Wednesday Afternoon Links

by | Feb 19, 2020 | Daily Links | 391 comments

Man, slow news day. Sloopy hooverd up all the news, and I’m left with celebrity gossip and dross.

I wonder if Hayden Panettiere’s ex-boyfriend taught her how to take a punch.

This is not going to help Boeing inspire confidence in the 737-Max.

Bloomberg and Sanders both accuse the other of actually having a heart.

At six, I can barely get my son to ride a bicycle without training wheels. This little girl is doing 360s on a snowboard. Not weighing anything probably helps bad landings hurt less.

 

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

391 Comments

    • Tonio

      Disc golf. Cool.

      • Chipwooder

        There’s a disc gold course in the woods near my house, and it cracks me up seeing those guys walking around with a bag full of specialized frisbees.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m working on an article about it, there are good reasons for all of the different discs, I’m rolling 13 right now,

      • Tonio

        Eight in my bag, and an additional fourteen in the disc bin. A lot of those in the bin are duplicates and heavy on the putters since I have backyard goal.

        I have to change out my bag. The Lama told me I didn’t throw strong enough for the Speed 12 and 14 discs I’d been hurling.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I used my 12 speed Destroyer today and impressed myself, It’s about 20 Mph winds here, so it’s all fun stuff and trick shots, no scoring today.
        And yeah, I use 4 putters, all almost identical, and practice at home, it helps…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I like the Disc in the River picture below,

  1. UnCivilServant

    Way back in college, I was in a class where one of the group projects was to sell a technology product that didn’t exist yet. Our team came up with an autodrive system (this was years before any similar projects were even rumored). When asked about how the system would know what the speed limit was, we realized we hadn’t covered that aspect. In a bit of a fluster I blurted out, “It would look for rectangular white signs with numbers on them.”

    It looks like one of my classmates must work for Tesla, and it’s as bad an idea now as it was then.

    • Tundra

      Lol. “Hackers”, huh? It was a piece of fucking tape!

      Why on earth wouldn’t the system interface with the navigation? Even Google Maps on my phone has accurate speed info.

      • DrOtto

        Same with Passport radar detectors.

      • UnCivilServant

        It should take the lower value between the camera and the GPS. I’ve had areas where the database behind the GPS maps hadn’t been updated with changed speed limits yet.

      • Tundra

        Why? BFD if your cruise control is 5-10 mph off reality.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s often more than that, and the tickets add up.

      • Tundra

        Then pay attention or just drive the fucking car.

        Obviously there are a million variables and maybe someday they can cut it to half a million. But there is no way in hell that this is a safe and consistent system.

      • Homple

        “Then pay attention or just drive the fucking car.”

        You’re making Elon sad.

      • Sensei

        Mapped values in public databases don’t always match the actual road.

        I’ve had my Model 3 quickly brake from 75 and attempt 50 in the middle of heavy traffic because the road wasn’t updated on Google Maps. Scared the heck out of me. I think I managed to get it stopped at about 65 or so, but the guy behind me had every right to pissed at me.

      • UnCivilServant

        hrmm…

        So, ideas for further improvement?

      • Homple

        I dunno, look out the windshield, and side windows, check the side and rearview mirrors, listen for sounds to become aware of the surrounding environment, use the steering wheel, accelerator pedal, brakes for their intended purposes.

      • MikeS

        LUDDITE!!!

      • Shirley Knott

        I wanted to sign up as a Luddite but I couldn’t find their website.

      • UnCivilServant

        You failed the first test.

      • MikeS

        Failed, or passed?

      • R C Dean

        And the great thing is, if he rearended you because your Tesla fucked up*, it would have been his fault.

        *I won’t comment whether using current-gen “auto-pilots” in heavy traffic is actually a pilot error.

      • Sensei

        Precisely.

        I like to think I’m a pretty considerate driver. I won’t use Autopilot in quite a few situation because I think it drives like a teenager who just got his license.

        That said there is a learning curve with it. However, the Tesla zealots think that since it is unrestricted on highways that they should just let ‘er fly!

        I’m not at all unhappy I didn’t spend $7k for “full self driving” that is as yet undelivered.

      • R C Dean

        I won’t use Autopilot in quite a few situations

        in the middle of heavy traffic

        Hmmm.

      • Sensei

        Look Mr Dean,

        I’ve been down the whole cross examination thing by counsel too many times… I also like how you stitched two different posts together. 😉

        Depends on the road and the traffic. In heavy traffic with less people cutting lanes it’s actually better. In moderate traffic it scares me more actually.

        As I also said learning curve. Also I’m well aware I’m 100% responsible for how it’s driving.

      • R C Dean

        Jus’ funnin wit ya, Sensei.

        Since you don’t live in east Tucson, when your Tesla causes a flaming pileup during rush hour, I won’t be in it, so its no skin off my nose.

      • RAHeinlein

        How do you like the Model 3?

      • Sensei

        Crazy fast and handles well. My Dec 2018 build quality is OK with mediocre paint.

        Great second car. If you need range in cold climates not so good. If you can afford it I can recommend it, but it’s a luxury, Subsidies, which I don’t think should exist, also soften the price.

      • RAHeinlein

        Thanks for the insight – the Model 3 is one of the car options we are exploring for our son once he passes his second SOA exam.

      • R C Dean

        Great second car.

        I think that’s got it. I could use an electric for my commute, and likely for trips to Phoenix (if I could recharge there without a hassle), but not for longer trips.

        Doubt I’d get a Tesla – the big single-point-of-failure electronics tablet gives me the willies.

      • UnCivilServant

        You know, it’d be easier to build an electric car without as many computerized bells and whistles. I’m going to guess there isn’t one on the market because they’re still targetting the “virtue signal toy” market.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        And there’s no way a city will want to be held liable for an out of date database.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Historically, most “hacks” are that simple in nature.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I was going to say. The Model Train Club must be proud.

    • DrOtto

      Mote interesting is the engineer referenced towards the bottom of the article. He kept experiencing a veer towards a concrete barrier in his Tesla when hid cruise control was on. The veer didn’t keep him from using it and it killed him. Failed IQ test.

      • DrOtto

        More not Mote.

      • Enough About Palin

        Moops.

      • The Last American Hero

        Moties have great engineers.

      • UnCivilServant

        But that’s less funny than fooling a computer with a piece of tape.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Maybe you had to know the guy?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        The veer didn’t keep him from using it and it killed him. Failed IQ test.

        I think people are becoming more and more isolated from lethal consequences to their decisions. It doesn’t even occur to them to stop and think if continuing on a course of action is safe.

    • Sensei

      From an article I read they spoofed an old Mobileye system that is no longer used.

      Mind you – Tesla and Mobileye had a parting of the ways because Tesla was using the system in ways that Mobileye wouldn’t sanction.

      Instead we have a Tesla designed system in current models that I use, but absolutely don’t rely upon. I won’t take my eyes off the road when I use it as I’ve disengaged it multiple times because I felt it wasn’t acting properly in certain traffic situations.

      • UnCivilServant

        *shrug* I can’t say for sure. Do we have the “hackers'” original press release?

      • Sensei

        In the article I read they did. The “hackers” were researchers.

        They reached out to Mobileye for comment. Mobileye replied since the sign was altered and a human could potentially misread the sign in the same way they didn’t consider it an attack that needed to be countered or something to that effect.

        It was typical PR run through Legal.

      • UnCivilServant

        The sign was altered… but a human would go “There’s no way the limit would be 85 through here.”

    • LJW

      My Accord has a speed limit sign reader. Not uncommon for me to look down and see my car telling me the speed limit is 90 when I’m in a school zone…

    • JD is Unemployed

      Trolling autobot Tesla passengers with fake 5mph limit signs? That’ll never happen.

