Saturday night links of…pizza!

by | Feb 8, 2020 | Daily Links, Food & Drink | 687 comments

Basic margherita pizza with garden grown tomatoes.

 

It didn’t happen here, so fake news.

 

Pesto, pancetta, artichoke hearts, and kalamata olives marinated in lemon juice.

 

The best timeline.

 

Another margherita, a little more rustic.

 

I repeat. The. Best. Timeline.

 

Good ol’ Murhican pizza. Pepperoni, salami, sausage, onions, mushrooms and olives.

 

Maduro blinks, or a head fake?

 

Yukon Gold potato, asparagus, sweet onion, morels, and pancetta.

 

National Pizza Day PSA.

 

And lastly, truffle decadence. Yukon Gold potato, asparagus, sweet onion, Fontina and finished with a layer of black truffles.

 

Seems appropriate.

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

687 Comments

  1. Animal

    I’m a pizza traditionalist. Thin crust, red sauce, pepperoni and sausage. All else is pizza heresy.

    • Animal

      Also, first.

      • Spudalicious

        If I could, I would give you flouncy anime titties.

    • UnCivilServant

      … No Cheese?!

      BLASPHEMER!

      *Ignites Flamer*

      BURN, HERETIC!

      • Animal

        The cheese goes without saying.

    • Spudalicious

      Probably my favorite pie. Especially if you toss in mushrooms and olives.

      • MikeS

        Olives are from the devil and only a 1/2 step removed from pineapple as a pizza topping.

      • CPRM

        Are we talking black olives or disgusting green pickled olives?

      • MikeS

        Yes.

    • Rebel Scum

      Needs cheese, mushrooms and onions. Maybe green peppers as well. Anyway I put you on the good list for correctly and responsibly disliking Hawaiian pizza…and deep dish.

      • cyto

        I was firmly in the “there is no such thing as bad pizza” camp. I have my favorites…. and extra cheese is always nice… but deep dish, thin, hand tossed, Hawaiian, who cares… it is all good.

        Then I had the new fad where they put kale on the pizza. Maybe with a balsamic drizzle. WTF? Just no, people. Just….. no.

        Effing Kale?? sheesh.

      • Sean

        I could see the drizzle on a white pizza.

      • cyto

        Sure….. but with a bunch of Kale? Who the hell wants pizza with kale on it? Fresh kale, mind you… so it doesn’t even want to be there and keeps trying to fall off. Dumbest idea ever. Definitely for marketing to chicks. It is like pizza …. but with bitter, ill-tasting salad! So you know it has to be good for you!!

      • Sean

        Fuck kale. I tried to like it, but was unsuccessful.

      • Rebel Scum

        Add butter.

      • Rebel Scum

        And sweat in skillet as you would with spinach.

      • Not Adahn

        See Peachy’s comment about arugula.

        Putting bitter greens on a pizza is actually pretty great.

      • cyto

        Even if it is great… it still might be a man-card violation.

      • Not Adahn

        Oddly (appropriately?) enough, the first place I ever encountered rocket on a pepperoni pizza was a place in Austin on Airport road that I think might have formerly been a gay movie place. On the side of the building was remnants of paint showing two guys boxing with the words “Stallion Cinema.”

      • peachy rex

        In my defence – the rucola e prosciutto was a compromise with the fiancee. She wants greens on *everything*… and arugula is fairly inoffensive. It’s certainly better than kale.

      • peachy rex

        A local Neapolitan style place does a very nice arugula and prosciutto pizza – even I like it.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Yeah, salad greens are the only thing that’s a no go for me on pizza. Spinach is on the borderline.

      • commodious spittoon

        A local place offers “BLT” slices: Cheese and bacon, no sauce, baked and topped with house salad.

        I’ve never had it. That’s not pizza.

      • Grumbletarian

        Give me toppings: Cheese, pepperoni, sausage, ham, mushrooms, onions, green peppers. Jalepenos are optional.

        However, I will also eat whatever hawaiian pizza you guys don’t want. No deep dish though.

      • Sean

        Cherry peppers are superior to green peppers on pizza.

        *passes the jar of crushed red pepper to Grumbletarian*

    • Nephilium

      The local chain I usually order from does a series of specialty “rustico” pizzas. Thin crust, with the base ones being a sweet heat pepperoni, a duo pepperoni (two types of pepperoni), a margherita, and a caprese. Or you could build your own… but those four options are all awesome.

    • robc

      That, but pepperoni and black olive. Nix the sausage.

      • Spudalicious

        Literally, Hitler.

      • Rhywun

        My pizza doesn’t need anything other than pepperoni.

      • UnCivilServant

        So, you just throw pepperoni on the stone and call it ‘pizza’?

      • Rhywun

        Yes, that is what I do.

      • Not Adahn

        Stone grilled pepperoni sounds pretty delish, actually.

  2. Rebel Scum

    Tomorrow is National Pizza Day

    I was thinking of doing pizza night tonight. I suppose that can wait until tomorrow. But what to do instead… Seems like a good night for pork chops. *fires up the grill*

  3. DEG

    Explosions have rocked a Thai shopping centre where a crazed soldier executed 20 civilians in a mass shooting rampage before a brutal gun battle with special forces.

    This is why only the government should have guns.

  4. DEG

    Gorka added in a statement that the money will allow the GOP to invest more quickly in states Trump lost in the last election but hopes to win in 2020, such as New Mexico, Nevada, Minnesota and New Hampshire.

    So the GOP will take over the House and repeal Obamacare right?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Viking1865

      The GOP House voted to repeal Obamacare like 30 or 40 times. The Senate was Democrat controlled, and then when the GOP supposedly took control of the Senate, the Backstabbing RINO Caucus did their thing.

      If the GOP retakes the House in 2020, and Trump gets reelected, then they will vote to repeal, and Mitt Romney, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski will cross the aisle and save Obamacare.

  5. Rebel Scum

    The soldier has been identified as Sergeant Major Jakrapanth Thomma

    The duck-face selfie might be his biggest crime.

  6. Rebel Scum

    The Republican National Committee said it brought in a total of $117 million off online fundraising efforts opposing the impeachment of President Donald Trump from late September through Wednesday, gaining 1 million new donors in the process.

    *Nelson laugh*

  7. The Hyperbole

    Seems like a good place/time to remind you people to replace half the oil in your favorite pizza dough recipe with sesame oil. You are welcome.

    • westernsloper

      As well as a three day refrigerated ferment.

      • westernsloper

        I actually double the oil 1/2 olive 1/2 sesame and have even used all sesame before with good results. Adds an interesting flavor to the dough.

    • cyto

      Half? Good lord, that sounds like a lot.

      I’ve been making fried rice as a staple for the family lately. Sesame oil is kinda the secret ingredient. But it was tricky to get the amount right. Really easy to get too much.

      Then we went to the local hibachi place and I watched him make the fried rice. Only one container of oil….. hm…. They pre-mixed the sesame!

      With that trick in hand, my fried rice became much easier. The same might be true for making pizza dough. But the mix is nowhere near 50/50 for fried rice. more like 10%. Of course, rice uses a lot more oil than pizza dough, so maybe that’s the difference.

  8. Sean

    Tomorrow may be National Pizza day, but I’ll be grilling some porterhouses instead.

    They’re salted and sitting in the fridge right now.

      • cyto

        On a high-gluten thin crust with fresh buffalo mozzarella and portobello-horseradish marinara?

        Odd pizza choice… but I’ll give ‘er a shot…

      • Spudalicious

        You’re going to need something more substantial than a pizza cutter.

      • Mojeaux, trainwreck aficionada

        I don’t know what any of that means.

        “thin crust” … ?
        “fresh buffalo mozzarella” … ?
        “portobello-horseradish” … ?

        And we have already established I have no idea what marinara is.

        What’s difficult to understand about “big slab of hot yet almost-raw cow”?

      • UnCivilServant

        The “almost raw” part. It gains so much flavor by being cooked more.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, I don’t think we’ve actually ever met.

        I’m an AI algorithm inhabiting an androform robot. Therefore my conclusions are backed by pure logic and are correct.

      • Mojeaux

        Sheldon? Is that you?

      • cyto

        That’s why prime rib is so excellent. It cannot be bad – it is simply a cut of meat, heated to slightly above body temp. Just like a bunch of primatives over a kill.

        Plus, if you order “prime rib, well done” I think there is a law that allows anyone in earshot to shoot you, simply on principle.

      • Not Adahn

        Well yeah. Obviously if you want it well done you should order the end cuts.

      • DEG

        These euphemisms.

        On a non-euphemism note, a local brewpub has a weekly prime rib special. 18 oz of prime rib with two sides and a beer for $20. For a little while I was going weekly for the prime rib special, but I need to cut back so I haven’t been in a while.

      • cyto

        That sounds pretty awesome!

      • Sean

        Mmmmmm….prime rib. ?

  9. robc

    Someone sucks at circles.

    • Sean

      ??

    • Spudalicious

      Round pizza is for pussies.

      • Spudalicious

        And you’re right. You should see me try and draw one.

      • Ted S.

        True master chefs can make klein bottle-shaped pizzas.

      • Spudalicious

        Oh I can do that. Just not intentionally.

      • Shirley Knott

        Shop here.

      • westernsloper

        All those pies are a “would eat” Spud. They look great.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Only squares make round pizza.

  10. cyto

    From the earlier links:
    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2020/2/7/21123518/trump-2020-election-democratic-party-james-carville

    Sean Illing
    I take all your points about power and the Senate and the need to be a majoritarian party. I just wonder where the limits are, especially in this media ecosystem where even the best Democratic messaging gets deformed and bastardized in right-wing media and thus never reaches the people Democrats need to reach, or at least doesn’t reach enough of them.

    The right wing media? Are you kidding me?

    It isn’t enough to own all the major papers, the networks, cable except for Fox…. And control all of the debates and get to pick your own moderators for the debates and control the pregame and postgame for all the debates – except for Fox news coverage….

