“Ms. Warren, you’ve always fought for the little guy, what will you do as President to continue to advocate for the less fortunate,” asked a debate moderator who looked half like Chris Matthews and half like Tom Brokaw.
“Mmmmm, Tom Brokaw,” Lizzie thought, marinating on the idea of some not-quite-consensual sex with the man.
As she confidently gazed into the bright lights of the debate stage, the words of her response came together into a well-practiced monologue.
“Ever since I was a little girl growing up in the plains of Oklahoma, I’ve found that I loved the heart of the average working class American,” she suppressed a smirk as one of the cacophony of voices inside her head reminded her that she actually preferred the livers.
“I remember an old farmer who lived through the dust bowl. He lost an arm in an accident with a…”
“Boooooo-riiiiiiing,” a voice called out from an adjacent podium. Lizzie swiveled her head and locked eyes on the diminutive sodomite who had interrupted her speech.
“Pete! My time isn’t up! Look, I have two minutes left!” she stuck her hand out to the debate timer, returning her gaze to the impossible blinking zeroes that replaced the 2:15 she had seen just a blink earlier.
“Elizabeth, nobody buys your bullshit stories about some down home childhood. They could build a presidential candidate in a science lab that has more charisma than you!” Pete smirked with his arms crossed.
Lizzie’s body tensed in rage as a long-forgotten curtain of evil descended over her body. The demon was back.
With a bound that would’ve put a normal 71 year old woman in the hospital, she was on top of the preening poofter, hands pressing on his overpronounced adam’s apple. She clawed at his eyes and tore at his suit jacket, rending flesh and cloth in a blind frenzy. Finally, she exposed his impeccably hairless abdomen and bit down, hard, on his dad bod flab.
“Yeaaaaaaghhh!!” the discordant scream of Howard Dean escaped Buttegieg’s frothing mouth as a geyser of crimson showered the stage.
Lizzie pushed away the trivium floating through her head. Dean placed third in Iowa and then screamed his way to a humiliating defeat on super tuesday. She had placed third in Iowa and now she was eating the entrails of the leading candidate. Probably didn’t bode well for her chances.
She ignored the nagging feeling of dejavu and displacement as she hunted for that sweet, sweet liver. “Where the fuck is it?” she snarled while digging through the writhing ribcage of the presumptive Democratic frontrunner.
Then, as if struck by lightning, she jolted back. This wasn’t right. Nothing was right! Iowa debate stage? Iowa was almost three weeks ago!
Her conscious mind slammed into gear as her campaign bus clipped a pothole. She awoke in a marginally comfortable wingback chair in her sleeping quarters, a decorative pillow splayed and carelessly tossed aside. She rubbed her cheek in dismay, trying to make sense of this dream. It had been over 40 years since she last had a visit from the demon.
A noise from the front of the bus caught her attention as she walked to the washsink in the corner of her room. She picked a couple of down feathers off of her chin as she checked her makeup and poured herself a glass of water.
An aide opened the door after a perfunctory knock, carrying a stack of papers and an iPad. Warren suppressed an eyeroll as she took in the bilious figure of her assistant speechwriter, Jazz something-or-other. Portly, non-binary, and pastier than a kindergartner’s macaroni art, Jazz was a pure publicity stunt. The sagging prospects of victory after Iowa, New Hampshire, and Nevada left Lizzie no choice but to go all-in on the trannie bandwagon. Jazz sucked at its job, bitched incessantly, and nagged Lizzie so much that she had actually thrown a glass of scotch at it. People cheered.
“Ms. Warren, it’s time to prep for your Ohio speech.” Jazz squawked, jiggling like a poorly set gelatin dessert. “You’re not going to win this primary by sitting around daydreaming.”
Its raspy Roseanne voice made Lizzie want to jump out the window. Or throw Jazz out the window. Or eat Jazz. Probably bad eating, like city pigeons.
Lizzie steeled her face, trying to avoid giving away her feelings of surprise and fear. 40 years! It has been forty fucking years of the boring academic tedium, the personality training, the Beaver Cleaver life, the forgettable husband and the fake kids. Decades of work preparing for this exact moment. First with Charlie and the Scientist. Then, breaking away from them and striking out on her own. Semester after semester of grading essays and writing boring articles and saying and doing exactly what needed to be done to set up for this exact moment, and right when it was make or break, the demon resurfaces?
“Get. The fuck. Out!” Lizzie growled, picking up the water glass menacingly. Her eyes narrowed, cutting knives into Jazz’s soul. The rotund bluehair backed out of the room in haste, nearly backing into the door as it didn’t dare let its puppy dog eyes lose sight of Lizzie.
As the door closed, Lizzie threw the glass at the wall, reveling in the resulting panicked sounds.
She settled back into her wingback, a comforting thought washing over her like a warm tropical breeze. “The demon has always has an abundance of personality. Perhaps my likeability problem can be solved.”
“JAZZ! Get back in here Jazz!” Lizzie screamed, hardly opening her eyes.
“P-pp-p-please, ma’am, don’t hit me!” Jazz cowered cartoonishly, hunching over its iPad.
“I’m not going to hit you, you dolt,” Lizzie chuckled, “you’re way too important to kill… yet.” Lizzie’s smirk didn’t lighten Jazz’s mood.
“Schedule me an appearance at a biker bar. I have an announcement to make.”
“Um, a biker bar? Shouldn’t we schedule it at a high school or a library?” Jazz confusedly peeked at Lizzie.
“No, a biker bar. I’m going to announce that I’m a dyke!” Lizzie smiled a calculating grin, her iciness overwhelming her half-hearted attempt to act vulnerable.
“YOU CAN’T DO THAT! YOU CANT APPROPRIATE ELL GEE BEE TEE QUEUE EHH EYE PLUS PLUS CULTURE!!!” Jazz raged, bingo wings flapping like a turkey in heat.
“Oh puh-lease,” Lizzie drawled, somewhat decently approximating a catty basic bitch. “I’ve eaten more women than you could ever dream of.” With a dismissive flip of her hair, Lizzie signaled to Jazz that the conversation was over.
