Tuesday Afternoon Links of Wonder Dog Grooming

by | Jan 21, 2020 | Daily Links | 438 comments

We have many humans coming to visit us this weekend, several of whom will be staying at our place with us, the European…and the Wonder Dog. So, in an attempt to finally get the Wonder Dog looking sparkling white, clean and fluffy, I purchased a new dog bathing device. The Wonder Dog resists bathing. If you don’t hear from me within a couple hours, send help.

Well, before I head off to my possible doom, let’s see what’s going on in the world.

 

This just in courtesy Francisco d’Anconia. (I know Los Doyers is appreciating the hell out of the squirrels in his stew pot.)

 

H/T Playa Manhattan, who remarks, “California is off its fucking rocker.”

Whatever you do, don’t embarrass prosecutors and tarnish the image of an anti-corruption task force.

Bernie might be Epsteined any day if he keeps annoying Herself.

Want to know what badass is? This guy. Who may or may not be a Glib.

A perfect world, that’s what we’re living in.

This is my shocked face.

Not actually OMWC

 

Have a great afternoon, kids!

 

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

438 Comments

  1. Tonio

    I’ve never found a dog bathing problem that a tree, a leash and a garden hose couldn’t solve. Except in the dead of winter.

    • UnCivilServant

      So that was where “Unique Ice Scultpure” you tried to sell me came from.

    • Fourscore

      The garden hose can get pretty cold, some dogs are adverse to seeing the garden hose and the doggie shampoo linked together. A nice warm bath tub makes a doggie less resistant to a clean up.

      • Tonio

        Oh, I resorted to the shower stall when Lab #1 would roll in things in the winter.

    • Naptown Bill

      I didn’t realize that “give the dog a bath” wasn’t a euphemism for chasing a German Shepherd around the yard with a hose and a spray nozzle until I was 16.

    • Pope Jimbo

      My old mutt loved any sort of water he could find except that evil garden water hose. We’d go on a walk and he’d find some fetid swamp to roll around in. When we got back I’d attempt to spray off the worst of it and he’d roll around and you could almost hear him screaming “Noooooooo! I stink so pretty right now, what are you doing?”

    • C. Anacreon

      Way old Peanuts:

      Charlie Brown, telling Linus: “You know what the best way is to teach a dog discipline? A rolled-up newspaper.”

      Snoopy, overhearing, thought bubbles: “That would tend to give one a distorted view of the press.”

  2. UnCivilServant

    There are too many national days per day.

    • Tonio

      “We now track nearly 1,500 National Days, National Weeks and National Months.”

  3. Fourscore

    “Not actually OMWC”

    Not sure about the old guy but if the dog jumps in there’s gonna be two baths taken.

    • Chafed

      I picture OMWC being taller, skinnier, and having a pornstache.

      • Mad Scientist

        Wrong on all three counts.

  4. Tundra

    Hi SP!

    Good luck bathing Wonder Dog. It is not a job for the faint of heart.

    Our sheepdog requires a ton of maintenance. Extensive weekly brushing and monthly baths at a minimum. I kind of miss my GSD. She would shed a ton, but almost never required baths.

    I’ve not heard of coyotes attacking people. The ones around here will grab the occasional kitty or puppy, though.

    • DEG

      Coyotes killed a Toronto singer

      A 19-year-old folk singer from Toronto has died after being attacked by two coyotes in Cape Breton Highlands National Park.

      Taylor Josephine Stephanie Luciow, who went by the stage name Taylor Mitchell, died overnight at the QEII Health Sciences Centre in Halifax. She had been on tour in the Maritimes.

      Mitchell was hiking on the Skyline Trail when she was attacked Tuesday afternoon. She was taken to the hospital in Cheticamp, then airlifted to Halifax in critical condition.

      Park officials said Mitchell was walking the trail alone. They said other hikers managed to scare off the coyotes and call 911.

      • AlmightyJB

        We just had someone attacked by a coyote in Columbus as well. I had never heard of that happening before.

      • invisible finger

        I’m starting to think the sudden rash of “coyote attack” stories are bullshit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        A dingo ate my coyote.

      • UnCivilServant

        Coyotes will attack if you try to take their migrants away before they’ve carried the drugs across the border.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I blame these coyote attacks on global warming!

        Obviously climate change has wiped out the natural habitat of road runners. Without them to keep the coyote population in check, it was only a matter of time before humans were attacked with various acme products.

  5. Rebel Scum

    California considers declaring common pain killer carcinogen

    Everything is a carcinogen.

    • UnCivilServant

      “Warning: Exposure to Warning Labels is known to the state of California to Cause Cancer.”

      • Fourscore

        Dr: The good news is that you don’t have cancer

        Patient: Wow, that’s great, so what’s my problem?

        Dr. You have emphysema and will suffer for several years. You’ll wish you had cancer, you’d probably die faster.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Your liver is going to fail long before you get cancer.

    • AlmightyJB

      Life is a terminal disease.

      • Fourscore

        Now you tell me. What is up with that? I hope its not fatal.

  6. Rhywun

    Jeebus – that dog is bigger than I am.

    • CPRM

      769,323 views

      Fuck, I should give up on the cartoons and just video myself in my undies in the lake.

      • UnCivilServant

        You might want to pick a genre where you can provide more variety as time goes on.

      • CPRM

        57K subscribers

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Who puts an extendable leash on a 150lb dog?

      • Pope Jimbo

        People who want to keep their arms in their sockets?

  7. Rebel Scum

    Bernie might be Epsteined

    Meh, he’d probably try to Stalin other people.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      No he’ll be Troskied

  8. DEG

    The Wonder Dog resists bathing. If you don’t hear from me within a couple hours, send help.

    Good luck.

    • Swiss Servator

      Just wave a pizza…it will distract Wonder Dog.

  9. DEG

    A state law known as Proposition 65 says California must warn people of any chemical known to cause cancer or reproductive toxicity. The state’s list has grown to about 900 chemicals, including toxic pesticides and flame retardants, and is more extensive than any in the U.S. Some critics say California regulators have been overzealous, requiring warning labels for countless products that confuse instead of inform consumers when the risk of cancer is disputed.

    How about repeal Proposition 65 instead of declaring acetaminophen carcinogenic?

    • Rhywun

      They literally have signs at hotel front desks that say “this hotel contains chemicals known by the state of California to cause cancer etc etc”. Super useful and the desk clerks get to field dozens of questions about it every shift (ask me how I know).

      • Swiss Servator

        WHAT CAUSES CANCER HERE?!?!?!?!

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, we do link to a great many cancerous sites on a daily basis.

        Admittedly it’s to point and laugh, but the accumulated exposure over time…

      • invisible finger

        What causes cancer here?

        The Building Code.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You know what causes cancer here in this hotel? Fucking your wife* between Sept 21 – October 22 and not pulling out.

        *Technically it could be any fertile woman, but I used wife to keep the site’s Family Friendly rating safe.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep.

    • KSuellington

      Repeal a law!?! Are you crazy or do you just want people to die of cancer!!!

      • Ted S.

        Which people?

      • UnCivilServant

        Who said repeal? We’re just passing another law that exempts everyone from certain requirements.

      • invisible finger

        “This product is known to the state of California to cause racism.”