  2. Juvenile Bluster

    Quick style check:

    “Dr. Ross’ experience…” or “Dr. Ross’s experience…”? Think it’s the latter.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Former, IMO

    • UnCivilServant

      “Dr. Ross’ Experience.”

    • Tonio

      The first one in contemporary US usage.

      • R C Dean

        I agree, but I prefer the latter, as it more accurately reflects the way it is said.

      • Don Escaped ORD

        Right

        Latter is Strunk and White because it’s unambiguous

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Yep, it’s what I use in all of my writing. The trailing apostrophe has a habit of being missed or accidentally removed.

      • Raven Nation

        Second one is Chicago Manual of Style.

    • Rhywun

      I use the latter.

    • Not Adahn

      I was taught that for one syllable names, append the ‘s.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was taught no exceptions for the “possessive s is just an apostrophe after the word” rule.

        Mind you, I went to public school.

      • Jarflax

        I’m going to wait for Ted to chime in.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Dr. Ro’s’s’s’ Experience”

      • Rhywun

        Dres’s for Les’s

      • Jarflax

        If multiple Mexican friends of two people named Ted S. own a style guide, is it Ted.Ses’ eses’ apostrophe guide?

      • Chafed

        That’s funny Jarflax. Cruel but funny.

      • Ted S.

        You all are lucky I don’t have cat-butt power.

      • Chafed

        Where is our resident expert when we need him?

      • Ted S.

        I was making dinner.

      • C. Anacreon

        Ted S’ exvuse

    • Lackadaisical

      I was looking it up earlier today, apparently everyone does it differently, but I would lean towards however someone would say it.

      • C. Anacreon

        So if I said “I’m going to punch you” you would lean towards it?

  3. Tonio

    At six, I can barely get my son to ride a bicycle without training wheels.

    Probably too late for him since he’s almost there, but I’ve seen many parents have tremendous success starting their kids on pedal-less bikes, ie Strider. That lets the kids develop balance (the harder skill) first, then pick up pedaling once they’ve mastered that and are ready for a real bike. Even seen some little kids at bike parks with Striders.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      This. Unfortunately I learned about this too late as well. I think my kids would have benefited from this type of bike.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Tonio is correct.

      With our first we did training wheels and he wasn’t getting it. One day with a Stryder type bike was all it took for him to get the balance then he was back on the regular bike but without training wheels.

      Then with the next two it was Stryder right away and never touched training wheels again.

    • Brett L

      We tried it. The kids used them more after they were too big for them.
      The two hardest things for him to learn were:
      1. Faster is more stable
      2. You go where your eyes are looking

      In less hyperbole, When he turned six, I took the training wheels off, made 2 or 3 runs with him, and then lied to his face and told him I was still holding on when I wasn’t for 2 or 3 more runs, and then he spent a day or two running himself up to speed before pedaling, and now he just rides. He’s fine. He just had to run into a mailbox about 3 times in a row before he listened to me about item (2).

      • Tonio

        Faster is more stable.

        That’s a problem for a lot of riders, just not the ones you see on Red Bull promos.

    • R C Dean

      I had a really hard time learning to ride a bike. Finally Pater Dean just took me to the top of a hill, put me on the bike, pointed it downhill, and shoved.

      Worked like a charm. Got me to that “its easier when its going faster” phase.

      At the bottom of the hill was a jungle gym (do they still have those?). I managed to weave and slalom through the whole thing without a scratch.

      • UnCivilServant

        I know the physics, I know that the angular momentum of the turning wheels imparts the stability… I just can’t do it in practice. I instinctively want stability before I start moving.

      • The Last American Hero

        Take the pedals off your bike and Fred Flintstone it for a while.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Our driveway is slightly sloped. Perfect for learning to ride. Once you let go they start going just fast enough to really help starting, but not so fast that it is scary.

        After about 10-20 launches each of the kids had that epiphany where they hit the right combo of speed, balance and pedaling. It was cool to watch how quickly they learned once they realized that speed/pedaling was the secret to not falling over.

        Altar Boy #1 was the one who did the dangerous stuff on his bike. Always wiping out. But most of that was because he was doing important things like trying to set the world record for longest skid mark in the road in front of our house.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Thanks Tonio. Kids are getting to this age now, and I’ve been looking at bikes. Not a lot of pavement though, will be hard going at first until they can hit a trail.

      • Tonio

        Good luck, SSD.

        And look at all you Glibs being all thrifty and inventive.

    • Brasidas

      I got one for my three year old daughter. It took a while, but it clicked for her in the past month or so.

      You can take the pedals and maybe the cranks off a bike and make your own.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s what we did. Went to Goodwill, got a beater bike and stripped the pedals/arms/chains. Ten dollar trainer.

    • LemonGrenade

      Also recommend starting with no pedals. We didn’t buy actual glide bikes for our kids, just took the pedals off until they got the hang of the balance part of it. Once they managed balance, mixing in pedaling took no time at all. And that was after three solid years of trying to teach the oldest using training wheels. I’m convinced the training wheels are actually counterproductive.

    • RAHeinlein

      I agree, the training wheels do more harm than good. I will also add that teaching kids to ride a bike when they aren’t ready and failing (i.e. continually falling) is borderline child abuse – similar to the throw the kids in the pool and they’ll learn to swim concept.

      • RAHeinlein

        I give the Duke a pass for tossing children and beating women.

      • Jarflax

        I agree. You shouldn’t use a pool. The kids learn better in a pond with snapping turtles.

      • Tundra

        Not gators? Work on the speed a little?

      • LemonGrenade

        That’s one of the reasons it took three years with the first one. We’d let him try until he decided to nope out, and then hope he was willing to try again eventually. He took his sweet time, even with the glide bike. The youngest was riding at full speed with pedals after just a few days on the glide bike.

  4. Q Continuum

    “Bloomberg and Sanders both accuse the other of actually having a heart.”

    Cripple fight!

    • The Other Kevin

      * notices TOK signal *
      Meh.
      * goes back to reading about hockey*

      • Spudalicious

        And Q gets pwned.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to dox Q, send angry screeds to his employer, and organize a Twitter mob to threaten his family. Isnt that how it works in 2020?

  5. Rebel Scum

    Mike Bloomberg and Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaigns sparred Wednesday over which 78-year-old is in better cardiac health.

    Let ’em duke it out. Winner takes on Corn Pop.

    • PBRstreetgang

      Push-Up contest!!

      • Bobarian LMD

        Pool chains and straight razors!

      • DrOtto

        Bang ’em on the curb first!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *drags rain barrel out of shed*

        Let’s go!

    • The Other Kevin

      They took a later REM song and made it sound like an earlier REM song.

    • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

      This link sent me down a rabbit hole of similar major-swapped-for-minor (or vice versa) song links, as well as mashups of very unlikely songs together.

      Loved ’em.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My son likes to do that to a bunch of music.

  6. Bobarian LMD

    If Hayden can take a punch from Klitchko, she probably laughed at Brian.

    “You hit like a bitch.”

    • Drake

      Does she still act or is getting into drunken arguments now her full-time gig?

      • Rasilio

        She was one of the main stars of Nashville which ran through 2018. Haven’t head of her being in anything since.

        Then again she had to take just about a whole season off of that show because she was dealing with some pretty serious post partum depression.

        Honestly it is kinda sad, she is actually a pretty talented actress but seems to be pretty screwed up in the head in ways typically more associated with trailer trash than high level tv stars.

      • C. Anacreon

        Wasn’t she a superhero in some old tv show?

      • The Last American Hero

        Yes, and her power was the ability to take a punch.

