t hurt.
https://wrif.com/2019/05/23/a-man-shoots-himself-in-the-junk-and-drugs-fall-out-of-him-during-surgery/
It’s different when they’re hot.
not clicking, not in the mood, thanks though!
For Bob https://youtu.be/55q2rRh5UUU Sorry for your troubles, man.
I’m more in the mood for a Nocturne, a gentler Tambre, as it were,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6b3swbnWg
A bit of Bach, by way of Segovia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcGt9AFlIPY
I saw that earlier. I can’t stand civil commitment laws. Having said that, I dealt with pedophiles many moons ago. I have a bad feeling this is going to blow up in the near future.
If I were a pedophile and was self aware, the hardware store isn’t far away and rope by the foot is pretty affordable.
Two ways to interpret that.
You are turning Japanese!
I’m not big on them either, but, I do see them, in some instances, as being along the lines of parole. But, without all that pesky ‘beyond a reasonable blah blah’ mishegoss.
Yeah, I do think it’ll blow up sooner or later. Also, I’m struck by the talk of hormonal/testosterone usage in determining the possibility of recidivism. We hear constantly that sexual assault are about power, to the total exclusion of any kind of sex drive. That seems to point to a counter-narrative.
I’m distinguishing between sex offenses and pedophilia. They overlap but aren’t the same.
This “woman” is preop. If she stops taking the meds then we’re right back where we began except she is out in the community. Oh, and she has a dick.
Ah, point taken–I’m just about any/all sex offenses (conflation FTW!) and how they are handled, in the legal-psych community.
Got it.
OK–when you say you “got it”….you mean, you got it? Or, you GOT IT?
We aren’t gonna have to civilly commit you, are we?
Both.
https://youtu.be/bTvrLUopM4g
I was kinda expecting Armageddon It.
Then, I realized who I was talking to, and this makes much more sense.
Listened to the republicans and their attacks on Hunter. They keep pointing out that he had no experience in the oil industry, didn’t speak Ukrainian, etc. It’s a mistake. There are execs that are hired outside of their fields, you don’t need to speak Ukrainian. The repubs should be making team blue/the media to give one possible reason Burisma hired him in the first place.
Mitt Romney comes to mind, good point,
Yep. Always on defense even when you’re on offense.
Fucking carpetbagger.
Member when Sideshow Bob kept stepping on those rakes? Raperage Farms remembers…
Yeeeesh!
I liked there Carrot Cake…
Don’t blush now, Diggy! I went to the dark side waaaay up-thread.
Oh, I’m up there with ya, Papa.
Party apparatchiks or pundits?
It’s getting a different reception stateside. People widely acknowledge Hunter got the gig because of cronyism.
And then nothing happened because Orange Man Bad won again!
As they should. I’m just talking about how to frame the discussion so that everybody hears it over and over until it gets through their thick skills. Make the defend Hunter, not defend your accusations against him. Is this making sense?
Yes. It’s just that I think the conversation here has two distinct strains. First is Team Blue claiming Hunter Biden isn’t relevant to impeachment. It’s a poor argument given their accusations but there it is.
Second is Team Red assuming everyone recognizes Hunter Biden was unqualified. The only public figure I’ve heard try to defend him is Joe Biden. I’m not aware of any other Democrat or Dem media sympathizer trying to defend him; not even MSNBC. I’d say Team Red’s assumption is a safe one.
Here’s the presser I saw that made me think of that. The reporter makes the attacks I was referring to.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L7_ZsvXQuwI
Bout to head off to bed, but I will say Ted Cruz sure got over eating a booger on live TV and having Trump accuse his dad of being the Zodiac Killer quite well.
Not a booger. It was a bit of fish from lunch. Or, a mobile cold sore.
That took an interesting turn.
https://dailycaller.com/2020/01/29/ice-requiring-warrants-for-illegal-alien/
Do you have patience? can you handle an album?
The Planets,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Isic2Z2e2xs
Hi Adahn!
