Several moons ago one of the Glibertariat – a mostly-lurking *chipper* IIRC – had asked for a primer on how to think musically when first learning to play the guitar. Sorry for the delay in responding; mine is busier than a pushing-50 dad bod ought to. Feeling myself fit for the task, I started writing this out laboriously linearly, then decided no: the prose will hint at the rambling coil that is a musicians’ convo.
I’ll assume you’ve got some song books (it is 2019 so maybe you’re using teh interwebs for a site like ultimate-guitar.com) and some chord or song charts. We’ll also assume you know how to tune your axe. Everything that follows is for standard EADGBE tuning. This submission will be an attempt to teach theory in a way in which I wish I’d been taught … in a way that might bring a more rapid understanding within the context of being a guitar hobbyist or a semi-pro gigging guitarist. Thus beginneth the lesson.
Everyone knows how to sing, “Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do.” This is the major scale and can be sung in any key. What you need to know as a guitarist is that from one note in this scale to the next, you either move up one fret or two frets on your guitar’s neck. A musician would replace the term “one fret” with “half step” and replace “two frets” with “whole step.” Easy peasy. For the key of C (only the white keys on a piano), it looks like this:
When we get to 8, we’re actually back at the note of C, or the root note of the key, but one octave higher. So we’re really back at 1. No one says 8. (A musician will frequently talk in terms of the numbers rather than the notes; so will I.) On your guitar, pluck an open string – not fretting it anywhere with your left hand. Now put a finger on the 12th fret (typically the one with 2 dots close to the guitar’s body) of that same string. You just played the same note but at 2 different octaves.
Also notice on the chart that there are only half steps between 3&4 and 7&1. Remember this. There’s a whole step between all the others. On your fretboard, going from 3 to 4 or from 7 to 1, you simply move up one fret. For all the other notes, you move up 2 frets. Now we can modify our chart for any key, and it looks like this:
with the root being 1. For example, in the key of G, G is the root and is 1.
So let’s bail on the Do Re Mi and look at all the keys. # means sharp, a half step up from the natural note. b means flat, a half step down from the natural note. A natural note is neither sharp nor flat. On the guitar, a sharp or a flat is the fret between the natural notes.
Notice that there is only a half step between the natural notes of E&F and B&C. This is a Musical Iron Law. Know this just like you now know that there is only one half step between 3&4 and 7&1 in any major scale. Don’t ask why, it’s just the way things are. IOW, when talking about notes, there is only a half step between the natural notes of E&F and B&C. When talking about any major scale, there is only a half step between the notes of 3&4 and 7&1.
What shall we do next? Chord construction. A chord is 3 or more notes played/strummed simultaneously. (Side note: 2 notes played simultaneously is called an interval, not a chord. The term “power chord” is a misnomer, as it is actually a 1/5 interval. /pedant off) A major chord is playing the 1, 3 & 5 together. Since there are 6 strings, sometimes you’re playing the same notes more than once, just at different octaves.
Let’s chart it out, and with an example. The fret diagram/grid shows the fingering at the top. For guitarists (not pianists) the index finger is 1, middle is 2, ring 3, pinky 4. 0 (zero or O) means the string is played but left open – you’re not fretting it. Thumb is T. X means don’t play that string. As you get better, you’ll naturally learn to mute unplayed strings, either with idle fret hand fingers (or parts of active fingers) or the base of your picking hand palm. I digress; the major chord construction visuals:
Make sense? Cool. So after the lesson you can bust out those chord charts and see more of what I’m talking about. Note that the root here is the lowest note, or as we say, it is at the bottom – it is the foundation of the chord being played. But the root is not always the bottom note of a chord. For example, if you put your pinky or thumb at the 3rd fret of the low E string, the bottom or bass note would be a G. Now the chord would be C/G, or as we say, “C over G.” When the root is not the bottom, it’s called an inversion or an inverted chord.
Big side note: A bass player will typically play the root note with you if the chord is not an inversion. For inversions, she’ll typically play the bottom note indicated to the right of the slash. E.g., she’ll play the G note for the C/G inversion above.
Bigger side note: if you’re playing with a bass guitarist (or a keyboardist who can cover the bass with the left hand), you can usually not worry about which note is the bottom and play an inversion in a higher register (a higher group of notes). This is where the real fun begins and is a subject for another lesson, or a million other lessons 😉
Let’s do minor chords and call it a day. A brief introduction is all that’s needed; at this point, the visuals should do the trick. A minor chord is simply a major chord, but with a flat 3rd, or b3. To say it yet another way, instead of playing a major 3rd, you play a minor 3rd. There are minor scales, but we’re only working off the major scale for our theory now. Here we go:
Again, bust out those chord charts and spot-verify this chord construction theory with some other minor chords so that you get it. The guidance regarding the bass and inversions mentioned above also applies to minor chords.
Warning: You might be looking at some of your own charts and wondering about the theory behind chord extensions. Extensions are numbers added to the chords, like A7, or B-9, or C#add4. Never fear. Ignore the numbers for now. For an A7, you can just play an A chord. For the B-9, just the B minor chord, etc. You will get into trouble if you ignore the “sus” in a suspended chord, or if you play a major 5 for an augmented or diminished chord. We can get to those later; for now, just lay back and do what those nice chord charts tell you.
I hope this is a good start, and I hope your musical world just got a little bigger. If it is and you want more, lemme know! We’ll move on to barre chords, playing scales, and a bit of improvising.
Very well done, it should help just about anyone learn,
Bravo!
I played some guitar as a yute, but it just wasn’t my forte. I don’t think my hands could handle it these days. My youngest son is pretty accomplished. I did pretty well with the alto sax though.
I play anything and everything I can find, except for wind instruments,
That’s what she said!
Ok that’s my quota for the year used up.
After you learned to work the saxophone, did you play just what you feel?
And drink Scotch whiskey all night long?
Well, he didn’t die behind the wheel, so…
Wait–you didn’t die, did you, Spud?
Six years of piano lessons, but not a particularly good player.
My sister is a music teacher, however.
I didn’t say I was good at them all, it’s fun to play though,
I can transpose on a piano, but despite my best efforts as a teenager I’m useless with a guitar.
You don’t get lots of chicks as a pianist.
I went from guitar to piano, I’m OK, Electronica helps………
hide some mistakes
“You don’t get lots of chicks as a pianist.”
That’s just because you can’t carry a piano with you as you’re strolling across the quad.
George Carlin used to have a routine where he listed “things you’ll never hear anyone say”.
One was “hand me that piano.”
Billy Joel would like a word.
^THIS^
My brother was a music teacher. I never want to hear scales on a clarinet, saxophone, piano, violin, etc. again.
3 Chords, E, D, C,
Rock is easy,
give it a try!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzHW2ONJR-k
No way.
I was just chatting with my extremely talented musician daughter about how I’ve fucking forgotten everything theory-wise I learned as a yute. I can still play a little, but…
Thanks, dude. This is awesome!
^this! I was dropping off a present for Gson #2 when Gson #1 asked where his Electric guitar was, of course we brought it with us,
so now it seems I have 2 new students,yikes.
I’ll send them here,
I don’t know that I’ll ever pick up a sax again, but I wouldn’t mind picking up an acoustic guitar.
Lol.
I played alto sax back in the day, too. I had an awesome teacher who tried to get me to switch to bassoon, but because I was a dumbass kid, I refused.
Bad decision.
I have a beautiful acoustic guitar I bought many years ago. Handmade in 1976. My cousin is a professional composer and uses it frequently for recording.
Buy a guitar and have some fun. I’m gonna see if I can get back in the swing. A music school opened up a block from my office. Fate?
