The Hat and The Hair: Episode 146

by | Feb 19, 2020 | Hat and Hair, SugarFree | 357 comments

 

“Blagonivich?” the hair asked angrily.

“Forty-seven percent job approval rate,” the hat said. “I can do whatever I want.”

“Whatever we want!” Donald cried from the couch. He took another fistful of McDonald’s french fries and ground them into his pubic hair. No one had managed to get him dressed since signing the pardons.

“Vindicated on impeachment, cleaned out all the rats and traitors, the Democratic primaries in disarray, the luscious Hope is returning to the White House, investigations into Biden… I have never felt better,” the hat said.

“And my Twitter fight with Little Mikey Bloomberg!” Donald said. “Woosh!” he said along with the whooshing sound of another tweet being sent. He dropped the phone into his armpit and went back to eating.

“I’m so happy I could just unravel!” the hat squealed.

“But Blagoyavanch?” the hair asked.

“For you,” the hat crooned. “I did it for you.”

“Huh?” the hair asked.

“The hair, the hair,” the hat said. “You know he’s going to be grateful to be out of prison. He’ll give it up.”

“Give up what?”

“The hair, that glorious mop of rich Chicago hair,” the hat said. “I’m trying to get you laid, son!”

“Aw, yeah,” Donald said, grinding his bare ass into the couch.

“He’s a guy,” the hair said frostily.

“I know, but hair is hair, right?” the hat asked.

“I’m not gay,” the hair said.

“I didn’t say you were, but humpin’ up on one guy’s hair’s not going to turn you gay, right?” the hat asked.

“You fruit-fucking assturd,” the hair said.

“Burn!” Donald crowed, throwing a fistful of french fries into the air.

“He’s a hot silver fox now,” the hat said, leering.

“You pardoned a Democrat because you thought I would want to have sex with his hair?” the hair asked.

“Yes,” the hat said brightly.

“Despite the fact that I am not gay and reproduce through the asexual production of polyps?” the hair asked.

“Yes,” the hat said.

“I fucking hate you,” the hair said.

“I know,” the hat said. “I’m totally Han Solo.”

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

357 Comments

  1. kinnath

    Hair, flow it, show it
    Long as God can grow it, my hair

    • UnCivilServant

      Fun fact, if you grow hair too long, the weight of it will cause allopecia.

      • Lackadaisical

        I actually know someone this happened to.

      • Tonio

        Was her name Rapunzel?

      • Festus

        No, Festus. Years of hard-hat wear never helped, either.

      • Nephilium

        Mine reached a certain length then stopped, I don’t think the forehead expanding was linked to the long hair though.

        Same thing has happened with the beard, it reaches a certain length, and just stays there, slowly turning more grey.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, if you have enough wear on the hairs, they will individually break after a while, providing a practical limit to length. You have to be pretty pampered and protected to get to the lengths required.

  2. leon

    ““I didn’t say you were, but humpin’ up on one guy’s hair’s not going to turn you gay, right?” the hat asked.”

    :bravo:

    • Tonio

      It’s only gay if you’re the bottom.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Well at least Pete has that going for him among his gay credentials.

      • hayeksplosives

        They actually adhere to this in Brazil, a culture dominated by machismo. You are gay if you’re the receiver, but you’re straight if you’re the pitcher or the suckee.

        It’s so obviously about dominance and not romance. They have beaches where women are prohibited or have to be pretty modestly covered
        , but the men cavort around naked and do as they please.

      • Fatty Bolger

        beaches where women are prohibited or have to be pretty modestly covered

        What’s the point of a Brazilian, then?

      • hayeksplosives

        Well there are a bunch of beaches. Choose wisely.

        But even the lovely Brazilian babes who get too flaunt what they got complain privately about the overwhelmingly macho culture they are trying to navigate.

      • UnCivilServant

        % of “be careful what you wish for” in their private griping?

      • Nephilium

        I have the feeling that those same Brazillian babes aren’t interested in the current emasculated men from the US colleges though.

      • pistoffnick

        “What’s the point of a Brazilian, then?”

        “How many is a Brazilian” -G.W. Booosh

      • kinnath

        How many is a Brazilian

        One of my favorite Bush jokes.

      • Tonio

        I’ve gone down on guys who had to have a girly magazine open during the process so they could claim that they (but not I) was straight. This was when I was young and stupid. It’s super disheartening.

      • Sensei

        Tough enough figuring things out when you a straight youngster.

        Hopefully it has gotten a bit better for gay youngsters.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Imma guess it is now the straight kids that get the stink-eye now.

      • Gadfly

        From what I’ve read, ancient Rome had a similar machismo culture.

      • AlexinCT

        They actually adhere to this in Brazil, a culture dominated by machismo. You are gay if you’re the receiver, but you’re straight if you’re the pitcher or the suckee.

        Not just Brazil. This is a definite Latin American (like in South & Central America and the Caribbean) thing. Never got it.

      • DrOtto

        Even power-bottoms?

  3. Tonio

    “He’s a guy,” the hat said frostily.

    Shouldn’t that be the Hair’s line?

    • Bobarian LMD

      They get confused.

      • Gadfly

        The Muses aren’t exactly sober.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Insulin is a helluva drug.

    • SugarFree

      I fixed and now you look like a big stinky dum-dum!

      /gaslighting

  4. Sean

    What sex is Caitlyn Jenner’s hair?

    • Lackadaisical

      Depends if the hair is pre or post op.

      • hayeksplosives

        Did xe get the ultimate snip-snip? I know Xe didn’t before the magazine covers, though the boob job was done.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Don’t you mean “pre or post mop”?

      • SugarFree

        ^^^gold^^^

      • Pope Jimbo

        Do I detect a note of insincerity?

      • SugarFree

        None whatsoever. That’s the sort of smart pun I really enjoy.

    • JD is Unemployed

      Equine, sourced from only the finest pure-bred fillies.

  5. JD is Unemployed

    Maybe Blagojevic has information that could lead to the arrest of ******* *******, and will accidentally hang himself while accidentally shooting himself in the back of the head from a distance of 4-5ft away, and perhaps someone has a notion that this might be more likely to transpire with him walking free.

    Ps – Oh fuck off, Preet. Find a hobby or something.

    • Not Adahn

      *Preet dials an unusually long string of numbers*

      “Nigel? Preety. Yeah, you got your ASBO pad handy?”

  6. Fatty Bolger

    Thanks, the pardon finally makes sense to me now.

    • hayeksplosives

      I am still trying to figure it out. Did blago have dirt on Trump or what? NOBODY likes Blago.

      Where is the advantage?

      • Urthona

        I think it really does just curb our arbitrary justice system that completely singled him out for excessive punishment.

