Rough Monday Afternoon Links

by | Feb 3, 2020 | Daily Links | 291 comments

I’m having a rough Monday. Not because my team lost, or because of excessive alcohol consumption. No, my rough day is mostly due to my guts rejecting the approximately half pound of cheese-based dips I consumed yesterday. I was not a happy camper from about 1:30 in the morning until about 9:00. I’m better now. I guess all that cheesy goodness has been expelled. Anyhow, trying to get myself back to something like productive. You guys are not helping.

I don’t think this is helping Joe Biden’s reputation.

Looks like online Nazi is another content area people aren’t willing to pay for. Lol. Fewer than 60 people/month willing to pay for the Daily Stormer.

A classic “we got ours” anti-growth campaign.

Which one of you is this?

Have a nice little drinking story. I wonder if any of those bars are still open…

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

291 Comments

  1. ChipsnSalsa

    Brett L wouldn’t survive Wisconsin.

    • Pope Jimbo

      One does not simply survive Wisconsin.

      In addition to cheese, you must learn how to incorporate brandy into any cocktail.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      The troubling thing is that it wasn’t his granddaughter.

    • Charles Easterly

      “So that’s how it is in their family.”

      Twas my first guess, the scene to which you provided a link.

    • R C Dean

      Eh, its a thing in some cultures/families.

      Now, I’d be creeped out if he sniffed her hair.

    • Spudalicious

      At least he didn’t slip her the tongue.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Cue the tolerant people dancing on his possible grave.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        No shit.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Your wish is their command. From https://apnews.com/8b8f014e633d4ac0bffc991d48457c7e

        ‘Limbaugh has frequently been accused of hate-filled speech, including bigotry and blatant racism through his comments and sketches such as “Barack the Magic Negro,” a song featured on his show that said Obama “makes guilty whites feel good” and that the politician is “black, but not authentically.”’

      • Rebel Scum

        hate-filled speech

        This is just speech that 1) offends leftist’s delicate sensibilities and 2) is politically opposed to what leftists want.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        AKA humor…

      • Ted S.

        a song featured on his show that said Obama “makes guilty whites feel good

        That is, of course, true.

      • Chipwooder

        Then there’s this dipshit:

        Rick Wilson

        @TheRickWilson
        I just heard the news that Rush Limbaugh has advanced lung cancer.

        I’m going to show you how this should be done:

        I wish Rush a speedy and complete recovery from his cancer.

        Human being pro-tip: don’t wish cancer on *anyone*…even on your adversaries.

        34K
        3:03 PM – Feb 3, 2020

        Goddamn, where would I be without Rick Wilson to show me how it’s done???? What an overinflated jackass.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Who the fuck is Rick Wilson?

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        He’s a brave, staunch, rock ribbed conservative that CNN trots out when they need a brave, staunch, rock ribbed conservative to tell their audience how terrible Republicans are.

      • The Hyperbole

        He’s the guy that along with Don Lemon made fun of people who are proud of being unsophisticated hillbillies for being unsophisticated hillbillies.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        So, a nobody.

      • The Hyperbole

        A nobody that pissed off a bunch of unsophisticated hillbillies.

      • The Hyperbole

        That’s some pretty weak corpse dancing, just give it a few hours I’m sure some idiots on twitter will give the conservatives all the reasons they need to fuel their outrage.

      • Florida Man

        I prefer nightmare fuel to outrage fuel.

      • Chipwooder

        I’m happy to oblige

      • Florida Man

        AHHHHH!
        *claws at eyes*

      • Charles Easterly

        “I’m happy to oblige”

        I, for one, am not going to take your offer this time, Chip.

      • Chipwooder

        Cmon, Charles, whaddya afraid of? I promise, it’s not as horrfying as, say, a SugarFree story.

        Not quite.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        “Barack the Magic Negro,” Was coined by a Black writer for the L.A. times, Rush just picked up on the theme,
        Liars gonna lie…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No surprise. He likes his cigars and he’s sedentary.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Most people don’t inhale cigars do they? If he’s one of the ones that does yeah, no surprise.

      • Chipwooder

        Not like they do cigarettes, but most of them do end up inhaling at least some smoke.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        “Yeah, I smoke cigars, but I don’t inhale the cigars. You don’t inhale those. William F. Buckley inhaled his cigars. I kid you not. That was a real man. Mr. Buckley inhaled his cigars. Now, he didn’t smoke ’em all the time, but he was very proud of it. He’d blow smoke rings. He’d exhale smoke. He loved them. But he inhaled the things. I’ve never done that. That would change the entire experience.”
        https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2013/02/22/two_health_tips_to_start_the_day/

      • Spudalicious

        Inhaling cigars is how one dies.

  2. Brasidas

    Police budgets are not infinite. Not all of the informants could donate to Daily Stormer.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      What’s the over/under on the number out of that 60 who were law enforcement?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Half

        That still leaves 30 Nazis that are going to take over the country.

      • Pope Jimbo

        How many of the 30 “true” Nazis were in positions of leadership?

        That was the real problem for LEO’s. They were all in management jobs. And the real Nazis sucked at following directions.

        “Look, I told you assholes to show up at the gun rally in Virginia and start shooting. What did you do? Drive to fucking Minnesoda to hang out with some snowback who just crossed the border and then you all get arrested.”

