Sunday Morning Links of Despair

by | Jan 12, 2020 | Daily Links | 366 comments

Don’t say a word. Don’t say a fucking word. I have a catbutt and a hangover. The only bright spot was seeing a midget on the sideline.

When going through Wikipedia’s birthday page, I’m always struck by the number of tokens with entries there. I guess if someone’s “group” is “underrepresented,” extremely thin accomplishment is sufficient for inclusion. Fuck that, here’s birthdays of many, many actually important people: the original conservative; an absolute shithead who could still write a helluva short story; a guy blandly described as a “German politician”; a guy blandly described as an “Estonian-German architect”; a famous drunk; a guy who fattened up every cop in Canada; one of Obama’s early promoters; a candidate for simultaneously the dumbest and most corrupt member of congress; a guy who is insanely popular and I find absolutely unlistenable; ditto; a parody of bad “journalism”; and a guy who has skimmed most of SP’s and my money. Voluntarily, of course.

News now.

 

Is this considered meddling?

 

Snowflakes, everywhere you look.

 

It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Slowly.

 

This brings out my not-so-inner geek.

 

There are things in this world I’ll never understand.

 

This is the sort of thing that gives me hope for today’s youth.

 

This has not been a good thing for Arizona or Texas. Or Montana. Or Idaho.

 

I hope he romaines in jail.

 

Old Guy Music continues my football theme with a song about a retired guy. Spot the Packers references. Statz is a delightful songwriter and a damn nice fellow.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

366 Comments

  1. Grumbletarian

    I hope he romaines in jail.

    Lettuce not risk the wrath of a narrowed gaze.

    • Tulip

      Damn it! I was so close

      • Ted S.

        You’re all going to get a dressing down for your puns.

      • Suthenboy

        Gah! me too. I was in the middle of composing and had to stop and tend to a dog crisis.

      • Ted S.

        As long as it didn’t require surgery….

      • Suthenboy

        I put out cat food every morning for front porch cat. As the kibble goes into the SS bowl it makes a sound and the neighbor’s dogs 1/4 mile away can hear it. They come running. I finally figured that out so I sneak the food into the bowl but they can still hear me unlock the front door, open and close it and they know what I am up to. Two mins after I go back in they show up.
        So, I blocked off the area where the bowl is but defeating three Catahoulas is no small task.
        In the middle of my typing I heard them trying to defeat my defenses and had to run out and shoo them off. Of course they figured out a while back that I am bluffing so while I wave my arms and shout “Go home! Go! Get out of here!” they just fall down, roll on their backs and wag their tails.
        You cant win with the world’s most successful parasites.

      • Ted S.

        Doesn’t sound like a crisis to me. 😉

      • Suthenboy

        You aren’t buying the cat food.

      • sloopyinca

        You live next to the Bumpus family?

      • Nephilium

        He could just be staying there.

      • Rhywun

        Well, I never!

        /millionth of a mom

    • SDF-7

      I slaw what you both did there, but will leaf it be.

      • sloopyinca

        I’m green with envy.

    • Swiss Servator

      All of y’all.

      *NARROWS GAZE*

      • Grumbletarian

        I relish the peril.

  2. Tulip

    Lettuce say that Swiss will be narrowing his gaze at you.

      • mindyourbusiness

        No, I et an hour ago.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    The conservative group One Million Moms is accusing Burger King of “crossing the line” over an Impossible Whopper commercial that uses the “D-word.”

    “Burger King is airing a commercial that uses profanity to advertise its Impossible Whopper — a burger made from plants instead of beef,” the group’s website reads. “The language in the commercial is offensive, and it’s sad that this once family restaurant has made yet another deliberate decision to produce a controversial advertisement instead of a wholesome one.”

    ——-

    “One Million Moms finds this highly inappropriate. When responding to the taste test, he didn’t have to curse,” the group said. “Or if, in fact, it was a real and unscripted interview in which the man was not an actor, then Burger King could have simply chosen to edit the profanity out of the commercial.”

    That’s fucking retarded.

    • Ted S.

      And here I thought the Million Mom March was a lefty thing trying to disarm people.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I think it was my realization during the anti-porn crusades of the early 1980s that there was absolutely no difference between the goals of Moral Majority types and leftist feminists that put me into the intellectual clutches of libertarianism. Plus ca change…

    • Suthenboy

      I dont pay attention to that kind of idiocy any more because…who cares? They dont have the kind of power that the leftist idiocy has. People burned out on that nonsense long ago and most people ignore it. The time when the leftists get the same treatment is too far away even if it is 2 seconds in the future.

    • Suthenboy

      What is retarded is meatless hamburgers. This is known.

      • Sean

        ⬆⬆ ?

      • Suthenboy

        I should have clarified with ‘objectively know’.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Don’t let SP see you say that. She loves loves loves the Beyond Burgers.

      • Suthenboy

        I really haven’t looked into it as I am primarily a carnivore. Is there a price difference between the real hamburge…….uh, ok a Big Mac is not a real hamburger….not really, but is there a price difference between the ‘meat’ hamburger and the meatless? If so, how much?

      • Count Potato

        At the supermarket the Beyonce Burgers are more than twice the price of ground beef.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Twice the price, half the flavor, and so loaded with additives that it’s less healthy than eating the dead animal?

      • Count Potato

        Yes

      • straffinrun

        I like how Japanese will make a tofu burger. And then top it with bacon.

    • JD is Unemployed

      I quite liked the impossible burger I tried, but of course it had the hidden cost of me going up three cup sizes that day. Bras are expensive.

    • Trigger Hippie

      This person is to be envied by us all. Imagine having the luxury of the life lived by a person that has something so silly causing them so much distress.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Trump tweets support for Iranian protesters after Tehran admits to unintentionally shooting down Ukrainian plane

    This is one f my pet peeves. They did not shoot the plane down UNINTENTIONALLY. They selected it as a target, aimed, and pushed the button.

    They shot it down mistakenly, but not unintentionally.

    • JD is Unemployed

      “Trump said no regime change BUT he tweeted support for the protesters…”

      Oh no! Weaponized twit brings down regime in Iran! Protesters emboldened by Trump rhetoric! Meddling!

      • Spartacus

        I have been told by Top Reporters that we are still on the knife’s edge of nuclear holocaust and will remain there until trump (a) explains to everyone’s satisfaction why he failed to request congress’s permission beforehand, (b) resigns his office, takes the tonsure, and enters a monastery for penance, but (c) not until he signs a bill handing over all decisions on foreign policy to Nancy Pelosi. Until those things happen the Iran Crisis will continue, at least on CNN and NPR.

    • Fourscore

      Hey, accidents happen. They said they were sorry.

    • juris imprudent

      There were a lot of Iranians on that flight. I wouldn’t want to be the guy announced as being responsible – my fellow countrymen might not be as forgiving as the asswipes in charge of the country.

  5. Suthenboy

    Morning all.

    Nice buffet of links until you started dressing up your links with puns. Lettuce all agree that he poured it on a bit thick at the end.

  6. JD is Unemployed

    Today’s birthdays seem to be largely a cavalcade/rogues gallery of terrible people, with the exception of Ira Hayes, Burke, and Tim Horton (eh buddy), and I’ll begrudgingly let Jack London off being a terrible person because he mostly just talked about it, rather than doing it, right?

    • Atanarjuat

      I wonder to what extent Hayes’ alcoholism could be attributed to what we would now call PTSD.

      • Suthenboy

        An Injun with PTSD. Poor guy.

      • Atanarjuat

        He was one of 5 survivors out of a 45 man platoon on Iwo Jima.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If someone put a bullet in Dorhn, I would not shed a tear.