    • AlmightyJB

      Aren’t these the same people who bitch about the coming overpopulation “crisis”?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The company I worked for in San Diego has an electroplate shop in one of the buildings, where just about everything does cause actual, real, no-shit cancer.

      It caught fire one day and the firemen refused to go in the building so the slightly over-LSD’d maintenance guy just walked in to evaluate the situation. The fire chief was so shocked that he didn’t even stop acid-trippin’ maintenance guy, who walked out a couple of minutes later with a full report.

  10. DEG

    “In the doc, you’re brutally honest on Sanders: ‘He was in Congress for years. He had one senator support him. Nobody likes him, nobody wants to work with him, he got nothing done. He was a career politician. It’s all just baloney and I feel so bad that people got sucked into it,'” Rose said, quoting Clinton. “That assessment still hold?”

    I detect a little projection.

    • B.P.

      Yeah, he’s the unlikable one.

      Hearken back to the 2008 Dem primary debates, when Obama no-shit said to Hillary, “You’re likable enough,” which is the equivalent of saying, unprompted, “That outfit in no way makes your ass look fat.”

      • Fourscore

        Saying something nice about your blind date

        “For a fat girl she didn’t sweat much”

  11. Mojeaux

    @RAHeinlein, in the previous thread you said it was brave of UCS to post something financially positive on this site. Are we (perhaps I, personally) generally not welcoming of positive financial news?

    Though I am open about my character flaw of envy, it is general, not specific to one person. I’m happy for UCS. I do envy him–but for his foresight and prudence, which I have never had.

    • RAHeinlein

      Envy wasn’t the context. It’s Glibs, welcoming of the positive news, but get ready for a number of “better ways” comments (most will simply say Good on Ya!). The commenters here are generally decent people so wouldn’t offer critique/ideas if negative financial news was posted.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, I see.

        Sorry about the delay in answering. I’ve been out all afternoon.

  12. Rebel Scum

    *Shocked face*

    But Democratic lawmakers — including House Speaker Eileen Filler-Corn and Senate Majority Leader Dick Saslaw — told AP the rally wouldn’t impact their plans to pass gun-control measures, including universal background checks and a one-handgun-purchase-a-month limit. Democrats say tightening Virginia’s gun laws will make communities safer and help prevent mass shootings like the one last year in Virginia Beach, where a dozen people were killed in a municipal building.

    “I was prepared to see a whole lot more people show up than actually did and I think it’s an indication that a lot of this rhetoric is bluster, quite frankly,” said Del. Chris Hurst, a gun-control advocate whose TV journalist girlfriend was killed in an on-air shooting in 2015.

    • Q Continuum

      The whole fucking state could’ve shown up and it wouldn’t matter. They know who butters their bread and it ain’t the people of Virginia.

      • Tonio

        If a supermajority of Virginia voters were that strongly pro 2A then our legislature wouldn’t be controlled by grabbers. Virginia is merely the latest domino to fall as Progressivism marches southward.

    • Raston Bot

      have they bailed on the AWB? i haven’t seen it mentioned in a single one of these articles but it advanced out of committee.

      • invisible finger

        What does the Average White Band have to do with this?

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Airway bill, you mean?

    • Fatty Bolger

      “universal background checks and a one-handgun-purchase-a-month limit…will make communities safer and help prevent mass shootings like the one last year in Virginia Beach”

      Huh. How would that have prevented a shooting where the perpetrator purchased the firearms legally over a three year period, and had no criminal background or anything that would stop him from passing any background check? Oh, and that also took place in a gun-free facility, where employees were banned from carrying firearms to defend themselves at work?

      • Q Continuum

        SHUT THE FUCK UP GUNTARD

    • Gustave Lytton

      Chris Hurst, a gun-control advocate whose TV journalist girlfriend was killed

      So he’s legislating based on personal emotional reactions? Sounds like he should be recusing himself as unable to judge the bills on their merits or constitutionality.

  13. DEG

    “The coyote attacked a young child, and the child’s dad went into protection mode and suffocated the coyote until it succumbed,” police said.

    Good job, though shooting the coyote is easier.

    • Tundra

      Not if the kid is anywhere close.

      • Ted S.

        Or if you’re disarmed by gun control.

    • UnCivilServant

      There are times when you’re just not thinking clearly.

      • DEG

        You’re just figuring this out now?

      • UnCivilServant

        *Lunges for strangling gloves*

      • Naptown Bill

        I stand corrected. THAT was the funniest thing I’ll read today.

      • DEG

        Same here.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I LOL’d.

      • Pope Jimbo

        *thunderous applause*

      • Spudalicious

        Hey Swiss! Can we get a standing opera ovation over here?

      • DEG

        Yes please.

      • Shirley Knott

        Seconded

    • Fourscore

      You’re not an LEO, just call 911

    • Bobarian LMD

      The police wording makes it sound like Dad was a cop.

      A hand was closed, causing the coyote to succumb.

  14. Raston Bot

    i’ve tasted the perfect apple:

    https://sugarbeeapple.com/

    This new variety features half its parentage from the Honeycrisp.

    it is Heaven.

    • Q Continuum

      Let’s keep it family friendly here bub.

      • LJW

        Pot meet kettle?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Q is very circumspect when discussing apples. It is only when the subject of melons comes up that he starts to go off the rails.

      • Tundra

        It’s probably the musk.

      • Shirley Knott

        Or because he cantaloupe?

      • Spudalicious

        Orange you sorry for making that joke?

      • Bobarian LMD

        half its parentage from…

        Bastard Apple?

      • Fatty Bolger

        The other half from TREE SMITH?

    • Fatty Bolger

      The wife loves Honeycrisp, so we might have to try this out.

      • C. Anacreon

        I liked Honeycrisp better when they still called it Super Sugar Crisp.

        And they had a bear who talked and sang like Bing Crosby to promote it.
        His name was Sugar Bear.
        Elton John even sang a song about him, “Someone Save My Life Tonight, Sugar Bear”.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It’s called Golden Crisp now. I think your brain created a mashup of Honey Smacks and Golden Crisp.

      • C. Anacreon

        No mashup at all, I just remember all the commercials. I even remember when it went from Sugar Crisp to Super Sugar Crisp.

        Here’s a 1960s Sugar Crisp commercial where you can really tell how much Sugar Bear was patterned on Bing Crosby.

        And here’s a 1980s commercial showing the cereal as Super Sugar Crisp, again with Sugar Bear, but by now he was some sort of steroids junkie.

      • Count Potato

        That bear was totally juicing.

      • The Hyperbole

        Did he say “spook”? Sugar Bear is canceled!!

  15. Shirley Knott

    I’m considering a double coated breed (Keeshond) and would really like to hear how well, or poorly, the dog bathing thing works. I’ve had 5 Kees over the years, and managing bathing and grooming is one of my concerns.

    • Tundra

      Do you use an undercoat rake?

      • Shirley Knott

        Not personally, no. Back when I had them, my job included travel for work, so they got groomed and bathed regularly.
        The undercoat on a Kees is easy to damage and rakes seem to be frowned on by ‘the community’ but I’ve not yet dug into the subject.
        This is actually pre mature as I’ve yet to decide if I’m actually going to get one or not. But opportunity to ask showed up, so my inner data omnivore surfaced 😉

      • C. Anacreon

        I hear you have to be extra careful when you wash a Keeshond Johnson.

