October 1995.
The recession was still in full swing in California, no building, no work. Talking to my friend Frank, he suggested that I move to Colorado, specifically Canon City, and I figured, why not?
After a few days of partying it was time to work. Back then I got out a phone book and started at A in a/c companies. I got to Aspen HVAC before I was hired, took about an hour, and off we go. Fast forward a year, I ended up working at a shop in town instead of commuting to the Springs, and met who would become my closest friend out there, Evan.
We were the well-oiled machine at the shop, knocking out any project we were asked to do, and had a ton of fun doing it. Jamming, hacky sack, shooting, a great time to live, then Ricky came by….
He was the grandson of the owner, and while a bit younger than us he was very smart, and ready to have some fun, and told us about a cave he knew of – “OK!” We replied in unison. The next day we prepared, down to the hardware store for headlamps and candles, grabbed some munchies and water and set out, 20 minutes North on a few county roads later Ricky pronounces, “Stop!” We look around on the flat ground in front of us ask, “Really?”
Marble Cave.
After a five minute walk we came across a large opening in the earth. “This is it,” Ricky says, so down we go.
I should mention at this time Evan’s dog Buddy was a constant companion, so we relayed him down into the cave as well. After a descent of 100 feet or so, we enter a HUGE gallery, full of faults and stalactites and such. There was enough traffic over the years that the paths were obvious. Remember we were working with old fashioned headlamps here, no LED, no lithium batteries– a rule we had was everyone carried candles and a lighter, you’ll see why later….
If you proceed left you travel up and into what looks like a narrow canyon, you can’t see the roof, then things get really narrow. I took my Vietnam vet Dad here once. We like to shut all the lights down sometimes to realize how black it really was; Dad was not pleased. At the end of the navigable part of that section was a graffiti chamber, and roots sticking out of the ceiling, so, pretty close to the surface, I found my Easter egg:
Bob 20000BC was carved in the roof!
Now to the right what was called the slot, a slumping of the cave that went out about 100 yards, around a pillar and back, only 3 feet tall, so I tell my son to stay with Evan and I go for it, silly me. Evan sent my son in after me and I didn’t know ’til he was right behind me. “Oh Shit!” I cried, “Follow me Z!” And we finished it together, truly a family affair. He was 5 years old.
Fly Cave.
This cave is less known, another 5 minutes towards the Escarpment, the entrance is on the side of a cliff, walkable if you know where to look, and unique. Flies surround the entrance and know one knows why. This is what’s called a wet cave, it’s wet, duh, but it’s also an active cave, meaning it changes. We basically slide down a 45 degree mud slope about 100 feet to a wide landing with multiple pathways. Take one, so we did, to the right again, and things start to get tight. We went pretty far but you could see it wasn’t all that stable, so we bailed.
The Great Clusterfuck.
We’re into Sunday early, pounding keggers, and Evan says, “Hey guys, wanna have some fun?” and we enlist 10 victims to follow us into Fly. At the entrance I tell everyone to buddy up, it’s easy to get lost down there, and we proceed down. We were looking for and found the Mushroom Cave, so we all crawl through a 3 foot wide hole and have a seat, and start smoking weed. Yes, the whole chamber was filled with glorious pot smoke, and it was good. Then we did a head count, 11 guys, “Oh Shit! If he got lost….”
We split up into parties and searched for a long time. When we came up, there he was, still shaking from the experience, we were too, he knew to go up, so he made it out OK. Evan and I went back the next week, and the Mushroom had caved in.
Wilson Cave.
“Bob, I found a new cave!” Cool let’s go. Off we go to Wilson, this one is on private property, so we need to stealth in/out. Evan, Ricky, Jeff and me all get to the entrance and shit! Fresh slabs on the floor that fell from the roof, a very different cave system, so of course we go deeper.
Since we like to down, we spot the birth canal, a round opening you have to lie on your back to get into and then slide down into the next chamber backwards. Evan goes first and as I follow he kicks me right in the head, wrecking my headlamp. Did I mention candles? Thankfully, by that time I had a spare lamp, but I always keep the candles. Down we go. This cave was very deep and we explored more than anywhere else but it got tight enough we had to back up to get out, that’s enough.
Ending up on the high side exit, we saw bats galore. Me and Evan run out as fast as we can and come up short of a 50 foot cliff. Whoa! So of course we encourage the other 2 to haul ass as fast as they can, laughing as they try to avoid the cliff. We all went home and got drunk.
Aussies.
At the time, I was following the Colorado caving scene and heard a British group was traveling through the cave systems, and sure enough we ran across them, while we were leaving Marble Cave.
I say, “Evan, we are Australian.” He’s like, “I don’t do Australian.” I say, “Fake it.”
“‘Ow ya doing mate, heard you’re round these parts.”
“What ya doin’ ‘ere?”
“Caving, just like you, mate.”
“‘Ey, is that a dog?”
“Yeah mate, that’s Buddy, help ‘im out eh?”
Brit helps Buddy out of cave, “There you are.”
Evan “OY!”
You had to be there, it was a great spoof.
Disclosure: Do Not Attempt to enter any underground passage, cave, mine whatever, without knowing the risks, some are stable, others are not. Don’t be cool, don’t risk being buried alive. I did and it was stupid, (but really fun and I’m glad I risked it!).