Not a mistake to forego bassoon – the intense air pressure against the soft palate when playing double reeds can affect your brain! (Full disclosure: briefly involved with bassoonist between husbands. Found the experience…unsatisfactory.)
I just mean for the opportunities. Believe me, it wasn’t a career path. But so many music programs back then lacked bassoon, it could have been a nice means to an end.
But yeah, I’m not losing any sleep. Sorry about the asshole. Sounds like you made the right decision.
My son plays. Very much this. He is in demand at his college.
And here I thought you were setting up a “You’d think he would know how to blow” joke.
One of my bst friends and I used to joke about “speed bassooning” for speed metal.
Blue sparks shooting out of it from eldritch powers…
*best
*stares blankly at screen, sips vodka*
*stares blankly at screen, club’s glass with Rhywun*
Clinks
*womp, womp*
Damn vodka
Very good article. Thank you.
My advice: buy a guitar (any guitar) and play your song. Just wail away and wail away loudly!
Do your thing.
Here’s some punky power pop https://youtu.be/n-JKydozBn4
Damn bourbon…
Nice!
It reminds of me of someone but I don’t wanna say because I hate that.
*clinks glasses, drinks wine*
*sits next to Slumbrew,* So, 137 bottles of wine.
*checks cellartracker*
136.
OTOH, wine club should ship today, so it’ll be 142 shortly. Plus I’ve earmarked my superbowl winnings for a case of something I really like, so call it 154.
(just did my first inventory, somehow 40+ bottles “disappeared” – “missing, presumed drunk”, as cellertracker puts it; to steal a line i heard my wife state “I’ll put that on your headstone”).
Stewie Griffin has a nice songwriting primer here:
https://youtu.be/6RmO6fc-FdE
Awesome! times 2!
2 because I wasn’t afraid to click your link, unlike some friends with the initials HM or such,
Yup!
I wouldn’t want to lose our family friendly rating.
I also don’t like going down rabbit holes, and there are so many good links it’s hard to click em all,
But I know you well enough it would be safe and Hilarious,
And the chords he played are the first chords to teach IMO, Then off to the next level……………….
Agreed just 2 months ago my son picked up a guitar and played GACD and is now just absolutley beyond my level
21 years as a dilettante guitar noodler and I never really got very far with theory. I’ve bookmarked this for reference.
I tried guitar. Couldn’t get the fingers moving fast enough for the chord changes. I stuck with piano and trumpet.
Speaking of piano, any recommendations for good keyboards? It wouldn’t travel or do anything but play in a piano voice. Preferably 88 key and as piano realistic as possible without buying an actual piano (no room for one)
My understanding is good electronic pianos get pricey fast. Creating the artificial action and the weighting doesn’t come cheap.
Most are MIDI capable so you can get them to play just about any instrument you want. Naturally quality digitized instruments aren’t cheap either…
I bought an 88 key MIDI controller, that is Piano weighted, runs off your PC, but you can put it away as opposed to a full size.
I also play a 61 key Yamaha keyboard I bought at a yard sale for 35$,with stand, this is unweighted,
Bothare fun and under 200$ bucks, check it out,
@ Trashy, check it out, I can run the 88 thru a Tablet, of course then into my mixing board and then the sound system,
but you need all that really, this is what I have
https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/Keystation88–m-audio-keystation-88-keyboard-controller
Don’t need
For the record, Sweetwater is an awesome company. They knock themselves out to be helpful. We visited their HQ in Fort Wayne, got the grand tour, and had a great time.
Yep. I bought Spawn 2 her bass from them and was astonished at the level of service. The dude I talked to still follows up.
Amazing.
Sorry, local guitar stores, your employees are fucking assholes.
I had an M-Audio board like that, but the software won’t run on Windows past XP.
try using ASIO, it will fix your issue
Electone?
Heh that was my immediate thought.
He says he only wants it for piano, but let him fart around on one of those for half an hour and he’d change his mind.
We had an electric organ in the 70s – dayum that thing was fun. Though I could live if I never hear my mom’s bossa-nova version of “Fly Me to the Moon” again….
I would love to play one now, or even open it up and check , hell archive the Electronics,
They don’t make em like that anymore,
/Leslie speaker………………………..
I’ve got one i bought for next to nothing but it needs some TLC. I think some of the slide pots for volume etc need replacing. It’s Italian made and from the ’70s so it’s a fun electrical puzzle. When I first brought it home I got as far as blowing out 40 years of dust and mouse turds, and giving it a quick test. Yours for the price of shipping it about 6000 miles!
/fills in for Ted
So you think it needs a little TLC ?
That song is distinctly unaspirational.
“Don’t challenge yourself or dare realise your true potential in the pursuit of waterfalls! Play it safe and be content with more easily navigable bodies of water!”
It’s like a Dem anthem.
“Stay on the reservation, peons! Don’t get any big ideas of your own! Leave innovation to the Top Persons who will plan it accordingly!”
Yusuf, you might enjoy the Muff Wiggler forum. Electronic focused, but seems to have people with a wide range of instruments and interests.
It’s a special place. In its own way, it kind of resembles this place.
muffwiggler.com
exactly, that’s why I also have this,
https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/ImpactLX25P–nektar-impact-lx25-keyboard-controller
Synths!
Interesting. And about 30x cheaper. ?
I own about 5 real Synths, but this thing has a bunch of knobs, and whatnot, and with a DAW
I can use all the capabilities of both, and they only get more expensive, at which point I would say get this,
https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/Sub37–moog-subsequent-37-analog-synthesizer
And the obligatory link
https://youtu.be/Yp5HpjhKHKs
The question is if you want something that responds like a piano or just simply a keyboard. As Yusef mentioned you can get a MIDI controller with piano weighting, but those are a far cry from a true artificial electronic piano.
My Software begs to differ, True Piano through my system crushes, but yes, you can spend 3 grand on a real nice dedicated one, I don’t need it me self,
/I’m a cheap bastard
Hrm…A music thread…not really my thing.
https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/IKLkZ9wGSZSzz0uG32ANug.BkvGREqCL_PmuGjuBLj3nm
Looking for advice for my gf. This silver Martin saxophone came from DeadAunt.
It’s been sealed away for quite some time. It dates back to 1922/1923, I forget.
It’s in very good shape with some tarnish. It’s only missing the piece that clamps the reed down.
She wants to sell it. Does she do it as is or get it refurbished first? And where should she sell it? Any advice appreciated.
I’m useless on sax, but generally find a used instrument dealer. They would refurnish it as the good ones have a warranty when they resale so they would want their repair people to do it.
Something that old is going to need all the pads replaced and the keys gone through. I’ve no idea if that model is worth that kind of cost.
Talk to Sloop, Seriously, he will know,
I asked a guy on the Jimmy Sturr orchestra these questions, thinking he could help. Nope.
Just when you think polka musicians are helpful…
I Know that name, I actually listen to polka every Saturday Morning on the radio!
The reason I said Sloop is that he is an Auctioneer, has to have a good idea of what it is worth and how to treat it for the best return,
But he talks too fast and his gavel is startling.
This silver Martin saxophone came from DeadAunt.
Isn’t “DeadAunt” the lyrics for all the parts of the Pink Panther song?
What, no love for “Maxwell’s Silver Saxophone”?
My eyes lit up when I saw this post. Unfortunately, looks like I missed the pre beginner one. I’ll give it a shot later. Thanks, Plisade.
Mammary Monday is patient zero.
http://archive.li/jvQpZ
Hawt
Nice! Thanks for posting this!