      • Juvenile Bluster

        They were all law enforcement. Just that half of them were there because they truly believed and the other half were informants.

        There’s a really fucking high proportion of law enforcement in those groups that are true believers.

  3. Rebel Scum

    “I just want to say that you’re a fine candidate, and I’m planning on settling for Biden in 2020,” said the man wearing a “Settle for Biden” shirt. “I think we should all settle for Biden. I think you could be the Hillary of 2020.”

    *sensible chuckle*

    • Mojeaux

      That’s what every man wants to hear: Yeah, I guess. If you’re the best I can do, I’ll have to live with it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *clicks*

      I wouldn’t pee on her, but she could manipulate me anytime.

      • The Other Kevin

        Know who else manipulated people?

      • PBRstreetgang

        My chiropractor?

      • Brochettaward

        Your penis, right? She manipulated your penis?

      • Tres Cool

        Neilsen TV Ratings ?

      • C. Anacreon

        The courtroom sketch makes her look African-American.
        Nothing like the way she looks in the photo below it.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Whore lies to a John. Dog bites man. My question is does this hurt him? The charge is basically that he extorted sex but this seems to make it seem like it was consensual even if sick.

    • DEG

      The hairdresser also told the court that she gave the disgraced movie mogul her phone number five times and asked him if he would meet her mom – after she claims he raped her.

      If I were a juror, I’d vote to acquit him of rape charges after hearing that.

    • Pope Jimbo

      So, if I’m reading this right, she was basically putting out for money/favors.

      She probably channeled her inner stripper and told him to make it rain. Weinstein being a sociopath just pissed on her and told her it was raining.

  4. The Other Kevin

    Apparently there is talk now of Hillary being vice President. I just picture The wicked witch smiling, nodding, and rubbing her hands together while the princess takes a bite of an apple.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Some VPs are assassination insurance. Others are assassination guarantees.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I have to believe that a Warren/Clinton ticket would not get a single male vote. Even Pajama Boy would vote for Trump because those two are too shrewish for his taste.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Somebody is always beta/desperate enough to castrate themselves.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Nope. If that was the ticket, you’d start to see Nullos For Trump yard signs everywhere.

  5. Brochettaward

    Why liberal white women pay a lot of money to learn over dinner how they’re racist

    Across from Campbell-Swanson, Morgan Richards admits she recently did nothing when someone patronizingly commended her for adopting her two black children, as though she had saved them. “What I went through to be a mother, I didn’t care if they were black,” she says, opening a window for Rao to challenge her: “So, you admit it is stooping low to adopt a black child?” And Richards accepts that the undertone of her statement is racist.

    It’s a hell of a racket.

    • The Other Kevin

      I wouldn’t even need to be involved. Just hire some unemployed gender studies majors to run the sessions (should be plentiful and cheap) and watch the dollars roll in.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just take any innocuous statement and interpret it in the worst possible way. Walla, $$$.

      • C. Anacreon

        Later, they can teach how everything proves Climate Crisis® and nothing disproves it.

    • Brochettaward

      And The Guardian uses TRUMP to raise money:

      America faces an epic choice…

      … in the coming year, and the results will define the country for a generation. These are perilous times. Over the last three years, much of what the Guardian holds dear has been threatened – democracy, civility, truth. This US administration is establishing new norms of behaviour. Anger and cruelty disfigure public discourse and lying is commonplace. Truth is being chased away. But with your help we can continue to put it center stage.

      Rampant disinformation, partisan news sources and social media’s tsunami of fake news is no basis on which to inform the American public in 2020. The need for a robust, independent press has never been greater, and with your support we can continue to provide fact-based reporting that offers public scrutiny and oversight. You’ve read more than 12 articles in the last four months. Our journalism is free and open for all, but it’s made possible thanks to the support we receive from readers like you across America in all 50 states.

      On the occasion of its 100th birthday in 1921 the editor of the Guardian said, “Perhaps the chief virtue of a newspaper is its independence. It should have a soul of its own.” That is more true than ever. Freed from the influence of an owner or shareholders, the Guardian’s editorial independence is our unique driving force and guiding principle.

      We also want to say a huge thank you to everyone who generously supports the Guardian. You provide us with the motivation and financial support to keep doing what we do. Every reader contribution, big or small is so valuable. Support the Guardian from as little as $1 – and it only takes a minute. Thank you.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        All 12 of those articles were about Demi Rose. Right?

      • SDF-7
      • Rebel Scum

        much of what the Guardian holds dear has been threatened – democracy, civility, truth.

        I agree. Democrats have been quite worrying in their quest for power.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Freed from the influence of an owner

        Bullshit.

      • Chafed

        Wow. Just wow. I hadn’t heard about that.

    • Chipwooder

      Oh this is that Saira Rao scam again…..figures.

      Rao and Jackson believe white, liberal women are the most receptive audience because they are open to changing their behavior. They don’t bother with the 53% of white women who voted for Trump. White men, they feel, are similarly a lost cause.

      Well, yeah, they’re the only group of people stupid enough to pay money to have people come to a dinner and berate them nonstop.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I think Saira Rao was calling in on the gamergate stuff. This must be her new racket.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Cashing

    • Gadfly

      Our modern flagellants are so much more sophisticated than in the past.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s really cultish.

        I just don’t understand the mentality.