Still puffing from the exertion of the outburst/mating ritual, Jazz scowled, overemphatically pounding on the tablet as it made its exit.
As they pulled up to the ramshackle watering hole in rural Ohio, Lizzie put the finishing touches on her appearance. Despite having a closet bigger than any of her assistants’ living quarters, Lizzie didn’t have much attire other than pantsuits. Thankfully, a campaign t-shirt and a pair of undersized mom jeans were piled in the back.
“Break glass in case of likeability emergency,” her mind guffawed as she pulled the neatly folded clothes out of the recess.
Just one more quick rehearsal of a speech she didn’t intend to finish, and then showtime. After the disappointments of the early primaries, she was finally feeling good about her prospects. In this day and age of superficial wokeness could possibly avoid voting for the lesbian woman of color? Unworthy idiots. She scowled as she thought about the vapid stupidity of the average primary voter. All it takes is a couple of lies to get them. With a few minutes to spare before final rehearsal, she let herself slip back into her favorite daydream… the one where she’s pharaoh and her slaves are driven before her.
After an uneventful rehearsal, Lizzie confidently sipped a glass of water and scanned the crowd through the tinted windows of her mobile headquarters.
They’re all a bit WASPy for what we’re trying to do here, but I guess they’re all you can scare up on 3 hours’ notice, she fretted, eyes darting back and forth, looking for any sign of interesting people. Yesterday, she would’ve embraced this utterly boring crowd, but the demon wanted more. He wanted people with personality.
As she stepped down the stairs and prepared to execute the same series of steps that started every campaign appearance, she recoiled in horror. The spark of recognition coursed through her mind a split second before the gush of adrenaline forced her clambering back up the steps. It was them! After nearly 30 years, the figures of Charlie and the Scientist loomed in front of her. They exuded power even in their old age, and they had finally found her.
As the bus door slid open, Lizzie sputtered and gasped. Now that all of her old friends were in town, someone was sure to die.
Read the entire series here
~”With a bound that would’ve put a normal 71 year old woman in the hospital, she was on top of the preening poofter, hands pressing on his overpronounced adam’s apple.”
Did she borrow UCS’s strangling gloves, or did she go in bare handed?
UCS has stranglin’ gloves? Oh my!
Gloves for every occasion
. . . stranglin’ gloves? I totally approve.
Confirmed.
Portly, non-binary, and pastier than a kindergartner’s macaroni art, Jazz was a pure publicity stunt.
Hah!!! Nice work.
This series has been great. Reminds me of something I can’t quite place. A more literate, less coked-up Stephen King, before he turned into such a twerp.
So, what I’m hearing is that I need copious amounts of cocaine and then I should read Mo’s articles on how to publish, and then profit.
You didn’t already know that?
A lot of SK’s old short stories are really good. What happened to that guy?
1. Drugs
2. Lack of drugs
I’m actually betting on #2 (heh) due to the fact that he was so into them back in his earlier days.
I’ve always been highly suspicious of the “arting on drugs” thing. “Oh, that’s crazy/wonderful/inspired/etc., he must have been on drugs.”
I’ve been on drugs. It did not inspire me to create anything remotely interesting or inspiring.
I once wrote down all my ‘deep’ thoughts when I was stoned on a bet. I burned the paper the next morning. I remember one of them was something banal about us all being human. The rest were even less intelligent. The one claim I make to being special, is that I burned that crap. Too many people weren’t smart enough to do the same.
This is a fakakta story from my youth, but…one of my aunts had a step-son (I think he was a step-son–maybe step-nephew; not around very often), who claimed someone in his family was King’s drug dealer. This would have been very early 80’s, and could easily be teen-aged bullshit, but, then, there’s his admission of using, so, who knows.
Nice stuff, trashy. Nice stuff.
??
I love this series
Yeah. I almost wish IRL-Lizzie’s campaign had just a little more life left in it just so this series could continue. I really like the “Is it real or is it Memorex?” feel of the whole thing.
Just when I think I’m beginning to understand what’s happening, Charlie and the Scientist show up. Next week I’ll be as confused again as I am everyday.
Good show, TM, I’ll be ready or not ’cause I know you’re on your way
Her campaign is tanking so quickly that I’m having to imply some of the back story instead of covering it in the origin story episodes.
All will be revealed in the final episode. Hopefully we have one or two episodes between now and then.
This is great. I think I missed one or two, though. How many left? I’ll need to re-read it all in one sitting when you’re done.
Depends on how much longer her campaign is alive. I thought her campaign would be alive past super Tuesday, so I originally planned to eventually catch up with the present. Since it looks like she may not even make it to super Tuesday, I’m abridging some things. Basically, the series ends when her campaign ends.
Excellent! This is fun!
You could always retcon Bernie into the story somehow. Your fans might demand it.
Fun day at the range.
The 7.62×39 AR pistol ran much better with the enhanced firing pin ($10) and on a lower with the SB4. It was not as much fun on a Shockwave brace.
It really likes one brand of ammo. Still getting failures to ignite some really hard primers on other stuff. I guess I need the extra power hammer spring. The good news is it’s very consistent accuracy wise.
The 5.56 AR pistol desperately needs a red dot, but is fun as hell! It’s noticeably louder than than the 7.62.
The surprise on the pistol range was the S&W M&P 380EZ. That’s a fun little gun to shoot.
The PPQ was just ok. Yeah, the trigger is kinda nice for a striker pistol. Still, nothing to write home about.
Finally, I have a new ear protection set up. Walker slim amplified hearing protection over EP7 ultra ear plugs. I could not recommend it more. You get double ear protection and can still hear normal voice conversations.
Lense flare, I haz it:
https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/tDHZcJkuRly1Y_yhVFfSgQ.mf04O1lC9FDMyH1_E5hkRp
I have an AR handgun in 6.8 with a 10.5″ barrel – I’m thinking to trade out the standard A2 upper for a flat-top with an aluminum, railed handguard set-up. I’m still on the fence between the ultra short type or a standard, carbine length. I’m wondering if the slightly heavier recoil from the 6.8 round would be a problem with the shorter buffer & tube.
