Wednesday evening whatyagonnado links

by | Feb 5, 2020 | Daily Links | 524 comments

Little girl want some free candy?

 

We lost him too soon.

 

Chicoms not telling the truth? Pshaw.

 

Seriously, I don’t think there’s enough alcohol to placate Nancy right now.

 

There are some major medical advances just around the corner.

 

I think Chris Wray needs to spend less time trying to defend the FBI. He can do that after he cuts out the cancer and shows progress.

 

There was a discussion the other day over classic composers. Because it was the theme song for The Frugal Gourmet, my first love was Handel’s Water Music. It’s a shame the Frug turned out to be just another alcoholic, pedophile Methodist priest. Good recipes though.

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

524 Comments

  1. Not Adahn

    Methodists don’t have priests.

    • Spudalicious

      Whatever they have. Just another reason I don’t do organized religion.

      • Urthona

        If you prefer disorganized religion, there’s always the Democratic party.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. – Will Rogers

      • Not Adahn

        Methodist ordination is not a sacrament, so the pastors don’t have any magical powers.

      • Urthona

        lame! do they at least get light sabers?

      • Not Adahn

        And the performance on that recording is terrible. I haven’t heard brass that flat since the episode of M*A*S*H where they ran over Winchester’s French horn with a jeep.

      • Spudalicious

        Not the greatest but I love the Trevor Pinnock rendition. The CD is much better quality.

      • Not Adahn

        That shouldn’t affect the intonation.

      • Ted S.

        Are they using period instruments? Because I believe Händel was writing before valved instruments were a thing.

      • Not Adahn

        Wait, there’s an umlaut? Why isn’t it spelled Haendel then?

      • Don Escaped Texas

        After living in Texas, you well know the joys of spelling the exact same name at least three different ways and pronouncing it at least five.

      • Lord Digby

        +1Waxahachie

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I rode the Waxahatchie rally once, 60 miles IIRC.

        Mayor is there to kick it off and says something like “it’s an old Comanche name that means ’60 miles from Dallas.'” Big laughs.

        I don’t know Comanche, but that’s from a Civilized tongue. . . from my parts, not Texas. My guess: Cow Creek.

        The ride sucked and I never went back (same with Crowley and Forney). The Italy ride is not excellent, but they have great t shirts, not that any can be found on the interwebz.

      • Lord Digby

        Sorry, Don, but, I know not of what you speak.

        /bought my Murano in El Segundo Waxahachie

      • Rhywun

        Because English typewriters don’t have an ä and English speakers aren’t typically aware that ae and ä are equivalent.

      • Not Adahn

        And don’t even get me started with those assholes who would insist on referring to B natural as “H” if the piece being played was from a German composer.

      • Ted S.

        To be fair, we do say “castrati”.

      • Rhywun

        The presence of an umlaut or not is usually a historical or stylistic choice. For example, Goethe is never spelled “Göte” though it could be.

        The umlaut was an innovation that came (IIRC) in the early modern era. It stems from writing the “e” over the preceding vowel instead of next to it, which evolved into the two dots.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        “Göte” though it could be.

        I never understood “tz.” Same sort of thing: Beltz some places when only Belz is required.

      • Rhywun

        ?‍♂️ No word ends in just “z” – it’s always “tz”.

        I have a couple theories but I don’t want to bore anyone.

        But yeah German spelling has never been “perfect”. There are many inconsistencies, if not as many as in English.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Spaz

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Schmerz?

      • Rhywun

        Schmerz

        Sigh.

      • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

        Handel was a German. Germans love them süm umlauts.

      • Ted S.

        ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß

        [/hisses at Mojeaux for umlaut abuse]

      • Festus

        Back in the 80’s my brother started a metal band called Umlaut.

      • RAHeinlein

        Umlauts – +1 Gilmore Girls.

  2. DEG

    Some are speculating that a coding problem could be causing the real “internal” data to accidentally appear. Others believe that someone behind the scenes is trying to leak the real numbers.

    However, the “internal” data held by Beijing may not reflect the true extent of the epidemic. According to multiple sources in Wuhan, many coronavirus patients are unable to receive treatment and die outside of hospitals.

    Maybe in fifty years or so Frank Dikötter’s intellectual descendants will find the real numbers.

    • YDAK

      i thought you were Quoting an Iowa caucus article…

      • DEG

        Heh

      • Sean

        86% reporting so far.

        ??

    • creech

      Was the Frug ever found guilty or just another victim of “let’s accuse a celebrity (or SCOTUS nominee) of sexual wrongdoing?”

      • Rhywun

        No, but he “settled”.

        /wikipedia

      • Spudalicious

        Accusations made and he instantly disappeared from public life without denying it.

      • Aloysious

        This still pisses me off. Because he settled, I don’t know who really deserves to be shit on.

  3. DEG

    For example, the work found the early development of some cancers can occur decades before diagnosis, sometimes even in childhood.

    Yikes.

  4. mexican sharpshooter

    I AM SPARTACUS.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      +1 Athens Academy of the Performing Bards in 1997 (feel free to look it up)
      RIP

  5. YDAK

    Remember Graham Kerr?
    The Galloping Gourmet…..

    • Donation Not Taxation

      That was a while ago. That show ended the same year as The Beverly Hillbillies.