    • Fatty Bolger

      FFS. Well, I guess that racist bitch better give those babies back, then.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well no duh. How can those black kids grow up with an authentic African American experience if they are forced to live in nice home in the suburbs with two parents?

        Think of the problems they will have when they are adults and trying to fit in with their peers in the African American Studies department in college? They might be so fucked up that they don’t even major in African American studies and do something crazy like major in accounting or a stem field.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Kmele
      @kmele
      Officially opening my own franchise. All checks must be made out to “cash.”

      Limited-Time Offer: For just $1,500 more, I’ll smack you w/ a sack of quarters (right after they serve the delicious Apple Crumble
      ?)

    • Gender Traitor

      A white woman volunteers to host a dinner in her home for seven other white women – often strangers, perhaps acquaintances.

      The Mary Kay party from Hell. (Actually, Mary Kay parties are already from Hell.)

      • Mojeaux

        Speaking of Mary Kay, I saw one of those cars the other day.

        I have never seen a more disgusting color on a car than that stupid Mary Kay blush pink.

      • Gender Traitor

        Home sales parties in general are a particularly heinous form of hazing that women inflict upon one another.

        With the possible exception of the ones selling lingerie and sex toys.

      • Mojeaux

        I was a child when my mom explained the whole home sale thing to me.

        “Wait. They invited you to a party and you’re expected to BUY something?”

        “Yes. It’s the polite thing to do.”

        “Well, just don’t go.”

        “I can’t not go. It’s rude.”

        She took me with her. It was a jewelry party. The stuff wasn’t bad, but she bought the least expensive thing she could.

        The Avon parties were a little different. She likes a particular Avon scent and there was always a chance she’d buy me one of those kid things. I didn’t know for a long time Avon was a home party thing too.

        I was determined that if I was ever invited to one of those, I was not going to buy anything. I’ve been invited to several. I never buy anything.

      • Gender Traitor

        Far too many white women are pathologically polite.

  6. Rebel Scum

    Rule Britannia…

    The EU’s chief negotiator on a UK trade agreement, Michel Barnier, has said there will be no trade deal without continued EU access to British territorial fishing waters.

    On the day that Prime Minister Boris Johnson lays out his plans for a Canada-style free trade agreement, Mr Barnier has said that the UK must cross one of its own red lines by linking a deal to access to fishing waters.

    Mr Barnier told France Inter radio in comments reported by the Associated Press that “there will be no trade deal with the British if there is no reciprocal access deal for our fishermen”.

    He continued that “we will negotiate access to the British territorial waters for European fishermen at the same time that we negotiate access to European markets for British fisheries products. I hope I make myself clear.”

    European politicians had recently suggested that EU access to Britain’s lucrative fishing waters could be linked to a trade deal, specifically to continued access of the City of London to the EU’s financial markets.

    On Friday, the day the UK left the EU, Brexit minister Michael Gove has said that Britain will not trade access to her fishing waters in exchange for access to EU financial markets — but did not rule out selling access to fishing waters to EU countries.

    Mr Gove had responded with a blunt “no” when asked on Sky News whether fishing access rights would be traded for a financial market deal. However, the minister had said on Friday: “If people want to fish in our waters, we will decide. My own view is we can have a friendly relationship with other countries, we can regulate their access to our waters in a way that will work for everyone, but we’re in control.”

    • CPRM

      Can’t the fishermen just go to Britain and get a fishing licence?

      • Not Adahn

        What, with like sharp pointy hooks?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Europeans at least used to take their fishing rights seriously. One ‘move’ in an international fishing dispute that got out of hand happened in 1002 when English king Æthelred II ordered the killing of all Danes in England.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        Didn’t work out very well……

      • Donation Not Taxation

        It only seems that way to us amateurs. Infinite-D chess! 🙂

    • Gustave Lytton

      The pleadings of a vassal state continue.

    • libertarianjoe

      It’s like when you move to a new school, and your old bully asks if he can still have just a *little* bit of your lunch money, pretty please?

  7. Rebel Scum

    No need to mince words.

    President Donald Trump launched into various Democrats in a “lightning round” with Sean Hannity on Fox News Sunday evening. He ripped “Sleepy Joe,” the corruption of Hunter Biden, the fairy tales of “Pocahontas,” and “little Michael” Bloomberg. Yet the most memorable statement came when the president discussed Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-USSR).

    “I think he’s a communist,” Trump said of Sanders. “Look, I think of communism when I think of Bernie. You could say socialist, but didn’t he get married in Moscow?”

    The president immediately clarified that he didn’t mean to insult Moscow. “That’s wonderful. Moscow’s wonderful. You don’t necessarily think in terms of marriage Moscow, and it’s wonderful. I’m not knocking it.”

    “But I think Bernie sort of as a socialist but far beyond a socialist. At least he’s true to what he believes, that’s one thing,” Trump added.

    While Sanders got married in the United States he did honeymoon in the Soviet Union in 1988 — near the tail-end of the Cold War.

    • Chipwooder

      Oh, well, so long as it was only at the tail end……

    • Florida Man

      Lol. I don’t mean to insult Moscow.
      *wipes tear*

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sanders most telling moment was praising the bread lines in Sandanista Nicaragua as a very good and equitable way of distributing food.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Please have a citation for this. There are those who unfortunately dismiss Project Veritas’ work for not getting Bernie directly.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        “It’s funny, sometimes American journalists talk about how bad a country is, that people are lining up for food. That is a good thing! In other countries people don’t line up for food: the rich get the food and the poor starve to death.”