      • Shirley Knott

        ?? Sorry, right over my head.

      • C. Anacreon

        Sorry, a dumb pun about Keyshawn Johnson.

        I’ve always hated that guy since the 1996 Rose Bowl. Here was my Northwestern team, playing in the Rose Bowl, their first bowl game in almost fifty years, after decades of being a college football laughingstock, at the end of a miracle season, having beaten Notre Dame, Michigan, Penn State, and went undefeated in the Big Ten to get there. It was really a feel-good story. But we lost to USC in a close game, oh well, what a great experience anyway. Except Keyshawn, the gentleman, wanted to rub it in. He had just won the MVP in the game (which he wouldn’t have done well in, had our superstar LB (and present coach) Pat Fitzgerald hadn’t been out with a broken leg, in fact that might have changed the outcome were he able to play). Classy Keyshawn ran up to the the NU stands after the game and jumped up and down flipping us the middle finger with both hands.

    • Bobarian LMD

      We had a mutt with a really good double coat.

      The only time she actually needed bathing was when she found something to roll in.

      Like the time a jogger shit off the running trail.

      The Horror… The horror.

      She was a very bad dog, that day.

      • B.P.

        Jesus.

      • B.P.

        I will say I had a giant, impossibly fluffy lab/rottweiler/chow that rolled in bum vomit one day. That wasn’t particularly pleasant.

      • Tundra

        My GSD found a rotting Northern at the lake. That was memorable.

      • Enough About Palin

        When I was a kid, dogs roamed free. We had a lab mix that decided on a very hot summer day to swim in the Mississippi. On the way home it found a great pile of manure to roll around in. He came back home a few hours later, after allowing the manure to harden into a concrete shit-coat. Fuck!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I haven’t met a dog yet that won’t take a roll in raccoon shit.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That dog, Repo, was lucky I wasn’t armed that day, because she was very proud of what she rolled in and wanted to show me by nuzzling.

        Walking her home on the leash while using a stick to keep her at a distance was the epitome of “Shit Show”.

      • Ted S.

        This is what the retractable leashes are for.

      • B.P.

        “Product features: Allows pet owner to distance self from pet when pet has rolled in human feces.”

  16. DEG

    Target Tori makes the local news

    A Target employee who was criticized on social media by a customer received an outpouring of support, along with $30,000 in donations.

    Tori Perrotti works at the store’s Swansea location. On Friday, she encountered a customer who was upset with a sale and decided to snap a photo of Perrotti and post it to Twitter with several complaints.

    “My first thought was I wish I had worn makeup to work that day,” joked Perrotti.

      • Aus

        She’s a cutie for sure.

    • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

      {sincerity mode ON}
      She seems like a really nice young lady.
      {sincerity mode OFF}

  17. JD is Unemployed

    Here’s my moderation helled post to Pie’s “Not real socialism’ thoughts:

    In all seriousness I have spent some time pondering this, but it occurs to me that any and all ostensibly serious and scholarly answers tend to fall at the hurdles of being incredibly selective in their “evidence”, and discount any real economics, or at least only focuses on economic arguments to a certain degree, conveniently not comprehensively enough to give the full picture of economic realities. It always falls on emotional, and post-modernist arguments that are conveniently untethered from anything remotely objective or scientific. Basically I feel that much of left-wing politics is (often deliberately) limited in the scope of what it is prepared to consider to make it’s arguments.

    Here’s a Soho Forum debate on between Bhaskar Sunkara and Gene Epstein***

    Here’s a tangentially interesting discussion between Russ Roberts and Richard Thaler, who is trying to make an argument for what he calls “libertarian paternalism”***

    *** – were links but I’m on my phone and it’s too fiddly to copy over and format them

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Libertarian paternalism (from the book “Nudge”) is the brother of state capacity libertarianism- same outcome, same means, but a different name.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Yeah. It’s worth a listen. I like Russ Roberts. It seems he’s been popping up on TOS recently.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I take issue with the whole concept, which Roberts conceded, that people make “bad choices”. People make choices that meet their needs. There is no “wrong” or “right” choices. There is no objective standard of “right” and “wrong”.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I’ll give the rest of it a listen later. Thanks for the link

      • JD is Unemployed

        No worries. I’ve been slowly working my way through all the Econtalk podcasts which will take me a few years to catch up at this point. Really neat series.

      • Fourscore

        Ant and grasshopper. Delayed gratification. Call it anything you want.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Grasshopper doesn’t store away his cash- instead he uses his money to pay for little grasshopper’s private school education.

        Ant does store away his cash and instead sends little ant to public school.

        Which one made the right “choice”? The whole concept of less government is that centralized authorities lack the necessary information to make the right decision for you. Value is subjective, etc

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        There are consequences for actions, sure, and your own value system may lead you to make one choice over another, but no one can objectively say what is “right” or “wrong” for any particular person.

        If grasshopper ends up poor as shit when he retires and mooching off his kids- that is the consequence for his action. But, it’s impossible to determine, unless you are grasshopper whether or not that was the best choice to make at the time.

        If ant ends up with a dumb kid who is unable to read, but is flush with cash when he retires- that is the consequence for his action. But, it’s impossible to determine, unless you are ant whether or not that was the best choice to make at the time.

      • Gadfly

        I take issue with your issue taking: I submit that people quite frequently make choices that meet their wants at the expense of choices that would meet their needs. Bad choices abound, as anyone who has known anyone who has had regrets can attest. And there’s as much of an objective standard for right and wrong choices as there is for right and wrong anything.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        If there is an objective standard then tell me what that objective standard is…

      • Gadfly

        “Do no harm” works pretty well for one’s choices for oneself as much as it does for one’s choices for others. But my point was less “I know what the objective standard is” and more “the arguments against objective standards here are the same arguments against objective standards everywhere, and I don’t buy it”.

      • Shirley Knott

        I think the problem here is, at least in part, that we all judge (some of) our actions in retrospect, based on how they turned out. We for damn sure have on over-eager tendency to judge other people’s actions based on how they turned out (actually, or in fantasy, etc.).
        But that’s always judging results achieved, which are not necessarily results intended.
        It is impossible for us to know, prior to choosing how the result will play out, nor what other factors might intrude into the situation that would impact either or both the choice and the result.
        We have to choose and take the consequences, without certainty as to what they will be.
        That’s a somewhat different form of knowledge problem than Hayek’s.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s sad to see Kevin Munger go around pushing the kind of BS that his dad usually clears away on EconTalk.

    • Ted S.

      Cool link, bro!

      • Tonio

        I don’t know why, but something is prepending the Glibs URL to my links.

      • Tonio

        Some deviltry with fancy quote marks.

    • grrizzly

      I think I checked this link yesterday.

    • Tonio
      • Count Potato

        “The leftist American mainstream media tried to cast Monday’s pro-Second Amendment rally in Richmond, Virginia, as a white supremacist event that only extremists were planning on attending.

        It turned out that entire narrative was widely false.”

        Shocking.

    • Rebel Scum

      Hands down the WORST white supremacist rally I’ve ever seen! I mean they let me speak and everything. People shaking my hands and stuff. What would MLK do if he saw all of these people judging me by the content of my character instead of the color of my skin?

