IFLA: The “Tutorial Time” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of February 9

by | Feb 9, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 262 comments

We have an interesting construction this week:  Venus-Mercury-Jupiter with Mars-Sol connecting through Mercury.  These planets are making a lambda, which we all know is the symbol for wavelength and the cosmological constant, as well as the sign of being a nerd.

So, what are we to make of this?  Well the first issue is the decide what the major arm is in the construction.  Obviously, you’d want to give preference to the longest arm, or the one with the most points of interconnection.  In this case they’re the same length.  Well, let’s read it as many ways as makes sense, and see what we get.

Interpretation 1:  Love/sex/fertility/femininity/peace – Change/Luck/News – Happiness/Benevolence/Order/Rule modified by War/Conflict/Masculinity – Growth/Expansion/Power with the causality linking through the “change” node.

1a.  A new war leads to increased prosperity for arms dealers.  Plausible.

1b.  A woman finds a particularly good bit of Big Dick porn.  Less likely.  Astrology usually concerns itself with world events, though perhaps this could have heralded the death of Catherine the Great.

1c.  Military success puts down a rebellion.  Yeah, that’s more in the star’s wheelhouse.

1d.  A great battle brings peace.  Really just a modification of 1c, de-emphasizing Jupiter.  This also had the advantage of covering more bases allowing a more direct claim of success later on.

1e.   A leader gets his dick shot off.  Plausible.  Though a more literal interpretation would allow for the emasculation via any sort of weapon.  Though, what with popular trends probably a better reading would be “famous male celebrity comes out as trans.”

Interpretation 2:  War/Conflict/Masculinity – Growth/Expansion/Power – Change/Luck/News, with the source of Mercury being both Love/sex/fertility/femininity/peace and Happiness/Benevolence/Order/Rule

2a.  A leader starts a fight over a woman?  That never happens.  Too cliched.

2b.  A queen gives birth to a son.  Much better, with the main issue with this interpretation being that I have no idea if there are any royals pregnant.  Beyonce isn’t due to give birth, is she?

So now that you’ve got a few basic ideas as to what the sky is trying to tell you, take a look at where the planets are in the sky as well as their arrangement.  Very unusually, only the sun is in Aquarius.  This indicates that the rest of the reading is going to be atypical.  Mercury is in Pisces, which doubles down on the change/instability aspects of the planet, reducing interpretations of “news.”  Luck is still on the table.  Moving along, Venus is in Aries.  “Goat” seems to be less “peace” and more “sex,” so focus on those readings.  The moon is in Leo, which is a universal symbol for “play,” but the moon isn’t involved here.  Just thought you’d like to know. Mars is in Sagittarius, so the warlike aspect of Mars is less inclined to mass slaughter and more about tactics.  This has the additional effect of emphasizing the Mars-as-masculine symbology.  Reading 2b is getting less and less likely.  As has been for a while , Jupiter (and Saturn, but that’s not important here) is in Capricorn.  Capricorn is an interesting sign, most notably known for those born under it being whiny about things not going their way, but different cultures have represented that in different ways.  However, crocodile representation is less favored over the Sea Goat, since we already have a goaty influence flowing into the construction through Venus.  So that means we should re-interpret Jupiter’s happiness and rulership as hedonism and salty old guy.  With that last insight, we cna see how 1b and 1d really don’t make sense anymore.

Aquarius:  5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy

Pisces:  The Blank Card – Insert your own predictions here.

Aries:  9 of Cups reversed – Truth, loyalty, liberty, mistakes, imperfections

Taurus:  The Lovers – Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome

Gemini:  9 of Swords – Death, failure, miscarriage, delay, deception, disappointment, despair

Cancer:  Ace of Coins reversed – The evil side of wealth, bad intelligence, also great riches, comfortable material conditions — but not to your benefit.

Leo:  4 of Swords – Vigilance, retreat, solitude, hermit’s repose, exile

Virgo: 2 of Cups – Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy

Libra:  10 of Wands –  Oppression, fortune, gain, any kind of success except in a lawsuit in which case there will be failure, false-seeming, disguise, perfidy.

Scorpio:  The Empress reversed – Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation

Sagittarius:  The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption

Capricorn:  3 of Wands – established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

262 Comments

  1. #5

    “Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy”
    RIIIGHT, and then drugs fell out of my ass………….

  2. Rebel Scum

    Disorder, chaos, ruin

    Sounds fun.

  3. Mojeaux

    Taurus: The Lovers – Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome

    From your fingertips to God’s ears.

  4. hayeksplosives

    If day Nancy Pelosi got her dick shot off, rendering her impotent, so yeah.

    • hayeksplosives

      I’d say

      Wtf did it autocorrect to If Day???

      • Mojeaux

        These are the perils of autocorrect.

        Like, does it give you a chance to correct the autocorrect, or does it change it after you hit send?

      • #5

        it’s all in the settings,
        just turn it off………….

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t have it on. That’s why I asked what it does.

