Economics Corner with Paul Krugman and Winston’s Mom

by | Feb 14, 2020 | Economy | 491 comments

Before I begin, I want to express my codomlences for #5 Bob and his Russian Kia.  If you hadnt donated to the GoFundMe, and wish to do so click here.  I myself sent $20, but be careful with that because Drake used it to wipe blood of his his ass with it after I pegged him.  A dollas a dolla as they say…

I can’t blame him.  The toilet paper at Lazy 8 is shit.

Here’s the hysterical ass-wipe’s article.

Republicans have a long, disreputable history of conflating any attempt to improve American lives with the evils of “socialism.” When Medicare was first proposed, Ronald Reagan called it “socialized medicine,” and he declared that it would destroy our freedom. These days, if you call for something like universal child care, conservatives accuse you of wanting to turn America into the Soviet Union.

It’s a smarmy, dishonest political strategy, but it’s hard to deny that it has sometimes been effective. And now the front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination — not an overwhelming front-runner, but clearly the person most likely at the moment to come out on top — is someone who plays right into that strategy, by declaring that he is indeed a socialist.

The thing is, Bernie Sanders isn’t actually a socialist in any normal sense of the term. He doesn’t want to nationalize our major industries and replace markets with central planning; he has expressed admiration, not for Venezuela, but for Denmark. He’s basically what Europeans would call a social democrat — and social democracies like Denmark are, in fact, quite nice places to live, with societies that are, if anything, freer than our own.

If I didnt know any better, I’d almost say Tom Woods and Lew Rockwell hacked into Krugabe’s account and are trolling us.

So why does Sanders call himself a socialist? I’d say that it’s mainly about personal branding, with a dash of glee at shocking the bourgeoisie. And this self-indulgence did no harm as long as he was just a senator from a very liberal state.

…or maybe, and I’m just going to spitball here—HE’S A GODDAMN SOCIALIST

But if Sanders becomes the Democratic presidential nominee, his misleading self-description will be a gift to the Trump campaign. So will his policy proposals. Single-payer health care is (a) a good idea in principle and (b) very unlikely to happen in practice, but by making Medicare for All the centerpiece of his campaign, Sanders would take the focus off the Trump administration’s determination to take away the social safety net we already have.

Are you fucking serious?  Trump is a Boomer, his base are Boomers, and fucking Boomers love their fucking Medicare.  Medicare ain’t going nowhere but tits up.

Just to be clear, if Sanders is indeed the nominee, the Democratic Party should give him its wholehearted support. He probably couldn’t turn America into Denmark, and even if he could, President Trump is trying to turn us into a white nationalist autocracy like Hungary. Which would you prefer?

You provided absolutely no link, nor anything other than your naked assurance that Hungary is being run over by white nationalists, so I assume your talking out of your bleeding asshole.

Do you think the people of Venezuela when they voted for socialism think they were going to get the Soviet Union or Denmark?

Sure it was Denmark. But the correct answer is neither, they got Venezuela.

But I do wish that Sanders weren’t so determined to make himself an easy target for right-wing smears.

Indeed.

Speaking of unhelpful political posturing, the runner-up in New Hampshire has also been poisoning his own well. Over the past fewdays Pete Buttigieg has chosen to pose as a deficit hawk, thereby demonstrating that while he may be a fresh face, he has remarkably stale ideas.

Maybe Buttigieg is unaware of the growing consensus among mainstream economists that the deficit hysteria of seven or eight years ago was greatly overblown. Last year the former top economists in the Obama administration published an article titled “Who’s Afraid of Budget Deficits?” which concluded, “It’s time for Washington to put away its debt obsession and focus on bigger things.”

”Mainstrean” “Economists”.  Its like we pick our thinkers with the same part of our ass that decide The Fucking Big Bang Theory is watchable.

Again, if Buttigieg somehow becomes the nominee, the party should back him without reservation. Whatever he may say about deficits, he wouldn’t do what Republicans do: use debt fears as an excuse to slash social programs.

So who will the Democrats nominate? Your guess is as good as mine. What’s really important, however, is that the party stays focused on its strengths and Trump’s weaknesses.

For the fact is that all of the Democrats who would be president, from Bloomberg to Bernie, are at least moderately progressive; they all want to maintain and expand the social safety net, while raising taxes on the wealthy. And all the polling evidence says that America is basically a center-left nation — which is why Trump promised to raise taxes on the rich and protect major social programs during the 2016 campaign.

I just figured it out,,,

,,,YOU SPENT THE LAST YEAR PEDDLING WARREN!

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

*cough*

What a schmuck.

But he was lying, and at this point everyone with an open mind knows it. So Democrats have a perfect opportunity to portray themselves, truthfully, as the defenders of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and the now-popular Affordable Care Act against Republicans who are more or less nakedly favoring the interests of plutocrats over those of working families.

This opportunity will, however, be squandered if the Democratic nominee, whoever he or she is, turns the election into a referendum on either single-payer health care or deficit reduction, neither of which is an especially popular position. Things will be even worse if the Democrats themselves degenerate into squabbles over either ideological purity or fiscal probity.

The point is that whoever gets the nomination, Democrats need to build as broad a coalition as possible. Otherwise they’ll be handing the election to Trump — and that would be a tragedy for the party, the nation and the world.

I am so sorry for your loss.  Try the Wuhan Chicken, it will make yiu feel better.

About The Author

Winston's Mom

Winston's Mom

Biological mother of Winston.

491 Comments

  1. Spudalicious

    Evening sweetie.

    And first, bitches.

    • Aloysious

      *shakes fist*

    • Winston's Mom

      HEY! How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? Its offensive to people in my profession to hear that. That that shit somewhere else…sweetie.

  2. Grumbletarian

    Do you think the people of Venezuela when they voted for socialism think they were going to get the Soviet Union or Denmark?

    Sure it was Denmark. But the correct answer is neither, they got Venezuela.

    This. Socialists sell you on socialism by pointing to places that aren’t actually socialist.

    • hayeksplosives

      But the earlier one Bob made for his move to AZ is also valid and will go to him.

      • Festus

        You’re a peach, HS! Can I come down to San Diego and become your kept man? You’ll have to fight off Wifey with beer cans at fifty paces and find some method to smuggle me across the border first.

    • Not Adahn

      Bah, I thought the way to not dox yourself was to donate anonymously then put your nym in the comments field.

      No matter.

      • Not Adahn

        “A kindly deed most kindly done is in secret wrought, and seen by none.”

        -P.T. Barnum

      • Fourscore

        It ain’t charity if ya gotta brag about it.

      • C. Anacreon

        “Kindly Deeds and they’re done for free”

        /Ned Flanders singing to the tune of Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Dirty deeds and all that…

      • Mojeaux

        One time, I was talking about taxes with richer-than-God Dragon Lady, and I said you could deduct what you donate to thrift stores.

        “What? How do you do that?”

        “You estimate how much it’d sell for at a yard sale or at the thrift store, write that in the space on the receipt they give you, and then write it off on your Schedule A.”

        *haughty sniff* “The point of giving to charity is to not let anybody know. How is it charity if you can write it off?”

        “It’s not about your write-offs, Rosie. It’s about the IRS keeping tabs on the charity.”

        … “Oh.”

      • commodious spittoon

        Getting rid of garbage bags of clothes is charity?

      • pistoffnick

        +$20 pair of used underwear /Billy Clinton

      • C. Anacreon

        Just donated a bit ago. You can put your moniker in as your name, eg. “Not” as your first name, and “Adahn” as your second. Then on page two put in your real name as it is on your credit card. You don’t have to click anonymous, your moniker will appear on the page as the name for the donation, it won’t use your credit card name.

        Thanks again for arranging Hayek. I just spread the word to the members of the email libertarian listserv as well, there’s lots of overlap with this site.

      • Rhywun

        If I read the blurbs correctly, Hayek gets my real name. Eeek! JK, I don’t care.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        I’ve been Anon three times now. Which ones are me? You’ll have to guess…

        I never noticed before that one of the redhead photos is flopped, judging by the jewelry.

    • Count Potato

      go you!

    • Tacit Rainbow

      I spend a few weeks away and all the hopeful wishes I could muster are for naught. I hope he’s okay.

    • westernsloper

      Dammit! I pray peace for Bob.

    • Winston's Mom

      Point of clarification: this is The GoFundMe I am managing for Yusef:

      Thank you. Link updated.

  3. Aloysious

    Perfect timing.

    Madame, you have made my entire evening.

  4. Aus

    Don’t ya hate it when you’re just getting started commenting and a new post drops, so all the new comments on prior post are now dead on arrival.

    *Grumbles* Where’s that subscription cancellation form.