        Just Google the quote, I believe it’s on video.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Have you learned nothing from Q? Protonmail instead of gmail, DuckDuckGo instead of Google search, and so on.

        Bernie video @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJBjjP8WSbc

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Somehow got posted before getting in: Thanks, Scruffy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It doesn’t matter. I have a Pixel phone. Google already watches me masturbate.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        *cringes* Yes, YouTube part of Alphabet.

      • Brochettaward

        I get off on that. I love a captive audience.

    • Q Continuum

      Communist = Socialist = Progressive. It’s all branding.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Technically, they’re all just just different stages on the way to Utopia.

    • libertarianjoe

      I’ve heard this before about his honeymoon. I wonder – what would be modern day equivalent? Honeymooning in Pyonyang?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Venezuela

      • Gustave Lytton

        Venezuela?

      • Ted S.

        Cuba.

      • Rebel Scum

        Probably Venezuela.

      • Gadfly

        Has anyone mentioned Venezuela?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Surprisingly no, not yet.

    • grrizzly

      And as always Trump deliberately made a mistake that the media will have to correct while essentially repeating the point Trump was making.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yep

      • Sensei

        Yup. Works every time.

  8. Mojeaux

    So, Rush and his formerly nicotine-stained fingers.

    I haven’t listened to him since he started fellating Trump early on and had only listened sporadically for a few years before then. But I listened a lot in the 90s. He helped me find words to argue with liberals before I decided arguing with liberals was stupid.

    Then I got rather bothered by the hint of right-wing authoritarianism and went, “There’s something wrong with that, but I can’t figure out what.” Then I effortlessly and gradually slid over into libertarianism. Not sure how.

    But Rush Limbaugh lives in a nice corner of my mind.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He’s very good at reading politics.

      But he always carries water for the GOP.

      • Mojeaux

        But he always carries water for the GOP.

        Yes and at some point I went, “Wait. I don’t like X thing the GOP is doing because of Y freedom-taking issue. Whycome you no talk about that?”

      • Chipwooder

        He’s an entertainer who knows his audience, basically. Hey, it’s a good living if you can pull it off.

      • Mojeaux

        I loved “Spatula City.” It’s stupid. So, so very stupid. But it was funny.

      • The Hyperbole

        He lost me when he started to buy his own shtick, in the Clinton years he was hilarious with the parody song and the updates, but somewhere late Bush/early Obama he seemed to lose that humorous angle. Every few weeks I’ll tune in and even when I agree with him he gets tiresome within fifteen minutes.

      • Chipwooder

        I still listened from time to time, but the fact that it was 100% shtick became very clear in the second Bush term.

      • Fatty Bolger

        “even when I agree with him he gets tiresome within fifteen minutes”

        Always felt that way, even when he was funnier. Just too much of a blowhard for me.

    • Q Continuum

      He’s obviously a very shrewd businessman and he essentially created an entire industry. He was revolutionary in the same way Matt Drudge was. I personally find his voice so grating that I can’t listen to him for more than 10 minutes at a time, but I agree with Scruffy that he’s actually very good at political analysis; much more than his critics give him credit for.

      I anxiously await the ghoulish conga line of progs ready to start orgasming over his diagnosis.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Talkers magazine’s “The Man Who Saved AM Radio”

    • Rhywun

      I’ve never once listened to him. Or any talk radio*.

      *Does Howard Stern count?

      • Brochettaward

        Don’t be stupid, you moron.

      • Q Continuum

        Don’t be a moron, idiot.

      • Tres Cool

        you’re not my guy, friend!

    • AlmightyJB

      When Rush is talking about the United States in that Reaganesce Shining City in the Hill way, he’s great. When he starts with the insults, it’s fine the first minute or so, but a 10 minute rant of insults gets really old, even if it’s against somone I hate as well. He doesn’t know when to move on. I might catch a few minutes here or there. Now I can’t listen to Glenn Beck for even 2 minutes. The sanctimony and dripping wet sarcasm, especially when his sycophants jump in is nauseating.

      • Mojeaux

        I started listening to Rush as part of my job at a press clipping company in the late 80s. He was in Sacramento then. I got hooked.

        Then I was commuting a long way from work to school (university) during his broadcast hours and it was something entertaining to listen to. I graduated in 1995 and then my opportunities to listen went way down, but I listened when I could.

        When I had a baby I started working from home, but even though I was on my own schedule as an IC, I still couldn’t listen but every so often. I never made a conscious decision to STOP listening until the beginning of Trump.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        He explained Baseline Budgeting once, once my Head exploded, I became a Conservative, got sick of Wars on everything, and here weare,
        Thanks Rush!

    • Brochettaward

      I would like to see Bernie called out for his switch on immigration. I mean, there’s literal quotes of him calling open borders a Koch conspiracy.

      And Bernie only wants to nationalize healthcare and energy. That’s all.

      • Gadfly

        And Bernie only wants to nationalize healthcare and energy. That’s all.

        Who really needs the modern world, anyway?

    • C. Anacreon

      Well, Weigel always did great in his role as Shrike/Palin’s Buttplug.