It must be fate, or kismet.
I played guitar (a Dreadnought-style acoustic) four decades ago, and was recently eyeing some sub-$500 acoustics to try to get back into it. Main problem? The beginnings of the family curse — osteo-arthritis in my hands. It’s not bad now, but it never gets better over time. If I re-started guitar, I don’t know how many years I’d get out of it before I couldn’t play anymore . . .
I’ll bet you anything playing keeps it at bay longer.
What have you got to lose?
I played yesterday for the first time in six months, Guitar, Bass and Ukulele, it was great, no pain, everything still worked liked it should,
Get a Guitar! start Playing!
That’s my issue as well. But if I can get a few years of enjoyment out of it, it’s worth it.
I can read about science or history or philosophy, but trying to read about music makes me feel dyslexic. As a person who writes I have of course written lyrics and talked to musician friends about them, even sung them how they should go. Then they start talking about music stuff and they turn into Charlie Brown’s teacher.
This. I want to know it, but, ya start bringing in numbers and adding ‘depth’, for lack of a better word.
I know music is a language of sorts, and is based around…what, Italian? But, octaves, tones, partial notes, flats and sharps….how the hell would I know? At least, with English, we don’t have things like “5th J”, or, “Quarter T”. (Yes, yes–silent letters, long & short vowels, etc. I get that.)
Plus, guitar? Forget it. I’ve tried, and even have Rocksmith and the extra special Epiphone Jr. (*eye roll*), but, ain’t no way these finger tips are able to play on that. And, while I would like a larger guitar, I have other things to spend my money on. Like drums…someday.
/Yes, the language of music still applies to beats..
Beats, that’s something I can get. One musician friend noted how my lyrics match up with numbers, yeah, because that’s the only way I can get it. And you know my IRL work, in a certain genre of music the average um movement? Is about 17 secs, that I can get, and have used that as a shortcut in my own work.
Music theory is Toxic Priviliged Cishet White Male Imperialist Racist Colonialist Climate-Destroying Transphobia. Where’s my University paper?
Don’t be such a lying, dog-faced pony soldier!
Listen here fat!
Watch it fat! Or it’ll be push-ups in the yard! No Malarkey.
Go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox!
You muthaf–!
I love capitalism.
https://www.redbubble.com/people/sugarmootz/works/44813558-lying-dog-faced-pony-soldier-2020-vote-for-me-at-least-im-not-joe-biden?p=t-shirt
I like this one
https://www.redbubble.com/people/sugarmootz/works/41177435-corn-pop-2020-joe-biden-joke-campaign?p=t-shirt
I gotta admit; I do love that Corn Pop shirt.
But, I gotta dance with the one who brung me…
Oops–I meant the other one.
Tell your mom I play guitar.
And Paw Patrol is insidious pro-capitalism propaganda, at least in one idiot Canadian academics mind.
Damn privatization advocates!
Holy shit, apparently this is an entire subgenre of Marxist idiocy.
Mike Pfeil
@mikeFAIL
Replying to
@CBCLondon
my son watches paw patrol and now he runs around the house screaming “fuck the working class”
*swoon*
The SoCons warned me all you your types were pedos!
Thanks plisade. Ill show to my son who, by all accounts, takes to the guitar like a duck to water. His musical ear is amazing and has atarted to really learn the fret board.
On dad update, CT scan to find extent and treatment of his throat cancer. Cancelling all future business trips so I can be available.
Ugh, sorry dude.
Have they done a PET scan?
Not yet. Still waiting his first appointment. Im sure its all VA and medicare since he pissed away his million dollar general contracting business
Again, sorry.
If you can advocate, it would be good to see the extent of the cancer.
Good luck.
Sorry about your dad. Best wishes.
Just bookmarked it. Played guitar in a punk band as a kid. Did about ten gigs for beer before the band broke up when I hit our drummer across the head with a bass guitar.
Picked up a fender a year or so ago. Turns out it’s pretty slow going trying to relearn. Doesnt help that my hand has been broken twice and the tendons of the middle finger slashed by a student with a box cutter, back when I taught.
Still fun to noodle with. Glad for this article. Always meant to learn the theory aspect.
Anger management much?
This is the good stuff I never learned.
Most guys want to play a tune they know; in my day it was: what’s on the radio. Today you can play a CD or a compressed file over and over.
I believe that the guys who are ever going to be above average have a solid feel for intervals. They may not know the circle of fifths, but they have this intuition even with a new song that they know, once they’ve heard two chords, what the third chord is going to be for most blues, rock, and country tunes. There’s names for all that stuff (pentatonic minor scales?), but this I know: Americans want to play China Grove, not Happy Birthday, so, here are some free thoughts about how a newbie can start to feel his way around the fretboard.
You can learn to Mel Bay your way through Little Brown Jug, but that never got anyone laid. You hear a cool tune and get a sense for what the first chord is, but the song moves on before you can figure out what the chord is. Oh, you can google the tabulature these day? Okay, but you won’t learn a sense of the fretboard that way for several hundred hours. My way you learn the shapes, the ranges on the neck, and the blues scale just paints itself into your mind so that tasty solos just seem to pour out of you in a I-didn’t-know-I-could-do-that way.
So try this: just make a barre chord and slide it up the fret until the tone matches. Newbies learn chords at the neck (first position). What’s a barre chord? Well, E in first position is the shape of the chord, but realize that the nut making the barre for you. If you can refinger to make an E without your index finger, you can (per the excellent explanation above) slide that shape up a fret to make F so long as you can use your index finger to barre across the first fret. Aha: all I need is the clamping power to barre all the way across the first fret, slide my E up a fret, and I’ve got F; kewl. If you barre at the third fret, it’s a G, and so on until the 12 fret when you’ve circled ’round the octave to E again.
So you can find and name the three or four tones in a tune and then Mel Bay your way back to first position to do the old strum and hum. Found something that sounds like the barred G? Cool: just play G in first position: same tone; or play the barred G, but you might not have the hand strength for it on day one.
The sound’s kinda like G but not really? Try Gminor or G7 or something: if that ain’t it, the song’s too hard for your paygrade and pick something easier and come back to the midlevel tune later or, okay, google it.
First position A is the beginning of another barre chord; like before, slide that puppy up a fret and barre across the first fret behind it and you’ve got A# (we’re both musical geniuses at this point . . congrats) . So you can play A in first position like the chart sez, or you can barre at the fifth fret and make the E shape per our first example, or you could barre at the 12th fret and use the A shape (okay, just sliding A up an octave, you caught me).
But the low E string is making a weird now when I barre and make the A shape? Yeah: don’t play hit that low E string for this shape; just damp it with the tip of your barring (index) finger; the slightest touch will silence the dischordant (see what I did there?) tone.
So now you can from these barre shapes ID the chords you’re hearing and play them wherever you want on the fretboard so long as you’re pressing hard enough to get a clean tone from all desired strings. You’re Making Music! (TM Roy Clark). And these barre chords are leaving tracks in your mind: those shapes include the notes of a scale you can solo with/over; there’s a little more to it than that, but not much. Go ahead: google blues scales and see if it doesn’t remind you of all the E-shapes and A-shapes your pal Don was telling you about.
