Sunday Morning Food Coma Links

by | Feb 16, 2020 | Daily Links | 200 comments

Unnnnnngggggghhhhhh. Typing is hard. Too much effort and noise. Long dinner last night with too many courses, too much food, far too much alcohol. OK, not TOO much alcohol but… OK too much. We’re all in a food coma right now and I’m afraid that the morning links might show it. Not just the humans, but the dogs that were here.

If I see any birthday cake, I’m gonna hurl. Fortunately, great birthdays today are thinner than usual, but let’s not forget the coiner of a famous stock phrase in biology; a guy who was famous for his lips moving; the greatest TV dad ever (and whom my father tried to pattern his parenting after, but his kids were not Beaver and Wally); the reason why all politicians should ski more; the guy who made air filters famous; a perfect example of Trump picking his enemies wisely (and I love Wikipedia’s bland description of “American attorney and pundit”); and of course, The Bus.

And also, of course, the news:

 

A follow-up to everyone’s favorite story.

 

The inevitable result of legalized weed.

 

Louisiana is near Florida, after all.

 

“…and just before he died, we told him that Trump had been impeached.”

 

News of the Weird.

 

News of the Weirder. 

 

I can’t roll my eyes as well as SP does, but this bit of PR hype to sell a stupid book almost worked. So stunning! So brave! What a cunte.

 

Old Guy Music honors an Old Guy whom I must have, no exaggeration, seen a hundred times in concert. For years and years, we’d go to any show he’d play in Baltimore, DC, and Philly. And every one of them was a total delight. Talked with him numerous times as well, and HE was a total delight. We even saw him in Salt Lake City right around the time of this video. This is as good as music gets.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

200 Comments

  1. JD is Unemployed

    Morning bathroom breaks are for whatever I damned well please! Fuck off, slaver!

    /no context

    • Tres Cool

      +2 Scheiß……oh, forget it

  2. Don Escaped Texas

    If the British has only given Washington a commission, a very different arc follows. Theirs was the smart play based on his resume: that he would lead a decade-long resistance that would climax with some Agincourtesque debacle on a peninsula in Virginia was was a safely minuscule prospect.

    • Fourscore

      Learned today that politicians lie. My youth will never be the same

      • Fourscore

        Sonny ran into problems with the city over licensing, he could have went lib but instead decided to join ’em. He should have taken advantage of cheap ski lessons as well as cheap Congressional haircuts. Instead the people got the haircuts

  3. JD is Unemployed

    A friend of mine once referred to Dizzy Gillespie, dismissively, as “the Acker Bilk of the trombone [sic]“. I’m not sure what his problem with either of those two performers was, but he should at least have been able to correctly identify a trumpet. I hang with the smart crowd.

    • JD is Unemployed

      No I remembered that wrong – it was Louis Armstrong he didn’t like. I’m not sure he was a huge fan of Dizzy, either. He’s a lefty so let’s just assume he’s afraid of black guys with trumpets.

  4. Trigger Hippie

    “This virus is transmitted from horse to horse through fecal oral transmission,” so there is little to no chance that humans can contract this disease from a horse, officials say.

    German porn says: “Hold my beir”.

    • Trigger Hippie

      *bier*

      God, I hate autocorrect,

      • Ted S.

        [holds TH’s catafalque]

    • JD is Unemployed

      +3 Pferdpr0n

  5. Gender Traitor

    Chicks know that what LeVar Burton/Geordi La Forge did was find a higher and better use for that stupidest of hair accessories, the banana comb.

    OMWC just didn’t know this because SP always wears pigtails held up with Scuncis.

    • Ted S.

      I remember making that comment back in the 80s.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      I clicked. Now Bezos thinks I have hair?

    • Ted S.

      because SP always wears pigtails held up with Scuncis.

      sksksksksksk

      • Atanarjuat

        sksksksksksk

        I still have only seen this used on here. Never in the wild.

        I can follow most of the Twitterisms (eg, TIL = “today I learned” ion = “I don’t”, dead ass = dead serious, etc) I come across. I wonder though, if I could see social media from, say, 25 years in the future how incomprehensible it would be.