Addendum: this took place before the interwebs or smartphones, so there is no photography unfortunately, use your imagination
Addendum #2: Wear clothes you don’t mind ruining, just save em for cavin’ and always leave an itinerary with a loved one.
Obligatory:
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/6644e945-6323-42ea-ae6b-df55deea1035
I would have loved to learn about spelunking when I was younger, but too many other things had my attention.
I’m a Renaissance Man, I do all kinds of stuff, all my life, Broke i may be, but the Memories…..
I was into SCUBA diving. One of my top fantasies was becoming a cave diver. I’ve got a coffee table book that is absolutely spectacular.
I worked with a guy that was into diving and was always going to the caves in Florida to dive. Since we climbed smokestacks for a living, it can be argued about how sane he was. But that hobby really took hold of him, with all the gear and shit he’d waste a paycheck on.
I’m not big on confined spaces. I don’t think I’d enjoy actual spelunking.
Me neither anymore, the fact is it’s really dangerous, if the Wife knew how much, She would never have allowed me to go,
Stick with Mammoth Cave or Carlsbad Caverns, even Cave of the Winds is fun,
Many years ago, my wife and I took a tour of Cave of the Winds. I was all for it, but discovered something about her after we went it; she’s a claustrophobe and dark enclosed spaces give her the leaping fantods.
She was okay until they turned off the lights and left us in total darkness. I still have nail marks in my arm…
But she got her revenge the next day, when we walked across Royal Gorge. I’m an acrophobe.
I drove across it to do an A/C job, I was panicked the whole time, and I used to free climb, no ropes,
It’s horrifying. Most of my staff does confined space entry and I give them all the credit in the world.
OSHA confined spaces?
yes.
Like Attics and under Houses/Mobile homes?
No
Inside Boilers? Pressure vessels?
Yes.
Although your standard structure fire is an IDLH environment, it doesn’t really qualify as confined space. What confined space training I’ve done does not thrill me.
I built the MIL a new bathroom on the Second floor of a 100 year old house and had to get between the floors to do the plumbing,
I’m 130 lb, and barely fit, Then i got Claustrophobia,
It is very easy to panic in that situation, especially if you are taller. The first time can be fairly traumatizing.
It’s akin to the first time Wintston’s mom easily accepts your arm up to your elbow.
*1,000 yard stare*
I’m thinking more like she sinks her arm up yours. Getting cold sweats just thinking about confined spaces.
I went to Kingman today, the Geology on the way is all over the place, folded Seabeds, Igneous intrusions buried by Ash flows, I’m going to study up a bit for a future article, with pictures
Check the book “The Roadside Geology of Arizona” It should have the Kingman laid out. The climb from there up to the San Francisco volcanic field has some great roadcut exposures.
I have to admit, whenever I hear the term “spelunking,” this is what comes to mind first.
Heh. This is the first thing I think of:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spelunker_(video_game)
*ahem*
#2
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Spelunker
HEY YUFUS!
great read
Thanky!
It was a great read.
*inhales deeply*
NNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Wait til you see Mount Fuck You,
Really
Canon City when mentioned, always makes me think of the neutral zone in MIHC.
And they didn’t use a Tilde in the signage on the show,
~
heh, same here
Dear Penthouse Forum,
“We were the well-oiled machine at the shop, knocking out any project we were asked to do, and had a ton of fun doing it. Jamming, hacky sack, shooting, a great time to live, then Ricky came by….”
I like tourist caves but fuck this shit.
Back then it went, Danger? Fun!
I’ve never actually equated “danger” with “fun” but you do you 🙂
Most of the danger I’ve experienced in my life was of the very much not-fun variety.
No skydiving, eh?
Now, that’s some fun…
A few years ago, a coworker wanted me to skydive with him and another coworker but it didn’t happen. (They’d done it before, not me.) That’s a different kind of danger, almost like a roller-coaster or something. Not all that dangerous IMHO. I was seriously considering it. Maybe wouldn’t now.
No, I’m thinking danger as in constantly being on edge during some of the shit ghetto jobs I worked. Or getting mugged a couple times. The kind of danger that I have no control over.
Tandem jumps are pretty darn safe. Skydiving by yourself has some risks involved.
Try it at least once before you get too old.*
*You’re not old, just a generic comment towards Glibs.
You ever see a stray hair on a dual-gender toilet seat and give it an ol’ lickeroo just for fun?
Ewww
“Stray”??
Back then, now I’m a ‘Fraidy cat….
Any updates on the Iowa cockses?
At 8% reporting, bill weld is at 1.2%
I’ve heard he is just going to hand his votes over to Hillary.
Communism and poverty are what’s in! Look out, Donald.
Electionbettingodds has Bernie at >70% and Biden dropping under 10%.
In Iowa or overall?
Either way:
LOLOLOLOLOL
Iowa. 37% overall to win primary vs 23% for Joe.
I guess it would change the system…
They were specifically contrasting “fundamental change” with “the way things were before Trump”. So when a Democrat says they want “fundamental change” I am not sure how to understand that as anything other than “smash the system” i.e. communism. Most of them pretend they won’t go there but let’s get real. It’s the end goal.
Do we burn the system down with a true believer, or let it rot with corruption?
I’m probably too old now to come out on the other side of a “burn the system down”.