What is the issue with the Shockwave brace – felt recoil? Are you using it as a brace with the arm extended or shouldering it like a carbine?
The Shockwave did not work for me on the 7.62×39. I’m a skinny, keto dude at 6 ft and 150 or less.
It is perfectly fine on a 5.56…
Shouldering….as is appropriate.
Mammary Monday Untertitten!
http://archive.li/29jIT
Why do so many hawt women not know how to choose the proper bra size? I’m sure some of us could exit the monocle industry and make good money helping properly fit these poor creatures . Heck, maybe even do it pro bono.
My HS guidance counselor seriously failed me.
There will be a lot of bono. You’ll likely become a pro by the end.
3 looks like a fun date. 4 was kidnapped.
In Lizzie’s tongue, the demon is Nun’Yunu’Wi.
That was….an interesting story. It really took a left turn there near the end.
Next do what is on Hillary’s mind as Bloomie asks her to be his running mate.
Hmmm…
1. Win election as VP
2. Skin-suited POTUS resigns due to failing health
3. Coronation!
I love these.
“She had placed third in Iowa and now she was eating the entrails of the leading candidate. Probably didn’t bode well for her chances.”
I dunno – this could give me a reason to vote for her.
Sublime.
Wendy,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl5Uog-MDGo&list=RDnl5Uog-MDGo&start_radio=1
I’m just not myself when you’re away
Wow, just wow.
https://www.mrctv.org/blog/bloomberg-caught-tape-saying-elderly-should-be-denied-medical-care-because-cost-overruns
Nobody saw that coming. NOBODY.
It used to be, kill the old and take there shit, now its old People, killing the youth and taking there shit ,
Fucking Posers
Sarah Palin: Death panels!
MSM: (totally not in a misogynist way) You crazy bitch!
Any diagnoses at 95 should end with a script for a big bag of meth, viagra, and whatever else you want. And maybe some Junior mints.
mmm junior mints…
I agreed on the Junior Mints.
Could I please gets Snickers minis?
My late MiL wanted Kit Kats, and that’s what she got. Still think of her whenever I eat one.
“Single Payer Healthcare will NOT result in death panels!!!”
You go First!
Sup Ozy!
‘Sup, Yusef!!
I’m worn down. Got back from the gym and I’m just… sleepy. Sometimes certain workouts hit me that way.
I saw you threw a par! Was that for 9 or 18?
par for nine, which is scored on the course, +3 for 18, still great for me, Much Love !
Much love, my friend. +3 on 18 is pretty slick. Next excuse I have to come up that way we’ll have to go out and you can learn me a few things. We’ll ruin a good walk, to paraphrase Mr. Clements.
Yes SC would approve, we have hill shots, wind, and general trouble, it’s a Blast!
Frankly, this makes me like him, and I would go considerably lower than 95.
Can you explain why, RA? I’m genuinely curious why this would make you like him.
And I think I know what you mean when you add that you would “go considerably lower than 95” but I don’t want to assume and get caught putting words in your mouth. But I’d love to pick at the assumptions that underlie those sentiments, just to be clear.
He is the first politician I have seen that expressed an honest position regarding unlimited health care provisions for the elderly. IMO Medicare is a gross example of unequal treatment and generational theft.
Okay. I figured that’s what you were saying. I don’t necessarily disagree, but I will say this:
This example is just one of many that shows exactly why socialism is evil. It makes everyone their brother’s keeper, so to speak. We are all forced at gunpoint by the socialization of everything to have our pockets picked, nickel by dime by dollar, for decisions we wouldn’t otherwise make – or we might make in individual instances, but not in the aggregate. e.g. If I had the means, I can imagine circumstances where I might very well pay for my mother’s or grandfather’s (or other elderly relative’s) medical expenses, even if those might be ‘extraordinary’ expenses to others, but I wouldn’t expect someone else to have to pay for that cost because some bureaucrat “says so.”
Yes, he’s being “honest,” but he’s also being evil. Socialism requires people – bureaucrats – to make life and death judgments over people they don’t know and have never met. It’s exactly the Evil that socialists claim kkkkapitalists all have in their black hearts, but it’s another example of Progjection. Progs love getting to decide who lives or dies, who eats or starves, based upon their values of who should get what. It’s exactly what Nock (and many others) have warned against.
It makes even good people start making sweeping judgments about people they don’t know based upon “utilitarian” calculations of cost/benefit involving human life. I’m suggesting that perhaps you should consider that the entire idea of deciding whether or not someone should get treatment ought to be beyond the consideration of people not directly involved. It truly is the slipperiest of moral slopes and I don’t want to come across as lecturing you, but I see the temptation of that philosophy and how even good people fall for it because they’re tired of the “freeloaders.”
It always starts with the easiest examples: the extremely elderly with high cost medical care (but why is the cost high in the first instance??), then it’s the “clearly hopeless” cases, and before long, it keeps creeping as the costs go up. Before very long, it’s simply whoever the (((them))) of the current zeitgeist happens to be.
The lecture was anticipated. I do consider all these factors, and suggest that those directly involved in care decisions should live with the financial consequences of their decisions (increasing costs). Instead, others are forced to pay for their choices, including those not afforded the same consideration as-related to medical care.
I appreciate your perspective, and I understand the tendency to judge a utilitarian argument as ignorant.
I don’t judge utilitarianism as ignorant; I judge it as evil. It’s always been the “go-to” of intelligent people. I once held the same view as a prosecutor. To wit: if recidivism rates for former prisoners are somewhere north of, I don’t know, let’s just pick a number for argument’s sake, and say 75%. At some point you can easily “deduce” that the notion of “better that 10 guilty go free than an innocent man should go to jail” is just so much naive bullshit and arrive at the idea that anyone in front of you is likely guilty and – even if you’re wrong – hey, that’s just the price for keeping the criminals off of the streets. If 10% of people in prison are actually innocent, but you’re keeping the dirtbags behind bars, then hey, utilitarian calculations could easily say the “math” works out.