      • AlexinCT

        Blago is gonna spill the beans on Obama. A lot of the people that were hit hard during the Obama administration were hit so they could silence/discredit them and prevent them from telling us how corrupt & criminal the D.C. establishment had become because of Obama and the people he put in charge.

      • Urthona

        Think so?

      • AlexinCT

        I am just playing the conspiracy theory game, man. However, there was and still is a lot of this going on. See Flynn, Stone, Papadapolous, and a bunch of others that they want to silence.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Being serious, I don’t think there is an advantage, or political calculus involved. Trump just thought he’d served enough time already, so he did it.

      • Urthona

        Me too. As usual, everything is analyzed to the hilt.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Did you not notice the name of the author? NATASHA KORECKI

        RUSSIAN COLLUSION!!!!!!!!

        The smoking gun we’ve all been waiting for! Proof!

      • Gadfly

        If there’s any political calculus (I’m not saying there is, but there could be) it’s trying to paint a picture of consistency to go along with requesting lighter sentencing for Stone.

      • Urthona

        Except Blago did much worse than Stone IMO.

      • Gadfly

        Very true, which is why Trump saying Blago’s 8 years served is enough puts him in a good position to argue that Stone deserves much less. If there was any strategy behind it, which again I am not saying there necessarily was, but this would make sense to me.

      • R C Dean

        I’m with Fatty. I think SF’s theory makes as much sense as anything.

      • Sean

        Trolling, IMO.

      • Tonio

        Maybe Trump is hoping Blago will run for office and further embarrass the Dems. I’m assuming that pardon means full restoration of rights, like the conviction never happened.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I think he only had his sentence commuted, so the conviction would still stand.

      • Urthona

        Not a pardon though. Just thought he served enough time.

      • Tonio

        Thanks, guys.

      • AlexinCT

        The mayor of D.C. got elected despite being a convicted felon. Blago should take a note out of his book and use the “Bitch set me up” line as part of his campaign sloganeering.

      • Rhywun

        Who doesn’t want another “Trumpocrat” on his side?

    • Bobarian LMD

      Technically, Blago did not get pardoned; he had his sentence commuted.

  7. UnCivilServant

    As a fuel, how does bamboo rate in terms of amount of effort in collecting versus heat output?

    I get that it is hollow. I also get that you can make charcoal from it. I’m just wondering if it’s more, less or about equal work when compared to, say, trees.

    • UnCivilServant

      I see, according to the internet, it burns faster and hotter, but doesn’t last, so you basically need to be constantly feeding fuel into the fire.

      • Tonio

        In a woodstove you can control the speed of the burn by limiting the airflow.

      • UnCivilServant

        Given the smaller mass per unit and greater surface area, you’re still going to be loading more often, especially if you need to maintain a given temperature range.

        For some odd reason my mind is still on brick production in a fictional settlement, and their most readily available fuel is bamboo.

      • Festus

        Burns like grass.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It is significantly faster growing than wood, so more replaceable.

        One of the arguments you hear for hemp being used to produce paper.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Because it is grass. I know this, because my youngest son was once fascinated with this fact, and told it to me repeatedly.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        What, are ya Writing a Book or something?
        / Ducks……

      • UnCivilServant

        Or something.

        I’m still working on that pesky ‘story’ bit. I’ve got characters and setting.

      • MikeS

        In order to increase the mass/sq. in., crush it first by running it over with a D9 Caterpillar.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m afraid that is not an option available to the settlers.

      • Fourscore

        Always plant bamboo close to a neighbor you don’t like.

      • Jarflax

        Under them, after staking them out?

      • Not Adahn

        This world doesn’t have giant caterpillars bred for hauling?

      • UnCivilServant

        The moths are too big of a problem when they decide to pupate.

      • UnCivilServant

        Though, thinking it through, a burro-sized caterpillar wouldn’t be out of place.

      • Not Adahn

        And think of the textile industry!

    • Urthona

      I don’t know.

    • Caput Lupinum

      You can make charcoal from bamboo, if they are using it as their primary fuel for brick making I would assume they’d convert it to charcoal instead of using straight bamboo.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t remember the details on Blago (and I’ll be damned if I’m going to research it), but I have a sort of dim memory that his arrest verged on entrapment.

    As always, “You can’t cheat an honest man” applies.

  9. Tundra

    “He’s a hot silver fox now,” the hat said, leering.

    LOL!

    Hat is relentless.

  10. WTF

    “You fruit-fucking assturd,” the hair said.

    I am stealing this insult.

    • MikeS

      ^ I came here to say this. ^

    • Festus

      #metoo

      • Nephilium

        It’s like you guys never read Penny Arcade. The Fruit Fucker is a recurring character there (it’s a juicer… kind of).

      • UnCivilServant

        They’re still around?

      • Nephilium

        Yep, and grown even larger. They’re up to five conventions they run (Seattle, Boston, Texas, Unplugged – Philly, Australia), a charity started off to show up Jack Thompson (there’s a name you don’t hear anymore), designed games and RPG supplements, podcasts, streams, and still put out three comics a week.

      • UnCivilServant

        I guess they’re better businesspeople than comedians.

      • Nephilium

        They’ve told the story a couple times how they sold all the rights away on the cheap when they were young and dumb. Here’s what I could find in a quick search for it.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe Il Trumpissimo is preparing the ground for his pardon of Stone. “Look, I set one of your guys free.”

    • SugarFree

      Like the old spy exchanges across Checkpoint Charlie.

  12. Pope Jimbo

    OT: But Unfuckingbelievable

    James Comey lecturing anyone about propriety of blind justice is beyond the pale.

    That gift, which makes possible so much of the good they accomplish, is a reservoir of trust and credibility, a reservoir built for them, and filled one drop at a time, by those who went before — most of whom they never knew. They were people who made sacrifices and kept promises to contribute to that reservoir. They were people who made mistakes, and admitted them. They were people who made hard calls without regard to politics or privilege, who sought the facts and applied them to the law.

    Why do I think reservoir tip when I read that?

    • Bobarian LMD

      I was more reminded of the drip associated with gonorrhea.

    • Q Continuum

      Ribbed for her pleasure.

  13. Festus

    Seems like the hat and the hair have a sibling relationship wherein the the Hat is the elder and the Hair is the younger. Discuss.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Notice me, senpai!

    • Gender Traitor

      They seem to me more like the standard comedy duo “buddies” like Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, etc.

      Speaking of which, who would you name as the greatest comedy duo of all time and/or your favorite one-time pairing of actors in that sort of relationship? As a one-off, I loved Kevin Kline & Charles Grodin in the movie “Dave.”

      • Tundra

        Close.

        It was Robert DeNiro and Grodin in Midnight Run.