Mammary Monday wins the Iowa Cock-Us.
http://archive.li/VprWv
Iowa Starting Line
@IAStartingLine
At one Des Moines precinct tonight, an attendee brought in a concealed bottle of wine, dropped it, and it shattered everywhere
https://twitter.com/IAStartingLine/status/1224497033979011072?s=20
I thought they all drank Busch Light in that flyover garbage state.
Are they first just so we can get them out of the way?
I wish we could sell them to Canada where they so belong.
It was probably just Yellowtail, the Bud Light of wine.
No Cupcake?
FFS, everyone knows it’s Boone’s Farm.
Yeah, when I say “cheap wine” I don’t mean bum wines.
Yellow Tail is cheap but it’s not a bum wine.
Sick burn! I like that stuff. But I don’t drink enough wine to be able to tell the difference between cheap wine and not cheap wine.
No! Iowans love the Busch Light!
Don’t look too much into this because a horrible person tried to ruin this, which was about a trash Iowa person becoming the starting point for a truly endearing charitable campaign, and just enjoy the myth and probable truth that Iowans are a sick people with steel stomachs.
A Crime a Day
@CrimeADay
26 USC §5661(b) & 27 CFR §24.268 make it a federal crime for a winemaker not to report an extraordinary loss of wine.
https://twitter.com/CrimeADay/status/1224518030731948032
John Wayne: The Ultimate Movie Actor
He was playing Yakima Canutt! But also yes fuck off, dummies.
So He WAS Genghis Khan and smoked 4 packs a day?
/ The More you Know….
Now Rush L is doing his John Wayne impression?
Burn!
More like his Marlboro Man imitation.
The cool thing about Yakima Canutt is that they could have used his photo for virtually any professional athlete in baseball, hockey, or football in the 1920s and 1930s.
Dammit. Use this: https://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/persons/66652/66652_v9_ba.jpg
Other cool things about ol’ Yak:
He nailed Kitty Wilks
His stunts
“Don’t be cool”
Well I’m out.
I thought a Disclosure was in order…
Delegitimizing the political system…
https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/bennett-and-kennedy-despicable-impeachment-of-trump-decent-people-must-decry-this-attack-on-our-system
Feature or bug?
I can’t take anything Bill Bennett writes seriously.
I’m guessing infrequent commenter Sandy once took a dump in a cave.
Nick Cave https://youtu.be/FxORulyOXs8
That was a cool read.
Thanks..
The only person in our house who goes spelunking is Mr. Mojeaux.
Just sayin’.
Yeaaaaahhhhhhh Mr. M…
Yeeeeeahhhhhhhhhhh
WTMI, just Sayin’
You’ve got a dirty mind, Yusuf.
I didn’t bring it up , the Heathens ^up there did,
how come no one ever spells my name right? is this some pleasurable torment you inflict upon me?
And it’s Tidge, Yrgal Tidge…
Obo.
Wait … Bob. See? I can spell.
HAHAHAHA! touche!
I’m rolling…. ,m. lp;l
Urban Dictionary also has this definition for Spelunker:
Spelunker
A super long turd that disappears into the unknown abyss of the toilet drain while the other end is still at the surface. otherwise known as anaconda.
I ate so much last night I laid a spelunker this morning.
Now, I kinda want my doc to use ‘spelunker’ with that definition.
I am not going to the caucuses tonight, but watching Death of Stalin instead. Seems more appropriate.
“A modern soldier’s greatest fear, it’s not death, it’s not starvation, it’s chafing.”
Such a fun, dark movie.
Obligatory
https://www.libertariancountry.com/collections/anti-social-justice-warrior-t-shirts/products/dark-humor-is-like-food-stalin-t-shirt?variant=38513527879
Good movie. Very funny.
The Case for an American Tax Strike
VOTE FOR BERNIE, LIBERTARDS!
Blind Squirrels,
Trump says mean things. Truly a moral crusade for the ages.
How’s taxing the ever-loving shit out of liberals working out in the real world?
that was a fun read.
However, if God wanted us to go into caves….Well he just doesn’t. He sure doesn’t want me to. Diving in a cave? I have trouble even thinkig about it.
I did have a surface geologcal issue today. It got back below freezing and the sun finally came out so off I went on my mountain bike on my favorite track. Well, for the previous few days things were above freezing and some shit head decided to mudding on “my” track and tore the hell out of it. When things dry out the ground will be hard as rocks and the ruts (not just along the path, but ACROSS it FFS) will be there forever. This place is basically a desert and outdoor features last a long time
NAP? What’s that?
Public space? FYTW, it’s a tragedy I tells ya,
Tragedy? Yeah. A common one. BLM land, so appropriate.
And some complain about City ownership of parks, I like to walk my dog without Needles and trash around, grass, restrooms, it’s nice,
Fuckin commie piece of shit.
My taxes, my park, I work for the Census Bureau,
I’m Gonna Count YOU!!!!
“NAP? What’s that?”
An ethos for white, male superiority?
it keeps me out of the drunk tank,
Your track? That’s my track biatch!
Mine!
A couple weeks ago before the thaw.
My Track https://imgur.com/a/AFqvsSs
That’s a Bob Ross painting.
Very pretty!
Were you drunk?
Unfortunately, not. The snow is on a layer of rough ice. Even with studded tires it’s hard to hold a line going uphill.
Fucking mountain bikers, cutting a single, ankle breaking, rut in my running track!