Used rather well in Aliens. And, Star Wars.
Holy shit–Die Hard used an unused snippet of one of the original scores from Aliens…
Wha?
INORITE?!
Most of the music from the movie “The Right Stuff” is parts of “The Planets”.
Well, Holst really nailed it with the music and naming, so it all ends up making great sense.
Whole fryers were $.86/lb at Costco…bought 4 packs to quarter up and that is a hell of a lot cheaper than buying otherwise.
Also both kids sick..we may have corno sars bird flu
Where I live, it’s cheaper to buy already-cut-up chickens. It makes no sense to me, but it’s convenient since I can’t cut up a chicken for shit. I can spatchcock it, but not correctly cut it up.
Normally boneless breasts are about 1.99/lb. So it just made sense because i have two 14 yr old goats in the house
I’m still confused that slab bacon is more per pound than sliced bacon from the local meat company. What!?
Mo – Shipping. Processed chickens take up less space in the refrigerated truck. Other than the delmarva pennensula, I don’t know where the major chicken raising areas are.
CPRM – most people buy precut bacon, so the process is geared to producing and packaging rasher packs. The added price on slab bacon is to make it worth their while and as an additional hedge against spoilage.
There may also be some of the second answer in Mojeaux’s pricing as well.
Intended consequences?
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/suspect-on-the-run-after-ny-judge-ignores-states-controversial-bail-reform-law
NO!! Perish the thought, young man!
Eva Green is a Goddess https://youtu.be/ypBgxpxC-u8 Minerva maybe.
Yes, and, my maternal great-grandparents were the Greens…
/damn…
Your great-grandma is hot.
Was, sir. Was hot. At least, as far as my great-grandfather was concerned. I think…
Now I must mount you, Sir Digby Green lest other footpads be about!
Wait, wait, wait….it’s the cry of someone else wanting me to mount them.
If you’re worried about brigands and such, do what us Freedom McEagles do, and carry a bazooka.
Also, not a Green, even genetically. Adoption, and such.
Let slip the dogs of war!
Due to a supply mixup, we only have Pomeranians. Will that still be acceptable?
UCS, are you telling us someone screwed the pooch on the dogs?
My little Peanut-Pom sez “Yep”!
You really are riled up, aren’t ya?
?
Meh.
Soon….
That would make a great gif where he just slowly slides out.
Absolutely.
/just like the drugs
Is that a threat?
/Preet
You joke, but, only Preet is smart enough to determine that.
Too much Chicken!
Never too much! Unless it’s over or under cooked. I’ve done both in the last week. Sometimes I wish that nice South Asian lady would have overdosed me when she put me under. The cadence of their talk is mesmerizing. Me, waking up – “uhhh, this again?”
kay. I’m out. Good night you Princes of Maine…
Wait–am I included in that? Did I just get a promotion?
You didn’t let me finish.
Ewww!!
Well, after a bout of insomnia, I’m at work. Part 2 of Banker of Stirnberg drops today, and I forgot to read up on what happens in that one.
Good morning! Looking forward to Part 2. And I downloaded Telling Lies for Fun and Profit but haven’t had time to start reading it yet. It looks as if this writer has several books on writing. Have you read any of the others?
I have not. I also find his older works are better in general than the stuff produced more recently. Mostly because he let his politics creep into newer materials.
***SIGH!!!*** It’s become ever thus, it seems. As for the Telling Lies book, I figured out quickly that one could spend a fortune on books about writing, so I really appreciate the recommendation of one that’s worthwhile.
I recommended it because I found it entertaining.
Whether or not it helps with writing is a different question. But that’s what beta readers* and practice are for.
*Used in the context of software beta testers, not in the alpha/beta sociological context.
https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2020/01/29/internet-cant-get-enough-of-ben-afquack-the-drumming-duck-from-minnesota/
I need moar coffee.
Lies, I’ve had enough, and this is the first I’ve heard of it.
I need to check in more during the weekdays. I miss too much. Excellent!