      • C. Anacreon

        I wish there was a way to turn spellcheck off but retain the function that changes lower case letter (i) into upper case (I) so I didn’t have to change the case each time I’m using the first person singular pronoun. Anyone know of a way to do that?

      • Nephilium

        If you’re paying attention, you can see that it changed. But if you’re just swiping along, you can get some really entertaining “corrections”.

      • Trigger Hippie

        That’s the excuse I always go with. It’s never me just being sloppy, lazy, and ill-lettered. No Siree Bob.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Because goto is considered harmful.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Do you have a predictive text option? Is what I use to try to keep up with you all.

    • AlmightyJB

      Lol

    • westernsloper

      Holy cow those are beauties. Yesterday I grilled some Brauts while wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Today it is trying to snow.

    • AlmightyJB

      Is that a DAO? How’s the trigger?

      • AlmightyJB

        Interesting, I’ve not seen a decocker like that before. Dammit Sean, now I have another toy to add to my list! Thinking .40 though.

      • Sean

        ?

    • DEG

      Yum.

  5. AlmightyJB

    “Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy”

    So friends with benefits situation presents itself. Nice.

    • #5

      then the drugs fell out of Your Ass…….

      • AlmightyJB

        True story, I’ve actually had drugs in my ass before. Back in the day.

      • Nephilium

        So… like that scene in Transpotting, right?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Me too! Fuck the TSA, I manged to fly despite them.

  6. westernsloper

    Gemini: 9 of Swords – Death, failure, miscarriage, delay, deception, disappointment, despair

    WTF? I demand a recount redraw.

    • Tulip

      So, the plan for the week is to stay in bed with the cover pulled over my head. Let me know when it’s safe to go out

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        #metoo

        Geminis get the shaft a lot in horoscopes, far as I can tell . . .

  7. Ted S.

    Gemini: 9 of Swords – Death, failure, miscarriage, delay, deception, disappointment, despair

    The one thing I know is that it won’t be miscarriage.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    A leader gets his dick shot off. Plausible.

    Considering the quality of the world’s “leadership” that will be a self-inflicted wound, more likely than not.

  9. AlmightyJB

    Leftover breakfast bonanza. Fried up leftover onion, baked potatoes, pork chop, ham, bacon with some smoked paprika, garlic powder, s&p. Added some garlic & herb cheese and slice of American cheese. Topped with two over easy eggs and smothered in leftover gravy. Yummy. Have some nice thick pork chops in a brine for dinner.

    • C. Anacreon

      Top that brine pork with some brine shrimp!

  10. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: The Empress reversed – Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation

    So it just can’t be all good news, is that it? It was looking great, then just had to pee on my Cheerios at the end.

    In other news, just returned from our weekend getaway, and New Cat has me on couch arrest.

    • hayeksplosives

      Oooooh!!!

      New cat!

      Tell us all about!

      • Gender Traitor

        Posted previously, but similar to his current state. Looks like a smaller version of Dearly Departed Previous Cat. However, while DDPC was Daddy’s Widdle Man, New Cat has latched onto me like stink on shit. I’ve created a monster.

      • DEG

        Aaahhhh

      • C. Anacreon

        You’ve created a monster, ’cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more?

      • Spudalicious

        It’s a cat…

      • #5

        Cat, Monster, same thing…..

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption

    Sounds legit.

    Come to think of it, there is somebody I might be inclined to corrupt in a roguish manner. I’ve been much too circumspect about it.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    shown with protection.

    Is that a High Point?

    *runs, hides*

    • Sean

      No Yeet Cannons here.

    • hayeksplosives

      Nah, mine was new.

      And once again, story is overblown by short sellers who’ve lost BILLIONS betting against Tesla.

      Meanwhile, my stock has tripled in value.

    • C. Anacreon

      Look out. Elon may be coming after you.

      Elon’s comin’, hide your heart, girl

  13. Rebel Scum

    The lady has some kind of cold so I put an Airbourne tablet in my beer. (*insert coronavirus joke*) No, I am not ashamed. Anyway, NY strips for lunch? The correct answer is ‘yes’.

  14. dbleagle

    ” mistakes, imperfections” departing this week for a biz trip to DC. Yep, it checks out.

    I am dreading this trip. I was sailing and swimming out at a sandbar yesterday. Today harvested some tomatoes. Then on Thursday freezing weather in Nancy’s vile nest.

    I am up to meeting any Glibs around.

    • Rebel Scum

      departing this week for a biz trip to DC.

      You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

      • Jarflax

        Brussels and Beijing would like a word

  15. Derpetologist

    This was too good to pass up:

    https://www.npr.org/2020/02/09/803809670/why-labeling-antonio-banderas-a-person-of-color-triggers-such-a-backlash

    ***
    Banderas then recalled filling out an official form in the U.S.: When he went to check the box for “white” under race, he was told that was wrong, that he was Hispanic.

    “I said, ‘Hispanic isn’t actually a race,’ ” Banderas told Ramos, but he went ahead and checked the Hispanic box. “Great, I’m happy to be Hispanic, Spanish, Latino, and if I’m a person of color, well then I’m a person of color.”