I’m starting to geek out waiting for Iowa Caucus results (purely out of morbid curiosity) and resorted to Twitter. I found this one amusing:
I need to get started on the next part, there are plenty of wonderful examples nearby, so I’m hoping to get some photos for reference,
Basin and Range,
Twin Peaks:
Go.
Been.
That photo’s looking west from the top of Twin Peaks, just missing our house in the Ashbury Heights/Upper Market area in the frame.
It was a glorious view of the Bay from there, and we lived in a very cool Edwardian Arts & Crafts house built in 1908, with all kinds of inlaid wood patterns, beveled colored-glass cabinets and other neat things. But we were commuting to the East Bay every morning and back in the evening, the city was starting to change for the worse, and so we got out of there 20 years ago and moved to the other side of the Bay Bridge. Never have regretted the move, but it’s easy to get nostalgic with photos like the one you linked.
I lived in the Western Addition for one year. Shit job, evenings and overnights. Almost no time for a social life. Some good friends – mostly expats from Buffalo like myself. But I figured out that it wasn’t for me and hightailed it to NYC 23 years ago. I missed SF terribly for a couple years, if only the weather and the views 🙂 The people? Ugh.
24 years ago in SF we had a bunch of friends who had all gone to Rochester Institute of Technology together. Being where it was I would imagine some of them had friends from the Buffalo area who were now in The City as well. Given that small world thing, it’s highly possible we would have been at some of the same social events in 1996 or 1997.
Rochester is my hometown and I don’t know anyone who went to RIT *shrug*
Not such a small world after all 🙂
So you purposely went into a cave? Like a “if the light goes out I’m lost forever in the dark” cave? Gives me shivers just imagining.
Headlamps, and candles with matches in our pockets JIC, yes, really stupid, but I have seen things you haven’t dreamed of,
Galleries and Spires,
in the Darkness held,
a home for creatures,
with Nocturne tales,
No kidding. Can’t imagine you went in with just a half filled Bic.
Cave of the Winds outside Colorado Springs will show you all of that, with lights, guard rails, and a guarantee that you come back out. 20 bucks.
No Danger, no Fun, i did that then, I’ll go golfing now, much safer…
“if the light goes out I’m lost forever in the dark” cave?
Yes
Why am I on Facebook again? Oh, right. That’s where all my readers are.
*sigh*
Follow the money, readers are money, kind of like, Customers?
Exactly, customers.
You need better readers.
A facebooker and his money are soon parted….
*Kermit sips tea* Oh, really?
Did you forget how stupid Americans are?
/Nothing to do with Mo…
Spelunking and causcuses and Yakima Canutt. Are you all high?
Yes.
And having butt sex with my Mexican cleaning person.
Winning!
She has a name, cisslord! Her name is Roberto
I resemble that remark…
“narrows gaze”
Are you all high?
Omg I’m so high. And it’s only Monday. Isn’t it like noon Tuesday where you’re at? They’re gonna fire you for me drinking while you’re on the job… or something.
Dude, you need me too lay off the weed, Straff is upset it keeps getting you stoned….
Well then stop! Nobody’s forcing you to get me high.
But admit it, your happy…..
I am. I really am.
Speaking of Colorado- it was 74 yesterday. We’re at about 4 inches of snow, and 7am tomorrow is predicted to be 11, and feels like 2. Hoping school is canceled tomorrow, but not optimistic. Predicting my ass freezing about 6am as I chip ice off the mazda…
But it’s for the kids!
The Super Bowl parade should be fun though.
Yeah. I don’t mind waiting in the cold to welcome home our returning Super Bowl champs!
Wait, what? Did I miss something? You’re in KC?!
No, the Broncos won. Didn’t you get the memo?
Shit, that’s right. I totally forgot.
KC is a bunch of wannabes. In my universe (the very bestest universe) the Broncos always win the superbowl. And how could they not this year, when all they had to do was beat the 49ers?
And what a good job they did. Well done!
Thanks! I mean, personally I didn’t do anything, but man, Elway just can’t be stopped, you know?
Let me guess where you bought your last car…
Jimmy Johnson Toyota Subaru?
47, 35mph winds, high of 54, in the Fucking desert…..
Sounds like fire
Yeah, my wife had to go to Vegas on business today.
I guess it was 71 degrees there yesterday, but 35 degrees today? Yikes.
Good heads up, I’m going up tomorrow
75 real degrees here with an expected low of 68. This shit is slowing my tomatoes so I probably won’t have these become ripe until Friday. Good damn winter weather.
I have not been spelunking. I have gone through a few cave tours on either the little carts/trams or on foot. I consider myself claustrophobic if it’s a place I can’t easily shimmy out of (I have to close my eyes in an MRI machine), but I like caves. Fortunately I have never had to orienteer my way out of one.
I wish i had pix, once you were in, it was like an inverted Grand Canyon, glorious, but we hiked and climbed all over the Rockies at the time, so it was just another adventure,
OOOh, Bishops Castle!
Okay, so I went and looked. I’ve been to Marvel Cave and Fantastic Caverns, and I’ll be damned if I can remember the other one(s).
I have temped in Subtropolis, though. Does that count?
Caves are awesome, so yes they count, mine just was a bit more… tedious, with potential for bad things,
but here we are.
Wife has a show from Netflix on about tracking down a kitty killer. It’s a melodramatic version of 4Chan with grownups. Except that they’re slower to track down the guy.