    • Chipwooder

      Pretty sad state of affairs when her daughter is better off living in fucking Ukraine with her father than with this two lunatics.

      • Chafed

        I didn’t know that happened. Yeah, that really gives away the whole thing.

  7. Drake

    Will the battle of the old Jews – the billionaire oligarch vs. the Bolshevik – create antisemitism in the U.S.?

    If one of our resident fiction writers made a character like either of them, it would seem like a cartoonish exaggerated stereotype.

  8. Gadfly

    Bloomberg and Sanders both accuse the other of actually having a heart.

    Wait, both of them are 78, five years older than Trump? So the Democrats have a real possibility of nominating someone older, shorter, with worse hair, and (somehow) worse personality? No wonder they’re offering so much free stuff, they are starting off with a great deficit among the superficial voters.

  9. Rebel Scum

    There is no limit to the depravity of Bad Orange Man.

    “Let’s talk about a president who has pardoned war criminals that shot little girls, pardoned war criminals that killed defenseless prisoners, and then yesterday, of course, pardoned Wall Street convicts, pardoned politicians who acted in the sleaziest of ways,” Scarborough stated. “This is Donald Trump numbing everybody to the future pardons of his co-conspirators Roger Stone and Paul Manafort and maybe even Michael Flynn.”

    • Q Continuum

      “pardoned war criminals that shot little girls, pardoned war criminals that killed defenseless prisoners”

      wut

      • Rebel Scum

        I assume he is taking w/e he is referencing way out of context.

      • AlexinCT

        They punished him for putting a dying guy out of everyone’s misery. What a bunch of douchebags…

      • Chafed

        Not so fast Alex. As I understand it, there are plenty of other SEALS that were pissed when he was pardoned. It sounded to me like they think he is a problem and will only tarnish their reputation.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Manafort should rot. Stone and Flynn for lying to the cops should get sentences commuted.

      • UnCivilServant

        What did he actually do? I don’t think I ever knew.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Tax evasion.

      • AlexinCT

        By this logic, most of the people in the Obama admin should be in jail. Didn’t we have a great laugh at Obama when several of his key cabinet people have to pay a shit ton of back taxes so they would not end up disqualified or in trouble with the IRS when investigated? Something like 30% to 40% of them if I recall correctly. And those were the ones that admitted they were in trouble of being found guilty of tax evasion.

      • The Last American Hero

        Including his POS Treasury Secretary. You know, the guy that oversees the IRS.

      • RAHeinlein

        Are you proposing “rot” as the mandatory minimum for tax evasion?

      • UnCivilServant

        For public officials who evade taxes, I’d agree.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Well the defrauding banks part doesn’t help.

    • R C Dean

      Now do Marc Rich!

      Ooh, and that Puerto Rican terrorist!

      • Chipwooder

        And the Iranians Obama pardoned as a courtesy to the mullahs for the Iran nuclear deal.

      • Rhywun

        That terrorist’s #1 Fan is about to get a seat on the board of the state’s Transit Authority – because Deblasio just can’t help himself. A position for which she has apparently qualified by toadying for various hacks over the years rather than doing anything, you know, related to the job.

      • Sensei

        Yes, the NY Post had fun with her nomination.

      • R C Dean

        “We are very, very proud that Oscar López Rivera has been freed and he’s gonna get a special title this year called the ‘National Freedom Hero,’”

        Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

  10. Tundra

    Hiya Brett!

    The snowboarder kid is awesome! My son was on a competitive team for many years and I was always astonished at the little kids and their fearlessness. I think you are right, less mass means less pain on impact. Still, I’ve seen crashes where the kid gets taken off the hill in the sled, only to be back at practice a few days later with his arm in a cast. Tough little fuckers.

    • Q Continuum

      She is a walking, talking cringe.

      • Bobarian LMD

        So thick you can eat it with a comb! But use a brush because you’ll want to get it all!

    • Viking1865

      It’s so telling to me the approach there. Shes looking at a heavily Hispanic crowd and going PANDER PANDER PANDER. Hey look a bunch of Hispanics, all those people care about is that I took Spanish in school.

      Trump in front of that same crowd would probably talk about great hotel and casino employees are, how grateful he is to have worked with so many people, and then discussed how many new jobs have been created in Vegas since 2016, and talked about how theres a brand new hotel and casino opening up in 2020 and in 2021, and if hes reelected, he bets there will be more projects greenlit. Mega classy casinos, the best casinos, gold everywhere, very nice, everyone says so.

      • creech

        You forgot “yuge.”

  11. Rebel Scum

    The walls are closing in?

    Brzezinski said Trump going after his fellow New York billionaire on Twitter by calling him “Mini Mike” and saying he would “rather” run against him shows the president is “feeling the heat” from Bloomberg.

    “Joe, just before we go, Trump versus Bloomberg — I feel Trump’s feeling the heat a bit,” Brzezinski told host Joe Scarborough.

    Scarborough agreed, adding, “The other thing they’re starting to recognize is that this guy knows how to dominate media cycles, just like Donald Trump.”

    I guess it helps to own an media empire.

    • MikeS

      What in the actual fuck happened to Joe? Is the pussy really that good?

      • Spudalicious

        I think he’s painted himself into a corner and there’s nowhere else for him to go.

        And Mika? Would.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Mika’s got the same problem that Tulsi Gabbard’s got — her face looks good from a distance and with make-up, but both had horrible acne problems as children, and it’s left them with permanent scars.

      • Spudalicious

        It’s the legs for me.

      • MikeS

        Would, also.

        But would not become a liberal hack in order to get down her pants. Not for more than a few months, anyway.

      • Spudalicious

        Long weekend at best.

    • Chafed

      I’m in a frustrating mediation dealing with an unrealistic opponent. Maybe I’ll show opposing counsel some pictures to lighten the mood.

      • The Last American Hero

        Is the mediation related to a hostile work environment for a female employee? If so, I’d hold off on the picture show.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Impeachment has always been political.

    Henry Clay was like a shark with the smell of blood in the water and quickly created new legislation for the resurrection of the Bank of the United States and high protective tariffs. President John Tyler vetoed all of it, causing an explosion of apoplectic hatred toward Tyler on the part of Clay and the Whigs rivaled only by today’s extreme, vitriolic hatred of Donald Trump by the congressional Democrats and their sock puppet media mouthpieces.

    Tyler vetoed the bank bill by saying: “The power of Congress to create a national bank to operate per se over the Union has been a question of dispute from the origin of the Government . . . . [M]y own opinion has been uniformly proclaimed to be against the exercise of any such power by this Government.” …

    Henry Clay and the Whigs became unhinged and deranged, organizing a mob to literally break down the gates to the White House (the Secret Service was not created until the Lincoln administration), throw rocks at the White House while shouting “A Bank! A Bank” and “Down with the veto!” as recounted by Oliver Chitwood’s biography of Tyler. They imposed an early-day version of Guantanamo Bay-style sleep-deprivation torture with incessant shouting, pounding on drums, blowing trumpets and horns, and firing rounds from blunderbusses. They burned President Tyler in effigy, threw the “corpse” out into the street, and expelled him from the Whig Party. (Willard “Mitt” Romney, call your office). Every member of the cabinet resigned except for Daniel Webster, who was in the middle of a treaty negotiation. A letter-writing campaign was organized that resulted in hundreds of letters being sent to the White House that threatened the assassination of the president. Like today’s Democrats, the Whig Party was paralyzed with obscene hatred.

    John Tyler also became the first president to be subjected to Articles of Impeachment, which were filled with rather hilarious political bluster. He was accused of “arbitrary and despotic abuse of the veto power”; “open hostility to the Legislative department of the Government,” as though that was a bad thing; and “vacillation, weakness, and folly,” among other absurdities. The Articles of Impeachment were ultimately rejected.