I realize you may not like that comparison, but I’ll just suggest that my former opinion was also evil. Utilitarianism ignores qualitative judgments that are being made and instead disguises them with numbers. My apologies if I offend because I don’t mean to, but it’s only when you’re on the wrong end of it that the evil starts to become clear. Unfortunately, it’s a huge part of how The State works.
Not at all offended, you are presenting honest and intelligent arguments. See Jarflax’s comments below, if you or others desire care, pay for it.
Is Medicare being deducted from your pay?
Gender Traitor: Medicare payroll tax is deducted from pay; this by no stretch pays for the cost of Medicare (now nearly $500K per couple beyond payments) and current generations + employers are paying ever-increasing amounts.
As I stated, I’m for abolishing the entire Medicare scheme (and SS). I’m 52, both my spouse and I have paid maximum payrolls taxes for most of our careers and I would happily give up all rights to future benefits to end these payrolls taxes.
Same age as me, and if we get those benefits we’ll be among the last. That house of cards is coming down soon.
I used to care for profoundly disabled people. For some of them every life function seemed to be nothing less than a slow form of torture but who was I to judge? It was just sad, sad, sad. Some of those people should have never been born and if that means that I flirt with utilitarianism, so be it. I see the both sides of the argument but we treat our pets better than some of those poor folks.
Pardon me if I’m misunderstanding your position, but it sounds to me as if you’d also happily take away the benefits of current retirees who likewise had all those deductions from their paychecks their entire working lives. Granted, we know SS and Medicare are giant Ponzi schemes, but I think I’d prefer to see them phased out rather than abruptly yanked away (though I’m aware it could all go bust whether we want it to or not.)
Gender Traitor: Yes, I would have them phased-out, but stop payroll deductions ASAP. Also, I am not in-favor of unlimited benefits.
RAH – Full disclosure: Mr. GT is on Medicare, though I would gladly have kept him on the insurance I get through my employer. For whatever reason, he chose not to stay on my plan. He assures me that his Medicare benefits are NOT unlimited but are actually pretty limited, which is why he pays for a Medicare supplement (as do many – most? – Medicare recipients.)
Hate to bug out, but I have to head for bed.
I am WAAAAYYYYY at the tail end of this discussion, but I’m almost 52 as well.
RAH is right.
Jarflax is also right that we are the last, if we get it at all.
There are so many elements to the whole question of extreme medical expenditures at the tail end of life and all of them arise from Government interference with the market. If we paid for medical care directly no one could reasonably object to someone spending their own money on their own or their relative’s care. But it goes further than that. Direct payment would mean the 95 year old seeing clearly that his pointless, and likely impossible to recover from, surgery was wasting money he’d prefer to go to his kids or grandkids. So not only would it be someone ‘wasting’ their own money, they likely would waste less of it.
There is another issue going on in very old people having surgery, at least occasionally. Sometimes it is a way to end it all without forcing your loved ones to make the decision for you. I am not going to fault the guy who hits 95, is in constant pain and not really in a position to take his life (or has religious objections to suicide) and who says, sure sign me up for that hip replacement.
“Not fair!”
People object to other people paying their own way all the time, in every facet of life.
LOl, I said reasonably object precisely because you are right. Busybodies always think they have a better plan for your money than you. If Grandpa wants to see what he can do with an 8 ball, 6 Viagra, and a hotel room full of hookers, I wish him all the pleasure he can find. It isn’t your money unless and until he leaves it to you. And if you aren’t in the will? Too damn bad, mind your business.
Yeap, I figured. Problem is, a lot of people are not reasonable. And they vote.
Maybe the TL/DR version would be this: I encourage you to argue vehemently for, and doing everything you can, to get rid of Medicare, rather than cheering for the deaths of the older generation because of the costs involved. Because you’re being robbed by the tax man, it hardly seems the moral position to think it’s a good idea for another generation to be deprived of medical care and/or that they die.
And again, this is what socialism does: creates enmity amongst various factions of the populace by picking and choosing who gets what. And thus do the politicos succeed in keeping us at each other’s throats while they dole out the bennies to whom they choose for votes.
Agreed – and I do argue this concept. My moral position is that I want NO ONE stealing from me or anyone else. Admittedly, I have animus toward the “Medicare generation” because they steal from others and deprive them of medical care.
How much choice did they have as to whether or not to participate in Medicare?
And does involuntary theft by a third party justify death to the beneficiary? I’m not sure I can find any way to make that work.
I don’t care much for generational welfare, but I also don’t think we should shoot people who go on the dole.
I have animus toward the “Medicare generation” because they steal from others and deprive them of medical care.
I challenge the truth of this. It is not a zero sum game. The effects of ‘waste’ are much less direct and targeted than your statement assumes. The medicare expenditures deprive you of health care probably less than they deprive you of vacation time, as more resources are allocated to health care to soak up those sweet sweet (not really) Medicare bucks.
And does involuntary theft by a third party justify death to the beneficiary? I’m not sure I can find any way to make that work.
See also: abortion after rape.
Jarflax: Agreed with your statements – my comment regarding deprivation was specifically directed at those without access to medical care/insurance as Medicare is primarily generational (hence the “Medicare for all” cries from Bernie Bros and others). I’m for no free rides, but find it particularly insidious that the Medicare generation is for healthcare for me (on the dime of others), but not for thee.
Trashy – thanks for the story, first off.
And second, re: your comment, in my younger days I simply assumed that abortion for rape was moral and good and justified the “pro-choice” position. It wasn’t until I was watching “Rob Roy” – of all things! – when (spoiler alert!!) Liam Neeson says to Jessica Lange (mrrowww!) after she has been raped by Tim Roth’s character something to the effect that ‘the child isn’t the one who needs to die’ that I really started to chew that over. It’s uncomfortable as hell, but it really does force one to examine their principles.
I’m not advocating for any position because mine is simply that govt shouldn’t be involved in anything that complicated; they can’t even handle car registrations. But that one moment opened my eyes to the possibility that maybe it wasn’t so cut and dry as I had been “told” my whole life.
