IFLA: The “I’m Doing this for my own Benefit” edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Feb 16

by | Feb 16, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 109 comments

I’ve got a full day of shooting scheduled today* (seriously, from 10:00 – 6:00) that includes such stages as “welcome to a score of zero, sucka!” so let’s get to it, shall we?

Good news for me, as Mars is in Sagittarius which is favorable for marksmen.  Beyond that Mars is aligned with Jupiter and Saturn, both of which indicate that I’ll need to take things slowly and use greater discipline to succeed.  Jupiter is also in a secondary alignment with the sun and Mercury, indicating that good visibility will be necessary if I’m going to try and speed things up.  Unfortunately astrology, much like climatology, has very little to say about the weather.  Good news for gynophiles as both Venus in Aries and the Moon in Scorpio will make the object of your intentions more receptive.  Mercury in Pisces warns about a flurry of trivial, unimportant news.

This week is not looking terribly good.  There are no wands or cups present, which represent the generative aspects.

Aquarius:  Queen of Coins** –   Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty

Pisces:  Ace of Coins reversed –  The evil side of wealth, bad intelligence

Aries:  4 of Swords reversed – Vigilance, retreat, solitude, hermit’s repose, exile, tomb

Taurus:  8 of Coins reversed – Voided ambition, vanity, cupidity, exaction, usury

Gemini:  8 of Swords reversed – Disquiet, difficulty, opposition, accident, treachery, what is unforeseen

Cancer:  The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will

Leo:  The Hermit reversed – Concealment, disguise, policy, fear, unreasoned caution

Virgo:  2 of Swords reversed – Imposture, falsehood, duplicity, disloyalty, misdirected vengeance

Libra:  Death – End, mortality, destruction, corruption

Scorpio:  The Empress – Fruitfulness, action, initiative, length of days, the unknown, clandestine, difficulty, doubt, ignorance

Sagittarius:  5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss

5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy

*Today meaning the day this is published

** This card literally leapt out of the deck and landed in place as I was shuffling.  That probably means something.

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

109 Comments

  1. Spudalicious

    “ Libra: Death – End, mortality, destruction, corruption”

    I’m really getting tired of being treated like a Capricorn.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      were Capricorns mentioned at all?

      not that it matters: more shitty stuffy happening to shitty people

      • Spudalicious

        I think this is it:

        “ 5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy”

        It’s gotten so bad, he doesn’t even have to identify it as Capricorn anymore.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        probably so

        good news: I already had an emotional budget for this

      • Spudalicious

        It’s good to plan ahead.

  2. The Hyperbole

    “welcome to a score of zero, sucka!”

    Are you saying that hitting three dudes standing behind two dudes from 25 feet is difficult? Looks easy in the movies.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss

    I demand a recount!

    • Spudalicious

      I think we should all get together, find an Aquarius and violate the NAP.

  4. MikeS

    Pisces: Ace of Coins reversed – The evil side of wealth, bad intelligence

    Does this mean I’ll be getting into politics?

    • Chafed

      You would be a step up from your two no name Senators.

  5. MikeS

    This comment brought a question to mind:

    Good news for me, as Mars is in Sagittarius which is favorable for marksmen.

    Wouldn’t that be good news for all marksmen everywhere on the planet, or does it only apply to people who believe in Astrology?

    seriously, from 10:00 – 6:00

    Stop your plinking and answer my question, please. kthnx

    • Spudalicious

      Depends on whether you’re talking Northern, or Southern Hemisphere. I believe the Southern Hemisphere is the opposite.

      • MikeS

        It has to do with water swirling the opposite direction, doesn’t it? Science is so interesting!

    • MikeS

      My question brought another question to mind:

      Does Astrology apply to the entire universe, or only our solar system?

      • Spudalicious

        If a bear shits in the woods and no one is there to smell it, does it really smell?

  6. westernsloper

    Good luck NA! and WTF? Gemini: 8 of Swords reversed – Disquiet, difficulty, opposition, accident, treachery, what is unforeseen Not cool.

    • Spudalicious

      It could be worse. You could be Aquarius and expect a good week and by the end of it, can haz a disappoint.