  9. UnCivilServant

    Well, I got my new eyeglasses today (a week earlier than expected)

    I’m now in the stage where my eyeballs yell at me because the prescription has changed, despite everything looking 100% more clear. This, of course threatens headaches.

    • Not Adahn

      Hey, I’ve got a cunning and sinister plan to get you a pistol license.

      1. Bring your PCC or semi-auto .22LR along with five magazines (optional but really preferred) and 100 rounds of ammo (or more to be on the safe side) to

      170 Porter Corners Rd, Greenfield Center, NY 12833

      You’ll also need to bring $8. Be there Sundays at 10:00 am.

      2. Shoot the Steel Challenge practices that happen there and then.

      3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 for a year.

      4. Have four of the people you see every weekend shooting write your letters of recommendation for His Judgeness.

      • UnCivilServant

        That sounds like it involves… socializing.

        I’ll have to think about it.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Its just hanging out with overweight men with unattractive beards, questionable haberdashery habits, and a wildly out-of-proportion obsession with the minute details of their hobby where the arguments are so ugly because the stakes are so low.

        Basically, if you are into miniatures, you’ll be right at home.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        +1 Settlers of Catan gaming session

      • Not Adahn

        I’ve never actually witnessed a legitimate argument. Must be that whole “armed society is a polite society.”

        But yes on everything else. With the exception of the handful of women.

    • AlmightyJB

      Yeah, I’m due. Been using readers but need something better.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    A classic “we got ours” anti-growth campaign.

    Paywalled, but it sounds extremely familiar. There are a lot of people around here who would be only too glad to lock the gate behind them.

    • Mojeaux

      Here, as in where you live or here, as in Glibs?

      • Brochettaward

        *locks gate behind him and walks away leaving Mojeaux without an answer*

      • Mojeaux

        Awww you really do love me! ???

      • Brett L

        I feel like we only lock the Glibs gate AFTER the new guys come in. STEVE SMITH HAVE SPECIAL WELCOME RITUAL.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Of course, I’ve worked too hard to move away from the hoi polloi to have them move in.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ah, a Mosquito Coast kind of guy.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      We have that in our neighborhood. Development of land that has long been zoned for residential is being held up. Do gooders came to my door asking me to sign a petition to stop the development. I told them they should gather some money and buy the land if they wanted to stop it. To do otherwise is theft. And we were damn lucky there was nobody around to protest the construction of our homes. They looked at me like I shot their dog. They probably also wonder why housing is so expensive in the Bay Area and think that government should build more affordable housing.

      • Fatty Bolger

        California in general is nuts, it’s 1/4th desert, and yet shitty little homes in shitty little towns surrounded by miles of desert cost a small fortune. The median home price in the state is over $500K.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        California in general is, Fucking Awesome! it’s the politricks that ruined it…..

      • Chafed

        The only thing that will change the prices is a severe, prolonged recession.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Yup. People love them lots that abut city/county land that has been designated as park/green space areas. They crow about how they know that now they don’t have to worry about someone building there and “ruining” it for them.

        The evil part of me would love to see them start treating borders with “designated green spaces” the same as they do with shore line and taxing it like crazy.

      • Chipwooder

        I mean, look, if we’re talking about personal preferences……I agree with them. The area around my parents’ neighborhood was full of green, leafy spaces for almost 20 years. Not anymore – they started shoehorning developments, mostly townhouses, into every untouched parcel of land within a half mile radius of them because a Short Pump address is worth premium bucks on the market here. It’s THE premier wealthy section of the West End of Richmond.

        I liked the look of the area a helluva lot more when there were a lot more trees. So I agree. Where I disagree with them is the notion that the county government has any right to tell the owners of those parcels that they are legally prohibited from developing that land however they want.

  11. grrizzly

    In the land of the free for lunch. Unlike in the Los Angeles county, I didn’t have to ask for a straw in IN-N-OUT in the Ventura county.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Not yet.

    • DEG

      A sandwich shop near where I work went to adult sippy cups instead of handing out straws two or so months ago.

      Not too long ago they went back to regular cups and handing out straws.

    • C. Anacreon

      I”ve never seen any common practice change faster in the world — compare, for example, to the decades-long path from ‘smoke everywhere’ to ‘smoke almost nowhere’ — than the disappearance of plastic straws. They’re nowhere to be found in California bars/restaurants/hotels these days, except for those horrid paper things that wouldn’t even work to snort blow. The change happened virtually overnight and is ubiquitous; last fall in Croatia we couldn’t even find plastic straws. Thanks grade-schooler science project and the photo of the poor turtle who got lanced with a plastic straw (which was removed and it was essentially unharmed, btw).

      I always like a icy soda or iced tea through a plastic straw on a hot day. Guess I’ll have to carry my own or forever forgo that one of life’s little pleasures.

      • Winston

        I”ve never seen any common practice change faster in the world ….than the disappearance of plastic straws.

        Thanks grade-schooler science project and the photo of the poor turtle who got lanced with a plastic straw (which was removed and it was essentially unharmed, btw).

        Thanks goodness our social tolerance, modern education and modern science will prevent massive societal changes because of a loud minority, statist politicians, emotional propaganda and bad science.

    • Urthona

      Thought for sure that bs was over.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *does special retard dance*

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      I kind of liked the first season. Don’t @ me.