    The idea that Banderas is a white European may be obvious to many, especially those in the Latinx community, but it’s not the first time a white Spaniard has been referred to in the U.S. as a “person of color” or Latinx.
    ***

    This is a good example of why race should not be a category on forms, but good luck trying to get the NPR knuckleheads to understand.

    • CPRM

      Race is a descriptor, not an identity. Like how to distinguish the difference between Kieth David and David Kieth.

      • Rebel Scum

        I’ve never been able to distinguish the Hutu from the Tutsi.

      • CPRM

        If you call them the wrong one you’ll get the answer very quickly.

      • Jarflax

        Holding a machete = Hutu
        Dripping from one = Tutsi

      • Tres Cool

        Man, them Hottentots are a surly bunch.

      • Rebel Scum

        I also have trouble with Asians. But Koreans are cool.

      • Rebel Scum

        I came across this while looking for that. And it is just awful . . . and hilarious . . .Rucka was pushing the limit with this one.

      • DEG

        That is pretty cool.

        This is also pretty….

      • Rebel Scum

        I’d finish her with a bang…but she’s gotta brush her teeth first.

    • Rhywun

      As Banderas notes, in the U.S., Spaniards are considered Hispanic.

      lolno

      • C. Anacreon

        Yes, the amazing thing (or at least was the case when I last knew someone applying), is that a person from Spain gets to check ‘Hispanic’ and gets the affirmative action benefits of this. Had a colleague in our residency class after med school who was quite forthcoming about this. However, if you hail from a different part of the Iberian peninsula, and you are instead from Portugal, sorry, you are just a white person, pal.

        Similarly, a woman I dated in the 90s was blonde haired and blue-eyed with alabaster skin; she couldn’t have looked more northern European. Her parents, both Austrian descent, lived in Argentina. She diligently followed the rules on the law school application form and even checked with the admissions office, who said, yes, absolutely, she qualified as Hispanic — and soon afterwards was accepted in to her target law school.

      • Viking1865

        Yep, a high school classmate of mine was able to check African-American on his college applications. Both his parents were liberal (in the good sense of the word i.e. anti apartheid and also anti-Communist) activists from South Africa. They had emigrated in the mid 80s. Dude was white as white could be, like “descended from English missionaries” white.

        Standard Libertarian Disclaimer applies on affirmative action, but if we are to have it at all, it should be based on familial wealth. Theres absolutely no way in hell Malia Obama or one of Kobe Bryants other daughters should have a tiebreaker in college admissions over a white kid from a less wealth family.

    • Mojeaux

      Pretty sure he connects with the Latino community here and gets cast in Latino roles: His accent.

      Aside: I love Pedro Almodovar’s films.

      • RAHeinlein

        Poll question – Antonio Banderas or Andy Garcia?

      • #5

        Banderas is waaay cooler than Garcia

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m more of a sucker for Brits.

      • AlmightyJB

        Danny Trejo

      • #5

        “Buttercup!”

      • Mojeaux

        Who’s Andy Garcia? /s

        He is a puny, insignificant ant compared to the demigod that is Antonio Banderas.

        THAT SAID

        If we are speaking of Spanish deity, god status would go to José Tomás.

      • egould310

        Almodovar, yes!

      • Mojeaux

        Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down!

        Takes me back to when I was practically living at the art house cinema.

        I saw Strictly Ballroom when it was still in limited distribution. Made my parents go and said, “Okay, just get through the first 10 minutes and it’ll make sense.” They loved it.

    • mikey

      I remember an afternoon commute listening to a Boston sports radio talk show and the subject of “why don’t blacks play baseball anymore” came up. Someone says “what about [a bunch of hispanic/latin players]. Boy howdy the feathers started to fly. “Who you callin’ black?” “Who you callin’ Hispanic? (when a Cuban player is mentioned). It was a real education on how “Hispanics” viewed themselves – certainly not as a monolithic bloc – “Who you callin’ a Mexican?!”

    • Q Continuum

      “Latinx”

      …a word no Hispanic person has ever used to describe himself.

    • R C Dean

      Why would the transvestite Central/South American “community” care how Antonio Banderas identifies?

      • Derpetologist

        It is often, I mean.

        Sometimes it’s even a challenge to remember to put the proper number of verbs in a sentence!

  16. The Late P Brooks

    The idea that Banderas is a white European may be obvious to many, especially those in the Latinx community, but it’s not the first time a white Spaniard has been referred to in the U.S. as a “person of color” or Latinx.

    My experience is not vast, on this topic, but I’d advise you to keep your left up if you’re going to go around accusing Spaniards of being Mexicans.

    • RAHeinlein

      I believe Banderas was called Mexican at the Oscars some years ago.

    • hayeksplosives

      It funny and sad how many people think the Alamo was between America and Mexico, when really it was Us born ‘mericans and Germans turned Texas Republic folk allied with ethnic and cultural Mexicans fighting the European Spaniards.