One other point, RA: I hate being a pedant about this, but it drives me nuts – the intentional conflation of medical insurance with medical care. They are not even remotely the same thing. The best analogy I ever heard on this was the difference between firefighters and fire insurance – when your house is burning, you need water and people to put the fire out. Hopefully you bought insurance, but insurance only protects “stuff;” it doesn’t stop fires.
The same is true for healthcare and health insurance. Unfortunately, Team l’Etat Uber Alles has intentionally conflated the two and now it’s hard to have any kind of discussion w/o people using the words interchangeably.
Health “insurance” covering birth control really put that into perspective for me.
VITAL care for you as a gay man and I as a celibate hetero, we couldn’t live without it.
Ozy: I do not conflate care with insurance and certainly don’t use them interchangeably. I see I wrote “medical care/insurance” in a response to Jarflax – that was intentional.
I can only speak for me, but what he said was not wrong.
The second you start paying for everyone’s healthcare, decisions MUST be made. That’s what he was saying. “We can’t pay for everybody or some people are not going to get care when we deem it unnecessary because we can’t afford to.”
I wish I’d been awake when this conversation got initiated. As someone who is at the stage of life being discussed I would like to have been involved.
Just yesterday (as I’m getting ready to do my income tax) I started thinking, surprise, surprise! Anyway we (old people) pay about 17-1800 a year Medicare insurance. Just one trip a year to a doc will eat up that 1800, 2 trips will surpass that. I tried to find out on line what the average duffer receives for his/her money but I couldn’t find any charts. There are gross figures, i.e. Medicare costs are: maybe 3-4 times what are collected from our Medicare payments but no dollar amounts per individual.
Have to remember, as well, many SS recipients are getting way more monthly SS than they paid in so the Medicare deduction isn’t really being paid by them (us) as well.
“Throw blacks against the wall. Throw oldsters out the window. Bloomberg 2020.”
Hmm, toss in a bit of insulting the intelligence of farmers and I think they have a candidate that will beat Trump.
He really should start using the Afrikaaner inflection and start calling them “Blecks”. Or “Fuzzy-Wuzzies”.
+1 Kaffir
Yep but I hesitated to belabor the point.
I think this should merit a narrowed gaze.
Who’d a thought Bloomberg would be the one honest Democrat?
I saw him in action as mayor for 12 years. The man has no filter.
Was he standing on a step stool?
My only and bestest Cousin, is coming to stay with me for a while, she’s alone, so am I, we Have had a very close relationship for 50 years, ahemm,
Do not post that on xhamster.
We are discussing some issues right now, it’s complicated
I’m glad you are going to have someone flesh and blood around to help you through this.
Cousin loving had me a blast
Cousin loving happened so fast
I met a girl related to me
Met a boy looked like my dad
Cousin days drifting away to oh oh the Cousin nights
*thunderous, one-handed applause*
*looks back a few nights ago. feels the shame and goes to the box*
I love the Dan,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq8OU-7JDFA&list=RDnl5Uog-MDGo&index=6
I just love the Skunk Baxter solo(s) in that.
Such a great tune.
I can’t believe MikeS is letting this go.
Dude, maybe you’re at the wrong rally.
Holy shit, Ryan Newman at Daytona. Hope he’s OK.
Latest: “Serious condition…injuries not life-threatening.”
(I’ve been bouncing between Twitter – which I rarely visit, NASCAR’s website, and a DDG search for “ryan newman daytona 500” pretty much since Fox’s coverage of the race ended.)
FoxSports1 has talking heads discussing it right now.
Never mind – they just went back to basketball, but I imagine they’ll break in if there are any other significant updates.
Watched the video a few minutes ago and wondered to myself, how the hell do you survive that?
It’s absolutely amazing what they’ve done with modern race cars and equipment. Drivers have literally walked away from very similar crashes. Science!
What always stuck with me was that Earnhardt Sr.’s fatal crash didn’t look that serious – he didn’t roll or go airborne. However, IIRC he was “old school” and didn’t like to use some of the safety equipment that had been developed but wasn’t yet required.
Yep. He refused to use the HANS, and he also wore an open face helmet, IIRC.
They zoomed in on it and there was gasoline pouring out. Was expecting a fireball.
Roll cages and crumple zones.
Damn, that was a nasty hit.
He’s pretty fuckin’ far from OK, but it appears that he will survive his injuries.
I’d say alive is a lot fuckin’ closer to OK than dead.
Believe Ship was quoting a movie. Can’t remember which one.
Marcellus Wallace after his gimp moment.
+ 1 blow torch
Pulp Fiction
I want him to be OK…sorry…live, because he’s the last NASCAR driver that I hated back when I gave a shit about NASCAR. Worst teammate Rusty Wallace (or probably anybody) ever had. We have a connection.
The word ‘clandestine’ was actually used in some of the paperwork I signed today. I thought that only applied to gov gigs.
Must’ve been those shades that got you the gig. CPRM: Sconnie of Mystery.
Seriously, I spent 8hrs in orientation and like 10 minutes in the department I’ll be working in. “We aren’t supposed to know anything about you” “Oh, nice meeting you, we won’t talk much after this” “Oh, I’d introduce myself and ask about you, but I’m not supposed to talk to anyone in your department” “I don’t know what this procedure will be like in your department, I’m not allowed in there.” I feel like fucking 007 and haven’t even worked a shift yet.
I’d ask you what you are doing for a living but it sounds like you’d have to kill me if you told me.
Well rest assured, I’m not allowed to kill, I don’t work for the US government.
Some people I know worked for a company which was hired by the US government. Those are often the more dangerous ones since they don’t have the same kind of oversight.
Gov: clandestine service
CPRM’s new gig: clandestine servicing
The betht pith hookerth are the onthe that thtay thinlent.
I dunno what this word is, but ’tis cromulent.
You have to say it like “The Hat” would.
I know! But…is the real-world equivalent “sinlent”?
Hey, the Hat gets drunk every night. Deal with it.
“tsthlilent” Like Daffy Duck if he were a little more demented.
OK, this was the answer I was
hoping forexpecting.Has this been posted yet?
It never stops.
Nice job Trashy! “Preening poofter” is le piece de resistance.
