Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Feb 20, 2020 | Daily Links | 350 comments

What’s up everybody? I hope everyone is having a fantastic day. I’m… not terribly bad. Could be better. I did have a couple of Cadbury eggs today, so that’s a real plus. Is it even Lent yet? Have I jumped the gun? Easter is super late this year, so probably not. Anyhow, here are some links for your afternoon ignorement.

Mardi Gras may not be here yet, but there’s already been a float-pedestrian fatality in New Orleans.

A breed the same as OMWC and SP’s Wonderdog has found a fren who just happens to be a rare coyote. Also, given the Grand Pyr’s name, I feel for the poor dog.

This is how you take a firing.

Huh, you’d think coronavirus would be a bigger problem in Germany if this were true.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

350 Comments

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Fecal Transmission – Dibs on the album name

    • egould310

      Sorry, already taken by Assy Rick and the Santorums.

    • Chipwooder

      Kurt Cobain’s first abortive band was called Fecal Matter.

      • leon

        His last abortive project was called Brain Matter.

      • egould310

        Good one.

      • Jarflax

        I agree. It was not an abortive project. Love saw him through to the end.

      • Chipwooder

        Booooooo

      • SDF-7

        … *I* was saying Booo-urns…

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Easter treat recommendation: Starburst jelly beans.

    • Grumbletarian

      Those are good, but I’m eating Nerds jelly beans.

  3. Swiss Servator

    “Huh, you’d think coronavirus would be a bigger problem in Germany if this were true.”

    You mean the pr0n acting community, ja?

    • Tonio

      But one presumes the Scheisse pr0n industry is driven by local demand.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought it was subsidized by Big Metamucil

      • Spudalicious

        Better Sendacot so they have somewhere to rest between shoots.

  4. Gender Traitor

    So how do we know the coyote wasn’t begging to be domesticated?

    • Tonio

      From the article it sounds like he was at least semi-domesticated.

      There are also naturally occurring coyote-dog hybrids; natural in the sense that your in-heat dog escapes and gets impregnated by the local coyotes. I suspect that we will see coydog pets in the not to near future, though I wouldn’t trust them. I think it takes tens or hundreds of generations of weeding out to get something as sweet and docile as a typical Labrador.

      They apparently developed a domesticated fox strain in Russia.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Everything on the wolf side of canidea, dogs, wolves, coyotes, dingoes, and jackals, can interbreed successfully and often do. It is almost impossible to find a culture or wolf that doesn’t have some amount of dog DNA at this point. Eastern coyotes tend to have a larger amount of dog genes than their western counterparts, resulting in larger sizes and wider coast variability. The coyote in question definitely has dog DNA, as black coats are a mutation that arose from selective breeding in dogs that doesn’t occur in coyote or wolf populations without hybridization.

      • Tonio

        I love it when you talk to me like that.

      • Count Potato

        Now I want him to explain how Goofy is Mickey Mouse’s friend, but Pluto is his pet.

      • Caput Lupinum

        The real reason is that Goofy was made as an anthropomorphic dog and acts the same as the other anthropomorphic Disney characters, while Pluto was always meant to be a normal dog. No real thought was given beforehand about the contradiction by Disney. In universe, the discrepancy is never officially addressed either.

        My head canon involves a Faustian bargain with the mouse were Pluto lost his real name and voice and is forced to live as the mouse’s obedient servant in an unending horror show to spare the one he loves from Disney’s mephistophelian advances.

      • Count Potato

        wow

      • Spudalicious

        Clearly, Pluto is on the spectrum.

      • The Hyperbole

        yeah! And how come only the ducks don’t have to wear pants?

      • Jarflax

        No one has to wear them, But the ducks are the hung ones so everyone else covers up in shame.

      • Not Adahn

        Ducks don’t have external genitalia.

      • The Hyperbole

        Also, why exactly is Goofy assumed to be a dog? He has no tail ( that I know of) and what kind of dog has a furless face. Is it just the long ears? long ears don’t make one a dog, fucking rabbits (hares?) have long ears, donkeys have long ears.

      • Chipwooder

        The shape of his head doesn’t remotely resemble a donkey or a rabbit. It looks like a dog.

      • Jarflax

        If Pluto is a dog. Goofy is a dog

      • Caput Lupinum

        Aw, thanks, my social ineptitude is my best feature. Probably why I fit in here, come to think of it.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m now wondering if it was a pet once upon a time and lost its family.

      • Tonio

        Speculation in the article was that it was raised as a pet, then dumped.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Not for nothing, but wild coyotes and wolves learn to “play” with domestic dogs to kill and eat them.

        Coyotes at Ft Irwin would “mock play” and then bite the achilles of large dogs, hobbling them and then come back and eat them if you allowed your dog to roam.

        Vet told me about treating dogs with bites.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        ^^^THIS^^^

        Coyotes aren’t friends!

      • R C Dean

        Yup. Pater Dean and his quail hunting buddies all had stories of coyotes trying to stalk or attack their bird dogs.

      • Tonio

        They are wily, after all.

        But the story describes a single individual who was significantly domesticated. But that creates a whole ‘nother set of problems as you don’t know whether you’re dealing with one of Bobarian’s trickster coyotes, or an actual partially domesticated one such as in the article, until it’s too late.

        Me, I’m going to get a Smilodon and name it Kitty Kat, and leash walk it past the coyotes.

      • R C Dean

        Best to kill them all, and let Dog sort them out?

      • Animal

        Those yellow-eyed bastards will go right though a screen door if you’re dog’s in heat.

      • Viking1865

        Couple of hockey players come up the lane the other day.

      • Animal

        Ain’t no reason to get excited.

  5. leon

    This is how you take a firing.

    I heard drugs fell out of his ass all the way out of the building.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    The “threat” is only in your head, asshole

    The father of a Parkland shooting victim has called for Kaitlin Bennett to be stripped of her weapons after she said she would return to Ohio University with “an army of gun owners” for an open-carry walk through the campus.

    Fred Guttenberg told Newsweek that Bennett’s comment “pushes for the possibility of gun violence” and is just the latest example of why people should not be able to openly carry firearms in public.

    ——-

    Guttenberg replied to Bennett’s tweet, saying that she was “desperately seeking attention” and that an Extreme Risk Protection Order should be issued against her.