  6. Ted S.

    the greatest TV dad ever

    Relevant

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’ve Been trying To Figure Out To Classify This Particular Example Of Intersectional Whataboutism For An Hour, But I Just Keep Thinking ‘DERP’

    We absolutely must strengthen the enforcement of existing conservation laws, but we must also acknowledge our own hypocrisy. In addition to the aforementioned social media posts of “pangolin revenge,” there has also been a flurry of posts expressing disgust about Chinese cultural culinary traditions, such as the consumption of bats, snakes, cats and dogs.

    Here in the U.S., most people seem to believe that it’s perfectly acceptable to slaughter and eat cows, but it’s considered taboo for people to eat horses, which are considered to be more noble and companionable. And yet, the U.S. has been exporting tens of thousands of live horses annually to slaughterhouses in Canada and Mexico for human and animal consumption overseas. Even though we’ve been supplying horses for people to eat elsewhere, we continue to publicly shame this culinary practice in the U.S. Adjusting our standards of morally acceptable behaviors based on economic profit is elitist hypocrisy.

    • AlmightyJB

      Being a collectivist means perpetually saying stupid shit like this.

    • Atanarjuat

      Well, the people who are vocally disgusted by the concept of eating a horse probably aren’t the ones involved in shipping them over there.

      On a side note, due to the coronavirus I’ve changed my mind about my plan to release some of those adorable disease vectors called pangolins so that they could be the newest invasive scourge of the Everglades.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Hey Doc, I Got This Friend With A Problem

    Beware of a scam promising you several million dollars, a Mercedes and a gold card paying $10,000 a month. They called a family member’s relative who finally sent them $5,000 and the relative never heard of anything after that.

    • Fourscore

      Too local, damn it!

    • l0b0t

      One of the better story-arc stubs from 30 Rock involved Tracey Jordan and his crew making a fortune by actually helping the Nigerian prince move his money out of Africa.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    An African-American model at a Fashion Institute of Technology runway show says she was pressured to wear bizarre, “racist” accessories like “monkey ears” and oversized lips.

    But at least she got a technical degree.

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    Why am I awake right now?

    • Spudalicious

      I was asking myself that same question at about that at same time.

  11. Tulip

    OMWC and SP are amazing hosts. I’m looking forward to seeing SP’s rusty can lid collection

    • Old Man With Candy

      The fact that you’re already up tells me that we failed.

    • SP

      As funny, interesting and charming as you are here, I was still unprepared for the Real Life Tulip. Just delightful company. You should move out here.

  12. Don Escaped Texas

    I know I've said this before but I'll say it again: CADDYSHACK is not actually a very good movie. It does however have one all-time classic line that will live forever: "You'll get nothing and like it!"— Esoteric Jeff (@EsotericCD) February 16, 2020

    This is the proper use of twitter: discussing defensible ways to think about Caddyshack. See what all you never-twitter™ folk are missing.

    • MikeS

      “Esoteric Jeff” is obviously a garbage human being.

      • Gender Traitor

        Is he garbage or trash?

      • MikeS

        I was soooo hoping someone would ask that!

        And, as always, the correct answer is “garbage”.

      • Gender Traitor

        Our Supreme Overlord may beg demand to differ.

    • Grummun

      CADDYSHACK [sic] is not actually a very good movie.

      And after that, you can safely ignore anything “Esoteric Jeff” has to say, because this is so wrong, it cannot but be the result of some cognitive defect that must taint all if his other thinking.

      • Chafed

        You’re too kind. He clearly has no soul.

    • Mookman

      Yeah, so what?

      • C. Anacreon

        So let’s dance!

  13. Gender Traitor

    Gee, here I was all excited that The History Channel was actually going to have some history programming. If that Washington bio writer was involved, I’m not so sure I’m interested. I may check it out, but there’s always the chance the evening XFL game will go into OT. Go BattleHawks!

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The fact that you’re already up tells me that we failed.

    You locked her in the basement, but for got to take her phone?

    • Old Man With Candy

      She was disappointed you weren’t here.

