Thursday night links of Thursday night

by | Feb 6, 2020 | Daily Links | 529 comments

Me after eating paella two meals in a row.

We’re currently sitting on the patio watching the rain fall, and it’s toasty warm.

 

I think he’s justifiably pissed.

 

But, muh impeachment.

 

Hopefully, just a start.

 

Please pass the Xanax.

 

I dunno. Cruising the National Mall on ‘shrooms could be pretty cool.

 

Xi no fool.

 

Please pass the popcorn.

 

Southern fried.

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

529 Comments

  1. YDAK

    “And the water fell on the floor,”
    Piss…………….
    Howdy!

    • Tres Cool

      I said “please mister, I didnt even kiss her..”

      HEY YUFUS!

      • YDAK

        Tall Cans! and some golf, finally not freezing my ass off,

      • YDAK

        ” I said a hey there Mister,
        I didn’t even kiss her,
        don’t want know trouble with you,”
        /Lyrical pedant

      • Festus

        Festus’ soundtrack for about five years. Balls swinging in the breeze…

      • DrOtto

        So you’re Mr. Breeze?

      • Festus

        “Well they call me the breeze, I keep rollin’ out the door!”

  2. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    “grievance filled victory lap”

    Exactly what I’d expect from our unbiased media.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      You expect them to be accurate?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Inn case not clear, agreeing it was a “grievance filled victory lap”.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It certainly was, but of all the neutral phrases an unbiased reporter could use to describe the press conference, “grievance filled victory lap” doesn’t make the list.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Maybe, but in the scheme of unfair, biased TDS they have used since the escalator, if (repeat: if) they keep doing ones like this, it would be valid grounds for complimenting the media for their improvement.

        Re: “press conference”: “And this is really not a news conference”

    • Festus

      The CBC was just as conciliatory as one might expect.

    • MikeS

      WaPo decided they could virtue signal better. Their headline:

      Trump celebrates end of impeachment with angry, raw and vindictive 62-minute White House rant

  3. commodious spittoon

    Trump administration moves ahead on shrinking Utah monuments

    Now you’re just being petty. You could have started with Romney’s head.

    • Spudalicious

      I don’t think you could shrink it much more.

      • Tres Cool

        +1 Zika

      • YDAK

        Ebola, -1

      • Festus

        -1 Zippy

      • Gustave Lytton

        Let this be a lesson to always use cold water when brainwashing. And dry on ultra low.

      • commodious spittoon

        He’s going to live forever and continue being elected, so I figure witch doctoring is among his powers..

      • Tres Cool

        + ooh eee ooh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang

    • YDAK

      I can build some Dioramas for Trump, that will shrink them, and maybe make room for some YUUUGE monuments…

    • Rhywun

      the largest elimination of protected land in American history

      Oh, fuck off.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Don’t the evil capitalists and thugtards have enough already?!!?

        Now it’ll be KKK training camps everywhere!!! Dumping backwash filled cans of Milwaukee’s Best all over the landscape!!! Trucks with lift-kits!!!

        FUCKING LIFT-KITS!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Rhywun

        I’ll bet this is another one of those things that all the Dems promise to reverse on “Day One”, along with the rest of the edicts that Pen & Phone pushed through on his way out the door and Donald reversed.

      • Trigger Hippie

        It’s almost like these things shouldn’t be pretty much exclusively under the power of the executive branch at all.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        Trucks with lift-kits!!!

        FUCKING LIFT-KITS!!!!!!!!!!!!

        LOL

      • Trigger Hippie

        Sorry, they’re just soooooo gauche.

        *reaches for fainting couch*

      • Lord Digby

        Damn; it’s almost like you want them scraping the oil pan…

    • Sean

      Ha!

    • Fourscore

      Plagiarism! Flip Wilson used to say “You don’t know what you can get away if you don’t try” Nixon tried but alas

    • Rhywun

      Should’ve titled it “What Would Have Happened?”

  4. The Last American Hero

    Does the gyroscope come with the Musk headset or do I buy that one separately?

    • Rhywun

      I dunno but it comes with a coupon for 50% off your first Hyperloop trip.

  5. DEG

    “Gimme Three Steps” is a good song.

    • YDAK

      it is,

    • Spudalicious

      Dammit. Now I’m going to have to search that out and binge watch it.

    • slumbrew - double secret satan

      He’s going to shoot his cock off, carrying like that.

      • Lord Digby

        Who–Ron Jeremy?

      • Chafed

        Oh now it’s Ron Jeremy. Last night it was Thomas Jane. You are so fickle.

      • Lord Digby

        Hey, I was trying to honor you by keeping the joke going.

        Did you want me to honor you by referencing you, instead? ? ? ?

      • Rhywun

        At least Thomas Jane is attractive.

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        You know, I tried to watch that series, but it was … boring.

      • Lord Digby

        Arrested Development??

        I….wha….are you OK, Mojeaux?

      • Rhywun

        Arrested Development?! I… can’t even.

        OTOH… I respect people’s tastes but…

        Are you mad??

      • Rhywun

        Ahhh. I watched maybe 1/2 season of Hung. You’re right about it.

      • Chafed

        I’m just having fun with you LD.

  6. Sean

    I know where Xi is at…He’s in Greenland hoping the virus doesn’t make it there.

    • Fourscore

      Negotiating a trade, Taiwan for Greenland, since it does him no good anyway. He’s got a deed for it but not registered.

      • Sean

        He can’t have it. Trump’s gonna get it. ?

      • Festus

        Nah. The property is fee simple.

  7. commodious spittoon

    I don’t know what Macaulay Culkin gets out of doing videos with Red Letter Media, but I’m always pleased to see him on.

    • The Last American Hero

      He gets to be on TV. Sorta.

    • Brochettaward

      He’s in such demand.

    • cyto

      I haven’t seen that…. I love those guys. Next to “the Filthy Critic”, my favorite movie critics.

    • Fourscore

      Ohhh, the kitties are hungry. Give them some cat food. Damn, that is a lot of critters though.

    • commodious spittoon

      A group of raccoons is referred to as too many raccoons.

      • Trigger Hippie

        *guilty welp*

        I once heard my grandfather, who was born in Arkansas in 1910, refer to that as a “Spook of Coons”.

        Not kidding.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’m really not.

      • Tulip

        Yikes. Raccoons are not domesticated.

      • Sean

        Awww…so cute.

        *racks 12 gauge*

      • Gustave Lytton

        Make sure you get all of them, ok? Saddest raccoons Ive ever seen was a dead momma & several juveniles (hit by a car) and one or two living juveniles trying to figure out why the rest weren’t moving.

      • Sean

        I ain’t heartless, but that many critters on my porch (video) would have me mighty nervous and loading up the shotgun.

      • Gustave Lytton

        A couple of months ago, I saw some movement or the dog barked out the living room window. There was a handful of raccoons bedding down in the mulch underneath. Dog went crazy of course, while I double checked that the garage door was shut. They moved on back to the woods and that was the last I saw of them.

      • Fourscore

        My son had them in his Austin attic, they were going up/down in a vent pipe. I told him to wait ’til night, plug the vent, Seemed to work.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        We had raccoons in our attic. Critter dude came out, made sure they were gone, and patched up the hole.

      • Tulip

        When I was a kid, a neighbor had raccoons getting into the chicken coop. So, he went looking with a shot gun and found some juveniles. He said they put their paws over their eyes and he just couldn’t shoot them. He reinforced the coop instead.

    • Tres Cool

      #1 Paint your damn porch
      #2 A bite from a raccoon should be somewhat more troubling

      • commodious spittoon

        That was more of a nip. She can’t catch rabies that way, more like ranibbles.

      • Tres Cool

        +24-hour hydrophobia

    • Timeloose

      That’s someone who feeds outside cats.

      • Fourscore

        Yep, same here if you have cats outside, plus foxes, skunks and an occasional bobcat

    • l0b0t

      She needs a good monkey.

    • Animal

      Yeah, and trash pandas are a major rabies vector.