    • creech

      The anti-Tyler shit fit seemed to have worked as James Polk, a Democrat , won the next election. Polk’s V.P. was George Dallas, for whom the city of Dallas, TX is named.
      Ironically, Dallas Cowboy and Phila. Eagle fans hate the crap out of each other but few realize that George Dallas had been mayor of Philadelphia!

  13. Enough About Palin

    “Not weighing anything probably helps bad landings hurt less.”

    As a former women’s gymnastics coach, I can attest to this. I had an opportunity to coach at the elite level and the folks I coach with would debate what the one thing was that a young kid needed to have to become an elite gymnast. A coach from Florida posited that the most important thing was durability. I concurred.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I thought it was “an innate capability to ignore pervy old men”.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The ‘medical exams’ are a little rough, too.

    • Ozymandias

      Three of my daughters were gymnasts, one at a pretty high level. She was also captain of her high school gymnastics team, which had sweatshirts that said,
      “If it were easy, it would be called ‘football.'”
      I watched girls gymnastics for years and those kids were tough as nails. They trained insane amounts (too much, IMO), perpetually injured, and did things that scared the shit out of me to watch. That is not a sport for the weak-willed.

      • Enough About Palin

        I competed internationally in men’s gymnastics and I wouldn’t turn a cartwheel on the high beam for 10 Grand. And a lot of you know what I’d do with 10 grand.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I assume it involves hookers and blow.

      • Tundra

        You don’t want to know.

      • Enough About Palin

        It’s a lot more wholesome than that.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        That’s probably why you won’t see transgenders in women’s gymnastics.

      • Ozymandias

        You won’t see transgender people in women’s gymnastics, but that’s not the reason. It has to do with the natural differences in men’s and women’s CG, particularly with the uneven bars. It’s why men’s bar is just one single bar. There is the consideration of “splitting the beam” as they say. It’s painful for girls, too, but for men – even former men – I believe it would be even worse. Again, has to do with biological women being built differently then bio-males, especially in the hips. Being built for having kids or not can’t be changed with hormones, no matter what the idiots say.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I’d think a chick with a dick could figure out how to do the uneven bars, especially if xe were relatively short. Both the men and women have a floor routine and a they both have the vault. But splitting the beam would be so much more painful for a man, though my daughter tells me it’s pretty damn painful for a girl too.

      • Enough About Palin

        It’s not even splitting the beam that bothers me, it’s breaking an ankle or worse. I knew a kid that blew a high-level trick on the beam and it detached all of the muscles of her inner leg. Fuck!

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        it detached all of the muscles of her inner leg.

        Woof!

        My wife’s arm still doesn’t work quite right 25 years after breaking it horrifically coming off the bars wrong.

        “my forearm was shaped like an ‘S'”

      • Chafed

        All the libertarian women want your photo.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Yeah, my daughter just quit gymnastics a few months ago after about 10 years in the sport. There were some skills she couldn’t get in order to move to the next level, and with every injury you get further and further behind the competition.

      It amazes me how many things have to go right in order to reach the peak of that sport. Talent, dedication, discipline, money, the right gym, the right coaches, money, durability, more money…

      • Tundra

        My daughter quit artistic for trampoline & tumbling when she was quite young. I was relieved. That is a sport that is amazingly destructive.

      • robc

        My sister competed in gymnastics for years, she grew too tall to be elite. The leg muscles she had helped in track, she ended up a collegiate long jumper.

    • one true athena

      A friend’s daughter went to one of those training camps for strong competitors (I think she was 13 or so at the time, and had already been competing and private coaching for several years) — but the best part was the woman coach watches the girls train and then lines them up. In a strong accent, she asks each of them “Are you lazy or stupid?” Very old country style training (I don’t know if it was Marta Karolyi, but someone like that).

      • Ozymandias

        My daughters trained under two former Czech national team members – husband and wife – who escaped from behind the Iron Curtain in the 70s. Watching their training was like watching Marine boot camp, except with less swearing… and bad accents. No coddling of anyone, boys or girls.

    • Chafed

      Wow. Those are great photos.

      • UnCivilServant

        Apparently nobody got the reference, or was too concerned about what it would be.

  14. Gadfly

    So apparently Julian Assange is claiming that Trump offered him a pardon if he would say that the Russians didn’t hack the DNC. Who knows if it’s true, but it’s an interesting claim.

    • R C Dean

      If Julian wants to be damn sure he’s not pardoned by Trump, making that announcement is a good way to do it.

      • Gadfly

        Yes. I don’t think he wants to be pardoned.

    • R C Dean

      If Trump really wants to stick his thumb in the eye of Hillary’s and the national security Deep Stater’s, he should pardon Snowden, on the grounds that since “no reasonable prosecutor” would go after Hillary for leaking classified material all over the planet, no reasonable prosecutor would go after him, either.

      And just to twist the knife, say that he has little confidence that DOJ only has reasonable prosecutors, so he is pardoning Snowden as a preventive measure. Maybe say that if Hillary would also like a pardon for her server shenanigans, she only has to ask.

      • Chipwooder

        Hell, if he pardoned Snowden I’d vote for him enthusiastically. Stick it right up John Brennan’s ass.

      • R C Dean

        In before Ted S.:

        Those apostrophes are artifacts from before I tweaked it for readability. Sorry, bro. I know how those hurt you.

      • Gadfly

        That would be great, but it’s not happening.

  15. ttyrant

    Any of you in the Minnesota glib contingent been here?

    https://www.twincities.com/2020/02/17/the-commodores-west-dining-room-must-close-says-st-paul-owner-john-rupp-on-hook-for-24000/

    Short version: Owner of remodeled prohibition-era-and-themed bar and restaurant ignores city and re-opens without obtaining “certificate of occupancy”. City comes down hard and rules owner must pay $24K to the city for legal fees. I’m bummed because I assume there’s some chance this forces him to close down. I went there about a month ago – it was a little pricey, but the food, drinks, decor and wait staff were all excellent.

    • Tundra

      I was there a few times when it was still the University Club. Nice place. It’s a shame these fucking cities hate their tax cattle so much.

      • R C Dean

        *places buy order on popcorn futures*

      • AlmightyJB

        That MF is a raving lunatic.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s really gonna be uncomfortable at the convention when they deny him the nomination.

      • AlmightyJB

        Oh please let that happen. Give it to the .00000000001%’er. Lol.

      • Tonio

        Either way the convention is going to be a worthy sucessor to this shit-show.

        There will be riots if Bernie doesn’t get it.

      • Shirley Knott

        Yeah, that was not a good time.
        People constantly complain about how much worse things keep getting. I keep wondering what past they’re remembering. I was in junior high and high school for Watts, Detroit, Chicago, etc.

      • RAHeinlein

        I found it amusing that Biden’s Iowa Caucus performance was explained away with “they are all old white people” and “wait ’til South Carolina” where his black voter base resides.

      • Ozymandias

        He’s toast. And it seems to me that Lieawatha is probably done, too.
        We truly are in the best timeline; it’s going to be Bernie and Bloomie for the “D” nomination, which the DNC decidedly doesn’t want, and to say nothing about the anti-semitism problem that Team Blue has among a significant chunk of its regular voters.
        I’ll say it again: Trump by a fucking blowout. I’ll call it right now and say he wins 40 states.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        48

      • R C Dean

        Based on zero research or analysis, I say Trump won’t get more than 38 states. Because DemOp propaganda and voter fraud.