I’m a fan, I laughed in earnest. It was such a surprise, like finding a baby in a bag at the railway station, or finding a hideous portrait in that youthful person’s house.
You’ve been to my shed?
ISWYDT.
Wilde that someone did.
waited 1:44 on that joke.
I Can Dance.
I can’t.
Thank you for taking up the slack while I’m in bed early to get up for my 6AM shift.
Although of course you should have linked to this
If you want to?
“We can dance! We can Dance! Everybody shit in their pants!”
Password Is Taco
#EskiBro
EBDB is gonna be a huge success.
I plan on joining.
Alright, sorry to cut out in the middle of a good discussion, but I’m (relatively) old and calling it a night.
Reposting because I don’t think the afternoon links group got the punch line.
CPRM on February 17, 2020 at 5:33 pm
Most of my training today was general stuff. How to keep customers happy and rules for treating a customer well even when they are treating you poorly. I had to read this:
Then the lady running the orientation asked me which of the rules of customer service the lady broke.
I said none, it’s the politician that broke the rules. He’s the one selling something, trying to get reelected. She’s just serving food at a barbecue, it doesn’t say she’s selling anything.
Her response was,’I’ve never had anyone see it like that, but yeah, that makes a lot of sense.’
CPRM on February 17, 2020 at 5:41 pm
Also, after I read that aloud she said I should be on the radio. Heh.
A proper Yankee response by the chicken lady.
If she was fuckin’ with you….well, bravo, actually. But, still–ass-kicking may be due her.
No, like I said, there appears to be a lot of ‘mystery’ left to the other personnel about people in my department. She was honest when she said it, she didn’t know my background.
That is both cool as hell, and a bit frightening. But, it’s not US gov’t shit, so….good on them, I guess.
The ten minutes I spent in my department today made me think of that shitty show Scorpion that I never watched.
We’re not even allowed to eat our lunch in the employee break room. Between these kind of rules and HR, I don’t think this will be the poon magnet other people make work sound like. Once again being screwed by boomers.
I predict it doubles your annual scoring!
0*2=0, checks out.
Chicks dig mystery, bruh!
Aww. I was hoping she was some sassy old Black Grandma. “You go back to the end of the line!”
Kind of forgot about this series. Glad to see the train is still chugging.
And I’m lost.
Take a wrong turn at Albuquerque?
Extra hour lunch break so thought I’d cycle around the neighborhood. Now everything looks the same but different.
All the vaginas are vertical? You’re just in Cracker Town.
Same, but, different, you say?
Now you are ready to vote for a Democrat!
Been meaning to ask – where’s the avatar from? God as my witness, that is a great ass.
Thanks. I squat.
I thought Japan had modern toilets?
You asking me if that’s what you thought?
But they still use Squatty Potties.
You generally get a choice – unless you’re the last in line and then, invariably, the squatter is the only one open.
Or some Japanese lady takes pity on you and directs you to the western toilet while apologizing to the other Japanese ladies as my wife experienced.
She was also in another restroom where the Japanese girls took a look at the stalls and just marched right out the door.
I love that bit – Stern played it all the time. My roommate and I quoted it each other frequently.
First time for me to hear it. The sound effects alone cracked me up.
That whole album is pretty great.
“C’mon, just say cock”
Took the day off today cause the kids were all off school anyway and the wife doesn’t work Mondays. We went down the coast to the feed store and picked up some new chicks, they are very cute and chirping away in the garage right now. On the way down we stopped at a hiking area to park and have a hike, let the kids work out their energy.
We pull into the parking lot that has a couple rows with spaces for about two dozen cars. There is a red car stopped with the motor off in the no parking area next to the bathroom. I drive by slowly looking for a spot and almost make a complete circle back to the bathroom when I see a couple getting into their car. I pull in close next to them, put on my blinker and wait a couple minutes till they pull out. As I pull in to the spot I see the red car had driven around the lot and was now behind me. The guy is laying on his horn. I get out and he has his window rolled down and is yelling at me that I’ve stolen his spot. I ask him if he is kidding and he continues to go on that I need to back out and give him the spot. This is utterly bizarre to me. I would never cut in front of someone who was waiting for a parking spot, but he was clearly not, he was on the other end of the lot. He had a (terrible) Australian accent so I told that in America you don’t get the first dibs on any spot in the lot just because you were in the lot first. He didn’t take it well, started swearing at me. By this point the kids and wife were out and wondering what was going on. I just laughed at him and told him to keep circling and I’m sure a spot would eventually open up. It was a fairly bizarre encounter. While he was yelling another spot opened up on the other side and another car drove past him and took it. He didn’t take it well when we pointed it out.
Tell him he was circling the lot the wrong way.
in brief: fuck that guy.
That’s the kind of guy who will go back to Oz in a sputtering rage about how all Yanks need to be dis-armed because he’s going to be an arse-whole to the wrong guy and meet his buddies Smith&Wesson. Hopefully he has enough self-preservation instinct to know when it’s time to stand down.
It was really weird. I’m not one to cut anyone off, but I guess he expected that everyone who entered would form a line after him (which I don’t know how you would know he was even in a line and not just waiting for someone at the bathroom). I have a tendency to get very calm when other people get worked up so when he started swearing I just laughed at him. I could not imagine what he expected. And that horrific penal colony accent as well.
Making chili for tomorrow night’s dinner
https://youtu.be/nPItJS1gtVY
So far it’s tasting pretty good.
My FIL knows him, sort of. He (FIL) does chuckwagon cooking in OK, so they have the same social circle in that matter.
I asked about him, and FIL said Kent’s wife is responsible for his YT success; apparently, he just cooks and can be country-hammy, and she makes him look good while doing it.
Or, something like that.
Not surprising. She’s a good looking filly.
He makes a big deal out of not using ground meat and then… he uses ground beef.
?
First/only time I made it I used cubed beef – that was yummy. I don’t want to watch a ground beef recipe.
I subbed in about 1/2lb of stew meat (chuck by the look of it) and simmering it a bit longer than he did. The chipotles in adobo are a nice touch with a bit of smoky sweetness
Weirdness for this evening – watching Stranger Things for the first time and Eleven looks exactly like my nephew. It’s distracting.