  7. Spudalicious

    Trump winning. Not only is he starting the race, taking a lap in the “Beast”, he’s doing a flyby in AF1 at 800’.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Dog-eat-dog world

    A riveting piece of cinema has captured the world’s attention, sparking endless debate about the perils of life under capitalism. No, not Parasite, but a 30-second video of an altercation on an airplane posted to Twitter. Like the Oscar-winning film, it reminds us how the baked-in incentives of greed and competition pit us needlessly against one another, robbing us of our humanity in turn.

    ——-

    While there’s more than enough interpersonal blame to go around, the true villains here are the airlines themselves, who have long conspired to maximize every last inch of space to reap profits at the expense of their customers in a process called “densification”.

    As with any predatory capitalist industry, a failure by governments to constrain exploitation plays a role in our suffering. In 2018, the Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) was asked to look into the “case of the incredible shrinking airline seat” on the grounds that the much smaller size of the seats posed a safety risk. They determined there was no evidence that the smaller seats made flying any more physically dangerous. They did not, however, address the psychological implications of sitting in a cramped seat.

    ——-

    Falling short of seizing and nationalizing the airlines, or dismantling capitalism as we know it, which are indeed worthy goals, it would behoove all of us, the straight-backed bathroom adjacent flier, and the luxuriating recliner, to keep in mind where the real ire belongs here.

    Capitalism pits us against each other, convincing us that it is our comrades in coach who are responsible for our own misfortunes – when that is almost never the case. It’s the powerful who conspire, like parasites, to suck us dry. And as long as we’re scrabbling over scraps with one another, it keeps them off of our radar. If we ever figured out how to work together in solidarity, think about how high we could fly.

    Workers of the world, UNITE!

    Those people would have all the room in the world, if they were shambling along behind a Conestoga wagon. If everybody doesn’t get their own luxury flying cabin with concierge service, free champagne and gourmet dining, kkkapitalism has failed us.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Capitalism pits us against each other, convincing us that it is our comrades in coach who are responsible for our own misfortunes – when that is almost never the case. It’s the powerful who conspire, like parasites, to suck us dry.

      If they can’t even get this right, how are they expected to run an economy?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I can’t imagine watching Parasite and coming out thinking the poor family were the good guys.

    • westernsloper

      Capitalism pits us against each other, convincing us that it is our comrades in coach who are responsible for our own misfortunes – when that is almost never the case

      Except those people with screaming babies.

    • Rhywun

      Good lord. The Bee could run selected paragraphs and they wouldn’t even have to change a word.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Capitalism – fight over reclining seats. Socialism – fight over the last roll of toilet paper. Totally the same.

    • Aus

      I hate this aspect of social media; the viral videos of retarded kind. I don’t care to see the same stupid video with everyone and their goddamn brother adding their own super intelligent and original commentary.

      I don’t care some dude was punching a seat on a plane. I don’t care if the dress is gold/yellow or blue/white. I don’t care if it’s laurel or yanni. I typically just log off the social media for a couple of days everytime one of these shit videos is making the rounds.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I miss the good old days when life was simple and there was always a STEVE SMITH sighting at the movies or some Israeli bending spoons with his brain.

    • westernsloper

      lol

    • Ted S.

      Eh, it’s not that serious.

    • MikeS

      That looks photo-shopped to me.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The correct term is “fake and gay”.

      • MikeS

        That cat’s a fag and it’s shit is all fucked up.

      • MikeS

        Shit. Ted signal lit.

      • Ted S.

        You do this shit just to piss me off, don’t you?

      • MikeS

        No, I swear it’s all been accidental…I’m having a bad week.

        Pissing you off is just a pleasant side-effect.

      • Ted S.

        And you all have the audacity to bitch about my music links.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I was packing for a trip and suddenly a candle in my Ted shrine blew out. As the smoke came to me, I wondered: who did IT.

        Horoscope: I predict a wave of Glib evil: they won’t let me set up my candles in hotels. I land home Wednesday, so, assuming adequate supply of candles, everyone can safely come out on Thursday.

      • MikeS

        And you all have the audacity common sense and good taste to bitch about my music links.