      • Jarflax

        Which States do you guys think he flips? The solid Blue States are now systemically locked down. They will deliver vote counts to order.

      • R C Dean

        “Based on zero research or analysis”

        No clue. I think he will do better than last time, when he got 30? 32? states.

      • Ozymandias

        I need to look at a map; I’ll answer after I’ve taken a close gander.

      • Gadfly

        Which States do you guys think he flips?

        I’ll chime in, since I think there’s a good possibility he flips at least one. He got 30 last time, and the D’s seem to be pulling hard to make sure he gets those same 30 back, and I think there’s a high chance he flips NH as well, since that was razor-thin last time. I think there’s a good chance a lot of Johnson people decide that Trump is a lesser evil than Bernie or Bloomie, which puts ME, MN, NV, & CO in play (I discount NM due to home-state distortion). But that’s the ceiling, IMO, 35 states, and I doubt he gets there.

      • Ozymandias

        GadFly has it about as I do.
        Trump got 30+ states last time – because he also got a couple of electors from Maine. I think he gets all of Maine this time, as well as NH, plus all of the ones GadFly has: MN, NV, CO, and I think he gets NM. That puts it at 36. I think he has a much better chance than most do to capture VA. VA has never been a solid blue state and still isn’t quite yet; I think the shenanigans in Richmond over guns plus the economy are going to cost the Dems enough to tip it to Trumpenstein. That gets him 37.
        My dark horse pick is MA – yup, my old home state and reliably Blue, but I think the Irish Catholics may have had enough of the identity politics and leftward lurch.
        My memory was faulty because I thought he had gotten more last time, so I’ll amend it to 38 states.

      • Viking1865

        I think the wildcards are

        Shy Trump Voter. How many are there that voted Clinton in 2016 who have quietly switched to Trump.

        The Civility/Norms Crowd. All those “concerned Christian conservatives” that make up a tiny fraction of the GOP but are on TV all the time. Are they really gonna vote for an actual socialist to stick it to the deplorables?

        I still can’t imagine there are many people who voted Trump in 2016 who regret that vote. Like, his crassness, rudeness, general douchery have been baked in the cake. If “grab them by the pussy” didn’t scare them off, I don’t think anything hes done in office will do it.

      • Ozymandias

        Viking – I agree with you. It’ simply this for me:
        1 – How many Trump voters from 2016 has he lost? Near zero, as far as I can tell, so I think he keeps what he got last time;
        2 – The “shy Trumpers” as you call them won’t be shy any more. He’s an incumbent President; the economy is doing well. There isn’t the same stigma in being a Trump voter like there was because the Media has pissed itself. I think that adds some voters for him;
        3 – His numbers among blacks and Latinos are going to give the Dems vapors. By traditional Repub standards, I believe he will do extremely well. (See also #2 about the economy). You can only call the guy a racist so many times and the unemployment numbers beat anything a D has done in decades (maybe ever);
        4 – He will be running against either a socialist or authoritarian (but I repeat myself!) – there will be low turnout among D’s; Hillary at least had Bill’s coattails, but neither Bernie nor Bloomie will get anywhere near the kind of support Herself did.

        For all of those reasons, I think he wins in a runaway, even with the voter fraud and fixing.

      • Ozymandias

        One other factor, last election had an unusually high vote total for third parties that won’t be there this time. Look at the states that Trump lost and at least a few of them are within the third party numbers of Hillary (like NM, for example). The third partiers, like me, will go to Trump in enough numbers to make a big difference in the end.

      • Don Escaped ORD

        It’s all about turnout in MKE and Bucks County: wills Dems stay home from the 2020 candidate the way they ignored Herself

      • Cannoli

        How many states will be flipped blue by finding boxes of ballots in the trunk of a car? Flip Florida and Arizona, for example, leaving everything else the same, and the Dem wins.

      • Gadfly

        Assuming the good economy continues and it really is Bern or Bloom, I say 34 states, max.

      • one true athena

        Hobbit can probably speak more to the current state of affairs in NM than when my parents were active, but my impression is the Blue Machine has been getting stronger, not weaker. They’ll be busing illegals to vote before they let Trump take it, IMO.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        NM has been getting bluer and bluer and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. Last year they passed the “gun show loophole” law (that has been widely ignored, and they just passed a “red flag” POS. We used to routinely have an R and D senator so that our little state could have representation whichever way the political winds blow. That disappeared some time back.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Was his name Toby?

      • AlexinCT

        Roh roh, Shaggy…

    • AlexinCT

      He was trying to make her get some jungle fever?

    • RAHeinlein

      If he forced her to watch Reading Rainbow, THAT would be criminal.

      • AlmightyJB

        I thought for sure it was going to be Birth of a Nation.

  16. Ted S.

    Spoiler: Nice CL results today.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I didn’t know Craigslist posted their revenue numbers.

    • SDF-7

      We launched a new light cruiser?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      *shakes fist*

  17. The Late P Brooks

    At six, I can barely get my son to ride a bicycle without training wheels.

    I was riding the chair at Bridger Bowl one day, and a kid who probably wasn’t any older than that went whizzing down the hill under me, with his mom behind him trying to keep up. He was completely relaxed, centered over the board and in total control. That kid is probably in the X games, now.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    what the one thing was that a young kid needed to have to become an elite gymnast.

    Or as the asshole coach in North Dallas Forty said, “Son, you’ve got to know the difference between pain and injury.”

  19. R C Dean

    Awesome.

    The majority open carried firearms ranging from a belt-mounted derringer, to a HMMWV-mounted Ma Deuce.

    I’m really wanting that .50 to be fully functional and not just decorative.

    • R C Dean

      Queries:

      (1) Would you go to a 2A rally?

      (2) If legal in your state, would you open carry?

      (3) If so, what would you carry?

      For me, the answers are yes, if it was in Tucson and I could make room in my schedule, and I believe I would carry the M1A. Not sure I would take any ammo, though.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        1) Don’t know. Hate crowds.

        2) Yes

        3) Carry pistol, most likely

      • UnCivilServant

        1: I did.

        2: It’s not legal. I personally wouldn’t want the hassle, so not here even if it were.

        3: *shrug*

      • RAHeinlein

        Yes. I’d carry an SR22. I realize this is not an impressive gun, but it’s a solid, reliable self-defense option, easy-to-shoot, and a great choice for women

      • Viking1865

        “I realize this is not an impressive gun”

        Anyone who ever says that to you in person, tell them to step back 10 feet. Tell them you will fire one shot every three seconds, and to just raise up their hands when they’ve had enough of those little bitty .22s in them.

        An overwhelming number of defensive gun uses end with the presentation of the weapon. Of the remaining, most of them end with the assailant retreating under fire, sometimes with a round in him sometimes not. There’s just not that many actual cases of “PCP crazed murderer continues to close with his victim in the teeth of pistol fire. Oh if only she’d carried the Super Blastomatic 9000 he would have been struck down by the hydrostatic shock from the Golden Tactical Critical XDXQZY JHP ammo.”

        First rule of a gunfight is to bring a gun.

      • R C Dean

        Super Blastomatic 9000

        Golden Tactical Critical XDXQZY JHP ammo

        *checks interwebs for prices and availability*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This

        And accuracy with a 22 is far higher than with a snubnose .38 +P

      • UnCivilServant

        Have you been spying on the steel challenge practices?

      • Not Adahn

        I registered PCCI for this weekend.

      • Chafed

        That’s the best gun advice I’ve seen in some time.