      • Suthenboy

        I was just thinking the same thing.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Ukraine International Airlines Flight 752 crashed Wednesday after takeoff from Tehran’s airport. The crash came hours after Iran fired missiles at Iraqi military bases housing US troops in retaliation for a US drone strike at Baghdad airport that killed Iranian commander Qasem Soleimani.

    Altitude was lost.

    • Tejicano

      I think this comment could also be made to the next post below.

  8. sloopyinca

    I’m pleased I contributed to the one moment of joy you had last night, OMWC.

    The rest of you, look on in wonder:

    • straffinrun

      Randy Newman was wrong.

  9. Tulip

    Lazy dog and the mouse assassin. https://photos.app.goo.gl/7VAfzWbCamziZRZE8

    My neighbor has a dog and cat and has lots of pictures of them snuggled together. This is as close as mine get.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Doxxed yourself there.

      • Tulip

        I know

      • Old Man With Candy

        OK, just checking to see if you wanted an edit.

        I’m this morning’s Fairy.

      • Mojeaux

        She’s done it before.

      • MikeS

        A tulip by any other name would smell as sweet

    • JD is Unemployed

      Your cat looks very similar to my old girl (hit by a car a couple of years ago 🙁 ).

    • Sean

      Beautiful kitteh.

    • Ted S.

      This is my cat and dog. Sorry for the quality, but I took it on my smartphone and as you can imagine there’s a fair amount of motion going on.

    • DEG

      Cute animals.

    • Mojeaux

      GOOD KITTY!!!!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      There’s some resemblance there but she’s missing Geddy’s, uh, unique snout.

      • Fourscore

        She’s? In transition? Fooled me.

    • Count Potato

      “Anti-vaccine protester charged after allegedly throwing menstrual blood at California lawmakers”

      That’s a lot of retarded in one headline.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s California.

  10. westernsloper

    This has not been a good thing for Arizona or Texas. Or Montana. Or Idaho.

    BUILD THE WALL, BUILD THE WALL……

    • juris imprudent

      Funny thing – my mom was a native Californian, and she used to say that California should’ve put up a wall to keep all the idiots from moving there (because they were ruining it). If one thing ever set her off it was that “I’m moving to California to find myself” bullshit.

      • westernsloper

        My mom is a native Californian too. Her mom never left and took her last breath in Bakersfield twenty some years ago. I even tried to live in CA during part of my mis-spent youth. (1983) I wasn’t trying to find myself, I was trying to find a job. I couldn’t handle LA, but Mammoth was a hoot for a season. You might be on to something. All the people looking to find themselves move to CA and find they fuck a place up in the process.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I’m a fourth generation Californian. Your mom was right.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    MIKE! for President

    On the issue of reparations for the descendants of slaves, Bloomberg said he’s “agreed to support a study of it, but I think what I would do is focus any monies on improving education because I think the only ways to work ourselves out of poverty, and work ourselves out of places where people aren’t getting a good education is to improve the education system throughout the country and I’d spend my money there.”

    Asked about another hot-button topic in the primary, student loan debt, Bloomberg acknowledged the rising cost of an education but said “you can’t forgive it all…I think we have to step back and say, ‘Wait a second, where does all this debt come from?’” Another option, he said, would be for the federal government to lower interest rates, easing the burden on students.

    ——-

    Bloomberg, campaigning in the home state of former 2020 Democratic contender Beto O’Rourke, said he would not back the Texan’s push for a mandatory assault weapons buyback program.

    “Not that I’m happy with it, but we should settle for: don’t sell any more automatic weapons to anybody other than the military and the police department…I think to start something where you went into people’s houses to get guns is not going to work in that way. We just shouldn’t do it.”

    He’s got his finger on America’s pulse. He knows what you want, deep down inside, and he’ll give it to you, good and hard.

    psst- Mikey- they don’t sell “automatic” weapons down at the hardware store.

    Bloomberg, who spent several years as a Republican during his mayoralty, had harsh words for the tribalism in politics today, specifically for the GOP in the age of Trump.

    “It has become a cult, and so people in the party are afraid to stand up and challenge Donald Trump because they are going to get primaried and that’s where they would lose an election,” he said. “They got to get some backbone and standup.”

    Now shut the fuck up and do what I say.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      His ads are the only ads I’ve seen (while in patients’ rooms). Does he like to burn money because I don’t think NC has a primary until the summer

      • WTF

        His plan is to skip the early caucus and primaries and focus on “Super Tuesday “. You know, the plan that has always fail ed spectacularly.

      • Ted S.

        As long as everybody gets enough delegates that nobody has a majority come convention time.

      • DEG

        I’ve seen a few Bloomberg ads on TVs at the gym. He is burning some money in southern NH. On second thought, actually burning the money would be a more productive use of it.

    • Suthenboy

      Someone should ask him about a mandatory buy-back program for Big Gulps.

      • juris imprudent

        If he wants to buy mine back after I’ve consumed it, I will consider a nominal fee to provide it.

      • straffinrun

        That’s a mayor Peter program.

        (Waited before posting this. Pondered the homophobic nature of the comment. Checked my straight privilege. And still did it. They’re gonna have to use electric shock therapy on me. I’m hopeless.)

    • Rebel Scum

      I’d spend my money there.

      Spending ever increasing amounts for a century hasn’t worked so let’s keep doing the same thing!

      don’t sell any more automatic weapons

      Almost no one has one as it is (unconstitutionally…) onerous to get one.

      • Rhywun

        Oh come on… nobody has ever thought of spending more money on education.

      • Mad Scientist

        These fresh, new ideas are why we should all vote for Bloomberg!

  12. sloopyinca

    Hey Tulip, I moved your comment to pending since you doxxed yourself. If you want us to put it back up, just let me know.

    Just looking out for you.

    • Atanarjuat

      Her real name is Lettuce?!

      • Atanarjuat

        Oh now I see it.

    • CPRM

      “Honestly, when their communications were cut off, they should have known there was about to be an invasion, since that’s the only thing that communications getting cut off could mean. It’s kinda their fault. What can you do, you know?”

      haha

  13. The Late P Brooks

    ps, Mike!- The cops are the absolute last people who should be getting their mitts on full-auto weaponry.

  14. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “ The conservative group One Million Moms is accusing Burger King of “crossing the line” over an Impossible Whopper commercial that uses the “D-word.””

    Aww, I guess the poor things were feeling left out. When the leftist prudes and the rightest prudes realize they can cooperate to really jam censorship down everyone’s throats we’re going to be in trouble.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      It worked for the WoD

    • straffinrun

      There are one million moms that need to pull the D-word out of their asses.

      • sloopyinca

        Damn, that’s cold.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Wait, the D-word was damn? That’s fucking idiotic, I just read the headline and figured it was dick but damn? Come on…

      • WTF

        How would that commercial go? “Man, this tastes like dick!”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I figured it was some permutation don’t be a dick, try this burger. Damn doesn’t even register as a curse word for me.

      • westernsloper

        “Sure, it tastes like dick just pulled out of Greta’s ass but you owe it to the planet to eat it.”

    • juris imprudent

      Frankly Scarlet…

      [How fucking OLD are these morons?]

  15. Not Adahn

    Off to my creperie — Tulip, The Saratoga/ADK region can be a nice vacation if you’re into woods, mountains, that sort of thing. Or if you come up for racing season (July 16 – labor day) to see the ponies. If you do come up here then, prices for lodging will triple, while in the off season there are quite luxurious places to be had cheaply.

    • Ted S.

      Then you can fly your Learjet off to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun.

    • Tulip

      Cool. I will check it out

      • LCDR_Fish

        My aunt owns a “cabin” in the Wilmington area near Lake Placid. Lots of great hiking, eating, alcohol options in that whole area – whether you like summer stuff, winter stuff, or misanthropic non-seasonal times like me.