    “Sorry Kait, not getting the attention you wanted is not a reason to threaten gun violence. In fact, your tweet is the reason that open carry should not exist,” he wrote.

    “Comments like Kaitlin’s in which she pushes for the possibility of gun violence because she was feeling insulted should result in the immediate removal of her weapons,” he added Newsweek.

    “I would also add that as we have seen in Virginia, people are confusing open carry with open intimidation,” he added, referencing the fears of violence stoked ahead of the pro-gun rally that took place in Richmond, Virginia in January.

    Guttenberg also said that armed protesters had shown up in Virginia to “harass” advocates from the Moms Demand Action group a few months ago.

    “Kaitlin’s tweet is only the latest example of why open carry should not exist,” he added. “You now have gun owners using their guns as props to intimidate others because of open carry and it is inevitable that one of these displays will result in gun violence.”

    The guy who stands atop the corpse of his child screaming about how law abiding citizens should have no rights which might cause him emotional discomfort. The existence of a gun is not a threat just because you’re pathetic.

    Blow me, Fred.

    • leon

      Words are violence, I’m going to wilfully pretend to be a pussy who doesn’t comprehend language so that i can abuse you.

      Any Conservative who votes for Red Flag Laws either hates you Gun Owners or is far to stupid to be trusted with the ability to vote for lunch let alone on laws.

    • Akira

      Fred Guttenberg told Newsweek that Bennett’s comment “pushes for the possibility of gun violence” and is just the latest example of why people should not be able to openly carry firearms in public.

      Please provide a list of previous gun rights protests that became violent.

      • Grumbletarian

        But Charlottesville!!!

        /prog media

      • Tonio

        Dammit!

      • leon

        why people should not be able to openly carry firearms in public.

        For some the very sight of a gun in public is dangerous to their health.

      • Tonio

        Triggering, even.

      • egould310

        And Tonio delivers the stock pun.

      • Rebel Scum

        Way to ram it home. I mean, you really dropped the hammer.

      • Chipwooder

        He took aim and hit the bullseye

      • SDF-7

        We have to guard against slinging such puns around instead of barrelling along.

        And I’m sure Swiss appreciated being the receiver of this thread… or at least he will appreciate its scope.

      • Animal

        Lock, stock and barrel.

      • leon

        Some say that those carrying have only a Half-Cock.

      • Tonio

        Charlottesville, you Nazi-enabling shitlord!

        And I know that it was not specifically a 2A protest, and nobody got shot, but they will pin that on 2A supporters because of all the open carrying going on at that rally.

    • Tonio

      Sounds like Guttenberg is the one desperately seeking attention.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, what has Steve Guttenberg done lately?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Police Academy 26, which was released straight to VHS.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Don’t forget Three Men and a 30-Something Single Mom

      • Raven Nation

        Maybe he pissed off the Stonecutters.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’ll be the first to say, I loathe open carry like any other form of public attention-seeking.

      But I was at the VA lobby day rally, and there were zero incidents. AZ rally, zero incidents.

      I’m having to re-evaluate my assessment of the common North American Gun Nut.

      • leon

        I’m split on the Open Carry.

        If i carried, i think i would prefer concealed carry because i don’t want to signal that i’m armed. But at the same time i can see that if Gun Owners constantly are going to conceal their weapons, there is a part that that people get used to not seeing guns in public, and helps to increase the fear of seeing someone carrying.

        As an example: According to USCCA ~21% of the population of Utah has a CCP. I don’t see 1/5 people carrying weapons, and people who don’t carry get used to thinking that no one is carrying. I even had a (visiting) professor at school say she would cancel class if she found out a student was carrying a weapon to class, because the UT Supreme Court had just ruled that Public Universities couldn’t ban firearms on campus. I know that there were people carrying in that class, but luckily they were professional enough to let classes continue.

      • Mojeaux

        If I carried, I would not do it openly, especially here where it is constitutional carry.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Meh. Pluses and minuses to both. Sometimes you want it known, others not.

        The biggest thing, is that it’s nobody’s decision but mine (on public property).

      • EvilSheldon

        I mean, I’m all for facing your fears, but if someone is afraid of guns, it ain’t gonna help for them to see a bunch of pasty dudes in knockoff plate carriers walking down the street with slung ARs. It’s like curing someone’s fear of snakes by throwing them into the feeding pit at Florida Joe’s Rattlesnake Sanctuary.

      • Jarflax

        Too damn bad. Your fears don’t allow you to curtail my rights.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Everybody knows, at Florida Joe’s, that it’s the gators that’ll git ya!

      • Florida Man

        gators that’ll git ya!-

        Now I want Polk salad.

      • R C Dean

        Who said open carry was therapy for hoplophobic nancies?

        Denormalizing guns is a big part of the controller agenda. Open carry normalizes guns. Its a direct counterattack on the ccontrollers.

      • pistoffnick

        “…a bunch of pasty dudes in knockoff plate carriers walking down the street…”

        Yet they wouldn’t bat an eye if said pasty dudes were wearing a blue uniform and a badge.

      • Viking1865

        We had Active Shooter Training at work a while back. The cop, who was *hawk spit* a Yankee carpetbagger from New Yawk who spoke approvingly of the now defeated gun bill, was talking about how he goes to the range twice a year, which of course makes him a steely eyed gunfighter, a trained professional.

        Twice a year. At the range. Probably shooting at paper in a lane. Anyone who’s ever taken any kind of actual combat handgun course, and goes to the range once a month is probably a better (not to say good) actual gunfighter then the vast majority of cops.

        The most terrifying person other than an actual criminal I can imagine with a gun is a cop. I’d rather an actual child was standing in front of me holding a pistol then be confronted by a cop with one. Those fuckers are dangerous.

        Remember a few years back in front of the Empire State Building? Lunatic is firing at the cops with a .45. Cops fire back. Half a dozen wounded civilians, all with 9mm holes in them.

      • Spudalicious

        A 12lb trigger doesn’t exactly help with accuracy.

      • Gustave Lytton

        ain’t gonna help for them to see a bunch of pasty dudes in knockoff plate carriers walking down the street with slung ARs

        Given the poor trigger discipline, marksmanship, and generally lousy judgement of far too many cops, that’s probably not unreasonable.