Someone please correct my vocab and usage; I never really learned, but the story goes something like this. Pentatonics probably has something to do with five? Well, to reconcile this huge tangent to Plisade’s more formal effort, here’s the 411 on the blues: 1, 2, 4, 5, or I, II, IV, V if you pay for the class. . . . most songs use three chords from this set. I think 1 is the root and the name of the scale, and then you want to find the “second” “fourth” and “fifth” of the root. The second position A (that E shape played when you barre the fifth fret) is the root, the tonic, the daddy and namesake of the A scale. B, two frets up per Plisade, is the second. Now for the sauce: don’t slide the E shape to the 10th fret for D, the fourth; instead, barre across the fifth fret and then add the A shape: sliding A up five frets makes D no matter what shape you start with or where you are on the neck . . . ’twill always be true. Then, you guessed it: slide this shape up a further two frets to make E.
So there you have the Power Chord shapes. For the A scale, it’s played simply by barring the fifth and seventh frets only: A and B you barre six strings and add the E shape; D and E you barre the bottom five strings, snub the low E, and add the A shape. Bang bang bang: back and forth, short moves between chords, and, if you set the overdrive to 14 you can screw up half the fingerings and it will still sound cool. That’s all a Power Chord is: sloppy fretting; you can play along with a real guitarist or with the CD on pretty much anything from Smoke on the Water to Rocky Mountain Way by just flailing the top two strings of your barred chord; billions of dollars have been made by “guitarists” who couldn’t do a lick better than this.
So what would the G scale look like? 1, 2, 4, 5 = G, A, C, D and are played on with barres on the third and fifth frets [same a A scale, just two frets lower, of course]. Now knock yourself out anywhere on the neck to make any pentatonic scale you need.
What about minors? Shockingly, they will look like Eminor or Aminor, just slid up with the barre again. Presto. Learning to mix and match major and minor shapes (sounds/chords) is the point.
That, friends, is probably a full fourth of what I know about guitar, and it’s a good start to learning what the chords are in the tune you’re listening to, to playing the real tunes you wanna play, to playing along instantly without already “knowing the song”. . . .unless your girlfriend is hot for Little Brown Jug, in which case I think you’ve got bigger problems on your hands that your guitar challenges.
I did a bit of that, also used songbooks with chord charts that were expensive when your 17, But then I got Queen Complete, and self learned basic theory, I showed my Godlike guitar playing Brother, and he finally respected me, true story,
AND PSA! This should go direcly below the Article, the info in here is as valuable, Great job! Don
you’re kind
My other guitar tip is shorter: cheap instruments lead to bad habits. A $3,000 guitar is ten times better than a $300 one.
I’m not putting 3 grand into something I’m probably gonna quit after a couple months. Rent one?
My 600$ Tele is ten times as good as anything out there,
Fight me…..
Quality
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/paw-patrol-encourages-kids-to-embrace-capitalism-1.5455625?cmp=rss
Maybe these kids can develop some real critical thinking and make up their own minds. That’s what that moron is afraid of. They actually might defy indoctrination.
His 2 year old isn’t allowed to watch it. He has “internalized” his father’s feelings about the show.
I posted this shit first, you bastards
Fine, you win 12 internet points.
We all agreed never to acknowledge things you post. There was a meeting about it and everything.
You hear about the guitar player that went to prison as a sex offender?
He’d been fingering minors!
/be here all week
SexaFender, THE hottest axe on the market!
/pedifile!
I have never played an instrument.
I am interested in learning to play classical acoustic guitar.
Any recommendations for a starter guitar?
Look at these.
Otherwise, hit Craigslist. So many people buy them an never play.
A red one.
With lightning bolts, of course.
Bitches dig lightening bolts. This guy gets it.
I’ve got an Alvarez CY140 exactly like this.
Memphis has an open championship, and a very good friend won it in the 1980s. I bought that guitar for $600 in those days; it’s easily worth twice that, so I’ve lost only a little after inflation.
My plans might change with the nerve damage I’m fighting, but mostly I save this guitar for, oddly, Willie Nelson and Jimmy Page tunes. Willie plays gut-strung, so, in standard tuning, it’s just fun to get exactly the right sound for, say, Whiskey River.
Jimmy has all these odd tunings, and I just don’t keep enough guitars around to dedicate one to him or put up with the trouble of going back and forth. The classical is easy to tune quickly, but mostly I leave it tuned to D G C G C D: HERE’S WHY
thanks
I would bet you could get a great Alvarez for $300. Ignore finish condition: get the best model you can afford.
I picked up an older, shabby looking Alvarez from a small instrument repair shop for $50 a couple years ago. It’s beat up looking but sounds good. Even a couple of professional musician friends have played it and remarked on how good it sounds.
I bought Geddy Lee’s big beautiful Book of Bass, Awesome stuff, he bought many beat down Basses for the playability and sound, good job finding a good one!
One of my best friends growing up is a fantastic guitarist that a lot of other good guitarists look up to due to his ability. He’s got a bunch of electric guitars, but the one he plays the most, by a wide margin, is one he made from parts of other scrapped guitars. He told me he’s got about $300 total invested in that guitar, and he makes it sound fantastic.
Geddy’s played a lot of basses and makes them all sound good, but I’ve always been partial to his Rickenbacker.
I play P Bass, that’s a term, I also play another Fender bass the G29 acoustic Electric, short scale Bass, I shred on it like a lead guitar, and lead guitars players I know shred on it better.
/ Lead guitar players don’t play Bass well, this is known
Pawn shops, Martin, Fender, Gibson, Ferrington if you see one, play them and see what feels good
Led Zeppelin 3, I learned so much from that one,
CGCGCE
Music notation makes me irrationally angry. It is 12 steps to the octave, so why shoehorn it into a base 7 system? Also, who the fuck uses base 7?
Why use letters at all? Just use the frequency. A is 440 or 220 or 880 or etc.
UCS?
I suspect part of it is the result of the times during which musical notation started taking shape. Surfaces that you could write on (vellum, parchment) were stupidly expensive, and creating a true 12-step notation grid would have used more space on the page. Mo space = mo cost.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
You’ve also got your pick for what base you want to use.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equal_temperament
In classical music and Western music in general, the most common tuning system since the 18th century has been twelve-tone equal temperament (also known as 12 equal temperament, 12-TET or 12-ET), which divides the octave into 12 parts, all of which are equal on a logarithmic scale, with a ratio equal to the 12th root of 2 (12√2 ≈ 1.05946). That resulting smallest interval, 1⁄12 the width of an octave, is called a semitone or half step. In modern times, 12-TET is usually tuned relative to a standard pitch of 440 Hz, called A440, meaning one note, A, is tuned to 440 hertz and all other notes are defined as some multiple of semitones apart from it, either higher or lower in frequency. The standard pitch has not always been 440 Hz. It has varied and generally risen over the past few hundred
OK Ted………..
Having fun
Because the seven notes predate the chromatic scale.
Y’all speakin that Faggot Langage agin? we’s talkin’Moosic Yea
The Black keys are the Devils tones, really, hence,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTHBEbivfZI
Black Sabbath, the Devils tone,
A varies from 438 to 442, subtones FTW!
It varies more broadly even than that. A good place to see tuning and temperament issues over time is the pipe organ.
Equal temperament is a crime against psycho-acoustics and music generally. Check out some of the ‘well tempered’ as opposed to equal tempered Scale layouts. It’s all about where and how you handle the mismatch between 7 tones, 12 tones, and the remainder on the cycle of fifths.
Dylan should never have gone electric!
Somebody from Vox took a wrong turn and vomited up this steaming pile of Marxist claptrap.
I’d argue that it’s an example of a blind squirrel and such. They’re absolutely right. If you redistributed all the wealth, people are going to make decisions with it and people who make poor decisions are going to end up losing it and people who make good decisions will likely gain.
On the flip side: I wish I could find it, but there was a mini rant by some type-a VC/investment banker saying, basically, “you fucks want communism? We are masters of learning the rules of the game and using it to our advantage – you think you’ll be in charge but me and mine will still end up in positions of power and you’ll be even worse off.”