  8. Jarflax

    In an odd turn of events 100% of all purchasers of neuralink headsets report an uncontrollable urge to buy Teslas

  9. Donation Not Taxation

    “Trump blurts out expletive during 1st formal remarks after impeachment acquittal.”
    https://www.yahoo.com/gma/trump-blurts-expletive-during-1st-172752917.html

    Fake news. President Donald J. Trump used an eight letter word for a US undergraduate degree. As he self-identifies as a Christian, then “in vain” twice counts. And the name of an afterlife from said Christianity nine times not in reference to that alleged place. That would be twelve expletives.

    Transcript: https://www.vox.com/2020/2/6/21126544/trump-speech-today-transcript-impeachment

    • Jarflax

      Who gives a damn?

      • Fourscore

        “Frankly…?”

    • YDAK

      BULLSHIT!
      is what he said, WTF are you about?

    • RAHeinlein

      Deja vu post.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      The less powerful the government, the more moral the people have to be in order to have a good society. The more powerful the government, the more moral the bureaucrats, dictators, monarchs, politicians, and so have to be in order to have a good society. The ‘mainstream’ media is redefining “expletive”. cf. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, 1993, “defining deviancy down”.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        You are missing the point about redefinig “expletive”. President Donald J. Trump using expletives is a different matter. The part about him being Christian enters into it regarding what counts as an expletive.

        But if you insist on getting into whether or not he should have been using expletives, at least he had the release of his burden as a justification (whether you think Christianity allows that as a valid reason). Whereas many on this site let fly with them casually on a daily basis.

      • Ozymandias

        Wait, I have a genuine question: are you saying that swearing/cursing is immoral? If so, on what basis? Genuinely curious because I have certainly “found God” (I’ll leave that undefined for the moment and allow you to color those lines in) but I still swear fairly liberally.

        I am thus immoral? Or just a hypocrite?

        Serious questions – I’m not being snarky, I’m just trying to understand your position.

      • Viking1865

        Not to jump in, but I will anyway.

        I am by no means a theologian, but I always thought it was “Don’t take the lords name in vain” So certainly “Goddamn” is right out, but you can use all manner of other swear words.

        Like, is their actual Biblical basis for not using, say, bastard or son of a bitch or even fucking?

      • Ozymandias

        Whenever people say that I am reminded of a very funny bit on “All in the Family” where Archie says “goddamn” and Edith nearly strokes out, telling Archie he shouldn’t “take the Lord’s name in vain” and Archie goes on a mini-rant about how it’s right out of the Bible, there are multiple places where, according to Archie, “God damns” bad people. It’s pretty funny.

        I’m still not sure that the “translation” of taking the Lord’s name in vain = swearing/expletives
        I think it could be understood very differently, which is to say using God’s name in the way that Romney did in his note to the other Senators. For me that is a lot closer to “taking the Lord’s name in vain” than yelling “Shit!” or “Fuck” after you smash your thumb with a hammer. I’m not seeing how that has anything to do with the Lord’s name at all.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Not counting all expletives as “in vain”. Counting the two “in vain”(s) as expletives because he self-identifies as Christian.

        Or are you saying that those two were not “in vain”?

      • Ozymandias

        I’m saying that it’s not clear at all that the verse means what you’re saying it does.

      • Lord Digby

        I’m simply going to throw out Matthew 5:22, and then step back.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Where was he?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Whether or not it is immoral under whichever way you “found” sounds like a question you should bring up with whoever is doing the sermons at the service you attend.

        The ‘media story in the URL assumes that one of the expletives is the latest excuse for ‘Bad Trump!’. The above point does assume that redefining what counts as ‘expletive’ is bad.

        Besides, religion aside, if you use expletives casually, what are you going to use under extremis?

      • Viking1865

        “what are you going to use under extremis?”

        Bullets.

      • Jarflax

        Whether or not it is immoral under whichever way you “found” sounds like a question you should bring up with whoever is doing the sermons at the service you attend.

        Not all faiths are hierarchical. In many such questions are to be resolved by prayer, reading scripture and consulting your conscience. You seem to take great care avoiding even using epithets when quoting someone, and it apparently is a significant thing for you. I think this comes across to some people (including me up until now when I started to believe you simply do not curse) as being cute and trying to catch people out in ‘sin’. I can respect careful speech. There are a couple of posters here who seem very careful in their speech who I hold in high regard. I am less fond of the attempts to police, or being charitable to encourage people to self police, other’s speech.

        As I have pointed out I am agnostic, but sympathetic to, and probably in search of, faith.( I probably point this out too often but it is a quirk of mine that I find it very wrong to allow people to believe I share their faith. It seems like claiming an honor I do not merit) I will certainly not think less of you if you avow whatever faith you hold, but if you are just trying to catch people who claim faith out in sin, that is a foolish game. No faith expects perfection. What is required of believers varies, but in every case that I am familiar with the requirements are to strive toward a goal, not to have reached that goal.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Yes, not all of them them are. But “found” is very little data and got impression that inquiring for more specific would be unwelcome. Many do have someone doing a sermon at a service. If you have what you consider a better answer to Ozymandias’ post, then why not post said hypothetical answer instead of criticizing the one provided?

      • Jarflax

        If you think my post was criticizing your answer to Ozy for inaccuracy I may have been unclear. Ozy was asking you directly the same question I was asking you indirectly. What are your thoughts? Are you just poking people or are you deeply religious and bothered by what you see as people blaspheming? I was expressing my willingness to recategorize you mentally from troll, which I had taken you as, to sincere person bothered by casual profanity. I am well aware that I am judgmental but I do try to modify judgments that are inaccurate.

      • Ozymandias

        Not to be flippant, but have you ever been truly ‘in extremis?’ I have. A bunch of times. What comes out of one’s mouth in those moments is of little import.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Psychologically, ignoring religion, not being mute can be helpful to move headspace from reacting to being competent at doing what needs to be done.

    • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

      You really have a hard-on for religious people cursing, don’t you?

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        It was good until the “So say we all” part cuz…we don’t say that.

      • Tres Cool

        Well, it was produced in Hollywood, so maybe (((they))) added that ?

      • cyto

        If you skip over the Iraq war season, it works a lot better.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’m just confused as to why anyone would be surprised or outraged that Trump only pays Christianity the thinnest of lip-service. Of course he’s not a Christian. He might feel a vague cultural affinity for the society it created, but I’d be shocked if he spends more than an idle thought a day on the condition of his soul.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        A lot of people are cultural Christians. If you asked “Are you a Christian?” they’d say yes without a second thought and then go about their day without thinking about that, either.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Oh, I know. I just chuckle at the attempts to point out that he doesn’t take it seriously. This is not news. It’s like screaming “The Sky Is Blue!”.

      • Festus

        I always laugh heartily when he plays the God card and I’m an atheist. C’mon Donny, “You Lie!”

      • Rhywun

        The Dems do it too. It’s kind of a job requirement.

      • Social Justice is Neither

        20 years ago and yeah the dems knew their base. Today I don’t think they can differentiate their base from the twitter activist noise.

      • cyto

        Two words sums it all up….

        “Two Corinthians”

        At church, every time we have a verse from that book, I say “Two Corinthians”. And my buddies all laugh… every time.

        This is the difference between left and right. When I was a kid, they said the conservatives had no sense of humor. Well, I’m grown up now…. and there are plenty of funny people who identify as lefties… .but there are no funny lefty humorists. They can’t take a political joke about their own side.

        Two Corinthians is funny. But so are Obama’s mom jeans.

      • Lord Digby

        Two Corinthians is funny

        I gotta admit, cyto–I’m not getting it. Is it a riff on people who have no knowledge of Biblical texts trying to say the name of the book?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        IIRC, then-candidate Donald J. Trump said “Two Corinthians” at Liberty University.

      • cyto

        Trump tried to be a pretend Christian back during the campaign. He pulled out his “favorite bible verse”…..

        From Two Corinthians.

        So…. Funny!

        You say “Two Corinthians”, you’ve outed yourself. While trying to bolster your christian bona-fides, no less. That was funny!