    Nope… can’t get your message through with all of that advantage.

    Good lord, son…. what the heck do you want… a magic pony?

    • Rebel Scum

      Kulaks and wreckers…

    • AlmightyJB

      I fear the left is just playing the overton window game again. Buttjudge, who is a far left liberal statist, looks like a centrist compared to Bernie and Liz.

      • cyto

        good point.

        Carville actually had some good points in there – if you were a democrat.

        And he abandoned the mask. This is about power. We need power.

        Which is why libertarian minimalist government principals are anathema to all democrats and republicans. They want power. Power over your life.

        We want to make sure nobody has power over our lives except us. So we don’t want power. And we don’t want you to have power.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        But in order to do that, Libertarians would need power in government

      • DrOtto

        Carville is brilliant, it’s a good thing no one listens to him anymore. The interesting take for me was for him telling them not to be so smug. I’m fairly certain he held copyright on smug for awhile in the ’90s.

  11. Brochettaward

    American cheese on burgers isn’t debatable. If you’re using other kinds, you’re wrong. It’s made to be melted onto burgers. That other shit aint.

      • Rebel Scum

        Cheddar makes it beddar.

      • Rhywun

        ^This. And I shred my own so it melts just fine.

      • Rebel Scum

        That works. You can also just put a slice on and cover the skillet / close the grill for the last minute or so in order to get plenty of ambient heat to melt it.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Mild Cheddar
        Colby Jack
        American Cheese is for Bologna Sandwiches

      • Not Adahn

        *pats Yusef on the head*

      • westernsloper

        American Cheese is for Bologna Sandwiches

        True that, but it has to be Kraft. The other stuff is just gross.

      • DrOtto

        Sure, when ‘merican isn’t available.

      • Aloysious

        ~”I pity thee.”

        That is soooo racist against those with orange melanin.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, no, that’s “pithy”

    • AlmightyJB

      Ever try Havarti boomer?

      • Nephilium

        Or pepper jack, or smoked mozzarella, or provolone…

    • Not Adahn

      God help me, but you’re right.

      • Jarflax

        This comment is more inaccurate than astrology!

    • Jarflax

      American cheese is disgusting, flavorless dreck made for demented losers who worry more about easy melting than taste.

      • Not Adahn

        Bullshit.

        American Cheese is delicious cheese sauce made so that it is solid at room temperature for more portability.

      • Not Adahn

        And not only that, Velveta + RoTel is better than any “from scratch” chili con queso you can make!

      • Spudalicious

        This is where I’ve got to draw the line. Our neighbors make that stuff and it’s awful. I’ll eat half a bowl to be polite, but a bechamel filled with quality cheese and a homemade roasted pepper salsa will always be superior.

      • Not Adahn

        Let me guess, you’re drinking wine along with it?

      • Spudalicious

        Depends on the heat of roasted pepper salsa but beer would be safer bet.

        /ignores NA’s blatant sarcasm

      • Naptown Bill

        I’ll meet you halfway. Velveta/RoTel is a good comfort food or no fuss version, but if you’re starting with a good bechamel sauce as a foundation anything you make is probably going to be delicious.

      • Spudalicious

        ^^This guy gets it^^

      • Jarflax

        American Cheese is delicious lame cheese sauce made so that it is solid at room temperature that isn’t even a sauce but instead is a substance disguised as cheese for more portability.

      • Ted S.

        I thought American cheese was oil and not even a cheese.

      • pistoffnick

        It’s just cheese with a little extra whey to make it more pliable and meltable

      • Naptown Bill

        ^This. And turning one’s nose up at American cheese is the worst form of food snob bandwagoning. American cheese is just mild cheddar, jack, annatto (sp?) and cream. So what, you think cream and cheese mixed together is gross? Not a fondue fan? Figure it out.

      • Jarflax

        Someone, possibly you claims this every time this gets brought up. I haven’t willingly eaten American cheesefood since I was 5. It tastes atrocious and there is no cream, or actual cheese involved. Bandwagoning my ass.

        Ingredients:

        Milk.
        Whey.
        Milk Protein Concentrate.
        Milkfat.
        Sodium Citrate.
        Calcium Phosphate.
        Whey Protein Concentrate.
        Salt.

        Notice the absence of the ingredients you claim and the presence of separated and heavily processed milk derivitives instead. It is not cheese.

      • Mojeaux

        I think we’re referring to American cheese versus American processed cheese product (also Velveeta and CheezWhiz) and not knowing who’s talking about which.

      • CPRM

        What is American cheese if not processed cheese? ( I mean except Colby, the one true American Cheese that is cheese?)

      • CPRM

        Those are both processed cheese, one is just a brand name.

      • Mojeaux

        They are not the same thing.

        According to the US Standards of Identity for Dairy Products, part of the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR), to be labeled “American cheese” a processed cheese is required to be manufactured from cheddar cheese, colby cheese, washed curd cheese, or granular cheese, or any mixture of two or more of these. The CFR also includes regulations for the manufacturing of processed American cheese.

        Because its manufacturing process differs from traditional cheeses, federal laws mandate that it be labeled as “processed American cheese” if made from combining more than one cheese, or “processed American cheese food” if dairy ingredients such as cream, milk, skim milk, buttermilk, cheese whey, or albumin from cheese whey are added.

        There is a difference in both taste and mouth-feel.

      • CPRM

        So now you’re just a shill for Big Cheese? I thought I’d be the one to get that paycheck!

      • Mojeaux

        *insert Homer drool*

        Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese…

      • Naptown Bill

        Allow me to enlighten you with the following link:

        As close to the official recipe as you can get, I think.

        The ingredients are: milk, buttermilk or other “starter”, rennet, coloring (optional), and salt. That’s it.

        There is also process cheese, process cheese food, and process cheese spread, which are all things that have cheese and other stuff.

        Here’s another link that’s relevant. I may have posted it last time.

        The first ingredient in American process cheese is cheese.

        Key takeaway quote: “Let’s get another thing straight. All cheese is processed. All of it. It is a man-made product that does not exist in nature.”

        According to the article, the process was invented in Switzerland…

      • Jarflax

        Yes, you sure enlightened me with the link to something that would in fact be a cheese, but which is not what you get when you order a cheeseburger at a fast food place, nor what you get when you use the prepackaged slices, nor yet what you get from velveeta. I am perfectly willing to believe that some of the stuff that costs the same as cheddar at the deli counter may be cheese. It isn’t as tasty as cheddar, but to each their own.

        But people were specifically talking about Velveeta:

        milk, water, whey, milk protein concentrate, milkfat, whey protein concentrate, sodium phosphate, and 2% or less of salt, calcium phosphate, lactic acid, sorbic acid, sodium citrate, sodium alginate, enzymes, apocarotenal, annatto, and cheese culture.

        and it isn’t cheese.

      • Brochettaward

        To be clear, that’s still done best with American cheese.

      • DrOtto

        The Jucy Lucy is maybe the one thing that convinces me I left MN too soon.

  12. Rhywun

    That Venezuela article… SMDH. Won’t somebody please think of the poor Venezuelan government?!

    • DrOtto

      Two times the term “socialist-inspired” shows up in that article. Never a solo “socialist”. Must have been an oversight.

    • AlmightyJB

      I saw it. Trolling.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I would also take human extinction over a Trump re-election.

      I would also take human extinction over a Sanders, Warren, et al. election.

      In other words, we’re a cursed species and we all deserve to die.

      • KSuellington

        Counterpoint: We are the best species and rule over all else.

    • Spudalicious

      And she needs to keep her top on.

      I heat my skillet, spray it with PAM, wipe it with a paper towel and let it cool down.

      • cyto

        Actually, I’d kinda like to have those shoulders. Odd that my body idol might be a chick… but there ya go.

    • DEG

      Intriguing. Queued for later viewing as I’m stepping out for a bit.

    • Sean

      I thought you just keep making bacon to season it.

    • Gustave Lytton

      My method

      1) use sander to remove old finish and smooth out surface (if new). Not completely smooth but not the mottled surface that modern cast iron come with. Also works if there’s surface rust.

      2) wipe, rinse, and dry

      3) heat cast iron until almost too hot to touch at the edge. Place a very small amount of oil, vegetable is fine, about the size of a dime in the pan. Use a paper towel to barely coat the piece. Use another towel to remove excess. Should look slightly damp, even, and not oily. No oil slicks.

      4) place upside down in hot oven 450F or more for an hour

      5) cool

      6) repeat 3-5. If you get sticky points, wash with hot water soap, and green scotchbrite, dry and repeat 3-5

      After use, wash with hot water, soap, and nonscratch pad. If your pan is properly seasoned with the oil polymerized, soap will not “ruin” the seasoning. Dry and immediately heat pan to almost too hot to touch at the edge. Add a drop of oil, use a paper towel to spread all the way around to just glisten it, take another paper towel and wipe to remove any excess. Again, only need a very very thin layer of oil on it.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, sure, but do you do that while wearing a sports bra?

      • Spudalicious

        He probably can, but who would want to see that?

      • Sean

        Rule 34 dude.

      • Spudalicious

        Fair point.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not me.

      • Naptown Bill

        A lot of people don’t seem to know the difference between a seasoned pan–where the oil has polymerized–and an oily pan you haven’t washed properly.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Speaking of degrading constitutional norms…

    When discussing gun control efforts, Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren brought up her willingness to scrap the legislative filibuster, especially on an issue like universal background checks, which polls show has the support of a clear majority of Americans. The filibuster creates a hurdle in the Senate that makes it more difficult to pass legislation.

    Warren is one of three Democratic candidates on the record backing the end of the filibuster, along with Pete Buttigieg, the former mayor of South Bend, Ind., and billionaire activist TomSteyer.

    Buttigieg was then asked about expanding the Supreme Court. He’s called for increasing the number of justices to 15, with five of those being “apolitical justices picked by the first 10.” Today the Supreme Court has nine members but the Constitution doesn’t specify how many justices it may include.