    Just kidding! 🙂

    • UnCivilServant

      Where’s that subscription cancellation form

      It’s Here

      • UnCivilServant

        It may take a few tries.

      • Aus

        Dang didn’t have to bring that heavy shit 🙁

        I’ve been following though and it’s just so awful

      • UnCivilServant

        Not a whole lot else I can do from here.

      • Naptown Bill

        I’ve been busier than usual lately and haven’t been around much. Last I’d heard was that she was poorly. I just don’t have the words.

      • Winston's Mom

        Right? Total mood killer.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Yes. Its like finding an open stall and discovering there’s no toilet paper.

    • Rhywun

      I too hate everyone in that story.

      You know who else on that bus has a beef besides the sympathetic Lybian refugee? EVERYONE.

      • Lackadaisical

        ^this.

        Way to waste everyone’s time. Though if you’re on a greyhound, you weren’t getting wherever on time anyway I guess.

    • MikeS

      This is disgusting and that jury should be ashamed.

    • cyto

      And as I said in prior thread….

      Screw every single person of voting age in the state of Oregon. Go fix your dumbass law.

      And to the rest of us… most of you are no better. So get off your asses and fix this crap. The mafia isn’t this ridiculous about their theft.

      • Rhywun

        Yeap, this is what the people want. We are broken.

  5. Festus

    If I wore t-shirts with logos, I’d covet that Trumpocalypse image on a tee.

    • Festus

      Uh-oh! Somebody did the terrible-awful…

    • Viking1865

      Harriet Tubman on the 20 is probably the only good idea the Left has come up with in the past decade, although I would prefer they boot Lincoln or Hamilton off.

      Grant can stay, hes got one of my all time favorite Laconic quotes. Sherman walks up to Grant after the first day of Shiloh and says “Well Grant, we’ve had the devils own day.” Grant, puffing on his cigar under a tree in a driving rain. “Yep. Lick ’em tomorrow though.”

      • Festus

        Both of them were goldmines of quotes.

    • Chafed

      Isn’t that the bank Aunt Maxine’s husband bought as part of some shady deal during the recession?

  6. UnCivilServant

    Bernie looks terrified in that picture. Almost as if he’s on his way to the gulag.

    • Ted S.

      From your lips to God’s ears.

    • Festus

      Looks like 1968 on the free love commune and someone tried to hand him a rake.

    • Sean

      Yup. He looks small and scared.

      • Tejicano

        Hm… challenging hitlery for her place as the front runner? What’s to be scared about?

    • Rhywun

      I assumed it was a fake. Who knows.

      • MikeS

        #metoo

    • C. Anacreon

      I’ve got an almost identical selfie-with-celeb-in-the-background that I took on a plane not long ago, but in my case it was Ron Perlman,

      Not quite as glamorous or ironic to have Hellboy in your photo rather than the guy who’d take us to hell, I guess.

      • Festus

        Well, he’s kind of a filthy commie too so it’s a wash.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Either that or red beard is going to kick his ass.

  7. Mojeaux

    Find a new gig, then.

    Okay, I’m not going to go all “That’s what a GIG is, dufus” because Shipt is dealing dirty. However, if you’re going to be a gig worker, you gotta know when to cut and run, and that is at the first sign of a problem.

    • Mojeaux

      You also canNOT put all your eggs in one basket. Don’t EVER have just one gig. Or two. Three, four, five gigs always.

      • cyto

        What are you, Jamaican?

      • straffinrun

        I’ve got nine regular gigs going now. 2 or 3 more pop up every now and again.

      • Jarflax

        Just a gigalo

      • Sean

        Underrated song. ??

      • Gustave Lytton

        Underrated artist these days as well.

      • Festus

        You’re that guy from the Discworld book?

    • creech

      “I’m not even from the U.S. but I know we all have freedom of speech here, right?,”

      Sure, speak all you want (unless you’ve been gagged by a court). But where’d you get the idea there were no consequences for, say, calling your employer an asshole?

    • Tejicano

      Hey, if you’re going to get into gig work it’s best to either do something that a) has a big enough market that you will always have enough to do or b) requires a set of somewhat unique skills/abilities which you can cover.

      I got into gig work last year but for some small gigs which require a highly organized and flexible mindset, some tech background, experience in logistics and another un-related industry, with abilities in a couple local languages.

      I’m pretty sure there are opportunities in a whole different ranges of industries for people with experience and skills – probably some at least a diverse as mine. I’m wondering when this gig economy is going to mature to the point where companies just log on and search for staff via a tested, verifiable website.

      • cyto

        I got into gig work last year but for some small gigs which require a highly organized and flexible mindset, some tech background, experience in logistics and another un-related industry, with abilities in a couple local languages.

        Furry-fetish sex work for the cruise industry employees while in port, eh? Yeah, I suppose that counts as a somewhat unique skillset.

      • Tejicano

        For what a couple of my gigs pay you would think it was high-end sex work. I just need this corona virus thing to die down so I can travel more.

    • Rhywun

      Activists and Democrat governments are deliberately clouding the issue by convincing people that gigging for Uber or whatnot is that same thing as a 9-to-5 job.

      • Mojeaux

        That is true. I cringed at the word “paycheck.”

        It’s like Amazon. So Author puts his work on Amazon and Amazon pays “royalties.”

        No, motherfucker, you DON’T pay royalties. You are not the publisher. You are the flea market. The author pays you a stall fee and a delivery fee, like at a flea market. Assholes.

        But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO authors gotta see that word “royalty,” like they were published by someone else or something.

        /rant off

    • Tres Cool

      Heh….I read that as YUFUS

  8. Viking1865

    The whole BUT THE NORDICS thing is always kind of silly.

    Denmark is 16,000 square miles. That’s smaller than West Virginia (41st) but larger than Maryland (42nd). It’s got a population smaller than New York City, with fewer than 6 million people. 86% of those people are Danish.

    Norway as a model is even sillier. Same ethnic homogenity, same small population, but it’s the size of Montana and it’s got copious oil and natural gas.

  9. creech

    Bernie certainly isn’t a traditional socialist. I’d call him, and all the other Dems, a Fascist. They will be perfectly willing to leave the means of production in private hands while they skim off all the profits and tell the owners how to run their businesses. {This is not to say that large swaths of the GOP aren’t also fascists, or at least fascist lite. I’ll be hopeful of a turnaround when Amtrak is abolished.}

    • Festus

      They’ve gone so far left, so fast that I can’t imagine what the Old Guard are thinking unless this was the plan all along. You don’t win elections with 30% of the popular vote. Mind you, the Old Guard were kinda commie-lite for a very long time.

    • cyto

      Bernie has repeatedly opined about people owning too much of the business. And about there being too many consumer goods – one recent quote was a rant about having so many different choices of shoes. “Why do we need 24 kinds of sneakers?”

      That’s as far as anyone should need to go. When a would-be president is opining about what consumer choices people should have as a matter of government policy, any red-blooded american citizen should be done. Immediately.

      • MikeS

        That can’t be; Krugnuts assures me that he’s not a real socialist.

      • cyto

        I don’t know why everyone feels the need to go around explaining that Bernie doesn’t actually mean what he says when he describes his political philosophy. It has barely shifted in 40 years. There’s maybe 5 guys on the national scene over that period that fit that description. It is probably his #1 quality. Why they feel the need to explain away his most redeeming feature is beyond me.

      • Festus

        His only redeeming quality. He means to give the people some Socialism, good and hard and he’s never wavered from that stance.

      • Tejicano

        I expect that some number of German Jews in the early 1930’s were saying a similar thing about that loony Austrian guy.

      • MikeS

        It is odd. Maybe it’s left over from decades of Dems swearing up and down they weren’t socialist and ridiculing any righty who made the claim? Because that was happening only 5-10 years ago.

      • The Last American Hero

        Just imagine, for a moment, if this was 30 years ago and Trump was a generation older. Now imagine if Trump – alleged Nazi – had actually honeymooned in Nazi Germany, traveled to Italy during WWII and sung the praises of Il Duche and talked about how his plan for America wasn’t real Nazi-ism, but the kind that existed in the run up to the war – trains on time, a grand sense of national purpose, no bums on the streets…

      • Festus

        The politics of envy. Why should Becky get to be popular when I pine for the captain of the football team? Not Fair!

      • Tejicano

        I traveled through the communist blok right as the major players had veered away from hard communism – China in 1988 and Russia in 1993. One of the things that struck me was the extremely limited variety of goods in the shops. Even developing countries had generally wider choices on the shelves. I learned that it was a good measure of an economy’s viability.

        I never thought I would hear a potential US presidential candidate claim limited market choices to be not just good but a worthy goal.