      • YDAK

        What drugs are you on? He was cooking in the 70’s

      • Old Man With Candy

        When he stopped drinking, the show went downhill at light speed.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        The TV show The Galloping Gourmet was only until 1971. The Beverly Hillbillies was 1962-1971.

        He did on air cooking even after the 1970s. Cooking in Concert: Julia Child & Graham Kerr was 1995.

    • Spudalicious

      Gawd I loved that show. He was usually well lit by the end, but damn, he could cook.

      • Ted S.

        So can Yan.

      • Spudalicious

        You cut it up, cut it up, cut it up. See? Isn’t that beautiful.

      • Old Man With Candy

        It’s mahvelous, and you can do this at home!

      • YDAK

        Ghey? I think so, but I was a kid and didn’t know better back then,

      • DrOtto

        Next your going to tell me Charles Nelson Reilly was a gay.

    • Festus

      Oh how my Mother laughed every time he’d cut himself…

      • Lord Digby

        That’s harsh.

    • Chipwooder

      My mom used to watch Graham Kerr, Justin Wilson, Pasquale’s Kitchen Express, and The Frugal Gourmet. This was 80s-90s. Graham Kerr had stopped drinking by then but Pasquale slugged back wine all through the show.

  6. straffinrun

    But what do the American people think?

  7. Old Man With Candy

    Goddammit, I was trashing you in the afternoon thread and this one shows up.

    Christ, what an asshole.

    • Urthona

      Everyone go back and read his stunning endorsement of Rush Limbaugh.

      • Rebel Scum

        Rush Limbaugh

        How is Trump going to one up that? Give the medal of freedom to Ann Coulter? I am thinking on how to increase the troll level but I don’t know if she does any charity/philanthropy.

      • Urthona

        She’s mad at him though because he’s such a softie on immigration.

    • Spudalicious

      It’s like calibrating your palate to Robert Parker. You learn how to read between the lines.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Unlike yours, my palate doesn’t have a layer of alcohol-induced callus from all of the Turley you’ve been drinking.

      • Spudalicious

        No, your palate is just oooolllldddd……

      • Old Man With Candy

        “Experienced.”

      • Spudalicious

        Like Jerry Garcia’s corpse is “experienced”.

      • Tres Cool

        But first, are You Experienced ?

  8. The Hyperbole

    Jeff Smith got caught up in the ‘repressed memories’ bullshit. He was never convicted and the accusations came 20 years after the fact. He was the original #MeToo villain, except he didn’t get to bang wanna be starlets. And while I enjoyed his show and learned many basic cooking techniques from him, his recipes are all kind of ho-hum.

    • leon

      his recipes are all kind of ho-hum.

      Ho?!?

      Did he not learn anything from his experience?

    • Not Adahn

      Paul Prudhomme’s potato soup is amazing.

      The biggest discrepancy between “excellent recipes” and “total POS” I’ve found has got to be Mark Bittman.

      • Sensei

        So much so on Bittman.

    • Spudalicious

      This was early on in my cooking career. It allowed me to branch out and try new things without being too complicated. He’s got a braised lamb with orzo recipe that I could eat several times a week.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Rosengarten. That’s the right answer.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Someone else who remembers Taste! sigh. I got that cookbook recently but haven’t made anything from it. (Also have an FG Mediterranean; ditto.)

      • Spudalicious

        Loved that show.

    • AlmightyJB

      I like his fennel pork chop recipe. Simple but delish.

      • Sean

        I only post pics of my steaks, but I definately enjoy some good pork chops.

  9. Rebel Scum

    Tencent briefly lists 154,023 infections and 24,589 deaths from Wuhan coronavirus

    That’s more than a few percent death rate.

    • Sean

      *Note to self: wash hands more often*

      I’m already a mild germaphobe. This ain’t gonna help.

    • Urthona

      Those are Chinese lives though. I’m not convinced the disease is deadly to Americans yet.

      • YDAK

        #Chineslivesmatter?

      • Urthona

        I think the Chinese government begs to differ.

      • Rhywun

        *snort*

      • Rebel Scum

        So the virus is hungry an hour later?

      • hayeksplosives

        Oh, you’re going to hell for that one.

        Me too, cause I larfed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s well into oh fuck territory.

      • straffinrun

        No kidding. This one is already magnitudes worse than SARS.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The decision to stop flights appears to have been justified.

        I wonder how much our government knew.

      • Sensei

        Good luck straff. You are likely going to be the canary in the coal mine, especially my friends in Kansai.

      • straffinrun

        One of the strengths of this here little island country is hygiene. That oughta help somewhat.

      • Festus

        Styxy is already hoping that we’re all gonna die.

      • hayeksplosives

        At my med appointment today, everyone was getting grilled about whether they’d recently been in China, or had they had casual contact with anyone from China.

        1.5 hours later, when I went to check in at the lab again, they’d updated it to whether theyd been to Asia or in close proximity to anyone who’d been to Asia. And the receptionists were all wearing masks.

        That rattled me a bit.

        What the heck did “they” learn that made this Code Red?!

      • Tulip

        Yikes!

    • Q Continuum

      So instead of SMOD we have SPOD (pandemic)?

    • Spudalicious

      24.

      • Chafed

        Confirmed.

    • DEG

      I look at #33 and for some strange reason I’m reminded of Kat Timpf. It’s Chloe Baldwin, but I’m still reminded of Kat Timpf for some reason.

      • Sean

        Kat is on Kennedy tonight.

      • Festus

        She’s got great gams even though she plasters the make-up on a bit much.