        FIFY

      • Mojeaux

        And you all have the audacity to bitch about my music links.

        EXCUSE YOU!!!

        I like your music links and have gone out of my way to praise you for them. I even told you I loved you once.

      • Jarflax

        Yeah, but you like Bubbly

      • westernsloper

        Hater

    • commodious spittoon

      A coworker showed me that, then introduced me to coyote armor. He knows folks in Colorado who use it to prevent hawks from carrying off their toy poodles.

      • R C Dean

        Clever. I’ve had coyotes size up the Dean Beasts, but they don’t want to dance with pits. The only thing I worry about are mountain lions. Oh, and rattlesnakes. And Gila Monsters.

        I know a couple people who have lost dogs to coyotes or owls.

      • SandMan

        Clever, turn smoofy into a porcupine.

      • dbleagle

        A puma will still bite the skull and then disembowel Fluffy.

        When I was a AZ State Park Ranger one of my duties while taking students on nature walks was to open scat so students could see what the coyotes, owls, bobcats and pumas were eating. When dog and cats claws and bones were found it really impressed the students. One mother was a champ when she declared “That hadda hurt” at a coyote scat that was all apricot pits.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    he’s doing a flyby in AF1 at 800’.

    What am I bet that we’ll see a photo of that AF1 flyby with a motor home flying the confederate battle flag in the foreground?

    • MikeS

      I’m sure photogs are scrambling and contorting in order to get a shot like that. Like they did with Ashcroft and the nude Spirit of Justice statue.

    • Ted S.

      Yes we do, SF.

      • Ted S.

        (Of course, HM has edit powers and will edit the original to make my previous comment seem like a non sequitur.)

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Listen, I didn’t make the rules. I just exploit them.

    • Ted S.

      The trolling is coming from inside the house!

    • Fatty Bolger

      Not bad. I would have laughed.

    • westernsloper

      Decent troll.

  10. Tulip

    Well, I survived the death march this morning.
    Be careful meeting people from the internet

    • Old Man With Candy

      The Euro was the only one who had to stop and relieve himself.

      Stove is on. We’re about to nullify the benefits of this morning’s hike.

      • westernsloper

        I am making a variation of this today. I am lacking ingredients as we are lacking in Asian markets around these parts and I did not plan ahead to engage in some amazoning but I am adding green chilis so it will be Southwestern Fusion Malaysian Laksa.

      • MikeS

        Throw that in the garbage right now you cultural appropriator!

      • westernsloper

        ?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I just played nine holes, now lunch, That 70 degree heat is brutal…….

    • egould310

      Where’d you go?

      The wife and I will do about a 6 mile urban hike today. Gonna trek out to Whole Foods for fresh ramen noodles, miso paste, mushrooms, scallions, etc for a ramen dinner tonight.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Today, out of sympathy for Tulip, we did an easy trail around San Tan Regional Park. Yesterday before she got here, we climbed up to Wind Cave.

      • egould310

        Climbed up to Wind Cave? So… you guys tag-teamed Winston’s Mom?

      • Old Man With Candy

        It was worth it.

    • dbleagle

      Don’t let them talk you into taking a canoe trip in the canals. They don’t go to the ocean*

      *Hard lesson learned by German POW’s escaping from the PW Camp at Papago Park.

  11. hayeksplosives

    As an Aries, I’m thinking my best bet is to stay in bed all day.

    “ Aries: 4 of Swords reversed – Vigilance, retreat, solitude, hermit’s repose, exile, tomb”

    • hayeksplosives

      Maybe all week.

    • Chafed

      I thought you were trying a new church today?

    • Old Man With Candy

      We dosed ourselves with Nigl last night. You’d have liked it, good wine and 5 courses.

      • Spudalicious

        Oof. Pot roast tonight and ’05 Gaillard “Cote Rozier”.

  12. R C Dean

    Concealment, disguise, policy, fear, unreasoned caution

    Another one of those weeks.

    I’m curious about what is meant by “policy” in this context.

    • Spudalicious

      Sounds to me like you’re going to have a run in with the FBI.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      move from IWB to shoulder holster for the week ?

    • westernsloper

      Concealment, disguise, policy,

      Assuming your hospital is woke and has the correct policy, I think it means you should go to work in drag.