On the other hand, Trooper beer goes well with chicken fricassee. Abe Lincoln may have been a warmongering constitutional shitting asshole but he had good taste in his favorite meal.
*Checks out caucus coverage on Murican Tee Vee* Holy shit is the coverage cringey. People slathered in makeup and fumigated with hairspray talking all sooper seriously about the gravity of the moment. Fuck off.
“A candidate that is electable is the candidate than can be elected.”
Verbatim. /Talking head.
And she later goes on to expand on that brilliant observation with, “The person who is electable is the person who can gather the most votes.” I give up.
Can’t time stamp it, but it’s the African American lady at about -3:00.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk3RMiCyoak
“well you see, when you have to go pee, you go pee”
same thing…
RIP Don Gennaro.
I’ve been trying to follow results online, and there’s squat.
I think the ones in control aren’t liking what they’re seeing.
Looking Bernie, eh. Team Blue is screwed.
Yeah, he won the first round, then they did the “doesn’t count!” thing, and now it’s Buttigieg. The Bernie Bros have every reason to be pissed.
Ron Paul would like a word
Cat Video: ‘my food dish is now only half full…’
https://twitter.com/Cory__1077/status/1224491846669230081
That cat needs to try harder. How about yowling for hours on end like (one of) mine does?
Clearly, you’re failing at the job. Your cat is just giving you feedback
The other one seems OK with the food supply. If they can’t get their story straight I’m not gonna alter the routine.
So, I’ve been playing Disc golf now for about 2 months, learned some things, played some rounds, and I’m the #5 player at my course this year, (so far), time for an article?
No. It’s just frisbee dude
Really, do you understand the physics of flight? No you don’t,
I fly, all kinds of things, try it sometime,
Golf frisbee alight!
Understand the physics of flight!
A-a–a-h-aa-aa, Afternoon Delight!
Nice!
Reverse psych? I’m writing one now, Douchenozzel.
Big steps being taken at the Libertarian National Committee meeting last weekend. Observer Chuck Moulton comments “Hagan proposes a policy manual amendment offerring “junior memberships” for small children and pets, which then have none of the benefits of membership beyond a membership card. This came up because a lizard apparently got a membership and posted a photo of the membership card on Facebook.”
I dig going caving. It’s been a while since I have been. The Eastern part of PA has tons of limestone caves. I used to go with some of my friends back at Kutztown university. We went at night illegally. All the artsy and rock chicks had caving clothes.
I also dabbled in abandoned mine exploring. That’s a bit dangerous due to the gasses and risks of cave in.
I haven’t done either since I was old enough to drink. Take that for what you will.
I did a few mines, real sketchy, and Wilson was PP, was could have been shot, being Rural CO and all,
but that was part of the fun.
That was part of the fun.
It is supposed to be below freeIng and snowing on Wednesday. There is supposed to be 1M people at the parade. All the schools are closing. I want to go but I have enough trouble dealing with the 3 other people in this house. How am I supposed to deal with 999,997 more?!
Pretend you’re an extra in a Fellini film.
Stay home and get drunk, forward other people’s posts, and just pretend that you went.
https://babylonbee.com/news/breaking-health-officials-quarantine-portland-to-prevent-spread-of-communism
Dammit. And I had to go Wednesday. Oh well.
it’s about time.
Bullshit. That’s not real Corona virus.
*applause*
Killer Album,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITxHBQTHBt0
“In an unexpected result, Hillary Clinton has won the Iowa primary”
…. probably
…because all other candidates committed suicide.
https://i.imgur.com/wQHPvkq.jpg
NSFW.
https://i.imgur.com/mXYpfzW.jpg
NSFW.
https://i.redd.it/mk4k4jnnb6p31.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/7Wssd/62e85481b588c06cfe8a3ed0a60a0440cc5f05cc.jpg
NSFW.
Better, that worked, she’s cute, needs more redheaded hips
Is that in an airplane?
Sign in? no…
Archive links upcoming.
http://archive.li/BKqUl/677c4aae0e82ac6d15c3eed7e1b5aa79fd04dd4b.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/nAnCC/00d46eb023a2a26bd83634d385ea9eb84ae7d396.jpg
NSFW.
I like her,
Nobody’s at work except straff, and apparently his employer let’s him get all kinds of buzzed at work
Not me. I took the day off. Worked 6/7 days a week since New Year’s. Wife at work and kid at school. *Big Grin*
Well good for you!
Uh, the fuck you say…
How you doing? Today been busier?
No….not that I’m aware of.
Why?
Oh, right– I’m doing as well as usual, I suppose.
You ‘n’ yours?
Shooting deaths at a college campus. Figured maybe you might be getting extra work just to be doing something, even with zero correlation or threat.
There was a shooting at a college? Not a word I’ve seen, nor heard today.
Doing good. Almost bedtime and start the hamster wheel all over again tomorrow. Stupid dry cough has been lingering still.
https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/texas-a-criminal-investigation-underway/2304016/
En Tejas ese!
Huh….A&M Commerce. Not exactly a bustling metropolis of crime.
/took my state jailer’s license exam there.
Jailer’s license? Do tell.
I was a jailer at the beginning of me LE career, and the PD put me through a jailer’s academy so I could be licensed. Nothing more than that.
/Interestingly, it was at one of the campuses in my current district.
So you weren’t always ‘outside’ the system?