Nah. He’d end up against the wall if there was a real revolution. Now if there’s just a standard slow decline like we’ve had for the last century or so, then he’s right. I mean, he’s already right. That’s how things are now with regulatory capture and rent seeking behavior.
Not me. I’m getting a full body brick and mortar tattoo. They’ll all miss.
We nuked Japan once….
Just Say’n
Individuals, sure, but the morally-flexible type-a folks who end up in those sorts of jobs will have no problem mouthing a whole new set of lies and moving up in a different system. It’d mostly be the same type comprising the inner party and today’s “revolutionaries” would be up against the wall soon enough.
That’s a big part of the reason we have upwards and downwards wealth mobility now.
And after that happens, you get the tired but true saying of: money and power always find each other. Then entrenchment into the power, corporatism, more concentrated wealth, repeat ad nauseam.
But let’s grant the state more power to battle the people who own them.
Blarg.
These are exactly the kind of people that I want to see win a large lottery (the marxist. And, fuck capitalizing that). They think they wouldn’t change with money/resources, or, would change many things and people for the better.
In the end, though, they will fuck up their lives due to not understanding wealth.
I would like to test whether or not a large windfall would change me.
If that happens, let’s talk investment strategies.
. . . people who make poor decisions are going to end up losing [their redistributed wealth] and people who make good decisions will likely gain.
Précisément, mon ami.
You were reading Vox?! Did you lose a bet?
No, I was just guessing that’s where that person was headed before he took a left turn at Albuquerque.
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/q/why-playwright-yolanda-bonnell-asks-that-only-people-of-colour-review-her-play-bug-1.5456383
I think Derp has colonized her brain.
Now do “whites only”.
I’m going to canonize the first journalist with the balls to ask anything like this.
As in, “eating whites only”?
‘Cause….damn.
No problem.
*skips racist dipshit’s play*
She’s just covering her ass if nobody shows.
is it big?
There is a specific lens that white settlers view cultural work through
See a lot of wagon trains these days, eh?
I have no problem skipping her plays.
They will not divide us! Rheeeeeeee
https://medium.com/s/story/paw-patrol-is-a-republican-dystopia-f178161fce54
Question: Are they called Medium, because they fancy themselves clairvoyant, or, because that’s the best they can achieve?
I’ve always wanted to learn how to play Stairway.
Denied!
What happened to Tia Carrera? I loved (looking at) her.
She got fat. So the tolerant left stopped hiring her. (just guessing, still a wood)
Nooooooo!!!
That’s what happens to Pacific Islander chicks. It’s an Iron Law.
You shut your whore mouth. This picture reached back through time a killed erections from decades ago. I want my hot Tia back!
*sends Chafed blu-rays of Wayne’s World I & II*
I got to play it once, most people do the NO STAIRWAY thing, like Mad mentions below, but I found some willing souls,
People Fucking Freaked out! we were like what? OK Cool….
2 years later, in another 3 piece, we did Dazed and Confused, the 26 minute live version, for real
OT: Pooh Bear masked up
https://youtu.be/CeipPkk7dFo
@Tres, I just saw your comment. Made me laugh for the first time today.
I’ll repost this here for the late nighters, got notified today that new job (at least the orientation) starts next Monday. I’ll see if I can get a new cartoon in for this month before then in case all that lame work stuff gets in the way, but I can’t promise anything.
OK–will keep an eye out, and you… Well, just do what you can, as well as, what you’re paid to.
Telecaster > Vince Gill: Liza Jane
I have 4, all different, my Kramer/Ferrington is #0379, Blackie, someone asked how much today actually, I love him so much I said 600$,
i don’t want to sell him,
Bored? Caption contest.
https://imgflip.com/i/3otjvh
Puke N Rally is more fun than Rally driving.
That’s just you on your way home from “work”, isn’t it.
Not a puker. Been a couple decades.
“Corona virus claims another victim”
“Not in the helmet! Not in the helmet! Not in the healllurrrrgh!”
“A dog soon returns to his owner’s vomit”
Dog: I guess I picked the wrong week to stop eating vomit.
*? thunderous applause ?*
Sometimes I watch videos on youtube about ‘What FOREIGN COUNTRY X thinks about Americans” And they talk about the stereotype of ignorance. Yet every person I’ve met from a foreign country and asked about what they think of aspects of their own country’s history has been met with a “What are you talking about?” Most of them have been young foreign exchange students. But for fuck sake when I asked a girl born in Germany in 1992 about which side of cold war Germany her family had lived on she looked at me like I was referencing some obscure thing.
“But… Americans don’t have passports” despite not living a hop skip and a jump from three foreign countries.
I also wonder which Americans these foreigners talked to.
Yeah, I’ve traveled tens of thousands of miles, but all in the US, so no need for a passport, not a great measure of travel.
according to Google maps, i traveled 9,390 miles in 2019, 39 cities, all driving from job site to job site, why does this matter?
Google kept track of me the whole time, Hmmmmm
I don’t have a phone that tracks me, or at least doesn’t give me the tracking information. for 2 1/2 years I did a round trip to Vegas 3 times a year, that’s not even counting other travels I’ve had.
I use Maps, so they know where I’m headed, but Location turns off, they don’t ned to know where I’m at at that point, just where I end up, know what I mean? Tricky bastards….
Ugh but that’s all boring white people.
I tried to convey the scope with a French lady friend who was here visiting, that the distance from here to DC is bigger than the distance from her home town in France to Brussels and that she conceded on that point that she wouldn’t want someone that far away to control every aspect of her life. But then going back to ignorance of history, after she spent a year here she went to Whales and was wondering about her new environment and I talked to her about how Wales was where the pre-Saxon British got pushed back to after the Saxon invasion, she was decidedly uninterested.
In America, 100 years is a long time,
In Europe, 100 miles is a long way,
I’m going to Vegas for my Wendy Ritual tomorrow, 102 miles, 100 minutes, one way,
try that in Europe, or Cali
Exactly. It’s 100 miles round trip for me to go to: Wendy’s, Chik-Fil-Et, Popeyes…But that’s less than hour if I want to. To get my college degree I did a 120 mi roundtrip for every day of class that I had.
Peace, bro.
I drove a 5-ton cube doing deliveries for awhile. The South route has a stretch called “The Summit” and the Western one has a place called “Hungry Hill”. Guess how much fun that was in the winter when the truck has a governor and GPS tracking on it? It literally wouldn’t go faster than 60 mph. Wonder why we never made quota on those routes?
200 miles straight shot South, 200 West with all the stops in between. 12 hrs South, 14 hours West. In the summer. In the winter? One of the worst jobs that I’ve ever had and I could give Mike Rowe a run for his money. It paid alright but they couldn’t keep a driver on for some unforeseen reason.
The willing couldn’t pass a drug test?
Probably. They roped me in because I was a good floor worker and had a driver’s licence. It was hellish.
Bill Cosby had a great bit about this.
He said “don’t feel bad because they can speak 11 different languages. Because over there it is only a half hour drive, or a two hour drive to go from one language to another. In the United States, you can drive for 8 days and never reach another language.
But I can speak Alabama. ‘Hey, ya’ll c’mon over hyah. Yeah, all ya’ll.” And I can speak Boston. I bet that fancy guy from England can’t speak Alabama. “
I’ve been to Florida when I was young, but only been to 7 states, the Euros have no idea How Fucking Awesome we are, WE are YUUUUGE! the Chinee Commies have as much land, but their system is so fucked up they can’t make it stick together like us Capitalist Pigs,
America, Fuck Yeah!