    • Rhywun

      Except Bernie has explicitly called for nationalizing banks and energy companies in the past. He might have been coy about it in recent decades (!) but I have little doubt that’s his plan, and the wish of those who support him.

      tl;dr – He IS a socialist.

      • Winston's Mom

        tl;dr – He IS a socialist.

        I love it when you talk dirty.

      • Rhywun

        You’re barking up the wrong tree, darling.

      • Winston's Mom

        Drunk already? Ah, next time.

      • straffinrun

        Transition to Winston’s Dad and you may have a shot.

    • Fourscore

      I saw a local liquor ad yesterday. Some product, a liqueur maybe was priced at $6.00 with a $6 rebate, max 4. They had 2 others in the same bundle, 1 was premixed cocktail fixins, I forgot what the third one was but seems like gin/vodka . They were 6.95, 6 buck rebate max 4 but all were mix or match. 4 bottles of something free, what’s not to like. 12 bottles for less than $8.00, I picked the wrong century to quit drinking.

      Liquor is way, way cheaper now than when a young Fourscore was picking off the bottom shelf. What a great variety as well. Hard for me to believe all the choices. Ain’t capitalism great?

      • Sean

        I was told there would be no math…

        ?

      • cyto

        Or we could go with communist method and drink the excess produced in the government mandated ethanol fuel factories. Party aparachics can have triple distilled.

    • Spudalicious

      Sounds tasty.

    • Festus

      The three fingers of vodka would soon turn into The Five Thousand Fingers of Dr. T and I’d wind up living in a different city about three years later. Hadda swear it off.

      • Nephilium

        Damn Festus, that’s an obscure reference.

        I saw it on the big screen ~15 years ago when a local art house was showing it.

        Get me a shot of that pickle juice! If those twins want a fight on skates, I’ll give ’em one!

      • Festus

        Think I saw it when I was about 5-6. Cinema in our podunk town used to play all manner of weird on Saturday afternoons. I’ve mentioned before but “Walkabout” was relevatory.

      • Rhywun

        We had one of those old cinema houses in our inner-city rust-belt neighborhood when I was a kid. So much B-movie goodness. Went porno in the 90s before inevitably closing for good.

      • Festus

        You haven’t lived until you’ve seen The Phantom Tollbooth and Santa Clause vs The Martians on the same double bill.

      • Gender Traitor

        The three fingers of vodka would soon turn into The Five Thousand Fingers of Dr. T

        That’s awesome. I’m gonna have to pass that one along to Mr. GT (about 40 years sober.) Heretofore, his favorite (stolen) line has been to say that he’s “allergic” to booze – “I break out in handcuffs.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh – and his first language was piano, having started lessons before his feet could reach the pedals, so he’ll get the reference.

      • Festus

        *takes a bow* I remember everything from back then. Everything. His line is a keeper!

    • AlmightyJB

      Sounds good

    • Winston's Mom

      Make it four fingers and you have something going.

      • Tejicano

        Are we doing phrasing, or, um…. yeah

    • DEG

      Ginger beer is for rum.

    • Sean

      That’s NY legal?

      • Not Adahn

        Possibly. It’s got a Tier 5 bolt catch in it, which some college shooters are getting away with using in competition.

        NY State popo refuses to say one way or another. They want to keep their options open.

      • Playa Manhattan

        It’s a .22lr (I think), so probably.

      • Not Adahn

        1. It’s 9mm, I took that picture to send to the company that makes the adapter for CZ75 mags so they could use it in a promo. (Two gun categories using the same mags is extremely convenient in multigun matches)

        2. .22LR is not exempted from the SAFE act. only cops can have 10/22s with 25 round magazines.

    • Spudalicious

      That’s a cute magazine.

      • Sean

        He found it in the kid’s section.

      • cyto

        Cute? Is that a man-card violation?

      • Not Adahn

        There is no gun that is a man-card violation. The rule of “Jayne’s Hat” applies.

      • Not Adahn

        CZ75 mags, so I only have to carry one type when competing.

      • Festus

        *looks down shorts* Hey! Winston’s Mom said it was cute!

      • Spudalicious

        Did she also say, “bless your heart”?

      • Festus

        Well, yeah.

    • AlmightyJB

      Nice grip on the CZ:)

      • Not Adahn

        Made by lokgrips.com if you want to get one for your very own.

      • AlmightyJB

        Cool:) I need new thinner grips for my Springfield 1911.

    • cyto

      So, I don’t know anything about PCC guns …. therefore I ask google. Google explains a few reasons one might want to have a lower performance round in a rifle format.

      What reasons motivated your build?

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, since he didn’t answer I’ll tell you.

        The Steel Challenge he referenced is a shooting sport with four categories of firearm you can compete with. Pistol Caliber Carbine is one of these. It’s all for fun.

      • Not Adahn

        Yup, it’s strictly a toy/gaming/competition build.

    • The Last American Hero

      I’m saving mine up for Yennifer. Yowsa.

  10. grrizzly

    What a pleasant surprise! A few cherry trees are already blossoming in Shinjuku in mid-February.

    • Festus

      Don’t trust! Colana Vilus! China is asshole!

    • Sensei

      My friend to the west in Kansai made note of that last week.

      All my friends have commented on the lack of tourists. I recall you said your airplane was empty. I feel bad for the merchants and tourist industry.

      • grrizzly

        The first class cabin was empty. For what I know, business and coach could be full. Also, on domestic flights the planes were full, like the entire 777 from Osaka to Haneda yesterday.

      • Playa Manhattan

        You’re a points guy, right? What’s your card?

        I switched to Bonvoy Brilliant.

      • grrizzly

        All of them. I’ve been applying for many cards, mostly for signup bonuses. The best points systems are AmEx membership rewards points and Chase ultimate rewards points because they can be transferred to various airline programs.

      • cyto

        Which means the hospitality industry will be open to offering big discounts for locals….

        Just sayin’

    • Rhywun

      NYC is getting a taste of winter finally – 16º tonight. Nothing is blossoming.

      • Nephilium

        Getting down to 8 tonight, and back up into the upper 40’s next week.

      • DEG

        5 degrees according to the car on my drive back.

    • straffinrun

      Really? You sure those aren’t plum trees?

      • Festus

        Festus sees a plum! *waggles eyebrows*

      • grrizzly

        They are called kanzakura (flowering cherry) in the leaflet. And they were kind of mobbed by visitors of Shinjuku Gyoen Nat garden.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Watch out for the carp there! I think those things are carnivorous. Or they get a lot of crumbs.

      • straffinrun

        Cool. I’ll check them out next week when I’m in Shinjuku. Usually, you know when the cherry blossoms are around the corner because the plum trees are blooming. (I may have that backwards. The plum blossoms are better IMO).

  11. AlmightyJB

    The Dems can vote for whoever they want but they’re getting the old, white, 1%er Bloomberg.

    • Festus

      yep

    • Winston's Mom

      Get ready for Mini Mike!

      • MikeS

        Hey! You said it was average!

  12. Tres Cool

    Since it’s Valentine’s Day…obligatory!

    Hold on this song has a little introduction to it
    It’s ain? t supposed to be sad though you might feel it that way
    It’s a song about desperation,
    Every now and then we do get desperate

    This is a song about L-O-V-E,
    and if you abuse it you’re gonn’ lose it
    and if you lose it you’re gonn’ ‘buse and
    if you ‘buse it you aint gonn’ be able to choose it
    cuz you aint gonn’ have it further on down the line
    things aint gonn’ be so fine
    you’re gonn’ to be sitting there on your little. machine
    tryin to look and keep it clean and
    You? re going to be home playing bingo all night all alone
    and that’s why your sittin there by the telephone
    and you know that she aint goin to call you!

    So you put on the TV and you’re watchin Johnny Carson
    segwayin right into the Tomorrow show
    but that don’t got the go so you turn it off ya turn on the radio,
    the radio don’t’ seem to get the click so you say
    “Hey Man, I can’t lickety split”
    You start to open up a little book
    and there’s somethin there you got to overlook
    and you say “BABY, you know there’s somethin on my mind!
    “You say “Baby there’s somethin on my mind –
    I know that you’re home and I know you aint all alone! ”

    So you start walking over to her house
    and you get over to her house
    and you walk over to her door and
    you start poundin on her door and you say
    “Open up the door bitch!?
    This is wooba gooba with the green teeth, let me in!”

    Well, she opens up the door
    and then you just kinda walk up to her and say
    “Baby”, (say Baby!) you look up way up at her green mascara
    and you say “Oh my darling,
    you know her and me was at the party as friends –
    do not believe what they say
    that’s only gossip that they tellin ya –
    a wise crack of lies!”
    You say Darling!