Are any of us?
o_0
15. When are you allowed to have sex with a prisoner?
a. Never
b. Anytime
c. Only through the bars
d. Only if they’re really hot
e. c & d
f. On if you’re in a “sexual emergency.”
Interesting.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jsm.12293
That’s what (((you))) want us to think, isn’t it?
It’s a conspiracy.
They really are openly screwing Bernie again. Quality control. LOL.
https://twitter.com/Evan_Rosenfeld/status/1224534265410404353
This just in from Iowa…
Totally. Even if it were just a glitch or they were trying to get it right, they have lit a conspiracy fire that won’t be put out.
They cheat in general elections, why would anyone think they wouldn’t cheat in primaries too?
Ultimately, this will lead to the end of the Demoncratic party, a Green/Trad split maybe?
I can’t wait for this entire election to be over.
this, Call it for trump now, damned elections!…..
It’ll be something just as stupid when this is over. Live in the moment, Man!
The guy in my Japanese class wearing his 2016 Bernie bro cap can just go back to wearing a pink Planned Parenthood t-shirt.
Why is he studying an Ethno state language?
Becuz this:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Eti4HuTEXfE/UH3bMXafRMI/AAAAAAAABDQ/vCi9yfw7f4g/s1600/professora%2Bgostosa.jpg
I may have a whole folder of images like this…
All the gushing about how hawt J Lo looked at the half time show made me think about anime. If people are so turned on by a chick whose flaws are all covered by nylons, make up, surgery etc, why not just jerk of to the pic you posted? Both are as far removed from reality.
He and his wife are BabyMetal fans.
Doing to him what he’s been trying to do to us.
Fuck the little commie bastard.
“We are punching above our weight!”
/Klobuchar
If you hate this, you hate life.
And she is surrounded with supporters wearing T shirts that say, “Our Amy will beat Trump”.
But she UGLY, she ain’t got no alibi!
She Ugly!
What ya gonna do when the Klobuchar Army runs wild over you, brotha?
Now the kitty killer is a puppy and human killer.
The real shocking twist is at the end when they reveal he voted for Trump, too.
Is there a love interest subplot where the guy investigating is also tapping a crazy cat lady?
http://img.memecdn.com/kum-amp-amp-go_o_2686945.jpg
Well, they just called it: 90 minute delay for the start of school. Doesn’t help me, I still gotta be there at normal time, and really screws working parents. Cancel or don’t: 90min late start just screws everybody.
Kids, I don’t miss em,
/grown and gone
He’s Otto the school bus driver.
I love em. My last job, I was maintenance for a hoa. No matter how good a mood I was in, I’d be pissed after reading emails. Here, completely opposite. My office is on the 1st grade hallway. No matter how bad I feel, 5 minutes watching the kids and I’m laughing my ass off.
Pervert.
Went spelunking in some caves for a school trip when I was a young teen, even though I was a lot slimmer, my frame was already too big and it was very uncomfortable.
On the job front, HR meeting tomorrow to get everything squared away. Slowly I’m becoming employed.
Don’t say anything in the meeting. Trust me.
It’s the ‘prove you are who you say you are and piss in this cup’ type meeting.
Just what the hell kind of
indiansNative Americans are you meeting with??Ixnay on the aitivaes! That was said off the record! Can you even find Ukraine on a map!?
Eh, I just point at Russia. Or, look for “The” on older maps.
/my bad
So there is a chance that in the past you misidentified Sudan as Ukraine?
Depends on what color they used on the maps.
Take a left turn at Aleppo.
Aleppo-qoique
#me too
I’m impressed that Joe stayed up this late to give his speech. Those early bird specials aren’t gonna eat themselves tomorrow.
Mmmm….early bird….::gurgle::
If you had to pick, who looks scarier?
She was high on her
owndad’s supply.Katherine Mangu-Ward
@kmanguward
What if the real winner in Iowa is the friends we made along the way
Awwwwwww….
She’s so adorable.
I’m cum on her face.
*I’d
Good, I thought you were using an archaic translation like Oppenheimer.
It was a metaphor for his state of being.
So Buddhist and not Hindu?
It’s “Imma”
It’s like you don’t even Kanye
You’d come on her id? What would you do to her super ego?
I was gonna tell you not to sell yourself short.
As long as it’s none of the howling-at-the-moon lunatics running for the nomination.
Barkeeper’s Friend, oh how I love thee. Let me count the ways!
For truth!
Bernie’s speech actually covered the issues. The man sure does know how to demagogue. I don’t think that a socialist bragging about “knocking on thousands of doors” is such a good message, though.
Packed plane. For some reason people are spraying perfumes on themselves before we deplane. I’m choking.
Who does that?
Kills
SARSFLUEbolaCorona Virus?If only the Chinese had Limes….
does the toilet work?
Waiting for the hotel
And a big thanks to the Editors for deciphering, my scribbles,
Cheers!
By delaying the results of the caucus, the DNC has given Joe a giant gift. Intentional? Looks like it.
Might backfire. The Berniebots already have a chip on their collective shoulder from 2016. If they feel like they’re getting fucked over again, they might just screw over the Dems.
Yeah, I can see that. Let me rephrase: “The DNC has tried to give Joe a giant gift.”
The DNC has tried to give Joe a giant gift.
Like a spelunker or Anaconda?
What a difference a few months can make.
https://mobile.twitter.com/LukewSavage/status/1224504958877302784
She consistently has terrible takes. It’s impressive, really.