      GET BACK ON THE PLANTATION. – Democrats

    • Gadfly

      FTA:

      There were approximately 22,000 pro-freedom activists that showed up; the event concluded with no reported incidents occurring and only one arrest being made — a female who police say repeatedly ignored their warnings to remove a mask that she was wearing.

      It is not clear if the person who was arrested, who was later released, was even a part of the pro-gun crowd or if she was part of the The Revolutionary Communist Party, whom Getty Images reported were the only counter protesters who attended.

      When the Revolutionary Communist Party is your only opponent, you’re doing something right.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Better than the Communist Revolutionary Party.

      • Gadfly

        Splitter.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Supporters of Prop 65 say it protects not only Californians but consumers nationwide by compelling manufacturers to make products safer.

    Of course they say that. Just like my new California-compliant five gallon gas can. You can’t fill it without splashing gas all over yourself, and if you do manage to fill it, you can’t get the gas back out.

    Thanks, California!

    • invisible finger

      The whole reason for the push to electric engines is so the typical American won’t be able to make Molotov Cocktails.

  19. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    Glenn Greenwald is an actual journalist and that’s why he upsets authority. He’s getting Julian Assange’d

    • Fatty Bolger

      Yep

    • Q Continuum

      This is why I come here.

    • JD is Unemployed

      That’s clearly an 8A violation.

      • JD is Unemployed

        (or it would be if they were govt furries)

    • DEG

      I like #3 and #26. Otherwise, I’m sorry to say, the collection was disappointing.

    • JD is Unemployed

      3 and 5 are TKOs.

    • Spudalicious

      13, 21.

  20. Tundra

    For Brooksie.

    I’ve seen many RNM lately, so it was fun to see one go.

    • Count Potato

      “a rebuilt Becker cassette radio”

      Wow.

      • Sensei

        Yes, but what model Becker? I seem to recall they all had names from different countries with no rhyme or reason as to which had more features.

  21. Rebel Scum

    A leftist temper tantrum?

    It has been speculated that impeachment is really about blocking Trump from getting another Supreme Court justice. Mark Levin presented this theory in December, telling the story of his neighbor who believes Democrats are hoping the impeachment “black mark” will cripple Trump’s ability to fill another vacancy. The most likely scenario is a vacancy left by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who has been battling cancer. “‘And should she have to leave the bench, by hook or by crook, they want to be able to say that not only will we not allow this president or, for that matter, any Supreme Court Justice in the remaining—whatever number of months—of his presidency, but we will never allow an impeached president to appoint anybody else to the Supreme Court, whether he wins reelection or not.'”

    • KSuellington

      I think that is one of the reasons they are going through with this charade, but when he gets re-elected, with a larger margin than before, they’re not going to be able to stop him.

    • Tonio

      I think it goes deeper than that. The threat of impeachment was raised to force him to appoint someone like Kavanaugh, an executive power guy, instead of a more general constitutionalist such as Amy Coney Barrett. They’re already reeling from the Gorsuch appointment.

    • Q Continuum

      I think a lot of these ex post facto rationalizations for impeachment are just that, rationalizations. I don’t think the DNC puppeteers wanted this. At all. They’re smart enough to see what a sideshow it all is. But they weren’t able to control the monster they created; the AOCs of the party and the extra-chromosome wing of the base demanded impeachment with such zeal that they had no choice.

      I personally think Pelosi et. al. are trying to make the best of a bad situation at this point.

    • Rebel Scum

      And Virginia gun owners believe their moral obligation to protect families, friends and themselves in a violent society justifies their right to keep and carry firearms, no matter what the Virginia legislature says.

      The primary issue is that the legislature is proposing things that violate multiple provisions of both the state and federal constitutions.

    • Raston Bot

      only if it works for negative rights and when carried out by the people who have guns.

    • Raston Bot

      Historians may describe the racial riots of the 1960s — Harlem, Watts, Newark, Detroit, and 100 U.S. cities including Washington, D.C., after King’s assassination — as popular uprisings, but many required National Guard and federal troops to stop the looting, shooting and arson.

      looting, shooting, and arson does not sound like civil disobedience.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    I’m too lazy to read all the way to the end of the tylenol story. Do they get around to mentioning that it will destroy your liver, and that’s why it is a mandated additive for real pain killers?

    • C. Anacreon

      One of the worst things about acetaminophen is its liver toxicity in both acute and chronic use — and it is indeed added to many pain killers, such as Vicodin/Norco, to prevent you from taking too many, and also to keep you from grinding it up and snorting it.

      Not enough is made about how toxic an overdose of Tylenol is. Too many times in the ER, we’ve seen people who took an OD in a suicide attempt, not really wanting to die, but hoping to make their boyfriend/girlfriend see how much they loved them (etc.). And they figured hey, they sell Tylenol at the 7-11, it has to be pretty safe for my faux suicide attempt. Oops. An exceedingly painful death within 24 hours, from just a handful of pills, that is excruciating to witness.

      IOW, if I were California, I’d spend my money warning people about the risk of a Tylenol OD rather than its minimal risk of carcinogenesis. But they’re probably worried about giving people ideas.

      • Shirley Knott

        Amen.

  23. KSuellington

    A Califórnia judge ruled a couple years back that coffee needed a Prop 65 warning (I think this was finally overruled after extensive litigation) so really at this point nothing more surprises me about the intelligence of our bureaucrats here.

    • Q Continuum

      Kalifornia Kancer is like prog racism: if everything is carcinogenic, then nothing is carcinogenic.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Libertarian paternalism (from the book “Nudge”) is the brother of state capacity libertarianism- same outcome, same means, but a different name.

    To be sure, self-ownership and agency might sound great in those late night college-dorm-room brainstorming sessions, but in the real world, people are too stupid to be allowed to make their own choices.

    • Q Continuum

      Yeah, when I think of a real, solid libertarian text, I think of using government influence to “gently nudge” people into the “correct” outcomes.

    • invisible finger

      By “political hobbyists” they mean “People who research before recommending policy”

      • Q Continuum

        GET OUT OF YOUR IVORY TOWER COLLEGE BOY

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Isn’t “political hobbyist” just another word for busybody?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    If it only has six cylinders, it’s not really a Ferrari. V-8s are borderline sacrilege.

    • mikey

      Youi’ve got an extra word there (starts with a “b”).

    • Mad Scientist

      This is all too true. That’s why I’ve started the Mad Scientist Garage For Wayward Ferrari Dino 246GTs. It’s not their fault they were born inadequate. Bring them to me and save yourself the shame of driving one.

  26. UnCivilServant

    Popular image question – Do harpies have hands?

    • Tonio

      No, but they do have titties.

    • Fatty Bolger

      In depictions where the wings are integrated with the arms, typically no. Immobile claws at the tips at most. I’d say that’s probably the most common depiction.

      If the wings are on the back and they have separate arms, then yes, though they could be more like claws than hands.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Let’s go to the authority

      Ray Harryhausen

  27. Rebel Scum

    CNN: White-supremacist, Anti-government, Gun extremist Militia Terrorizes onlookers at gun rally.