      • Sean

        She’s adorable and fun. Though I’m a fan (as is my gf) of her on the Tyrus & Timpf podcast. It’s a thing we listen to together.

      • Crusty Juggler

        That doesn’t make any sense.

    • Sean

      9 & 10.

      There’s a lot of human & wasp hybrids in that collection.

  10. commodious spittoon

    PAY YOUR FUCKING RENT. What the fuck, people? Three adults living in a house and you can’t come up with $1300 to continue living there? That’s a little more than week of work at minimum wage for each of you. You’d rather be evicted and have to move out two months after moving in?

    • YDAK

      My landlord decided to sell my place out from under me, I haven’t been here 2 months yet, talk about a shitty Lease…

      • hayeksplosives

        Ugh. That happened to me once. Bummer.

      • Lord Digby

        How does that happen? I’ve never seen a lease that allows an owner to sell while a lease is in effect. Right of first refusal, and all…

      • Rhywun

        I got sort of bought out of my last place, but the landlord paid me a nice chunk of change for the privilege & I’m pretty sure I could have refused.

      • Chafed

        Exactly right.

      • Chafed

        I’ve got some questions about that too. The rights from the lease run with land. Unless there is a clause for early termination based on a sale, my guess is this is an illegal attempt to evict.

        Talk to Legal Aid Yusef.

      • Jarflax

        Your lease does not terminate if they sell unless it says it does, but that is not a right of first refusal (which is a right to purchase and comes in several flavors), and a first refusal would be unusual in a residential lease. A new buyer would generally take the property subject to your rights as a tenant. That said many people are renting month to month.

        Disclaimer Ohio license only, general principles, not legal advice etc.

      • Lord Digby

        Huh…both of my former property leases included RoFR, so, I figured it was standard.

      • Chafed

        You’re just special.

      • Jarflax

        What terms? Right to match any offer? Right to buy before offered on the market? Or were you on a Lease Option?

      • Jarflax

        LOL sorry, just curious because this is in my area of practice and anything novel could be of value to clients.

      • Lord Digby

        Right to buy before offered on the market, as I understand.

      • Lord Digby

        TBH, I never gave a shit, because, as I recall, owners couldn’t sell before lease(s) finished, and I never had any intention of buying.

        Also, not sure I was wrong about that intention, 5 years into a mortgage…

      • Jarflax

        It is interesting that they included that term when you did not ask for it. Where was this?

      • CPRM

        I’m working on a squatter’s rights case. In other states it seems to be really quick and easy, but the law here says 20yrs of consecutive occupation without payment. In year 17. (my back-up if family the family agreement that’s let me be here falls through, long story)

      • Lord Digby

        Tejas. I could be wrong, but it was definitely a part of the lease on the house we bought.

      • Jarflax

        Open, notorious, and hostile. If you are there by invitation it doesn’t work 🙂

      • Jarflax

        Texas has odd populist real estate laws. It may be something in State law.

      • CPRM

        Open, notorious, and hostile. If you are there by invitation it doesn’t work

        Depends on who invited you when there is more than one owner to the property, and what constitutes ‘hostile’.

      • Jarflax

        The way adverse possession works is basically that the person with the right to eject you loses their right due to the Statute of Limitations running on the action. So the period does not begin until the owner has knowledge, either actual knowledge, or constructive knowledge (basically they should have known if they paid attention, but it can get complex) and a right to eject you from the property. If there are multiple owners, generally speaking they each have the right to allow you to enter into possession, so if one lets you stay there the other has no right to put you out, which probably defeats an adverse possession claim. Also if your possession is not exclusive (for example if you are living with a relative who has an ownership interest) it also defeats adverse possession.

        I assume this relates to a family dispute? If you are relying on promises my advice would be to get them to put it in writing preferably by adding you to the deed as a Joint Tenant with Right of Survivorship. I have seen siblings that put their life on hold to care for a parent get royally screwed in informal arrangements about who gets the house.

      • CPRM

        Jarflax, I’ll see if that other site where you subscribe to me gives me your e-mail and if so contact you. Not that I think I’m entitled to your labor, but this a case that befuddles everyone on how exactly it all works, and I don’t want to put too much personal stuff on the this fora. If nothing else I can message you through there with my contact info. Thanks.

      • Chafed

        JFC CPRM you need to speak with a lawyer. You are either really close to a good claim you still need to litigate to get good title or you are 17 years into a bad decision. Don’t let this fester.

        Jarflax knows his shit among the living. I’ve seen this shit post-death. Guess how many successful title claims I’ve seen. 0.

        Talk.To.A.Real.Lawyer.Not.The.Internet.

      • Jarflax

        It’s my handle at the do nothing but evil corp.

      • Jarflax

        and my advice is going to involve talking to a Wisconsin lawyer, because I am just a layman in Cheese country. Lawyers outside of their state are what we call random dudes on the internet.

      • Jarflax

        You do Estate work Chafed? MInd if I ask where?

      • Chafed

        California. 90% post death litigation (thank you human nature) and 10% uncontested probate.

    • Rhywun

      Come and knock on our door…

      • YDAK

        I quit unpacking as soon as Wendy got worse, so it wont be too bad, Who am I kidding, it’s totally fucked up!

      • Ted S.

        So you’re saying it’s all just a misunderstanding blown out of proportion?

      • straffinrun

        Jack wasn’t gay?