      Is that just too much to ask regarding one of the most famed battles of history??!!!??

      • westernsloper

        Sssshhhh, nobody wants to talk about that. History has been written and that is now fact.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      he Latinx community

      How do you know that someone is not speaking for the larger Hispanic community? They use “Latinx”.

      https://medium.com/@ThinkNowTweets/progressive-latino-pollster-trust-me-latinos-do-not-identify-with-latinx-63229adebcea

      What is clear from our research is that the appeal of “Latinx” is extremely limited. In fact, it did not register above 3% as a preferred term among any geographic, income, education, or age subgroup we tested. Paradoxically, ad agencies and political campaigns that believe they are being trendy by using the term may be alienating or confusing the voters and consumers with whom they are attempting to build meaningful connections.

      They obviously didn’t separately poll white twenty-something female NPR reporters. (pun intended)

  17. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Stefan Molyneux (I know, I know) interviews an interesting sleazeball (a guy who runs a webcam model business out of Romania):

    https://youtu.be/DDUOJpk7FWQ

    It’s something that us right side of the IQ bell curve Glibs have always known but stay away from web cam sites, they’re for chumps.

    • CPRM

      Nice to finally know what Pie looks like.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He looks like Mac Macdonald, I kept expecting Charlie and Frank to show up.

      • CPRM

        Chomping on a huge cigar, where is the monocle!?

      • Rhywun

        That guy looks exactly like what I expected “a guy who runs a webcam model business out of Romania” to look like.

      • Tres Cool

        Needs more bvlgari

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The guy is such a caricature. I’m actually amused.

    • westernsloper

      Pretty sure HM’s advice to all couples is to start a chaturbate site.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Capricorn:  3 of Wands – established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery

    Like that rotten banana I discovered under my kid’s bed?

    • Don Escaped Texas

      a positive Capricorn outlook and it’s only the seventh week of the year!?!?

  19. westernsloper

    Finally ran across the video Athena mentioned yesterday. Ya, that is pretty sick.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s just humor, not my kind of humor but that’s all it is.

    • westernsloper

      I read the re’s far enough to see someone claim she did it as a joke. No idea and don’t care enough about her to find out.

    • westernsloper

      Sockeye Brewing always turns me off because the name makes me think of canned salmon.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Now I want some fish and chips from Kilted Kod.

      • Spudalicious

        Love the Kilted Kod.

      • DEG

        I miss the Tilted Kilt. The local one closed. The closest is in Portland, ME.

      • Nephilium

        The one here in Cleveland closed long enough back, that the place that moved into it has also closed.

        I miss the creole/cajun place that was there back in the day.

      • DEG

        The one in Allentown, PA that I’d stop at on my way back to New England after visiting family in PA also closed. I actually liked that one better than the one that was local to me.

        The local one turned into some southern themed restaurant that I’ve never been in since the conversion. Supposedly some of the staff stuck around.

      • Spudalicious

        We eat a lot of sockeye.

      • westernsloper

        You obviously have never had my mothers salmon patties. Love my mum but damn they were bad. I am scarred for life.

      • Spudalicious

        Lol! They do salmon cakes that are excellent.

    • Rebel Scum

      We truly live in the best timeline.

      i find it all quite entertaining, myself. And as far as the alphabet people should be concerned, Trump is your friend despite what you hear/see on CNN.

    • Q Continuum

      That’s Albuquerque.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Meet Lady Maga, a gay drag queen Trump supporter

    Excommunicate! Excommunicate!

  21. Spudalicious

    The sun, it burns…

    • #5

      Spud, I’ll mail you tomorrow when I have details,
      And , yes, you can get a sunburn in the Winter, as for me, I’m Blown away……From the north at 30

      • Gender Traitor

        Yup. Once got a sunburn at an afternoon football game in Ohio in October.

      • Spudalicious

        I’ve gotten a sunburn sitting in a duck blind. My comment has to do with the fact this is the first sunny day in over a week.

      • #5

        Where?

      • Spudalicious

        Southwest Idaho.

      • #5

        I see, well at least enjoy the free vitamin D….

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe he gets it

    Yang—who ultimately had the least speaking time during the debate according to CNN—took issue with the statement and fired back to say Trump’s victory was misunderstood.

    “Trump is not the cause of all of our problems and we are making a mistake when we act like he is,” Yang said. “He is a symptom of a disease that has been building up in our communities for years and decades. It’s our job to get to the harder work of actually curing the disease.

    ——-

    “We have automated away four million manufacturing jobs and counting, we are closing 30 percent of New Hampshire stores and malls and Amazon, the force behind that, is literally paying zero taxes. These are the changes that Americans are seeing and feeling around us every day.”

    He added: “If we get to the hard work of curing those problems we will not just defeat Donald Trump in the fall but we will actually be able to move our communities forward.”

    ——-

    Yang has proposed a form of universal basic income (UBI) dubbed the Freedom Dividend as a way to combat job losses from automation, and has said huge tech giants like Google, Facebook, and Amazon should have to pay U.S. citizens for use of their personal data.