      • Ozymandias

        That one came to mind for me, too.
        I’ll also add in an obscure one: Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines in “Running Scared.”
        The “Fish Called Wanda” with Cleese and Kline was fucking hysterical the whole time, although the ending with K-k-k-ku-Ken was movie-stealing in its hilarity.

      • Chipwooder

        Running Scared is very funny and unjustly overlooked.

      • Festus

        John Cleese and Kevin Kline although I’m not sure if that meets the parameters.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’ll allow it – Kline’s mania & Cleese’s stiff-upper-lip propriety were a great match, IIRC. (Been too long. Time for another view.)

      • Raven Nation

        The Two Ronnies

      • MikeS

        Reagan and Jeremy?

      • l0b0t

        Canada’s beloved Gross Guys, MacLean & MacLean (NSFW).

      • Bobarian LMD

        Pryor and Wilder.

        Stir Crazy and Silver Streak.

      • l0b0t

        Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll?

      • mindyourbusiness

        Mostel and Wilder in The Producers.

      • Chipwooder

        A fairly obscure one – Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Hilarious movie and they had great chemistry.

  14. MikeS

    Alright…which one of you wrote this?

    Police Officer Claims He Feared For His Life After Shooting Family’s Roomba To Death

    “I feared for my life, and that is why I unloaded approximately 11 rounds into the dangerous, aggressive robot vacuum,” he said in a press conference. “You don’t always have time to accurately assess all threats when you are in a life-and-death situation like that. Police officer safety is our number one priority when we’re out in the field.”

    “Uh, I mean, other than your safety, of course,” he quickly added.

    • UnCivilServant

      At publishing time, an investigation had revealed that Officer Nimitz was in the entirely wrong house in the first place, with the correct address being over five miles away.

      • AlexinCT

        Shit happens, bruh…

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Nimitz? I thought it was Halsey who was in the wrong place.

    • Tundra

      At publishing time, an investigation had revealed that Officer Nimitz was in the entirely wrong house in the first place, with the correct address being over five miles away.

      The best satire isn’t.

  15. Lackadaisical

    I’m trying to finish an article for here but having an issue with formatting.

    How can I make a numbered list start at not 1.

    e.g.

    45.
    46.
    47. …

    Right now I’m using (ol) to start the list.

      • Lackadaisical

        Thanks. Got it sorted.

    • Lackadaisical

      nevermind, ddg delivered

    • l0b0t

      Too answer your question in the previous thread. I meant that there are far too many things against the law, victimless crimes/crimes against the state/process crimes/criminalization of FedGov agency regulations, things of that ilk. Does that make sense? I’ve spent the morning muggled up on a 3 way blend of Wedding Cake, Do-Si-Dos, and G13, so I’m likely not terribly cogent.

      • Lackadaisical

        That makes sense. I was wondering if you were also aiming at duplicative/overly specific real crimes as well.

        I’ve spent the morning muggled up on a 3 way blend of Wedding Cake, Do-Si-Dos, and G13, so I’m likely not terribly cogent.

        That didn’t make any sense, but best of luck. 🙂

    • robc

      I just submitted an article this morning. It is short. If TPTB want to schedule it in the midday Friday spot which is open, I am cool with that.

      • Lackadaisical

        How can you see that?

      • Lackadaisical

        ooo… nevermind. I can even… do stuff on the calendar? uh… oops!

      • robc

        yeah, I thought about just scheduling it myself, but I didn’t want to go there.

      • Lackadaisical

        Heh. Yeah, hopefully everything is back where it belongs.

        I submitted my post.

  16. Gadfly

    That was golden. And very little stomach-churning imagery to boot (although it was still present, it’s good I wasn’t planning to have any fries for lunch). My one question is, what was up with the Han Solo line? Does it have any meaning, or is the Hat just being crazy?

    • SugarFree

      A reversal of the scene in The Empire Strikes Back.

      Princess Leia: I love you.

      Han Solo: I know.

      • Gadfly

        Ah, thanks. I wasn’t thinking about it from that perspective, but it makes sense.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Ruh-roh

    Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg, who is described in a new campaign ad as “incredibly sensitive” to the LGBTQ community, described transgender people as an “he, she, or it” and “some guy in a dress” just eight months before he announced his campaign, BuzzFeed News reports. “If your conversation during a presidential election is about some guy wearing a dress and whether he, she, or it can go to the locker room with their daughter, that’s not a winning formula for most people,” Bloomberg said at a Manhattan forum hosted by the Bermuda Development Agency in March 2019, where the former New York mayor criticized Democratic candidates for talking about transgender protections.

    “I’m sorry you’re such a bunch of thin skinned nancies.”

    • Rhywun

      Oh please please please let this come up at tonight’s debate.

    • Ozymandias

      Hey! He’s evolved since then! That was back… almost a WHOLE YEAR AGO!!

      – WaPo

    • Pope Jimbo

      He’s not wrong. Arguing about stupid culture war stuff like that isn’t a winning formula.

      Just like he isn’t wrong when he said that if the government is paying for all health care they are going to prioritize healing up a young guy over some 95 year old with prostate cancer.

      The problem is that he is trying to get a bunch of crazies who value “feelz” and alternate realities to vote for him. Bringing up the truth isn’t going to help him with that group.

  18. We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

    Hey, I may have just observed the bug that created my squirrely reply twice above. I have no idea what “Varnish server cache” means, though (and yes, it was “varnish,” not “vanish”).
    ???

    • Lackadaisical

      “Varnish server cache”

      I once had Winston’s mom do that for me. Worth the $20.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Sure, if you’re into prostate massage.

      • DrOtto

        Same as downtown.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Varnish is a reverse proxy used to accelerate web traffic, which uses a cache to deliver pages faster. I would assume there was a problem with the cache that caused the page to load incorrectly.

  19. DEG

    “Whatever we want!” Donald cried from the couch. He took another fistful of McDonald’s french fries and ground them into his pubic hair. No one had managed to get him dressed since signing the pardons.

    How do you know he doesn’t manscape?

    • SugarFree

      I’m just guessing that he doesn’t shave what he can’t see. I mean, I guess Pence could do it, but the sheer erotic charge of that scene is beyond even my reckoning.

      • Swiss Servator

        This is my head, after reading that last sentence:

        Or maybe…

      • Gadfly

        The first picture is your head after reading that last sentence. The second picture is your head after you’ve read the scene once SF decides to write it anyway.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Nobody has mentioned Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in The Fortune Cookie. yet?

    I am disappoint.

    • Ozymandias

      I’ll add another one that just came to mind, Peter Falk and Alan Arkin in the original “In Laws.” My dad made me watch it as a kid and I’ve rewatched it since; it really is that good. Peter Falk is a national treasure. Range? Who needs “range” as an actor when who you are is just that good.

      • kinnath

        Great movie. Great pairing.