    Take your big curls and squeeze them down Ratumba –
    What’s the name of the chick with the long hair?
    (Rapunzel!) Hey Rapunzel!
    Heh heh… Hey Reputa the beautah! Reputa the Beautah!
    Hey Reputa the Beautah flip me down your hair
    and let me climb up to the ladder of your love!
    Because this is the wooba gooba sayin to ya
    “Love comes once and when it comes
    you better grab it fast cuz sometimes the love
    you grab aint gonn’ last and
    I believe I musta,
    You know I think I musta,
    You know baby I think I musta,
    You know I think I musta,
    I musta got lost!

    • Festus

      Why? Why you do that?

    • Festus

      #12 puts me on a list. #30 looks fun and legal but #33. Why? Why you do that?

      • westernsloper

        33 kind of scared me.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      21 obviously

      • DEG

        JA!

        Though I’d like #14 too.

      • DEG

        Though wait a minute…. #21 is taken. Dirndl knot is on the right side.

        Well, maybe it’s an open relationship.

  13. Fatty Bolger

    What’s the difference between socialism and democratic socialism?

    In democratic socialism, you get to vote… once.

    • Festus

      For the same Party. Forever and ever and ever…

    • Rhywun

      Nobody needs more than one lifetime vote.

      • Festus

        Sure. Until you turn 30 and “Renew”.

  14. straffinrun

    Bit busy, so I’m barely keeping up with the Barr/Trump/Stone thingy. A five minute look at it and the whole outrage by the media seems ridiculous even by news cycle standards. Is this how it’s going to be from now until civil war 2? Everything dialed up to 11?

    • commodious spittoon

      Or until they talk an electorate understandably disenchanted with Trump into voting for him anyway, because the alternative is psychotic.

      • straffinrun

        Trump is playing 3tard chess?

    • westernsloper

      Yes.

    • Rhywun

      Everything has been dialed up to 11 going on four years now.

      • straffinrun

        Just stumbling around, screaming at every knickknack on your grandma’s window sill is no way to live. You’d think they’d find one that they liked.

  15. westernsloper

    So why does Sanders call himself a socialist? I’d say that it’s mainly about personal branding, with a dash of glee at shocking the bourgeoisie. And this self-indulgence did no harm as long as he was just a senator from a very liberal state.

    He calls himself a socialist to hide what he really is which is a FUCKING MARXIST!!!111!!!!! Fuck Bernie Sanders and anyone who votes for him. #Fuckoffslaver

    • Mojeaux

      #Fuckoffslaver

      Bloomy’s campaign texted me today. blah blah blah orangemanbad will you support Mike?

      Me: Fuck off slaver

      • Festus

        I have the outlandish idea that most people in America reject these ideas. To elect someone that would try to control the size of your soda is a bridge too far.

      • Rhywun

        It’s worse than you think. Forget Bloomberg – it’s Bernie that’s overwhelmingly popular with the cool kids.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        I’ve had a bunch of bernie texts. They universally don’t end well.

    • KSuellington

      I have a mail in ballot that has been sitting on my desk for a couple weeks now. As I’m a registered independent I can pick my primary and I choose the Dem card. Voting is really an exercise in futility, but I will likely fill it out to vote against the bond measures that will almost surely pass here. I’ve been considering voting Bernie for the fuck of it. I know the Dems will like.y kneecap his socialist ass, but I wouldn’t mind him running. It may be something of a lesson to the Dems that far leftist shit should be kept in check a bit when they lose forty states to EL Trumpo. It’s dismaying how many people actually like that fucking commie fuck.

      • Rhywun

        I can’t vote in NY primaries as an independent, so I’ve never had the opportunity to have that kind of fun.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, the Dem establishment is surely not happy with him but I am not sure the dem establishment is in charge anymore. That party is so corrupt it is mind boggling but I fear their corruption may be trumped by their base at some point. They don’t care about ideology anymore they care about power.

      • Festus

        It ain’t good power until it’s wrested power. Just listen to a few of anyone of their speeches. Hillary was the worst for that.

    • straffinrun

      That guy has been cucked a few times.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        That’s pretty much why we keep him (Los Doyers) around.

      • Festus

        He’s got that look on his face like, “Again? Imma go home and eat some HotPockets and chill”.

      • Winston's Mom

        A few?

      • straffinrun

        Only clicked on it the few times HM linked it.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        History is cyclical.

      • Festus

        Time is a flat circle.

      • straffinrun

        Slow down.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        All we are is dust in the wind.

        Dust

        Wind

        Dude

      • commodious spittoon

        I heard it’s a cube.

      • commodious spittoon

        That song used to creep me out when I was little, because of my name.

      • MikeS

        You’re my boy, Blue!

    • commodious spittoon

      Valentine’s is gay. Dating is gay. Women are gay.

      • Jarflax

        If you are dating gay women I may have an idea about what is going wrong for you.

      • Festus

        I tried hard with a bi-girl for awhile. It just didn’t work.

      • commodious spittoon

        I was standing in line buying my bottle an hour ago and was queued up behind a mousy looking girl, which is exactly my type, and I know it’s Valentine’s and she’s probably going home to her boyfriend (or girlfriend, it’s current year), but I was making believe we’d make eye contact or something, and then three punk kids walked out of the department clearly carrying beer and bottles, and nobody batted an eye, and it really got my dander up because here I’m queued up to buy alcohol with money I earned and these assholes are just sauntering out with the store’s overhead, which they’ll just add to my next purchase, and the thought made me really irate and during this welter of indignation I forgot to try to smile at the nice lady in line.

      • MikeS

        here I’m queued up

        lol. wut?

      • Festus

        Indignation can be attractive. Just ask Rashida Tailib! I’d wager that you’re cuter than her.

      • commodious spittoon

        Of all the Muslim chicks you’d hope would embrace the burka…

      • Festus

        Correct! But some women are gay-ish and that’s where the amateur filming begins. I must have seen a few documentaries about that on the inner-tubes.

      • Winston's Mom

        Psychologically speaking, women are indeed more prone to engage in homosexual activity than men.

        *sips cognac*

      • westernsloper

        Go onnnnn……

        *sips tequila

      • Spudalicious

        Yes.

        *sips bourbon

      • Festus

        Sips? I’d have thought you’d gonk from the bottle and let it run across your chest like a good girl should?

  16. CPRM

    It’s amazing all this is going on within such a short time. 2009: Democrats propose Obamacare; Republicans and Liberprogians say that it is just a step to single payer. Democrats deny that and pass it…2020 Democrats advocate for single payer, but those who accuse them of being socialist, even if they call themselves socialist BUT it’s not really socialism…

  17. Heroic Mulatto

    Don’t marry her if she’s not willing to walk down the aisle to this.

    • MikeS

      Would bang to that.

    • Spudalicious

      Did her arms and hands get caught in a taffy machine?

  18. MikeS

    Glib Poll:

    What do you call the receptacle you throw your empty whiskey bottles, used needles, and soiled condoms into:

    a. trash can
    2. garbage can

    • straffinrun

      Winston’s mom?

    • westernsloper

      Empty whiskey bottles go in the ditch, used needles go in the toilet, and soiled condoms go on the drapes.

      • westernsloper

        (serious answer is trash can)

      • R C Dean

        Trash can is in the kitchen, gets emptied into the garbage can in the garage.

    • KSuellington

      Whiskey bottles can be used for future moonshining, used needles can be shared with the less fortunate, and used condoms can be washed and hung to dry.

    • mikey

      You trying to start some sort of Soda vs Pop kerfuffle?

      The answer is Davenport

      • Rhywun

        WTF is that, some kind of Chesterfield?

      • commodious spittoon

        You know how I know you’re gay…

      • Jarflax

        I thought the women were gay? Rhywun doesn’t even sleep with women, how can he be gay?

      • Rhywun

        The science checks out.

      • KSuellington

        Heh, heh. My Irish grandmother used to sometimes call it a chesterfield.

      • MikeS

        Yes.

        And I think you meant settee.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      The Streets of San Francisco

      • Rhywun

        LOL

      • Festus

        ^^^Winner winner chicken dinner! Second goes to Ksway.

    • Gustave Lytton

      A) milk crate
      B) sharps container
      C) only sailors use condoms, baby

    • CPRM

      Toys for Tots

    • Rhywun

      Trash can is in the kitchen. Garbage can is outdoors-only.

      PS. Whiskey bottles go in used plastic bags which get emptied into the recycling bin once a week.

      • CPRM

        I think I usually use it the opposite. Garbage from the kitchen goes into the Trash can at the end of the driveway. The one that is a load of eurocrap is rubbish bin.

      • MikeS

        But doesn’t the garbage truck come to empty it?

      • CPRM

        Yes, the township contracted waste disposal company empties my trash can after I carry the garbage from the garbage can out to the trash can.