Tell your nephew to stay of the interwebs for a while. Because, as CPRM pointed out the other night…yeesh.
Also pointed out, her handlers had her her strike some glamour poses for the pedos. I’ll take aging Winona or Nancy and still feel the creep.
TIL some lesbian do, indeed, have penises.
Madness.
Now, I know I can count on some you glibs to make the DFW glib-up this Saturday.
Chafed–now is the time for that trip.
straff–you have local family, right?
/Hello?? Is thing on?
I’ll be eligible for vacation time when Fourscore’s Honey Harvest is on. Thinking about taking my first ever vacation to go.
*whispers*
Wrong ‘honey’, C
Ah, but I’ll get to negotiate the contract for Tundra’s daughter face to face, I’m better at deal making in person.
Why do I envision the barter scene from the first part of Conan the Barbarian?
I’m picturing CPRM driving a herd of goats and sheep across Wisconsin and Minnesota as the bride price.
??
Jarflax wins the thread.
Dude, six days notice isn’t going to work if I have to get on a plane. I would love to meet you guys but I need some advance notice.
Oh, no plane necessary.
You can just drive.
https://youtu.be/Sm1q1XoN_Qo
Well, if you wanna wear bell bottoms, go right ahead.
Otherwise, brother, you’ll need to keep your wet hands to yourself. ?
Hello. Busy time with work. Eventually, I’ll make it to the Dallas area.
You two took my plea way too seriously!
Not that you aren’t
expectedwelcome, mind you.Q bait.
https://nypost.com/2020/02/11/hottest-mom-in-the-world-mistaken-for-her-daughters-sister/
Totally would.
We need that comic about Asian women aging over here!
Anyway, I think I gave up enough secrets for tonight. Got to get up bright and early to be to work tomorrow afternoon. It’s a Hard Day’s Night.
How to totally fuck your life UP, in less than 10 minutes.
I can’t believe she wasn’t charged with attempted murder or assault with a deadly weapon.
Excellent point. Kinda makes you wonder just where the line is on violent felonies and the charges they garner. Does BLM actually have a point?
Whelp. This is the end of my evening Glibs commentary. Back to work tomorrow so it’s gonna be playing catch-up and shitting on the weekend posts for awhile. God Speed my lovelies and I hope that DFW meet-up goes well. Still don’t feel quite mended but we’ll see what we see. C, I’m glad that your orientation was mysterious.
Hi-yoooo!
Own goal!
https://www.kgw.com/article/news/local/chinese-american-community-in-portland-impacted-by-coronavirus-fears-misconceptions/283-91ce1b8a-7584-4936-ba1b-
Yeah, nice try to pivot dipshit. Should have said Facebook, because as soon as you said WeChat, I know exactly who isn’t showing up and who is spreading that misinformation. Also, if you’re trying to allay the general public’s fears, mentioning where recent visitors to the People’s Republic of Coronavirus could be congregating is probably not best way to go about it.
I’ll need some clarification on the WeChat part, as I’ve never heard of it.
WeChat is a Chinese ‘social media’ platform. It is not, shall we say, independent of the governing body there on the mainland.
So these are Chinese speakers, using a Chinese platform to pass rumors about this business, not raciss wypipo.
But even aside from the WeChat, the article also mentions a CHINESE paper used to quell rumors, and there aren’t a lot of white racists where that’s going to be very helpful. What a disingenuous turd of an article.
I get a 404 error when I click on it. But, interestingly enough, Razorfist just put out a rant on virus, and talked about news reports that are tut-tutting about this supposed raycism making its way through woke media. But, when does it not, right?
Still, you’d think that anyone not Caucasian (hey, it has ‘asian’ in it!) has somehow been infected with White Corona Virus, since, as we all know, only wypipo look down on others. And, no non-white group ever has anything like superiority complexes, or, in-group prejudices.
Oh, and, thank you, OTA.
“… there aren’t a lot of white racists where that’s going to be very helpful…”
I happen to know a number of white dudes who do spend a good deal of time on WeChat in Chinese who all live in Chinese-speaking countries (all of who are married to Asian women) so you can’t say for sure. They might just be really super secret racists.
There was a couple here in my previous Mandarin class that used WeChat extensively as part of their business catering to mainland Chinese.
Messaging app
WeChat – mainland China
Line – Japan and Taiwan
An interesting graphic of popular messenger apps by country
https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0OQT46rIF_s/XGGF6AWXseI/AAAAAAAAAwg/r4knW9dsDecljYo6oftcICeBtXjqbMmIgCLcBGAs/s0/30-Digital-2019-Global-Overview-Images-v01-Slide-8.png
Facebook Messenger??? Ewww…..
That link is infected.
Ultimately, discrimination is founded in ignorance
The author could trying founding it in the dictionary because it doesn’t mean what he/she thinks it means.
https://www.kgw.com/article/news/local/chinese-american-community-in-portland-impacted-by-coronavirus-fears-misconceptions/283-91ce1b8a-7584-4936-ba1b-0ec98276cb00
Putting the ‘strange’ in stranger…
/watch the whole video for more hilarity.
Are those stories Snopes checked?
Heh!
I, for one, want the story with the “Toejam & Earl” mention to be verified.
No, not because of the Hitachi scene, but, because I really dig that wacky video game.
How to get 10K comments on one Twitter post.
https://mobile.twitter.com/RichardDawkins/status/1228943686953664512
I’m out after….oh, 4 or so comments. But, I will agree with the observer who mentioned never hearing “it wouldn’t work” as an argument against it.
It’s a good example of people hearing only what they want to hear.
Ooh, our fave doc wades in!
The guy is a fuck-tard, but….am I wrong for thinking that, if he’s busy twatting, he’s not likely to be screwing up a patient?
One can hope.
I would really love to see a parody of his bullshit, with a play on his (rather unfortunate name).
“Gene Jizz”, or, something along those lines.
From Wikipedia:
Womp womp
He kinda has a point about the dogs.
*raises shields*
Hi all!