      • Sensei

        You beat me to it.

        My favorite bit was serpentine!

        I was visiting my grandparents one summer and my grandmother took me to see it. It’s one of my favorite memories with her.

      • DrOtto

        I was robbed at gunpoint back in the ’90s delivering pizza. I ran back to my car in a serpentine pattern. It wasn’t until I watched this clip where I even remember picking that up. Laughing right now thinking about it.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Jeez! Glad you can.

      • Ozymandias

        Ad now that I’m reaching back, a ton of others come to mind: MASH has several options – and with several different cast members; I loved Jack Klugman and Tony Randall as the Odd Couple growing up; Walther Matthau and Jack Lemmon in the original; there have been so many well-done variations, I can’t possibly pick one.
        There’s a reason it’s been done so many times.

      • Chipwooder

        “Serpentine, Shel, serpentine!”

  21. kinnath

    No one is going to mention Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in the Silver Streak?

    • Swiss Servator

      Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein?

      • Ozymandias

        +1 “NO matter what I say…”

      • Bobarian LMD

        I am Klo….Buchar.

        *Whinney*

      • Sensei

        I do that bit every time I hear her mentioned.

      • kinnath

        I can fix that hump.

      • Sensei

        +1 Abbie Normal

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Yes,

    • Gender Traitor

      Good one!

      BTW, the duo doesn’t have to be two guys, though that’s by far the most common. One classic case in point: Burns & Allen. (Wish I could think of two chicks.)

      • l0b0t

        Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn as The Sweeney Sisters on SNL.

        Tina Fey and Amy Pohler

        Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance

      • Ozymandias

        Would Mary Tyler Moore and Ed Asner count?
        How about Archie and Edith?

      • kinnath

        Yes and Yes

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Lucille Ball and Gale Gordon.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! And of course there’s Saunders & Lumley in “Ab Fab,” but they don’t fit the “straight one/silly one” archetype.

      • Chipwooder

        The correct answer is Rebecca DeMornay and Mary Gross in Feds.

        In the early ’90s I would have sat and watched Rebecca DeMornay read the phone book for an hour.

      • RAHeinlein

        “What are we going to do about this, Joel?”

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Gonna do a check-it-out thing

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        oops! Accidentally apt.

      • Chipwooder

        It’s a pretty stupid movie, but my fair Rebecca was to die for

      • l0b0t

        Or sometimes Rosalind Russel.

      • RAHeinlein

        Speaking of Rosalind Russell, I’m going with Hayley Mills and June Harding in “The Trouble With Angels”

      • Swiss Servator

        Laverne and Shirley weep.

      • Gender Traitor

        I confess I almost never watched that.

      • Rhywun

        I did 🙁
        Boy TV sure was slim pickins back then.

      • robc

        Squiggy became a minor league baseball scout.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, it wasn’t that bad.

        And yeah, Happy Days was terrible.

      • Ted S.

        Thelma Todd and Patsy Kelly. (Or ZaSu Pitts.)

    • Shirley Knott

      Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Fun with numbers

    The Medicare For All plan proposed by Democratic presidential candidates Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren would save taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars each year and would prevent tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths, a new study shows.

    The analysis, conducted by researchers at Yale University, the University of Florida and the University of Maryland, found that transitioning the U.S. to a single-payer health care system would actually save an estimated $450 billion each year, with the average American family seeing about $2,400 in annual savings. The research, which was published Saturday in the medical journal The Lancet, also found that Medicare for all would prevent about 68,000 unnecessary deaths per year.

    “Our study is actually conservative because it doesn’t factor in the lives saved among underinsured Americans—which includes anyone who nominally has insurance but has postponed or foregone care because they couldn’t afford the copays and deductibles,” Alison Galvani, an author of the study and researcher at the Center for Infectious Disease Modeling and Analysis at the Yale School of Public Health, told Newsweek.

    ——-

    “The entire system could be funded with less financial outlay than is incurred by employers and households paying for health-care premiums combined with existing government allocations,” the authors wrote in the study.

    The authors also noted, as Sanders often does when discussing Medicare for all, that health care expenditures in the U.S. are “higher” per capita “than in any other country.”

    According to my model, my model is correct.

    • robc

      This was a common joke in my fantasy baseball league. At the end of the draft, someone would inevitably comment “According to my projections, I am going to win.” Well, no duh.

      After about the 2nd time making fun of someone, someone would do it jokingly every year. Or, I would lament that my projections had me 4th.

      • UnCivilServant

        “I’ve done it! I should come in dead last!”

      • R C Dean

        *8 months later*

        “I won! Woo-hoo!”

    • Gadfly

      … with the average American family seeing about $2,400 in annual savings

      This seems suspiciously close to what was claimed for Obamacare. How’d that turn out?

      • R C Dean

        the average American family seeing about $2,400 in annual savings

        If its truly just removing the current requirements for Medicare eligibility, it could save individuals a lot more than that, especially people on health exchange plans. Unless they are just counting what employers charge employees for health coverage, which is a lot less than the total cost.

        Also – what happens to Medicaid? Does it go away? If so, then we are looking at a huge increase in the cost for the Medicaid population, because Medicaid pays less than Medicare. Currently, the states pay for about 1/3 of Medicaid. Would that stop, so the feds suck up the entire bill?

        I could see a lot of support from employers for Medicare for All – takes a big cost off their books. If it replaces Medicaid, I think you’d see support from the health industry as well, and likely from state governments.

      • RAHeinlein

        Substantially decreased burden for public sector employee/retiree health insurance costs. I assume military retirees would also move to this plan.

      • R C Dean

        Do you really think the pubsecs will get moved off their current Cadillac plans and onto the plans for the serfs?

      • RAHeinlein

        Wishful thinking, but both pub/private sector unions are coming out hard against Medicare for all.

      • Gadfly

        Does medicare pay market rates or below market rates? I may have confused it with medicaid, but I thought it paid below market rates and so had to be subsidized by people with insurance, in which case medicare for all certainly would save no money.

      • R C Dean

        Medicaid pays way below actual cost for most things.

        Medicare pays roughly cost, for hospitals at least.

        Commercial plans pay above Medicare, generally up to 120% of Medicare for hospitals. at least.

        It makes no sense to refer to “market” rates in healthcare. There really is no such thing as a functional market.

    • Unreconstructed

      Found this in the comments, apparently dug up from the study (couldn’t find a link in the article, so can’t verify).

      Big savings with a single-payer system: The researchers found that the proposed system would reduce total health-care expenditures by about 13% based on 2017 spending levels. Savings would come from a variety of sources. Here are some of the major savings the researchers found with Medicare for All, based on the 2017 total health care expenditure of nearly $3.5 trillion:
      Reducing pharmaceutical prices via negotiation: $219 billion
      Improving fraud detection: $191 billion
      Reducing reimbursement rates for hospitals, physician, and clinical services: $188 billion
      Reducing overhead: $102 billion
      Eliminating uncompensated hospitalization fees: $78 billion in savings.