      • Viking1865

        It’s one of the things I’m big on for guns. I think that the Caliber Wars types have been a contributing factor to a lot of otherwise avoidable crimes committed against women. I think that a lot of women seeking out a handgun for personal protection go to a gun store and get handed what some dude considers to be “the bare minimum for a CCW” gun. Which is a snubby 38 (or worse a 357) with a 13 pound double action only pull and a kick like a mule, for a woman whos never shot a gun before. Then she says “Fuck it, I cant shoot guns, because this expert guy said this was the best gun for me and I cant shoot it well enough to matter”. So she gets victimized because pepper spray or “car keys in a fist” is far inferior to even the crappiest handgun. Where if he had taken some time and figured out which is the largest gun she has the ability to fire well and the desire to learn the manual of arms for, she would have been better off. Even something as foolproof and simple as an LCR in .22LR is better than nothing.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Mrs. Hobbit loves her GP-100 in .357. I mention changing it out and she’s, “It will blow your leg off!!”

        Who am I to argue?

      • Don Escaped ORD

        3. 686 x 6″ slung low for funsies

      • Jarflax

        If you have 3 of those on your belt the slung low will take care of itself.

      • R C Dean

        I’d take the M1A because rallies are all about the visuals and the scene, and its the “showiest” gun I have, especially with a 20 round mag.

        I would probably wear a tweed jacket and tie, BTW. Again, the visuals.

      • Don Escaped ORD

        Exactly correct

      • Shirley Knott

        Not every gentleman can pull off a tweed coat, but those who can, should.

      • Not Adahn

        because rallies are all about the visuals and the scene, and its the “showiest” gun I have, especially with a 20 round mag.

        I bet if you got the drum gilded, this would really “pop.”

      • Not Adahn

        Or I could have just linked this variant

      • Shirley Knott

        Shotgun Suzy carried two, why can’t you?

      • Chipwooder

        Yes

        Maybe. I generally dislike open carry – better to keep em guessing – but since it would be to make a statement, I’d consider it

        SCAR…..if I had one

      • Gustave Lytton

        1) Yes, already did

        2) No

        3) n/a

        It’s legal to open carry in the state capital for CHL holders, which some did, and caused vapors and probably going to get that restricted now despite zeros problems other than the fainting couches. But gun control is never about logic or reason.

      • Don Escaped ORD

        The CHL line in AUS is much shorter and faster than the regular one.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes.

        Not legal, but if it were yes, and I would carry…

        the USPSA/IPSC rig. Gotta balance out the crowd somewhat.

      • Spudalicious

        Probably not.

        Yes, I do on occasion now.

        Prolly a 1911.

      • Tundra

        Possibly, but I doubt it.

        I sometimes go OWB in the winter, but no.

        This.

      • Spudalicious

        Jaunty.

      • Tundra

        Thanks. I’m a dandy.

    • UnCivilServant

      Where are the pictures of the Ma Deuce?

  20. LCDR_Fish

    Just finished the last thread – not one mention of Margaret Dumont and Grouch Marx?!

    • Shirley Knott

      Slaps forehead. Excellent pick.

    • Ted S.

      I thought the thread was looking for female pairs.

      • Spudalicious

        How dare you assume genders, shitlord.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Thought it was just great pairings?

  21. Mojeaux

    I have spent the last few hours digitizing stuff I’ve written.

    O.M.G.

    I don’t know whether to bury my head in shame for all that drivel, go back in time and force myself to write it in pen instead of pencil, or just toss it all because the task is so daunting.

    I have 3 reams of stuff to digitize. I barely made it through 75% of the first one.

    • UnCivilServant

      That’s nearly 400 pages though. I mean it’s a book’s worth give or take.

      • Mojeaux

        I have to ALSO trascribe all the stuff written in pencil if I want to keep it. *headdesk*

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t read my own handwriting. It’s part of why I started typing.

    • Don Escaped ORD

      Fascinating

      I’m intrigued by the who and where on those folk

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know who gets called and who answers polls.

      • Urthona

        I’m sure they’re all a bit different, but this is just an average of all the polls. Whether it’s accurate to a tee I dunno, but it’s clearly trending up no matter what.

    • creech

      The question is “How many who approve of him will actually vote for him, and how many who disapprove will vote for him anyway?” It may all come down to the Dem’s choice to oppose him and if the economy can avoid turning down in the next eight months.

      • Urthona

        No one knows. Although he’s also crept up in head to head polls. But there are no state by state polls yet and these polls don’t mean much until right before the election.

        Sanders is the one who is beating Trump the most in head to head polls. Basically all of them. He also is capturing the same blue-collar male demographic that Trump did so threatens Trump the most there. No other Democrat is pulling there.

        I have no idea why Republicans are so excited that Sanders is winning. It reminds me of Democrats being excited that Trump is winning. It actually does not bode well for America at all and Trump is certainly not a shoe-in.

      • Not Adahn

        I have no idea why Republicans are so excited that Sanders is winning

        Acclerationism?

    • Jarflax

      Gainesville, what a shock

  22. l0b0t

    Sitting at my neighborhood brewery/taproom sipping a very nice short stout. Bartender must be new. 3 customers at one end in a group, 2 customers at the other end (me and some guy). Bartender sits on stool behind bar chatting with the 3 at the other end. I’ve had to flag her over and ask for every beer, while an empty glass sits in front of me. Then, I’ve had to ask for a napkin with each drink. Amateurs I tells ya!

    • Don Escaped ORD

      The Polish broad managing me in a ORD bar has no such problem.

      * burp *

    • Spudalicious

      I have no such issues, given that I’m on a first name basis with every bartender at the establishment. Sierra Nevada 40th Anniversary ale is a very different animal on tap versus bottle.

    • Shirley Knott

      WTF?

      • UnCivilServant

        Rising Wasabi is a satire site.

    • R C Dean

      Another 5,724 foreigners living in Japan have tested positive for yellow fever,

      IYKWIMAITYD

  23. Scruffy Nerfherder

    “There have been no confirmed deaths from yellow fever, but many have had terrible divorces and lost custody of their own children.”

    That’s only because they weren’t married to Italians or Puerto Ricans.

  24. Not Adahn

    Having leftovers of the vegetables I cooked last night. They’re still tasty, but I left the cloves and allspice in and now it seems to be having an anesthetic effect.

    • UnCivilServant

      How does that physically fit in such a small person?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I refer you to pornhub for an education in this matter.

      • Not Adahn

        That Japanese guy who kept winning Nathan’s was like 115 lbs.

      • The Hyperbole

        That Japanese guy Racist AF, OMG dude has a name.

        Takeru Kobayashi, I swear to god you fucking people.

      • Not Adahn

        Japanese guys are overwhelmingly twinks.

      • Jarflax

        He only set those records because Kirk reprogrammed the sim.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      She looks like she’s swallowed a few bangers in her time.

      • Ozymandias

        Oh, man. Scruffy from the top rope.

    • Rhywun

      She looks like the hooker from Futurama.

      • Tres Cool

        That spray tan.
        She’s already crossed over and became Irish.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Her face looks like it was cut and pasted on her head using MS Paint.

    • Not Adahn

      …that’s not a bad price for a breakfast for two.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I’ve actually eaten a “traditional” English breakfast (which is very similar to this fry-up) in a traditional English village. Trust me, that’s a breakfast for a family of four or more, and only if they woke up ravenous or dig ditches for a living.

      • Not Adahn

        Only one egg a piece? Pish tosh.

        Trying to fill you up with toast… and no jam in sight!

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, it’s not just a fry-up x 4. Unless a fry-up comes with just one slice of bacon. *shudder*

  25. Tundra

    Porsche Taycan EV Goes up in Flames in Florida Garage

    It’s also important to note that vehicle fires are not new. Gasoline-powered cars catch fire. One caught fire near my house just a few weeks ago. I have friends who have lost their cars to a fire that started alongside the road. Until we build cars out of asbestos that run on dreams and best intentions, vehicle fires will happen.