    Maybe not.

    • #5

      “Amazon, the force behind that, is literally paying zero taxes.”
      BULLSHIT!!!!!!

    • AlmightyJB

      Even with his UBI proposal (which wouldn’t pass), he still seems like the least dangerous of the bunch.

    • Mojeaux

      Google, Facebook, and Amazon should have to pay U.S. citizens for use of their personal data.

      This is an intriguing idea. I’m going to give this some thought.

      • Ted S.

        The government should have to pay us, too.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s not in the contract you signed at birth.

      • AlmightyJB

        They’re paying them with their service.

      • The Hyperbole

        What exactly is your ‘personal data’? Seems a bit like ‘your reputation’ in that it’s called ‘yours’ but it’s not really something you possess or controll.

    • Rhywun

      Because putting Amazon out of business and pissing away that one-time dividend on pubsec workers is going to bring back all the mom ‘n’ pops.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yang is a fucking idiot that’s coasted most of his life and thinks he’s a genius. He’s a perfect example of the technocrat Top.Men.

      • RAHeinlein

        Exactly, he always sounds like he took a philosophy class that had a Powerpoint slide of post-industrial theory and he decided that would make a great platform and get him invited to champagne socialist parties. He clearly has no concept of how the economy actually works.

    • AlmightyJB

      Interesting strategy.

      • Rebel Scum

        Police found a 3 1/2-inch knife in a sheath on his left hip, and Hedgpeth also had an empty pistol holster on his right hip, authorities said.

        Interesting, indeed.

      • #5

        and I’m gonna kills some one with my Pocket knife?
        ‘Cause that’s all that 3.5 inches is….

      • The Hyperbole

        Worked for Johnny Cade.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      In a nation of over 300 million there’s always going to be plenty of crazies.

      • AlmightyJB

        + Florida Man.

  23. DEG

    A woman finds a particularly good bit of Big Dick porn. Less likely. Astrology usually concerns itself with world events, though perhaps this could have heralded the death of Catherine the Great.

    That’s not how Catherine the Great died.

    Vigilance, retreat, solitude, hermit’s repose, exile

    Turning into a hermit might be a good idea. Wait, is there something wrong with me?

  24. The Late P Brooks

    My comment has to do with the fact this is the first sunny day in over a week.

    Brilliant sunshine, fresh snow, and temp in the teens, here. You could go snowblind out there.

  25. Ted S.

    I hope you’re happy, Rhywun. 😐

    • AlmightyJB

      I hope Rhywun is happy too.

    • Rhywun

      What did I do now?

      • Jarflax

        You and the apostrophe both know what you did!

      • Ted S.

        It was a reference to the sportsball results.

      • Rhywun

        Yeap, some good ones today.

  26. westernsloper

    The Vipers have lime green helmets. I’m rooting for them.

    • Tres Cool

      Im not hating this. Some xtra slutty cheerleaders (like the 2001 version) would work, too.

      • westernsloper

        Definitely needs slutty cheerleaders. Hell, everything is better with slutty cheerleaders. Chess tournaments need slutty cheerleaders.

      • DEG

        You need to specify female.

        “Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.”

      • Ted S.

        You’re a slutty cheerleader?

      • Rebel Scum

        If the price is right.

  27. commodious spittoon

    Oppression, fortune, gain, any kind of success except in a lawsuit in which case there will be failure, false-seeming, disguise, perfidy.

    I have very important lawsuits coming up this week!

    • commodious spittoon

      I hate that Williamson is posterboy #2 (next to Jonah, also undeservedly) for Cuck International Weekly. Like conservatives need even fewer partisans on their side.

      • #5

        I miss Buckley, he was badass….

  28. DEG

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    He said Trump’s lack of deference to the Constitution and his lack of respect for fiscal responsibility disqualified him as a true Republican. Weld predicted that the Republican Party would split in half if Trump is nominated, referring to him at times as a “wolverine” and a “boil.”

    • Rebel Scum

      his lack of respect for fiscal responsibility disqualified him as a true Republican.

      As if republicans have been anything but rhetoric on fiscal responsibility.

      • Viking1865

        Part of the problem is that, in theimperial capital, the people who are supposed to vote to cut government are firing their friends, their neighbors, their kids friends parents.

        Like, if you move to DC, raise your family there, socialize there, and you become part of the culture. It’s hard, as a human being, to sit down in the bleachers at a Little League game in Loudon County, and Timmy’s Mom is a bureaucrat at Dept of Education, and Johnny’s Dad is a Deputy Assistant Senior Undersecretary of Commerce, and on your trivia night at the bar every week your team goes head to head with ” Team Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”, who are all midlevel drones at the Department of Transportation.

        It’s kind of the old Bastiat seen and unseen. You can’t see the the thousands of Americans who are working an extra shift or are forgoing a vacation because they have to pay taxes to keep Timmy’s Mom, and Johnnys Dad, and all the guys at the bar in their cushy jobs, but you can see them.