      Now, “reducing pharmaceutical prices via negotiation” sounds nice, but $219 billion in savings? HOW? And “Improving fraud detection” for $191 billion…why haven’t they reduced the billions in fraud they’re already paying out? Reducing reimbursement rates for hospitals, physician, and clinical services for $188 billion PER YEAR? Reducing overhead? With a government program????

      • R C Dean

        Improving fraud detection: $191 billion

        Hilarious. This only makes sense if you think the private plans suck at detecting fraud.

        Reducing reimbursement rates for hospitals, physician, and clinical services: $188 billion

        Reframing this as “reducing revenue to health care providers” (which is what it is) makes it sound not so great.

        Reducing overhead: $102 billion

        Whose overhead? And since when is the government more efficient than the private sector? Since when are government requirements easier to meet than private sector requirements?

        Eliminating uncompensated hospitalization fees: $78 billion in savings.

        What the hell are uncompensated hospitalization fees? I’ve never heard of them. i have no idea what this could be. If this is a reference to some mysterious plan that pays hospitals for uncompensated care, then this is just another reduction in revenue for healthcare providers. Remember when ObamaCare was going to get rid of uninsured patients? How can we have ObamaCare and “uncompensated hospitalization”?

      • leon

        They never seem to count how much it will cost to raise the revenue. They handwaive the extra spending the IRS will take as not being applicable. There are a lot of costs that they ignore that will inevitably go up. And that is not including that their models make some very bad assumptions about what will happen in the equilibrium, as well as making no mention about the quality/availability of care being reduced.

      • Lackadaisical

        Thats the part that gets me.

        ‘we will magically get the same quality and a greater quantity of care for less’

        Do you even demand-supply curve bro?

        No way are there 68k deaths/year this will prevent. If you told me 68k additional deaths/year I might believe you though.

      • Jarflax

        I think they are counting the fact that they will be paying you for the care you currently eat as a loss due to uncollected bills. How you call that a savings for the party paying this bill is a mystery.

      • RAHeinlein

        Check out Medpac.gov. Disproportionate share hospitals are eligible for uncompensated care payments, which was $12.4 billion in 2019.

      • Unreconstructed

        So – they’re going to cut off payments to “disproportionate share” hospitals for uncompensated care, because they’re going to be paying for said care? How does that *save* money? Even if the “uncompensated care” money is 1:1 with the Medicare rates for said care, it’s a wash at best.

      • R C Dean

        “Disproportionate share” (DSH) refers to a high share of Medicaid patients, not uncompensated care patients. We get underpaid for them, but we are not uncompensated for them. Disproportionate share payments are supposed to help offset the Medicaid underpayments.

        Under a true “Medicare for All” system, there would be no more Medicaid (because they would have Medicare), and no more “disproportionate share” hospitals.

        I wondered if that was some butchered reference to DSH, but I couldn’t figure any way it made sense.

      • Ted S.

        Reducing pharmaceutical prices via negotiation: $219 billion

        When Amazon or Walmart do this, it’s evil. When the government does it, it somehow suddenly, magically becomes virtuous.

  23. Rebel Scum

    Disheveled And Covered In $100 Bills, Bernie Sanders Claims He Was Attacked By A Group Of Billionaires

    Sanders said he was out in the streets of Reno at 2 a.m. to purchase a can of beans to eat when suddenly he was approached by two billionaires in ski masks and expensive tailored suits who shouted, “This is billionaire country!” The billionaires began pelting Sanders with stacks of one hundred dollar bills while yelling derogatory things at him, like, “You’re just a millionaire; that’s only one step above being poor!”

    • kinnath

      as billionaires do tend to disappear at night, either to fight crime as costumed vigilantes or to manage hedge funds.

    • Ozymandias

      The Bee is just killing it; I need to give them some money.

      • robc

        The Bee is consistently better than the Onion was at its peak. Although nothing will ever top “Smells like splattered brains.” That was print only, well before The Onion was online.

  24. Mad Scientist

    Jack Lemon and Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Peter Falk and Alan Arkin in the original “In Laws.”

    That was a great movie.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    (Wish I could think of two chicks.)

    Romy and Michelle?

    • Mad Scientist

      Shirley and Laverne

      • Swiss Servator

        DAMN YOU!!! (beat me by two minutes).

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Thelma and Louise?

      • Gender Traitor

        Never saw it. Was it even a comedy?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I don’t recall laughing at it, but I don’t laugh at most comedies.

      • R C Dean

        I laughed.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The ending was pretty funny.

  27. ChipsnSalsa

    He took another fistful of McDonald’s french fries and ground them into his pubic hair.

    aaaaaand, I’m out.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I’m out.

      To get some fries?

      • SugarFree

        And some pubic hair.

      • Jarflax

        Comes with at most fast food places. You just have to complain about something.

      • SugarFree

        After watch a few hair frying videos, it seems to get curlier when fried. So I imagine fried public hair become toothsome little knots.

      • Bobarian LMD

        After watch a few hair frying videos…

        One of the darker corners of PornHub?

      • ChipsnSalsa

        They are ruthless on the bass players. also…

        they simply don’t have the intuition it takes to know how many times to repeat the bridge in ‘Reckless Love.

        two, you can only repeat the bridge two times. Even my 11 y/o daughter knows this. After this people are checking out. You may think it’s deep and spiritual but the congregation is disengaging.

      • robc

        Pay him for the pizza.

        Oh wait, different bass player joke.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Babylon Bee?

    A 12-year-old was given a black doll with beads forming a noose around its neck at a Mardi Gras parade

    Nope. CNN

    The young girl looked down at the item. It was a stuffed black doll dressed in a red and white gown and an apron — also known as a Mammy doll, a caricature that perpetuates offensive stereotypes about African Americans.
    Beads hung around the doll’s neck in the shape of a noose.
    “She hung it from her finger and she felt degraded. She felt attacked. She didn’t even want to stay at the parade. She was ready to go,” Fairconeture told CNN.
    The incident left Fairconeture speechless. And when she asked her daughter whether she was OK, all the girl could say was, “Why me, Mom? Why me?”
    Police are investigating

    I… uh…

    • Nephilium

      Mardi Gras is well known for sedate, sober, and tame crowds.

      Regardless, I’m going to guess that it was a doll with beads, and the beads got tangled.

      • Jarflax

        Why do you persist in excusing literal genocide by the Klan?

      • Nephilium

        Because this is the week to get a packzi fix. So I’ll do my anti-Klan shopping at the Eastern European Catholic shops.