    Fuck you C&D. We all know ICE cars catch fire, too. It’s really rare, though, that it takes days for the damn thing to finally stop burning. And I’ve never seen firefighters do this.

    • UnCivilServant

      An ICE fire will be over in at most an hour.

      EVs can be burning for days, and self-reignite.

    • Mojeaux

      The more I hear about electric cars the madder I get. I have no dog in that fight, so I don’t know why I’m pissy about it.

      An electric BMW and Jaguar, FFS. An electric Harley. An electric Porsche, Astin Martin.

      Yes, please, let’s just cut the dick off these vehicles, shoot ’em up full of estrogen, and call them xe.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Then get on your knees and thank the Lord for Mazda. They are single-handedly fighting the battle to keep ICE viable. Skyactive-X is more efficient and produces less greenhouse gases from production to use to scrapping than any electric.

      • Tundra

        I love Mazda. If they could ever figure out body integrity (and bribe enough EPA fuckos to allow the rotary), I’d buy one.

      • Tundra

        Actually, I’ve had two.

        I’d buy another one.

      • Tundra

        Mad Scientist just wrecked another keyboard.

      • Mojeaux

        My husband had an RX7 when we got married. I drove it in a straight shot from Salt Lake City to Kansas City when we moved him here.

        That front end was swaying back and forth with every gust. Scared the bejeebers out of me for the entire 18 hours.

        If we ever win the lottery, he’s going to run out and buy an RX/whatever high-powered model they have then.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        He sounds like my kind of guy.

      • Mojeaux

        When we went to Kentucky for a day of distillery tours (he won the trip) (natch), he wanted to go to the Corvette factory. I was like, meh, whatever. Just give me a 1976 cobalt Stingray or GTFO.

        Man, that was awesome. My son got to “birth” a Corvette straight off the line (first start) and got a “birth certificate”.

        I don’t really care about vehicles too much. I tend to get attached to whatever I have, which have always been fairly powerful beasts.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Wait a minute. Mormons on a distillery tour? Does the mothership know?

      • Mojeaux

        We were supposed to go to 4 distilleries and we made it through the first 1/4 of the Buffalo Trace distillery before we had to bail. We were all about to puke from the smell.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I could never be a Mormon. Distillery/brewing smells are like a preview of Paradise for me.

      • Mojeaux

        I have a hypothesis concerning my alcohol (or not) consumption:

        1. It smells yucky and therefore it must taste yucky. I know alcohol is an acquired taste I never acquired, so I don’t know if…

        2. I have that much of an addictive personality. Sugar is my drug, but if I drank, would I be an alcoholic? Possibly yes. Maybe not. I don’t know.

        3. But it’s yucky, so I won’t be drinking any.

      • Tundra

        Huh?

        I had a 1984 RX-7 GSL-SE that stuck to the road like HM on a Chinese honeypot agent.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Like brown on rice?

      • Mojeaux

        There was something wrong with it, but I don’t remember what it was. It was 18 years ago, FFS.

      • MikeS

        I bet Aja got stuck in the tape player and that cancerous tumor then metastasized throughout the entire vehicle.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, at least we did get home at last.

      • Mojeaux

        That looks absolutely gorgeous and it ticks off all my energy-conservation boxes.

      • Mojeaux

        I am also pissy about battery-powered power tools.

        My son has the latest and greatest Milwaukee cordless impact drill.

        My 50-year-old Craftsman corded drill still has more torque.

        We have been through more cordless drills in this house than I can count and here I am with my trusty antique.

      • Don Escaped ORD

        +1

      • Tundra

        You’re pissy tonight!

        I have the latest and greatest Milwaukee 18V brushless that I use all the time. But when I had to help my awesome, but inept, neighbor assemble one of those gigantic redwood play structures, I broke out my 20+ year old Milwaukee Hole Shooter (seriously, that’s what it’s called).

        Right tool for the right job, right?

      • Mojeaux

        Yeah, I am pissy. The topic of electric cars is a sore spot and I don’t even know why, except for some reason, it triggers the feelings of totalitarianism coming down on top of me. I can almost FEEL control slipping out of my fingers.

        I’ve driven a hybrid Hyundai. I could…tolerate it. That’s the best I can do.

        All the bells and whistles new cars come with, where you can’t work on them yourself, to take the control away from you. The collapse of the used car market because of clunkers for cash. I dunno. It’s weird how I CARE. Because…why? No idea.

      • Jarflax

        Because the damn kids won’t getoff yer lawn?

      • Mojeaux

        I still have kids that get on other people’s lawns, so I’m careful about whom I yell at.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I love my Hole Shooter, but it’s nice to have cordless tools too.

      • Spudalicious

        If you’re talking half inch drills, corded is the way to go. You’re not going to mix mortar with most cordless drills. That said, a cordless lasts me about 15 years. I just bought a two piece DeWalt set that cost the same as a Porter Cable in the ’90s.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I’ve had to get the battery packs rebuilt (although you can buy some really nifty adapter plates now off the interwebs), but my Bosch cordless drill and driver have lasted me since 2008. Quite pleased.

      • Spudalicious

        The battery prices do piss me off. That’s why I went with the two piece set that had two batteries of the same size,, instead of the more expensive one that had two different sizes of battery.

      • MikeS

        You’re not going to mix mortar with most cordless drills

        As always, use the right tool for the job.

      • Jarflax

        For mixing mortar? Orphans. I’d go with orphans for that.

      • Ozymandias

        I love combustion engines; they are absolute engineering marvels. Some of them (like the rotary HM linked to below) are works of art. The T-700GE401 jet engines in the helos I flew with were miracles of engineering (they were the same exact engines as in the H-60 Blackhawks). Motorcycle engines are the same for me. The new Honda CBR1000’s have over 200 hp for less than 400 lb of motorcycle. I got to play on my friend’s along the 1 out of Santa Cruz with Monterrey Bay off to your right going south. It’s a fucking miracle.

        I cannot for the life of me understand that anyone in auto ever caved into the green, climate-change bullshit when it comes to cars. It makes me sick to my stomach. And I’ve driven the “ludicrous fast” Tesla and I will say they’re impressive. There is no lag time on electrons like there is with an engine, BUT – there is also nothing like the “feel” of twisting one’s wrist back and shooting a liter bike into an open space, along with the wind noise, the response, the actual heat off of the engine underneath you. You get none of that feedback in electric, none of that sensory input, and with respect to cars, you want that noise. I’ve ridden electric motorcycles and they’re dangerous because they’re so fucking quiet. You’re invisible, both visually and audibly, to cars around you.

        /Rant Off
        Fuck those electric bikes, cars, trucks, all of it

      • Mojeaux

        Dude, please do not get my motorcycle lust going. I haven’t ridden a motorcycle since I got pregnant the first time.

        My last bike was a Virago 920.

      • Ozymandias

        When I lived in Cali for 6 years I owned zero cars and a total of four motorcycles: 2, then 1, then 1. I absolutely loved my classic CBR-954. I bought it off of my friend’s sister (yes, sister) and she took great care of it. It was the paint scheme like a Coors Light can, so it was “the Silver Bullet.” I also had a Yamaha FZ1 in Maroon in Gold (I believe that’s the R1 engine with slightly forward handlebars and pegs a few inches forward; better commuter bike, but liter bike power). Then a couple of Harleys, the last one of which I’m trying to sell now. I want to get back on sport bikes while I can still swing my leg over. 😉

      • Mojeaux

        I had a neighbor who was willing to let me drive his Ninja 1500, ride pillion and put his feet down for me (couldn’t reach), the way he did for his girlfriend.