      • Tulip

        I am, but that’s ok. They gave me your address. *flutters eye lashes*

        I can’t wait to meet you

      • Old Man With Candy

        When he least expects it.

      • Tundra
  15. Rufus the Monocled

    My favourite performance for a father was Fred MacMurray in The Apartment.

    • l0b0t

      Fred MacMurray is awesome. I might cast a vote for Tony Curtis in 40 Pounds Of Trouble.

      • dbleagle

        He was very effective in “The Caine Mutiny” as the troublemaker who keeps their own skirt clean.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        He does sleaze well. Father of the year candidate in Some Like it Hot and Sweet Smell of Success spring to mind.

      • MikeS

        My favorite is probably Double Indemnity

      • MikeS

        Whoops…I still have Fred MacMurray on my mind.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Great flick.

      • Ted S.

        You should see The Boston Strangler.

      • Old Man With Candy

        One of my all time favorites. It was a pity that Hollywood eviscerated Greenwald’s speech, but still.

      • dbleagle

        The movie needed ten more minutes. The book was fantastic and you see the Fred McM character get his due in the end off of Okinawa. The movie needed to tie those ends up.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      Jimmy Stewart in Shenandoah

      • Rufus the Monocled

        That scene at the end though. I saw that was a kid and it still bothers me!

  16. Rufus the Monocled

    Wait. Nevada. It’s where Reno and Vegas are located, right? The last outpost of renegade capitalism and gangsterism. Its the place where Johnny Cash shot a man just to watch him die.

    That state is going full retard for Bernie Sanders?

    Who for me is a cereal box character. Coo-coo for cocoa puffs.

    • Fourscore

      One would think that NV would be a western outpost of deplorables but somehow it (they) caught the Coastal Fever.

    • AlmightyJB

      Mob – Union Racketeering – Bernie. Not that out of bounds.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Those are not monkey lips, those are nightmare sexbot lips.

    Geez.

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    Fashionista: We’re gonna need you to go ahead and wear there.
    Model: What are they?
    Fashionista: It’s a Jungle Fever Nigger kit.
    Model:
    Fashionista: Is there a problem? it’s the lips right? I knew they were too red! I said to go with a more subtle tone!
    Model:
    Fashionista: Not the lips? Oh, the ears…..right. They bring a porch monkey vibe.
    Model:
    Fashionista: Forget it. Where this Baby Serial killer mask.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      wear

    • Fourscore

      Where is the Baby Momma mask?

    • Nephilium

      porch monkey

      We’re taking it back!

      /Randal

  19. The Late P Brooks

    “I was literally shaking. I could not control my emotions. My whole body was shaking. I have never felt like that in my life,” she said. “People of color are struggling too much in 2020 for the promoters not to have vetted and cleared accessories for the shows.”

    Oh. Okay, then.

    • SDF-7

      I would so like to transport someone from the 1960s to chat with them… or the 1860s… or the 1760s… or just about any other freaking time on planet Earth, ninnies!

  20. Mojeaux

    Thanks to l0b0t, I have a movie to watch! I’m excited because there are hardly any movies that I remember having said, “I want to see that.” Mr. Mojeaux won 5 Redbox codes and I’m not sire I can be arsed to go get the movies before 2/29 (expiration).

    • l0b0t

      You’re most welcome. I have many terabytes of media and I love to share. Please let me know if you are looking for anything else.

      • Shirley Knott

        Highly unlikely, but I have to ask — I’ve been looking for a copy of the German movie Flammende Herzen. As far as I’ve been able to determine, it’s never been officially released on DVD.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    “This program protects a student’s freedom to craft their own personal and unique artistic perspectives as designers, to be even what some would consider to be provocative, so that they find that voice,” FIT president Dr. Joyce F. Brown told The Post. “However provocative design and fashion might be though, my commitment to ensure that people are not made to feel uncomfortable, offended, or intimidated is also of the utmost importance not only to me personally but to the college community as well. We take this obligation very, very seriously and will investigate and take appropriate action regarding any complaint or concern that is made in this situation.”

    You can be as daring, edgy and provocative as you want. But whatever you do, don’t offend the wrong people.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    My favourite performance for a father was Fred MacMurray in The Apartment.