        It would be like pretending to be a gear-head and talking about the turbo on your electric car.

      • Lord Digby

        Ah! OK…so, it sorta was my scenario.

      • cyto

        And the car link is real.

        The Porche Taycan Turbo S is the new Porche all-electric automobile.

        Which they call a Turbo.

        As if it is 1977 and you put the word “turbo” on stuff that goes fast.

      • Gender Traitor

        “Two Corinthians walk into a bar….”?

      • cyto

        See…. funny, right?

        Even funnier if you are churched. Because then you’d know that two Corinthians would walk into a bar and then Paul would scold them to stop all the in-fighting and be better Christians.

        And then Ricardo Montalbon drives up and starts talking about his new seat covers….

      • Gender Traitor

        That’s rich!

      • Lord Digby

        Can we get Swissy over here?

      • Lord Digby

        See…. funny, right? Even funnier if you are churched.

        Whoa, there–I was a youth pastor, back in the day. If I heard that (much less said it to the youth group), I’d be like Moss here.

      • Jarflax

        In regency and early Victorian England a ‘Corinthian’ was a player. Man about town who liked sport and Ladies of negotiable affection.

      • Lord Digby

        So….Saucy Jack?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        If you insist on rehashing that, it was a misunderstanding that did not realize that you belonged to a denomination of Mormon that rejects a doctrinal point (about blasphemy, Mormons, profanity) that had URL for that you were denying was part of your religion. You were not just using an expletive in that case. You were using it to honor the Mormon deity.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        My problem isn’t that you took issue with it.

        My problem is that you kept after me about it across 3 threads and a gazillion comments as if you had some sort of personal investment in burning me at the stake for it.

      • cyto

        Don’t burn anyone at the stake. The smell never comes out.

        Don’t ask.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        I would also appreciate not being burnt at the stake.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Disagree. Dropped one comment about it being “odd” (blaspheming/honoring), got hounded, defended.

      • l0b0t

        There’s a Vonnegut book (Hocus Pocus maybe), wherein a character never curses because “…it gives anyone who doesn’t want to hear what you have to say, a perfectly valid excuse to not listen.”
        I’ve always found that inspirational but personally impossible. Anecdotally, I once had a 1st Sgt. in Army whose absolute favorite word, which he would utter every 3rd or 4th word in any sentence, was “Godamnmotherfukin'”. One big run-on word which came out of his mouth so often as to be some sort of verbal tick.

      • Rhywun

        I somewhat agree with that character. I am very conscious of cursing and try hard to restrict it to situations where I think it’s justified.

        The movement to lessen the power of “taboo” words – which popped up frequently at TOS – always pissed me off because I thought it was so misguided & ignorant of human nature.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Fuckin A

      • Viking1865

        I personally think it’s more Trumpian judo of the media. If he says

        “The whole thing was nonsense” then they cover it as “Trump continued to characterize these very serious accusation as nonsense” and the story dies in a day. But their pearl clutching HE USED A POTTY WORD leads to multiple days of it in the news cycle, the meme of “this is bullshit” sinks in.

        Like when he exaggerates positive economic news: “It’s a great economy, the best we’ve ever recorded ever, believe me, all the experts agree.” and the media can’t help fact checking it and talking for a ten minute segment about how ACKSHULALLY ITS ONLY THE BEST ECONOMY IN 40 YEARS. It’s not the best ever, its just better than Obamas and Bushes and Clintons but not better than Regans, so nyeah nyeah Drumpf Get Your Facts Straight.

      • Rhywun

        To be clear: I’m talking in general, not about Trump’s chess moves.

        It’s just a pet peeve of mine. Carry on….

    • Gender Traitor

      an eight letter word for a US undergraduate degree

      “Bachelor” is now a swear?

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Graduate”?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ooh, let me try again…

        “Baristas”

      • Gender Traitor

        DING DING DING!!! We have a winner!

      • Trigger Hippie

        /pan-sexual gender-studies major haz a sad.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        Or people whose mothers weren’t married to their fathers.

        Except…I just assumed gender, didn’t I? *scratches head in confusion*

      • Jarflax

        Bastard is not sex specific. Girls whose Moms were unwed were also bastards.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        I was rather referring to which was the mother and which was the father. Because men can have babies now. And women can have penises now.

      • Gender Traitor

        But if she’s hot, she gets to use the euphemism.

      • Rhywun

        That song is awesome.

        It sure is.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I don’t know how to respond to this subthread.

        *hits bowl*

      • Donation Not Taxation

        You have not heard the one about the undergraduate degree, more, and then piled higher and deeper?

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, yeah – that one. Yes, but I never would have made the connection. One too many degrees of separation.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Ah, clarity. “It’s a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal.”
        ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

      • Animal

        Chicks get the “bachelorette” degree.

        /shitlord

      • Gender Traitor

        Wish I could’ve gotten one of those parties when I graduated. Or either time I got married. : (

    • Fourscore

      Connie was another girl that didn’t understand my unrequited romantic notions. She could have had her chance.

      • Festus

        #metoo, although she was older than my Mom.

      • Festus

        Nope. All my friend’s Moms were hausfraus.

      • Tres Cool

        +1 Frump

      • Festus

        Pretty much.

      • Festus

        Do you know what it’s like to be the kid with the “hot” Mom?

      • Viking1865

        I do love that video. Stupid fucking kid, the girl right next to you wants to jump your bones, and you’re creeping on her mom.

        Fucking millennials right?

      • Brochettaward

        My love is always requited. Always.

      • Jarflax

        So you are saying you are incapable of love?

      • Fourscore

        Double breasted or single handed?

      • Festus

        Describes my rewrite of Total Recall.

    • MikeS

      Wow, Ted. Your first link was outstanding.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’d have been disappointed if the second link had been anything else.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        I KNEW what the first one was, but had no idea what the second one was. Nice surprise.

    • Chafed

      Ted’S you posted a video I like. I’m… stunned.

  10. Festus

    Imagine getting slandered and libeled for four years? You bet I’d be stomping all over the articles of impeachment right about now. I’m surprised that he didn’t drop trou and face-fart that Madame Toussad right up there on the rostrum. Fuck them. He earned this.

    • Lord Digby

      drop trou and face-fart that Madame Toussad

      Homes gotta way with words.

      • Chafed

        The Second Coming of Lord Byron.

      • Festus

        I don’t dress quite as spiffy.

      • Lord Digby

        So…more like Shelley, then?

  11. commodious spittoon

    Today was interesting. I got to start modeling a nearly hundred year old building based in part on plans from the 1920s. It’s an old power station. The drawings are fantastic. There are electrical switchboard diagrams in the original construction documents, as well as meticulous elevations of the molded plaster fascias and a huge wood-built cooling tower.

    It’s going to be a new brewery/restaurant in what appears to be a really shitty part of LA. All the neighboring lots are fenced off.

    • Sean

      Yet another place I’ll never go.

    • Tulip

      I had a good day too. We showed a simulation to some people and they are excited about how useful it could be. Like, “oh wow, you could test this, and you could try that. What if you base lined it this way?” It’s fun when others get excited about something you’ve designed.

    • Timeloose

      One of my well liked restaurants in my area was previously a power company’s assembly factory. They kept the brick and some of the leftover power metering and conditioning equipment mounted to the wall.

      Formerly the home of Reddy Kilowatt. I wish they kept the neon sign.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My electric coop still has Willy Wiredhand on the sign out front.

  12. Sean

    Iowa finally came!

    • Sean

      All reports in. Supposedly.

      • AlmightyJB

        Didn’t the head of the DNC order a redo?

      • Sean

        I think suggested, not ordered.

      • AlmightyJB

        Ahh

    • Q Continuum

      Took a lot of work on that clit.

      • AlmightyJB

        Don’t think of it as work

      • Festus

        It’s more a labor of love.

  13. AlmightyJB

    Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a pimp!

      • KSuellington

        “I ain’t no racist, but if the bitch is green, something’s wrong with the pussy.”

      • AlmightyJB

        They’re are pink in the middle.