    Warren, Steyer and entrepreneur Andrew Yang have also expressed support for increasing the size of the court.

    1) It is as if that is the point.
    2) You must mean that you want 10 liberal leftist leaning and 5 conservative leaning.

    • Rhywun

      apolitical justices

      Good one. Wait… they’re serious?!

  14. Tres Cool

    XFL is the Nick Gillespie of football.

    • DEG

      I hear they have no cheerleaders so I agree.

      • Tres Cool

        They’re all in the locker room making halftime sammiches, duh

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      The uniforms are leather?

  15. Not Adahn

    From the public porn link

    “Keep in mind, it was right next to the chips, and across from the sunflower seeds,” Alderman Rainey said during testimony before a licenses committee last year,

    WTF should the guy behind the counter be in trouble for not calling the police? Getting a free show should not be illegal!

    • cyto

      I thought the things that made it public indecency were

      A) is she hot?
      B) are there kids present?

      And maybe

      C) is my wife there?

      ‘Cause, you know. Gotta pretend you are offended at that point.

      • UnCivilServant

        I never knew your wife worked in porn.

      • Not Adahn

        One of us does/did. I forget whom.

      • cyto

        She definitely could have… but then again, I think the only qualification for “could have worked in porn” is “are you female”.

        It used to be “are you female and between 18 and 25?” But if the last time I googled the word “amateur” was any guide, I think they’ve done away with all limits on age, size and looks.

  16. Ownbestenemy

    In honor of pizza im making enchilada…with pineapple and candian bacon.

    • Spudalicious

      Deep dish enchiladas?

    • Tres Cool

      enchiladas del honkys ?

      • juris imprudent

        enchilada duh haole

      • westernsloper

        LOL

  17. Spudalicious

    Huh. That is Kurt Menafee calling the game.

  18. Some Random Asshole pt 15

    just made some Tamales for Dinner, I finally found some Tapatio high in the Back of Walmart, now I have Killer Tamales!

    • UnCivilServant

      Careful, or you’ll be facing an attack of the killer tamales.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Tapatio’s Revenge?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Saw Salsa Huichol at the grocery store the other day. No longer have to bring it back from Mexico.

      • KSuellington

        That stuff is real good, I also used to bring it back as it isn’t usually seen here. I’m sure you know these guys stuff, the Salsa Maya and the Caribbean ones are super spicy and tasty.

        https://www.elyucateco.com/usa

      • Gustave Lytton

        I actually didn’t, but those do look good.

  19. UnCivilServant

    Okay, what feeds on dust mites? I seriously doubt they’re outside the food chain.

    • cyto

      Bigger mites?

      • cyto

        That was a joke. Google says:

        The predators of dust mites are other allergenic mites (Cheyletiella), silverfish and pseudoscorpions.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m actually surprised at how large their predators are. I could have sworn something the size of silverfish would not be feeding on them.

      • Shirley Knott

        Well, look at the size of what you chew vs your size.
        Not that I want to look at any of those predators and compare their mouth part sizes with dust mites. Bleah

      • UnCivilServant

        Cows are bigger than I am, and there seem to be a number of commenters who think I should just start gnawing on their flank.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s really the only way it should be eaten.

      • UnCivilServant

        The cows tend to react poorly when that happens.

      • DrOtto

        try tipping them first

      • Rebel Scum

        They have quite a mating ritual.

        Before silverfish reproduce, they carry out a ritual involving three phases, which may last over half an hour. In the first phase, the male and female stand face to face, their quivering antennae touching, then repeatedly back off and return to this position. In the second phase, the male runs away and the female chases him. In the third phase, the male and female stand side by side and head to tail, with the male vibrating his tail against the female.[11] Finally, the male lays a spermatophore, a sperm capsule covered in gossamer, which the female takes into her body via her ovipositor to fertilize her eggs. The female lays groups of fewer than 60 eggs at once, deposited in small crevices.[12] The eggs are oval-shaped, whitish, about 0.8 mm (0.031 in) long,[13] and take between two weeks and two months to hatch. A silverfish usually lays fewer than 100 eggs in her lifetime.[2]

        Too much foreplay. And I take it the females only reproduce twice.

      • Animal

        Big fleas have little fleas,
        Upon their backs to bite ’em.
        Little fleas have smaller fleas,
        And so ad infinitum.

    • Spudalicious

      Mud bugs?

      • Tres Cool

        Pledge.

      • UnCivilServant

        You just added that to the page, didn’t you? I could swear it wasn’t there before.

    • UnCivilServant

      Wait… a missile-centric military doesn’t have point defense systems?

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      Because we resurrect silly, who cares if we lose a few dozen?

      • cyto

        best answer of the week!

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Well, I am a Toaster lover

  20. C. Anacreon

    When your foot hits an eel,
    And you’re starting to squeal,
    That’s a Moray.

    • KSuellington

      *golf clap*

    • Ted S.

      I like eels,
      Except as meals.
      And the way they feels.

      • pistoffnick

        My hovercraft is full of eels.
        Would you like to go upstairs? Bouncy bouncy?

    • Ozymandias

      See that thing in the reef?
      With the big shiny teeth –
      That’s a Moray

      (from my wife when I sang yours out loud)

      • Festus

        Clever girl…

      • Ozymandias

        But not smart enough to avoid falling for my tricknology and marrying me!

      • mindyourbusiness

        When two patterns combine
        In a way serpentine,
        that’s a moire”.

  21. KSuellington

    Snoop Dog is a massive piece of shit. Fuck that guy.

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      Did he take your Gin and Juice?

      • KSuellington

        Heh, heh. Not a gin fan really so he can have it all. I stick to my beer with the occasional Irish or bourbon. That ugly doofus is lucky he’s not rotting away in a California state prison.

    • Rhywun

      I think I’ll stay out of this one because I have zero interest in any of the players.

    • KSuellington

      The link that Spud provided is just the latest example of his assholery. Here is another from the Dogg himself: “ I mean, shit, I’d choke her, slap her around, make a motherfuckin’ show of it, but at the end of the day, the bitch earned that money fuckin’ all them ball players I sold her to. I ain’t no monster.”

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        So, a real Asshole eh?

      • Ozymandias

        Something pimp’s love something something

    • DrOtto

      Has Snoop ever been a role model? He’s been tried for homicide IRL. Also, listen to his lyrics. That said, I think he raises a valid point. She had 17 years to confront Kobe personally on her questions, but waits till he’s dead? That seems like some bullshit. Also, I’m not a Kobe fan, this just smells like bullshit. If your comment was meant in generalities towards Snoop and not in regards to the links, as no one reads those, I apologize as I think an argument could be made regarding your summation of Snoop Dogg.

  22. Aloysious

    I’m glad to see some potatoes some of those pizza’s.

    Are you using the Yukon Gold potato specifically, or are you just referring to any yellow potato as a ‘Yukon Gold’?

    • Spudalicious

      Gold potatoes in general. The potato melts into the crust, so it’s the waxy texture you’re looking for.

      • Aloysious

        That’s cool.

        The specific cultivar Yukon Gold, when you can get them, are the awesome.

        Although, I must say, that some of the fingerling varieties are the best for roasting, IMO.

        BTW, hello from Nampa.

      • Spudalicious

        Howdy! We need to do a beer.

        I’ve grown Yukons and they are the one potato I really think is an improvement from store bought.

      • Rhywun

        Golds are my favorite for my favorite application of potatoes – fried.

  23. Old Man With Candy

    So I’m surprised you didn’t make our signature potato, wild mushroom, caramelized onion, and raclette pizza. SP is threatening to make stuffed shells tonight. Maybe I’ll do a pizza tomorrow with some grilled fennel, requezon, and I’m-not-sure-what-else.

    But no-one here appreciated that you made all your pizzas in the shape of Iowa to honor their contributions over the past week. I noticed, and hats off to you.

    • Spudalicious

      It’s there times two. Just with a couple of change ups. That my pizzas don’t look like Australia is an improvement.

    • Not Adahn

      If you didn’t make that for Switzy, I take back every good thing I ever said about you.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Of course I did. More than once.

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      Try to knock it off, I dare you
      RIP

    • Shirley Knott

      And Orson Bean last night.

      • Rhywun

        Saw that one. I love his Twilight Zone episode, which I saw again this past NYE.

    • Spudalicious

      Huh, I had no idea he was still alive.

    • Ozymandias

      I loved “Baa Baa Black Sheep” as a kid. We also used to sit and watch “Wild Wild West” with my dad in the late afternoons when he got home from work.
      I got a kick out of him and Gabe Kaplan as captains on “Battle of the Network Stars” or whatever the hell it was.
      He had some great stories from his discussions with the real ‘Pappy’ Boyington in prepping for the show, but I can’t find them now. He had a great run.

    • Francisco d'Anconia

      RIP, Pappy

    • RAHeinlein

      RIP – I loved Black Sheep Squadron as a kid.

  24. one true athena

    mm pizza… I should have some for dinner.

    Also, hilariously, I have to tell you all I am now suspended from Twitter. Some chick did a pro-abortion video — I gather it was supposed to be sort of a joke where it started like a ‘gender reveal’ video and then ends “it’s aborted!” I replied: “I hope you enjoyed stepping on sea turtle eggs and eating fried puppies, too!”

    I think the “I hope you–” part clicked some algorithm because it came back almost instantly with a ‘targeted abuse’ something something. So I appealed. we’ll see when a real person actually looks at it. I’m fine to delete it, but I figured I should appeal because getting suspended for that is just stupid af.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I gather it was supposed to be sort of a joke where it started like a ‘gender reveal’ video and then ends “it’s aborted!

      That sounds horrific. Fucking sociopaths.

      • one true athena

        Yeah, it’s chicks like that who moved me from my pro-choice to pro-life position. “safe, legal, rare” I have no real problem with, but this “celebrate killing the baby” shit needs to be crushed.