    Is there something you’d like to share, Mister Muppet?

    *Guy who has seen The Apartment

  23. Shirley Knott

    Something quirky that some of you might enjoy. I particularly recommend Ekilore and Petit Pas, but it’s all quirky goodness 😉

  24. The Late P Brooks

    She was disappointed you weren’t here.

    I can be incredibly disappointing. Especially in person.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Hey, 14 seconds ought to be enough.

    • Tulip

      You could never disappoint me sweetie

      • juris imprudent

        What if he actually responded with a threaded comment?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Naysayers

    Bernie Sanders’ staying power atop the 2020 field has Democratic insiders in Texas on edge: They’re worried nominating the Vermont senator would kneecap their hard-fought campaign to flip the Texas state house.

    Putting a self-proclaimed democratic socialist at the top of the ticket would squander a prime opportunity to seize statehouse seats — and congressional districts — that have long been out of reach, robbing the party of a hand in next year’s crucial redistricting process, more than a half-dozen Democratic candidates, activists and political consultants said in interviews.

    “There is overall uncertainty which is growing. The real fear for Texas D’s remains Sanders,” Bill Miller, a longtime Austin lobbyist who has worked with both Democrats and Republicans, said of a Sanders ticket. “’We’d be fucked’ — that’s what they’re saying. The drain at the top goes down to the bottom.”

    ——-

    Sanders’ rising progressive agenda and the leftward march of Democrats like Elizabeth Warren has divided the party here about how to succeed and what lessons to divine from years of electoral losses born out of deploying untested strategies they hope will transform Texas into a battleground state.

    “Sanders is a complete disaster and Warren is a complete-disaster-lite,” said Texas-based campaign consultant Jeff Hewitt, who has been working in Democratic politics since he served on Clinton-Gore’s campaign team in the 1990s. “At the end of the day, most of us want to win.”

    Oh, come on, everybody loves ol’ Grandpa Crazypants. Those fucking hilljacks don’t ever know what their best interests are.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      The drain at the top goes down to the bottom.” That’s pretty much how they are supposed to work……Morons

    • Rhywun

      “We need to pretend to be centrist so we can win before we can go ahead with the same policies as Bern.”

      • AlmightyJB

        Exactly. It’s pathetic.

    • MikeS

      Putting a self-proclaimed democratic socialist at the top of the ticket…

      Stop with this bullshit. He’s a self-proclaimed socialist. Full stop.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        leave it , it looks better,
        Democratic
        Socialist
        Workers/unions
        Party, they are a political party
        Spell it out,

      • Fatty Bolger

        What could go better together than socialism and democracy? It’s like mixing shit with ice cream, you end up with something delicious, right?

      • MikeS

        Hey! You got ice cream in my shit!

        /Bernie

      • CPRM

        I don’t care what they say, that right ther is some funny shit.

    • leon

      “that have long been out of reach, robbing the party of a hand in next year’s crucial redistricting process,”

      When the Dems do it, nine dare call it gerrymandering

      • R C Dean

        If only the Nine would call it gerrymandering.

      • Rhywun

        heh

    • Don Escaped Texas

      Bernie would be an electoral catastrophe. There is zero enthusiasm for his platform in most of America, in most demographics, and turnout would remain low. He would cause massive losses down-ticket in precisely the purpling states that Team Blue hopes to shift, hopes to take, hopes to squeak out. The only thing that Bernie can accomplish is making McConnell Lord Chamberlain for Life.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Some progressive entrants to Texas politics agree, saying it’s more about packaging ideas in a way that appeals to the state’s voters.

    “When we are introducing these policy ideas, I don’t start off with Medicare for All,” said Jessica Cisneros, a progressive who is challenging Cuellar in the Democratic primary. We talk about “this idea of having health care as a right, so we wouldn’t have to lose a loved one.”

    Despite their clashes over ideology, Democrats in Texas do agree on at least one point: the top of the Republican ticket will motivate many voters.