    • Agent Cooper

      I was there in August. Nothing like seeing middle-aged ladies toppling over in the street on a nightly basis. RACE SEASON!

  16. Rebel Scum

    “The language in the commercial is offensive, and it’s sad that this once family restaurant has made yet another deliberate decision to produce a controversial advertisement instead of a wholesome one.”

    The only thing offensive here is a “hamburger” that is not made of meat.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Does he like to burn money because I don’t think NC has a primary until the summer

    I think his campaign geniuses are working some sort of general election strategy. Apparently they haven’t gotten around to telling him the part about how the vast majority of Americans loathe and despise him.

    • Fourscore

      Jobs program for all the youngsters with a serious grievance study degree

    • Trigger Hippie

      I’m a bit confused as to why he’s been burning so much add money in the Kansas/Missouri area. Even if he somehow managed to win the (D) nomination, which isn’t going to happen, he’d get pummeled in the general election. Those states voted Trump by large margins last time and somebody like Bloomberg isn’t going to swing that. Hell, he’d probably lose by a bigger percentage than the Hildabeast.

      • juris imprudent

        Same with PA.

      • DEG

        Thinking about it more, I wonder if this is his attempt to push the Overton window. He knows he’ll lose, but he’ll get more exposure for things he pushes through his activist groups.

      • Mojeaux

        Name recognition. When people don’t know who to vote for, they’ll vote for the person with the most familiar name.

    • peachy rex

      Bloomers just needs a constitutional amendment that gives National Review writers 20 million general election votes each.

  18. Rebel Scum

    There are things in this world I’ll never understand.

    Sex Robot.

    • Ted S.

      Everybody deserves to be armed, not just cops.

      And interesting that they’re called Deutsche Demokratische Republik officers.

    • Agent Cooper

      “often also of the civilian population.”

      AW HELL NAW.

  19. Animal

    This has not been a good thing for Arizona or Texas. Or Montana. Or Idaho.

    Or Colorado. They’ve invaded a state I loved and completely fucked it up.

    • Atanarjuat

      Anecdotally, the Nuyoricans I know who have escaped to Central FL are often Trump-loving but always enthusiastic gun owners. Obviously many migrants are left leaning, but not all.

    • westernsloper

      Roger that. My disagreement with that article is:

      But that trend also highlights a problem: Some of the people fleeing destructive blue-state taxes and regulations appear to drag their pro-big-government philosophy with them — apparently oblivious to the fact that those policies destroyed the state they are trying to escape.

      I think they know exactly what they are doing which makes them a special kind of asshole.

      • straffinrun

        If you meet a young, single guy that moved from California to Colorado, in my experience it was about 50/50 whether or not they were those type of asshole. It was the families that moved out that were about 80/20 odds. Pat Schroeder voters.

      • westernsloper

        Pat Schroeder. I forgot about her. Her tenure was at a time I was pretty politically oblivious but I imagine she would not cut it in todays DNC. And you are right, not all Californians come here and vote for more Government, everyone is an individual and there are liberty loving ones, but the number is small.

      • straffinrun

        Being a Wisconsin transplant to Colorado, I can say that the Colorado people were pretty cool to out of staters. But even back then they didn’t like Californians.

      • westernsloper

        When I was a Ute it was the Texans we hated. Then I figured out those are the people with money and them spending their money is what created jobs.

      • prolefeed

        About half the people moving into my housing development in TX have CA plates on their cars when they move in.

        Half.

    • Grumbletarian

      NH has felt the effects too.

    • blackjack

      I don’t buy any of this. It seems mathematically impossible for expat Californians to have wrecked 10 western states and Florida. If you have real numbers, then great, but let’s not assume every single expat votes crazy blue, and let’s not assume that every new blue vote came from California. Most of the people fleeing are redstaters. Cali is only recently extreme blue, we gave the country Reagan and Nixon and a bunch of lesser red team guys. What if your state turned blue despite the Californians shoring up the red team?

      • Rhywun

        Those Californians aren’t moving to Colorado or Texas to farm and shoot rifles. They’re moving to the burbs – and the burbs are blue now. Even if those ex-Californians are “red”, their kids won’t be.

      • blackjack

        Places turn blue without expats. I’d like to see just how many expats there really are in these places and then see how many didn’t vote and how the rest did vote, before blaming them for this shit. Relative to total votes in such places.

      • Rhywun

        Places turn blue without expats.

        Yep – like all the suburbs around NYC.

      • Florida Man

        I’m not blaming California, I’m blaming the north East transplants.

      • Agent Cooper

        Nixon

        ‘Nuff said.

    • Mojeaux

      Mr. Mojeaux is a California transplant. I will take full responsibility, as he moved here to marry me. However, he was apolitical with right leanings and I am guiding him toward True Scotsmanship. So far so good, although he leans more conservative than libertarian. Shit up, I’m working on it.

      I don’t know how y’all in mixed marriages do it.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    fake hamburgers:

    I’m still wondering how they stack up(!) in comparison to dead animal flesh in terms of assimilable protein.

    • juris imprudent

      Eew, no one eats things for their nutritional value – it is all about conspicuously consuming!

  21. sloopyinca

    Better red than dead.

    Unfortunately they’re voting for the same retarded shit they’re fleeing.

    • Ted S.

      Do drugs fall out of their ass when they move to their new state?

      • sloopyinca

        Some of them.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      With apologies to Yusef who’s one of the good ones and I’m not talking about him and those like him, I wish they’d stay put and reap the whirlwind of what they’ve sown. The exodus from Cali and NY is ruining other states.

      • blackjack

        Man, I didn’t “sow” any of this shit. You guys realize that the electorate is pretty close to evenly divided, right? More people voted for trump in California than did in Texas. Our Demop party is just craftier and more weasely. Wonder what this place would look like without vote harvesting?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Liar

        Everybody knows the Rethuglicans actually run California , and that everything bad that happens is their fault.

      • blackjack

        That’s what makes it so bad, our state is a perfect representation of the Dem’s goals. Nothing here was brought about by republicans. The dems got every single thing they wanted. It’s resulted in homeless drug addicts shitting all over the place, slamming dope across the street from elementary schools, violent crooked cops everywhere, wasted billions on pie in the sky promises like magic bullet trains and road diets, The highest taxes on everything in the whole nation, raging wildfires because of stupid climate change laws, and the strongest restrictions on everything as well. Undaunted, they clamor for more and get progressively more devious about bring it about. They now have to resort to cheating against the saner portions of their own party to pass this wacky crap. There’s only two republicans in Sacramento and they don’t count anyway.

      • blackjack

        And that’s why there’s a line to exit the fucking place.

      • Kia Pet

        thanks, I was getting upset there for second…

      • westernsloper

        That’s the problem with pigeon holing people/groups of people. It should go without saying, no offense intended to you, blackjack, Playa, Jesse, Los Doyers and other Cali Glibs.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Or Colorado. They’ve invaded a state I loved and completely fucked it up.

    No kidding. Like locusts.

    Or blowflies.

    • Suthenboy

      Termites

  23. Rebel Scum

    Demand?

    “We demand that at this year’s forum, participants from all companies, banks, institutions and governments immediately halt all investments in fossil fuel exploration and extraction, immediately end all fossil fuel subsidies and immediately and completely divest from fossil fuels,” Thunberg wrote in an op-ed in The Guardian. “We don’t want these things done by 2050, 2030 or even 2021, we want this done now – as in right now.”

    “To some it may seem like we are asking for a lot,” Thunberg continued. “But this is just the very minimum of effort needed to start the rapid sustainable transition. The fact that this still – in 2020 – hasn’t been done already is, quite frankly, a disgrace.”

    “Anything less than immediately ceasing these investments in the fossil fuel industry would be a betrayal of life itself,” Thunberg claimed. “Today’s business as usual is turning into a crime against humanity.”