        Fleccas did a video recently on the same hypocrisy- a bunch of people signed up to stop fictional dog “abortions” in county animal shelters, but refused to sign for humans.

        I see it constantly in PP and the fight to keep out the truth of what abortion actually is, and that’s my main problem, I think. If you take a life, you should be willing to look at it and know what you’re doing. Not hide behind euphemisms, not pretend it’s just ‘a clump of cells’ or any of that trash — people need to understand exactly what it is and how it happens, because how else can a person make a true choice about it?

        Anyway, not to derail a post with yummy pizza with abortion, but just to roll my eyes at twitter for suspending me for THAT when I have seen way worse harassment and abuse and those people never seem to pay a price at all.

      • westernsloper

        The sick thing is it is totes ok to celebrate murdering a human being but making a smart ass comment about it gets a person banned, assuming you are actually a person and not a goddess.

      • one true athena

        If only I could smite all my enemies!

      • Ted S.

        You’re the goddess of wisdom, and know that smiting y0ur enemies would be unwise.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The abortion cult is just sick.

    • Old Man With Candy

      /looking for “like” button

    • Mojeaux

      Twitter can be an asshole. I have friends who have very few followers and very few people and tweet rarely and STILL get banned like chipwooderdove.

    • one true athena

      offs, twitter. “appeal denied”. Fine, I deleted it, and now I serve out my 8 hour “exist but unable to tweet doghouse”.

      Amazing that so many people can tweet the most vile of insults at other people, but my reply, with no insults, no threats, must be punished for wrongthink.

      • Rhywun

        I happily deleted my account last year. Helps that I only used it very rarely anyway.

      • CPRM

        If I knew your twitter handle, my first response when to you when you’re re-instated would start with ‘I hope you…’

      • one true athena

        @1trueathena is me!

        but lol, yes, try it, I want to see if it really was automatic or some bitch reported me in that thread.

        “I hope you trampled on some sea turtle eggs and fried up some puppies, too” was the actual tweet. I guess mockery is a step too far for the Terms, in a thread that joked about abortion. oy

      • CPRM

        I just tweeted that exact wording at your currently exiled handle, we’ll see what happens.

      • CPRM

        Donald Trumputin
        @CPRMglib
        ·
        9s
        @1trueathena
        I hope you trampled on some sea turtle eggs and fried up some puppies, too

      • CPRM

        Unless I’m shadow banned, nothing has happened so far.

      • RAHeinlein

        Given the recent documentaries and discourse regarding online animal cruelty, I’d guess that is what merited the automatic ban.

    • Mojeaux

      I can see you on Twitter and tweeted at you. I will assume you can’t reply.

  25. Juvenile Bluster

    @Sensei: I saw that after Interspecies Reviewers got cancelled by Funimation in the states it was outright cancelled in Japan as well.

    I watched one episode out of curiosity. It was *awful*. There are shows that use fanservice well. There are shows that use fanservice to paper over how bad the show is. Then there was this, which apparently tried to go ultimate on the fanservice to make people not notice how awfully bad the show was. It didn’t work.

    • UnCivilServant

      I found it so bad it was funny. Oddly enough, I only watched because it was cancelled.

    • Not Adahn

      I heard that it was available on Pornhub. No joke.

    • Sensei

      Amazon Prime cancelled it.

      My understanding was the Tokyo region cancelled it, but other regions kept it and AT-X (which is satellite) is still running the uncensored version.

      It’s so bad it’s good! The Japanese is perfectly appropriate for my 12 year old skill level – so I feel like a kid reading playboy.

  26. Derpetologist

    Extinction Rebellion Protesters Outraged by Smartphone Bug

    ***
    LONDON – In an utterly unpredictable turn of events, all the smartphones of the Extinction Rebellion protesters have stopped working, Throngs of protesters fell to their knees and helplessly smashed the button. According to protester Nigel Buckingham: waaaaaaaaaaaah! No one’s going to see this on the Twitter! I might as well hang me self!

    The National Health Service has sent out loudspeaker vans urging protesters that being ignored is a normal, healthy part of life.
    ***

    • Derpetologist

      unprencitentable?! Me Fail English.

      I’m on beer 14(?) at the moment.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I’ll speak for Tres and myself,
        WE are So Proud of You!!!!!!
        Tall Cans!

      • Festus

        Derpy is the mole.

      • straffinrun

        Impressive. I’d be face down.

      • Ted S.

        There’s a reason why I stop after two drinks.

      • Rhywun

        #metoo and before someone says “pace yourself”, that doesn’t work for me.

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      8th tee at BhC, not Kingman

    • Sean

      First pic – your friend’s hide and seek skills need work.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        That’s me..

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t see anyone in that picture.

        /damn lies

      • Sean

        Thank you.

      • Raven Nation

        I was so hoping that was the link.

    • Festus

      So that thing on the right is where you burn the discs that under perform? Not very eco-friendly Bob!

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        No that’s a homeless BBQ, I give the underperformers to Kids who go WOW! that’s cool!
        Always with the parents present, I’m not OMWC

      • Festus

        No. Even better, you’re OMW toys!

  27. Rebel Scum

    That is not how it works.

    President Donald Trump late Friday afternoon and evening ended the week by firing three administration and White House officials, he blames for his impeachment in a campaign of retribution that some experts are calling illegal.

    Trump not only had Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman transferred out of the White House, he had him fired from his National Security Post and escorted out of the building. Vindman’s twin brother, who also works on the NSC, was summarily fired and escorted out as well, as The New York Times reports.

    If that weren’t enough Trump then turned around and had his Ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, fired as well.

    Both Vindman and Sondland had testified before Congress, proving the whistleblower’s claims that the president engaged in disturbing behavior by extorting Ukraine. The General Accounting Office substantiated that claim, stating that Trump’s withholding of hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid was illegal.

    The hashtag #FridayNightMasacre is trending on Twitter right now.

    CNN Legal Analyst and former federal and state prosecutor Elie Honig says Trump’s actions today are “criminal.”

    Calling it a “Friday Night Massacre,” professor of international relations and visiting professor at Johns Hopkins University, journalist, and CEO of The Rothkopf Group, David Rothkopf also says Trump’s actions today are criminal.

    I am pretty sure that everyone in the executive branch serves at the pleasure of the president.

    • Rhywun

      extorting Ukraine

      OFFS.

      • straffinrun

        And then they claim the GAO backed that claim of extortion. I must’ve missed that part.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I’m surprised he waited this long to fire them.

      • Rebel Scum

        He really needs to clean house. My understanding is that there are still a lot of Obama holdovers in positions of influence.

        OFFS.

        This is turning into Charlottesville comments #2. Like his actual, in context words the actual series of events, wherein the Ukrainians did not think anything was held up (because it wasn’t), don’t matter. The narrative matters. And the narrative is a lie.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What, the Twitter comments? Just keep in mind that a large proportion of those people are genuinely mentally ill individuals who indulge themselves by trying to out hysteria each other.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Who’d want those snitches working with sensitive information and planning your downfall behind your back? Trump would be a damn fool to not clean house.

      • UnCivilServant

        He’s a damn fool for not cleaning house day 1.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You are correct, he seems to be cutthroat in some ways and overly trusting in others and he screwed up big time by not running a purge as soon as he was sworn in.

      • commodious spittoon

        He should have bounced Comey on January 21st, 2017, just for how the weasel handled Hillary’s investigation.

      • Viking1865

        He’s a fucking sucker for the brass and the civilian national security establishment. I call it the Tom Clancy Effect, where people think that the brass, the FBI, and the CIA are dedicated apolitical patriots with a few conniving bad apples, when in reality it’s damn close to the opposite.

      • straffinrun

        “Damn fool” isn’t used enough these days.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You’re fuckin’ A right it isn’t.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        It would be a good template for future Presidents.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Partially for the reason that if your administration fucks up, it’s harder to blame on the previous one.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Also, how far down the org. chart do you go? Here in Canuckistan, if a new government chopped off the head of every department, there’s a lineup of Liberal sycophants in each one to take their place.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, the rot goes all the way down. It’s the nature of the beast. Those jobs only attract that type.

  28. Chipping Pioneer

    All of these pizzas look great. I look forward to trying them when the carnivore diet is successful.

    So… things are going well. Down almost 6 pounds in 5 days. Mostly water, probably. And I know that I’m not drinking enough water.

    Tonight, not even hungry. Haven’t had dinner yet. I have a few scallops that I might sauté up later in some butter and garlic.

    Bulleit rye is tasty, but I think I prefer the 10 year bourbon.

    My favourite off-the-page pizza – – I present to you: the Brando. I suspect that it’s named thusly because of you eat too many, you’ll look like Brando. Island of Dr. Moreau, not On the Waterfront.

    • Spudalicious

      I’ve dropped 35# in the last nine months. Stress is a hell of a weight loss program. In the mixed bag category, some positive events have allowed my appetite to return. I want to eat everything in sight. I have to be careful not to waste the opportunity to get rid of some of this fattitude.

    • Nephilium

      Good job on the loss, don’t expect to keep it up at that rate though. I’m just hoping for ~2 lbs. a week down at this point.

  29. Festus

    Ugh. So tired. Will check in later.

    • Festus

      Strip steak in the skillet and the last two russets in the house. Caesar salad on the side. Dammit woman! Potatoes and onions are never to be left off the shopping list. *grumbles*

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Do you even keto, bra?

      • Festus

        Don’t need too, we’re both slim.

      • Festus

        (ish)

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Yes! Thin to win!

      • Festus

        Easier to escape from cramped places.

  30. egould310

    “Pesto, pancetta, artichoke hearts, and kalamata olives marinated in lemon juice.”

    Yes, please. I would like to eat that.