    “Texas is obviously not the Bronx,” said George Shipley, a Democratic operative in Austin, who was once an adviser to Gov. Ann Richards. “Texas is very resistant to the type of social programs Bernie offers, but the devil is not Bernie, the devil is Trump.”

    Those dummies can’t read between the lines about our plans to completely upend the health insurance market. They’ll swallow that “fairness” stuff hook, line and sinker. And Texans all secretly fear and despise Trump.

    Keep telling yourselves that. Everything will fall your way, you can be sure of it.

    • Gender Traitor

      “We’ve gotten too caught up in partisan support. Now we’re paying attention. There is a huge uprising. People had to lose their jobs to find out what it was.”

      ‘Bout freakin’ time, ya morons.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        “When I came from Peru, I automatically voted Democrat, I didn’t think this would happen”

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      I signed a ballot petition to repeal that the other day.

      Similar thing with rent control: CA voters amazingly had the sense to thrash that measure (61% nay, IIRC) but Gov. Gruesome foisted it on us anyway.

      • Rhywun

        NYS is poised to impose universal rent control. Right now it only applies to old buildings in NYC with six units or more. Mind you, in many parts of the state you can’t give apartments away but we must do this now, you see.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        SMBD;TIS;TWMDT (“Something must be done”, yada yada.)

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        62% against.

        Also, 4.5m Californians voted for Trump.

    • AlmightyJB

      First they came for the gig-workers. Somehow I don’t think California Democrats have anything to worry about. They’ll still be getting voted in when people are eating out of dumpsters. They’ll just promise to prog harder.

      • Nephilium

        It’s the fault of that one Republican who still managed to get on the ballot! BLAME HIM!

    • mindyourbusiness

      …Something about a government powerful enough to do things for you being powerful enough to do things to you…

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Nice. Chuck Todd is feeding Joe Biden pablum with a spoon.

    “Isn’t it true Donald Trump is the most evilest and horrifyingly despicable person ever to steal the Oval Office?”

    “Yes, Chuck, he is.”

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Oh, now they’re talking about Bloomberg. The skeletons will emerge from that closet doing the Can-can.

  29. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    And “How you doin’?” to our chick libertarians here this morning!

    I hope your puppy found what he was looking for in that bin. Or is he asleep?

    Either way, I’m glad you all had a wonderful evening, even if the payback is a little harsh.

    Great song! Dizzy sure seemed like a nicer dude than Miles.

    Have a great day, y’all!

    • Gender Traitor

      And “How you doin’?” to our chick libertarians here this morning!

      Doin’ great, thanks for asking! Confronting the challenge of typing around the cat on my lap. How ’bout you?

      • Tundra

        Enjoying some coffee and trying to psyche myself up to go a walkin’.

        Maybe one more cup…

  30. The Late P Brooks

    “I’m an excellent driver candidate.”

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Whut? Misogyny in the Berniebot ranks?

    Root them out. Purge them!

    • Gender Traitor

      You’re either a very strong person or a masochist to subject yourself to this torture every Sunday morning.

  32. westernsloper

    Why is Wonder Dog sleeping in the trash can?

    • MikeS

      Garbage can

      • Gender Traitor
      • MikeS

        Ha-ha! Exactly what I thought it would be.

      • Gender Traitor

        Can’t beat the classics.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Who knew she could sing so prettily?

      • MikeS

        Hahahaha. That’s great.

      • westernsloper

        “Hey Oscar, they said you was hung”
        “They was right!”

    • Tundra

      Oh, like you’ve never woken up in a dumpster after a rowdy night out.

      • westernsloper

        I have only ever woken up behind dumpsters never in them. What do you take me for?

      • AlmightyJB

        Waking up outside is why I quit drinking Long Island’s when I was younger.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Hey! I’m nothing if not accommodating when guests have a bit too much to drink.

      • Spudalicious

        #metoo

        I’ll even give them a blanket before taking them out to the garbage cans in the garage.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    You’re either a very strong person or a masochist to subject yourself to this torture every Sunday morning.

    Torture, or amusement? You decide.

    Here’s a question: Whose voice is more grating- Warren or Klobuchar?

    The prospect of listening to either sets my teeth on edge.