    • WTF

      Al Gore predicted Manhattan would be under water by 2020.
      Just sayin’.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      She really has the holier than thou henpecking nailed down at an early age doesn’t she?

      • juris imprudent

        Want a shudder to run down your spine? Just imagine that some teenage boy out there is going to end up married to her.

      • DEG

        Yikes.

      • Agent Cooper

        I suspect a mental breakdown is in her future.

        Or she’ll do a complete 180.

    • Suthenboy

      She is turning out to be a pretty good spokesgirl for the science deniers. If they wanted people to start handwaving them away they couldn’t have done better. Also, whatcha wanna bet that a significant portion of the money funding this nonsense comes from investments in FF companies?

      Seriously, do the watermelons really believe that people are going to hunker down in a cold, dirt floor hovel heated by dung fires, hike to the river every morning with a bucket on their head to get water and dig for roots and grubs to eat because some poor MR girl stomps her feet and demands it? I suspect the people handling her are fruitloops of the first order.

      • Count Potato

        The person who does her Facebook page got doxxed yesterday.

      • Fourscore

        Windmills and solar panels always need tilting and by god, she’s just the person to do that.

    • sloopyinca

      “Anything less than immediately ceasing these investments in the fossil fuel industry would be a betrayal of life itself,” Thunberg claimed.

      Would somebody please point out to this fuckwit that she is effectively condemning to death and despair half a billion Chinese people, half a billion Indians, a few hundred million Africans and countless other people around the world who are trying to emerge from shitty living conditions to the modern world of electricity, potable water and reliable transportation?

      • Suthenboy

        I thought that was the whole point of it?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She’d do just fine though. Maybe she realizes that and doesn’t care or maybe she just hasn’t thought it through but what she’s advocating for is dangerous. Luckily for everyone the noninsane don’t pay her much mind.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Ah, the Non-insane. There’s you. Me.

        So thats two…,

      • Tejicano

        Yeah, but those will be pious deaths. Not like the unfair fate that her generation is being assigned by us not heeding her warnings.

    • The Hyperbole

      It’s just a negotiating technique. One starts off asking for the world so when you finally reach a ‘compromise’ one gets what one wanted to start with.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        There’s that too: The big ask.

      • Agent Cooper

        The Art of the Deal?

    • straffinrun

      You know what else is a betrayal of life itself?

      • sloopyinca

        Suicide?

      • juris imprudent

        No, that was a setup for abortion. Cognitive dissonance FTW!

      • Tres Cool

        Onanism ?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Comes complete with radiant heater

    • Rhywun

      As we learned yesterday, big business is already almost completely down with this message. Greta is really just speaking to the choir at this point.

      • Mojeaux

        Mr. Mojeaux and I were talking about Trump v Obama, and while I wasn’t paying attention and starting to tread water, Obama made our economic life markedly worse through gas prices and most importantly Obamacare.

        No point to that except that in the article, it talks about green energy policies being partially responsible for rising housing and energy prices.

        Also, I reiterate: Greta is a puppet and she’s been brainwashed. I only feel sorry for her. Not only has she been brainwashed, she will likely never be able to reason her way out of this intellectual quagmire.

      • Mad Scientist

        No excuses. At some point even the brainwashed have to make a conscious decision to believe in bullshit. Now she wants the rest of the world to do the same thing so that she doesn’t have to face how weak she is. Fuck that evil bitch.

      • Mojeaux

        At some point even the brainwashed have to make a conscious decision to believe in bullshit.

        I disagree completely, especially if they have not been allowed outside influences. Our agency is limited by family circumstances, familial control, IQ, disposition, temperament, and other things out of our control.

        Maybe by the time she’s 50, she will have made sense of it and broken free, but by that time, she will have long been disposed of and she’ll be sitting there wondering why she’s alone and nobody pays attention to her anymore.

  24. Shpip

    Man allegedly doused woman in ranch dressing during argument

    He’ll never get to see her Hidden Valley now.

    • Fourscore

      At least he wasn’t Russian things

      • straffinrun

        He was arrested for stalking. Makes you wonder where he put the celery.

      • Trigger Hippie

        It’s hidden amongst a thousand islands.

      • juris imprudent

        You all have poured quite enough on.

      • Grumbletarian

        I imagine the judge will give him a good dressing down.

      • blackjack

        It’s alcohol related, he met her at the salad bar.

    • blackjack

      That’s where she keeps her chick pea.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    “We demand that at this year’s forum, participants from all companies, banks, institutions and governments immediately halt all investments in fossil fuel exploration and extraction, immediately end all fossil fuel subsidies and immediately and completely divest from fossil fuels,” Thunberg wrote in an op-ed in The Guardian. “We don’t want these things done by 2050, 2030 or even 2021, we want this done now – as in right now.”

    Will you promise to hold your breath until those things happen, Greta? Maybe you could put a plastic bag over your head, and duct-tape it in place, so it doesn’t slip.

    Or you could always douse yourself in high octane leaded gasoline.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Roughly translated “I want the world to starve”

      • sloopyinca

        Not the whole world. Just the couple billion that don’t have reliable electricity or potable water.

      • Trigger Hippie

        For starters. Give it a generation or so then that remnant will find a reason to slaughter another healthy percentage of the population.

        The on.y good human is a dead human unless they are of my ilk…and what constitutes my ilk is subject to change…kill, kill, kill.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s amazing to me that this types of pronouncements aren’t met with the same response as if she said “I want you to nuke Africa, right now.”

      • Rebel Scum

        Environazis lack the ability to think critically.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I have alternate plans for her.

      It must be nice to have only known an upper class coddled existence and be able to make pronouncements like that without regard to consequences.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      the rapid sustainable transition

      The rapid sustainable transition”: not too creepy.

      “Success to our five-year plan!”

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Or rather, 0-year plan. Poor Veruca Salt is going to be disappointed.

  26. Crusty Juggler

    Check out Werner Herzog over here.

    • Count Potato

      Where?

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Just don’t call him a “ball boy”.

    • straffinrun

      4th and inches.

      • sloopyinca

        And he came up short. Kinda like Lamar Jackson did.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    I have alternate plans for her.

    If you believe Teen Vogue (and I do) anal sex and asphyxia are not exclusive.

  29. Rebel Scum

    Team Blue desperately wants to lose.

    Iowa voters’ first choice among the Democratic candidates was Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) with 20%. Second place went to Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) with 17%. Third place went to Mayor Pete Buttigieg with 16%, followed closely by former Vice President Joe Biden with 15%.

    Aside from the 11% of voters who were “not sure,” the next two candidates were Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) with 6% and businessman Andrew Yang with 5%.

    • sloopyinca

      Let’s be honest. President Not Sure is probably our best bet in these trying times.

  30. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The Vatican Apostolic Library, known as “VAT,”

    An appropriate nickname given how they raised the funds for it over the last millenia.

    • Spartacus

      It’s just the standard abbreviation for library and/or collection used in citations, like BF for Bibliothecque Francaise or LOC for Library of Congress or YBC for Yale Babylonian Collection.
      I have bookmarked this page to waste way more time on later. The first image looks like a page from an early copy of Corpus Agrimensorum

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Pat Schroeder voters.

    *spits*

    • straffinrun

      I miss her. Back when rich liberals looked down on you with pity and not hatred.

  32. Rebel Scum

    But we have to get the big money out of politics.

    Michael Bloomberg has been in the presidential race only 7 weeks, and he’s already spent $200 million, according to ad tracker Advertising Analytics. The rest of the entire Democratic field has only spent $220 million.

    The RealClearPolitics polling average over the last month has Bloomberg at 5.8 percent, although he’s doing slightly better recently.