    • Rebel Scum

      “Kaitlin’s tweet is only the latest example of why open carry writing should not exist,” he added. “You now have gun pen owners using their guns pens as props to intimidate others because of open carry writing and it is inevitable that one of these displays will result in gun violence mean words.”

      • Rebel Scum

        I’ll add that this seems like an example of progjection. I carry occasionally and the last thing I want is to have to draw and shoot someone. He knows what he would do with a gun and he assumes everyone else would too.

    • Chipwooder

      This fucking guy has been using his daughter’s death as a magic force field to deflect any criticism for the shit he does any says. Christ, what an asshole.

    • Enough About Palin

      Go ass fuck at least a dozen goats before you let him blow you

    • Raston Bot

      unhinged leftists constantly threaten her life. therefore she shouldn’t be allowed to carry.

      ^that doesn’t seem like a winning message but here we are

  7. Aus

    My day is ok… made some stock option plays today. Some went in my favor, some didn’t. Hopefully goes my way tomorrow and I can cash out and not get stuck holding the bag much longer.

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    And so he froze,
    in the Snow,
    like Jack,

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Guttenberg has become a vocal gun control advocate since the death of his 14-year-old daughter Jaime in the shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida on February 14, 2018. He recently made headlines after being removed from the State of the Union after an outburst in response to President Donald Trump’s address.

    Guttenberg, who set up an organization in his daughter’s honor called Orange Ribbons for Jaime, previously told Newsweek that he had acted out because Trump’s words were “hateful and inciting and ultimately not doing anything about why gun violence happens.”

    Take a bow, drama queen.

    • Naptown Bill

      I feel for the guy. I can’t imagine losing my daughter. Tragedy, however, does not give him a golden ticket to be a cunte.

      • Chipwooder

        He can kiss my ass. Using his daughter as a shield from criticism is grotesque.

      • Not Adahn

        I feel for the guy.

        Yeah, Munchausen’s by Proxy is a terrible disease.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      They named their Girl Jaime? That’s Spanish for Jim,
      ,Hi Me

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Hi You.

    • R C Dean

      Oh, just take your meds already, Guttenberg.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Jaime’s got a gun…

  10. The Late P Brooks

    She thought Ruth Bader, the dog, had made a new dog companion.

    Rock star.

    • Naptown Bill

      The bizarre transformation of Ruth Bader Ginsburg into some sort of pop culture phenomenon among the woke is definitely one of the weirder things about the 2020s, and they’ve just started.

      • Bobarian LMD

        They made a movie where a relatively attractive woman played a wizened gnome.

        It had Sex in the title.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      The magic juice that keeps her, Hillary and Bernie alive will probably be cut off if Trump somehow loses

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Heck, Trump probably has access to the magic juice ass well. How can he still have this much energy at his age?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Blah blah blah rich people suck and we should beat them up and take their lunch money

    This week, the richest man in the world announced that he will give $10 billion dollars to the fight to stop the climate crisis. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced his new fund in an Instagram post on Sunday.

    “Climate change is the biggest threat to our planet,” Bezos wrote. “I want to work alongside others both to amplify known ways and to explore new ways of fighting the devastating impact of climate change on this planet we all share.”

    The details are pretty nonexistent; he didn’t say what the money will fund or how quickly he’ll spend it. But regardless, $10 billion is a veritable shitload of money. As Robinson Meyer at the Atlantic wrote, that investment would virtually double the amount American philanthropists spend on climate change. If my dude Jeff spends that sum evenly across 10 years, he’ll be the biggest climate philanthropist in the U.S. by a wide margin. It’s like Christmas came early for climate action!

    To which I say, bah humbug.

    To be clear, it’s not that I think we can take on the climate crisis without massive investments. Climate action that meets the scale of the crisis will require a radical restructuring of society. We’ll need new grids, new infrastructure, new food systems, and more, and all of that will cost money. It’s also not that I don’t think some of that money should come from Bezos, whose net worth is currently $130 billion. I just don’t think Bezos should get to decide how to spend it.

    ——-

    Even if Bezos does fund some good climate work, I still think relying on billionaires to fund climate action is a bad idea. For one, it could force those who accept the money to keep Bezos happy, which may mean, for instance, not calling his company out for threatening to fire workers for speaking out without approval about the need for climate action.

    Oh, no. The richest man in the world thinks he knows where his money should go better than I do. Not fair.

    • Ted S.

      Bossy people like this writer are the real greedy ones.

    • Grumbletarian

      Their “tax the rich” schemes still rely on billionaires to fund their pet projects.

      • Tonio

        Until they run out of other people’s money. But they probably believe that the money will, somehow, magically replenish. Perhaps those “investments” in government schools and green energy will finally start paying dividends.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        It’s not pure until it gets filtered through the bureaucracy.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Pure? It’s usually gone by then.

      • Gadfly

        They use the homeopathic method of purity.

    • Rhywun

      not calling his company out for threatening to fire workers for speaking out without approval about the need for climate action

      Oh fuck off. It’s called “don’t talk shit about your employer” and it’s SOP. You want to blather about climate nonsense, quit your job and go on tour with Greta or something.

    • Rebel Scum

      I just don’t think Bezos should get to decide how to spend it.

      Government have a clear and successful record of allocating and efficiently utilizing funds.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I was cracking up last night when Biden touted solar energy and trains as the way to stop global warming. I remember when solar energy was a big deal in 1978.

      • Rhywun

        And remember, he’s one of the “moderates”.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I still remember the solar energy windmill I made for my 6th grade science project.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Don’t get me wrong, governments don’t always listen to scientists or workers, either. Just look at our current presidential administration. But at least in government, there are democratically elected leaders who can regulate how climate funding should be spent to protect the interest of the country and the planet. If leaders are doing so in ways we don’t like, we can put pressure on them, and if they don’t respond to us, we can run other candidates to replace them. Those leaders are ultimately accountable to voters.

    By contrast, no matter how much money pours into his climate fund side hustle, Bezos’ job isn’t to represent Americans. It’s to be the CEO of Amazon. He’s accountable not to the American people but to his shareholders.

    Das collective uber alles.

    Go suck on a tailpipe.

    • RAHeinlein

      I think this person means “government scientists or workers”

    • The Other Kevin

      Those leaders are ultimately accountable to voters.