      • Jarflax

        Hmm, cherry pierogies sound interesting

      • Nephilium

        One of the pierogi shops near me has a whole slew of dessert pierogis, including candy bar. I’m a big fan of their breakfast pierogi more, there’s something right about a pierogi filled with egg, cheese, and bacon for breakfast. For the traditional potato and cheese ones, I have my choice of any food store (bakery, butcher, cheese maker, etc) will have pierogis, or I can stop in at any of the churches for ones made by someone’s grandma.

        The girlfriend once tried to bring Mrs. T’s into the house…

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’ve easily eaten my weight in Mrs. T’s over the years. It was a staple at my grandmother’s house growing up. That and this farmer’s cheese from hickory farms that I can’t find now. I’ve never been to an actual pierogi shop, but I’ll be on the lookout when traveling.

      • Chipwooder

        That’s your Cleveland privilege talking – ain’t no pierogi shops anywhere near here.

      • DEG

        I’ve eaten Mrs. T’s pierogis before.

        I lived.

        I like pierogis but I don’t think I could stomach Mrs. T’s anymore.

      • Nephilium

        Cleveland privilege

        Never in my life would I put those two words together. It is dependent on where in town you are. Now, I’m in the Parma area, made famous by Drew Carey. The girlfriend grew up in a suburb that trended more Italian and Jewish. I grew up in an area that would be best described as working class suburb.

        If there’s no better options, Mrs. T’s are serviceable. But for me to go to a grocery store, I would have to pass at least two options to purchase pierogis.

      • Nephilium

        Never doubt the quality of baking by little old ladies. The strudel shop by my house the ladies laughed at me when I said their strudel was really good, almost as good as my grandma’s.

    • Rhywun

      Noose? Necklace? Same diff.

    • Chipwooder

      At this point, I assume all such stories are hoaxes until proven otherwise.

    • Rebel Scum

      Police are investigating

      Investigating what?

      • UnCivilServant

        “We’ll look into it.”

        *circular files the report*

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well they have to track down the owners of all the floats in a parade that are festooned with Saints jerseys. I mean, do you know how many of those that there are in Mississippi?

        It will take years to track them all down.

    • l0b0t

      If it was one of the black krewes, NOMTOC (New Orleans’ Most Talked Of Club), Zulu Social Aid And Pleasure Club, etc. that sort of throw is expected and treasured. I have Zulu coconuts featuring woven top-knots with chicken bones in them. The Zulu King wears a lard can for his crown and carries a shank bone for his scepter. Hell, marchers in Zulu’s parade are required to wear blackface regardless of their ethnicity.

  29. Sensei

    The only time I ever have cereal is when I’m travelling or a work breakfast.

    WTH? A box of $13 cereal is going to fix everything that is currently ailing the global staples sector. Pay no mind that developing economies no longer look at western staples as obtainable luxuries like they used to.

    $13 box of health-conscious cereal could be key to General Mills’ growth

  30. R C Dean

    reproduce through the asexual production of polyps

    Wait, what?

    • Jarflax

      Get your ass checked for the hair’s babies every year after 50.

  31. mexican sharpshooter

    “I know, but hair is hair, right?” the hat asked.

    “I’m not gay,” the hair said.

    “I didn’t say you were, but humpin’ up on one guy’s hair’s not going to turn you gay, right?” the hat asked.

    *stares, unblinking at Sugarfree*

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Regardless, I’m going to guess that it was a doll with beads, and the beads got tangled.

    My first reaction was “beads looped around doll’s neck to make it easier to hand down to somebody on the ground”.

    *Assuming it actually happened .

  33. Raven Nation

    OT: the Cato Institute urges us to stop worrying and learn to love intersectionality.

    The overall point is not necessarily wrong, but it’s almost painful to listen to Comenga try and may friends with current academic intersectionality.

    • Chipwooder

      Anyone that tries to legitimize intersectionality can fuck right off.

    • R C Dean

      Since the point of intersectionality is to create a stack of interest groups with various social and legal privileges, I don’t see how any soi-disant libertarian could be anything but completely opposed.

    • Gender Traitor

      Et tu, Cato?

      ::looks around:: Are we the last ones left?

      • Raven Nation

        Don’t forget, there were people at Cato all in on the Russia collusion hoax. And stuck to it long after it was obvious it was a hoax.

    • leon

      The way this is being reported is kinda dishonest. It is being made not a Felony so as to loosen the grip that certain Polygamist Leaders have on their communities, because as it is the people living in Colorado City (Polygamist settlment in southern utah) don’t have anything to do with the State government due to the huge levels of mistrust of the government because of past persecution.

      As it stands though Utah is still the only state to have Polygamy be banned in its constitution.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Colorado City is in Arizona.

      • leon

        It spans the border, and yes Colorodo City is on the AZ side. It’s Hilldale on the UT side.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Not trying to sound like I’m splitting hairs, but its an important distinction to make.

        Utah: Shall issue, limited booze, and no Polygamy.
        Arizona: Constitutional carry, booze everywhere, and Polygamy.

        In comparison, Arizona practically sells itself.

      • leon

        No it’s fair. Those Fuckers in SLC are ruining Utah.

        The booze situation is complicated. You have a set of legislators that like the arangment as is. And you have a set that doesn’t. And then you have a set that would rather get the state out of the booze business, but it produces a lot of money that is earmarked for schools, and they don’t want to cut elsewhere to make it up.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I just buy booze at the Wal-Mart SuperCenter in Page. #problemsolved.

      • leon

        I didn’t realize you lived so close to the border. Though i rarely make it to SE Utah.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I don’t. My family used to have a cabin outside St. George. It was a 4th of July thing until my aunt needed to sell it.

      • Viking1865

        They talked about that aspect in the article. I thought it was a pretty good one.

      • leon

        Yeah. This one is pretty good, but the headlines ive seen at other outfits are pretty click baity.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Good for them. They’re insane, but good for them.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Nobody needs a wife. /bitter divorced guy
      Hookers and friends with benefits on the other hand.

      More seriously this can only work if they get rid of the rampant welfare fraud used to subsidize these relationships.

    • leon

      “Proponents of this bill attempt to piggyback on the success of the gay rights movement by promoting the narrative that this initiative is about consenting adults doing what they will,” the anti-polygamy group Sound Choices Coalition said in a statement. “This has nothing to do about consenting adults or gay rights. It’s all about weaponizing God.”

      No one ever consented to being in a polygamist relationship. We MUST PROSECUTE THE MOTHER FUCKERS!

      • Lackadaisical

        “This has nothing to do about consenting adults or gay rights. It’s all about weaponizing God.”

        …what?

      • leon

        See because the people practicing polygamy are religious fundamentalists and socially traditionalists, they aren’t deserving of the same rights as other consenting adults.