    All that money and not much love from Democratic voters. Bloomberg has said he’s willing to spend a billion dollars to defeat Donald Trump, but how much is he going to spend on his own vanity campaign for president?

    Not that he can’t afford it, but at what point does it get silly? According to this story in the Daily Beast, Bloomberg isn’t pulling enough support to win one single delegate to the convention.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Everybody talks about the sources of the money, but not the vast army of consultants and advertising firms that suck up that money like a Hoover vacuum.

      • Tonio

        “And she really worked me over good, sorta like a Waring blender.”

    • Spartacus

      I agree–we should get the big money out of politics. Starting with the largest single source of political money, the federal budget. It dwarfs all other sources, which is why people will spend a lot to get elected. One of Trump’s problems is that he doesn’t realize that he is only rich by New York standards. In Washington his fortune is pocket change.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    I just had an inspiration about how Mike! can boost his appeal. He should name Meghan McCain as his running mate.

    • SDF-7

      I think he should name Hunter Biden. I think the Dems would rather vote for a Mike/Hunt(e) ticket and would find it too Mike/Odd….

      • sloopyinca

        So Bloomberg can go with Mike/Hunt (Biden) or Mike/Hutt (McCain)?

    • Rhywun

      She would need to cat-fight her way past Judge Judy first.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    A very fine use of fossil fuel.

    Those guys are nuts.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But it’s a fun kind of nuts.

    • Suthenboy

      In fifty years it will be as if she never existed. Gilliam, not so much.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This. She’s a no-talent music critic.

        But this passage is particularly galling:

        The irony of Gilliam’s comments was that, while demanding people take responsibility for their own failure, he simultaneously refused to acknowledge the benefits of his own privilege – and the harm it causes others.

        Personal responsibility equals acknowledging one’s privilege and how it brings harm.

      • sloopyinca

        Of course she refuses to elaborate on his his “privilege” has caused anybody harm.

      • Suthenboy

        Or that he even has any.

      • Agent Cooper

        Let me know when she makes something as good as Brazil. Hell, Time Bandits for that matter.

    • Rhywun

      OFFS. Is every millennial journalist a freaking autist? “That’s not funny, boomer.” Argh GFY.

    • Mojeaux

      she refuses to debate the substance of their position

      She can’t.

      I don’t subscribe to the black-and-white of “Every person has choices to break out.” There is too much familial influence and in the case of a child who has been brainwashed from birth, educated at home, and her diminished mental capacity (if it is to be believed, and I don’t). she had no chance whatsoever. It’s the same reason I blame Joe Jackson for Michael Jackson’s pathos. And if this is not true, intergenerational welfare as a way of life would not be a thing.

      There are a few people who will, yes. They have uncommon intelligence and drive and somehow have come across the ability to see a correct path (frugality, hard work, single-minded determination) whether someone taught them or not and implement it.

      Unless this girl has that and sees it eventually, she still has to have the strength to break away, and if she did, she would have to leave her cushy life behind and she has to be willing to do that.

    • Mojeaux

      Margot Robby strikes me as a “one of the guys.”

  35. Shpip

    Lots of talk about the late game yesterday. Whycome no one’s mentioned the Vikings’ record-setting performance?

    • Fourscore

      Coached by Mondale and Humphrey.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    But it’s a fun kind of nuts.

    I didn’t see any brakes on that thing. Or effective steering.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hence the “fun” designation

    • westernsloper

      I think they had some sort of braking device as they came up to their truck. Steering? Ya, a bit sketchy.

      • Agent Cooper

        The wheel turned the front “skate” to steer.

  37. Count Potato

    “‘That really shocked me!’ Margot Robbie admits she ‘didn’t know what sexual harassment was’ until she read the script for Bombshell

    She plays a young Fox News producer in the critically acclaimed film Bombshell.

    And while the movie is centred on sexual harassment in the workplace, Margot Robbie, 29, revealed she didn’t fully realise what it was until reading the script.

    ‘One of the lines that shocked me when I first read the script was that sexual harassment includes any unwelcome sexual advances,’ she told the Herald Sun on Saturday.

    She explained: ‘I always thought it required physical contact for it to be considered illegal or wrong. That really shocked me.’

    Margot said recognising that such harassment did not have to be physical, but also be verbal, prompted her to join the film.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7877969/Margot-Robbie-says-didnt-know-sexual-harassment-Bombshell.html

    #FakeNews

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’ve ruined Margot Robbie

    • Q Continuum

      “unwelcome sexual advances”

      Shit like this actually makes me sympathize somewhat with incels. Good looking guy – hitting on a girl will more than likely be considered “welcomed”, or at least tolerable/understandable. Ugly guy – hitting on a girl is not just politely declined, but considered an “unwelcome sexual advance” and predatory.

    • Suthenboy

      Sexual advances are…..what? If I ask a female co-worker for a coffee even though I have no intention or interest in sex, is that a sexual advance? If she says no does that make it unwelcome?
      I would never hire a woman in these here times.

      • straffinrun

        I would never hire a woman in these here times.

        That would be why you would “hire” a woman.

      • Q Continuum

        Sexual advances are whatever she says they are. And don’t expect any kind of due process; that’s a tool of the white cis-hetero patriarchy.

      • Rhywun

        Ha it won’t be long before the government tells you how many women you are required to hire.

      • Suthenboy

        Excellent marketing opportunity for robot manufacturers…have some of your robots identify as women.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Jerry Brown did just that (%-wise) on his way out the door. Can’t remember the name of the law.

      • blackjack

        Yes, it’s quota on female board members of corporations.

      • Crusty Juggler

        “I would never hire a woman in these here times.”

        They are terrifying.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        How do you know it’s ‘unwelcome’ if you don’t try?

        Where’s the line?

      • Fourscore

        Well, thanks for asking.

        /under her breath, “Pervert”/

      • Trigger Hippie

        All the moral ambiguity aside, “don’t shit where you eat.” are words to live by.

    • R C Dean

      The idea that Margot Robbie has never had an unwelcome sexual advance is truly ludicrous, especially given that she works in Hollywood.

      • Gender Traitor

        Maybe they were all welcome.

      • SDF-7

        Or she’s as welcoming as Winston’s Mom….

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Maybe she is Winston’s Mom!

        I love you, Winston’s Mom!

      • Suthenboy

        What makes you think any of them were unwanted?

      • Gender Traitor

        First! Or, for a sub-thread, I guess it would be “sub-first.”

      • Mojeaux

        Okay, this is how it happens:

        A woman may have always been “one of the guys” then suddenly she’s in a workplace with not-overly-egregious behavior:

        1) She doesn’t notice it because she’s used to it.

        2) She notices, thinks it’s funny, and goes along with it like it’s a running joke (she may or may not let on that she knows she was being sexually harassed), which totally takes the punch out of it and may make a joke of the dude.

        3) Overly egregious behavior gets the side-eye or sharp put-down or a hearty “Are you fucking kidding me?” or a slap in the face OR

        (this one happened to me)

        [private interview]

        ME: *bubbly and effusive as per usual*

        LECHEROUS BOSS: *says lecherous thing*

        ME: *acts oblivious*

        LECHEROUS BOSS: *says lecherous thing and somehow works a gun into the conversation*

        ME: *acts oblivious* Oh! I have a Smith & Wesson .45. *going off on a “tangent”* That reminds me. One time, I had a stalker. I told him if he ever showed up on my doorstep, he’d have the barrel of a gun bored into his head. No more stalker! *big smile*

        LECHEROUS BOSS: Oh, good!

        ME: *leaves with raise*

        No more problem.

        How ’bout dat.

      • Gender Traitor

        Brilliant. In your honor.

      • Mojeaux

        You have the best music links! *hopes Gustave and Ted don’t notice I said that*

      • Gender Traitor

        ::preens::

      • Tres Cool

        /cash her outside

    • blackjack

      I think this is very common. People have no idea what any of this crazy bullshit entails.