    • MikeS

      Misogynist!!!11!!

  34. The Late P Brooks

    I think K takes the lead in incoherent analogies.

    • AlmightyJB

      I don’t know. I find Warren’s “I’ll say anything to get elected” coupled with her total cluelessness to be worse.

  35. Atanarjuat

    The incident helped lead to a wider war between Britain and France known here as the French and Indian War and as the Seven Years War in Europe. The conflict eventually drew in Austria, Germany, Prussia, Russia, Spain and Sweden, and the fighting spread to colonial land on three continents.

    “At the age of 22, Washington had committed a political misstep of global consequence,” writes Coe. “If the American Revolution had not taken place, Washington would probably be remembered today as the instigator of humanity’s first world war, one that lasted seven years.”

    Step aside, Franz Ferdinand.

    • Atanarjuat

      Damn it. Gavrilo Princip.

    • R C Dean

      Honestly, that sounds like it was almost the real First World War. If Russia had thrown in, I don’t see how it wouldn’t be.

      • Atanarjuat

        Apparently they did, and the Great War didn’t have a front in North America either, unless you count going after Atlantic shipping.

      • R C Dean

        Now I see them on the list.

        So how is that not WWI?

      • CPRM

        My guess would be because it wasn’t one large war, just a bunch of interconnected wars. No side A vs Side B as it were.

      • robc

        30 years war?

      • dbleagle

        The American Revolution was a world war as well. As far as the Brits are concerned, the last shots were two years after Yorktown between English troops and the French in India. I read a damn good book on the American Revolution from the Brit perspective that was published about 50 years ago. I am stuck in DC without access to my “wall of history” so I can’t tell you the details.

  36. Fourscore

    It seems to me that the Demo candidates are attempting to divide by the unabashed appeals to particular groups, at the denigration of others. Much like Affirmative Action is a divider by appealing to those that will benefit and forgetting the rest.

    Socialism=lipstick on a pig. A little socialism and a little inflation but somehow we are promised a different result. I’m glad I’m old.

  37. westernsloper

    When Sky’s accident was first reported, it was unclear if the club owners would offer her financial assistance.

    Pretty sure a stripper falling off a pole would be covered by Workman’s Comp. A workplace injury is a workplace injury after all.

    • Atanarjuat

      1099 workers are supposed to self insure, though.

      • westernsloper

        Hmmmm, seems I am unaware of the contractual arrangements of a working stripper.

      • R C Dean

        Contractors. A long time ago, I represented a booking agency for them. Easily the most entertaining client file I ever saw.

    • Rhywun

      We need to ban giggity-work once and for all.

      • westernsloper

        Heh

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Oh, like you’ve never woken up in a dumpster after a rowdy night out.

    It’s a shame

  39. Sensei

    The commies never change…

    How a message of encouragement from Japan made Chinese question their own appreciation to Mandarin

    A bit of history. Surprising nobody here relations between Japan and China have not been historically good and this continues to this day. That said relations have improved and is demonstrated that Japan is donating medical supplies and other supplies to help with the coronavirus outbreak. As part of that Japan has written bits of classic Chinese poetry with donations as a way of wishing them well.

    Here is where it get interesting. Japan, Hong Kong and Taiwan all utilize traditional Chinese characters. Mind you Japanese doesn’t use all the characters, just some of them, but they are written traditionally. Since Chinese influence heavily impacted Japan and its arts and culture Japan also studies Chinese literature.

    So the commie controlled press is now pissed and knocking Japan because in some ways it is better able to relate to its on historical literature better than the current Chinese. Truly no good deed goes unpunished.

    • Rhywun

      They sent China messages in traditional characters?! OMG. That has international incident written all over it.

      • Sensei

        That’s not really a big deal. The PRC uses them as well, but not for day to day. Problem is it makes the populace one more step removed from its literature pre-1950.

        It’s a bit like how my son can’t read the cursive writing from his grandparents.

      • Rhywun

        I’m more imagining the CCP getting bent out of shape over it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        At least they didn’t address the packages to our friends in Manchukuo.