    “We’re a firearm safety training [and] conflict resolution organization,” said Toure of Black Guns Matter, “and what we’re doing in urban centers across the country is informing a demographic that has been left out of the Second Amendment conversation, and that’s what created the spaces where that false narrative of ‘the Second Amendment is only for old white dudes’ [has] been able to persist, and so, we’ve pushed back against that narrative with actual work. That’s what we do all across the nation.” …

    Toure organizes and directs educational events across America regarding “gun rights” and “gun responsibilities,” noted Johnson.

    Toure said, “We can complain, but we actually just have to keep doing more. We’ve got to do more with less, sometimes. We’ve got to do more with more. If somebody wants to give us a platform to talk about our work — things of that nature — it doesn’t matter if I’m running for city council at the same time. The human body’s decided to deal with stress, and that’s just what we have to do if we actually want to get free and have more liberation.”

    “The history of gun control in America has been very — extremely — racist from the beginning,” remarked Toure. “It was designed — in Virginia, ironically — and created to make sure [people] do not have the means to defend themselves. That’s what gun control is designed to do. It doesn’t make us safer. It doesn’t make us more responsible. It doesn’t make us more informed.”

  28. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    https://bunnyears.com/papa-roach-album-child-conceived/

    “How To Tell Your Child They Were Conceived To A Papa Roach Album”

    “I’m sorry to tell you this, son, but your mother and I had terrible taste in music in the early aughts. Like, really bad”

    • UnCivilServant

      Or, you could just not share that sort of detail with your kids.

      They don’t need to know and likely don’t WANT to know.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        They’re going to figure out something is up when you and the misses start holding hands and getting sentimental when that one song by that band comes on the radio

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Just show them the picture of the position of the Kama Sutra you were using when they were conceived. That wouldn’t scar them for life at all.

    • LJW

      That would make me want to cut my life into pieces.

      • Rebel Scum

        Sometimes it’s your last resort.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        But would you tell your kid that their mom was into suffocation, no breathing?

    • invisible finger

      Better than being conceived while CNN was on.

      • LJW

        Watching the situation room really does the trick for your mother. *Vomits*

      • Q Continuum

        “Oh Wolfie….”

      • Juvenile Bluster

        I’m glad I had the garbage can right in front of me so I could vomit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hannity News Hour

    • Gadfly

      “How To Tell Your Child They Were Conceived To A Papa Roach Album”

      *misses joke*

      Saying that you know the circumstances of your child’s conception is admitting one of three things: that you had infrequent sex, or you had uncreative sex, or you are a BS’er.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Yes. But I don’t disagree with him on needing to get the message out. I guess that’s what Peterson and Prager U have started doing.

      Kirk’s ‘The Conservative Mind’ is just about the best book about conservatism there is. At least that I know of.

  29. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    https://bunnyears.com/the-suffering-of-polar-bears-why-doesnt-your-baby-care/

    “Why Doesn’t Your Baby Give A Damn About The Suffering Of Polar Bears?”

    FTA:

    “Honestly, how do babies not think about those starving little polar bear cubs every time they throw up their factory-farmed food? Or when they soil yet another nappy? Oh sure, your baby’s probably saying, “My nappies are reusable, snowflake.” Really, baby? So you’ve actually calculated the carbon footprint of your diaper? Don’t look at me with those cute baby eyes! Have you actually been to the factory that makes those diapers? Do you even know how much water it takes to clean your revolting reusable nappy? No, I’m not making you another bottle. Sip on your spit like the rest of us!”

  30. Pope Jimbo

    Want to know what badass is? This guy. Who may or may not be a Glib

    If it was a Glib, the animal in the story would have been a chicken.

  31. JD is Unemployed

    I’m pretty sure they aren’t a glib. Coyotes can’t even type.

    • Ted S.

      It didn’t change my body, hon.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      All I see are high maintenance costs.

      • Tundra

        My linked Ferrari would be cheaper than any of those.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder
    • Spudalicious

      The bikini bridge is Spud approved.

  32. Festus

    Squirrel Appreciation Day! Ours has a 50′ tunnel under the snow and has lately taken to grabbing every peanut off the ground and putting it back into the top of the hinged feeder. Poor guy, he’s like a juggler trying to keep a dozen spinning plates aloft what with chasing about a hundred birds away from HIS territory.

    • UnCivilServant

      On the plus side, snow is a good insulator, so the tunnel will be protected from whatever the air above the snow does.

      • Festus

        Just because he’s an autist with OCD don’t make him dumb… Imma start calling him “Glibby”!

      • C. Anacreon

        Word is he’s lecturing later today at Davos.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      When I lived in Syracuse, my beagle once dove under about two feet of snow and came out with a completely frozen, stiff dead squirrel. And then started running away with it.

      • UnCivilServant

        That sounds like the Syracuse I grew up in. When we managed to clear the driveway and the plows had come through, the front yard would have a snowbank high enough and dense enough to stop tanks.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        In the winter of 00-01 Syracuse had what was at the time its second snowiest winter of all time. I actually lived up on Onondaga Hill, where we got even more snow than that. I think we ended up with about 250 inches that winter. The snowbanks that would pile up in my side yard were incredible.

      • UnCivilServant

        I lived near South Ave and Colvin. Not the nicest of neighborhoods (yes, there were worse, but they weren’t too far away either)

        As far as I can tell, the snow kept the gang members indoors. I have more fond memories of winter than summer.

    • Ted S.

      We used to have a feeder suction cupped to the bow window in the living room. Fucking squirrels would jump from the roof onto it.

      • Festus

        When a a dominant red squirrel catches a juvenile he’s apt to bite his balls off. They also steal nestlings and eat them. Red squirrels are the smartest rodent.

  33. LCDR_Fish

    Came across this piece today – seems like a solid analysis despite coming from an Establishment figure.

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-middle-east-isnt-worth-it-anymore-11579277317

    Why does the Middle East always seem to suck the U.S. back in? What is it about this troubled region that leaves Washington perpetually caught between the desire to end U.S. military involvement there and the impulse to embark on yet another Middle East war?

    As someone who has devoted four decades of his life to the study and practice of U.S. diplomacy in the Middle East, I have been struck by America’s inability over the past two administrations to resolve this dilemma. Previously, presidents of both parties shared a broad understanding of U.S. interests in the region, including a consensus that those interests were vital to the country—worth putting American lives and resources on the line to forge peace and, when necessary, wage war.

    Today, however, with U.S. troops still in harm’s way in Iraq and Afghanistan and tensions high over Iran, Americans remain war-weary. Yet we seem incapable of mustering a consensus or pursuing a consistent policy in the Middle East. And there’s a good reason for that, one that’s been hard for many in the American foreign-policy establishment, including me, to accept: Few vital interests of the U.S. continue to be at stake in the Middle East. The challenge now, both politically and diplomatically, is to draw the necessary conclusions from that stark fact.

    ….

    In the past, the U.S. has had two clear priorities in the Middle East: to keep Gulf oil flowing at reasonable prices and to ensure Israel’s survival. But the U.S. economy no longer relies on imported petroleum. Fracking has turned the U.S. into a net oil and natural-gas exporter. The countries that still depend on the oil flowing from the Gulf are in Europe and Asia.