      • cyto

        And Zoe Saldana is an 11. That’s why they keep picking her to play alien creatures in makeup. You gotta be an 11 to still pull off romantic lead in monster makeup. That’s why they put such talent opposite Kirk.

      • Lord Digby

        Zoe? Yeah, pass on that.

        Now, The actual Orion, from the ’09 uh…movie? Dang straight.

      • cyto

        I know, right?

        You don’t put a 7 in green makeup.

    • commodious spittoon

      I really liked the one with all the bitties, that was nice.

      • Festus

        It’s nice when they’re smiling. Makes a Man feel a little less guilty…

    • Gustave Lytton

      The new Picard series really is sucking, isn’t it?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Which do you prefer: Picard or the adventures of she-Doctor?

      • cyto

        OOof…

        I’m watching the new series on BBC america… but dang… Somebody needs to go find them some writers. And somebody needs to explain to them that if every 3rd character who walks through the door is LGBTQAI+, it is gonna seem a bit over the top.

      • Rhywun

        I thought it was over-the-top when Davies did it. Fifteen years ago.

        Yeah, I can’t watch anymore – and not because of that specifically – that’s just a symptom. And it pisses me off. I’ve been a fan since the seventies.

      • cyto

        I’m totally going on momentum. I can’t say they’ve had an enjoyable episode in the last couple of years.

        If you can have Jenna Coleman and still be boring…

      • Gender Traitor

        Mr. GT loves “classic” Who, but more often than not it would put me to sleep. I liked the revived series, but I thought it mostly peaked with Tennant. Stuck with it through Smith & Capaldi, but a couple of episodes into Chick Doctor, we checked out because it had become “Doctor Woke.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Also – Donna Noble was the best companion ever. Fight me.

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        Eccleston best new-incarnation doctor.

        Donna Noble hands DOWN the best companion.

        What they did to her just broke my heart.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Donna Noble was the best companion ever. Fight me.

        Sarah Jane Smith or GTFO.

      • Gender Traitor

        What they did to her just broke my heart.

        Saddest thing from any episode I’ve ever seen.

        Sarah Jane Smith or GTFO.

        Close second. Certainly not Rose, that bucktoothed tart.

      • Rhywun

        Agree on Donna for nu-companion.

        And Sarah Jane for original companion.

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        Nah, I didn’t care for Rose all that much, although she was better with Eccleston than anybody else.

        I liked Martha, but I HATED that they made her fall in love with him. It’s like, really? You HAVE to fall in love with the Doctor?

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        Capaldi was a close second to Eccleston for me. Tennant was okay, but of course he and Catherine Tate are long-time tag-team comedians. I really really really did not like Smith.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        To top it off, the pro critics’ episode-specific numbers at Rotten Tomatoes (except for “Orphan 55”) are high even though the user numbers at Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb are so low that at RT many of them are below of them are below splotch to overturned garbage can and at IMDB, 5 of the 6 worst of the entire 9th-13th are 13thers (the other of the 6 is “Sleep No More”).

      • cyto

        That critic/audience divide is maddening.

        It is so obvious when they are virtue signalling – in both directions.

        Plus, they are the pros. So Rotten tomatoes really shouldn’t work. If a movie is at all above the “sux/doesn’t sux” line, it should be a positive review. So most competently made movies should clock in at around 100% on the tomato meter for critics. Yet even fantastic movies that are all-time classics clock in around 90%. (when they are first reviewed. There’s a lot of retroactive reviewing in the movie review business).

        But there is never a 95% comedy. Just doesn’t happen. Even if you don’t like comedies, you should be able to tell if it is competently made. And you should be able to judge it for what it is. Not every movie aspires to be Citizen Kane. 40 year old virgin was a perfectly fine movie…. nobody should be giving that thing a bad review, even if “do you know how I know you are gay” ad-libs are not your cup of tea.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        That’s a reoccurring Carolla complaint – judge comedies for what they are, not what they aren’t.

        Something can be a near-perfect comedy and it still just gets 80%, at best, because it’s not X, Y or Z. Critics are snobs.

    • Festus

      Chubby girl is cayute.

    • Lord Digby

      Ruby may? Can we see if I can get a firm yes with her?

    • Festus

      I don’t wear my bacon and eggers over my head just to promote my masculinity and I certainly never rubbed my excrement across my face to stick a finger in the patriarchies collective bum. That girl needs cats, Stat!

      • Animal

        That girl needs cats psychotherapy, Stat!

        Fixed.

  14. LCDR_Fish

    Fairly certain my local indie station has played Sturgill Simpson this past year (maybe only on the Sunday Morning country show…not sure) – either way this was a pleasant and original surprise https://youtu.be/8qX02AW48bM – and the entire concept short film at netflix is pretty good too. Sold me on the album.

    • Timeloose

      I’m going to see him in Madison Square Garden later this year. Should be fun

  15. Gustave Lytton

    https://youtu.be/1vZS1HxzNGw

    Missed the videos of the British MEP crying because their Eurovacation was cut short. Boo fucking hoo. The Quislings crying not because of joy should be set on spikes on the Dover cliffs as a warning to Eurocrats. Too bad that the flag toting MEPs didn’t Eurobitch to go fuck herself.

  16. Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

    I think he’s justifiably pissed.

    The contempt in that intro is dripping like ectoplasm.

  17. Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

    I hate to say it but I’m starting to like Cheetoh Jesus a little bit.

    • Festus

      I’ve always liked it when someone pokes a bully in the eye. I came over here straight from Slate and Salon. At Slate I was accused of being a Russian Bot. The trans-person moderator defended me and got whaled on in the comment section. Salon just banned me outright. ChemJeff used to be over there but he was always pretty acerbic. Fuck them. I’ve found my home.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        “ChemJeff” sounds vaguely familiar.

        Dude, why you gotta go swimmin’ in toxic dumps?

      • Festus

        Had hopes of being an author. Open Salon used to be pretty great when we had a cool, black guy in charge. When Trump descended his golden escalator all bets were off. People that I’d been chatting with for years put up a “shun” wall. Okay. Fuck you very much! I’ll take my balls and find somewhere else to play with them.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        ChemJeff was some dude that people didn’t like on HnR because he wasn’t yokel enough or something.

      • Viking1865

        Wasn’t he also a mendacious twit? Or am I thinking of someone else?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        *shrugs*

        I dunno. I never got why some people loathed nicole either.

      • RAHeinlein

        I’m not clear on the Nicole loathing, but my take is unapologetically pro-abortion.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        So? I’m unapologetically anti-abortion and I got along swimmingly with nicole both on and off line.

      • Gustave Lytton

        People who don’t shovel their sidewalks? People who were kids at one time?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I thought the sidewalk shoveling thing was Tulpa.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That was nikki.

        Of course, they could all be Tulpa.

      • Jarflax

        If nicole is nikki, I wouldn’t say I loathed her, although I consider anti-natalism a belief on the moral level of Stalinism.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I consider anti-natalism a belief on the moral level of Stalinism.

        If you’re talking about forced anti-natalism, then I agree. If you’re talking about a personal stance, I find it more moral than “be fruitful and multiply” exponentially.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        I actually don’t have a problem with anti-natalism as a philosophy and I don’t know how holding a philosophy is evil.

        In practice, it simply cannot be. SOMEbody SOMEwhere is going to be having a baby. See: Blue Lagoon.

      • Jarflax

        Choosing not to have children is fine. Announcing the belief that people who have children are thereby doing evil, which nikki did in fact do and which is what I consider to be anti-natalism is a belief up there with Stalinism.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        In practice, it simply cannot be. SOMEbody SOMEwhere is going to be having a baby. See: Blue Lagoon.

        That’s antinatalism as a policy, not a philosophy. I spay and neuter my pets because I believe it is irresponsible to allow them to breed when dogs and cats are overpopulated to begin with. That doesn’t mean I seek to outlaw dog and cat breeders. Antinatalists like the Essenes or the Shakers believed that procreation was a moral wrong for various reasons, but they recognized that in order for their orders to continue, other people had to breed and produce children who might become interested in a celibate monastic communal life.