      • CPRM

        I think that comes from they days when the man of the house would take the garbage (from inside the house) to the garbage dump; then it got outsourced and became trash. Trash day.

      • Tulip

        CPRM has it right.

      • Festus

        They handed out those silly bins a few years ago. Everything except cans and bottles with the deposit tax go into the main bin. The blue bins are used for storage until they put cameras on the garbage trucks, which happens next year. I’m one step ahead because I have access to industrial bins at work. Fuck you ECOTARDS!

      • Festus

        Oh and cardboard and yard waste gets burned in the back yard. It’s still pretty red-necky around here so everyone just pretends it isn’t happening. All that shit goes straight to the landfill, anyway.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Cameras! Offs…

      • Festus

        Cameras and little detectors. “In all Xer things command!”

      • Gustave Lytton

        What about skips?

      • Winston

        plastic bags

        Hasn’t Cuomo and Deblasio banned those yet?

      • Rhywun

        Plastic bags banned as of March 1st. Not sure what I’ll do when I run out.

      • Winston

        Is there a neighboring state?

      • Rhywun

        Yes, I’m not driving – or taking two trains, since I don’t have a car – to New Jersey to shop when there are dozens of grocery and convenience stores within walking distance of my house. I’ll figure something else out.

      • MikeS

        Get an errand boy.

      • Rhywun

        Get an errand boy.

        The last one got visa-ed out of the country.

      • Chafed

        What did you do to him?

      • Rhywun

        Noted.

        The major annoyance is that I have to remember to bring the fucking things everywhere I go in case I feel like shopping. Bit of an inconvenience in a city where the majority of us don’t have a car. Oh well, at least the alternative is a five-cent fee for paper bags which are oh-so easy to carry around.

      • Mojeaux

        Backpack. ?

      • Rhywun

        Messenger bags are ubiquitous here. I’ll just have to remember to keep some bags in there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Buy from Amazon. That’s what I did.

      • Winston

        How long until Bezos decides to ban them “voluntarily”?

      • Winston

        Or all countries ban them?

      • Winston

        Impressive how something so ubiquitous can be banned so quickly and easily. So much for our tolerant internet society.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Don’t forget straws. Of course, styrofoam containers and CFC aerosols are another earlier version.

      • Winston

        Ironic that the more prosperous and free we are the more we let the politicians have far more power (and tax rates) over us than the Pope or an Absolutist King could ever have

      • J. Frank Parnell

        So around mid-April we’ll have some story on here about a guy getting choked to death by cops for selling plastic bags on the corner?

      • Rhywun

        *snort*

      • Mojeaux

        Trash can is in the kitchen. Garbage can is outdoors-only.

        This is the one true answer. All other answers are of the devil and should be cast out from our midst.

      • l0b0t

        No, no, no, it’s a dustbin and it’s collected by a dustman.

      • MikeS

        Finally. An expert.

        (Unless you disagree with me, then you’re a partisan)

  19. J. Frank Parnell

    he has expressed admiration, not for Venezuela, but for Denmark

    Yeah, but Venezuela isn’t muh Real Socialism, so what does that have to do with anything?

    • CPRM

      Well, honeymooning in the USSR, does that show admiration? I’ve never been on a honeymoon, but I’m pretty sure you don’t go somewhere you don’t think is awesome.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Bah, the USSR was State Capitalism, not muh Real Socialism.

      • Rhywun

        Bern’s new BFF Bill Deblasio wishes he could have afforded the USSR – they had to settle for Cuba.

  20. commodious spittoon

    My brother’s dipshit renters paid their rent, finally. So ends the last unnecessary interpersonal interaction I must have till the end of the month. I hate this job I don’t have.

    • CPRM

      Just wait till your brother has kids and wants you to take care of them, but don’t you dare do any of those things you that we don’t approve of around our kids! People get so bent out of shape over some minstrel shows.

      • commodious spittoon

        Oh, dude, I lived with them when they had my nephew. I did the whole nanny thing for awhile. And now I’m caretaking the house where we lived.

      • CPRM

        Manny Hi-5!

      • commodious spittoon

        She had a big thing about not wanting Trailer Park Boys on when I was babysitting? Lady, you have Netflix. TPB is a fact of life. Your son could do worse than Ricky. He could end up some cretin who looks after his brother’s kid instead of looking after his own life.

      • CPRM

        I let the kids watch cartoon shows. Sure I steered them towards cartoons I liked but I tried to strike a balance. The last election was when it all went dumb. I had spent as much or more time raising my sister’s kids, even doing potty training. But I JUST COULDN’T UNDERSTAND that she’d do everything to keep her kids safe, which somehow meant voting for Bernie, and I just couldn’t understand because I wasn’t a parent.

      • Jarflax

        Safe under Commissar Sanders

      • Festus

        #metoo (thirty-odd years ago)

    • Festus

      Jesus. I can’t imagine how bad it would be to chase delinquents for pay and I mop floors and scrub toilets for a living… At least most of the people appreciate what I do. That sounds awful. Why didn’t Bro deal with the reprobates himself?

  21. westernsloper

    So I put in my Wmart grocer order for pickup. Even though I purchased beer in said order, since I want to pick it up before 8 AM said beer can’t be on the order. How is it that if I buy beer tonight, am charged for that beer at point of purchase via the interwebs the seller I bought the beer from at a “legal time” can’t hand over said purchased beer to me before 8 am? I hate liquor laws. They make no sense.

    • CPRM

      FYTW.

      • Festus

        ^

    • Winston's Mom

      Lick her laws make perfect sense, if you sell lt

      • CPRM

        Lick her laws make perfect sense, if you[‘re one of the businesses already licensed to] sell it.

      • Winston's Mom

        …and I didn’t give you a license.

    • Spudalicious

      We need to know if it was a trash bin, a waste receptacle, or a garbage can. That’s way more important than the money.

      • CPRM

        Finally, some perspective. Money is fungible, but you don’t want that growing in GARBAGE can in the kitchen.

  22. cyto

    Yo, Uncivil Servant. I got curious about audio books and asked google. I filled in our conversation on the last post, but here’s the punchline

    Ok, this seems to be the tool designed for the job

    http://id3v2-chap-tool.sourceforge.net/

    Puts chapter markers into MP3 file metadata.

    And this seems to be a source for how to do things the right way for audio books: https://7labs.io/tips-tricks/create-audiobook-from-mp3.html

    don’t know if this will help, but I hope it does.

    • CPRM

      I’d love to record an audio book. Just sayin. But I am starting new job though, so not sure about hours.

      • cyto

        Just title your audio book “stream of consciousness”. Then you just talk about whatever comes to mind while you commute. You’ll hammer that 45 hour bad boy out in just a couple of weeks!

        Actually, that idea might be copyrighted already. It seems like I have seen that format on Youtube.

      • Mojeaux

        I’d love to have an audiobook recorded, but I can’t afford it.

      • CPRM

        If you’d forgive my eccentricities in scheduling, I’d do it on the cheap.

      • commodious spittoon

        Can I volunteer my voice? I’ve quite a good one. I talk all the time. I’m like the Jenna Maroney of voice acting.

      • l0b0t

        You went to the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks?

      • Mojeaux

        Serious question: How do audiobooks do opposite-sex voices? One voice does all the characters or what?

      • CPRM

        It depends. Some have a single Narrator performing all the voices, other’s are done more like radio play, with a cast and full sound effects.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’ve only listened to a couple and it’s been years but that seems to be the case, and they don’t really ‘do’ characters like voice actors would, very subtle changes are all it takes from one speaker to the next.

    • MikeS

      Orange Whip?

    • MikeS

      I’ve always found it interesting that much of the music the Blues Brothers recorded wasn’t actually Blues.

      • mikey

        They’ve got Rythm AND Blues

  23. MikeS

    Glib Poll #2

    What do you call the bag with two shoulder straps that you use to carry plastic bags for grocery shopping? It can also double as a dead hooker removal container if you make a few trips.

    1. backpack
    b. knapsack

    • blighted_non_millenial

      The fuck?

      • Crusty Juggler

        Obviously an aspiring serial killer. This website houses the musings of serial killers.

      • MikeS

        The fuck you mean “aspiring”?

    • Mojeaux

      Backpack

      • Mojeaux

        Make sure that it is lined in ripstop nylon, if you’re gonna carry body parts in it.

      • MikeS

        #ProTip

      • Mojeaux

        But the really soft kind because the cheap stuff is very stiff and crinkles like a toddler’s bedwetting liner. You can hear it from a mile away.

        Cop 1: I heard crinkly ripstop nylon. Do you know what that means?

        Cop 2: Hooker body parts in a backpack.