I’ve been to New York, New Jersey, Connecticutt, Massataxes, Vermont, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia*, Delaware, North Carolina, South Carolina*, Georgia*, Florida, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas*, Texas, Oklahoma*, Missouri, Kansas*, Illinois*, Indiana, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, so 22/29 visited of 50.
*drove through.
You know, I might be able to collect all fifty.
Technically, Illinois may be eligable for star removal, as I did visit a college friend while there, which is about on par with the time I spent in Florida visiting the least impressive cave I’ve seen.
I think I’ve been to around 40 states. Nothing in New England above Maryland, I don’t think I’ve been to Louisiana, and no Alaska or Hawaii. Granted, most of that was traveling through with my dad in his truck, not actually vacationing or visiting.
You’re not missing much.
Honestly, the western states have enough Geology and Beauty to keep me busy for the rest of my life, even after I become a Toaster..
So far, I’ve managed to find something worth looking at in every state I’ve been in.
No issue with the other states, it’s just Bigger, and the geology is exposed to see and explore, I love it, views for Miles….
But the you’re missing most of the glacial stuff. That is what drove a lot of scientific discovery. A lot of Wegener’s theory about drift came from striations from the glaciers.
So you’re pining for fjords?
I never cared for The Swedish Chef.
Look at “Harrison Fjord” here, makin’ jokes and the like! We’ll be parroting this conversation in no time.
Harrison Ford did indeed attend college in Wisconsin, oh, you were making one of those lowly puns.
I’m not concerned with Glaciation, it doesn’t effect the direction I’m going, the timespan is way too short,
The striations were exposed by the retreating glaciers,
I could spend is the rest of my life vacationing in the American West. Denver to Albuquerque to San Diego to Seattle. The Cascades, the Rockies, the Sierras. Deserts and mountains. And the Pacific Coast.
Fuck, I travel that territory for work and I never get tired of it. Might be heading out to Wyoming, soon.
I’m not particularly interested in the rest of the world. I’m not incurious; my mind and heart are blown by the West.
Bingo!
All kidding aside, that’s a part of the world I’d love to visit. I’ve only seen it from 30 thousand feet up. Pesky DHS…
Festus, today, just the large passing clouds set up an odd quality of light to the sky, but only in certain places, and all the mountains were different colored than usual, very cool, come visit…
Tell the shitbirds you’re with us and fuck off slaver, Festus.
(Maybe not actually do that. Don’t want to end up in a Constitution free rape cage. Fucking CBP.)
You’d love BC. It’s a wonderland.
I’ve only been around Vancouver, which is pretty much the same as Western Washington & Oregon.
You can drive 13 hours along the shortest route from one end of florida to the other, and never leave the state. Key West to Flora-Bama in the panhandle is over 13 hours.
Meanwhile, Istanbul to Prague is 18 hours and you cross 8 different countries and probably half again as many languages.
People in Europe are just like people everywhere — more-or-less obsessed with their own life and their own immediate problems, and with very little historical context or “worldly” understanding. The more “aware” Europeans I’ve met in 30+ years of travel have all been in their fifties or older (with the exception of those who work in the hospitality industries, who seem more aware of the world and their own situation even when they’re fairly young). For most of them, the legacy media shapes their thinking just as much as it does most people in North America.
I have two great disappointments in my life. #1 I never Fathered children of my own. #2 I have no innate musical ability. They say practice makes perfect but I’ve tried and the “Gladwell Rule” just does not apply to either of those problems…
Did your wife come with step-kids? I thought you mentioned kids before.
I never wanted children of my own until my step-girls started having them. My Dad said that it was because I was lazy. Kind of a cuntey thing to say.
He wasn’t half wrong.
I don’t know if practice makes perfect in the baby making department…. but it certainly doesn’t hurt.
If you want to get good at guitar, listen to my epic Spotify playlist “Jangle Noise”. https://open.spotify.com/user/egould310/playlist/20QahoaMym4xptW1UNzNpk?si=KiUk4Y38RZKx-qD4T9MuEQ
Over 12 hours of guitar based rock n roll From the 50’s to tomorrow. Rock, psyche, jangle, twee, shoegaze, surf, powerpop, punk, C86, noise. Your bored ears will be licking the back of your eyes in pleasure.
Here’s some other punky powerpop. The Exploding Hearts: Jailbird https://youtu.be/VQ-Vy7TvGSA
Will check it out, since I don’t want to unpack yet, my system is bare bones, so I play to a lot of tunes to keep in shape, my own and others,
12 track mixer to power amp to my Smaller speakers, it’s nice..
http://archive.li/GZCL3/d1adde8551eff0f25a5a20203b5f87d0e80d02fa.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/lwWpt/7e40e38cd511db1081ed64745379fbd6aac32ff0.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/rMUtD/1ca886e4c2f16815b328ceaf33763c51a780f08c.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/YIRXQ/d2fabc523daf4d2b34fc039c4cf06eb3f08f192a.jpg
NSFW.
#1 but the horseflies are gonna eat her alive.
Lol. ? I like the way you think Festus.
She looks like either the fun bags sprung a leak or the gravity generator got turned up a little higher.
I feel terrible missing the Oscar’s.
https://nypost.com/2020/02/10/political-correctness-at-2020-oscars-exposes-hollywoods-hypocrisy/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPOpinionTwitter&utm_medium=SocialFlow&fbclid=IwAR0ey5OyercmUKDAgF5nQ4-ta-PYdJtG-G2YbgYQ8ievXDkAnlrsv4mrJ8I
I’ve never given the slightest flying fuck about those smarmy asshole circle-jerks.
I had a film-nerd roommate for years who of course watched it – if not for that I would have never tuned in for second of that shit.
“… smarmy asshole circle-jerks.”
Pithy. Accurate.
That’s funny. My best friend loves movies. The only time I watched the Oscars was when we lived together.
It’s a shame Ricky Gervais didn’t live tweet it. That could have been comedy gold.
“Was that wrong?”
RAAAAACIIIST!!!!!!!
I thought bird flu was the last one.
^this makes my brain hurt
Who are you to mis…sentiate? luggage!
Did they get paid to write that?
Right? “You had one job!”
The only surprise is they weren’t alive and slowly suffocating.
The package says, “This product is only suitable for dogs and cats”.
Good point – I didn’t catch that the writing on it is obviously Japanese.
Still… blerg. I feed my cats pate. Not feathers and legs.
Ooh–Mr. I’m-too-good-for-feathers-and-legs kitty cat!
No. It was like those dehydrizing packets that you find everywhere, “Not for human consumption!”
Bella to the Left of me,
Kittah to the right,
All I’m missing is ,
My Wendy tonight,
Lyrics 101
One of these dividing poll questions they use for headlines I thought up when I was still working at the radio station, that everyone there gave the wrong answer to: When eat a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich, does the jelly go on the top or the bottom?
The top, duh. Peanut butter is impervious to all substances and you don’t want the bread to get wet.
You’re leaving your sandwiches sitting too long.
Wait…Rhy, are you saying you PB both slices of bread?
Plus, UCS has a point. I make PB&J for lunch every work day, and the bread doesn’t get soggy after, what, 5 hours.
Honey, on the other hand, soaks into the bread and forms a hard crystal crunch.
Gravity, bruh.
But…if you keep it PB-side down, and the jelly can’t penetrate the PB…no soakage?
Either. If you think there’s a top or bottom, you’re wrong.
That’s why europeeings thinks we’s unsorfisticad!
If consumed promptly, you’re not going to have any issues either side up.