      • straffinrun

        So, basically Chicken without the egg.

      • Jarflax

        I actually don’t have a problem with anti-natalism as a philosophy and I don’t know how holding a philosophy is evil.

        I am not sure how to unpack this because in the only way I can read it that makes sense you are putting words in my mouth.

        Holding a philosophy is not itself evil. But some philosophies re in fact evil. I deliberately used Stalinism, to avoid any misunderstanding. One may be a marxist without embracing evil because while marxism inevitably leads to gulags most marxists do not believe this and therefore can hold their philosophy without embracing evil. Stalinism includes the gulags as a necessary and proper step toward their goal, and therefore to be a Stalinist is to embrace evil. Anti-natalism holds that the extinction of humanity is a positive event, a moral good based on their utilitarian calculus. I hold that to be an evil goal, even if it is merely aspirational.

      • grrizzly

        I didn’t mind Nicole. I can recall two moments when I found myself at odds with her. First, she really hated that I insisted on calling that girl with a mattress from Columbia a slut. My characterization of the girl was confirmed when I watched a video on Pornhub where she banged some guy. Second, Nicole refused to believe that refugees in Cologne were sexually harassing women at New Year’s Eve of 2016. The German media tried to cover it up for a day or two but eventually had to report it. Days later Nicole was still in the denial mode. She more or less disappeared shortly after that.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        I promise I am not trying to put words in your mouth. It appeared to me your statement was kind of an aside and I didn’t give it much thought beyond googling “anti-natalism” to make sure I got a more complete overview.

        Antinatalists like the Essenes or the Shakers believed that procreation was a moral wrong for various reasons, but they recognized that in order for their orders to continue, other people had to breed and produce children who might become interested in a celibate monastic communal life.

        I don’t even know how to process that.

        Moral consistency would be for the Essenes and Shakers to allow their orders to die out.

        Also, I am assured that Nikki is no longer the worst.

      • Festus

        “Blue Lagoon”? “Paradise” is the superior movie.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        I’ve actually never seen Blue Lagoon all the way through. I saw the part where they figured out how to make a baby and then figured out how to get the baby out without killing them both, which, even as a teenager, tested my ability to suspend disbelief.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Moral consistency would be for the Essenes and Shakers to allow their orders to die out.

        Shakers on on the job – Brother Arnold Hadd and Sister June Carpenter are all that are left.

        There was a great Shaker exhibit I went to in Maine a couple of years ago, and we listened to a long interview with Brother Arnold on the way – really interesting stuff (which I can’t find right this moment).

      • cyto

        ChemJeff waffles between serious comments and trolling. Mostly trolling.

        And it has John’s love of pointless argument.

        I sometimes think there is more than one person controlling the account. Or maybe there’s medication involved.

      • Brochettaward

        He wasn’t even a cosmo. Was basically a straight up prog.

      • Social Justice is Neither

        No that describes him. You could be thinking of someone else though.

      • DOOMco

        Why slate, if you don’t mind?

      • Festus

        Just stumbled in. Had something to do with Christopher Hitchens… It kinda steam-rolled from there. There were a lot of good people and much snark before the Donald era. Like I said, Salon used to be be pretty cool. What the fuck do I know? It wasn’t really about politics back then.

      • Rhywun

        Jeez, I gave up on Salon like 15 years ago. Oh well, whatever path one takes…. 🙂

      • Festus

        It was “Open Salon” and they used to have some good cultural criticism. Stop judging me! Gawd!

      • cyto

        A lot of things changed over the last 12 years. Obama ushered in the age of propaganda. And then Trump made all that propaganda turn nasty.

      • Festus

        I member Obama appearing on Bill Maher about 2003 or 4 and thinking “oh shit, here we go…’

  18. straffinrun

    Just got to watch part of Trump’s presser. Hinting that Nancy is a devil worshiper was my favorite.

  19. DOOMco

    I have a glass of green spot now.
    Littledoom is fast asleep and I get to watch an episode of Fargo with the lady.

    • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

      That is one adorable baby, Doom. Ya dun good.

    • Spudalicious

      Sweet. Cute looking kid.

    • Festus

      Yep! I lurve the baby!

    • one true athena

      aw Littledoom is a keeper!

    • Heroic Mulatto

      “Coronavirus” is a strange name for a Chinese political commissar, but whatever.

      • Q Continuum

        Hey man, those organs aren’t gonna harvest themselves.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        “‘Coronavirus’ is a strange name for” the disease as coronaviruses is itself a category.

        Anyone want to ‘fight me’ about ‘viruses’ as plural of ‘virus’?

    • straffinrun

      “Epstein didn’t kill himself” just got more diverse.

  20. Tres Cool

    WRT nothing- DJT be all like Ante Up, Foo

  21. straffinrun

    You are a bully and a coward. Bullies like you go around kicking dog turds, some of that dog shit is UXO. I am a UXO motherfker . I am what you might call one of those people you shouldn’t fuck with.

    • Jarflax

      Man what a place to Brooks a reply. Now we all have to wonder… 🙂

      • Brochettaward

        It’s obvious who he’s talking about unless you’re some kind of idiot, you idiot.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I used to think you were better than that Brochettaward.

      • Brochettaward

        Ok DAD.

      • Viking1865

        Mind your own business Dad.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Was going for the John-o reference. Obviously flopped.

      • Ozymandias

        I think I know who that was for, but I have to admit I’m pretty confused.

      • Brochettaward

        What do I have to spell it out for you? Do I need to enact all of your labor?

      • Ozymandias

        I have no fucking idea what you are talking about. This started with Straff Brooks’ing (PBUH) a comment that was clearly meant for someone… I’m not sure who exactly… and then… I don’t know.
        I read the Malice thing. Some guy evidently said he wasn’t tough and then pulled the UXO line, which is… kinda funny considering he was analogizing himself to dog shit and UXO at the same time… which is weird.

        Maybe I should just go read before I go to bed. And I don’t follow anyone on twitter because I find that entire medium idiotic. I almost never go on there except for links from people here. So, yeah, I guess “Okay Boomer” on me (though my parents are Boomers).

      • straffinrun

        It was funny copy threat pasta. Not aimed at anyone here. I don’t flamethrow others here. I’d just leave ala TOS.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s obvious you aren’t a high IQ individual, a stable genius, like myself.

      • straffinrun

        Now I’m interested in who you think that was meant for.

      • Brochettaward

        Now that you ruined it I was just fucking around. I legitimately thought that was obvious.

      • Jarflax

        I thought it was obvious.

      • straffinrun

        Was tempted to let the trolling go on, but at the bottom of it all I’m a hooker with a heart of gold.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan
    • Timeloose

      UXO? That’s a new one.

      • Tres Cool

        Unified Xandrian Occidental

        Duh.

      • Timeloose

        Ohhh! That UXO!!

      • straffinrun

        I was laughing my ass off for about five minutes after reading that thread. Like, out loud . “I am unexploded ordnance” has to be one the best lines ever.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Danger: UXO. Someone get Anthony Andrews on the phone.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Wait, they have have two songs?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Is UXO a sequel to UXB?

    • Festus

      I love it when the gaijan has to walk home.

      • straffinrun

        CrossFit people have nothing on me. I end my workouts by sleeping in the genkan.

      • Festus

        They’re probably so courteous that they drift you to your front door.

  22. Shpip

    It probably won’t come to a surprise to the Gilbertariat that “Gimme Three Steps” was based on a true story. The bar in question is in the Westside neighborhood of Jacksonville, and was known as The Pastime for years.

    New ownership renamed it The Jug, no doubt to cash in on a small part of music history.

  23. YDAK

    Tertiary Syphilis,
    Mark Steyn….

    • Trigger Hippie

      Is this one of those old Johnny Carson skits?

      • Rhywun

        Hey-ooh! LOL

  24. Trigger Hippie

    A Brain Fart:

    The progressive socialists within the Democratic Party have spent the last four years wrongly assuming that they were upstream from culture.

    Kinda obvious, yeah. But it’s the best I’ve got right now.