      • Crusty Juggler

        Three’s Company characters, ranked:

        Mr. Furley
        Larry
        Stan Roper
        Chrissy Snow
        Jack Tripper

      • Festus

        The brunette.

      • Rhywun

        Janet Something.

      • Festus

        Great bum!

      • MikeS

        For a second I thought Janet above Jack, but no, I think you nailed it.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Audra Lindley > Joyce Dewitt.

        Fact.

      • MikeS

        No argument here.

      • Rhywun

        Mrs. Roper was hilarious.

      • Festus

        I’d wager Audra back in the olden days could regale you with tales of the casting couch. She was probably a firecracker, bomber-nose worthy.

      • Crusty Juggler

        MikeS gets it, people.

        MikeS knows.

      • Festus

        Told’ja! Festus knows.

    • straffinrun

      What link is that from?

      • commodious spittoon

        It’s from me having to go serve notice on my brother’s affable but apparently deadbeat renters.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        Too local.

    • Festus

      24 hour party people. Choose tenants wisely (because I used to be like that). Move into a house with a bunch of others and things go to haywire.

      • commodious spittoon

        This couple seems okay. They’ve got young kids, and a middle-age fellow who I assume is one of their dads lives with them. The house and yard is tidy. They’re either lazy or dumb, or both.

      • Festus

        Happens.

      • Chafed

        I’ll take both for the win.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Massive genome study unlocks secrets of how cancers form

    I, too, am working on this issue, particularly of the mammary variety. I take a very hands-on approach.

    (And I am going to hell for that one.)

  12. Festus

    I thought it was pretty cool for the AP style guide to put “Impartial” in scare quotes regarding the Senate impeachment vote. My local rag pulls from them and the Washington Post for all news American. The Editor is a big old lefty shill.

    • Q Continuum

      The process is only legitimate with the Left wins.

      • Festus

        wELL, DUH!

  13. Crusty Juggler

    The Anal Retentive Chef > The Frugal Gourmet imho

    • Don Escaped Texas

      step away from the carrot, sir

      • Festus

        Pretty sure he got #metooed at some point.

      • Festus

        Big fan of “Yan’s Woking”. Pretty sure he got #metooed as well.

      • Lord Digby

        I absolutely cannot believe that no one has, up to this point, not mentioned Justin Wilson.

        You people make me sick. ?????

      • Lord Digby

        And when I say, “not mentioned”, I do mean “mentioned”.

  14. straffinrun

    “Political bias has no place in today’s FBI,” Wray said.

    How exactly did you pull that off, Christopher?

  15. Festus

    Thanks to SF for teaching me a new word today. I haven’t been surprised for some time. Guess I should start following HM links more often…

  16. Old Man With Candy

    @creech, from the last thread, yeah, that summed up my impression. Everything was all about how smart and correct he was about everything, his greatness, his success, his brilliance, and praise for his listeners for being intelligent enough to recognize his greatness and bow down to it. This was interspersed with particularly dull bits of Team Red talking points of the day.

    I won’t rejoice when he snuffs it, but I honestly won’t care much, either.

    • straffinrun

      Not everybody can come up with the idea of paying for ass sex with an environmentalist.

      • Old Man With Candy

        And I admitted to stealing the idea. But Greta instead of Dora.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      He was funny in the 80s.

      Boy did it get bitter after Clinton was elected. That’s okay. Not okay: not being funny any more.

    • YDAK

      He ALWAYS SAID, he was an entertainer, He must have trolled Millions of
      People who actually believed his shtick, and this comes from a long time fan,
      / Rush, the original Troll…/

      • Old Man With Candy

        That’s the problem, it was absolutely not entertaining. Dull, dull, dull.

      • YDAK

        I’m here with you all because of the ideas he put in my head, I may have been ideologically naive at the time, but he inspired me to explore further.
        As time went on he got boring, I agree

    • Crusty Juggler

      HE DID DRUGS THOUGH AND THAT MAKES HIM A HYPOCRITE

      • YDAK

        I forgot about that, i didn’t forget about his USMC charity he’s been helping for the last 35 years, IIRC Trump called in one day and donated millions himself, Very Classy

      • Don Escaped Texas

        NRA Man of the Year

        although he never had owned a gun.

        Tells you all you need to know about the NRA.

      • ruodberht

        Yeah fuck them for funding guns rights suits, they’re not pure enough.

      • MikeS

        Owning a gun is a prerequisite?

      • The Last American Hero

        I’m the biggest 2a supporter I’ve ever met that does not own a gun. I have plenty of items I can use in self defense but no firearms.

      • CPRM

        #metoo

      • Rhywun

        #methree

    • MikeS

      My reply to you from the last thread:

      A grand total (maybe) of 30 minutes to not only form a lifelong opinion of Limbaugh, but his listeners as well. How scientific!

      • Old Man With Candy

        That was all I could take. Look, I sat through two fucking hours of Jaws, and I swore I’d never do anything like that again.

      • The Last American Hero

        The third one is much better and in 3D. You should give it a shot.

      • Lord Digby

        QFT–and, don’t forget it has Dennis Quaid, dammit!

      • Rhywun

        Shirtless.

        Or so I’ve heard.