  38. mexican sharpshooter

    Cmon now Jack London wasn’t a shithead. He was a product of his environment: a case of whiskey, snowed in cabin in the middle of nowhere, AK, another case of whiskey, his dog, and a case of whiskey.

    • Q Continuum

      Don’t forget ladies of ill repute.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s one way of rehabilitating him.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Ah yes. Ill-repute.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Jack London should be canceled!

  39. Q Continuum

    “Snowflakes, everywhere you look.”

    Damn, them’s some fine MILFs?

    • straffinrun

      MADD MILFS would be a good Mad Max sequel.

    • Rebel Scum

      8 and 16

    • DEG

      Not a bad collection. It looks like Beth Lily makes multiple appearances.

      I’ll think I’ll just take 11 and 22 for today. Like OMWC, I’m a bit hungover.

  40. westernsloper

    You know the best thing about today’s playoff games? Neither are being broadcast on NBC.

  41. Q Continuum

    “The shed was unlocked when they entered because people from the company that owned the shed had forced their way into the building when the locks froze over and never replaced them, Gagnon said”

    Even without the porn, the kids were practically doing a public service.

    • Q Continuum

      When does the candle that smells like her asshole come out?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought that was it.

      • Crusty Juggler

        This one smells like money.

    • Spartacus

      I’m not sure I want a candle that smells like a goopy vagina.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Aww, poor Chuck Todd. That guy impugned the honor and effectiveness of the media.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    From the Million Marms sidebar:

    Smells… familiar.

    • Fourscore

      Are these the ‘edibles’ I’ve heard so much about?

  44. Rebel Scum

    Dealing with the real issues.

    Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam will push for a bill in the state legislature to replace the state’s statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee that is displayed in the United States Capitol building.

    The office of the Democratic governor will file a request for a bill that would outline the process for removing the statue and selecting a replacement. The figure of Lee is one of two statues from Virginia in the National Statuary Hall Collection.

    The filing come after two Democratic lawmakers requested Northam replace the statue as part of his legislative agenda for the new session that begins in February.

    “As Virginians, we have a responsibility to not only learn from but also confront our history,” U.S. Reps. Jennifer Wexton and A. Donald McEachin wrote in a letter released Monday. “As part of this responsibility, we must strive for a more complete telling of history by raising up the voices, stories, and memories of minorities and people of color.”

    “These statutes aimed to rewrite Lee’s reputation from that of a cruel slave owner and Confederate General to portraying him as a kind man and reluctant war hero who selflessly served his home state of Virginia,” the letter states.

    Logically, both can be true. Now do Washington.

    Northam spokeswoman Alena Yarmosky said his office has discussed the issue with McEachin and Wexton’s office “and we look forward to continuing to work with them and all others who are committed to making Virginia open, inclusive and equitable.”

    Except for those damned, knuckle-dragging, bitter-clinger gun owners.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Gun owners are just white supremacists anyway. Gotta take those guns away before they decide to rise up.

    • Suthenboy

      I wonder who the candidates for a replacement are. Marx? Lenin? Stalin? Sarah Brady?

      • Rebel Scum

        Maybe something completely out of place that has zero context such as a dreadlocked black guy in a hoodie on a horse. Oh, wait, they already did that.

    • Rhywun

      “As Virginians, we have a responsibility to not only learn from but also confront our history,”

      “…by tearing it down and pretending it never happened.”

    • Q Continuum

      “conversations I had with my boss last week”

      Did these conversations involve the back of a station wagon, Colt 45 malt liquor and Barry White on the 8-track?

      • Crusty Juggler

        No, they involved giving me increased responsibility and wishing I could take on even more because I am so awesome.

      • Q Continuum

        Fake news.

      • Spartacus

        I don’t hear anything about “raise” or “bonus” in there.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Who said there was no bonus?

    • Trigger Hippie

      You probably don’t want that job. My best friend was a TB general manager for ten years before he decided to seek another career path. By the time he left he was on xanax, anti-depressants, never saw his kids, and had an unhappy marriage. After leaving that headache of unrealistic corporate expectations, unreliable workers, taking phone calls at all hours, swing scheduling, and customers looking to rip you off all day mixed with homeless people making threats and shooting up in your bathrooms, he got off the meds and has a happier home life.

      I mentioned the new possible pay increases if he returned to that work. Despite him making just a smidge more than half that at his current job he said he’d rather die than do that shit job again, no matter the six figures.

      • Crusty Juggler

        He was a bad manager in over his head.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Possibly. Though he did manage to make that store a decent profit for a decade. And not all owners of massive franchise chains are exactly realistic about what kind money they can squeeze out of a store in a meth addled hood when they’re using a store on the Vegas strip as the standard.

  45. Rebel Scum

    At least Puerto Rico is getting a break.

    Thousands fled a volcanic eruption in the Philippines as the Taal volcano spewed steam and ash 40 miles south of Manila, the country’s capital and largest city.

    More than 6,000 people were evacuating an area immediately surrounding the volcano, the Associated Press reported. The Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology, which issues alerts for the volcano, raised the alert level to its second highest level because activity at the volcano was intensifying and warned that a “hazardous eruption was imminent.”

    They said that a plume of steam and ash had shot six to nine miles into the sky and that volcanic ash had been reported as far north as Quezon City, a part of the metro Manila area. It warned of potential devastating pyroclastic flows and a “volcanic tsunami” for the volcano, which is centered in a lake.

    All areas within 14 kilometers (more than eight and a half miles) of the volcano were ordered to evacuate immediately.

    • Suthenboy

      Teenage angst and awkwardness around the opposite gender. This is new.

    • AlmightyJB

      Kissing? Ah, youth.

  46. Rufus the Monocled

    Don’t say what?

    I see the Ravens lost though.

    • Rebel Scum

      You said the thing you aren’t supposed to say.

      But the Ravens kinda committed suicide in that game, unlike Jefferey Epstein, who didn’t kill himself.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    David French is a conservative?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well, he’s probably the most likely of all the commentators to put his wife in a red handmaiden’s robe.

      • Q Continuum

        ^^^Kink shamer.

  48. Rufus the Monocled

    For those who don’t read the links:

    “….Horton was killed after losing control of his De Tomaso Pantera sports car on the Queen Elizabeth Way (QEW) in St. Catharines, Ontario, in the early morning of February 21, 1974.[1][18] He had played a game in Toronto the previous evening against his former team, the Maple Leafs, and was driving alone back to Buffalo, 100 mi (160 km) south. The Sabres had lost the game, and despite sitting out the third period and playing with a jaw and ankle injury, Horton was selected one of the game’s three stars.[2][19]

    Horton’s Pantera had been given to him by Sabres’ general manager Imlach as an enticement to return to the team for one more season.[20]

    On his drive to Buffalo, Horton stopped at his office in Oakville, and was met there by Ron Joyce.[20][21] While there, Horton phoned his brother Gerry, who recognized that Tim had been drinking and tried to persuade him not to continue driving. Joyce also offered to have Horton stay with him. Horton chose to continue his drive to Buffalo.[21]

    After 4:00 a.m. EST (9:00 UTC), a woman reported to the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) in Burlington that she had observed a car travelling at high speed on the QEW. A warning was broadcast over police radio. Thirty minutes later, OPP Officer Mike Gula observed a speeding vehicle travelling Niagara-bound on the QEW in Vineland. Gula activated his siren and attempted to pursue Horton’s vehicle, but lost sight of it.[21][22]

    Horton passed a curve in the road at Ontario Street and was approaching the Lake Street exit in St. Catharines when he lost control and drove into the centre grass median, where his tire caught a recessed sewer which caused the car to flip several times before it came to a stop on its roof in the Toronto-bound lanes. Not wearing a seatbelt, Horton was found 123 ft (37 m) from the car.[1] He was pronounced dead at St. Catharines General Hospital.[18][…”

    Reminds of two others who crashed their sports cars: Pelle Lindbergh killed while driving a Porsche and Dany Heatley in a Ferrari where he survived but his best friend was killed.