    • Grumbletarian

      No, Bill, the fracture happened in 2016, when your ticket got a record number of votes and a guy named McMullin got upwards of a million by screaming “Never Trump” in the few states in which he made the ballot. This time around conservatives are going to vote for Trump to keep the Democrats and their 31 flavors of socialism away from the levers of power.

  29. Aus

    I don’t like the sound of that Ace of Coins reversed.

    Is the stock market going to crash!? SHOULD I SELL ALL MY STONKS?

  30. Rebel Scum

    Florida Team seems to suck.

    • westernsloper

      Ya, they could be better. BUT IT’S EARLY!!

  31. Rebel Scum

    Enough sanctimonious horseshit, Minnie Mike, you constitution-shredding wannabe tyrant.

    • pistoffnick

      “I will…put the United back in United States.”

      OK, Bloomer.

      Because nothing says unity like telling people what size soft drink they can have or what size gun magazine they can have.

      Fuck Off, Slaver!

  32. UnCivilServant

    Well, Not Adahn and I did Not shoot each other.

    For what that’s worth. We expended dozens of rounds of fire and no injuries were inflicted.

    • #5

      FAKE NEWS!!!!
      you guys went boating, didn’t you?

      • UnCivilServant

        The water was all frozen.

      • #5

        Excellent alibi….

      • Nephilium

        The lake here hasn’t frozen at all. So, warmer temps, lower winds, but more snow.

  33. Aus

    Steve Guest
    @SteveGuest

    Joe Biden to New Hampshire voter asking about why he lost in Iowa “you’re a lying dog-faced pony solider”

    https://twitter.com/SteveGuest/status/1226578797983682562?s=20

    What does that insult even mean? His campaign is like a history lesson of old timey english.

    • Rhywun

      Must be some of that dignity and composure they keep promising to bring back.

    • westernsloper

      “It was a little bit confusing in Iowa”……Joe, name one place in the past five years you have not been confused.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Funny how the media in lock step is immediately appending “jokingly” to his comments.

      • The Hyperbole

        Funny, because he was?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I watched the video of the interaction. Didn’t seem like he was joking when he said that. But even if he claims to be, that the media immediately frames it that way is telling.

      • The Hyperbole

        Sounded/looked like an attempt at levity that fell flat to me, and the room seems to take it that way, it didn’t appear tense like the “Look, Fat” time, but I’m only going by the video, maybe some people that were there will remark on it.

      • C. Anacreon

        If Trump had said it, not only would there have been 48 hours of outrage on CNN, but any news reports would say
        “he called her a lying dog-faced pony soldier without evidence

      • Ozymandias

        Very Doubtful.
        1 – He was talking to a woman; (Try to imagine the coverage if Trump called a woman dog-faced)
        2 – In the initial exchange, he thought she was a plant, so asked her if she’d ever been to one of these, to which she said yes, THEN he insulted her.

      • The Hyperbole

        See above- I’m just going by the video I saw, and Trump has called women dog faced and worse. No need to imagine that.

      • Ozymandias

        “Upon review, the evidence is inconclusive.” It might have been a joke. It’s tough to tell, but she didn’t react badly.
        It’s a terrible look, either way.

        But you always dodge the original point – it’s like you’re incapable of admitting that the media is biased. Why is that? I get you don’t like people whining about it, but you do know the media is inarguably biased in favor of Team Blue. We have the actual emails to prove it. To say nothing of how many media members are former Team Blue acolytes.

        That is not to say there isn’t the same by Team Red, it’s that Team Red only has ONE source that supports them, while the DNC controls the vast majority of air time. And notwithstanding what we all think, TV is still FAR and away the most important media in this country. While that is changing – and may be somewhat demographically driven, there is no question that TV is still king.

      • The Hyperbole

        I don’t deny that liberal media is liberal, I just don’t care. People get the news they want, no one is forced to watch state mandated news programing, the complaint that ‘the media’ is biased and this is some big problem falls flat to me. As I’ve said before it’s complaining that Bud Light sucks, sure it does but the reason it sucks is because a large number of people like it that way. It’s the people not the media that you are really complaining about.

      • Ozymandias

        And didn’t I just read something from you in a thread about how you hate how people reply with “But Trump!!” The original comment had nothing to do with Trump – it was about Media bias. And it’s a useful comparison to illuminate the bias by comparing how Trump’s comments are treated comparatively: and yet here you are arguing that “BUT TRUMP SAYS SO MUCH WORSE ABOUT WOMYNZ” when the point is a complete deflection to avoid addressing what we all know to be true: if Trump had responded to a questioner like this, the media would have shit itself talking about how he’s a misogynist, demeaning the office, etc. Why isn’t it demeaning of the high office Biden held for him to respond to a legit question like that?

      • The Hyperbole

        You asked me to imagine Trump doing something. Kinda hard not to mention Trump in a response to that, but if that’s me pulling a “but Trump’ I’ll have to be more careful as I do try to not resort to ‘But Trump, But Obama, But Bush etc..etc..Thanks for calling me out on it.