    To be sure, the global economy—and therefore the American economy—would be hurt by a major disruption in oil supplies from the Gulf. But the natural-gas revolution in the U.S., the discovery and development of energy sources elsewhere and the growing substitution of “clean energy” have made markets surprisingly resilient in the face of chaos in the Middle East. The Arab countries that export oil and natural gas are still important to us, but the free flow of their oil is no longer a vital interest—that is, one worth fighting for. Difficult as it might be to get our heads around the idea, China and India need to be protecting the sea lanes between the Gulf and their ports, not the U.S. Navy.

    As for Israel, it is still very much in America’s national interest to support the security of the Jewish state, but its survival is no longer in question. Decades of American economic and military largess and close security cooperation have made it possible for Israel to defend itself by itself. We are right to be concerned by Iran’s repeated threats to destroy Israel, but it is today’s nuclear-armed Israel that has the means to crush Iran, not the other way around……

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Had to check to see if that guy was on the CFR, because they would kick him off just for that article.

    • Fatty Bolger

      It’s a good point. A lot of our activity in the region seems to be based on inertia and little else.

    • Festus

      The “tippy-tops” in the MIC would never allow Russia or China to police that area. Some things are just too lucrative to back the fuck away from. Not our sand box, not our cat-nuggets is what I’ve always said.

    • Gadfly

      Decades of American economic and military largess and close security cooperation have made it possible for Israel to defend itself by itself.

      In truth, they were able to defend themselves beforehand. American largess was part of a balancing measure to preserve peace, where we fed all sides that were willing to come to the table.

    • Fatty Bolger

      She’s dead to me.

    • Festus

      The Count rings the SF chime…

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Tulsi serves her country. America is not socialist.

      How she can like a lazy commie with terrible ideas is quite perplexing.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Do I look German?

    • AlmightyJB

      So. Tolerant.

      • Count Potato

        In Texas, no less.

      • Winston

        City Air will make us Free

      • Gadfly

        Most of the big Texas cities are Blue, and their politicos are pretty much the same as everywhere else.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Maybe we just need to outlaw cities.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      The members of the city council should have to pay for it out of their own pockets. It’s obvious to anyone with even the tiniest knowledge of first amendment law that what they were doing was unconstitutional.

    • Suthenboy

      Children need therapy, docs and parents need prison.

      • Q Continuum

        Can that voice be fixed?

      • Count Potato

        Yes, but it’s easier to make a voice masculine with testosterone, than make a voice feminine with estrogen. Which is why many MTF have voice training.

    • Festus

      How are ya supposed to grow your dick back? Sorry, forgot. Magical thinking. I go to former box and feel shame.

      • Count Potato

        The detransitioner never had one. Blaire still has hers.

      • Festus

        Ms. Blaire IS “The Uncanny Valley!” A Ronco production.

  34. Juvenile Bluster

    Breaking South Florida weather news. If I freeze to death, remember I love you all.

    …WIND CHILL ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 7 PM THIS EVENING
    TO 9 AM EST WEDNESDAY…

    * WHAT…Wind chills are forecast to range from the mid 20s to
    mid 30s.

    * WHERE…Across South Florida.

    * WHEN…Tonight into Wednesday Morning.

    PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS…

    A Wind Chill Advisory means that very cold air and strong winds
    will combine to generate low wind chills. This will result in
    frost bite and lead to hypothermia if precautions are not taken.
    If you must venture outdoors, make sure you wear a hat and
    gloves.

    • UnCivilServant

      huh. it was 7 degrees out this morning with a high of 28 when I left work. I hardly noticed.

      • Festus

        It was -45C on Wednesday morning. Saturday morning was -30C. Sunday afternoon was +3C. It’s been raining off and on for the last three days. We have strange weather here just away (300k) from the coast.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You typed something, but I have no idea what any of those numbers mean.

      • UnCivilServant

        He is still missing 72 cats, and has a lousy 300 kilobit internet connection.

      • Shirley Knott

        Brilliant!

      • Festus

        The vampire gets me! Fuck all y’all!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      remember I love you all

      I knew you were a sick bastard, but this? Have some standards man.

      • DEG

        There is nothing wrong with combining a love of both genders with an orgy.

      • Festus

        Your avatar and that statement *kissy fingers*

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      “Wind chills are forecast to range from the mid 20s to
      mid 30s.”

      Where I’m from, that’s called “Fall weather”

      • Juvenile Bluster

        I see people in winter coats here when the temp goes down to the mid 60s. When it’s this cold a lot of people stay home. Wouldn’t be surprised to see school delayed in the morning.

        When I started school in Syracuse I remember one day in October, went into class around 10 AM and the temp was hovering around 50. Most of us weren’t from Syracuse, and we were wearing coats and the like. The professor laughed at us and said that when the weather got that warm again in March we’d be wearing shorts and t-shirts. And sure enough, we were.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Minnesoda: Where people put on coats when it is 40 and take them off when it is 30.

      • Fourscore

        Puts on long johns Oct 1, takes’ em off April 1, washes ’em (sees shadow) and puts ’em back on for 6 more weeks

      • Festus

        I actually own two sets of “Charles Ingalls” with the buttoned back-door.

      • Count Potato

        The TV was OK, but the movies were terrible.

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s been low 30’s and snowing lightly all morning. Lovely day to drive around in.

    • Count Potato

      What’s the point of living in Florida then?

    • grrizzly

      It was in the 20s here today, didn’t stop me from riding a motorcycle.

      • Count Potato

        Yes, but you have fur.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS…

    Wear tennies instead of flip flops.

    • Festus

      Lots of Rachel nipples, I’d assume.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Leaping lizards!

    Tuesday afternoon, the National Weather Service in Miami issued a rare forecast regarding cold temperatures but it was for iguanas. Yes, you read that correctly.

    “Don’t be surprised if you see iguanas falling from the trees tonight,” tweeted the Miami National Weather Service office.

    The concern for people in South Florida is that these iguanas often sleep in trees, so when their bodies go dormant, they appear to fall from the sky onto streets, cars, pools, or even people walking around. And since iguanas are large — adult males can reach 5 feet in length, and weigh up to 20 pounds — this can be dangerous if one lands on top of you.

    Don’t forget to wear a hat, Florida Peoples.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      At least they don’t have drop bears.

    • Fatty Bolger

      lol. I’ve actually experienced this, though I never had one actually fall on me. But it is startling when you’re walking through the woods, and an iguana falls nearby.

      • Drake

        Is that when you chop them up for bait or toss them in an incinerator?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Usually a Python slithers up and swallows it whole.

      • Nephilium

        I had a friend who kept exotic pets, one of the less exotic he had was a 5 foot iguana. It usually had free reign to wander around the house. After a night of drinking, I crashed on his couch, and got woken up by an iguana stepping onto my head. That does rank up with the most unusually ways of being woken up.

    • Festus

      If you’d asked me even four years ago? I remember telling people that Trump would never become President. Mind you, that was pre-Glib and I was a wanna-be centrist then.

      • DrOtto

        Ditto, I thought he was a Hilary plant.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Not everyone is concerned about the well-being of these iguanas, though. They are considered an invasive species, so some people are looking forward to an opportunity to rid their yards of these reptiles.

    Heartless monsters.

    Also- what about the pythons? How do they handle the “cold”?

    • Tundra

      Good puppies!

    • B.P.

      Those are some pretty big rats.