      That’s why they have a 10% approval rate but a 90% re-election rate.

    • Grumbletarian

      This putz overlooks the fact that society can very democratically decide to no longer buy stuff from Amazon, or use any Amazon services and Jeff would in short order stop having all the power they claim he has. He’s just pissed that society has overwhelmingly voted in favor of Amazon.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He’s just pissed that he doesn’t measure up and that his girlfriend thinks he’s a loser.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      A high school friend has a project going at CERN. There’s a good chance he’ll win a Nobel Prize if he doesn’t create a black hole that kills us all first. Hearing his description about how the money is handed out is eye opening. In theory, there are benevolent managers deciding on the best projects, but that’s not the reality.

      • Naptown Bill

        I work at a regional environmental partnership made up of a bunch of people from various parts of various levels of government and nonprofits. The EPA more or less runs the show, and they’re the only people not paid via grants. Everything else is grant money. And you can tell. Have I mentioned there was a “microaggression workshop” run by the Diversity Workgroup for anyone who wanted to get paid to be woke in a conference room instead of pretending to do something of value?

  13. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    Just called a redfin real estate agent to come over on Saturday. We had originally settled on moving out of VA in 2-3 years when we get the student loans paid off, but we’re hoping we can get while the gett’n is still good in the local real estate market. If the agent thinks we can sell it for high enough without sinking too much into repairs, we may pull the trigger without a real plan in place. All we know is that I would be able to keep my job in either of the cities we’re considering. We’re still split between Ft. Collins and Dallas. Impulsive? Yes. Exciting? Yes.

    • Tonio

      I’ve lived here my entire life and am seriously considering relocating.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Through all the dirt and muck, I can see what once was. Up here in NoVa, there’s very little of that old Virginia left. Just mile after mile of asshole office drones packed into cookie cutter townhomes, honking their way to work each day. I’m 35 miles out from the city in a rural area, and I have to wait for a break in the line to get out of my neighborhood during rush hour.

        I’ll save the full rant and say that, just like California, the prog drones have ruined a beautiful place.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        “, I can see what once was. Up here in NoVa, there’s very little of that old Virginia left. Just mile after mile of asshole office drones packed into cookie cutter townhomes, honking their way to work each day….”

        You just described Colorado. I lived there in the 90s. There was pretty much nothing between Denver and Castle Rock, about 40 miles to the south. Now that whole stretch along I25 is lined with townhomes and a light rail. CA and NY transplants ruined that state.

      • Shirley Knott

        “Call someplace paradise, kiss it goodbye.”

      • Chipwooder

        On the one hand, I am pretty sure I’m going to hate living in this state going forward and I do ponder leaving. On the other hand, it will be very hard to leave the family behind. I was gone for a little over a decade and coming home was a wonderful experience. Especially as my parents are getting close to their seventies, I don’t want to go back to seeing them once or twice a year. Don’t want to take my kids away from their cousin, who they adore.

        It’s tough. Not sure where I’d go even if I did decide to vamoose.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        If we returned to Dallas, it would be exactly that. Grandparents, cousins, etc. It’s one of the big benefits and one of the big detractors of moving back there. The other detractors being that it’s an enormous metropolitan area and they don’t have winter down there.

      • Chipwooder

        Ah, I see. VA wasn’t your original home. I would definitely leave if that were the case.

        Would it have to be Dallas proper, or a smaller city near Dallas work?

        No winter would be a detractor for me, but my wife will never agree to move anywhere that gets more winter than here. I’m still amazed I managed to talk her into leaving Florida for Richmond. She grew up in Erie and it inspired in her a loathing of snow.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It would be in the northern suburbs. The office location is in plano/Frisco, so I’m buoyed to the north side.

        Wife is a native Texan and all of her extended family is within a few hours radius. Personally, I liked but didn’t love Dallas. Culturally tons better than DC and Palo Alto. Weather and nature-wise, it sucks. It’s also much bigger of a city than I’d prefer to live.

      • R C Dean

        her extended family is within a few hours radius

        When I say every silver lining has a dark could, this is the kind of thing I am referring to.

      • RAHeinlein

        Wait – TrashyEscapedTexas?

      • Gadfly

        …they don’t have winter down there.

        Hey, we had a whole two hours of snow this year. That counts in my book.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t think we in NYC have even had two hours of snow.

      • Shirley Knott

        It’s been a year since WA has recorded an inch of snow.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        This has to be the mildest winter in my lifetime. In philly now and all we had was an immeasurable dusting and one week of cold

    • Raston Bot

      Ft. Collins and Dallas are, from my very limited experience, nearly opposite.

  14. Mojeaux

    There is a pack of coyotes in the woods behind our house. Around 11:00 p.m. every night, they start yipping and yapping. Then again about 3:00 a.m. Then again about 5:00 a.m. Assholes.

    We can’t let our cats out any ore, and we had them trained to the cat door. But they would go out into the woods and not come when they were called. Then we saw a coyote (at that time, we didn’t know we had any) and they became indoor cats forever more.

    They still whine to go outside.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I hear a weird mix of crack heads and drunk yuppies in the middle of the night here

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Those are good, but I’m eating Nerds jelly beans.

    Never had those. I like Starburst because they have some tartness to them.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      ^this…

  16. The Late P Brooks

    We’re still split between Ft. Collins and Dallas. Impulsive? Yes. Exciting? Yes.

    Nice. It might be a good idea to sell out while President Cartoon Villain is still in office. I suspect the housing market will lose some luster (even in NoVa) if one of those other idiots gets elected.

    • Tonio

      Well, you might get an influx of people associated with the new administration moving in. But I’d say get while the getting is good.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Yep, fear is that a recession puts us into a buyer’s market and makes this shit hole of a house hard to sell. I’d also like to avoid burning through all the equity we built up solely because we waited to sell.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Honestly, if one of those assholes get elected, NoVa will be the only part of the country still flourishing,

        The sweet government teat will never stop flowing.

      • R C Dean

        This. The Imperial Capitol was never touched by the Great Recession. It grew and flourished under the benevolent gaze of Barack, First of His Name.

    • Tonio

      Nice.