      • Ted S.

        Until they try to treat his bruised hymen.

  13. mikey

    “I’m sure photogs are scrambling and contorting in order to get a shot like that. Like they did with Ashcroft and the nude Spirit of Justice statue.”

    One of my PoliSci profs took the class a a tour to Sacamento to “see Democracy in action” . She was in with Big Daddy Daddy Jess Unruh, the notorious Speaker of the House so we got to stand in the back for a Reagan press conference and after the press confercence we got an audience with Ronny. It was a standard conference room – long table with Reagan an the head and us all around. We were a commuter college and most everyone was a normie working their way through school. There was one hippie in the group. We had to work at not breaking into laughter as the two photogs went through the contortions of getting Reagan and the hippie in the same picture. The hippie was actually pretty reactionary – he just engoyed pissing people off.

    Best Big Daddy Unruh quote: “If you can’t take their money, drink their booze and screw their women and then vote against them the next day you don’t deserve to be in politics.”

  14. Q Continuum

    “Good news for gynophiles as both Venus in Aries and the Moon in Scorpio will make the object of your intentions more receptive”

    Oh yeah.

    • Jarflax

      But if Venus just got rammed and stung on the ass I’d expect some hostility.

    • commodious spittoon

      make the object of your intentions more receptive

      My cheese sandwich is receptive?

      • Lackadaisical

        All hot and gooey, waiting for your mouth.

  15. JD is Unemployed

    Is it me or are this week’s horoscopes more deathy than usual?

    • Aus

      Being a cancer, my horoscope is already deathy 🙂

    • RAHeinlein

      Speak for yourself:

      Aquarius: Queen of Coins** – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty

      • westernsloper

        Aaaah, so we found our Aquarius.

      • Spudalicious

        Get her!

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I wish to identify as an Aquarius this week.

      • Mojeaux

        You don’t wish. You just declare that you are and abracadabra, you’re an Aquarius.

  16. Aus

    Stock market:

    I think the market is irrationally bearish on the oil sector. The beer virus news is going to kick that sector hard when it’s already down, but long term I don’t see oil industry going away any time soon. I could see oil dropping to ~$45/barrel or maybe a little lower as the supply side disruption drags on.

    I may buy some put options on the oil sector. But I will also look for buying some long positions as it continues to drop. Fun with stonks!

    • Don Escaped ORD

      I don’t think you’re entirely wrong.

      That said, the price has lived in the $50 (2020 dollar) zone since the first crisis. The question isn’t what the price should be, but how volatile will the speculators be; since two sigma of that volatility is baked into the price of your option, it’s gonna be tough. But I don’t object to a man taking a reasonable run with money he’s willing to lose.

    • AlmightyJB

      Market is a little on the expensive side in general but still the best deal relative to interest rate driven vehicles so that’s where the money will continue to flow for now.

  17. R C Dean

    Seen a few articles about Ivanka in Dubai at some women’s empowerment boondoggle.

    I like that she isn’t kowtowing to the reactionaries by wearing a scarf.

    • westernsloper

      Dubai is a safe place to go Hijab free as far as that part of the world is concerned.

      • Lackadaisical

        Was about to say this. We just got back from there, no problems, although my wife did wear a hijab for a little while (which I found hilarious, but not nearly as erotic as I thought it would be) to visit the Masjd Mosque.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, pretty sure they aren’t letting a woman in a mosque without one. First few times I went there it was cool, then it wore off and the place was just an annoyance. Other than you could still find bars in the airport to smoke in.

    • westernsloper

      Cool. Will try to remember to stand in the yard on Tues when I get up.

  18. westernsloper

    Just saw my first Bloomberg ad. Before the Daytona 500. Oh boy.

    • commodious spittoon

      I have to admit, a President Bloomberg would be nice. No longer having to deal with Trump’s bullshit. And the beginning of the end.

    • Spudalicious

      I saw Trump’s too. A lap around Daytona in the Beast.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    No longer having to deal with Trump’s bullshit.

    When Mike! hits the ground running with pen and phone clutched in his stubby little fingers, Trump’s America will seem like the good old days.