        Cops 1&2: Let’s get him!

      • MikeS

        *content sigh*

        You really are a cool chick.

    • CPRM

      I haven’t had either since I was done with school. I get plastic bags at the grocery store.

    • Rhywun

      Backpack. “Knapsack” sounds like something my Pennsyltucky elders might say.

      • Rhywun

        Though, as I noted above, hereabouts people carry messenger bags everywhere. Backpacks are for school kids. Except my last employer handed out these tricked-out Swiss backpacks that I used for business trips.

      • MikeS

        I just got a BACKPACK from my employer for Christmas. I like it. It has all sorts of pockets, including a padded one for a laptop.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, those things are awesome. Fits everything you need for a couple days and you can stow it in the overhead bin. Now all I need to do is scrap their name off it *spit*.

    • Festus

      fagbag.

      • Rhywun

        +1 Sapphire and Steel I wish I could find the clip

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not just for parachutes!

    • Winston

      rucksack!

    • Tejicano

      When I got to my first unit after boot camp I was issued a “1941 Haversack” – basically a square-ish, canvas bag with canvas straps and brass buckles to cinch it up. Maybe big enough to hold a small stack of books. With it came a “1941 Knapsack” – a similar but smaller item which attached to the bottom of the haversack.

      That’s the only time I’d ever referred to such an item as a knapsack.

      • Festus

        We call them bum-bags around here. Every vagrant seems to be given a fancy back-pack and then sent off into the wild. All the better to rob you with, my pretty. Every time you see a grown man riding a kid’s bike, he is up to no good. Double-plus ungood if he is helping along a second bike.

  24. Winston

    I found it interesting that HM said that Mike Bloomberg wants to make everyone serfs when I thought urbanization was supposed to free us from serfdom? Also Bloomberg uses new technology and foreign trade which were supposed to make us all libertarian.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Seriously, give it a rest. No one here, or almost no one here, is under the delusion the Internet/the LP/modern society/your mom/public schools are going to usher in a brave new world of classic liberalism, freedom, and unlimited rice pudding.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And I don’t mean bitching about what wannabe authoritarians are going to do, but the “I thought XX would mean no more YY” straw man.

      • Winston

        I’ll be honest when I am in my “I thought XX would mean no more YY” mode I am less referring to people here but more bemoaning how things seem to have gone wrong and am I wrong for thinking that these things have gone wrong?

      • Chafed

        Amen.

      • Winston

        Sorry. I do want to look at how everything seems to have gone wrong and why. I like to read a lot about old British politics of 18th and 19th Centuries and I find it fascinating how many of the assumptions of the Reformers seems to have not worked out as they hoped and how many of these same assumption are reflected in modern libertarianism. You know trade, urbanization, technology.

      • Winston

        I say “seems” since I am aware that I may be mistaken.

      • Jarflax

        A fundamental tenet of libertarian thought is that experts will at least some of the time, get things wrong. Doesn’t this imply that anyone who embraces this philosophy recognizes their own fallibility? So the formulation XX was wrong about YY isn’t just a snide and annoying way to discuss the questions you raise. It is essentially meaningless because all it demonstrates is the fallibility already stipulated.

        Let me be clear about this because I have jumped on you a lot. I am not dismissing your point, nor trying to discourage you from making points. I am purely objecting to the formulation.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Jarflax says it better than me. It’s the formulation, not really the content.

        Also, exploring the assumptions and parallels would be an interesting article(s) to read….

    • Chafed

      You get me. ❤️

    • DEG

      I like it.

  25. Mojeaux

    YAY!!! The GoFundMe is almost at goal!!!

    • Gender Traitor

      Can we reach goal within 24 hours? I believe we CAN!

      • Festus

        I feel like shit because I can’t join in the fray. I’m so, so happy that this is happening! Yay Glibs!

      • Gender Traitor

        Please don’t feel bad! I think we all understand that many of our fellow Glibs aren’t in a position to take part because of their own personal circumstances.

    • Gender Traitor

      $51 to go!!!

      • Tejicano

        No reason to stop there…

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      $489, wow.

      I’d rather be here with all of you than with the finest people on earth!

      • Festus

        Indubitably.

      • Shirley Knott

        Distinction without a difference.
        We all are amazing.

  26. Winston

    I find it interesting that Disraeli’s One Nation Conservatism already back in 1840s was claiming that classical liberalism was unable to deal with the problems facing modern industrial urbanized society. The Social Liberals in the 1870s made similar claims as did the Progressives, Socialists and Communists. This I think was a key blow to classical liberalism since its proponents then and now proclaim that they are the ones with Modern New Ideas for the Issues of Today.

    • Festus

      Hey Winston! Heard your Mom was hanging around these parts just awhile ago.

      • Tejicano

        Funny! I heard his mom’s parts were hanging around, well, I won’t go into the details…

      • Gustave Lytton

        Wuhan Patient Zero?

      • MikeS

        That’s funny

      • CPRM
  27. Winston

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Election_Day_(United_States)

    By 1792, Federal law permitted each state to choose Presidential electors any time within a 34-day period[2] before the first Wednesday in December.[3] A November election was convenient because the harvest would have been completed but the most severe winter weather, impeding transportation, would not yet have arrived, while the new election results also would roughly conform to a new year. Originally, states varied considerably in the method of choosing electors. Gradually, states converged on selection by some form of popular vote.

    Development of the Morse electric telegraph, funded by Congress in 1843 and successfully tested in 1844, was a technological change that clearly augured an imminent future of instant communication nationwide.[4] To prevent information from one state from influencing Presidential electoral outcomes in another, Congress responded in 1845 by mandating a uniform national date for choosing Presidential electors.[1] Congress chose the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November to harmonize current electoral practice with the existing 34-day window in Federal law, as the span between Election Day and the first Wednesday in December is always 29 days.[5] The effect is to constrain Election Day to the week between November 2 and November 8 inclusive. Beginning with Presidential elections, gradually all states brought nearly all elections into conformity with this date.

    Fascinating that at one point the US did not have a truly national election. Presidential elections took place over a month and the House of Representatives took about year and half. State elections were held at any time of the year. Maine had September elections until 1960. Louisiana held state elections in April until the 1970s I believe.

    Problem with the rise of national elections is that local issues began to subsumed by national and partisan issues. Oh and these national elections cost a huge amount of money. Both ended up undermining the 19th Century electoral reforms which hoped to end money in politics and create politicians who served their constituents not their party bosses or the rich.

    • Shirley Knott

      Now that’s some interesting information. Thanks!

  28. CPRM

    I wanted to give Yusef something through the ‘Go Fund Me’ but papal wasn’t an option. Right now that is where I have some liquidity while I’m living off my meager savings until the first paycheck from the new job payment period starts. Godspeed Yousef.

    • Winston

      papal wasn’t an option

      Ask for an indulgence.

    • Jarflax

      If you want to do this you can paypal me, and I will make the donation in your name. I’d be willing to make it first if trust is an issue, just email me the amount you want to give (my paypal is the email you have)

  29. Trigger Hippie

    *Burp*

    Well, that date was a disaster. Ha! Damn you, penis. What have I told you? Romantic pursuits with a girl with weird colored hair, facial piercings, and a tattoo above the neck line is a fool’s errand. Not to mention that she specifically chose a drinking establishment that she knew that the ex/guy she is trying to make jealous would be at that evening.

    So, with that in mind, please forgive the gangsta misogyny and casual violence in this tune. Or don’t, the fuck do I care? I still listen to Cannibal Corpse once in a blue moon, doesn’t mean I want to eat people:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ikaXVvSeRKY

    • Gender Traitor

      …she specifically chose a drinking establishment that she knew that the ex/guy she is trying to make jealous would be at that evening.

      I hope you ditched her.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Yep, I have zero patience for that noise at this point in my life.

        That being said, I’m bitching about a swing and miss. No, even worse, it’s actually a couple hits and then disappointment. So I take that into consideration, then I think about what Bob is dealing with. So I think I should probably count my blessings and shut the fuck up for the foreseeable future.

      • Chafed

        Good for you. I went on a couple of dates where it was clear early on that my date had other ideas about what we were out. Walking out felt good.

        You have your dignity TH. Your date has
        On the other hand….

    • Festus

      Ah crap. Sorry TH. Dating sucks and then one day it sucks again and few years later it shuts down for good.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      “Hey, man, you have a lot of cranial accessories.” /Mitch

    • Tejicano

      ” a girl with weird colored hair, facial piercings, and a tattoo above the neck line”

      I know I’m too old to even imagine that happening to me but I doubt I could do that even if it was a quick freebie.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, 3 red flags are 3 red flags too many.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh. I didn’t refresh and you beat me to the Flag punch.