      (I didn’t watch the second season)

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I hate watched the first season waiting for the payoff.

        Then I threw my tablet at the wall.

      • Urthona

        Ditto

      • Fatty Bolger

        I made it through a few episodes before saying “nah, I don’t think so.”

    • Aus

      The lips are so fucking gross.

      Why do they do it? Who looks at that and says “yeah, that looks great, I’m going to get mine done too!”

    • Spudalicious

      2 and out.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Here, as in where you live or here, as in Glibs?

    Feeling guilty for importing all those Tulpae?

    Here as in Montana.

    • Mojeaux

      SOMEBODY has to recruit them to appease the STEVE SMITH god.

  13. Juvenile Bluster

    My anxiety is ramped up to 15 today. Gah.

    Apparently there are satellite caucuses this year for expatriate Iowans. Means nothing, but…

    Satellite caucus site in Port Charlotte, Florida has results as follows (135 voters at this site):

    1st round:
    Klobuchar: 36%
    Buttigieg: 28%
    Biden: 24%
    Warren: 9%
    Steyer: 2%

    re-alignment results (132 voters):
    Klobuchar: 42%
    Buttigieg: 33%
    Biden: 25%

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Special K is coming for you!

      • Rebel Scum

        Like an irate chihuahua.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        But she’s hideous!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Don’t encourage her. Even the local rags (the ones who goaded her into running) have come to their senses and aren’t running the usual Klo-Mentum! stories.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Your anxiety is probably cause by the satellite transmitting wifi into your brain. I suggest finding some way to put a thin film of ductile metal in between your head and the sky.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Listen to this guy, he knows what he’s talking about.

      • C. Anacreon

        I thought he was pre-med?

    • Q Continuum

      Any luck with the MMJ yet?

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Still waiting for the state to process it. Will be another week or two probably.

      • Florida Man

        Hopefully it will be legal for everyone next year

      • Juvenile Bluster

        It’s not going to make the ballot for 2020. Confirmed a couple of weeks ago. Focus is on 2022 now.

      • Florida Man

        Boo-urns!

    • Gadfly

      Apparently there are satellite caucuses this year for expatriate Iowans.

      Why? Is it for people on holiday, or are there people who move somewhere but don’t change their residency (which I didn’t think was allowed)?

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Looking at the locations (places like Florida and Arizona mostly) I’m guessing it’s snowbirds.

      • Gadfly

        That makes sense. Not living in a place that gets snowbirds, it didn’t even cross my mind as a possibility.

    • Chipwooder

      Thank God – there won’t be a Klobuchar staffer beaten to death with a stapler after all.

  14. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Waiting on the tarmac for them to fix the toilets.

    • Sensei

      Well shit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nope, not yet

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      This is why you unleash the toilet constrictor after take off.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ah, they’ve bypassed the pump motor. Now we’re going to rely on the pressure differential to eject our effluence.

      IFLS

      • Sensei

        So there is going to pressure to shit?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It will probably suck my asshole inside out.

      • Q Continuum

        HM’s new fetish.

  15. JaimeRoberto Delecto

    “Fewer than 60 people/month willing to pay for the Daily Stormer.”

    Why pay for it when you can just subscribe to Trump’s Twitter feed, right?

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      All the other regular readers are journalists and progressive hate-readers looking for material to quote on DU.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        And some FBI agents.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        The cops are the earnest white-nationalists readers.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      OH MAH GORD HAVING TO PAY TO ENTER A PUBLIK PARK WHATEVER WILL THOSE JACKBOOTED THUGZ THINK OF NEXT (you can pretend that ever other letter is lower case).

      or

      *laughs in public park permit to enter state parks in basically every state*

      • Sensei

        Correct. My guess is most parks don’t collect in the evening. Usually you’d camp and pay in the morning.

        Here the astronomy people were beating the system and the state wanted to put a stop to it.

        Just seems petty and like enforcement and management will eat up the cost.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        I don’t know about in NY, but most state parks I’ve ever camped in require reservations and payment ahead of time, or they just close as dusk and you can’t get in at all.

        I don’t see a problem with it at all, as both a very regular public park user and a very occasional star gazer.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        So you’re that guy in the bushes.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        I’m lucky if I can get into one at a time.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        I mean, aside from the fact that I think public land should be divested by the government if its only being used for parks.

    • Ted S.

      Do drugs fall out of your ass when you view the stars?

      • Yrgal Tidge

        He’s looking up, how would he know?

  16. Rebel Scum

    KC Chiefs are led by a white-nationalist.

    Chiefs coach Andy Reid says that if President Trump extends an invite to celebrate Kansas City’s Super Bowl win at the White House, he’s going to go.

    The Chiefs completed one of the greatest comebacks in Super Bowl history, en route to securing the franchise’s first championship in 50 years. After the game, Reid was asked if he would go to the White House to celebrate the win.

    “I mean, I’ll be there,” Reid said. “I’ll be there. If they’re inviting us, I’ll be there. It’s quite an honor, I think.”

  17. DEG

    “I just want to say that you’re a fine candidate, and I’m planning on settling for Biden in 2020,” said the man wearing a “Settle for Biden” shirt. “I think we should all settle for Biden. I think you could be the Hillary of 2020.”

    That is beautiful. I’d love to watch Biden lose and his supporters cry.