    • Naptown Bill

      I don’t feel any particular kind of way about Limbaugh or his receiving an MoF, but I will concede that, for better or for worse, he essentially started talk radio as we know it today, and you wouldn’t have the variety and kind of punditry that exists in 2020 without Limbaugh doing his thing. I don’t know if that’s something for the POTUS to reward or not, but I think he’s a significant and impactful figure in politics and media whether you like the guy or not. Whether his impact is a net good is certainly debatable, but anecdotally I know more than a few people whose exposure to alternative political viewpoints in, say, the 80s and especially 90s are due largely to encountering Rush Limbaugh. And not all of those people were pulled into the conservative sphere, either.

      • Naptown Bill

        *I should specify _political_ talk radio

      • Old Man With Candy

        talk radio as we know it today

        Not high praise.

      • Naptown Bill

        Sure, famous like Typhoid Mary, but still.

  17. Rebel Scum

    If victory is not in reach you must impeach.

    During a press conference on Wednesday, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said that it is “conclusive” President Trump committed high crimes and misdemeanors “And if the president does it in three months, they should impeach him again.”

    Schumer responded to a question on whether the Senate’s acquittal vote would “put impeachment to bed” by stating, “Look, this idea, we have too many impeachments, too few impeachments, the standard should not be how many or what’s politically right or wrong. The standard should be, did the president commit high crimes and misdemeanors? I think it’s conclusive that the president did. And if the president does it in three months, they should impeach him again. And if the next president does it, they should impeach him or her.”

    • kbolino

      Forget the next President, whatever happened to the last one? None of this “we’d apply the same standards to a Democrat” is believable when there is an extremely recent example of them not doing just that. Schiff, Nadler, Schumer, and Pelosi have all been in Congress long enough to have records under multiple Presidents. There was nothing but crickets when Obama did all sorts of shady shit, up to and including basically saying “if Congress won’t act, I will” and sending crates of foreign money to a government that sponsors terrorists without Congressional approval, never mind the Senate ratifying a treaty.

      • creech

        Didn’t the GOP control the House for some time during Obama’s term? They could have impeached him over several issues but chose not to.

      • kbolino

        Sure, but the claim is that the Democrats would hold a Democrat to the same standards. They already didn’t.

      • Viking1865

        The Republicans really do play by the “rules of Washington”. Bush tortured an American citizen, so they never dreamed of calling Obama to account for drone murdering one, because they recognized that would be utterly bullshit hypocrisy.

        I mean, Biden is on tape, at a public event, speaking to a huge group of official Washington people, bragging about how he used the threat for holding back foreign aid to Ukraine in order to quash an investigation into corruption.

        Using foreign aid to stop an investigation into corruption is just enlightened policy, but using foreign aid to start one is THE END OF DEMOCRACY AND THE CONSTITUTION.

      • straffinrun

        When you have McCain out there as your point man, it’s kind of hard for the Repubs to impeach Obama for dumping those crates of cash.

    • Festus

      Hillary will just not let this go.

  18. Crusty Juggler

    Is anyone else enjoying the descriptions of Harvey Weinstein’s hilarious genitalia?

    • YDAK

      “looked liked it was stitched back on”
      LOL

    • Sean

      Nope, though he certainly seemed proud of his junk.

    • Festus

      No. I think it’s ugly.

    • Urthona

      as a rule, I only read descriptions of genitalia that are in haiku form.

      • Festus

        Well you’re in luck, Son.

      • Lord Digby

        Same, Urthona, but my choice is limericks.

        A bit easier to find, and, less high-falutin’

        /no, not ‘high flutin’…

  19. Crusty Juggler

    Upstate judge crashes car after wild vodka bender, threatens cops\

    arting at 9 a.m. on March 19, 2018, Miranda engaged in some hair of the dog, polishing off four vodka and seltzers at the airport while waiting to board his 11 a.m. flight to Albany, the commission said.

    On the plane, the judge kept the party going, downing at least four more vodka cocktails — and lining his stomach with just one bag of peanuts.

    After his flight touched down, Miranda got behind the wheel of his 2013 Subaru Outback, which bears a license plate indicating that he is a judge.

    He then set off on a 70-mile trip to Shandaken, stopping to swig from a vodka bottle along the way, the commission said.

    Upon arriving at Shandaken at about 5:30 pm, Miranda plowed his Subaru into two stop signs and two benches, causing more than $6,700 worth of damage to the vehicle but causing no injuries.

    State troopers arrived at the scene and the glassy-eyed judge told them he only had two drinks — but he ended up failing three sobriety tests, the commission said.

    During the arrest, Miranda threatened the troopers that he would “never again” hold arraignments for the State Police in his court, according to the commission.

    Legend.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      but did anyone read him his rights?

      • YDAK

        What you did was seen………

    • YDAK

      “During the arrest, Miranda threatened the troopers that he would “never again” hold arraignments for the State Police in his court,”
      In a real world he would be right, out of his Job

    • Tres Cool

      “Miranda declined to comment.”

      Seems he finally sobered up.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      I’ve never heard of judicial license plates. This is a good idea?

      • Crusty Juggler

        UROUTOFODR

      • Crusty Juggler

        ISTRENSYOBJ

      • Crusty Juggler

        WAPNRFAN

      • Crusty Juggler

        JDGJUEHE

      • Crusty Juggler

        ITORULES

      • MikeS

        GAVLRDZ

      • Rebel Scum

        IOBJECT

      • Spudalicious

        BRRRPPPP

      • Crusty Juggler

        you win.

      • Lord Digby

        I was gonna suggest MENSREA, but, who’d believe that from a judge.