        I know that there are guys who prey on teenage girls through polygamy. I’ve personally known several “lost boys” who were run out as teenagers from Hilldale/Colorodo city. The whole point of this is to break the power of fear that the Religious Leaders hold over those communities.

      • Ted S.

        See because the people practicing polygamy are religious fundamentalists and socially traditionalists, they aren’t deserving of the same rights as other consenting adults.

        I pretty much made this argument when Obergfell was decided, although I said it was because gays are thankfully no longer seen as icky, but those fundies practicing polygamy are.

        The horrified shrieking I got in response was pretty fun.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Needz moar gay polygamists!

  34. R C Dean

    Hmm.

    China has reportedly deployed 40 industrial incinerators to the epicentre of the coronavirus outbreak Wuhan.

    Chinese media reports that the furnaces have been shipped to the city amid ongoing fears the death toll is being covered up.

    NTD reports that the cabins are for the disposal of animal carcasses, while China Ship news reports the incinerators are for medical waste.

    Well, they should have less animal waste than they used to, since the big wet market is shut down. And my eyeball is that this should be a hell of a lot more than they need for medical waste – these are enough for 200 tons a day. Even if its just for medical waste, the reported rate of infection shouldn’t require nearly that much capacity.

    I am reminded of 4chan’s analysis of the rate of bodies being cremated.

    • UnCivilServant

      Chicoms lie. Of course the outbreak is worse than they’re reporting. When you rack up all the secondary data, it points to catastrophe in Wuhan, and increasing problems across the country.

      • R C Dean

        I agree. The secondary data (new incinerators, on-scene footage from Wuhan, constant ramping up of quarantine/travel restrictions, and the spike in sulfur dioxide in known hot zones), the official numbers look like so much bullshit. As in, order of magnitude bullshit.

    • robc

      I don’t know how accurate it was, but the sulphur pollution analysis was probably impressive.

    • Jarflax

      It is the Star. The first article linked at the bottom of the page you linked is this.

      SARS 2 Panic boogaloo

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      The “reported” rate of infection. So they could have a larger medical waste problem, than they’re admitting, they’re only now destroying animals with possible contamination, and/or they are incinerating a lot more bodies than are being reported dead.

    • LJW

      So my questions are. Are they covering it up because the virus is more deadly than thought? Or are they covering it up because their shit healthcare system is causing a higher death count than should be? Or both?

      • Gustave Lytton

        My hypothesis-
        The number of infected is far higher in Hubei than elsewhere and they’ve been lying/don’t know.

        A lot of the responses such as putting everyone who might be infected in “hospitals” is counterproductive for many/most patients but perhaps effective for protecting uninfected.

        The healthcare in China, specifically Hubei, is what it would look like here at those infection rates. It would overwhelm our system as well and reduce it to triage.

        A lot of unanswered questions about covid-19. Rates outside of China, and really outside of Hubei and a few others, are rather low and fatality rates are even lower. The one enigma is the Wuhan Princess which suggests that in enough concentrated setting, the rates can skyrocket. The other thing is apparently a large number can be asymptomatic and pass the virus.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        The other thing is apparently a large number can be asymptomatic and pass the virus.

        That’s the scariest part of this. It’s possible the first few people infected were asymptomatic and that is why the outbreak happened over such a large population so fast as the disease was spreading before anyone knew about it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The tell on all of this is that the ChiComs are worried enough to collapse their own economy in order to stave this off.

      They would never, ever, ever consider shutting down half or more of their industrial production if they weren’t scared shitless.

      • leon

        Maybe. But you have to remember that the incentives are also radically different over there. The desire to bury shit is high because if you are in power and something happens, you will bite the bullet from the Party.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Can everyone do me a solid?

      In the United States, the mortality rate of the 2017-2018 flu season was 10 percent. Can we all agree to treat influenza as seriously, if not more, than the Wuhan Plague? Particularly since the more virulent strains of the flu are more dangerous than the coronavirus? Like if you get the honest-to-goodness flu, and not just a bad cold that people call “the flu”, you stay home from work or school? That you vaccinate yourself and your family? That you wash your hands after touching doorknobs and your dicks?

      COVID-19, which is actually quite mild compared to SARS or MERS (MERS is some scary shit), is just a preview of what a really serious pandemic of the flu, H7N9 (Chinese Bird Flu) for example, would look like.

      • Tundra

        ^^Chicom plant^^

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Have you seen some of their honeypot agents?

      • Tundra

        No. Pics?

      • robc

        morality rate?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Sorry. Porn was in the other browser tab.

      • Ted S.

        Can we all agree to treat influenza as seriously, if not more, than the Wuhan Plague?

        No! People want to panic because it’s those icky commies covering something up!

        I remember the Great Ebola Freakout of 2014. Fun times at TOS.

      • Q Continuum

        I would never deny the public the opportunity of sharing my dick germs.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re including pneumonia in that figure, which definitely skews the numbers.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        They’re including pneumonia in that figure, which definitely skews the numbers.

        Very few people die of the flu or the coronavirus full stop. What is dangerous about them is that what they do to your lungs leaves you open to opportunistic infections, and in your already weakened state, that’s what kills you.

      • Gadfly

        Can we all agree to treat influenza as seriously, if not more, than the Wuhan Plague?

        How about I promise to freak out if Spanish Flu 2: Electric Boogaloo starts up, but keep treating the regular flu as a “meh”?

        That you wash your hands after touching doorknobs and your dicks?

        You go too far, sir.

        Just kidding. I’m a compulsive hand washer. I probably wash my hands too much. Although when you risk getting dick sweat on your hands from other people who don’t wash their hands, is there really any such thing as too much hand washing?

      • UnCivilServant

        is there really any such thing as too much hand washing?

        When you start to bleed from the scrubbing.

      • R C Dean

        I suspect that the mortality rate for the Wuhan virus* in a developed country with decent medical care is probably in the low single digits. The data is still very thin on the ground, though.

        However, I recall seeing a report that listed dead recovered Wuhan virus patients in China. The ratio was somewhere just under 1:4 dead v recovered. I haven’t seen that report other than the one time, because I suspect a lot of people were saying “Holy shit, that’s a bad mortality rate”. Makes me wonder what the mortality rate really is in China. Early/partial data, but I wouldn’t expect to see a ratio like that if 98% of their patients are recovering.

        I think its still way too early to have much of a handle on how bad it is, especially since the vast majority of data is sourced from the ChiComs. I’m not too worried about it in the US, though. I’ll be very surprised indeed if it kills 5% as many Americans as the flu.

        *COVID-19 is just another PC euphemism, in my book.

      • UnCivilServant

        *COVID-19 is just another PC euphemism, in my book.