  17. Pine_Tree

    The whole “pooping on the sidewalk” think in China – in a fairly new, populated industrial city – was one of the things that really surprised me. Mostly kids – nobody even blinks at that. Add the pervasive sewage smell from (among other things) the lack of p-traps in lots of the plumbing, and it’s hard to get past the mental impression that you’re getting way more exposure to human waste than you’re used to.

    • pistoffnick

      From my hotel room in Donguan, I would watch the squatters in the next lot hang ass cheeks over the river bank and drop bombs every morning.

      Yes, the smell was pervasive

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yep

      Most of the migrant workers had never seen indoor plumbing prior to coming to the city. It’s no wonder that they don’t take full advantage of it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If only they could weed themselves out of the gene pool without taking innocents with them. The thallium milkshake challenge perhaps?

  18. Endless Mike

    Great Pyrenees are bred to kill coyotes. I’m surprised this story didn’t turn out differently.

    • Not Adahn

      Yeah, that was some excellent guard doggin’ Lou.

  19. Francisco d'Anconia

    Richard Lee was the police chief for nearly 20 years until a three-member selectboard voted to rely solely on coverage from the New Hampshire State Police during the meeting. He worked part-time as the only member of the department — which covers the town of Croydon’s roughly 700 residents.

    700 residents? My town is 600 and no cops (state police and sheriff only). I applaud the board’s decision. NOW…get rid of the board!

    But I like the guy’s pluck!

    • leon

      Haha. Yeah i lived in a town of 4000 and we piggybacked off the neighboring towns police department and the county sheriff.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Birds of Prey is bombing because it’s an awful movie. I saw it for free on a free movie pass that was about to expire and I still feel like I got ripped off.

      My daughter wants me to take her to see Sonic the Hedgehog next weekend. It has to be better.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I haven’t seen Birds of Prey but I took my son to see Sonic. It’s o.k. My son seemed to enjoy himself that was the important thing.

    • Rhywun

      America isn’t ready for a girl-power movie.

    • Mojeaux

      It is possible that Margot Robbie is the most beautiful woman that has ever or will ever live.

      • The Hyperbole

        You misspelled Audrey Hepburn.

      • Mad Scientist

        No, she misspelled Grace Kelly.

      • The Hyperbole

        That’s a very close second, I’ll give you that.

      • R C Dean

        Tough call. Probably best to just have a short list rather than try to pick the One True Most Beautifulest EVAR.

        I might nominate Christie Brinkley for the short list.

      • SDF-7

        Can we just roll a golden apple into a wedding reception or something?

      • Jarflax

        Hail Discordia!

      • AlmightyJB

        I would add Mila Kunis.

      • Gdragon

        Yep, it’s virtually impossible to single out just one. Although I still do have a pick and it is Liz Taylor. 😉

      • Grumbletarian

        Ingrid Bergman

      • Raven Nation

        Yeah. First time I saw Casablanca I was in love.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You misspelled Monica Bellucci

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, her eyes are too far apart and her lips look bloaty.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Man, that’s a Mount Rushmore with those three.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That bitch farts in her sleep…

        Ric Okasek sold his soul for the correct answer.

      • Mojeaux

        Monica Bellucci, I will allow.

      • Jarflax

        Sorry, straight women and gay men do not get to vote in this. That is how we got crap like Twiggy.

      • Mojeaux

        Check your premises.

      • Jarflax

        Mr. Mojeaux in for a surprise?

      • Mojeaux

        Your premise is that women and gay men think Twiggy is attractive. I wouldn’t be so crass as to go the “not all women” and “not all gay men” route, however.

        Women like Twiggy are clothes hangers, no more, no less. Clothes that fit on Twiggies are aspirations of women to be able to wear them, with the (mostly mistaken) belief that other people (women) DO find Twiggies attractive.

        Twiggy may be attractive to a select few individuals, but Twiggy is an aspiration and ideal based on stupid assumptions.

      • Jarflax

        No my premise is thatattractiveness can only be judged properly by that which is attracted. Vegans don’t get to judge steaks. Twiggy was just a joke thrown in.

      • Rhywun

        I’ll push back on that. I have no difficulty identifying an attractive woman, despite having no interest in doing so.

      • Mojeaux

        attractiveness can only be judged properly by that which is attracted

        Ohhhhhhh, okay. I see.

        Check the premise.

      • Jarflax

        I am sure you can recognize one. But if you disagree with a straight male about which woman is more attractive, or to be fair in the reverse case which male is more attractive, whose opinion is more relevant? It’s attractiveness we are talking about, not some abstract beauty, and if you do not feel the type of attraction you are manifestly not the best judge.

      • Mojeaux

        So you’re saying that vegans are not attracted to steak. At all. Ever.

      • Rhywun

        if you do not feel the type of attraction you are manifestly not the best judge.

        I’ll allow it. I was using “attractiveness” as a stand-in for “beauty”.

      • Tres Cool

        Rebel Wilson

        Yeah you know me!

      • Jarflax

        Whose opinion of the quality of a steak would one consult? A vegan who kind of sort of wishes they could try a bite, or a fat carnivore guy savoring every morsel? An extremely attractive woman causes actual sexual images in a straight man’s mind. Do you see a woman and imagine what it would feel like to run your hand or tongue along those curves? Do you picture the way her breasts will move as the bra comes off? You are not having the experience being judged. It isn’t just noting symmetry, proportions, and eye size.

        I’m apparently poking a hot spot here, but I genuinely do not get why. My opinion of most male heartthrobs is that I don’t see the attraction, but my opinion of them is worthless because it isn’t me that is being attracted. If you are not attracted to women on what basis are you judging attractiveness? I think the guys posting above would agree with me that we are not judging raw beauty, we are judging degree of desire aroused.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, see, here’s the thing. I said “most beautiful.” I didn’t say, “most attractive.” I didn’t say, “I’d do her.” I said, “most beautiful.”

        Your premise is that I can’t have an opinion because I don’t desire to run my tongue on her skin.

        Leaving aside whether I can have an opinion or not, I said absolutely nothing about desirability or attractiveness. I said “beautiful.”

        Beautiful != attractive != desirability.

        See: hot/crazy matrix.