That’s whataboutwhataboutism.
Yeah, that’s one of those things I don’t get, I didn’t even get it when We The Internet did a sketch on it.
Oh yeah?! Well, what about the guy that always say “what about…?” to everything you say?
Apparently he has brain cancer, or something. We should start a gofundme or Make a Wish?
Yeah, she got her shoulders cut off.
I don’t understand!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhbgB86NUSQ
The Mayor Pete packed the front row with black chicks. How would you not see that as pandering?
Because it’s Reparations, you white supremacist.
I’m such a white supremacist that I’m trying to dilute the melanin of POCs.
You think it’s your white privilege to have sex with an Asian woman, imparting your patriarchal western ideals onto the offspring makes you a fucking colonizer! Even worse.
I though he packed the back row.
PLIIIIIIINK!!
/damn you! ??
It’s like driving through a puddle to splash the dude waiting for the bus. You just can’t pass up the opportunity.
Damn right!
I didn’t know there were so many colored folk in Iowa. And they all love Petey.
Tonight is one of those nights where twitter is comedy gold. *Everybody* is dunking on the DNC. Probably won’t be able to go to sleep for a few more hours yet.
All American ??⭐️??
@Redtowel4
Democrats. Iowa caucasus.
What’s going on……?
#bernieisscrewed
https://twitter.com/Redtowel4/status/1224551032396689408?s=20
They’re learning that when you throw your hat in with authoritarians, the authority usually ends up turning on you.
Donnie Jr (fuck Twitter’s POS app)
Nancy Pelosi, is that you??
No, I’m Thomas Massie
Wasting all that powerwall electricity to have a gif avitar is racist! Or something then.
It looks like that A rab lingo to me!!!
COLLLUSION!!!!!
Thank God the results are written down. Nothing could tamper with those results.
https://twitter.com/gelliottmorris/status/1224549991177474048
No Russians can copy American writing, this is known comrade.
Fact check true. They often put some of the letters backwards.
I talked with some Iowa friends tonight. I guess the DNC brought in some scientists to analyze and adjust the raw data. Looks like the adjusted data is running “cool” for Bernie.
Aw. So the results are sure to be true. Science!
Bernie and Liz better stay away from the Big Sky Country.
Montana state rep says US Constitution calls for socialists to be jailed or shot.
https://boingboing.net/?s=montana
Big sky means lots of room for helicopters…
/just sayin’
Tried to follow the sourcing, but it asked me to subscribe to ‘The Billings Gazette’ something I don’t think will be of use to me ever.
No Sky for Phocahontas, stay on ground with deer, on highway……
Who really cares about Iowa? or anything else the Dems do? I get it’s fun to gloat, God knows I do, but I’m thinking, why waste my precious time on a foregone conclusion, I say, go have fun, in spite of politics!
The SNAFU tonight was a perfect example of what the DNC does. It’s glorious and it made laundry day a little better. My whites are whiter and less cream colored.
Clorox much?
/wife skills..
Ancient
ChineseJapaneseColonizer secret?We can only hope…
Euphemisms.
Literally.
Going to Vegas tomorrow to see the Wife, I’m down below 100$ and I’m hoping for tax money soon, my job looks secured, but you have to make hours to make cash,
interesting times,
Ah shucks, this was posted under this new screen name when I got here. Didn’t know it was you until you said that. As always Positive Vibes, and for the new name, Big Love.
TRUMP2020! what else do we got?
/Bumper sticker
By the by, just started watching the How to Make Everything youtube channel. It started out as just a vague ‘farm to table’ kind of thing, but I guess in the last year switched to more experimental archaeology where he’s trying to advance through time using only tools he builds using his current ‘tech tree’ (ala Civ). Binge watched all the content since that ‘reset’ today while I was rendering a client video.
Was it any good?
I enjoyed it. Like I said, I binge watched. Don’t do that if I’m not interested.
I was more focused on the “while I was…” part, and thought you meant you ran it background-like for the whole season; which, I claim, equals binge-ing.
Rendering video is always in the background, just need to make sure I don’t run memory intensive programs (like games) while I do that. Why I never knew whether or not to include render time in a quote. Sure I have to be around to make sure it doesn’t crash, but I don’t actually have to do anything if it doesn’t.
Just like hog fat.
Hog fat has a fairly steep learning curve. But, I’m confident you’ll master it.
#LikeABoss
Is Hog Fat a Fog Hat cover band?
Ye-No…. Hurry up and trademark the name! Use your entertainment field contacts to wrassle up some musicians.
Just sent you an e-mail about my local music connections.
RCA or minijack?
3/4″
Damn–thought that was about Hog Fat….
They waited too long to make the one about making fire, but other than that (and not understanding capital investment when valuing items created) it has been good so far after this ‘reset’ I only watched a few videos from before that.
Andrew Yang?
@AndrewYang
·
9m
It might be helpful to have a President and government that understand technology so this sort of thing doesn’t happen.
What does the President have to do with the Dem’s Iowa caucus? He wants to make the parties publicly owned entities?
I’m sure he does, and, doesn’t want to stop there.
It’s just a joke… I wouldn’t take it literally.
but the MSM takes all Trump’s jokes seriously. /whataboutism? Is that how it works? If so it’s a house farts, not even of cards.
Heh.
I went to Google Play search and typed “Iowa c” and got “Iowa Caucus App” as a suggestion.