  31. CPRM

    DVR’d and watched both XFL games. The ABC/ESPN game had better visual production, but they over used the live game audio and interview openness the XFL is offering. The Fox game did better with the latter, worse with the former. Either way, the product on the field was good. I’ve tried to at least watch some video footage of every ‘upstart’ league since the USFL (which was before my time of remembering, I was 2 or 3) including NFL Europe. This is by far the best product on the field in this time. All the rest looked like pre-season NFL at their best, and worse than that most of the time. But these first two games of XFL 2.0 looked good. Not sloppy at all, and none of the teams thus far seem to be completely unmatched to the competition. I can only watch one of tomorrow’s games because I don’t have ESPN. But so far so good.

    Negatives: I think it should start later. have some breathing room after the NFL ends and extend into the summer when there is nothing going on but baseball. Also, who the hell do I root for? The only midwest team is way down south in St. Louis, and their first game is the aforementioned ESPN game I can’t watch.

    • Rebel Scum

      I can only watch one of tomorrow’s games because I don’t have ESPN.

      Sport. Surge. Dot. Net.

      Also, who the hell do I root for?

      Lucky for me there is a DC team. And they won today.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        SSDN is the shizzle.

      • CPRM

        I don’t care enough to pirate yet, like I said, I don’t even know who I’m rooting for.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      How many teams in the new XFL? And, how many are named Rough Riders?

      • CPRM

        8 teams, and on ‘feeder’ team ( like on practice squad for the whole team.) None are the Rough Riders, but my college freshman room mate did play for that Ragina (hah) team.

      • Festus

        “I’ve been to Regina, it smells like it spells!”

      • Festus

        Three.

    • Rhywun

      Go… *googles furiously*… Guardians! Yeah, them!

      But yeah, those two games today were pretty good.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        GO TEAM 9!

      • Trigger Hippie

        The District 9 Prawns?

      • Chipping Pioneer

        9th Circuit Lobotomies.

      • Festus

        Go Niners!

    • Spudalicious

      I enjoyed both games today. I wasn’t expecting to.

  32. Charles Easterly

    Completely off topic(s): “Coronavirus – Why You Should Panic More.”

    On a related yet selfish note*, I thank those commentators on this website who previously responded to my inquiry with regards to Countertop Convection ovens. I do not now recall who asked which ones I was considering at the time, and in the ever changing world in which we live in, my list now includes those discussed on this website (although clearly I am open to suggestions in regards to other options).

    *It is related in that I can cook pizzas in whichever Countertop Convection oven I eventually purchase.

    • Charles Easterly

      For Frith’s sake – please ignore the link and give me your opinions regarding Countertop Convection ovens that have the following spacial features: Approximately (and up to) 20″ wide, 18″ tall, and have an interior that includes two levels.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, I ignore Youtube links that could just as easily be blog posts that are quicker to read.

      • CPRM

        I’ve never used even a toaster oven. Never got the point, I have an oven and a toaster, why do I need a third thing?

      • Ted S.

        It’s damn convenient for cooking for one.

      • CPRM

        How so? I never got the idea of a toaster oven if you already have an oven.

      • westernsloper

        Some of us don’t have an oven rich guy.

      • Ted S.

        I find the countertop height more convenient, and I assume it uses less electric than the oven.

      • CPRM

        I could leave my 30 yr old oven on 24/7 and not even see a change in my electric bill. Your back must be worse than mine, and I get a back ache after wearing a tucked shirt for more than 5 minutes.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, the one clear advantage my oven has is that the energy to use it is already paid for in my rent.

      • Rhywun

        It’s faster than my oven for cooking small things. And it’s a better toaster than my toaster ever was.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        +1 Electric skillet

    • juris imprudent

      We have a Cuisinart – not the one in your list there, but the one that also air-frys. Absolutely love it.

    • westernsloper

      My new countertop convection oven/air fryer I was touting in December died on Super Bowl Sunday. Today I got a refund from Wmart and bought a mid ranged air-fryer. When I replace the oven I am going with this one. Sixteen inch pizzas is the selling point.

      • Rebel Scum

        I have that oven. It’s the tits.

      • Festus

        Great Q tits or flap-jack Sunday morning tits?

      • Charles Easterly

        “We have a Cuisinart – not the one in your list there, but the one that also air-frys. Absolutely love it.”

        “When I replace the oven I am going with this one. Sixteen inch pizzas is the selling point.”

        “I have that oven.”

        Thank you for your suggestions with regards to Countertop Convection ovens.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      You, sir, are a hero.

      • Charles Easterly

        “You, sir, are a hero.”

        Who, Sir?

  33. Trigger Hippie

    Cooking on a budget right now.

    Three pounds of pot roast in the crock pot with small red potatoes, carrots, wild green onions, rosemary, sage, salt, pepper, and au jus as the stock.

    Should keep me fed for a couple days.

      • Ted S.

        Not a Ron Swanson’s TV dinner?

      • CPRM

        I never watched Parks and Rec or the Office, I mean I tried, but they weren’t funny. I only heard about Ron Swanson later when a friend said ‘that’s you!’ and I watched and didn’t see the connection beyond the mention that he’s libertarian, but his is farcical.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Can’t I just eat Zoey Deschanel instead?

      • Festus

        A man after my own heart.

    • Mojeaux

      I wish I could figure out how to make a pot roast that wasn’t stringy, well done, a bit dry, and only good with ketchup. This is how I grew up eating it and I tried twice to do it better, but it didn’t work, so I gave up on pot roast.

      One of the times I tried it, it was in a Crock-Pot. It tasted boiled.

      • CPRM

        Don’t over cook it. It’s pretty much that simple. Under cook it and let it rest before you cut it. Rare meet isn’t the debil.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Crock pot, lay down abed of carrots to put the roast on,
        ad roast and 1/2 cup water,
        Sliced whole potatos on top,
        season how you want,
        Cook on High for one hour, then reduce to medium for as long as you can stand it, 4-5 hours
        Don’t remove the lid til done, this is important
        open when done and watch the meat just fall aprt with juicy goodness.
        Wendy taught me, and I do them well, I love her Mom!

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I mean Pealed whole potatos

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Do you have an Instant Pot?

      • Mojeaux

        I do not and can’t justify the purchase.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Crock pot

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Do you not want good pot roast?

        Did one the other night. Turned out fantastic. Rare to medium rare in the middle. Tasty stuff.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        With a cheap, gristly cut of meat.

      • Mojeaux

        To be sure, pot roast is not on my top 100 things to make, like, ever. I was commenting that I don’t like my mom’s, I tried and didn’t like it, every meat I have ever thrown in a Crock-pot comes out tasting boiled, and I see no need to experiment.

      • westernsloper

        When I was a kid we called all things cooked in a crock pot, “crock”. I actually like crock roast. Just needs lots of horseradish.

      • Spudalicious

        I braise mine in “marinara” sauce, until it’s falling apart. Meat stays moist and has several applications.

        Make your marinara, minus meat, brown a chuck roast and nestle it in the sauce. Cover 300* in a covered braising pot for ~2 hours.

      • Spudalicious

        Give this a try. You can serve the meat as a protein. You can shred it and put it on a bun, you can shred it and toss it with pasta and you can use the leftovers to make a baked pasta.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Slow and low, that’s the tempo. I’ll cook that shit for twelve plus hours if that’s what it takes. I also tend to buy a roast with a little more fat in it than most people I know. And I’m a big fan of the juice so there’s always a healthy amount of broth I leave in every bowl I eat. Finally, I add the potatoes and carrots a few hours after I start the roast so they don’t turn into mush before the roast is tender enough to cut with a fork.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Carrots are sacrificial, and put the taters on top of the roast, they won’t turn to glue that way,
        Mine don’t

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’ll have to try that next time. I’ve always been in the habit of making a bed of potatoes and carrots for the roast to lay on.

      • CPRM

        No, flavor things go on top to drips down! That goes for the fat side of the cut as well, don’t put all that flavor on the bottom to fry just the lower 1/4 inch.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’m so confused. I usually cook the roast for a few hours, quickly drain it into a waiting pot, add veggies to the crock pot, then lay the meat(phrasing!) back in then add the stock, cover and cook.

        Dammit, I’m happy with my roast, quit playing with my emotions!

      • CPRM

        If you like boiled meat, who am I to stop you.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Rarish meat outside of steak puts me off.

        Boiled or not, it’s still tender. Good enough for my low class ass.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        If it turns out tasty, Who cares how you make it BONE APPETITE!

      • Festus

        Need to braise it first on the stove-top and then cover in the same pot. Add veggies as you go. Onions, mushrooms and celery and later carrots. A little while later add the pertaters. Keep cooking until the taters get soft-ish, pull everything out and cook down the au jus for the gravy. I didn’t say anything about salt and spices because that’s a personal choice. Discard the celery, mash everything else except the spuds into the gravy. Works a charm.

      • Trigger Hippie

        See? Three different methods for you to try already!

      • juris imprudent

        Le Creuset or cast iron dutch oven. I’ve got the Le Creuset for roasting, beef bourgnone (or coq au vin) or just plain ol’ stew.

      • Festus

        Yes. Cast iron dutch oven!

      • Trigger Hippie

        Sounds like something Stalin would have done to his wife just before bed.

      • Festus

        He seemed capable of many things. I was waiting for that joke and you did not disappoint. Is the cast iron dutch oven the one wherein all the pets are strategically placed on the corners of the bed-spread?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Correct. Though Trotsky was supposed to be there to help, but he was always too busy using a flute glass to catch then sniff his own farts in the other room.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Making hachee (Dutch beef stew) in ours tomorrow!

      • Nephilium

        I’ve got a cheap enameled cast iron dutch oven I use for oven roasting, chili, jambalaya, stews and the like. I love that little thing.

    • Festus

      Yeesh! They all look like they want to gobble your balls on toast.

    • Rebel Scum

      3 & 12

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      3 and I’ll be in my bunk…..

      • Spudalicious

        That’s Laura Pesonen from That ’70s Show.