    • straffinrun

      They’re downstream and the water is suspiciously warmer.

    • Rhywun

      upstream from culture

      I don’t even know what that means.

      • Jarflax

        I was trying to figure it out myself, but Straf seems to say that the culture is pissing in the progs water. I’d put it the other way around, but …

      • straffinrun

        It’s TH’s brain fart. Let him explain.

      • grrizzly

        Andrew Breitbart said that “politics was downstream from culture.”

      • Trigger Hippie

        Basically I’m saying that an extremely active and vocal subset of society took their pet issues and used grievance mongering and guilt to leverage power in the DNC and then overplayed their hand with the general voting public through persistent mockery and bullying of anybody who didn’t agree with the cause du jour.

        They got too eager. The progressive left has done a brilliant job of slowly chipping away at any semblance of a constitutional republic for well over a hundred years now. But the new crop just didn’t have the patience to see it through. They blew they’re loads in fit childish rage.

        I agree with what seem to be the thought of most here that we’ll slide into pure Socialism sooner or later or have CWII, but the far left set themselves back at least a decade in achieving that goal. Even after Trump is gone many will remember their behavior and it will, I believe, cause them to struggle to control more than two branches at best for the next few election cycles.

        My two cents.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Er, spelling errors, not branches, House, Senate, Presidency, the SC probably isn’t shifting anywhere but right anytime soon, piss off. ;p

  25. DenverJ

    The “hey there fella with the hair colored yella” has been my theme song since what, the 80’s?
    I even got sucker punched in a bar once because I was (you know) a cop’s wife, unbeknownst to me. She was a pretty good lay, and he had every right to be pissed that his wife was out servicing other dudes, but again, I didn’t know she was married, and certainly wouldn’t have done the nasty with her if I had known she was betrothed to one of the king’s men

      • Rhywun

        Was wondering the same.

      • cyto

        If only there was someone around here who did editing work that he could hire to edit his comments for him…..

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        The ‘(you know)’ should have been a ‘[redacted]’

    • straffinrun

      Pussies were fucked.

    • Rhywun

      1 Large Jar Maraschino Cherries
      3 oz Box of Cherry Jello
      1 Tub Cool Whip

      Oh my God.

      • Rhywun

        I found that almost 20 years ago… just amazingly great.

      • Shirley Knott

        Yes!!
        An all time favorite. I actually discovered it, and the author, while I was working in Minneapolis at the end of the millennium. Bought the book, periodically visit the website.

      • mikey

        Someone has to make this for the next Honey Harvest.
        The perfect desert for hot dish.

      • Tulip

        Every holiday, my mom and sister insist on cranberry fluff salad. Ground fresh cranberries (we do them in an old meat grinder) halved grapes, apples, cool whip, marshmallows, walnuts, and something else (can’t remember right now). Maybe a jello. I hate it, but it MUST be served.

      • Lord Digby

        Mmmmm….’something else’. ::gurgle::

    • cyto

      “I am not sophisticated”

      Well… that cake will be on-brand then.

    • Tulip

      I enjoy poke cakes and crazy cakes. I also like some jello salads. My favorite is a box of orange jello, two cans of mandarin oranges, a carton of cottage cheese and a package of cool whip. Mix all together and serve. It sounds disgusting, yet I’ve never brought it to a potluck and not had it disappear.

      • mikey

        A family favorite growing up. The Jello cookbook was an essential/

      • Viking1865

        I found in a thrift shop, and gave to my mother, a vintage 50s Good Housekeeping cookbook with all manner of aspics and Jello creations.

      • Tulip

        Thrift shop cook books from the 60s and 70s are hilarious.

      • Rhywun

        In 4th or 5th or 6th Grade we had to bring in a dish and its recipe for… some event.

        Mine was a Jello Salad. There was Cool Whip. And I think a bundt cake mold.

      • Brochettaward

        You know what else is simple, sweet, and melts in your mouth?

      • Brochettaward

        *breathes heavily*

        No

      • Tulip

        Yes, people like them. Also, fruit pizza.

        There’s a memoir called “Mennonite in a Little Black Dress”. She’s a college professor and is very nervous about bringing dishes from her childhood to department potlucks. But, the grad students love them. Because, they may not be sophisticated, but people love them., they’re tasty and hearty.

      • Jarflax

        Nothing wrong with comfort food. I think a truly sophisticated gourmet isn’t snobby about food, they simply have a wider palette of flavors they find palatable. My parents were close friends with Ethan Becker (son of the original author of the Joy of Cooking and heir to it as an enterprise), and he would take trips to Italy and France in search of new tastes, but also enjoy the hell out of a burger at a barbecue.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Hear, hear. I dislike “gourmet” or even “foodie”, since it has connotations of snobbery.

        Chowhound” has always made me happy. I’ve had some fancy, kick-ass food this week (the wife’s birthday “month”), but I also really, really love a good hotdog.

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        Sam’s Club has a good hot dog. QuikTrip has a good hot dog. Ballparks have good hot dogs.

        I cannot find these hot dogs in stores.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        That’s often “a thing” – the dogs available to the big venues are not available retail.

        The good ones eventually get smart and offer them for retail (e.g., Pearl around here).

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        I’d much rather have a hot dog than a hamburger.

        Except Sonic. I love Sonic’s double cheeseburgers.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Oh, hell yes.

        Hotdog > hamburger.

      • Lord Digby

        For a minute, I thought you were referring to Sex In A Pan, with that cake link.

        Good to know there are ‘variations’ and the like, out there.

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        You know what? You’re totally right. That’s the one and I couldn’t remember what it was called. I KNEW that better than sex cake recipe didn’t look right. My mom mislabeled her recipe.

        I never make it because, firstly, I’m not a huge fan of chocolate and secondly, I almost never make potluck cakes. I love the Shirley Temple and there is also a lemon poke cake.

      • Lord Digby

        I have not one clue as to what a “poke cake” is. Never heard of it, and, tbh, not even sure how it’s pronounced.

        Po-kay? Poke, as in, ‘poke in the eye with a stick”? Po-kuh, sorta like Pokemon?

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        A poke cake is a box cake you make in a 13×9 pan. When it is baked, you let it cool, and you use the handle of a wooden spoon to poke holes in it in a grid. Then you pour jello or pudding or whatever flavor your cake is supposed to be in the holes and the cake soaks it all up.

        The one I’m going to make is a poke cake. White cake mix, cherry jello. One I really like is lemon. Lemon cake mix, lemon pudding, but I love lemon just about anything. The first “better than sex” cake I posted (not the one you posted) is a poke cake.

      • Lord Digby

        poke holes in it in a grid. Then you pour

        Oh, holy heck! I remember when Jello/some food company had a campaign about those cakes back in the 80’s! I remember convincing my mom to make at lest one at some point. However, I have no recollection of ever hearing that term.

        It WAS early 80’s! And, it was Jello! And, they came up with a new term for them.

        Seriously–how could 10-year-old me possibly NOT want a cake that looked like that?? Oh, to be a kid, and not know about advertising tricks of the trade…

  26. Ozymandias

    G’night. I’ll check back tomorrow to see if this thread makes more sense then.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Quick. Everyone totally eff things up for Ozy’s return.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Done aaaand done.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I thought my work was already done.

      • Festus

        Not quite yet.

  27. YDAK

    Ball Golf etiquette works pretty well, Disc golf attempts to you use the same Honor system, then the came the Hippies,
    the older folks play nicely, the Youngun’s are just assholes, that end up with discs in the River.
    OTOH, I put a Mid range in a tree on the edge of the dog park, trying to find it a Dog guy came over with a chair and stick and as I balanced on the chain link we all looked like idiots with Yellow pollen raining on us, Good times with old guys!

    • straffinrun

      How many discs do you carry for one round?

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        right now 12, I just bought another, for 13 total, the thing is, some of them I won’t throw on gravel, so I only throw about 5-6 different ones per round

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        After my visit with Wendy Tomorrow, I’m playing Sunset park, in Vegas, 9 holes takes about an hour, if your chilling, i think a picture or 2 would be handy for my next article…
        Go Try It, I know they plat there,

      • straffinrun

        I’ve played a kind of ad hoc disc golf years ago. Got into that and hacky sack for a couple summers.