  38. Bob, Builder of things

    Bella always finds the Stinkhole, and likes a warm bath, Related? I think not

  39. Suthenboy

    As someone who has undergone treatment for rabies let me tell you, brace yourself.

    I am laying on the gurney in the ER look up and a nurse is coming at me with two handfuls of syringes. “Who is that for?” I ask.
    “I am sorry honey” she said.
    Intramuscular…left side, two in the left ass, Two in the thigh, two in the shoulder. Right side – two in the ass, two in the thigh, two in the shoulder.

    Me: “Whew. Thank god that is over.”

    Her: “I am sorry honey” *lifts napkin off of tray revealing a dozen more drawn up syringes*

    I felt like a dartboard. That’s right. I am now immune to Parvo, rabies, distemper and a dozen other dog bugs. Fun times.

    • Bob, Builder of things

      Good Dog!

      • Tres Cool

        But he wont stop dragging his butt on the carpet.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        I have Steam Cleaner, we can fix him up…

    • Jarflax

      Used to be 21 shots to the stomach, count your blessings lol.

    • straffinrun

      Same treatment for TDS patients.

    • Count Potato

      Yikes!

  40. Bob, Builder of things

    So.i finally ge to talk to someone about long term care for Wendy, and after all the BS, they say, no one in Vegas accepts MediCal.
    MediCal? I say, She’s on SSI/ Medicade!
    Oh? That’s different, we’ll call you back,
    This is getting old…..

    • Tres Cool

      And people really want the gov’t handling all healthcare.

      /VA patient

      • Bob, Builder of things

        5 weeks in, I told 3 or 4 Doctors and nurses she was Medicaid, but NOOOOOoo,
        Idiots…
        Sup Tres!

      • Tres Cool

        TALL CANS!

      • Bob, Builder of things

        15 packs of Natty Ice for 9$
        Short Cans!

      • Tres Cool

        30-pack Milwaukee’s Beast Diet: $13.99

      • The Hyperbole

        30 pack Strohs $21 (well it’s really $20 something, but being such a magnanimous big tipper I allow the girl at the drive thru to keep the change.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        Nice! those last me two days, I’m on a cheap beer diet,
        and heavy on Bacon and eggs for dinner,
        /going broke

    • Bob, Builder of things

      I like how we can talk Big, badass beers and then slip down to ‘Murican beer, and it’s all good.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Careful what you ask for.

    • Tundra

      Why are men falling behind when it comes to education? Several suggestions have been offered. One might be video games.

      *rolls eyes*

      Or, you know, maybe it’s because they are treated as defective chicks from the day they start kindergarten. Or maybe drugging them when they act like boys could contribute to a lack of enthusiasm?

      Nah, easier to blame the fucking video games.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        Pray we don’t end up in a ground War….

      • DEG

        Also don’t mention that college is not the value it used to be. Higher tuition, can’t discharge student loan debt through bankruptcy, lots more degrees out there.

        Going into the trades is a better idea for a lot of guys.

        /starts rethinking life

    • AlmightyJB

      Maybe the women should march or something. That will help.

  41. Tres Cool

    In case nobody from down there has weighed-in yet…….Florida Weather Update

    • Ted S.

      Did drugs fall out of the iguanas’ asses then they fell out of the trees?

  42. Bob, Builder of things

    OTOH, I worked on X step, timing and Release, practice only, and about 200 putt/approach shots, getting better,

  43. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Go ahead and Prop 65 Tylenol, people will just ignore it anyway. Honestly, does anyone take that shit seriously?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Class action lawyers

    • Bob, Builder of things

      The place has gone insane, i wish i could go home but it’s a Venezuelan nightmare in the works…

      • Winston

        I thought urbanization, all those Hollywood actors along with weed, Mexicans and Ass-Sex would turn California into libertopia?

      • Bob, Builder of things

        then Came the Democrats…..
        Aerospace,gone
        petroleum, gone
        Agriculture, going
        Taxpayers, Arizona…

      • Winston

        Well Don’t Worry Arizona will soon be like California…

      • Bob, Builder of things

        No it Won’t, we are Rightwing Refugees, AZ will stay Red, Fuck you Winston, don’t fuck up my escape….

      • Winston

        Fuck you Winston, don’t fuck up my escape….

        I hope I am wrong but…

      • Spudalicious

        Yeah, they’re flooding Idaho too. Not all of them understand how California got effed up in the first place.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What gets me is it serves as a warning label for some things that really are bad news and putting it on something that almost everyone takes internally at one time or another diminishes its meaning. It’s actually detrimental to it’s supposed purpose.

      • Mad Scientist

        Not at all. Prop 65’s purpose is, and always has been, to give class action lawyers more work.

      • KSuellington

        The class action lawyers are the ones who paid to pass that law, and they got free help from idiot celebrities that we have plenty of in the south of this state.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        Hitler
        Racist
        White supremacist
        all words that have lost meaning….

    • Suthenboy

      The last fish lure I bought was a tiny articulated replica of a minnow with two treble hooks. On the back of the package it said “Do not eat. The state of California has determined blah blah blah.”

      I figure if someone is tempted to eat that thing they should go ahead and knock themselves out before they reproduce.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        I doubt they would reproduce after that….

      • Tres Cool

        +1 Front Towards Enemy

      • Bob, Builder of things

        unless you eat fishing lures…..

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Maybe the warning was meant for the fish.

      • straffinrun

        There’s a sucker born every minute.

      • straffinrun

        No bites?

      • Festus

        Just a few nibbles.

      • Spudalicious

        When I was practicing martial arts, I bought a two sectional staff. On the staff was a warning label.

        “Warning. Martial arts is inherently dangerous.”

      • Mad Scientist

        “It seemed to me,’ said Wonko the Sane, ‘that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.”

        ― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

      • Count Potato

        Was that before you accidentally hit yourself in the nuts?

      • Spudalicious

        Didn’t hit myself in the nuts, but boy, did I slam the side of my knee.

      • Festus

        Remembers nun-chucks.

  44. Agent Cooper

    Getting older in a creative field sucks. I just got let go from the second agency in 2.5 years. Was with the first one for 68 soul-sucking seasons. (That’s 17 años)

    If anyone has any leads, here is my site for some idea of what the hell it is I do: DavisCreates

    I have another opportunity but it’s not going to be a real thing until early summer, so I’m looking for something temporary/freelance to bridge the difference.

    Thanks!

    • Bob, Builder of things

      I can’t help, but Good Fortune to you,

    • Ted S.

      If you ain’t eating Wham, you ain’t eating ham!

      • Agent Cooper

        And what did she get for that? A pittance of a raise?

    • DEG

      Sorry. Best wishes.

    • straffinrun

      The stuff you did is excellent. The oval one was especially wonderful.

      • Agent Cooper

        Thanks so much! That won a Cannes Silver Lion.

      • Agent Cooper

        Also — all of those effects were done in-camera. VFX was used to ‘tidy up’ some things but nothing major.

      • Rhywun

        +1

        That’s good stuff

      • The Hyperbole

        Which one’s the oval one?

      • Rhywun

        3rd one in the top row

      • The Hyperbole

        Thanks.

        oval?, says get around knee right there, but no let’s cal it oval

      • Agent Cooper

        Traditional knee replacements are oval. This one moves in a circular motion. Oval is bad in this world.