        Also, maybe a urologist plate…?

      • Rhywun

        ASSMAN

  20. straffinrun

    Do people actually care about when this person or that person stood and/or clapped during the SoTU address? Go on FB and people are cheering or booing about this or that microagression that occurred during the speech. Everybody be triggered. OMG, she tore some paper. It was a childish move, but my Repub friends are acting like she tore up the cure for cancer.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How do you know it wasn’t the cure for cancer?

      • straffinrun

        Because Pelosi would’ve stolen it and went with her favorite go to: Market Capture.

    • Q Continuum

      Partisanship turns people into retards.

    • Urthona

      I love it. Especially the cheering game where you try to get the other party not to cheer for obvious good things. Hilarious to me.

      • straffinrun

        Entertainment purposes, absolutely. Taking it seriously is another story.

    • Jarflax

      No, they care that they have been mocked and vilified by scum that are repeatedly trying to cement permanent power in this country. The paper tearing is just a convenient excuse to rant about it. They don’t care that they aren’t being evenhanded or fair. Why would they? The other side will never reciprocate, so all fairness does is ensure that they lose. Fighting back against pettiness and spin with mockery and derision has worked for Trump and I hope it continues. We are not getting back to civil discourse, if we ever had it, because the country is just too big and too diverse for real common ground.

      • straffinrun

        We relied on not violating certain unspoken/written rules for decades. It’s like farting in an elevator, there are no laws against it but if that started helping you win elections where scads of cash power are hanging in the balance, people will start letting them rip. The system relied on people not doing idiotic things like willy nilly impeaching the president. Now? That ship has sailed. #Resist. Justifies any an all behavior that isn’t expressly illegal and some that is.

      • Q Continuum

        See also: Alinsky, Saul.

    • commodious spittoon

      It wasn’t the cure for cancer, it was the Iowa caucus results.

      #thetruthisoutthere

    • Chafed

      I’ll be the outlier. Yes, I care. This is hardly earth shattering stuff so take it for what it is.

      I care that the president, whoever it is, conducts himself in a respectful way. Acting like a buffoon degrades the office. I want the office to much less powerful but not degraded through childish behavior. I care the speaker of the house conducts herself in a respectful way. Acting like a toddler degrades the office. The speaker of the house is third in line for the presidency. Showing just a hint of grace and decorum would be really helpful in the event that person ever has to do something that isn’t entirely partisan.

      The idiots of Facebook, Twitter, etc are another discussion. Finding offense in everything means… nothing. I don’t want to enter the troll wars. I would like public officials to at least give the pretense they are trying to rise to the level of their office.

      • straffinrun

        One thing I really like about classical liberals and their cousins is that, while not advocating for anarchy, they will say that government is a necessary evil. You don’t need to venerate a necessary evil. You keep an extra close eye on it and view it with disgust as you tolerate it.

      • Naptown Bill

        It would be easier to talk about ideas if we weren’t distracted by hijinks. This is likely by design.

    • Rebel Scum

      There is more wrong that her being hairy.

      Incidentally, is she a child of one of STEVE SMITH’s woodland adventures?

    • Rhywun

      Stunning and brave.

    • straffinrun

      Look at me! I can grow hair. It’s fun watching new generations discover this ability.

    • mindyourbusiness

      I dunno. Maybe there are people out there who get off rubbing shins with a bear.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Like your father?

    • Naptown Bill

      I don’t know, I mean, live your best life and all, but does this mean she’s all cised for dudes with inch-long nose hair, hair in their ears, and eyebrows like J.R.R Tolkein? I mean, unkempt is natural, but so is farting loudly whenever you feel like it and relieving yourself in mid-stride. I like to think we strive for better.

      • Rhywun

        Post-modern, anti-human-nature bullshit. Men and women have been preening for each other for thousands of generations, and it’s often more edgy than “shaving”. You want to drop out of that? Fine, knock yourself out. Don’t complain that it only attracts weirdoes.

      • Tulip

        She’s not complaining it attracts weirdos. She’s complaining about assholes with nothing better to do than tell her she’s gross and disgusting. Don’t like it? Just move along. No need to send hate mail.

      • Q Continuum

        Agreed that someone has to be a huge loser to go out his way to send hate mail, but she is definitely pulling a “look at meeeee! I’m stunning and brave!” When you cry for attention, you don’t always get to control what kind of attention you get.

      • Rhywun

        She’s not complaining it attracts weirdos.

        My bad, I didn’t mean to imply that she was doing that now. Only that she probably will.

      • Rhywun

        PS. Obviously, I didn’t RTFA 🙂

      • straffinrun

        Hehe. That’s a great point.

  21. mikey

    Dropped by Huffpo as I do on occasion. It’s all Romney. He’s found love after all.

    • Urthona

      Samuel L Jackson definitely needs to ask Rock to join the Avengers.

      • Festus

        Won’t even need a suit! Win-win!

    • Naptown Bill

      I’m not going to pre-shit on this movie, but Saw isn’t old enough for a “reboot”. Besides, why not just, I don’t know, make a new movie that has nothing to do with Saw?

      • Spudalicious

        Original creativity? I can’t even…

      • Crusty Juggler

        Do you consider what Quentin Tarantino does to be original creativity?

        Discuss!

      • Q Continuum

        More original than another Marvel movie, less original than Harmony Korine.