        Alas, my…ahem…belly was a little more than could be squeezed into the tiny space and still reach the throttle.

        I once drove a Triumph. Damn near killed myself trying to remember to switch throttle and clutch.

      • Homple

        Could be that manufacturers are hoping or preparing for government mandated numbers of electric vehicles. Musk is probably dumping lobbying and Global Warming scare money to move things along.

        I think the electric car vs. Internal combustion engine fight is going to be the incandescent lightbulb ban writ large.

      • Mojeaux

        I think the electric car vs. Internal combustion engine fight is going to be the incandescent lightbulb ban writ large.

        YES! You’ve put your finger on it precisely! That topic fills me with the same impotent anger as electric cars.

        I want fucking incandescent lightbulbs and I don’t want to be made to drive an electric car.

      • Ozymandias

        Yep, nailed it. I have the same pet peeves. I fucking hate the lightbulb thing. It’s a safety issue for me: if I get up in the middle of the night and need to flip on a light because I hear a noise, I WANT MOTHERFUCKING LIGHT, EVERY LAST WATT. I want the other guy’s shadow to appear in stark contrast instantly, his night vision to be ruined, just as well as mine, but I sure as fuck don’t want a pink wan that will eventually be something that helps me see… five minutes from now. Fuck those people.

      • Jarflax

        YOu know the new LED bulbs are massively brighter than incandescents and last many times longer right? I agree the ban was idiotic, not least because if they had just waited a few years the LEDs would have killed the incandescent anyway.

      • Ozymandias

        I don’t have those. I’ll have to look. I was living in CA and not in control of the bulbs, but my house here in AZ when I bought it had all of those crappy lights pre-installed, so I’ve been trying to replace them with something better as they go out. I’ll look at ’em.

      • Jarflax

        I bought these a bit over a year ago and had to step down to the 60 watt equivalents because they are actually too bright for some uses. They cost more per bulb but they are supposed to last a very long time. I don’t know how long, because I have only used them since January 2019, but none have burned out yet.

      • Tundra

        Yeah. I actually like LEDs better.

        The LED revolution was coming anyway. No need to legislate.

        Hey! Kind of like every other fucking advance…

      • Not Adahn

        Hmmm. “Not eligible for shipments to California.” These might be good.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, ConEd was practically giving away GE LED bulbs for a buck apiece so I stocked up recently. They’re great.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        The CFL (compact fluorescent “twisty” bulbs) were always a bridge technology to ultrabright LEDs. All the LED bulbs I have turn on instantly (with the exception of the “Luminus” brand available through Costco — the 100-watt-equivalent ones have a weird sub-second delay in some situations), but I have noticed that the best-engineered bulbs are from Phillips. None of those I’ve ever bought have failed, whereas virtually every other brand (GE, Feit, numerous “off” [Chinese] brands) have screwed the pooch at one time or another.

        Hackaday has a great write-up of why so many LED bulbs now have reduced life-spans and/or failures long before their stated lifespans are up:

        https://hackaday.com/2019/02/05/what-happened-to-the-100000-hour-led-bulbs/

      • Not Adahn

        I’ve found that the LEDs, like CFLs are temperature-dependent when it comes to their light output.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I’ve found that the LEDs, like CFLs are temperature-dependent when it comes to their light output.

        Can’t say I’ve noticed that, and I have a bunch of outdoor LEDs that just came through a sub-minus-thirty stretch of cold weather. Instant starts, and stupid bright. Mind you, they’re all Philips bulbs.

      • Tundra

        I think he means color temps.

      • Not Adahn

        No, dimmer when the room temp is below 60 or so.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        . . . dimmer when the room temp is below 60 or so.

        WHAT?!? Good God, man, where the Hell are you buying your bulbs from? If I ever had an LED bulb that behaved like that over that modest a temperature differential, I’d take ’em back. And possibly consider suing the manufacturer.

      • Jarflax

        I think Not Adahn may be one of the Lizard People and the problem is metabolic not ambient.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That waste heat works quite nicely in my garage and pump house.

        I’m happy with led bulbs in some applications but for others, I want incandescents. Also high flow toliets and showers, tub controls without unoveridable scald controls, non-HE appliances, phosphate dish soap and laundry soap (where i don’t have to add my own additives), and gas cans from the store that aren’t fire hazards.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        That sounds like a Dennis Leary rant.

      • Don Escaped ORD

        I hate compact florescents: you hafta flush those like eight or ten times.

    • Spudalicious

      Spud approved technique.

    • Tres Cool

      “Its electric motor produces 141 horsepower (105 kilowatts) and 184 pound-feet (249 Newton-meters). It allows for 18 miles (28 kilometers) of driving purely on electric power.”

      18 miles? No thanks.

      • Homple

        Why do they quote maximum torque without specifying the RPM at max t? For an electric motor, that’s probably at stall, so that tells how good the motor is as a parking brake.

  26. Shirley Knott

    Michigan is beginning the ‘2nd amendment sanctuary’ counties movement. Perhaps too local, but I note that the latest 2 counties to make a move are capitol city adjacent.
    Here, at least for now.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      What is sad is that a significant portion of those who support 2A sanctuary cities, froth at the mouth in rage at immigration (freedom-of-movement) sanctuary cities and vice versa. Hell, there is a guy who writes for the Federalist who is furious that the DEA hasn’t invaded Colorado, etc..

      Very few people get that you can’t have federalism for thee without federalism for me.

      • Ozymandias

        That’s a great point and maybe it’s something libertarians ought to be capitalizing on and trying to push that out into this kind of environment where people might listen, at least. Someone should probably write something about that… maybe even weave in an explanation of why the 17th Amendment helped fuck this up, and how certain Senators even said publicly they would support repealing it…. Hmmm….

      • Homple

        Keeping and bearing arms is a specific constitutional right, free admission to any foreigner who wants to come here is not.

      • Shirley Knott

        Yup. When we stopped having a culture of ‘mind your own business’ it all went to hell.

      • Not Adahn

        To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

        -Chester A. Arthur

      • Urthona

        To be honest, the gun rights sanctuary counties have a more valid legal argument too.

  27. commodious spittoon

    What’d we do to deserve a site-wide corgi butting?

    • UnCivilServant

      Aside from the usual?

    • Tundra

      It’s a reward.

  28. commodious spittoon

    The vegemite arrived. I’m getting a buzz on before I dive in.

    • Raven Nation

      Vegemite. Food of the gods.

      • Tundra
      • Tundra

        Sailing is weird. I watched that twice and read the description and still have no idea what the fuck is going on.

        My favorite sailing song.

      • Ted S.

        I would have guessed this.

      • Tundra

        Ah, now I remember!

      • Jarflax

        gods like Nyarlathothep, Shub-Niggurath and Yog- Sothoth maybe.

      • UnCivilServant

        Would you like to hear the word of the Crawling Chaos?

      • Jarflax

        Worse than the Mormons. You let one Color out of Space in to share the good news next thing you know the dog is foaming at the mouth, the cat has moved out and the kids are growing tentacles.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fine, be that way.

        *shambles awa*

        Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!

    • Spudalicious

      Pussy. You need to try it straight and then get a buzz on.

    • Florida Man

      We brought some back from Australia. It’s vile.

  29. commodious spittoon

    “And my Twitter fight with Little Mikey Bloomberg!” Donald said. “Woosh!” he said along with the whooshing sound of another tweet being sent. He dropped the phone into his armpit and went back to eating.

    Please tell me he’s eating fries from the bag, not the fries he just rubbed into his crotch.

    • Spudalicious

      How do you know he didn’t have his junk in the bag?