    • Aus

      Sorry to hear that, bummer. Hope you find something soon, good luck.

    • Festus

      Shit. Sorry Agent! I’m running my own Pamplona with bureaucracy right this instant. The scribblers are all trying their damndest to make the other one send a fax.

    • Tundra

      I’m sorry, brother.

      However, might it be time to hang out the ol’ shingle? Regardless of the early summer thing?

      I like your work. Go get ’em!

    • Bob, Builder of things

      Common sense FTW?

    • AlmightyJB

      How many more kids are going to go $100k in debt for degrees they can’t use? Also, are businesses going to start placing more value on certifications than on sheepskins for technical positions.

    • AlmightyJB

      No doubt

    • Festus

      Well yeah! Embouchure….

  45. AlmightyJB

    You didn’t make that. You sat on your couch. You don’t make, you just take.

    https://youtu.be/TesSxB4AaSg

      • AlmightyJB

        I have their Moontan Album.

      • Festus

        Boring.

    • The Hyperbole

      It’s been said before but Jesus I can not listen to that guy, he needs to work on his, cadence, tone, damn near everything else about his voice and delivery.

      • Jarflax

        ^this. Bring back Milo, he had all the ideological strengths and weaknesses of Shapiro but he was much more entertaining.

      • Spudalicious

        Milo’s been cancelled.

      • Festus

        *Pictures mountain of empty lube drums rusting away*

      • Jarflax

        I know it makes me sad. I disagreed with him at least as much as I agreed but he was hilarious.

  46. KSuellington

    Trump gave a speech at Davos today. I loved this excerpt I just caught.

    “To embrace the possibilities of tomorrow, we must reject the perennial prophets of doom and their predictions of the apocalypse. They are the heirs of yesterday’s foolish fortune-tellers — and I have them and you have them, and we all have them, and they want to see us do badly, but we don’t let that happen. They predicted an overpopulation crisis in the 1960s, mass starvation in the ’70s, and an end of oil in the 1990s. These alarmists always demand the same thing: absolute power to dominate, transform, and control every aspect of our lives.”

    • Bob, Builder of things

      “Hi Greta”!

    • straffinrun

      Nailed it. Bitter, resentful people striking back at a world that didn’t appreciate them.

    • Winston

      Interesting that “Doomonger” Trump is more optimistic then the “progressive” left.

      It was really silly that a major critique of Trump from the cosmos was that Trump was too mean, negative, Manichean and anti-elitist since libertarians have always been about how Everything is Awesome and how we should trust our betters yet still overthrow the existing political order.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Gotta hand it to him. That’s pretty good.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Perfect

    • AlmightyJB

      Well said.

  47. Bob, Builder of things

    I stand by Libertarianism as an ideology, NOT a political party, just stick by what works, and Trump works, sorry anti Trumpers…

    • Festus

      You and I are very similar, Yusef. Those assholes can pound sand.

  48. straffinrun

    *After the meeting*. “straffinrun san, why do you doodle during the meeting? You shouldn’t do that.” Fucker bored us to death with meaningless shit and then says that.

    • Bob, Builder of things

      Do they understand Fuck Off Slaver in Japanese?

      • straffinrun

        Since I’m the translating…

    • Jarflax

      Stare attentively at the speaker and go away to a fantasy land behind your eyes. I recommend the one where you are hacking the speakers to death with an axe while their women wail, but the one where their women are moaning under you while hubby screams in the fire is good also.

      • straffinrun

        Submission please.

      • Festus

        Jarflax=Agile.

    • DEG

      They’re good.

    • Winston

      Guess Who is better!

      • Festus

        No. I’m Cap-Commed out. If I never hear another BTO or Guess Who track I’ll die a happy man. This is better! https://youtu.be/9g30nwCpyaA

  49. Bob, Builder of things

    Going to Vegas to see the Wife, there is a course .5 miles away, play? or be a whiny Bitch? the Wife ain’t going anywhere soon…

    • Festus

      Play. Get better.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        Thank you,

    • AlmightyJB

      Not Low Rider?

      • Bob, Builder of things

        Umm, that is Low rider…
        Tres Would be A Beaner in Cali, even though he looks italian…

      • Tres Cool

        EYE-talian? I hazard that Im even more Swiss than our PTB Swiss.

        #MenoniteLyfeYo

      • Bob, Builder of things

        You look like a SwarthyMan, no worries fellow AMERICAN!

      • Tres Cool

        I do joke that I get so dark in summer I have to vote democratic….

      • C. Anacreon

        Have we ever talked about my experiences with Mennonite Nursing Students?

        If not, perhaps on a late-nite thread some time.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        Sounds Kinky…

      • Mojeaux

        Have we ever talked about my experiences with Mennonite Nursing Students?

        MUST. KNOW.

      • Tres Cool

        You hear about the slutty anabaptist?

        She was used to 2 mennonite.

      • Mojeaux

        LOL

      • Tres Cool

        I was told that Grandpa Tres was kicked out of the church from both an acute and chronic case of ‘cantkeephisdickinhispants-itis’. Which is for the better- I cant grow a proper beard to save my life.
        The few times Ive tried, people would ask “is this your 1st round of chemo?”

      • Brochettaward

        Your grandfather sounds like he would have made a great member of my FreethePenis movement.

  50. Bob, Builder of things

    All of a sudden everyone is working?

    • C. Anacreon

      Next, you’re supposed to say that this is, like, the most boring chat room ever.

      • Bob, Builder of things

        It’s not boring, I’m here, and so are you….

    • Mojeaux

      Yeah, sorry. I’ve been carting tax deductions around all afternoon and grocery shopping and whatnot.

    • Tundra

      His Holiness is the ice fisherman, dude.

      Still, I may try that….

      • Tres Cool

        What could possibly go wrong ?

  51. SP

    UPDATE: No Wonder Dog bathing today. Client had an emergency and I went with the money instead of the life-risking task. Go figure!

    • Bob, Builder of things

      Money> dog, this is known

      • Tres Cool

        Why not both?

        See also: Dogecoin

    • Brochettaward

      I was going to ask you how you’d like it if someone tried to give you a bath against your will, but then I remembered who you’re married to.

  52. Rhywun

    What??

    Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’s phone was hacked by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman in 2018, five months before the murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi, the Guardian reported on Tuesday.

    Dude. How many times do we have to tell you? Don’t open attachments.

    • Bob, Builder of things

      HAHAHA!, idiot…

    • Tres Cool

      The password was pa$$word?

      Thats the combination only an idiot would have on his luggage!

    • Rhywun

      You’d think this would be bigger news. Look, Meghan and Harry said something!

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      He thought he was tracking his Amazon order.

    • Mojeaux

      Related

      Occasional reminder that most of Bezos’ wealth consists of an incredibly complex economic machine. Thinking it can be productively redistributed to the poorest is akin to redistributing the parts of your car to your poorest neighbors.

      • Rhywun

        Somebody tell Warren.

  53. Bob, Builder of things

    Now, I’m trying to get money for my Family(small) to come see Grammy, I fear the Gkids might not be able to see her,
    and all my kids are fucked financially, what’s new they are my kids…

  54. LCDR_Fish

    For Mojeaux – about 1:18:00 on ep 167 of the 5th Column – a discussion on “bodice-rippers”.