      • Festus

        Heh. I have 14 clubs in my golf bag but lucky if I use six of them. Same dealio.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I played Ball Golf for 20 years, Same thing applies, except you could play Disc with 1 and do well, if you’re good,
        the 12 are all a bit different, flight wise, and do some pretty cool shit if you throw them right

      • cyto

        “Some of them won’t throw on gravel”

        You know how some topics have their own lingo and it is impenetrable to outsiders? Yeah…. frisbees that you can’t throw on gravel is one of those things.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Imagine a Golf hole that is completely dirt and Gravel, wherever you land , it’s dirt.
        Now imagine my Disc spinning into that dirt getting ground up on landing, yuck

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Wait for the article, all will be revealed….

  28. Festus

    I’m going to have to turn in my glib Wings, aren’t I? *accepts the yellow feather of shame. shambles away into the night*

    • Gender Traitor

      Whatever for??

      • Festus

        I admitted that I’d been a denizen of Slate and Salon before I saw the light. It used to be fun being a centrist on those sites before they went whack-a-doodle. The F to M tranny that they put in charge of editing the comments is actually a really cool person. She/he backed me up when Donald was enthroned and I laughed and laughed. They were calling me a Bot but he said no, this feller has been here for years and you can all go pound sand. I didn’t last much longer over there than that.

      • Gender Traitor

        You don’t have to be ashamed of that. After all, a lot of us here used to read TOS.

      • Festus

        Touche. To be sure.

    • Brochettaward

      *throws rock at Festus as he walks away and loudly boos*

      • Festus

        Missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me!

    • Shpip

      I’m not sure if Glib Wings are like red wings, blood eagle wings, bingo wings, or something dreamed up by SF after a mescaline and mezcal bender.

      • Tulip

        Ahhhhh, Crap! Now I need brain bleach!

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Blood Eagle!!!!!!!!!

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      is it that good? I haven’t clicked yet..

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Last third is holy-smokes great.

        GLIBS: WATCH THIS VIDEO.

        In brief: man demonstrates that the emperor has no clothes, The State tries to squash him, the man perseveres. But, this being China, goddamn is he paying a price for demonstrating the truth.

      • straffinrun

        That looks like Paul Bunyan’s condom.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Rolled up I suppose, it’s upside down,

    • cyto

      They both look too pristine.

      Frisbees are intended to be skipped on the parking lot.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I agree, these aren’t frisbees, if I hit you with one, I could crack your skull, for real, they are heavy, and aerodynamic,
        that’s why I have 12 Different discs

    • cyto

      less goof-ball reply:

      Do the rules allow flying rings?

      Because some of those things can be thrown far enough to make every hole a par 2

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I don’t know, I doubt it, something about rigid discs… I’ll look it up,
        and still beat your flexy things……

      • cyto

        At UNC they had a huge athletic field – 6 football fields plus room for sidelines. Used for intramurals as well as scholarship sports. We used to play ultimate with them on that big field. A perfect throw and you could cover more than a football field. And when in good condition they fly disturbingly straight. Seems like they would be unfair. I fairly well suck at frisby, and I was able to throw those things the length of a football field and be relatively on target.

        Although… now that I think of it… they might be fairly useless for golf. There’s not really any “and it is going to land 47 yards from here” component to it. You fly it straight and level towards a buddy who catches it at basically the same height you threw it at and the same height it has been flying at the whole time. I dunno how you’d gauge “and it is going to stop this far away”.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Ultimate is still around, on fields like a Soccer game, neat Idea, but too athletic for me..
        Good Fun Though!

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Distance is dependent on power, and the disc speed, I’m writing….

  29. straffinrun

    Don’t have much time, but still sketching a bit. Today’s attempt. I’ll try to submit the calligraphy challenge this week.

    https://imgur.com/a/PtEzT5k

    • Tulip

      Nice! Is that from life? It looks like Mexico or the American southwest.

      • straffinrun

        That’s from a tutorial. I needed to get some of the basics before I tried this:

        https://imgur.com/a/4LeSHva

        It’s the view from my favorite coffee shop.

    • cyto

      Needs moar boobies.

  30. Jarflax

    So a friend of mine, internet never met up IRL, but someone I was fairly close to a few years back, just announced that she is transgendered. She always said she was bisexual, and had crushes on girls, but was also a touch prone to jump into love with men who made no bones about the fact that they were looking for sex and nothing more. She was never the slightest bit masculine and in fact had a sort shy retiring personality ( that is a weakness of mine lol). I’ll admit to a great degree of confusion. Although it does explain some things about her husband, whom she says knew about this when they married last year.

    • Brochettaward

      So, basically, you’re telling us you were attracted to a man?

    • straffinrun

      How do you know she wasn’t the slightest bit masculine if you never met IRL? Which glib that you’ve never met is the most masculine?

      • cyto

        I am. Obvs.

      • Brochettaward

        I eat betas like you for breakfast, pal.

      • cyto

        It was “Obvs.” that gave me away, wasn’t it?

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I eat you posers for Breakfast!

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Yeah Honey!
        another part…

      • straffinrun

        Use of obvs and/or adorbs disqualifies you.

      • cyto

        which was the joke, of course. But don’t tell these rubes. shhh…

      • straffinrun

        I find it cute that you did that.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s obvious who is most masculine unless you’re some kind of idiot, you idiot.

      • straffinrun

        *Pins Bro down, takes a swing of milk, slobbers spit string inch away from face and slurps it back up*

      • Jarflax

        We spoke on Ventrilo for hours at a time pretty much every night for a couple of years. I never met her because she lives more than a thousand miles away, but this wasn’t a chatboard friend.

      • straffinrun

        You actually spoke? Fair nuff. Did she have the opposite of a lisp?

      • Chafed

        DenverJ

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m definitely the most mescaline.

    • Rhywun

      I doubt I can understand that.

      I’m a guy – who likes guys. I often get lumped into the same bucket as your friend, but… I can’t understand what that person is going through at all.

      • cyto

        I used to do a whole riff on Rene Richards – the Dr. and tennis player who was MtF back in the 70’s and dated Billy Jean King and Martina Navratilova. (the joke being, if you are a lesbian trapped in the body of a heterosexual man…. how can you tell?)

        But that was back when we used to make fun of our idiosyncrasies. At the time I was living with a suite of 6 of the horniest gay dudes you’ve ever met – 3 of whom were taking hormone supplements to grow boobs and enjoyed trying to embarrass me and my (also very horny but extremely heterosexual) roommate by showing off their “tuck”. I’m a dude. Not gonna embarrass me with sex.

        They loved that bit. I dare say they’d burn my house down today for doing that bit.

        We really should be able to laugh at ourselves. Laughter is a good social lubricant, and it also allows people to broach subjects that they’d be to afraid or embarrassed to approach in a serious manner. But that ship sailed a long time ago.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        I ‘member….

      • Rhywun

        I was briefly friends with a guy who went MtF later on, or at least transvestite. No idea if he carried it further. This was the early 90s when I was still coming to grips with myself.

        Had another friend at the same time who was an early example of today’s worst nightmare proggie. First time I ever heard the term “PC”. “I’m here, I’m queer” – the works. I couldn’t stand that asshole.

        Agree on the laughter bit – we’re old.

      • grrizzly

        Gay dudes growing boobs is the topic that I have no familiarity with. At all.

      • Jarflax

        I really don’t want to dismiss it or trivialize it as she remains someone I think fondly of, and obviously I am not inside her mind, but it seems deeply discordant with my observances.

    • cyto

      “transgendered”

      Yeah… that’s their trigger word. Don’t use that one.