I successfully wiped my old hard drives with DBAN (not with a cloth) and will research tech schools to donate the pretty nice hardware to.
I have set up the new computer and all is well EXCEPT audio! Sounds fine over Bluetooth to the Aiwa speaker, but the direct green ports out are quiet as a mouse. Even the monitor speaker is that way, though it wasn’t when I hooked it to the old PC to copy over the media.
Gonna have some digging to do tomorrow…
Damn…
Hey–you’re invited (along with Chafed and straff) to head on over to the Metroplex for a glib-up Saturday evening! I might even let you sit by me… 😉
HA! If I play my cards right.
I did see the announcement and am checking my calendar and budget.
Aww, hell–you can play them wrong, for what it’s worth.
Wait….why am I hearing Lady GaGa?
BTW I just emailed you a question that can wait but if you get bored please read and cogitate.
OK, I sent you a response, for what it’s worth…(crossing fingers that I am helpful)/
I experienced the joy of Urgent Vare for my cough, laryngitis, nausea, etc.
They did a strep test (negative) . 100.5 low grade fever. Doc said laryngitis is ALWAYS a virus but gave me antibiotics in case of secondary bacterial infection due to a beleaguered immune system.
Wait…was this today??
Yeah.
I multitask. My Brain has more to offer this world than my body does, so I want to make the most of it.
Based on your avatars, that is one helluva brain.
?
I hate stress-induced indigestion – it just makes me more stressed.
Do you have catching up to do the day after a holiday?
I’m a worrier, especially when getting ready to do something I’ve never done before. In the near future my job is shifting towards a more managerial and supervisory role, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing in those areas.
Thing is, the actual task almost always turns out to be less stressful than all the fretting over it beforehand.
Just keep reminding yourself about the last part, and that your supervisors wouldn’t have given you these new responsibilities if they didn’t think you were capable of carrying them out well.
Well, there is the “No other option” possibility. Management has to be state staff (not consultants), and we’re running low. 😉
I don’t get indigestion from stress. I wake up at 0230 dreading the day to come.
I wake up at 2:30… because I am an insomniac.
That was my experience – just not being able to sleep knowing a big day was ahead.
It’s not that big of a day, just waiting for the off the wall ass chewing from the boss.
Oh dear – sorry I didn’t realize you meant today. Is it just an ass-chewing or might there be more severe consequences?
Oh it is hit and miss. Some days she is fine, then the next day you get it for some bizarre reason. Boss is under a lot of stress so I think she takes it out on her staff. I am not the only one who gets it. It is weird.
I’ve had bosses like that, one in particular. It didn’t take long for me to realize that people kept leaving because of him, mostly because they told me they were leaving because of him, but it was a family business and although he wasn’t family he had been there so long it was like family so it was a weird dynamic when it came to citing him as a reason and I know most didn’t directly. Off the record though, he was impossible.
Ugh… my supervisor screamed at me a few hours ago. He came in to the store at 2:30am, on his 1 day off, to yell at the night crew because nobody is onboard with his change established work procedures just because he’s new and wants to put his own stamp on the job plan. He told me in uncertain terms that he was trained by the absolute night manager in the whole company. Now, our company, Ahold-Delhaize has over 3200 supermarkets across three continents. Somehow, the idea that the very best night-manager in the whole company is a guy in Howard Beach, Queens doesn’t ring true.
Tell him if he wants to change the Standard Work he needs to hold a Kaizen and Value Stream Map that shit.
Screaming wouldn’t get me to comply. It causes me to dig in my heels and become defiant.
#metoo Passive-aggressive asshole powers activate!
I won’t be here for morning links so here is my contribution.
Skinny white kid might have some aggression issues. Not surprising for someone who supports a communist I guess.
I think that was included in the links yesterday, or maybe only in the comments? Either way that kid’s actions are garbage.
Damn. Scooped again.
It’s worth a repost as yet another example of how Bernie has become a singularity that syphons lunatics, old school commies, identity grifters, bike lock ninjas, etc, and the conflicts that arise between all these rapidly converging people eager to ride the Bern train into power.
I’m in awe of David Goggins, but I feel like the truth is that he has a stamina, and a determination that some schlub like me just doesn’t. My “40%” is more like my 95%.
That’s the point. Your 40% isn’t your 95%. Likely not even close. You just have to push beyond the point your brain says to give up. We get good at convincing ourselves we can’t go any further. And not just in physical tasks.
I’m a good way through the book. I like a lot of his ideas on dealing with people or situations that you don’t want to.
Hot damn I’d better give him another chance. I think I just pushed myself past 1.2% in accepting David Goggins into my life.
I forgot to order the book thanks for the reminder. Have a great day. Out.
Do a triathalon. Did some when I was younger and now I know I can walk home 10K from the bar if I miss my last train. *Not really even a joke.
I used to walk that far and further on the reg. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.
One foot in front of the other. As long as you got somewhere to go, you’ll keep doing that.
This. Tell your brain to fuck off for while and the miles just disappear.
I lack that capacity. My brain refuses to shut off when I want it to and decides not to work when I need it.
I know what you mean. Stupid brain.
Mine has decided I need to get up at 4:00 am on the fucking dot these days. How it knows, I have no clue, but 4:00 am it is, not 3:59 or 4:01.
Does it make any difference when you crash? If I go to bed early I sleep until after 6. Late, and I’m wide awake at 3:30.
Nope. 9:30, 10:30, same-same.
Does it change with daylight savings time?
Just started about a month ago. Besides, we don’t do that faggy DST shit in Arizona.
Try it. DST fucks up sleep cycles something fierce, and would probably break this habit.
Let’s see if we can predict the lynx.
Boy Scouts of America files for bankruptcy amid sex-abuse accusations
Attorneys are currently seeking settlements on behalf of thousands of men who say they were abused as children by scoutmasters or other leaders. The organization can reportedly put the lawsuits on hold following the filing, but the it could ultimately have to sell off property holdings or take other actions to raise money for a compensation fund that could reach over $1 billion
STEVE SMITH SHOW SCOUT MASTER HOW TO EARN MERIT BADGE!