    • Florida Man

      I liked saw 1 & 2. They got progressively worse after that. Especially the one that was about free universal healthcare.

      • Festus

        The “school choice” one was to die for!

      • Florida Man

        I remember 6 was the healthcare one, which was school choice? Unless you’re pulling my lariat.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That was a Billy Clinton favorite.

    • Festus

      So he must be a “Brother-Husband”…

    • Tulip

      I’m confused

    • YDAK

      The Beer made from Idaho Potatoes?
      OOOOH sPUD!

    • Spudalicious

      Sorry ’bout that.

    • Festus

      When she starts ripping phone books in half I’m going to be all Yas Qween! What a fucking joke!

    • Rebel Scum

      Best timeline.

    • straffinrun

      Ha! I called it yesterday.

    • Rebel Scum

      I just use what Honda recommends.

    • YDAK

      Synthetic oil? Petroleum oils are synthesized,
      Olive oil is not,
      so what the fuck does that term mean?

    • Florida Man

      I use synthetic and only change my oil every 10k miles.

    • Festus

      Twenty years ago I would have been all over that. I think that she is breathtakingly beautiful. Nowadays it’s more like “Did you feed the cats?”

      • dontreadonme

        Four years ago I lived with that. Now I can say I have learned about the mysteries of the hot-crazy matrix and can rise above. Well, for now anyway.

  22. Crusty Juggler

    Poor Suzanne Somers posing nude to pay for her son’s medical bills Suzanne Somers > Chrissy Snow Suzanne Somers > Step by Step Suzanne Somers > thighmaster Suzanne Somers > modern day plastic surgery Suzanne Somers > any incarnation of Jenny McCarthy.

    The fans of both “Three’s Company” and “Singled Out” – you are out there!!!!! – will understand.

    • Tres Cool

      She can Come And Knock On My Door…..

      • Festus

        Already stated above. Was a Janet fan.

      • YDAK

        Yes

      • Crusty Juggler

        Understood.

        Kaplan fucked.

      • Festus

        Mistah Kottah!

    • Chipwooder

      Jenny McCarthy, when she first made Playmate and was like 20, was stunning.

    • Festus

      It seems like they want to lose and purge. The first Step is to realize that you have no control.

    • hayeksplosives

      I was saying to my husband today that I had first gotten politically involved in 2000 due to the recount fiasco. I found right wing radio so that I could hear something to balance the lefty national coverage.

      I couldn’t believe what was happening to my country.

      And it’s still getting worse, but at least now we have he internet to connect us to others who reaffirm our sanity by sharing at least significantly overlapping views.

    • Festus

      Ever been to a peeler bar and the smorg is offered? Ever watched pigs snuffle down lunch in the front row when the ladies are dancing? So-cons have a point when you see stuff like that.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Flyover country is terrifying.

      • Jarflax

        Eating at a strip bar is not a thing I have done, nor is it one I will do.

      • Lord Digby

        Do any of you even Swanson?

      • l0b0t

        Meh… Rick’s Cabaret in NOLA’s French Quarter, has some of the best Buffalo wings I’ve ever tasted. The dancers were all my graveyard shift customers and they would let us know when it was gonna be wing day. When one is observing the dynamic of a gentleman’s club as an acquaintance of the employees, it is absolutely fascinating watching these ladies separate drunks from their money.

    • Chafed

      Seems like we are only getting part of the story. It sounds like there someone/some people lied to the strippers. Fraud is fraud.

      • Tres Cool

        Well…I agree.
        Caveat Emptor.

  23. kbolino

    I was reading the Wikipedia article about Reagan’s governship (which is brief and seems mostly about shoehorning criticism of him in there, but it’s Wikipedia so no surprise). And there was a poorly inserted reference to Reagan calling the leaders of Tanzania monkeys, which led to this article in The Atlantic. I was a bit surprised as, unlike Nixon, Reagan was not exactly known for being racist. Now, it seems he really did say that, and it is rather grotesque and undeniably racist. But I was struck by how, in an article about Nixon and Reagan’s documented racism, there were repeated and utterly irrelevant references to Trump. Even when writing about a potentially important (if purely historical) topic, they just can’t fucking help themselves.

    Also, the whole thing is a bit ironic. I wonder, did Reagan consider Nixon a monkey when the latter sold Taiwan down the river a couple years later?

    • YDAK

      It wasn’t that bad to say that then, very few people were concerned about saying racist crap,
      i was there,

      • Festus

        It was rude and not said in proper company, a far cry from something that would get you lynched today. I said “nigger” in front of my Mother once. Once.

      • YDAK

        Mom and Dad were hip to the Black folks, Dad was in ‘nam so…
        Older folks like my Gramps, hmmmmmm, pretty racist, so i heard it often…

      • Rhywun

        It was so long ago I can’t judge because I was only 2 years old. I’m sure it was bad even by the standard of the day.

        But to drag that into 2019 is tiresome AF every time.

      • kbolino

        Well, apparently “sold down the river” is a reference to slavery, so I’ll be in those camps right with everyone else.

      • YDAK

        I always thought that’s were you could buy Beer,

      • Festus

        You’d be better off never “Calling a spade a spade” then.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        “sold down the river” is useful, its roots (pardon the pun) in slavery notwithstanding; there’s nothing inherently racist about using it.

        The question is not about freedom: it’s legal to say it and illegal for a government to try to stop you from saying it.