    • Festus

      Yowsa! I had a next door neighbor growing up that transitioned. She always had the hottest friends and we could never feature why. Her Mom turned out to be a big old dyke about 15 years later. Thanks Jodi/Daniel for giving me lots of gropage that I had no business handling. Thanks again for the first under-bra titty squeeze that I ever experienced! “More Than a Feeling”…

      • straffinrun

        I had a girlfriend in junior hi whose mom suddenly left the family and went full lesbian. Early 80’s. Courage, but also a bit fucked up.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        It’s the “leaving the family” part that makes it less than a slam dunk.

      • straffinrun

        Two young daughters and a husband that was by all measures a good guy. People didn’t judge her IIRC. It was more, “That’s weird.”

      • Mojeaux the Blasphemer

        “That’s weird” = “Gee, she must have cracked or something.”

      • Festus

        Nah. More like coulda seen that coming…

      • straffinrun

        Gay guys faking to be straight are sometimes easy to spot. Lesbians faking to be straight can be a tad trickier.

      • Festus

        My buddy actually hit that chapped-lip person. He doesn’t appreciate my jokes, anymore. Poor Darren, so confused.

    • Chafed

      I’m confused. How does her being transgendered answer things about her husband?

      • Jarflax

        He came across as very effeminate.

      • cyto

        And always sat side-saddle….

      • Festus

        So not a “man-spreader”.

      • Chafed

        Is she FTM and therefore gay? I ‘m not trying to be a jerk here. I’m genuinely confused.

        I have a former colleague who went MTF and is lesbian. I scratch my head, wish her well, and we all go on with our lives.

      • Festus

        You see, Chafed, when a man and a woman and another man/woman love each other very much…

  31. Gender Traitor

    Gotta skedaddle – up past my bedtime again. Happily, only working half a day tomorrow – then off to our nearby state park lodge for the weekend! ::watches libertarian cred swirl down the drain::

    • Festus

      How so? At least you didn’t kiss and grope a girl/boy with chapped lips and then tell all on Salon.

    • Chafed

      At least flip off the ranger on the way in.

      • Festus

        Give him the full moon if yer feeling a little salty!

    • Lord Digby

      Hell, naw! You paid into that rigmarole–enjoy it. I mean, “enjoy it”, in the sense that you’ll probably have to pay even more to get in, but…you know.

      • Chafed

        Didn’t Trump require every state park to post the “ass, grass, or cash” sign?

      • Lord Digby

        I would almost hope for this, but, Idiocracy, ya know?

    • Lord Digby

      See?! That’s what I needed up-thread.

      • Festus

        So are you the goose or the pig? No judgement, we’re all friends here.

      • Lord Digby

        Why are you insistent on me identifying with either??

        Maybe I identify as the cameraman. D’ya ever think of that??

      • Chafed

        Digby breaking the fourth wall! ?

      • Lord Digby

        Dude, I’m Trumpin’ up in herre; I’m breakin’, like, the 14th wall!

      • Chafed

        Breaking the law! Breaking the law! ??

      • Chafed

        ?⚡?

      • Chafed

        I’m a dollar short and a day late.

    • straffinrun

      This is a metaphor for me, isn’t it? C’mon, I still luv Murica!

      • Festus

        Depends whether or not that you spit on the sidewalk. Imma think Straff is a Hate-Bird.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        He doesn’t hate though..

      • straffinrun

        That’s how you can tell Chinese hate birds from Japanese hate birds. No spitting. *Honk, honk*

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        Round here they just lay big green turds that they don’t clean up, i mean hey, I pick up my dog poop, how about some courtesy, Hate Birds!

      • Lord Digby

        I can find no fault in that logic. Hate birds; clean up after your nasty asses!

    • Some Random Asshole pt 15

      Hate Birds migrating to my park! Hate shit all over the course, and when I walk Bella, she wants to Kill HATE BIRDS!
      Good Doggie!

      • Festus

        I remember taking my little doggo to the river on New Years Day, 1996. He wanted to keeeel them cows across the way. The only thing that stopped him was the shriekiest voice that I’ve ever managed. Half frozen river is not a friend to little doggo. Heh. He was my buddy and always managed to shit in my exes shoes and on her Son’s pillow. I miss that dog.

      • Chafed

        Truly man’s best friend.

      • Some Random Asshole pt 15

        ^this

      • Lord Digby

        shit in my exes shoes and on her Son’s pillow

        That dog had an astounding alimentary canal, it sounds like. Truly, a dog who can give shit to those deserving of such.

  32. Some Random Asshole pt 15

    It’s a half past 4 and I’m shiftin’ gears..

  33. Some Random Asshole pt 15

    Billy Joel is a poor mans Elton, TBS

    • Lord Digby

      Oh, man….why do I think that, if I knew him, I’d really like him, prior to this announcement?

      I dunno…maybe I could teach him about ‘channels’, the buttons that bring those channels to you, and then maybe move on to things like DVRs, and Puppy Bowl.

      Pastor Dave? It’s not a matter of what you take in, per se; especially if you are already opposed to whatever it is. In fact, you can read about it in….The BIBLE!!

  34. Festus

    I don’t dress quite as spiffy. i’m gonna go eat some meatloaf and watch a movie with Judi. Best wishes to all y’all!

    • Chafed

      You wear clothes while eating? Well La dee da.

      • Lord Digby

        Literally a Mr. Fancy-pants.

        /smdh

      • Lord Digby

        *thunderous applause*

        I was so hoping for this when I posted. !

        It’s like a Canucki version of Chafed’s patented DigbyRoll.

  35. Gustave Lytton

    As I suspected. Adding mayo, mustard, and ketchup while leaving off the spread makes INO almost a decent short order burger. Now if they only had bacon…

    • Lord Digby

      My apologies, but, as someone who can’t stand condiments, what is “spread”, if it isn’t mayo, mustard, or ketchup?

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s allegedly some thousand island like sauce (so resembling ketchup, relish, mayo, and maybe mustard) but a) I suspect it’s industrially made with shortcuts and b) individually is good but mixed together and homogenized makes for bland flavor. Like mixing together all of the sodas from the fountain as a kid.

      • Lord Digby

        Ah–the wonderful “suicide” concoction! I did that once.

        Once.

      • Akira

        My friends and I did that with every liquor in my house… I think it was gin, both kinds of vermouth, several types of whiskey/whisky, absinthe, Galliano, and Bacardi 151.

      • Lord Digby

        Well……in my defense, I was, like, 8.

      • Akira

        Well in MY defense, we were completely fucking plastered, which tends to make grown men act like 8-year olds…

      • Lord Digby

        Hmm…touche’.

        ??

      • Lord Digby

        Also, I know it as “sauce’/secret sauce. But, “spread’ works just as well for me.

      • Festus

        As a former short-order cook, you are officially dead to me now.

      • Lord Digby

        If, in your life as a short-order cook, you had put any of that shit on my burgre (Canadian spelling), it might very well have been you who would be dead.

        Many a fast food lackey has had to endure my smoldering-disdain, passive-aggressive scowl, when I’ve had to go in to get a correction.

    • Lord Digby

      That’s more like Billy and Mr. Chappaquiddick combined.

    • hayeksplosives

      I thought the usual model is that the first generation builds thevemire/corporation, the second one solidifies and maintains it, and the third one squanders and destroys it.

      Looks like the Biden fam is bypassing the consolidation phase and going straight to frat party.

      • Lord Digby

        PARTY AT THE BIDENS!!! WOOOOOOH!!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hunter collects the door fees, Joe sniffs the girl’s’ hair, and Jill defends the place against Corn Ball with her shotgun.

      • Lord Digby

        Corn Ball

        *snort*

  36. Lord Digby

    OK, TPTB–got the latest Night Shift post submitted.

    • Gender Traitor

      The neighbor who fired the arrow is a “good Samaritan”

      With Samaritans like that…

      • Tres Cool

        Mind the road this morning, home-slice

      • Gender Traitor

        Will do, homey! Just heading out to clean off the car.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Huh, they admit to brawling but she got carted off to jail and not him. I guess it does pay to be the first one to call the cops sometimes because that seems to be the only explanation unless he’s in a wheelchair or something.

      • R C Dean

        She tazed him repeatedly. Why arrest him?