  49. DEG

    When going through Wikipedia’s birthday page, I’m always struck by the number of tokens with entries there.

    I noticed a similar thing with the holidays entry.

    “To the brave, long-suffering people of Iran: I’ve stood with you since the beginning of my Presidency, and my Administration will continue to stand with you. We are following your protests closely, and are inspired by your courage,” the President tweeted in both English and Farsi.

    I’m surprised someone was smart enough to know to translate the message to Farsi.

    Apparently the use of the “D-word” went too far for One Million Moms.

    “One Million Moms finds this highly inappropriate. When responding to the taste test, he didn’t have to curse,” the group said. “Or if, in fact, it was a real and unscripted interview in which the man was not an actor, then Burger King could have simply chosen to edit the profanity out of the commercial.”

    Go fuck yourselves and only post it on PornHub if you’re hot.

    Is that sufficiently misogynistic for this morning?

    A womanizing tortoise whose rampant sex life may have single-handedly saved his entire species from extinction has retired from his playboy lifestyle, returning to the wild with his mission accomplished.

    Retired? What? Sad!

    And in the case of increasingly many of these documents, you no longer have to make the journey to Vatican City to see them. Thanks to an ongoing digitization project launched a decade ago, increasingly many have become searchable and downloadable on DigiVatLib, a database of the Vatican Library’s digitized collections including not just the aforementioned codices and incunabula but “archival materials and inventories as well as graphic materials, coins and medals.”

    I like this news.

    Silicone Lovers founder Louie Love tells us he believes his dolls are already unrecognisable to humans at a first glance.

    Based on the pictures in the article, those are obviously not human.

    The red-state leader is Texas, with a projected pickup of three congressional seats following the 2020 census — and that after gaining four congressional seats after the 2010 election. Florida will pick up two seats, and Arizona, Colorado, Montana, North Carolina and Oregon will each gain one, according to the analysis.

    All 10 losing states — Alabama, California, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and West Virginia — lose only one seat.

    Ah. Eventually the gaining states will turn into carbon copies of the losing states. Maybe the losing states will change their tune. Maybe.

    • Suthenboy

      The only consolation for me is that all of the pinkos moving so close to my own state will likely not be moving to Louisiana but instead will turn their noses up at us bumpkins.

  50. Rufus the Monocled

    “Bernardine Rae Dohrn (née Ohrnstein; born January 12, 1942) is a retired law professor and a former leader of the Weather Underground. The Weather Underground was a domestic terror group responsible for bombings of the United States Capitol, the Pentagon, and several police stations in New York, as well as the Greenwich Village townhouse explosion that killed three of its members.[1] As a leader of the Weather Underground, Dohrn helped to create a “Declaration of a State of War” against the United States government and was placed on the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted list, where she remained for three years. After coming out of hiding, Dohrn pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges of aggravated battery and bail jumping and was later jailed for contempt of court.

    From 1991 to 2013, Dohrn was a Clinical Associate Professor of Law at the Children and Family Justice Center at Northwestern University School of Law. She is married to Bill Ayers, a co-founder of the Weather Underground.”

    Did they pay their debt to society? It’s funny how these two nitwits ended up a) getting jobs TEACHING. I wonder how they were in class and b) ended up working or supporting the man.

    Anti-American clowns.

    And Obama associating himself with them speaks volumes.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re his godparents.

      Not kidding.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Survey shows:

    The world hates Donald Trump!

    Thanks, Chuck.

  52. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    My team got destroyed, too. So now I can return to indifference. Which is nice.

    Spot the Packers references.

    Ray, Max and Willie?

    • Old Man With Candy

      Good job!

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Horton was killed after losing control of his De Tomaso Pantera sports car on the Queen Elizabeth Way (QEW) in St. Catharines, Ontario, in the early morning of February 21, 1974.

    A Pantera would not be my first choice for a winter car. Just sayin.

      • blackjack

        That’s a really cool 4×4, but in California anything after 1975 has to be 100% original under the hood or they won’t register it. For that money, I’d hold out for a ’74.

  54. Crusty Juggler

    NY bans use of toxic chemical in firefighting foam

    New York plans to restrict the use of firefighting foam that contains certain chemicals that have the potential to contaminate groundwater.

    Firefighting foam can contain polyfluoroalkyl substances, or PFAS, which are man-made chemicals that research suggests can decrease female fertility, increase the risk of high blood pressure in pregnant women and lower birth weights.

    They did ruin a local water supply, so I get it. Thanks for keeping us safe!

    Gov. Andrew Cuomo approved legislation last month that would ban the use of firefighting foam containing PFAS for training purposes.

    The bill passed by lawmakers would also ban the use of foam with PFAS to fight fires from different kinds of liquids. But Cuomo, a Democrat, says there aren’t yet effective alternatives to firefighting foam with PFAS for all liquids.

    He said he’s secured an agreement with legislators to allow the state to decide when “exceptions to the bill need to be made to allow for effective alterations that will maintain environmental safety.”

    lol oh okay.

  55. Rebel Scum

    Impeachment forever.

    Conway and Katyal then argue it is impossible to hold a trial on the first article, which alleges Trump abused his power by using U.S. aid to pressure Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden, because of a lack of witnesses. They blame Trump for the lack of witnesses — not the House’s refusal to call some of them, or to wait for the court to rule on whether they had to appear.

    They argue:

    “Holding the first article back and letting the second go forward would be a powerful and precise response to McConnell’s unprecedented attempts to avoid committing to a real trial. It makes practical sense but also highlights what’s at stake here. Trump would be forced to undergo two impeachment trials instead of one — but that’s a fair price for him to pay for his attempts to hide evidence from the American people.”

    • Suthenboy

      The house refused to call those witnesses in their sham investigation because it would be too easy for R’s to reveal what a sham the whole thing is. That’s right, they refused to call those witnesses is Trump concealing evidence from the American people.

      It would all be laughable if it weren’t so goddamned scary to see these Stalinesque tactics being used in my own country.
      And I thought the Kavanaugh hearings were bad….Jesus.

    • westernsloper

      McConnell’s unprecedented attempts to avoid committing to a real trial.

      Didn’t the turtle say they were going to follow the format of the Clinton impeachment? Was that a real trial?

  56. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t buy any of this. It seems mathematically impossible for expat Californians to have wrecked 10 western states and Florida. If you have real numbers, then great, but let’s not assume every single expat votes crazy blue, and let’s not assume that every new blue vote came from California. Most of the people fleeing are redstaters. Cali is only recently extreme blue, we gave the country Reagan and Nixon and a bunch of lesser red team guys. What if your state turned blue despite the Californians shoring up the red team?

    I agree with you. But- on a sliding scale, a California Republican is more likely to vote for dumb shit (expended government *services* at open ended cost) than a lot of Montana “independents” who would rather be boiled in oil than vote for a Republican.

  57. pan fried wylie

    However, do the kids today even know who the Washington Generals are?

    Umm, duh, he won the fucking Revolutionary War and founded this country. Moran.

    • AlmightyJB

      You mean white supremist slave-owner.

  58. Crusty Juggler

    Grandpa Slacks Are the New Dad Jeans

    When you think of style icons, Bernie Sanders is probably low on your list. I’m not referencing campaign trail Bernie, with his hypebeast parka and sleek navy suit. I’m all about Bernie off-duty: the one who visits Ariana Grande concerts or walks around in stained button downs. His style should be dissected with the same fervor we approach female politicians. Feel the Bern, because at a second glance, his style is, looks at notes, cool. Canceling student debt is nice and all, but let’s praise his presidential crusade for the next it-pant: grandpa slacks.