    • KSuellington

      Not to make light of your shitty evening, but you may find some humor in it after a few days. I’ve been in a couple of very similar situations, although they were years back. Her jeans are probably on dude’s floor by now. She sounds like a headcase. You likely got the better end of the deal tonite.

      • MikeS

        …and they’ll break up again by the end of next week.

      • KSuellington

        By next Saturday she should be back at the same bar with some dude she met on Tinder. Trigger’s story reminded me of a girl that I was trying to get with for months. A Greek American goddess, no tats, or colored hair, just a smoking brunette young hottie. She led me on for a while and ended up bringing her boyfriend to a show I was playing. Extra long hug and trying to flirt in front of dude. No gracias muchacha, no anal for you.

      • Festus

        ^so much this

      • Akira

        A Greek American goddess, no tats, or colored hair, just a smoking brunette young hottie.

        Oh lawd, our HR lady at work is like this. Beautiful olive skin, black hair, and a thicc figure that looks SO damn good in leather boots, panty hose, and a black skirt.

      • Festus

        “Kira’s got a girlfriend!”

      • Trigger Hippie

        She said a few weeks ago that she’s ‘spiritual’. Red Flag! RED FLAAAGGG!!!

        And of course she is a loving hippie…who happens to want the state to arm people by the tens of thousands so that they can blitzkrieg people who deviate from her preferred ideology.

        Not that the last part is a huge deterrent. Based off that criteria, 95% of the adult population is undateable.

      • Festus

        Try being at a party wherein two girls that you’ve been with start getting along and giggling together. Yep. Later one of them comes home with you and you ask her afterward what she was talking about and she say’s “girl-talk”. That’s a nut-nudge.

      • Chafed

        Some day you will write How To Get With The Ladies: The Festus Chronicles. A month later you will be rich.

      • Festus

        Pretty short chapter. Be between 17 and 24. Make jokes. Don’t be hideous.

    • DEG

      Sorry.

    • DEG

      Not to mention that she specifically chose a drinking establishment that she knew that the ex/guy she is trying to make jealous would be at that evening.

      I just triggered a memory.

      A local brewpub has club night on the weekends. The staff get rid of the tables to open up a dance floor and a DJ plays something approximating club/techno/dance music.

      The first time I was ever in the place for club night was a few years ago, I think a few months after I turned 40. Some former coworkers of mine and I met for dinner at the brewpub. We got a late start on dinner and lingered a bit after we ate. Club night started up while we lingered over a last set of beer.

      Maybe about a half hour or so after club night started up a 22 or so year old blonde sits down next to me and says, “Are you guys rich? Do any of you want to be my sugar daddy?”

      She was there with a few female friends. There was a guy hovering around. We thought he was with the blonde. The blonde insisted he wasn’t. As we chatted with her and her friends, it became pretty obvious to us that she and her friends were hanging out with us to make that guy jealous.

      None of us became the blonde’s sugar daddy.

      • Rhywun

        hanging out with us to make that guy jealous

        I’m kind of gobsmacked that this is a thing. That kind of behavior is completely foreign to me. I mean, I’m no angel – but that is just fucking evil.

      • DEG

        Yep, it’s a thing.

        Sad.

      • KSuellington

        Rhy, you must be gay. Every straight guy has seen that at one time or the other. It’s an all too common theme.

      • Chafed

        Can confirm.

      • Rhywun

        How do you people stand it?!

      • Jarflax

        They have tits.

      • MikeS

        What do you mean, “you people”?

        Fucking heterophobe.

      • Rhywun

        🙂

      • Chafed

        The first couple of times it was infuriating. After that I recognized it and just gave the wenches grief.

      • Festus

        Haven’t you ever seen the experiments with the crack rats? What am I saying? You live in NYC and are a gaybot… I followed my dick around just like that a few times in my 20’s. They lead you on just enough to rile up the partner. It’s as old as a pointy stick but the prey still fall for it. “What’s this? A Cliff? AAAAAhhhhhhh!”

      • Tejicano

        This is one of the reasons I have almost never dated in English, and only dated in Spanish until my Japanese improved to the point I could meet girls in that language. I don’t have the personality to play head games.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yeah… I wouldn’t put up with that for a minute. Nonfidelity, even for ‘pretend’ (?) is a no go. Any man who lets that go on isn’t a man.

      • Jarflax

        Bragging about your gay privilege! I can’t begrudge women the power they have over men. It is obviously an evolutionary necessity to offset our strength advantages, but having been used as jealousy bait a few times, it flat out sucks.

      • Rhywun

        It’s like something out of a bad episode of I Love Lucy except it’s real.

        I’m so, so sorry.

      • MikeS

        Just think what lesbians must go through. I can’t imagine only straight women pull this shit.

      • Rhywun

        I used to live around the corner from a bar that had a popular lesbian night. Hohlee shit, the fights that used to take place directly in front of my 2nd story bedroom window….

      • Festus

        This is why lesbians suffer from bed-death.

      • KSuellington

        Hopefully he can acknowledge his gay privilege and we can move beyond it. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed it before Rhy. Sometimes it’s more subtle than TH’s tale, but it is a very common thing with the wimminz. I think they want to see a brawl to win them. It is way way less common with guys. Those times when I had more than one girl going, the last thing I wanted was them anywhere near each other.

      • Festus

        My Stars! Have you never hung out with an eleven year-old girl? Age-appropriately, I mean.

      • Rhywun

        Nope.

      • Festus

        Huh. I thought you have a sister.

      • Rhywun

        3 brothers.

      • Festus

        My bad. Sorry Rhy.

    • MikeS

      Needz moar shopping mall

      • Chafed

        That was one of the greatest scenes ever.

      • Festus

        I saw that movie when I was a kid, stoned out of my gourd and loved it but I still can’t groove on the music. My Glib card is in the mail.

      • Chafed

        You’re not losing your card for that. Think about what Ted’S posts.

      • Festus

        heh. Half of his posts are the soundtrack to my tweens. How could two AM stations play so much bad music? The worst part is that he doesn’t even surprise me. I know almost all of his troll.

      • Lackadaisical

        I feel sorry for you.

      • Festus

        It is what it is.

  30. DEG

    Its like we pick our thinkers with the same part of our ass that decide The Fucking Big Bang Theory is watchable.

    “The Fucking Big Bang Theory”? A porn parody of “Big Bang Theory”?

    • Festus

      Simpsons did it.

    • Trigger Hippie

      If the girl is a ringer for Kaley Cuoco I’d at least give it a shot…

      We’re not doing phrasing anymore people, piss off. 😉

      • DEG

        If the girl is a ringer for Kaley Cuoco I’d at least give it a shot…

        Seconded.

      • Festus

        Wifey calls her “fat arms”. Make of that what you will.

    • KSuellington

      There is almost a 100% chance of a porn version of that tv show. Whether it is called The Fucking Big Bang Theory or The Big Bang Fuck Theory is up for debate.

      • Rhywun

        No doubt. The other day I discovered that if you leave “SafeSearch” off and search for Futurama images it’s all cartoon porn results.

      • Winston

        Well there is a character named Bender…

      • Rhywun

        PS. It was the first time I’ve ever considered enabling “SafeSearch” – if only because I’m tired of my search results getting flooded with porn I’m not looking for.

      • MikeS

        Do that with Family Guy. I guess a lot of people want to bang Lois.

      • Rhywun

        Ugh, I can barely tolerate the actual show as is.

      • Chafed

        I don’t get it. What makes an average looking cartoon character the object of desire?

      • Lackadaisical

        Waist to hip ratio and testosterone.

      • MikeS

        And she’s a redhead.

      • Chafed

        Jesus I know you are both right. But c’mon. That is is setting the bar so low. I mean at least aspire to Wilma Flintstone or She-Ra.

      • Lackadaisical

        But once you’ve seen all the free images of those 2, you need to find something new. Or if you have a weird fetish, there is some really weird shit out there with Lois.

      • DEG

        I did a little digging on PornHub. It looks like there is more than one porn parody of “Big Bang Theory” out there.

      • Chafed

        Thanks for taking one for the team.

      • Tejicano

        Big Gang Bang Theory

        …Talk about low hanging fruit.

  31. Toxteth O’Grady

    Playa, you still awake? Did your old street name feature a lot of vowels? Do your parents still live there?

    • Playa Manhattan

      Ha! My old street name has zero vowels. Just a number. And yeah, thanks to prop 13, my parents will live there until the coroner escorts them out.

  32. DEG

    I’m out. ‘Night all!

    • Gender Traitor

      #metoo. ‘Night, DEG, and likewise to all the rest of you lovable miscreants!

      • Jarflax

        I’m out as well. I did manage to get an article (maybe a 2 parter) about 75% of the way done with part 1 tonight, so there’s that.