  40. Chipping Pioneer

    I know nothing of hacking, but it seems to me that asymmetric guerrilla cyber warfare (not organized by the government) might be an effective way to blow the lid off of the control that the Chinese government has over their domestic Internet.

    • Atanarjuat

      Yeah, Anonymous is spending way too much time fucking with Shia LeBeouf, albeit hilariously, and not enough time fucking with the Pooh Bear.

    • R C Dean

      Eh, Shia won’t send hit squads after them. I’d think twice, too, about prancing the ChiComs.

      • R C Dean

        Or pranking. Either one, really.

  41. Atanarjuat

    Are they worried about Nelson’s health? Yes, they say, but they’re trying to make the facility change its mind.

    And maybe, the Gibsons said, the president himself will take note.

    A black guy who wears custom Trump sneakers? Trump would be smart to bring him to some rallies and make this guy the next Joe the Plumber.

    • MikeS

      My cynical guess is that is exactly what this dude’s angle is.

      • MikeS

        Three “is” in one sentence. Is that a record of some kind?

      • Gender Traitor

        Depends on what the meaning of “is” is.

      • Atanarjuat

        It is what it is.

      • AlmightyJB

        Are you some sort of Isis terrorist?

  42. The Late P Brooks

    What does the Democratic Party stand for?

    That’s easy. They are the party of hate. They hate Donald Trump with the fire of a thousand suns, and, by extension, all those disgusting evil racists and tranny murderers and wife beaters who voted for him instead of the Most Qualified Candidate in the History of Candidates. They hate everybody who has more money, and a nicer house, and a faster car than they do. They hate everybody who doesn’t hate what (and who) they hate.

    • creech

      To be fair, there are some deluded souls who think the Dems are the party of love and compassion as opposed to the greedy, grasping, selfish Republicans. These folks would never endorse violence and wear blinders to the fact that their views can only be legislated at the point of a gun.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Public Enemy Number One is going to go to Daytona and bask in the adoration of those ignorant hillbilly NASCAR dolts!
    Who does that?!

    *Michael J Caboose voice*

    Oh, my GOD!

      • MikeS

        It will be the best lap. The classiest.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      IIRC Reagan went to the last race that Richard Petty won.

      Team Petty was caught cheating in the subsequent teardown: engine displacement larger than rule, largely explaining the day’s easy passing. But it was “win” 200, so Team France did nothing about it: fiasco avoided, associations unblemished. Americans, like all other humans, largely want a king, someone to tell them that little will change, that everything will be alright, so NASCAR clearly made the smart play there.

      I for one heartily endorse the France circus: a man has every right to put on a bad play and sell out night after night. I have every right to turn the channel. It’s all good.

      • Ted S.

        You turn the channel left, left, left, don’t you?

    • R C Dean

      With the NASCAR crowd, he could ride around in an open convertible and be perfectly safe.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    The DoJ has become a tool of political vengence, in Trump’s America.

    Oh, shame. Oh, ingnominy.

    • Atanarjuat

      Well, that’s the first instance of politicizing a Federal agency I can think of. /HuffPo reader

  45. The Late P Brooks

    And now ABC is interviewing Clyburn, who is perfectly content to state categorically all black people should hate President Cartoon Villain.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    I for one heartily endorse the France circus: a man has every right to put on a bad play and sell out night after night. I have every right to turn the channel. It’s all good.

    see, also: “NASCAR yellow”

    • Atanarjuat

      “if women wanted to be appreciated for their brains, they’d go to the library instead of Bloomingdale’s.”

      If you’re going to be sexist, at least be funny.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It killed when Bob Hope did it.

    • Q Continuum

      “if Jesus was a Jew, why does he have a Puerto Rican first name?”

      Now that’s funny.

      • Fourscore

        circa 1960, at least

    • R C Dean

      I actually despise him less now. A little less, anyway.

      • MikeS

        A Bloomberg campaign spokesperson told Insider that, “Mike simply did not say the things somebody wrote in this gag gift, which has been circulating for 30 years and has been quoted in every previous election Mike has been in.”

        I actually despise him a little more.