      • Spudalicious

        Excuse me, Laura Prepon.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        No wonder I love her, I love her….

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      that’s a thicc room Q, Thanks!

    • westernsloper

      38………is that a penis dressed right tattoo?

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      Honk Kong Fluey?

      • Mojeaux

        LOL I love it.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        My sister told me that one…

      • Festus

        My brother is the funniest person that I’ve ever met. He’d fit right in here aside from the “communistic stuff”. Half of my jokes are stolen from him.

      • Festus

        ’tis a keeper.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I, for one, am getting tired of this epidemic shit. In 2012, we had MERS. Then, who could forget the Great Hit and Run Ebola Virus Freakout of 2014? Then there were people pants-shitting over hypothetical illegal Guatemalans during the Zika virus of 2015. Then we had chicken littles keening over a potential measles outbreak last year because some hipster idiots didn’t vax their babies. And now, Wuhan Virus ain’t nuthin’ to fuck wit.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’ve been patiently waiting for my first near death experience with killer bees for around twenty-five years now…

      • Festus

        Never stepped on a ground hornets nest, I’d wager. That some dancing queen regardless of stated gender.

      • Mojeaux

        Mr. Mojeaux, XX, and XY are deathly afraid of bees and hornets. Mr. Mojeaux’s deathly allergic, XX probably is too, and when XY was little, he opened a neighbor’s BBQ grill and found himself swarmed by wasps and got the shit stung out of him.

        Me–come at me, bro.

        I’ve been dealing with wasps around here forever. The long-spray wasp killer is some good stuff and yeah, they come after me, but they don’t get too close.

        The last time I was stung, I was getting in my car. There was a tiny nest in a hole in the door. Little fucker stung me on the arm and he broke his little stinger off. I smooshed him right there on my arm.

        Do not fuck with me, little asshole. You. Will. Die.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Worst I’ve gotten was after accidentally disturbing a nest of yellow jackets and getting stung in the face several times about five years ago. Had to run a few blocks away before they completely left me alone. Nothing major but my face was swollen and painful for a couple days afterwards.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        The 2 year old has been stung once, so we know she’s not allergic, but she’s now very afraid of bees and wasps (as is the wife). I have spent enough time digging in hives and have been stung enough times that they don’t bother me.

        At Disney last week, wife kept applying some natural sunscreen with citrus oils in it. Invariably, the local bees would show up 2 minutes later, looking for the source of the smell. I had to scoop a few frisky honey bees off of the kiddo by hand. Hardest part was keeping the toddler calm enough to not agitate the bees before I could rehome them.

      • Festus

        Ha! Me and my crew were clearing brush and we were all stung so we left this one little oasis alone. My Brother goes through and lays the area flat, looks at us like we’re stupid. My Dad pipes up “He’s so mean even hornets won’t sting him!”

      • CPRM

        I’m not allergic to bees, but this week made me think I may be allergic to crab. I got worn out on crab when I was young and my dad got to keep a case of crab that damaged while he was shipping it. We all got sick of it. I’ve only had fake crab since, and even that was too close to the real thing. But I was at a chinese buffet this week and there was a crab and shrimp medley. I only ate one piece of the crab and still didn’t care for it. But then my throat felt like it was swelling and it got hard to breath. But since those are the same symptoms I get from a panic attack, it’s hard to tell if it was an allergy or a panic attack.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I punch bees, as in lets go MFer, if you hit em, they drop

      • commodious spittoon

        You need to diversify your bonds, nigga.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’ve protected my neck with a varied portfolio for years, cuz. Word is bond.

      • Brochettaward

        Wait one god damn minute. When did commodious spittoon get the n word pass?

      • Q Continuum

        He’s black on the inside.

      • Brochettaward

        BULLSHIT. I’M BLACKER THAN HE IS. I DEMAND ANSWERS

      • Mojeaux

        We aren’t supposed to talk about his necrosis.

      • Spudalicious

        Ah, I thought it was black mold.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        oh shush Nigga….

      • Tres Cool

        …aint nuthin to fuck wit

        /dooh-dooh-dooh

      • CPRM

        I thought the Ebola one was pre-2011. Because in ma brain I remember going to my parent’s house at that time. But I don’t rightly know anymore. My brain timeline has been screwed up since 2014.

      • Festus

        The crash in 2008- 9 fucked me right badly. I fell in the bottle and didn’t really come up for air until 2012. Who knew going all in on concrete construction would go so terribly wrong?

      • westernsloper

        Yep

    • westernsloper

      I think the chinks have been railroaded on this one.

      • Trigger Hippie

        With the great wall of silence coming from their media, who can tell?

      • Festus

        Eh, we’ll be hungry for another pandemic in half an hour…

      • Rebel Scum

        In the meantime there will be lots of fireworks about the whole thing.

      • Festus

        The “Long Railroad”?

      • hayeksplosives

        If the chinks had peripheral vision, they’d both see the big picture and be better drivers.

      • Festus

        Nah. The Chinee are all about the long game.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Or e ental drivers are the worst,
        I drive fast er when I’m in Reverse,
        oh Mr lin Wong,
        I wish you drove like you playpin pong,
        I’ve been behind you for the looongest time,

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Hong Kong Fluey, #1 super Flu!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Bravo!

    • Rhywun

      ? love it

  34. CPRM

    Speaking of all this cooking talk. My aunt had me buy her a rotisserie chicken the other day so she could eat it for a meal, use the leftovers for sandwiches and for me to make soup. I show up the next day and she expects me to make soup that night in hr. I throw all the bones and skins in on a heavy boil, cut up an onion and throw the onion bottom and top in along with a bay leaf. Season and I had a good broth in an hour that I strained and threw in the rest of the onion and the meat. Then she proceeded to make way too batter which led to way too many dumplings. I did cheat and use about a half cup of water with some broth starter to round it out.

  35. Bill Door

    So I’m a long time lurker and occasional commenter, though I think I’ve only actually commented five times or so. Anywho, I got this text this evening from “Warren for President” and I’m not sure how they got my information. I thought you fine folks may have some fun responses for the person responsible for sending it to me. This is the text:

    Hi there! It’s Max with Warren for President. Is this [Bill Door]?

    Is it poor form to post the number I got it from here? If so, I’m open to suggestions for a respond.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, it’s probably a bot so Bill should knock ximself out.

      • Bill Door

        Makes sense. I am enjoying the interactions here, so that makes up for it being a probable bot.

        Also, gender pronouns: xe, xim, Xerxes, or Pharaoh.

      • Jarflax

        So Xerxes when you are in Greece and Pharaoh when you are in Israel?

      • Bill Door

        Precisely. I’m a renaissance man. Or something.

      • Mojeaux

        Renaissance man? That would be Borgia.

    • Rebel Scum

      OK, Boomer Tulpa.

      fun responses

      “What are you wearing?”

    • Tres Cool

      Fuck the fuck OFF, Tulpa

    • pistoffnick

      The only acceptable response is “Fuck off, Tulpa!”

    • Festus

      Fuck off, Tulpa! And welcome!

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Respond earnestly, working in more and more obvious native American puns as you go along.

      Something like

      “Hi Max, How! are you? I’m glad to hear that Ms. Warren is here to fight the oppressors! I hope she has the fortitude to womp ’em! While she wasn’t my original choice for the position, I have given my support, and you know I’m not an Indian giver. I just want a great fighter for the little guy, so sioux me. I’d like to contribute financially, because I have a sacajawea waiting in reservation, but I’m afraid I’ll get nothing but beads in return. On the other hand, I casino reason why I can’t puff the peace pipe with Ms. Warren as she finishes this campaign trail of tears. I do enjoy how Cherokee she can get when challenged. Modern politics needs a sassy squaw to go on the warpath. I can’t wait to see her on teepee at the next town hall. Sincerely, Fuck You Cut Spending “

      • KSuellington

        “I casino reason why…”

        I’m somehow working that into a conversation with buddies during the next month or two.

      • Bill Door

        Nice. Thanks Trshmnstr. I casino reason why I shouldn’t borrow some of that. I agree with KSuellington that I’m going to work that in to political conversations when possible.

      • CPRM

        I casino reason

        Someone needs to reprogram this bot.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        maybe a silicon chip inside his head,was switched to overload?

    • westernsloper

      “How did you get my number you stalker. I am reporting this harassment to the FBI.” or “Fuck off Tulpa.”

    • Bill Door

      Thanks to all of you Tulpas!

      Max’s number is (385) 257-3982

      My thoughts had been along the lines of egging him on with some great Indian puns. This should be fun.

      • Rhywun

        Max appears to be from Utah. He will probably not rile easily.

      • Bill Door

        Yeah, Utah is where I am too, so I’m guessing some good for nothing, freeloading relative passed my number along.

      • westernsloper

        Are you using an Iphone? Was it an Imessage?

      • Bill Door

        I am using an iPhone, but it just came through as an SMS.

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      “Max isn’t an indian name”
      And Fuck Off, Door!
      Welcome!

      • Bill Door

        Cheers!

    • CPRM

      I’d like to take this chance to get a Tumpa’s review of the Hat and the Hair cartoons, if I could.

      • CPRM

        And a Tulpa better not correct my misspelling there.

      • Bill Door

        My Tulpa is showing… I’m kinda behind on The Hat and the Hair – The Animated Series. What I have watched is delightfully irreverent, and only occasionally requires brain bleach. I’m a good Mormon boy, so I can’t even wash it away with alc-ie-hol.

      • CPRM

        I know plenty of ‘good mormon boys’ who go to the bar a lot more often than I do.

      • Festus

        Being infested by God-walkers! Damn you Mojo! Damn you to the less nice heaven!

      • CPRM

        God-walkers

        Firewalker?

      • Mojeaux

        Damn you to the less nice heaven!

        I’m totally okay with that!

        Lots of [[[these]]] and (((those))) around here.

      • Bill Door

        How are we supposed to be referring to ourselves? I recognize the (((those))), but I’m not sure about the [[[these]]].