      • The Hyperbole

        Just watched it again, and not to go all Zapruder film, but at first when she announces she going to ask a hard question or be challenging or something ( the audio isn’t really good at that part of the clip I saw) Joe takes off his coat like he’s prepping for a fight and everyone laughs, so there is a lighthearted atmosphere to start with, then when he makes his ‘insult’ his back is to us so we can’t see his face but the woman never stops smiling and even chuckles right after as if maybe Joe was smirking or winking or something, she definitely didn’t look like someone who was just maliciously insulted, and the people nearby are also smiling/laughing maybe a bit uncomfortably but that’s why I say it looks like a flat falling joke. Okay I guess I will Zapruder film it.

      • Ozymandias

        And by the way, the real point should be this: Joe Biden is either senile or suffering from dementia/Alzheimer’s. I’ve watched a few of his extended videos and the media is absolutely covering for him. I told my wife that his family should be ashamed for not pulling him aside and saying, “it’s over, Joe.”

        I do not believe he would survive an unbiased competency exam if his will was challenged and people didn’t know his name was “Joe Biden.” If he talks for longer than a sound bite, he goes off the fucking rails. And it’s not like I’m exaggerating – the guy has already had one stroke, but we’re all supposed to pretend this guy is fine. Nothing to see here.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It’s like there has been a contest to top the Howard Dean Scream since 2004.

        I’m getting really sick of this shit.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      What a bunch of malarkey.

    • KSuellington

      “…you’re a lying dog-faced pony solider.”

      The woman whom Biden directed this insult seemed to be nervously laughing at it, but then again, isn’t that a pretty expected thing to do when you get an incomprehensible insult/joke directed at you by a senile grandpa?

  34. Mojeaux

    XX got a job so we are at the Urgent Care so she can pee in a cup. Either she will take to it like a duck to water or she will crumble and decide she doesn’t want to work at Walmart for the rest of her life and set some life goals. And if she is sick as I suspect she might be, I might have sone real symptoms to take to a doc. It took a month for my first job to break me.

    Buuuut while we’re here, I decided to find out why I am being weird for the last 3 days. I suspect hyperglycemia, not anxiety.

    • #5

      Walmart is a good start, easy, boring, not too many hours, a good place to learn How to work,
      I wish her well, you too,

    • Aus

      It’s never to early to start an IRA!

      • Mojeaux

        THANK YOU for the reminder. I didn’t think of it and I will insist.

    • DEG

      I am hopeful for you folks.

      My first job with a paycheck didn’t break me, but it did in some ways set me straight. I could see a path in which I kept working there, but that wouldn’t be a very good path.

    • westernsloper

      Good on her!

    • Gender Traitor

      My advice to young persons: When you have more education, you can work for a better class of asshole.

    • Mojeaux

      XX pee-in-a-cup achieved. I hope she is successful at this. Ever since I asked her to cut me some slack because of her brother’s behavior she’s been a lot more settled and accommodating. Of course, I also took over kitchen duty because it was pretty much the only thing I could do to kind of make up for what I can’t give her.

      Also, I have a UTI and possibly diabetes. YAY!!!! Fulfilling my family destiny. Back to low carb for me.

      • DEG

        Sorry about your health problems. I also hope your daughter is successful at her endeavors.

      • DEG

        Hickok45 has a Deep Wood Thought (really from the desert) that might be apropos.

      • Spudalicious

        Thanks for sending me down that rabbit hole.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ugh! UTIs suck, and I sure hope the diabetes thing is wrong or at least of a type that can be controlled with diet & oral meds.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks. UTIs generally don’t make themselves known to me until I have a full-blown kidney infection, so this was a surprise.

        If I were low-carbing, the ketones wouldn’t bother me. But when I am NOT low carbing, wow.

        I was very roundly urged to get labs drawn like tomorrow. Meh. This is no catastrophe. Just part of getting old with family history. It’s manageable.

      • Tres Cool

        front —-> back

      • Mojeaux

        Gee, thanks. ?

      • Spudalicious

        Sorry to hear that, Mo. Hope you enjoyed your last Shirley Temple Poke cake for awhile. 😉

      • Mojeaux

        Yeah, that’s gone, sadly. The whole family is grieving, trust me.

  35. Nephilium

    That’s it, the environmentalists have gone too far now:

    Concerns over future of whisky’s special ingredient:

    Despite having a 700 acre peat bog, Mr Godsman says he is restricted to harvesting peat from just 300 acres because the remaining bog is protected as a nature reserve.

    • #5

      Private property? what’s that?

  36. The Late P Brooks

    “you’re a lying dog-faced pony solider”

    Shoulda called him a buffalo soldier.

    • Aus

      Very cool!

    • #5

      Downwind in the Jet stream…..
      Whatever……

  37. westernsloper

    I love the frozen coconut shrimps from your grocers frozen section. Not sure how they pack so many carbs on a shrimp, if you believe the data on the box, but worth it. Honestly I’m going to get serious about diet next week. Now I am pondering a nap.