      • Jarflax

        Ok, fair enough, I popped in down the thread and missed that you had posted originally. Mea culpa.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Elizabeth Hurley during her “The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles” days (before she became famous). Holy Mary Mother of God, when I saw her for the first time on that show I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven. She’s just a complete vision in that episode, an Impossible Dream come to life. Young Indy was a total tool for leaving her. I even had a gay friend in Uni who said that she — in that episode — was the closest he’d ever come to being “turned.” Amazing.

      • RAHeinlein

        Julie Christie in Dr. Zhivago.

      • R C Dean

        The short list may not be all that short. I see nobody yet that I would object to,

  20. Private Chipperbot

    That doesn’t look like a Spielberg…

    Still, the fledgling adult entertainer vows she won’t have sex on camera with anyone else, out of respect for her fiancé, Chuck Pankow, 47.

    • Count Potato

      Or Kate Capshaw

    • RAHeinlein

      Keith Ellison – “Minnesota Attorney General Fighting to help Minnesotans afford their lives and live with dignity”

    • SDF-7

      STEVE SCALISE PUT SMACK DOWN ON STUPID TWEETER… AND BY SMACK DOWN, MEAN….

      With apologies to our resident cryptids, of course…

      • R C Dean

        No kidding. Scalise from the top rope!

        $20 says Ellison had to Google that. Or have one of his staff tell him.

        I’m sure somewhere in there is “NOT A REAL BERNIEBRO!”

      • Subwoofer

        This is the reply you’re looking for

        “Bernie Bro” describes internet activism, Rep. Scalise. A decidedly nonviolent approach to political conflict.

        That you would compare that to the violent attack on your person shows ill will to your fellow Americans. I hope you will consider more precise language in the future.

      • R C Dean

        Lets go to Urban Dictionary:

        An insufferable, self-righteous, left wing activist, who refers to everyone who doesn’t share his narrow political views (a.k.a. anyone who doesn’t feel the Bern) as a corporate puppet/media whore.

        A colloquial term used to describe volatile, unstable, angry Bernie Sanders supporters.

        Apparently, she is the only person who thinks it refers to internet activism. Of interest, according the UD, it was invented by the Hillary campaign to denigrate Bernie supporters.

      • Rhywun

        it was invented by the Hillary campaign to denigrate Bernie supporters

        LOL of course

    • Chipwooder

      Keith’s not very bright, is he?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He was/maybe still is a member of the Nation of Islam.

        So that’s a hard no.

      • Jarflax

        19 Motherships coming to kill the white Devils!

      • Chipwooder

        Tricknology!

      • hayeksplosives

        He is stone cold stupid. He was speaking to my former employer in 5th district MN, a defense contractor, and I was seated I in the front row, mere feet from him.

        He started in on a standard rant and talked about war and stuff and realized that his inevitable line of reasoning led to “and then y’all will be out of jobs.” He broke out in a sweat and tried to backpedal.

        I crossed my arms, held my chin up and smiled broadly while staring without blinking the rest of the speech.

        He couldn’t look away. Turns out he’d been assured the front row audience would be curated and friendly to him. I had been invited because I was a woman executive so the “outreach committee” assumed i was pro Dem/DFL. They even fed me a slip of paper right before the speech with a “friendly question” for him. I took it, read it, put my Nicolette gum in it and told the organizer “Oh Deb. You got the wrong bitch for this one.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        my Nicolette gum

        The worst.

      • hayeksplosives

        Rofl.

        You know what I meant.

    • Count Potato

      I can smell smoke from here.

    • Sensei

      That has to sting!

    • Rufus the Monocled

      What the fuck Ellison?

      • R C Dean

        As near as I can tell, he is classic nomenklatura – his sole skill/ability is as a sycophant to those in power. It is a role that strips a man, not only of self-respect, but of the things that give rise to self-respect – intelligence, dignity, honesty, ability, perspective, you name it. We should expect nothing other than self-serving stupidity from him.

        He acts like a contemptible creature because he is a contemptible creature.

    • R C Dean

      Ellison inquires:

      Also, are we holding all candidates responsible for the behavior of some of their supporters?

      I would bet my own money that he has done exactly that with Trump.

      • Ted S.

        The Democrats have certainly done it regarding the shooting of Gabby Giffords.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Grilled tuna salad with swiss cheese on sourdough. Tasty!

    • Tonio

      Tuna melt.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        that was my Lunch…..

  22. Juvenile Bluster

    RIP Sy Sperling, who was not only the founder of Hair Club For Men, he was also a client.

    • The Hyperbole

      Did he have something on Trump?

    • Sensei

      As somebody who lost most of his hair by his middle 20s I could relate.

      At the time I looked into it and it was pricey! Both the piece and the upkeep for the wig and blending your existing hair into.

      Smart business because of the reoccurring revenue.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thank goodness for Michael Jordan bringing the bald look mainstream.

      • The Hyperbole

        You misspelled Telly Savalas.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ahem, misspelled Yul Brynner.

      • hayeksplosives

        And Yul Brenner (yum!).

        But young dudes voluntarily shaving bald and sporting a goatee was Jordan inspired.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Puh-LEEEZE.

        Patrick Stewart. Honestly, somedays I think you people are all retarded.

    • Gdragon

      I kind of think of him as the groundbreaker who laid down the path that Keith and Clyde walked on in the “Just For Men” ads.

      “No play for Mr. Grey!”

  23. hayeksplosives

    It is my privilege to share with you guys and dolls that GoFundMe finally transferred the money for Yusef to my checking account, and I just Paypalled the total to Yusef.

    You are the best.

    • Chipwooder

      Excellent! Bravo to you for organizing the whole thing.

      • Naptown Bill

        I second that motion!

    • Rufus the Monocled

      There was a GoFundMe for Yusef?

      Damn. Missed it.

      • hayeksplosives

        It’s still technically open until 90 days after the last donation. So if you or anyone else wants to go again, it’s “Bob’s Farewell to Wendy”.

        I will sweep any late donations into a monthly payout.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Dumb question. Never did this before but in the area where you put your name, will there be an option on the next page to put a ‘public name’ like Rufus?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        yes

      • R C Dean

        Put your screen name in as the name. That’s what will show on the list of contributors.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That Guy Anonymous was awesome!