        @CPRM I’ve actually never been to a bar, but I have been to the liquor store a few times. (Cooking with whiskey is like cooking with cough syrup).

      • Festus

        …and you call yourself a lurker…

      • Bill Door

        Huh, in my lurking I hadn’t noticed that this was [[[us]]]. Good to know. And thanks for responding!

      • Bill Door

        Apparently I failed Festus.

      • CPRM

        I don’t think you’ve acquired enough XP to @ me. Poor form. I feel othered and triggered.

        *Guards!* Drag him away.

      • Bill Door

        I guess I should have asked if I could, as well as which gender pronouns you prefer.

        Your guards may drag me out, but I refuse to bow to your meritocratic demands!!!1!!11!

      • Festus

        I knew you’d get it. Lurves ya Mojo!

    • Nephilium

      Shouldn’t you be typing in all caps?

    • RAHeinlein

      Aggravated assault? If this was a Dem tent, it would be a hate crime (BTW, I oppose hate crime legislation).

      • Plinker762

        Domestic terrrorism?

    • Rebel Scum

      “We are investigating this as an aggravated assault,”

      Sounds like a – what’s the term? – “hate-crime”.

    • Spudalicious

      Good think no one was carrying. He wouldn’t have lived past stepping out of the van.

    • westernsloper

      Obviously right wing extremism that Christopher Wray warned us about in a previous link by somebody.

      • CPRM

        The Vindman Bros. fighting for America since 2020.

    • Festus

      Well that was… something?

      • Rebel Scum

        I like that cover.

      • CPRM

        I like the ‘Ice Ice Baby’ when it was actually ironic. This was on Disturbed’s first album, they became lame by their second.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Who wrecked Behind Blue Eyes? it was Disturbed wasn’t it?

      • CPRM

        No, that was Fred Durst.

      • Lord Digby

        It’s always Fred Durst.

        Always.

      • Festus

        “Ah Fredurst. You know I love you but this has got to end…”

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        The band wasn’t good enough to play the Bridge,
        Fucking Amateurs

      • CPRM

        My problem wasn’t even the music; just that Fred Durst sucks at everything.

      • commodious spittoon

        I don’t like it as much as I hate-like their cover of Sound of Silence.

      • Festus

        Gah! Nevar! I do find it refreshing that they were an actual band that actually played musical instruments.

      • Rhywun

        Nice. That album is sooooo good.

    • Rebel Scum

      So Mormons take the mantle of (((them)))?

      • Jarflax

        (((They))) do wealth right. They amass individual wealth in the market. I will not discuss the scurrilous rumor that the reason there isn’t a massive pool of (((endowment))) is that no group of (((Jews))) larger than about 100 can exist without schisming…

      • Sensei

        Well (((they))) if you exclude Israel aren’t centralized like the RCC and the Mormons.

    • Festus

      “Don’t be mean to a Mormon, never make fun of a Jew!”

      • Festus

        ^^^ gets it

      • Lord Digby

        But, what about the Irish??

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Not the Irish!

    • egould310

      I like auditing Mormon owned/operated companies. Their books are usually pretty clean, and everyone is actually nice and helpful.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Heh. Not shabby.

    • Festus

      “We didn’t build that!”

    • CPRM

      Just wait until Elon executes Order 66 and Teslas kill all the Jedi.

      • LJW

        Gonna have to do it before the company collapses under it’s debt. Or maybe that’s when it will happen?

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Hayek hurt most…

    • CPRM

      a fresh air filter

      For why?

      • Festus

        For Gaia and soccer moms.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        To keep the Evaporator coil clean, not for your stupid human breathing…

    • Rhywun

      Today I discovered one of my Steam games has been “removed”.

      Shitty behavior.

      • Jarflax

        I really dislike the subscription based model everything is going to recently. Let me buy a license and be done with it.

      • Rhywun

        Yeap, Steam games and Kindle books are the only areas where I have tolerated it up till now – and this is making me reconsider that.

      • Mojeaux

        Getting your Kindle books off your device is a bitch (although I have a way around that). You have Apprentice Alf’s scripts, though, right? We’ve talked about this before.

      • l0b0t

        OOOh, I want to pick your brain about this topic. With my impending Ragnarok, I will no longer be under wifey’s Amazon Prime. How do I migrate my books to (ideally) my own hard drives, or my own Amazon account?

      • Mojeaux

        Well, even licenses can be temporary (see digital products when their platform goes kaput or the thing has been withdrawn from use).

        If I want to own a movie, I buy the DVD. If I want to own an ebook, I buy and download the file to my hard drive. If I want to own a song, I buy and download the file to my hard drive.

        I don’t trust the media not to disappear if someone else is keeping it for me.

      • Rhywun

        Right there with you on movies and music. I need to wean myself off Kindle as we have discussed in the past 🙂

      • Mojeaux

        Jinx!

      • Jarflax

        Those are all licenses. 🙂

      • Mojeaux

        I misstated my position.

        I know they are licenses. I don’t want a license to use it. I want the thing so that the thing I paid a license for does not go bye-bye.

        “Well, you only paid for a license, not the actual file. We’re taking that away now.”

      • Rhywun

        Technically, yup. But practically speaking, it’s DRM and phoning home that’s the bitch.

      • Mojeaux

        The phoning home just pisses me right the hell off.

        And getting files off an Android phone? (Never mind putting them ON.)

        The hell of a 1,000 folders deep.

      • CPRM

        Yeah, I’m having lots of fun laughing at people who own a ‘digital copy’ How long will any any of these services survive? No one knows. But I bought it on Movies.digital.com for $7,000, why come it no longer exist!?

      • Festus

        My kids bought me a first gen Kindle and I HATED it. Now I watch videos until I nod off.

      • CPRM

        I bought a kindle for my uncle who was 88 under my account. When he passed my 80 yr old aunt started reading on it voraciously. She canceled her internet, so now I have to not only order all the books, but I have to physically bring the kindle back to my house so it can download the books. I’d order her some of Mo’s books, except I don’t want to think about my 80 yr old aunt reading that kind of smut. (no offense Mo, I’d put everything I write here in the smut category as well, I’m prudish)

      • Mojeaux

        No offense taken.

        You might have the most wonderful pizza in the world, but there’s always going to be somebody who doesn’t like pizza.

      • egould310

        “… but there’s always going to be somebody who doesn’t like pizza.”

        Only an asshole doesn’t like pizza.

      • Lord Digby

        Wouldn’t it depend on how hot the toppings are?

      • CPRM

        One of the local cheap frozen pizzas around here (the birth place of frozen pizza) used to put the cheese over the toppings, which meant you burnt your tongue every damn bite.

      • Lord Digby

        Oh, I wasn’t talking about food temperature.

        Or, the mouth.

      • CPRM

        This is why you’re my bestest glib friend. I like working as a comedy duo.

      • Rhywun

        Heh. The game I mentioned just above is related to your avatar.

  36. commodious spittoon

    Follow me extrusion is FUCKING MAGIC when it works except when it doesn’t which is ALWAYS, in which case it’s SHIT.

    • Chafed

      This sex talk is confusing.

      • Festus

        Most sex talk is confusing, even for those of us in advanced years. *holds up ear-horn*

    • CPRM

      Laughed too hard at the headline to ruin it by reading the actual story.

  37. Some Random Asshole pt 15

    Spud, do i have your Email? I can’t find it….
    I will have details Monday at noon, the numbers that were quoted to me ended up higher than the owner will sell it to me, this is good,

    • Spudalicious

      Yes, you do. We talked back and forth a couple of weeks ago. It’s also in your Paypal account. cableone dot net is the extension.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        ahh Paypal, thanks, I’ll shoot you a mail,

  38. Mojeaux

    I am organizing my mementos. Right now, I’m putting all past greeting cards (that I want to keep) onto those little ring thingies, which requires that I punch holes in the cards. I am at once impressed with my grip strength in punching these holes and dismayed that I have grown a bruise on my palm.

    • Festus

      I have a box of mementos ready to be consigned to the fire. Old report cards, letters from long-ago girlfriends and the like. That shit has got to go.

      • Mojeaux

        Looking through mine always surprises me. A whole lot of people like me a lot more than I like me.

      • MikeS

        *gets in line*

      • Mojeaux

        Awwwww… *blush*

      • Festus

        There is that but why hang onto that stuff? Most of mine is second or third rate and doesn’t really bring me much joy , more a little bit of sadness. Lucky for me it all lives in one bin. So long past!

      • CPRM

        After 5 years I still can’t look at a picture of my dad without crying, but that doesn’t mean I want to throw them out. I know my relationship with my dad was different than anyone else here, but I still prefer to hang on to things too long than regret losing them.

      • Festus

        My brother in a fit of pique tore up all my art. The rest of it got damaged in a shed flood. I’ve got one piece left that I gave to a friend that she gave back, years later. I was goooood.

      • Mojeaux

        but why hang onto that stuff?

        I do not know, but I do.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I’m trying figure out what to toss and what to keep as well, But I can’t do it yet…

      • Festus

        My young self’s trophies got burnt up about 20 years ago. I did keep the one from the time I hit a Hole in One. That was pretty magical. I’ll never forget that evening. It was the same night that Cheers broad-cast their last episode and I couldn’t feature why there were so many people at the local. “Hey! I got a hole in one! Shut up! Cheers is on!” Story of my life.

      • egould310

        I watched the last episode of Cheers at a bar on Main Street in Huntington Beach, CA. I was drunk, stoned on weed, and zoomed out of of my skull on crystal meth.

        Later we went over to a recording studio and watched some dudes recording some album.

      • Festus

        Sounds about right for 1993. I was pretty straight-edge back then but don’t really remember driving home that night.

      • Rhywun

        May 1993. Jeebus. I was knee-deep in trying to get my BA. Dunno if I ever saw it.

      • Festus

        I never watched it. I was too much about babbling and pretty shit-faced.