If you’re leaving it sitting, the jelly will soak into its bread even when on top.
Also, a joke about gay sex would have worked for this response.
My mind doesn’t go there naturally.
What are you some kind of homophobe?
People like me are terrifying.
Oh, you meant the non-phobia non-definition of the term.
You’re thinking of Peanut Buttigeg and jelly sammich.
There’s something wrong with you.
I’m not the one who doesn’t know the top from the bottom.
Gravity is a social construct
*floats away*
WTF kind of jelly are you guys using that it’s soaking through your bread? WTF?!
The cheap jarred “grape” jelly.
Yeah, ^THIS^.
http://www.welchs.com/products/jams-jellies-spreads/reduced-sugar/reduced-sugar-concord-grape-jelly No soaking through.
Artisanal jam.
Oo LA la
The actual answer is the jelly is to be eaten at the bottom of the sandwich. Now I get why people complain about peanut butter sticking to roof of their mouth, because they’re idiots, EEEEDEEOITS!
It only get stuck to the roof if there’s no jelly.
Plus that’s one of the tactile benefits of having a peanut butter sandwich. Something other sandwiches don’t do.
Mojo’s XY has already solved this problem. You need to use a hand mixer and spray jelly around the kitchen for the best sammitch. This is known.
Really? I’ve had several sandwiches in my life, where the bread did, in fact, roof-stick. Kinda depends on the softness of the bread.
Or, were you saying PB doesn’t? Because….well, I don’t know how to finish that sentence.
Have you thought that it might be the way you chew?
Chewing doesn’t enter into the picture at that point. It’s all in the actual bite.
I mean, pretty much any soft bread, when it hits saliva in any significant amount, sticks to the interior/gums.
No, not a sticking-to-the-roof-of your-mouth thing; a savory, THEN sweet thing.
First, the PB, THEN the jelly.
Pb…and J. Pb on bottom like the up and coming mayoral candidate sans president and Jelly on top like Horse face fats.
See this here nimble finger? *Sticks in OBE’s jar of Jiffy up to second knuckle*
Ya ya…i saw it.
Is that anything like ‘First brother’? If not, it should be–especially for dojos and the like.
Ok I larfed! Fucking Straff, bringing the harmonica pussy!
Top, had one tonight..
Same here, in about 2 hours.
::fist bump for Bob::
Fuck! 50 comments on PBJ? we need lives kids…..
I’m waiting for the dryer to finish so I can hang up the shirts and have something to wear at work tomorrow.
And, I’m drinking water, to
wash the bread out of the roof of my mouthkeep myself hydrated.😉
I’m switching between porn tabs and Glibertarians. Multitasking.
This guy gets it.
“Why not both?”
Who said the Dems were tiresome dullards??
ANTI AMERICAN! Oh, wait, it’s where?…..
So she’s going after Joe for the comedy frontrunner position? Needs some original material. Joe already made a dog joke yesterday.
The same Warren who dropped in on a diner and got ignored by the patrons?
Warren’s job interview
That was a really bad movie.
Glad I skipped it, then!
You won’t see the full glory of Rex Manning in the movie though.
I saw Grease 2 (what–it was big on cable the years we had it!), so I’m good.
That’s Rico Sauve-esque. My ex BIL, Rick, used to pull up his shirt, stick his belly out and dance around singing “Ricoooo! Slooobbbayyy!” Terrible cultural appropriation but funny as hell.
I laughed
I can’t decide whether to laugh at her or scream at her in a furious rage, “Fuck Off, Ms. Warren! You can’t tell me what to do anymore!”
Pence doesn’t evoke “dog” at all. Unless she’s been doing things to her dog that leave them catatonic.
He’s more like the little bronze statue of a doggy that Grandma uses as a door stop.
Young people suck.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp4lVjHoQJc
Sounds like they’re spitting more than sucking.
Spit, suck, slobber. Whatever they’re doing, the song is worse that their haircuts.
This will clear that garbage right out.
https://youtu.be/pxHl3gr-WMM
Better.
I think the soundtrack is supposed to be pretty great but what would I know? I like this https://youtu.be/68MKLkNSMN4
And this
https://youtu.be/dJ8T5e_FSP8
I knew that was the original and I just didn’t care. That chick is cayute. Speaking of which, the coyotes are singing a merry tune outside, tonight. Gee, wonder why we never had foxes and coyotes around here when I was a kid? Could it be the lack of little shit-lords with 22’s? We didn’t actively hunt them but squirrels and grouse were fair game.
Bunnies, too.
I like both. It’s a his and hers versions. Hmm… wonder if someone has mixed them together…
“There are some who call me….Timm.”
An act of political violence shouldn’t be politicized?
Not if you’re on the right. If you’re on the left it’s totes okay.
“Bike-locks are not a part of your patriarchy!” she exclaimed while braining her political opponent with a two-pound bike lock.
You’re on fire tonight.
It’s pretty random. Much like my synapses.
Nice deflection there, Duval Democrats.
Do these people not hear themselves?
Nice spelling, too.
“Politized”???
“Timm was charged with 2 counts of aggravated assault on a person 65 years or older, criminal mischief and driving with a suspended license.”
Age-dependent assault? WTF?
Forget it, Mikey, it’s Floridatown.
It’s more penalty-enhanced. Attacking an elderly person and/or juvenile gets you a harsher penalty in most states (if not all). The idea being that these ‘communities’ are at a disadvantage when it comes to self-defense, or, something like that.
Just like, in Texas at least, there is agg. assault, and agg. assault-family violence, which applies to just about anyone who has any relationship to the perpetrator, and has spent any time in their house, or vice versa*.
*I’m kidding, but only a little, on the house thing.
I was going to ask that myself, also dude ‘Plowed’ through a tent full of people and no one got injured? That is some shitty driving right there.
You could be effective defense counsel, Hyp. That is probably going to be asked at trial, with the same disbelief coating said question.
Given the probable weather conditions and the fact that they’re doing public outreach, I’d wager it was a tent roof with no walls, so his approach was visible, and there were ample route out of the way.
I’m just saying that if I were going to plow through a tent someone’s is at the very least going to have some scrapes and bruises.
Chafed, can I get a strike on Hyp during voir dire? He thinks way too clearly.
Don’t get me wrong–pretty sure this is the guy who put lives in danger, and should be held accountable. That said, Hyperbole would make effective counsel.
He lost his gig as an imperial Stormtrooper.
This is the most brilliant thing I’ve read in…well, ever.
?
You flatter me. M’Lord.
Hmmm…I heard it gets me nowhere.
Ah, the age of the headband wearing songbirds.
I have to wonder if she picked that look, or, was guided into by handlers, et al.
Complete lack of self-awareness.
https://twitchy.com/dougp-3137/2020/02/10/just-like-us-jane-fonda-who-flies-to-dc-weekly-to-get-arrested-protesting-climate-change-shows-off-ethically-harvested-gold-and-sustainable-diamonds/
I read that and “ethnically harvest gold and diamonds”.
*as, dammit
Nice. And probably close the truth.
^So much this^
https://youtu.be/oqwZzuOXYPU
And I’m out
Part of me wants to hate her for the Commiie cunt that she is but other parts of me that still work want to judge her for Barbarella https://youtu.be/0Xo6FaypcpY
With special guest star David Hemmings as “Dildorama”! You can’t make this shit up, people.
I watched it again a few months ago. That flick is a stone cold gas, man.
It was pretty groovy, Man. Far out, even!
The source of Duran Duran’s name–Duran Duran
/the irony!