        I agree. And Wuhan Virus is easier to remember.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It’s the difference between a “name” and a “designation”. Is “dog” a euphemism for “canis lupus familiaris”? Of course not. However, the latter is more useful in academic contexts, whereas, the former is more useful in everyday contexts.

      • R C Dean

        I will clarify:

        “Use of COVID-19 outside of technical epidemiological or virological research contexts is a PC euphemism, in my book.”

      • Not Adahn

        I would have believed you, had I not listened to NPR’s reporting on how the virus naming committee was specifically established to combat racism.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well, luckily for you an me, we don’t live in Canada, so we can call it what we want.

      • R C Dean

        Alright, the Kung Flu it is, then.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I suspect that the mortality rate for the Wuhan virus* in a developed country with decent medical care is probably in the low single digits.

        I get what you are saying as far as medical infrastructure, but remember that the mortality rate of the 1919 flu epidemic was only 2%. And, yet, 2 percent of the world’s population is still a lot of people. In America alone, the median rate was half a percent and that was still half a million dead. The WHO estimates the mortality rate of the Wuhan coronavirus is also around 2%. So, even if the Chinese are being honest, we should definitely take it seriously, but we have had influenza epidemics that have higher rates of death and those are not given the same amount of media attention. Familiarity breeds contempt.

      • UnCivilServant

        So then it’s the rate of infection, which appears to be higher with Wuhan than the flu.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        From what I understand, the jury is still out on that one. Some people say it is, some people say it isn’t. We need a bigger n to know for sure. Mortality rate comes into play to in that if a disease is deadly enough, transmission rates lower as it “burns out”.*

        *Knowledge of epidemiology stems from hours of Plague Inc.

      • R C Dean

        I get what you are saying as far as medical infrastructure, but remember that the mortality rate of the 1919 flu epidemic was only 2%.

        Yet the mortality rate of the flu today is 10% in the world’s most advanced medical system. I wonder what the explanation is for the increase in lethality.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It’s not quite apples to oranges but Granny Smiths to Red Deliciouses. The 1919 flu was good ol’ H1N1 (Spanish flu/Swine flu), the 2017 flu was H3N2 (Hong Kong flu). Different strains are more lethal than others. Our assorted medical doctors and other folks can tell us why, but from what I understand, different strains produce different antibody responses.

  35. Not Adahn

    You pardoned a Democrat because you thought I would want to have sex with his hair?

    that needs to go on one of those zero context quotes thingys.

  36. Rebel Scum

    Fuck. Off.

    Billionaire George Soros has once again taken shots at Facebook, this time calling for the removal of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and COO Sheryl Sandberg. According to Soros, Zuckerberg and Sandberg are “helping Trump get re-elected.”

    The Daily Mail reports that leftist billionaire George Soros has called for Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and COO Sheryl Sandberg to be removed from their positions at the company as he believes they are “helping Trump get re-elected” by refusing to fact check political ads.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      How much of Facebook stock does Soros own? Is he on the board of directors? Yeah I though so. What Rebel Scum said.

    • leon

      According to Soros, Zuckerberg and Sandberg are “helping Trump get re-elected.”

      Only Soros is allowed to spend billions to influence international politics.

    • Tundra

      Excellent.

  37. Rebel Scum

    Chelsea Handler✔
    @chelseahandler

    While our president exonerates criminals and releases them from jail, notice what color they all are.

    Do you have something against black people?

    • leon

      Not orange?

    • RAHeinlein

      Sounds like Chelsea missed Trump’s Super Bowl ad…

      • leon

        Why would she watch a game that enslaves black people?

    • Chipwooder

      I always prefer my sociopolitical commentary come from a hack “comedian” whose entire act was based on being a slutty lush.

    • R C Dean

      Pardons and commutations aren’t “exonerations”, you ignorant . . . . person.

  38. leon

    Have any of you gun nuts ever purchased from TSS? I hear they do free shipping on Firearms, but don’t know if their prices are that great.

    • Tundra

      Prices look pretty good. But everyone seems to be in the same ballpark.

      What are you looking for?

      • leon

        :Gazes Shifty Eyes:

        I’m not looking, but i’m helping a friend find an M&P 9. I know there are cheaper outfits but i’m usure about the whole FFL deal/ shipping.

        I mean my friend isn’t sure about it.

      • Not Adahn

        Anything that is a firearm will need to be shipped to a FFL.

        The LGS’s around here have gotten pretty canny about pricing their stuff above internet prices, but below internet prices + transfer fee.

      • leon

        Yeah. For some reason i feel like the retailers will get pissed if i just have it sent to them, without ever having talked to them.

      • Sean

        You need a kitchen table FFL.

        Flexible hours and they don’t get weird about you not buying a gun from their inventory.

      • Tundra

        Sales tax may be the only sticking point.

        I still prefer buying local.

    • Not Adahn

      They are not, based on the two “featured deals” I looked at. For comparison, bot Classic Firearms and ArmsUnlimited have that Beretta for $499.

    • Bobarian LMD

      More important to find the local FFL who will receive the shipped item.

      • leon

        These guys are actually local so I would probably buy direct from them

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      If you have one nearby, Rural King has become my go to place. They have the cheapest sale prices I can find, beating places like Cheaper Than Dirt, but also will do FFL transfers without any issue.

      I also really like they have have a basically fuck you sign to Dick’s that announces RK will never cave and always support gun rights.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    According to Soros, Zuckerberg and Sandberg are “helping Trump get re-elected.”

    That statement is bullshit, but aside from that, so what? Are you in favor of democracy, or are you now openly advocating one party rule?

    I think we all know the answer, but it’s mildly amusing to see them make their case so blatantly.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Thanks, GT-

    Ryan Newman walked out of a hospital Wednesday just days after being injured in a serious crash at the Daytona 500.

    A picture showed Newman leaving Halifax Medical Center holding the hands of his two children. His estranged wife, Krissie Newman, subsequently released video of the moment he walked out.

    Excellent. NASCAR has done a ton of work on the seats in those cars, to make them better/safer/stronger. Looks like it paid off.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      His estranged wife

      Well now we know the cause of the “accident”

  41. Lackadaisical

    Lots of really interesting drafts for articles out there…

    Finish your articles people.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      No.

      • Gustave Lytton

        ^Heroic Bartleby.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’d prefer not to be called that.

      • Chipwooder

        You scriveners are all alike

    • robc

      Plus mine.

      (Its not that interesting, but is at least short)

    • Nephilium

      My shame pile of drafts is safe on my machine. I don’t upload them until they just need some final touches.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t draft articles here.

      That way nosy people can’t see what I haven’t finished unless I make the mistake of posting before the whole set is done.

    • egould310

      Podcasts ate boring as fuck. I made it 4 minutes. Two stoners spouting profound insights at each other is real interesting. Not.