      • MikeS

        G’night to the three of you!

      • Chafed

        You’re up late. Cooking meth again?

      • MikeS

        Just one of those nights when I get a second wind and stay up way too late.

      • MikeS

        I’m Rick James, BITCH!

      • Festus

        Aw. Bye GT! Glad to have made you chuckle a little tonight. Remind the man about the fingers.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      I don’t have any hope they are going to do the right thing.

      • Chafed

        Does HM know about this?

        Also, I gave you a million dollars idea upthread.

      • Festus

        Which one? The Wilma?

      • Festus

        Ah. Just up-swept. The secret is to be young, athletic and charming. When you get older the secret is to laugh at your own jokes. Never fails.

    • Festus

      Scared to click because goatse.

      • Lackadaisical

        ROFL.

        I’m glad I wasn’t the only one.

    • Festus

      I looked. It was pretty fine!

    • Lackadaisical

      Not sure I actually liked it, but it was at least interesting, in a good way.

      • Lackadaisical

        Makes one want to take up heavy drinking and other self-destructive activities. OR maybe thats just my mood this morning.

      • Rhywun

        take up heavy drinking

        Workin’ on it.

      • Festus

        Way ahead of ya! Watch that pancreas, Rhy. That first step. She’s a Lu-lu!

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Yes and yes.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      Didn’t someone just post this?

      • Festus

        How the fuck would we know? Nobody reads the fucking comments around here, anyway!

      • blighted_non_millenial

        You right. You right.

    • Gustave Lytton

      No Peaches?

      • Festus

        I know I shouldn’t but I really dig that tune. The actual singer looks like some hell-scape from a Soc101 class branded in from the WyMyn’s Shelter.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yup. I’m pretty sure she is, little propaganda in there too for the kids.

      • Festus

        Catchy, though.

      • Lackadaisical

        I wouldn’t have posted it otherwise. I’m not TEDs’ for god’s sake.

      • Festus

        I love the idea of Barney Fife going out to fuck the pain away. You go, Don! He probably had nearly as big a member as Uncle Milty!

  33. Gustave Lytton

    It’s only logical to finish off the bottle of scotch rather than leaving a finger or two on the bottom, right?

    • blighted_non_millenial

      True.

    • Festus

      Hold it before your eyes and wonder if it will ever taste this good again. If the answer is no then you remain a man. The answer being yes? You are a goatse.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        err, just drink the scotch.

      • Lackadaisical

        I think Festus has had enough…

      • Festus

        I’m just going with the goatse joke and I’m running out of steam.

    • Festus

      What’s a little vomit between friends?

    • Festus

      “Two in the tush and one in the bush”? Wait! I have been drinkin’ just a little…

  34. Lackadaisical

    At the invitation of Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi, His Excellency Donald J. Trump, President of the United States, accompanied by First Lady Melania Trump, will pay a State Visit to India on 24-25 February 2020. This will be the President’s first visit to India.

    During the visit, President Trump and the First Lady will attend official engagements in New Delhi and Ahmedabad, Gujarat, and interact with a wide cross-section of Indian society.

    The global strategic partnership between India and the U.S. is based on trust, shared values, mutual respect and understanding, and marked by warmth and friendship between the peoples of the two countries. The relationship has further evolved under the leadership of Prime Minister Modi and President Trump, with significant progress in all areas including trade, defence, counter-terrorism, energy, coordination on regional and global issues as well as people-to-people ties. The visit will provide an opportunity for the two leaders to review progress in bilateral ties and further strengthen our strategic partnership.

    I find it really messed up they called Trump ‘His Excellency’, that is reserved for royalty and cardinals.

    https://pib.gov.in/PressReleasePage.aspx?PRID=1602731

    • Festus

      I dunno. His tweet-storms are usually pretty excellent.

  35. Lackadaisical

    Was going to write a whole article on this topic: https://www.freedominthe50states.org/data

    But they already provide the data to you. Definitely going to tinker with this and create my own rankings. Wifey and I wouldn’t mind escaping hell, if only my family would leave with us!

    • Lackadaisical

      They totally fucked up the weightings in their own analysis, for example: marriage freedom counts for 3.4% of the scores, while educational freedom accounts for 2.8% of the scores.

      Obviously, this is a personal issue, for a gay person the weights would be a lot different than for me, but I would weight marriage freedom aorund 1% and educational around 5% as I have a kid, and I’m already married. Also, isn’t gay marriage allowed everywhere now, so what difference, at this point, does it make?

      • Festus

        wydws ^

      • Lackadaisical

        Gesundheit.

      • Lackadaisical

        Sadly the data is only up to date to 2016. Wonder if anyone has compiled more recent data.

      • Lackadaisical

        They really crawle dup their own ass on this one:

        amel:
        The original index’s weight for tax burden assumed that all taxes take away freedom. But in fact some taxpayers consent to at least some of the taxes that they pay, as long as the taxes are legal and generally paid by others. Therefore, taxation is not wholly a violation of their freedom.

        In this version, we take account of this fact of consent to some taxes. Let’s assume that the current tax burden in each state represents the ideal point of the median voter. Positive theories of democracy would suggest that this is as good a guess about where public opinion lies as any. Then 50% of voters would prefer a higher tax burden (and the services it would finance), and 50% would prefer a lower tax burden. Right away, we can slash the tax burden weight in half, because 50% of voters nationally would not see the taxes they currently pay as any diminution of their freedom at all. Now, this move assumes that the median-dollar taxpayer is the same as the median voter. That is unlikely to be the case. In fact, the median-dollar taxpayer is likely to be somewhat wealthier than the median voter and thus more ideologically conservative and more hostile to taxation. Thus, if anything, slashing tax burden in half on these grounds is somewhat too aggressive.

        But we’re not done yet. Of the 50% of voters/taxpayers who would prefer a lower tax burden, most of them would not see all of the taxes they pay as a diminution of their freedom. That is, they would be fully willing to pay a lower tax burden that is greater than zero. To illustrate the logic, assume a normal probability density function over possible tax burdens. Fifty percent of the curve lies to the left or right of the mean of the tax burden distribution.

        Now, what are the losses experienced by those who prefer a lower tax burden than what currently exists in their state? The loss curve will look like a mirror image of the left side of the normal density function. Those who want zero taxation will see all of income taxed away as a loss of freedom. Those who want taxation of 2.5% of income will see 3.1% of income taxed away (mean of actual taxation minus 2.5%) as a loss of freedom. And so on. Because the loss function is a mirror image of the probability density function, the area under the loss curve is also 0.5. So only 5.6%/2=2.8% of personal income, in total, is a loss to those who prefer lower taxation. We can divide tax burden’s weight by two again, or by four in total.

        This should slightly understate the actual victim cost of taxation for 2 reasons. First, the median taxpayer is richer than the median voter and probably a little more anti-tax. Second, it assumes that taxes pay only for desired public services, not rents. To make up for these omissions, we multiply the weight by 1.1.

        However, about 6% of state and local taxes were returned to taxpayers due to federal deductibility. So long as federal deductibility remains in place, the weight needs to be multiplied by 0.94.

        “Some people want to tax you more, and you get something for your taxes, therefore, not all taxes are a loss of liberty, plus democracy”

        Cool story bro. Maybe I will write that article.

      • Tejicano

        I’m almost surprised they include firearms – although it only ranks as 4.5%. For me personally this ranks more like 75%. I can’t imagine moving back to the US to a state where I can’t get a license/permit to carry, where there are restrictions on how I can convey firearms in my vehicle, possess military style firearms, or standard capacity magazines.

      • Lackadaisical

        Thats the thing right? Each person will have a different idea of which freedoms are most important, I wouldn’t ever put firearms at 75%, maybe 15%? Anyway, I think I will write that article. For what it is worth, their website lets you weight each category to your own liking and will generate a ranking for you, its pretty cool.

  36. Festus

    Full exposure – I listen to the Drydock. It’s a show about War ships from the turn of the last century to the fifties (before missiles made them not so cool anymore) It helps me sleep.

    • Lackadaisical

      Full exposure

      *Shields eyes*
      I thought we were done with the Goatse thing.

    • SDF-7

      Heh… count me in too. Drachinfel’s just got a soothing voice, I suppose even though I love the topics.

  37. JD is Unemployed

    It’s a smarmy, dishonest political strategy

    You fuckin’ what, mate? Seriously, Krugabe is a miserably awful person.

  38. hayeksplosives

    I mailed off my request for a mail-in ballot for March 3. I know the presidential primary is pointless because California, but there are 3 “measures” that I feel strongly about, 2 to defeat and 1 to affirm.

    Plus the primary for a new US congresscritter for my district.