  18. Q Continuum

    Worst. Racist. Ever.

    “Gallup records double-digit increases in public satisfaction with the nation’s economy, security from terrorism, military strength and the *state of race relations*.” Emphasis mine.

    https://news.gallup.com/poll/284033/americans-improved-mixed.aspx

    The state of race relations (% satisfied) Jan 2017: 22%, Jan 2020: 36%

    14 point improvement.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Imagine how much higher it would be if only Obama would scold us and tell us how much we disappoint him on the reg.

    • libertarianjoe

      Well that can’t be right. I’ve been assured by my intellectual superiors that things have never ever been worse than they are now

      • C. Anacreon

        Yes, and that you shouldn’t have a baby now, it would be so cruel to bring a child into the present horror.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Of course it’s improved. All of the racists are happy because Trump and the roving gangs of white supremacists are putting the minorities in their place. \prog

    • Chipwooder

      It’s all just crackers feeling better about things

  19. Juvenile Bluster

    Ilhan Omar
    @IlhanMN
    Have we ever had an impeached President, deliver the State of the Union address while he is on trial in the Senate?

    Given the audience in the room will be both his prosecutors and jurors on said trial.

    I mean, it was only 21 years ago…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Look man, she wasn’t even banging her brother yet. How do you expect her to remember that?

    • libertarianjoe

      You can’t blame her – she wasn’t even in the country yet at the time

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      She don’t know much about history.
      Her brother taught her biology.

      • creech

        Bet she took “French.”

    • Gustave Lytton

      Hey, that was before she was a citizen or even graduated high school. No way for her to know that.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It involved old white guys who probably owned slaves.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Speaking of Omar..

      Omar’s family secured asylum in the U.S. in 1995 and lived for a time in Arlington, Virginia,[24] before moving to and settling in Minneapolis,[24] where her father worked first as a taxi driver and later for the post office.[24] Her father and grandfather emphasized the importance of democracy during her upbringing, and at age 14 she accompanied her grandfather to caucus meetings, serving as his interpreter.

      That would be in 1996. A year earlier her family was granted asylum. Her grandfather became a US citizen within a year of that or he was a non-citizen participating in domestic US politics? She certainly was.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      She tweeted that yesterday and hasn’t even bothered to delete it?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Why would she? She’s untouchable.

  20. Juvenile Bluster

    https://babylonbee.com/news/republicans-announce-plan-pretend-fiscally-conservative-moment-democrat-takes-office

    WASHINGTON, D.C.—During a budgetary discussion Friday, Republican lawmakers announced a plan to pretend to be fiscally conservative again if a Democrat takes office again in 2020 or 2024.

    The GOP said it would begin to decry deficit spending and the $20 trillion debt in order to win votes as soon as political power swung back to the opposing party.

    “The second a Democrat is back in the White House, we will once again start yelling about fiscal responsibility,” one Republican lawmaker said in an address to the House of Representatives Friday. “For now, we will continue to vote for unsustainable and irresponsible budgets that your children’s children’s children will still be paying for centuries from now.”

    At publishing time, Republicans further announced they would pretend to oppose giving Planned Parenthood a half-billion dollars year after year once they need conservative voters’ support to regain their offices.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Not satire

      • Q Continuum

        ^^^What he said.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        It’s good for the Bee to put in straight reporting every once in awhile. It keeps Snopes on it toes.

      • Chipwooder

        Sadly, you’re right. 100% accurate reporting there.

  21. Yrgal Tidge

    I went to Lee’s Barber shop today, for a nice cut, very cool, we all hung out and Bullshitted, for 2 Hours,
    Old school, old Men, like the olden times, and very un PC.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        every one of us was a Refugee, so we could relate to the tales we all told, and very, Conservative/Libertarian,
        We spoke of various drugs, and not a Copsucker in the bunch,

  22. Scruffy Nerfherder

    And now we’re deplaning because all the shitters are non-reliable.

    • UnCivilServant

      The twist? The plan ride was only a half hour long.

      /snark

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      New plane, new shitters, 2-1/2 hour delay

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Go long candle makers

    A state lawmaker is making a move to turn Pacific Gas & Electric into a public utility, a potentially dramatic shift that would end decades of corporate control over California’s largest power company.

    State Sen. Scott Wiener (D-San Francisco) said Monday that he would introduce legislation this week aimed at revoking the 115-year-old company’s authority to serve its territory and directing the state to assume control.

    “PG&E is a failed utility with a track record of prioritizing profits over safety,” Wiener said in a statement. “It’s time for a new start: A utility focused not on Wall Street and shareholder profits, but rather on safety, reliability, affordability, and ratepayers.”

    ——-

    Lawmakers passed a bill last year that offers PG&E a financial incentive to settle its existing lawsuits from wildfire victims, exit bankruptcy by June 30, preserve its efforts to meet the state’s climate goals and establish a governance structure that prioritizes safety. If the company does all those things, it can dip into a multi-billion-dollar state wildfire fund — supported by $10.5 billion from ratepayers and another $10.5 billion from the state’s three largest investor-owned utilities — to pay off claims for damages stemming from blazes that ignited after the bill took effect last summer.

    At an event last week hosted by the Public Policy Institute of California, Newsom described the bankruptcy as a “godsend” and “extraordinary opportunity” to recreate the utility. He reiterated his willingness to turn PG&E into a public utility and said the old company “no longer exists.”