      • R C Dean

        He just kept on a-giving. What a mensch.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I get to Cauterize the Skin Cancer off my right arm, Yippeee!
        I also wear long sleeves and sunhats at all time s nowadays,

      • Spudalicious

        I’ve got a butane torch. Just sayin’.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I have an appointment Monday at 9, to finish it,
        Thanks to everyone, and a Special Hug to Hayek, for putting it together as fast as she did!

    • Shirley Knott

      Yay! And thank you for setting this up and managing everything!

    • Spudalicious

      Nice work, chickiepoo.

    • hayeksplosives

      O M G

      The envelope is pushed again.

    • Walford

      I would like to get a shirt made that has MAGA on the front and Trump sucks on the back. Confusion, mayhem, and hilarity would ensue.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Oh, Fuck Off Tulpa!
        is that what you were looking for?

      • Walford

        I’ve had my “Fuck Off” already but I don’t know if the timer gets reset after a certain time of not posting.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Oh, OK then, just Fuck Off in general, Thursday and such…..

      • Walford

        Oh I’ve been fucking off all week since I’m in a going on vaca next week and am in a good mood.

      • Mojeaux

        Collectively, we have the attention span of a gnat.

      • Walford

        Gnat that anything wrong with that.

      • Mojeaux

        To clarify:

        Ted’S’s position at the far right on the Bell curve in no way impacts our collective gnat’s attention span.

      • Ted S.

        Except for that blankety-blank Ted S., who seems to remember everything that was posted multiple times and asks if drugs fell out of the ass of the person who posts it yet again.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We love you Man!!!!
        /Buzzed Yusef…………….

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Collectively, we have the attention span of a gnat.

        Please. We have the attention span of a camera flash.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You buried the best part.

      “The group, calling itself Pigeons United To Interfere Now, or P.U.T.I.N”

      • The Hyperbole

        Now that’s funny.

      • B.P.

        “…local pigeon rescuer Mariah Hillman leapt into action…”

        Cat ladies everywhere suddenly feel a jolt of self esteem. And from the comments…

        “This is flagrant cultural appropriation.”

  24. Ayn Random Variation

    New treat in my open office…the woman in front and to the left of me (I’m Keith Hernandez) just started having a pic of a waving Obama on one of her 2 screens. Right in my line of vision.
    It’s a brilliant troll, since she can’t see anything I put on my screen.
    Advice?

    • straffinrun

      Can you print out a picture of Epstein waving back?

    • R C Dean

      Wait for her to leave her desk.

      Before her computer logs her out, replace Obama with a pic of Trump.

      • Not Adahn

        Yeaaaah…

        That’s a firin’.

      • Rhywun

        I would assume for her, since she left her desk without locking her account.

      • Not Adahn

        Both. For security violations.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Put “The Hair” on her monitor.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        By that I don’t mean the kind of hair that got Clarence Thomas in trouble.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Lol

    • egould310

      Ignore it. Ignore her.

      • straffinrun

        Like a fart?

      • Spudalicious

        Unless it’s your own, then savor it and ask others in the area how your shit flakes taste.

      • Chafed

        So Straff is saying Ayn should crop dust her coworker.

    • The Hyperbole

      Try to not be bothered by a picture of Obama?

      • straffinrun

        And avoid the 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

    • Jarflax

      So her desk is the Home Team dugout?

      • Spudalicious

        Euphemisms…

      • Jarflax

        Lol, no I am seriously trying to figure out what was meant by (I’m Keith Hernandez)

      • Ayn Random Variation

        It takes a NYer

  25. straffinrun

    My sister unblocked me on FB and the post she has today is a pic of her sitting on an airplane reading “White Fragility” and her caption is, “Some white guy saw me reading this and gave me an eye roll!” All her dipshit friends are piping in with You-go-girl! After we solve Ayn Random’s dilemma, can we figure out how to get me blocked by sis again?

    • Mojeaux

      Post “It’s okay to be white.”

      • KSuellington

        “Islam is right about women”.

      • Mojeaux

        In order for that to get a satisfactory reaction, she would have to admit to herself that Islam is not a friend to feminism and that woke feminism is wrong.

      • straffinrun

        Maybe I’ll ask my wife to post that.

    • KSuellington

      Sounds like she needs to check her female privilege.

    • B.P.

      So, she was parading around an airport with the book trying to get a reaction, then? When I’m reading a book, I’m usually looking at the book and and not the facial expressions of those nearby.

      • straffinrun

        You’ve met her I see. It’s weird to me because every time you buy a book here the bookstore puts a cover on it. Doesn’t matter the book. It’s nobody’s business what you’re reading.

      • Mojeaux

        This is why God invented ebooks.

      • Rhywun

        ^this

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        . . . every time you buy a book here the bookstore puts a cover on it.

        God, that’s so civilized.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        You’ve seen the kinds of comic books the Japanese read?

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Post a pic of Biden, Warren and Bernie ( to cover all the bases) with the caption “White Fragility “?

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Ok, but is she hot?

      • Jarflax

        Planning a penetration test of her ‘white fragility’?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Always willing to help.

      • straffinrun

        Used to be.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You two cut it out or I swear I’ll turn this car around.

    • Spudalicious

      “Your husband let you out of the kitchen?”

  26. Shirley Knott

    Celebrate with me, if you will, week 2 of ‘new computer, new OSes’ completing successfully.
    My much loved, much used, 2009 17” MacBook Pro finally died the real death.
    Financial reality set in, and I purchased an HP 17” laptop with Windows 10, 16GB, Ram 1TB SSD, partitioned 128 GB of disk to Ubuntu Lime Mint. Built in CD/DVD burner.
    My environments are mostly set up now, although I need to master more hot keys and probably create some, especially on Linux. I suspect I’ll be spending more of my time there than on W10.
    Interestingly, to me anyway, Linux is considerably more performant than Windows. VCV Rack, for example, reports meaningfully more processing power on L vs the identical parch (same file) on W. Also, Linux support for midi and audio are much better now than the last time I tried setting it up.
    Bob, you should check out VCV Rack, or miRack the paid IOS clone.

    • Count Potato

      I think Reaper runs on Linux as well.

      • Shirley Knott

        Yup. Switching from Logic Pro, I’m looking at Reaper and LMMS on both OSes. First look, I like LMMS, but that’s way premature.

    • hayeksplosives

      Yeah, but she’s a woman of color and a member of the religion of peace in a true blue district.