    • #5

      Safety Nap!
      “Will Sleep for Food”

    • #5

      I don’t think he is too worried about a little extra CO2,
      Good for him,

    • #5

      They should just use Gas turbines, they already have Diesel backup, and GTs are super efficient nowadays

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Nothing better than riding on a floating bomb.

      • Tres Cool

        they told him it was “safety-gas”

  38. Rebel Scum

    I wanted Florida Team to do well but it looks like they moisturize their hands with olive oil.

  39. Not Adahn

    Shooting today was fun, if not exactly covering myself in glory. Of the four stages, UnCiv outshot me on two of them, but I had one pretty darn good one and he had a completely terrible one, so I wound up a couple places ahead of him in the final rankings.

    Little by little, we will form our secret army of Glib sharpshooters, so we can seize control of the government and leave everyone else alone.

    • DEG

      So what you’re saying is, is I should get my ass in gear and get to the range?

      #kindasortabutnotreallyacathynewmanquestion

      • Not Adahn

        That would go without saying. Especially on a day like today was.

        On Friday we had freezing rain followed by snow, followed by sub-freezing temperatures ever since, which meant every surface is flocked white. It looks like something out of a storybook out there. When the sun was out it was “it’s actually not bad” with temperatures dropping immediately into “fuckballs it’s cold” when a cloud went by. Too many people were skert of the weather, so we only had half the normal amount of shooters. Unfortunately for my ranking, it was the dedicated half.

      • DEG

        Friday and part of Saturday were a mess here thanks to the ice.

  40. CPRM

    Tampa Bay sucks no matter the league. I think it’s like a law of physics or some such.

      • Rhywun

        The new Rowdies are decent.

        And let’s not discuss the Lightning *spit*.

    • westernsloper

      It appears so but napping with football on is better than napping with bowling on.

  41. mikey

    “lying dog-faced pony solider”

    I’m giving Joe some credit here. Trash talk or real insult it’s pretty damn good.

    Yes, Joe is still a creepy shit that’s losing it, but I wish I could come up with something like that on the spur of the moment.

    • CPRM

      come up with something like that on the spur of the moment.

      nah, that’s what Corn Pop used to call gropey Joe.

      • C. Anacreon

        It’s like Billy the Kid spelled sideways, sort of.

  42. westernsloper

    I am glad I don’t live in China but also know the jack boots here would do the same if given the order.

    • Rebel Scum

      The average Chinese citizen subject is not armed.

      • westernsloper

        Good point.

    • mikey

      Yes they would.
      Some of the video from the search for the Boston Marathon bomber were pretty chilling. Tell me again which ones are the terrorists?

      The whole “Boston Strong” thing that followed was nausiating.

      • Gender Traitor

        Pardon the tangent, but I’m ready to declare a moratorium on the whole “[Locality] Strong” slogan. We got a bunch of that here in Dayton after our Memorial Day tornadoes and again after we had our very own mass shooting. A slogan to rally around is all well and good, but come up with something new, fer cryin’ out loud! /rant

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Man, that doesn’t look good. Poor people…

  43. westernsloper

    LOL….Watch these twinks swing a sledge hammer.

    • Spudalicious

      How embarrassing.

      • C. Anacreon

        It must be painful to swing a hammer when your tail is fully engorged and erect.

    • mikey

      “Moment arm”? What’s that?

    • Not Adahn

      Well, they’re PETAns, so probably vegan.

    • Sean

      Ooof. Sad!

    • AlmightyJB

      Viva la revolution

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’ll calm down once they’re neutered.

  44. AlmightyJB

    Fixing baked onions and oven fried pork chops (that have been in a brine all day) for dinner.

    • Spudalicious

      Sounds nice. Pizza dough is rising, I’ll be firing up the oven in about half an hour.

    • westernsloper

      Baked onions?

      • Sean

        Maybe he’s baked?

  45. CPRM

    Finally a touchdown in XFL game 4. Yesterday’s games were better, but it still actually looks like pro football, where as some of the other leagues haven’t.

    • Gender Traitor

      And St. Louis has a pro football team again!

      • CPRM

        and they’re playing in that stadium that Rams thought they were too good for.

      • C. Anacreon

        But Oakland doesn’t ?

    • Rebel Scum

      AAF has a sad.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That nonsense intruding on the hard sciences is concerning to say the least.

      • Jarflax

        Woke Physics and Math Now! Gravity keeps the oppressed down!

  46. CPRM

    the National Football League, which is prohibited under federal anti-trust exemption law (15 U.S.C. § 1291, i.e., the Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961) from broadcasting any professional game within seventy-five miles of any inter-collegiate or high school game on any Friday or Saturday, beginning with the second Friday in September and ending the second Saturday in December (15 U.S.C. § 1293)

    Oh, so that’s why NFL games are on Sundays, the government ladies and gentlemen. learned something new about the NFL by reading about a different football league.