      • Spudalicious

        That isn’t bad.

      • #5

        I’ll take that a compliment…

  39. straffinrun

    Those ? look great. #Nolunchtoobusy

    • CPRM

      Lunch? That was like 11hrs ago, heathen.

      • MikeS

        But he does currently have arguably the best avatar ever here.

      • Gustave Lytton

        He’d just be hungry again in an hour.

    • CPRM

      Wood.

      • egould310

        Aw hell yeah. Wood.

      • Festus

        Sure, if Mom does the laundry.

    • Rhywun

      Goth chick death cult? C’mon, that can’t be real.

      • Jarflax

        You incurable optimist you.

    • CPRM

      Anyone have a link to that AOC supporter talking about eating babies? That would fit here.

      • Lord Digby

        Or, possibly, in our pizza convo.

    • Rebel Scum

      Lucky for her most people died because of net neutrality and the stragglers were killed in Drumpf’s nuclear holocaust.

      • Lord Digby

        Unlucky for us, she wasn’t.

  40. Lord Digby

    Well, I take it my post wasn’t approved.

    • CPRM

      OMWC and SP’s throuple strikes again!

    • straffinrun

      Can you post it in the comments? We can pretend it’s a new post.

      • Lord Digby

        Too many links. I could break it up, I suppose….

      • CPRM

        Good luck. I’m tapping out though.

      • Vacuous

        What were tonight’s suggested discussion topics?

      • Lord Digby

        Same thing as every night, Pinky–shitty politicians (but, I repeat myself), criminals, and a request for any Canucki, or, Canuckistan-adjacent glibs who might be able to score me some Moon Mist ice cream.

        The usual.

    • Spudalicious

      Sorry, dude. I don’t have those powers.

      • Lord Digby

        No sweat, and, thank you anyways.

      • Festus

        I kinda wish that it doesn’t happen. A man can only get so erect.

      • Lord Digby

        ?? The Night Shift posts? I mean, I guess that explains why you tap out so early these days…

        i dunno; I guess I could try to un-sexy them. For you. ❤️❤️❤️

      • Festus

        Come on! Saturday nights alright for grey-beards? Jesus, we have prostate troubles but really? It’s hard to stay up that long and work a double-shift on Sunday. Friday is a better choice.

      • Lord Digby

        So, not a fan of the Saturday night version?

      • #5

        where are you? look down, I’m posting…
        jeez

      • Lord Digby

        Yes, and I am appreciative, even if it isn’t my actual post.

        I was asking Festus, specifically, based on the Friday comment.

      • Lord Digby

        even if THIS isn’t my actual post.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I’m here, where are you?

      • Lord Digby

        I’m looking up chinese dao swords. F’n Amazon store that I ordered from on DEC 28TH!!! still hasn’t arrived, and the final arrival date is the 11th!

        F’n commie shipping bastards….

      • #5

        That’s a fucking Ebay style shipping time,
        Fuckers…

      • Lord Digby

        I’m actually more worried buying form ebay–at least with Amazon, they handled the transaction, and have guarantees. With ebay, I’d have to rely on paypal’s guarantees, and I’m not sure I am ready to do that.

        That said, I can find some terrific swords through ebay…

        /it’s the shipping I’m worried about at this point. Not even ready for quality concerns…

      • Festus

        It’s actually hard for me to stay up this late on Saturday. Double shift Sunday will become a “thing” again next week. Maybe when I have to retire I can play all the live long day. I love what you are doing but I can’t keep up. I just cant.

      • Lord Digby

        Well, yeah! Doubles really only help in tennis and drinks. I am virtually required to do this on Saturdays–if I want to be able to sleep Sunday, and make it to work.

        Get some rest, and kick double asses tomorrow.

    • egould310

      Noice!

    • Festus

      Heh. I watch that stuff for somnolence.

    • Bill Door

      I really like their song “In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company.” I’ve been listening to them quite a bit this week, actually. They’re good for Canuckistanis (no offense to the Canadians who frequent here).

      • #5

        they are canucks? wow pretty good work…

      • Bill Door

        Yeah, I found that out this week from Wikipedia. The song I linked below shows a lot of shots of Canada.

      • DEG

        Yep, Canucks.

  41. #5

    If my songs become my freedom,
    and my freedom turns to gold,
    then I’ll ask the final question,
    if the answer could be sold,

  42. #5

    AAAnd everybody left, ohh well….

    • Lord Digby

      Ducking in and out, but, still in for the count ?

      • Festus

        Still here, still drunk, still mending.

      • Lord Digby

        Like the Musketeers, up in here!

    • #5

      and wierd Al on lead vocals

      • Lord Digby

        I thought that’s what that was! It really is quite good, and Weird Al is a great singer.

      • #5

        I hated the Toto version, there’s is quite good

  43. #5

    And she’s in isolation, I can’t kiss her, or stroke her hair, or anything physical, it’s breaking my heart

    • #5

      Sweeps hand to the floor,

      • #5

        Carlos Alamar chewing gum, classic

  44. #5

    All of my songs posted are about lonely people, fitting I suppose, You guys don’t count

    • Lord Digby

      You guys don’t count

      Which is why I feel comfortable here.

      • Festus

        Some people love you Diggy! Even cis-het shitlords.

      • Lord Digby

        My milkshake brings all the shitlords to the yard

      • Lord Digby

        I guess all the shitlords had to go puke…

    • Gustave Lytton

      Poor Lord Tennyson…

      (Not taking away anything from Iron Maiden)

      • #5

        the 21st Lancers were Fucked, bad info led to bad field calls, and they all died, Hard

    • #5

      +1000 gated reverb

  45. #5

    Now I’m talking to myself, OUT!

  46. Festus

    So Wifey gets home from work tonight and I say “Whelp, dinner’s about done!” and she basically pats me on the top of the head and says “Yes, Dear, you usually are…”

    • Festus

      I dunno. Seemed funny as hell to me.

    • Lord Digby

      Good, or, bad? Not sure how to parse that.

      /negatively, on my side of things

      • Gustave Lytton

        I saw patting, so going with good.

      • Lord Digby

        Well, could have condescension intended.

    • #5

      Good Doggie, if your doing it right,

  47. Mojeaux

    Yanno, I’ve said a lot of bad things about my dad to you guys and my kids, and what I’ve said is true. I know that my kids are going to have a lot of awful things to say about me to their friends and therapists and I guess that’s the way things go.

    I’ve been sorting mementos tonight (yes, Festus, I threw a few things away), but what I didn’t know I had was a bunch of my dad’s college papers (eh, C work) (he did better with creative writing) and a commendation he got at work which I had never seen before and made me see the professional him. I knew what he did at work, but I didn’t know what he DID.

    There were also a lot of letters he had written to me when I would go visit my grandmother a few hours away. We had a good relationship when I was a child. Then something bad happened* and that was gone forever.

    *He took me to work with him one day. I think I was 11 or 12 or something. I was bored. He was put of the office. I was snooping. I found his Playboys and he caught me gaping at them. He got mad and we didn’t speak for the rest of the day. Our relationship pretty much turned on a dime that day.

    No, I never told my mother.

    • #5

      you are strange Mo,that’s why we Love you…

      • Mojeaux

        Good heavens! I’d be offended if you thought I was normal!

      • Lord Digby

        I got the “I think I won!” call this morning from mom, thinking she had won a $1K Wally-world gift card. No, that’s a scam–Walmart didn’t get to be where they are by handing out grands here and there.

        Eh, at least she called about it, instead of trying to get it.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      I guess I missed the paternal complaints to the Glibs. Mo, that sounds bizarre. Both that he would keep them at work (I guess home wasn’t safe?) but more that he would get angry at you and especially remain so.

      I’m trying in vain to find the Roseanne scene where Becky is caught looking at Dan’s girlie mags. In fact your present home life in general sounds a lot like early Roseanne, before it became cruel and/or bizarre.

      • Mojeaux

        I never watched the old Roseanne, so I don’t know what that means. I just know I’m trying to not be/feel/think so very white trash.

        I think my dad was ashamed I found them (he was a prude) and scared to death I’d tell my mom. But I would never have told my mom (still haven’t) because it would hurt HER. I believe, although I do not KNOW, that he held that against me for years, both his shame and the fact that I KNEW.

        But looking back, I can see that that is the day our good relationship went sour.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Yeah, reading between the lines that sounds like what happened. Most families there would be a little mutual unstated embarrassment and then an implicit agreement never to mention it again.

        Early Rosey is awesome! Nudie mags scene is from Little Sister (S2.2) but the entire episode that reminds me of your battles with teenage wills is No Talking (2.12). https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5tqu0n

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        (Even though she was and is crazy. Bless her heart, she had a TBI — and apparently a personality change — after being hit by a car as a teen.)

  48. #5

    Holy shit, it’s nearly 2 in the morning, why am I awake?

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Caffeine? Anxiety?

  49. hayeksplosives

    No night shift? Whatever shall we do??

    • Lord Digby

      Inorite??

      • hayeksplosives

        Inorite.=nonsense

  50. hayeksplosives

    I have had an emotional and difficult week, with a lovely background of joy.
    Had biopsy Wednesday on a 1 inch breast lump (Still in pathology but doc says I good) , my cousin is on breast cancer radiology 3 of 17, I have no voice and apparently my immune system wants to kill me.

    But I live in the greatest countty in the history of the earth, and I the best possible timeline.

    So imma just chill.

    • Lord Digby

      You lost your voice?? Wha’happen?

      • hayeksplosives

        Don’t know why I’m so hoarse! Had a cold but that was 3 weeks ago.

        No idea why I can’t talk now.

      • Lord Digby

        Well, you’ve got your hands, and that’s working splendidly.

        BTW, why not nip ’round for tea?

    • hayeksplosives

      The joy background was having the stepsons and one likely daughter in law here. Great fun. Tomorrow they fly home y to o Minnesota. We will miss them.