    • Atanarjuat

      The portable Bloomberg.

      As a short joke, that’s funnier than most of Bloomberg’s off-color remarks.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    With the NASCAR crowd, he could ride around in an open convertible and be perfectly safe.

    That’s exactly what I was thinking.

    • westernsloper

      This is why my parents will most likely out live me. My Dad gets pissed when I tell him that.

  48. Spudalicious

    Cold and wet here today. Football it is.

    • westernsloper

      Go Renedages!

  49. Mojeaux

    re “literally shaking rn”

    I went to a therapist yesterday, the same one I have XY with. I forgot how he phrased it, which was much better than whatever I’m going to say, but he said that kids my kids’ age have nothing because they have everything. They don’t have anything of themselves. No confidence. No values (where “values” means something like, “I want to be helpful” or, as I’m sitting here thinking of it right now, perhaps an identity of self, as in, “I’m a funny person and I like to make people laugh.”). So they soak up the external in order to find meaning within themselves.

    The instant he pulled out the word “meaning,” I thought of Heroic Mulatto. “Words don’t have meanings. Meanings have words.” It wasn’t quite applicable in this case (so I kept my mouth shut because I was over time).

    Participation trophy kids are the parents of most of these kids (we had kids late–we’re much older than my kids’ friends’ parents).

    That is not a conclusion, correlation, or cause and effect statement, but it was a thought I had.

    • Q Continuum

      There’s a reason that suicide is almost exclusively a first world problem. Once you have all your basic needs attended to, plus most of your nonessential wants, all that’s left are the BIG QUESTIONS. Teenagers are half-finished and not equipped to handle all that.

      • Mojeaux

        The inevitable slide of civilization advancing?

  50. KSuellington

    I’m still laughing about that fashion show getup. “You’ll wear the monkey ears and lips and like it!”

    As far as Bernie goes I’ve been considering voting for him in the primary as I have chosen a Dem ballot this time since I registered independent. I’ve said it a few times and agree completely with this article. Bernie running (and getting the inevitable hard Mondale type smack down) would be the best thing the Dems could realistically hope for. They need to purge the far left shit and that would be the best way to do so. I am also imagining the old Eddie Murphy skit where drunk white people vote for Jessie Jackson and then wake up shocked that he won.

    https://spectator.org/a-trump-bernie-brawl-would-benefit-the-nation/

      • KSuellington

        Heh, heh, heh. Eddie was incredible back in the day.

  51. egould310

    Gotta put on clothes and go get some fancy coffee drinks. Cold and wet here in Seattle. Warm and dry and cuddly in my apartment. But coffee…

    • Fourscore

      Got a big ol’ cuppa the home made stuff. Warm, dry inside, cold, cold and dry outside. Havin’ the 2nd big cup now, first one was 0530…

      • egould310

        G’morning. The

  52. The Late P Brooks

    Bernie running (and getting the inevitable hard Mondale type smack down) would be the best thing the Dems could realistically hope for.

    I think they would learn less than nothing from that.

    Aside from proving how evil the deplorables are, I think it would push them farther and harder to the left. Time is running out. We’ll all die if President Cartoon Villain gets four more years of plunder and pillage.

    I think it will be a busy four years for the Secret Service.

    • KSuellington

      Maybe I am wrong, but I don’t think so. The way I see it if the Dems nominate Biden, Klobuchar, or even Mayor Pete the hard left will not will be appeased. When they inevitably lose, that most vocal contingent of their party will blame it on not being “bold” enough. These people actually believe that Bernie really would have won in 2016. Bernie losing badly to Trump would force a reckoning, and that will not lead to the majority of the Dems saying , “well, we should have gone farther left, that why we lost.”of course we are going to get huge helpings of ELECHSHUNS FRAUD and RUSSiANS! But that will happen no matter which Dem loses.

    • westernsloper

      This. TDS is a helluva drug.

      • westernsloper

        But what the hell do I know, I picked Kamala to win.

      • KSuellington

        I predicted she would get the VP nod. That may or may not happen, but I think that it goes to a woman for sure. Whether it is Hillary or Amy or Kamala I am not sure.