    “There’s going to be a new company or the state of California takes it over,” Newsom said.

    Yes. Let’s pile a bunch of arbitrary conflicting requirements on them, and then act surprised when the grid crashes.

    And then blame everybody but ourselves.

    • UnCivilServant

      Candles are banned for failure to meet emissions standards.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        They are Paraffin……

      • UnCivilServant

        So? The CO2 emissions are beyond the required level of [negative current year * 1000000]ppm

      • Yrgal Tidge

        ARE, of course they won’t pass, only cow fat candles for Cali!

    • Gadfly

      “PG&E is a failed utility with a track record of prioritizing profits over safety,” Wiener said in a statement. “It’s time for a new start: A utility focused not on Wall Street and shareholder profits, but rather on safety, reliability, affordability, and ratepayers.”

      A new start?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Just ignore all of history with regard to government run businesses.

    • Rhywun

      What could possibly go wrong?

    • Yrgal Tidge

      They can have the Chinese run it, and when they can’t pay anymore, China can pick up a shiny new Port or something,

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t be silly, the reward for running it is unlimited liability for all percieved ills.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well at least they’re making it official now instead of pretending they weren’t run by the state.

  24. Aus

    So after begging for money, the NAHTZEEs couldn’t even get 60 people to donate.

    Yet according to the democrats, white supremacy is the greatest threat to the nation. Odd.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Wiener said his bill will “allow California to hit the refresh button and create a utility focused on the public interest.”

    The bill would establish a state power authority that would purchase all of PG&E’s assets and lead a five-year transition from investor to public ownership in consultation with the California Public Utilities Commission, according to an outline provided by the senator’s office. The new agency would be overseen by a board whose members would be chosen by the governor.

    And every one of those those board members will have real world experience and/or demonstrable expertise in generating and delivering electric power to millions of homes, businesses and factories.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      They’ll get Hunter Biden on the board?

    • Rhywun

      “Now with more rolling blackouts!”

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Do you want to have rolling blackouts because nobody involved in the business knows what the fuck they’re doing? Cuz that’s how you get that.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        They will just buy overpriced power from AZ, NV and OR. that’s how they always do it,
        why do you think power is so expensive there?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ahem, power from OR is expensive because the cheap hydro is earmarked for public utilities and commercial utilities have to pay more. Half of LA’s power comes from the Columbia River. I’m sure the unspoken logic is as a publicly owned utility they’ll demand the cheapest hydro rates and use their CA bully position to jump ahead of everyone, since there’s basically no unspoken for power.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Half of LA Dept of Water & Power I should say.

      • Chipwooder

        Sheeeeeit, there were “rolling brownouts” when I lived in Long Beach back in 2000 and we were the lucky ones. They were blackouts in other parts of the state.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        Exactly what I was talking about, those were good times eh?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yes, I remember. We had a 65 machine CNC shop at the time. That helped deal the decision to liquidate it

    • Winston

      I’m sure the board will be quite diverse.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        It’s electric justice.

      • Rhywun
    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      A five year transition. Like a five year plan? You’d think they’d have better marketing for this idea.

  26. Yrgal Tidge

    Watching China uncensored with Chris Chapel, i see a picture with Pompeo and Boris Johnson,
    Does Boris give a crap about his hair? it’s Always a mess, on purpose?

      • AlmightyJB

        Scolding Drones would be an excellent band name

      • Yrgal Tidge

        I like it…

    • Urthona

      He and I are spirit animals that way.

      • Yrgal Tidge

        I saw a cartoon with Trump handing Boris a comb….

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I think Boris just doesn’t give a damn:

      https://youtu.be/uVXjXmy8_Yk

      He shitmixes a kid around 4 min 20 sec or so. Good stuff…

    • Rhywun

      Boris’s hair and demeanor are a product of his “public school” education and privilege – being an “oddball” is something they strive for.

    • AlmightyJB

      Rob Ford lives on

      • Winston

        Uh, Doug?

    • Urthona

      She is an Anne Hathaway style hugeclops .

    • Gustave Lytton

      DQ’d for tatts.

    • Count Potato

      “My communications with Seth Rich? Are they expecting me to hand over a ouija board??”

      LOL

    • Chipwooder

      The left certainly loves to scream incoherently. Just like my kids did when they were three.

    • AlmightyJB

      Sad.

      • Rhywun

        ^This

        None of this is at all amusing any more, if it ever was.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I emote, therefore I am.

  27. Aus

    What. The. Fuck!

    Adam Schiff:

    “If Trump isn’t removed he “could offer Alaska to the Russians in exchange for support in the next election or decide to move to Mar-a-Lago permanently and leave Jared Kushner to run the country, delegating to him the decision whether they go to war.”

    https://twitter.com/DailyCaller/status/1224419427363573761?s=20

    • Yrgal Tidge

      Are they all this incoherent? do they believe the Shit that spews from there mouth?

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Some of them do. Some of them I think do it for the popularity, because they know #RESIST twitter will eat it up.

    • Rhywun

      LOL

      What an embarrassment.

    • Winston

      You know who else accused POTUS of being a Jewish Puppet?

  28. Spudalicious

    Damn, I just fell asleep in my chair for an hour. That was lovely.