Looks like a return of insomnia. I just took a sleep aid, so hopefully it will kick in soon. Gotta go to work tomorrow.
I’m askeared of going back next week. I’m not sure if I’m mended but I’m specially sure that I don’t wanna. Getting too old for this.
I stayed home today because I’m still coughing a lot and don’t want to spread it.
BTW, the biopsy came back: benign.
Yippee!!! That’s fantastic news!
Uhh…not the coughing. Just thought I should clarify, because…Digby.
Hoorah! That’s the first bit of good news on this board for awhile. Yay!
Benign is good.
True story: my spouse’s poorly educated mother, may she RIP, was telling him the news of a family member who’d recently gotten a biopsy.
These were her exact words: “They thought it might be cancer, but it was just maligned.”
Bless her heart.
Oh, dear. Can’t even snark on that one.
/I mean, someone could have maligned that clump of cells, and it would be a factual statement.
There’s some sense in it by accident. If you call a tumor “Cancer” and it turns out to be harmless, then it was indeed maligned.
Yes, ^this^
Mom used to mock extended family members about their lack of decorum. Davy and I would just hide our giggles. Don’t teach your kids mockery lest they turn it against you.
You’re just too riled up after the brilliance of that stormtrooper comment. And, being among us.
One-Of-Us!
I ponder why some biblical names stayed as is, like Ezekiel, but some got “Europeanized, like Johann, Zachary, etc.
Jacob turning into Iago in Latin, then morphing into James as well as still being used as Jacob is the oddest one, at least to me.
I’m afraid I wouldn’t know anything about that.
*ahem*
ISWYDT.
??
As soon as I get some unclaimed land, I may upgrade titles even further.
What is “Digby”, Latinized? “Diggus”? “Diggus Dickus”?
Maybe a form of ‘excavo’?
“Excavo” sounds like a Harry Potter spell.
And, maybe a naughty one, at that. ?
“Diggus Excavo!” and the earth was consumed by a passing worm-hole. Hate that kid.
Now, ‘worm-hole’ is a positively disgusting word!
I’m guessing there won’t be a British monarch after Elizabeth.
Another royal divorce: Autumn Phillips asked Peter Phillips (son of Princess Anne) for a divorce and wants to move back to her native Canada with their kids. Brits are getting sick of this shit.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7988769/Queens-eldest-grandson-Peter-Phillips-SPLITS-wife-Autumn-12-years-marriage.html
You think they’ll go that far? I suppose it’s possible, but, given the history of monarchs everywhere, and, in England, especially, is this enough to do them in?
They probably won’t go that far. But they might follow Sweden’s lead and cut most “minor” royals out of public duties and titles, keeping only the immediate line of succession and all children of the reigning monarch.
Hmmm…good idea/point!
How the hell is Klobuchar still in this thing??
::adjusts tin foil hat::
Maybe there are MSM/Dem operatives scrambling for any Dem to take out OrangeManBad. Any port in a storm, and all that.
She appears to be least insane? Butt-plug is going down, Sanders hit a high note, Biden is dog-soldiered and Warren keeps telling everyone not to eat paste. Fine bunch you’ve got there Dems. Shame if a Hillary ever happened to it!
::severe shuddering::
I think she is unknown enough that people don’t know what a horrid little entitled beeyotch she is yet.
I could see this coming down to Bloomberg with Klobuchar as running mate. Barf.
Oh, Bloomers…if DTJ is smart, or, has anyone with a clue involved in his campaign, he will hammer home all the stupid shit Mikey has done in NY (soda tax/size queen shit, etc.) and point out how he’s done things differently.
“Michael Bloomberg tried to tell New Yorkers how much soda they could buy at a time. I’ve never told you what you could drink, or, how much.”
/something like that
Oh, I can certainly see that happening.
I’ve not watched the debates or seen her on talk shows, I did happen to be house sitting way back when she announced and watched that. She came across as personable enough, I certainly don’t agree with her politics but I didn’t get the ‘bitch’ vibe. I heard the stories about her being mean to her staff but honestly they sounded like disgruntled whinging from former employees, and I haven’t heard much more since the initial reports. So, I don’t get the vitriol towards her, has she gotten nasty during the debates?, or is it a thing her local constituents are aware of ?
That’s a certain loss. I’m of the hope that the Dems are regrouping and writing this one off so they can rid themselves of the crazy. Ah, fuck that, they’re Thelma and Louise. They want to watch the world burn…
People have forgotten that “likeability” is one trait that fence-sitters use to decide their votes, even though it has (almost) zero to do with the candidate’s capabilities to do the job.
Reagan vs Carter
Reagan vs Mondale
GHW Bush vs Dukakis
B Clinton vs GHW Bush
B Clinton vs Dole
GW Bush vs Algore
GW Bush vs Kerry
Obama vs McCain
Obama vs Romney
Trump vs H Clinton
Every. Time.
Which is where we derive the motto that people get the government they deserve–good and hard.
Yep. Everyone has a friend like Donald. He’s an asshole but he throws the best parties. Parties like you wouldn’t believe! Let me tell you about Donald’s parties…
I imagine they would be really boring if Donaldo was the one actually throwing the party. I see him more as a guy who just got invited to the best parties, or if he did throw them, have much needed help in all the key areas.
I’m tried to figure out which of my friends that is and worried that it might be me when I couldn’t come up with anyone else, But I never throw parties so I’m good.
Or, starve. Or, freeze to death/die of heat stroke. Whatever–so long as everyone gives to the State.
Moleman: “But I want to give to State!”
I ffs. You’d think they’d be a little more careful with this.
“ First US evacuee from China to develop coronavirus was MISTAKENLY released from San Diego hospital after initial test was negative as it becomes 13th case in the US as global death toll tops 1,000”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7989545/Evacuee-Wuhan-treated-San-Diego-confirmed-coronavirus.html
Styxy seems to think that about 3 or 4% of us are doomed. DOOOMED! Fucking guy acts like he wishes it would happen.
Man, first, Orson Bean. Then, Kirk Douglas. Now, SD got Corona-person runnin’ loose.
It’s like “Omega Man” but I lack the under-bite to pull that role off.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2020/02/10/class-war-south-philadelphia-residents-unsettled-after-vandal-spray-paints-anarchy-graffiti-on-dozens-of-homes/
Trump’s Amerikkka.
Alternate headline – “Bernie Sanders launches ad campaign in Philly.”
https://www.buckscountycouriertimes.com/news/20200210/need-some-presidential-swag-trump-store-in-bensalem-has-got-it
Trump’s Amerikkka – Part deux.
In what state?
PA
Speaking of Philly (a shithole)…
https://www.fox29.com/news/police-woman-charged-in-connection-with-brawl-double-stabbing-outside-chickies-petes
She falls on the wrong side side of the hot/crazy matrix.
Yeah but did she make sweet love to any of her stude– oh never mind.
Under no reasonable formula should chopped olives constitute a quarter of the volume of my premade salad. Seriously, this is absurd.
UCS, here’s a link to menu & reviews of the restaurant I mentioned yesterday that’s pretty close to the Air Force Museum. As to why they don’t have a dedicated website in addition to their Facebook page, my only guess is that they stay as busy as they care to be without going to the trouble and expense. In fact, while you may be OK as a “walk in” for lunch, I’d recommend making a reservation for dinner.
And speaking of salads, my usual go-to is their Southwest Salad since I went low-carb and regretfully gave up their pizza. I did NOT, however, give up their ice cream.
Thank you.
I’d offer you this heap of olives, but you’re too far away.
Green or black?
Black.
Definitely preferable, but better on pizza than on salad.
Now do E7#9b5