But, not Iowa Cock? Someone’s asleep at the wheel…
there’s an app for that?
Considering Googleplex’s ubiquitous-ness, if you didn’t see it offered, I’m thinking no.
/fingers in lots of pies.
//wait…
Ehh; shitty formatting. Should have been, “not ‘Iowa Cock’?”
OK–some of these ideas are kinda entertaining… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGpBJ4yfTsc
If they are going to us a robot voice, it should be Bender
OK, I now understand. And wholeheartedly agree.
/too many viewings of these videos, so I automatically associate them with that voice
Close soup, lord bless our AI idiot overlords.
https://twitter.com/nprpolitics/status/1224556345854169088?s=20
Supposed sent by email, so why the need for the address block? And if they’re going to be briefed soon, why would they send an email? The posturing makes them look idiots. I do like the choice of BID’N as the campaign logo for Gropin’ Joe. Nicely reinforces the messages than he’s available for offers like his son.
Idiots? Seems pretty simple.
Nice. And his kid is named “Hunter”. Fits. Tomorrow’s News.
That made as much sense as Joe,what are you saying?
Got my Nostromo “patch” t-shirt today.
Don’t know why anyone would care. But, why not, amirite?
Sure, why not?
Alt-right, I got that HR meeting tomorrow, I can’t spend my whole night hanging out with so many white supremacists, I gotta sleep after all.
Sleep is for eye-closers.
It’s the cousin of death.
https://nj1015.com/is-facial-recognition-technology-worth-the-privacy-trade-off/
No.
https://kstp.com/news/dog-found-on-beer-can-to-be-reunited-with-owner/5631606/
Beer. Is there anything it can’t do?
That’s excellent. I love reunited and it feels so good stories.
I had no fun spelunking. I was just a kid. My damn suit was on inside out, I was cold, soaked to the skin, and frequently grazing myself trying to squeeze through small gaps. On top of that, the whole experience was marred by a sense of claustrophobia and seemed to last for hours. Always another tiny gap to squeeze through followed by another pool of muddy water to wade through neck deep. That’s not to say I don’t like caves. I’ve seen some spectacular sea caves, with walkways, and lighting, and a fun boat ride. I just don’t think I’ll ever choose the spelunking variety of cave exploration again, and hopefully it never chooses me.
Get up, you lazy Americans!
I’m up! I’m up!
I had to put a dot of adhesive-backed Velcro on my alarm clock’s snooze button. After doing so well for a while, lately I’d been hitting the turn-the-alarm-off-until-tomorrow button instead of the snooze.
I was walking from the parking lot to the office when you posted that.
Stop driving it is killing gaia. Take a bike instead
A: No.
B: Don’t tell me what to do.
C: My commute is already a half hour of driving. Eight hours of biking would not do at all.
D: I can’t ride a bike.
E: Bicyclists become roadkill
F: It’s fucking winter.
No
Sacrifice
Is
Too
Small
For
Gaia
Well, if Gaia’s willing the make the sacrifices, she’s welcome to.
Still no Dem Iowa Caucus results?? What a giant cluster$%^*! So will it be any better in New Hampshire? Do they conduct straightforward voting or do their quaint Yankee town meeting stuff? I’d indulge in some schadenfreude, but I fear that’s how you get Hilary at the convention.
You had to include “Dem” in your question.
Drat. I was gonna say 97% Trump
I’m very detail-oriented. (“Nitpicky” is such a judgmental word.)
You have to be detail-oriented to pick nits. You wouldn’t want a recurrance of lice because you missed a nit now would you?
Now my scalp is going to itch all day.
At least you know it’s all
onin your head.The final results are in.
https://results.thecaucuses.org/
“None of the above” for the win!
That might have actually happened (given the procedural change) and the powers that be are throwing a fit about it.
Else they couldn’t decide how best to rig the results.
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/02/03/report-unreleased-des-moines-register-poll-puts-bernie-sanders-on-top-joe-biden-in-fourth-place/
I have to say I still don’t trust polls.
Everyone gets a participation trophy.
The end.
Of course not, Boris. The financials on the NHS make it poison. We don’t want to buy the darn thing.
Inferior to British food? The jokes write themselves.
The sugar content would devastate their already weakened teeth, clearly.
You don’t like baked beans for breakfast? What kind of continental Phillistine are you?
I don’t recall if that was an option at the breakfast buffet at the Nottingham Belfry, but the vast majority of the food there was pretty good.
I’m afraid the hotel was almost the exclusive source of food for my stays in the UK, so this is not a representative sample.
But Chlorinated Chicken
Are we talking Clorox Chicken, or some knock-off brand?
Will post again in 20 minutes, but does no one in Iowa read xkcd?
https://xkcd.com/2030/
No one reads it, they just randomly reference it.
You have to read it to know what exists to randomly reference.
Not really. But I just know the next retort will be that viewing the text on the random salient entries bouncing around the internet counts as “reading” the series or somesuch.
Now we know the real reason why UCS wears gloves.
+2 voting gloves
‘sup homie
Hangin’ in. Hope all’s well with you. New Donato’s looks to be almost done!!! ::happy dance::
Gotta leave for the ol’ day job. Catch you soon!
After burning and burying the software, burn and bury the gloves used to handle the software. Repeat at least three iterations to avoid direct contamination.
Then bury the kiln.
DO NOT USE OPEN FLAME!