      She could sacrifice a baby on live TV and still win re-election.

    • Viking1865

      “”I understand children need to be made aware of the world, but should we really be promoting fetishes in Year Nine? I don’t think so.

      “The first thing that stood out was ‘suck their toes’. That’s quite niche.

      “There were some [ideas] I was really shocked at. I don’t think they’ve hit the target demographic. There is no way I think a 14-year-old should be reading this.

      I remember 10 or 15 years ago absolutely laughing my ass off at all the stupid crazy SoCons who used to swear that after the Left got gay marriage, they’d start sexualizing children.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        But they’re suggesting toe sucking as an alternative to sex. Along with “Naming a star after them” “Adopt a pet for phem” and “Proposing marriage”.

        Jus’ sayin’

      • Florida Man

        Proposing marriage is the most problematic.

      • commodious spittoon

        Proposing an abortion OTOH is a really sweet first date idea.

  27. hayeksplosives

    Sadly, the spousal unit has had sand in his vagina all day but swears that it is my fault for “poking him with a stick”, “making him do it”, and “being a cunt” to him.

    He believes he is punishing me by dropping me off at the house and going elsewhere for a few hours to get away from me.

    I couldn’t be more pleased.

    • hayeksplosives

      Bipolar disorder. It’s real. How does one persuade a loved one to get checked for it?

      • Caput Lupinum

        It’s more likely to be an axis II disorder rather than bipolar. People who are bipolar are very aware that they are bipolar, the manic episodes are kind of hard to miss. The mood swings with bipolar also aren’t hourly, but last for weeks or months at time.

        Unfortunately, axis II disorders, or personality disorders if you prefer, are notoriously hard to convince people of.

      • commodious spittoon

        axis II

        Fourth Reich Boogaloo?

      • Gender Traitor

        Hayek, please feel free to e-mail me at LinnieRed [at] WOH [dot] RR [dot] com if you care to hear any more about my second-hand experience with this (more than I’ve mentioned here before.)

    • Ayn Random Variation

      He’s not trying to punish you. He needs his alone time. It’s not always about you

      • Jarflax

        ^this

      • Mojeaux

        His pattern of behavior suggests that he does not know how to communicate his “it’s not about you, dear” to his dear. In fact, his pattern of behavior is to blame her for his distress.

      • hayeksplosives

        What he needs is to find purpose in life. Until he enlarges his own world, he will find his enemies in his small world, which is now our home. So I’m the enemy.

        He wanted to spend the day together. We did. He didn’t like me being silent and didn’t like me talking. He gave mixed signals all along the way and contradicted himself. I wanted to avoid a fight so I’d say nothing but somehow that egged him on too.

        Now I’m eating pasta salad on the patio and listening to birds. I intend to stay in the guest room for a few days.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Are you Elizabeth Warren?

      • hayeksplosives

        That sounds like an insult.

        I shall ignore it.

      • Spudalicious

        That’s an insecure man who is lost.

      • hayeksplosives

        Well, he’s back from the local bar and is acting completely pleasant now.

        I am on eggshells but it might be ok now.

      • Not Adahn

        Bar?

      • Florida Man

        I guess he isn’t off the sauce.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Is he still the sole driver?

      • Jarflax

        I hate to weigh in on this because we only have your perspective and one side is never entirely accurate, but if things are as you have described I’d say the only chance things get better is if he finds some work, and work that gives him some satisfaction and purpose. From your accounts I think his problem is resentment at the move and everything you describe doing to alleviate that is (pardon me here) dead wrong backwards and counterproductive. You can’t fix resentment by giving people things. That makes it worse because the gifts and indulgences just highlight the fact that they are freeloading and not in control of their own life.

        He is still there grudgingly, the only way he stops being angry is if he comes to grips with the fact that he lives in Cali now, and makes the best of it. That means finding something productive to do. Also he needs a job not a hobby. Purpose is what heals resentment.

      • Mojeaux

        Purpose is what heals resentment.

        +1infinity

      • Mojeaux

        But there is likely a personality disorder also and/or mental illness. Mix that with alcohol and…

        A dude who’s all there would have actually gone out and gotten a job just to have somewhere to be. Retired dudes who are used to being productive eventually go get a job at Home Depot.

        She can’t give him a purpose or resolve any more than she can give him a sense of self-worth. I mean, other than saying, “Go get a job” and expecting it to happen, nothing’s going to happen if he doesn’t want it to.

      • Jarflax

        1. I’m not suggesting she can do anything to fix this. She can’t. He has to do it for himself

        2. I’m not going to chime in on a personality disorder from a one sided account. Nor am I accusing Hayek of any deception or bad faith. But we have one side only and your perception of a relationship you are in can NEVER be fair and unbiased.

        It’s a tough situation for him as described. It is brutal to be uprooted for someone else’s ambitions. It puts you in a situation where you feel you have made this massive sacrifice for them, and are unhappy while the person you moved for is probably excited and happy about the job, and is meeting new and interesting people just at the point when you are at lowest ebb. But he is the only one who can fix it, and the fix is getting on with his life, and really accepting what he grudgingly agreed to (or deciding it isn’t worth it and leaving,.)

        Now, in all fairness the reverse situation is just as bad, so Hayek needs to not feel guilty about it. If they had stayed in Minn. Hayek would be the one suffering the resentment. She’d have gven up this great exciting opportunity for him.

    • Not Adahn

      It is kind of your fault for pegging him at the beach.

      • Mojeaux

        NA with the correct answer.

    • hayeksplosives

      Clad in ski masks and bandanas, the pigeons swooped in and threw tiny bricks and adorable little Molotov cocktails

    • commodious spittoon

      thee pigeons swooped in and threw tiny bricks and adorable little Molotov cocktails

      Made my day.

    • Rhywun

      ROFL

    • kbolino

      The bike lock is a nice touch.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Aww man, not in Japan too.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Stop it. I’m peeing!

    • commodious spittoon

      iS tHiS ViDEo DeCepTiVelY eDitEd???

    • Jarflax

      Schoolmarm Stalin and Grandpa Gulag team up on the Gnome Nazi, while Minnesota Nice gets mocked by the guy with the stupid name.

    • hayeksplosives

      Look who didn’t skip leg day!!

      Pedal on, gurl!