    We’re leaving dad jeans behind and bringing grandpa slacks into the new decade, which is appropriate because your grandfather—or great-grandfather, we’re not splitting gray hairs, here—wore these exact same pants in the roaring ’20s. This seemingly dated style is probably worn by a man named Marvin or Eugene. His favorite activities include quietly feeding birds and shuffleboard, if his darned hip allows it. While he pretends to be a crotchety old man, he has a sweet spot for hard candies, corgis, and pudgy grand-babies. Prune juice is his beverage of choice. If he owns jeans at all, he probably irons them.

    UP, from left: Russell, Carl Fredricksen (voice: Ed Asner), 2009. ©Walt Disney Co./courtesy Everett
    Me, enthusiastically looking at my grandfather’s style.
    ©Walt Disney Co./Courtesy Everett CollectionEverett
    Advertisement – Continue Reading Below

    But let’s talk about his slacks. These are of the pleated-front variety, much to the dismay of modern menswear enthusiasts. Fabrics vary, but they are often itchy wool or military-grade gabardine. The color of said pants should be muted, nothing garish or loud; stay in the range of easy-to-chew shades and by that I mean oatmeal, meatloaf, or roasted squash. These are not, and I cannot stress this enough, sexy. These tailored trousers are perfect, but they aren’t exactly flattering. The wide-leg fit should flow away from the body, and in no way will your ass be supported. Grandpa would never.

    Frankie Shop, a cult-favorite shop loved by Insta-thots who favor neutral palettes, is spearheading this trend one grid post at a time. Their well-curated collection of minimalist designs includes a tight edit of baggy slacks, and there is barely a flat-front in sight. Instead of thrifting for a vintage pair that is unlikely to fit, opt for their high-waisted selects. The patriarch of your family would not approve, but add a touch of femininity by styling them with a cropped sweater or a fitted bodysuit.

    Good news, Glibs – you’re hip and trendy once again!

    • blackjack

      I will never forget this. Once I was at a junkyard buying car parts. It got kinda cold, so i went to a uniform vendor in the parking lot and paid 10 bucks for a uniform jacket. It had a couple of holes in it and a stain or two. Anyway, after I finished I didn’t have time to go home, so I wore the coat to Hollywood. I was asked by a dozen people where I got it. I told them 10 bucks at Pick-A-Part, and they said they’d happily pay a hundred bucks for one. They said they see them down on Melrose for 80- and up.

      • Crusty Juggler

        You’re a hipster God.

      • Animal

        I was asked by a dozen people where I got it. I told them 10 bucks at Pick-A-Part, and they said they’d happily pay a hundred bucks for one.

        When I was a young feller we had a word for people like that: “Morons.”

    • AlmightyJB

      Gay

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Re graf 2: stereotype and condescend much?

  59. Crusty Juggler

    “That’s some cockroach.”

    “Bite your head off, man.”

  60. Brochettaward

    Does anyone know the final score of the Ravens game? My internet has been down.

    • robc

      Cal won, I think.

    • AlmightyJB

      7 under par to Love.

  61. Mojeaux

    My his and is CONVINCED the Chiefs are going to win.

    Me, I have way too much PTSD to get enthused.

    • Mojeaux

      husband*

      Going back to bed. Wake me up at 3:00 God’s Chosen Time Zone.

      • Ted S.

        So you’re going to miss the first hour of the game?

      • Mojeaux

        *haughty sniff* *dismissive handwave*

        God loves the Midwest most.

  62. Crusty Juggler

    Beatles’ ‘Abbey Road’ Named Best-Selling Vinyl LP of the ’10s

    Top 10 Best-Selling Vinyl Albums of the ’10s
    1. The Beatles – Abbey Road (558,000)
    2. Pink Floyd – Dark Side of the Moon (376,00)
    3. Guardians of the Galaxy Awesome Mix Vol. 1 (367,000)
    4. Bob Marley and the Wailers – Legend (364,000)
    5. Amy Winehouse – Back to Black (351,000)
    6. Michael Jackson – Thriller (334,000)
    7. The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (313,000)
    8. Fleetwood Mac – Rumours (304,000)
    9. Miles Davis – Kind of Blue (286,000)
    10. Lana Del Rey – Born to Die (283,000)

    Jiminy Cripes.

    • Mojeaux

      Miles Davis – Kind of Blue

      Guilty.

    • westernsloper

      I do not own any vinyl, other than pants, but the only album I own on that list is Legend.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh. Vinyl. Never mind.

        I am not that much of an audiophile.

    • The Hyperbole

      How is that being ‘named’ the best selling VLP, isn’t that simply being the best selling VLP?

      • AlmightyJB

        Fake news disclaimer?

    • AlmightyJB

      Nothing all that surprising.

    • robc

      #3 is an odd choice for vinyl.

      • AlmightyJB

        Bang for your buck I imagine. Definitely the type of music vinyl collectors would be into. Probably will have some collectability as well.

      • JD is Unemployed

        It comes on tape, too. For the retro feels.

  63. The Late P Brooks

    in California anything after 1975 has to be 100% original under the hood or they won’t register it.

    Oh, for fuck’s sake.

  64. The Late P Brooks

    And, of course, what’s really stupid about that is an upgraded drivetrain (especially with injection and an ecu) would be a whole lot cleaner than original equipment smog control from the ’70s or ’80s.

    • blackjack

      Yes. They have abandoned any pretense here. Jesse James got into hot water for not fitting evap to his builds. If you build more than 6 vehicles, you must retrofit them. He offered to recall about 100 bikes and put the required stuff on them. The CARB said no, we want the fine money and we don’t care if the bikes are retro-fitted. That’s when he moved to Austin TX.

      Btw, that’s why there are almost no older cars here. They’ve tightened the smog standards so much that older cars mostly can’t meet them. They either get sold out of state or get sold to the state as gross polluters. Poor people can fuck right off.

  65. AlmightyJB

    It’s interesting that Ohio is losing population given how fast Columbus is growing. It’s ridiculous. Of course, a lot of the old car, coal, and steel union cities (Toledo, Wheeling, Youngstown, etc) I’m sure aren’t helping the numbers.

  66. robc

    Lamar Jackson, always a yard short on 4th down

    Although to be fair, the one vs Clemson was not his fault.

  67. Mojeaux

    You know what I think would be a cool survey question? What everybody’s pet interests are, i.e., NotAdahn’s astrology. What else is he interested in? I’m used to it now, but at first I was like, “Oh, wait, a Glib dude casting charts and reading Tarot? Awesome.” A little bit of a non sequitur to expectations of a libertarian dude, but that’s my fault. That’s an interesting interest.

    • Mojeaux

      e.g., not i.e. Ted, I really do know the difference!

    • AlmightyJB

      You mean other than freedom, broads, booze, guns, food, and schadenfreude?

      • Mojeaux

        Libertatians. That’s a given.

        You forgot pot and Messican buttsecks.

        Anyway, those are the baseline and will not be counted. Anyway, you all lost your guns in tragic boating accidents.

    • Brochettaward

      Prostitutes. Preferably ones who cry.

      • AlmightyJB

        I thought all of the Asian ones did?

  68. The Late P Brooks

    Btw, that’s why there are almost no older cars here.

    Jaysus. That was one of the best thing about going to California, in the ’80s and ’90s; there were so many bitchin old cars on the street, because the tin mites hadn’t gotten to them. And people cared enough to hang on to them and keep them running.

  69. The Late P Brooks

    That’s when he moved to Austin TX.

    I always assumed it was something like that.