        The question is about taste. Some people will tell you that any analogy is okay, that even extreme reaches are okay, a poetic license extending as far as the mind might travel. Others would question whether slavery, lynching, genocide, and the like should be used to characterize a hang-nail or a speeding ticket. My experience is that the application of taste anymore boils down to an exercise in identity politics.

        As for me, I live in That River and am almost never offended by any words or usage. But, like Justice Stewart, I know when someone is making a stretch, is telling a joke, or is just a workaday asshole. Same as the Stars and Bars for me: no matter the rest or norms of culture, I don’t assume someone is trying to hurt anyone’s feelings when they fly it.

      • Festus

        That’s half of the problem. You know when you’re stretching the bounds but someone else is more than ready to pop your linguistic balloon. That’s when you end up with egg on your face. It’s unfair because the rules keep shifting. It’s the idea of hate speech, writ small.

    • Festus

      I like JP. He’s a bit much but what he preaches is what I’d tell my kids if I ever bothered to have any.

      • YDAK

        Shapiro is annoying, but his message was quite funny

      • Jarflax

        Peterson is a genuine intellectual and has interesting things to say that while they may overlap with Conservative viewpoints, and are decidedly opposed to post modernism, neo marxism, and the various other isms of the left, are not at all in lockstep with the right. Shapiro is a straight political pundit from the right.

      • Festus

        Agreed.

      • Naptown Bill

        I’ve been browsing podcasts and, man, it’s a desert. Shapiro isn’t as annoying as Levin, but talk about damning with faint praise. So far I’ve got to say Rubin is the best of the bunch. I’ve also got a week spot for Rogan. I part ways with him often but at least he’s willing to interview anyone and doesn’t seem to have an agenda.

      • Festus

        It’s been three years. November is soon enough.

      • CPRM

        I don’t do much listening to podcasts right now, but I loved Andrew Heaton’s last one. Haven’t listened to the new one. But I mean, the guy knows how to pull a prank.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Ben Shapiro WALKS into his local STARBUCKS and WITNESSES a LIBTARD CUCK.The LIBTARD says:

        “oh boy this coffee smells nice.”

        Ben REPLIES:

        “that’s literally IMPOSSIBLE, coffee CAN’T SMELL. It doesn’t have A NOSE, therefore it can’t SMELL.”

        while the TRIGGERED LIBTARD SNOWFLAKE CUCK MACHINE walks away, Ben gets CALLED up to ORDER.

        “What’s would you like?”

        ” I would LOVE a nice CUP of BLACK COFFEE WITH NO CREAM OR SUGAR please. ”

        “What’s your name?”

        ” it’s BEN. ”

        “okay thanks.”

        Ben sits DOWN at the TABLE and a FEW minutes LATER he gets CALLED to the COUNTER.

        “Here you go enjoy your coffee.”

        ” I HATE when a LIBTARD CUCK SNOWFLAKE, tells me what to DO. ”

        He then stared into her eyes and sips his STRONG, BLACK, COFFEE with NO CREAM or SUGAR.

        she CREAMS in her PANTIES and SAYS “FACTS and LOGIC”

        And then DENNIS PRAGER walked in and GAVE BEN A CUCK DESTROYING trophy

        BEN unzips his PANTS to expose his CIRCUMCISED PENIS and BEGINS to MASTURBATE in PUBLIC and THE curtains CLOSE. (SWJs owned compilation, not clickbait)

      • Q Continuum

        pwned by facts and logic

  24. Heroic Mulatto
    • Q Continuum

      Waste of perfectly good coffee.

      • Jarflax

        I’d think you would approve of using coffee to thaw some frigid young pussy?

    • Florida Man

      Whatever happened to putting them in burlap sacks and throwing them in the river? Freakin millennials don’t know how to do anything.

      • Festus

        Well, burlap is eco-friendly.

    • Festus

      I know that it makes no sense but if I caught someone doing shit to an animal it has always resulted in super saiyen to me. People, not so much.

      • Lord Digby

        super saiyen to me

        Whoa!! Festus gettin’ all Vegeta over here!

      • Festus

        My Dad’s step-kids were all about that stuff. I have no idea except that meant getting really pissed off to no measurable form. I mean the guys would freak out but there was never an accompanying fart.

  25. Homple

    Schmalz, Malz, Schwanz, Herz, Harz, März

    USW.

    • Festus

      Que?

      • Homple

        Referring to a previous discussion about whether there were German words ending in “z”. There being, for some reason, no way to reply there.

      • Rhywun

        I had a brain-fart and another Glib has stepped up to point it out to me 🙂

    • Rhywun

      In my defense, I had vowel + z in mind. But yes, I was wrong. It does happen on occasion.

      • Homple

        Yes, a vowel does require a “t”, but no defense needed. Please don’t think of it as an attack. I just like the language.

      • Rhywun

        Ha not at all. Sarc tag implied above.

      • Ted S.

        Reiz? Beiz?

      • Homple

        Yes.

      • Rhywun
      • Rhywun
      • Rhywun

        Noch ein Herz

      • YDAK

        All Commenten ein Deuscthe?
        or something like that…
        Wow, pretty bland music, not bad at all, just, meh

      • Rhywun

        The 80s tracks I posted were big hits when I lived in Deutschland.

        +1 nostalgia

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Ich lieb’ dich nicht / Du liebst mich nicht!

      • Rhywun

        da da da!

    • commodious spittoon

      Ich kann dich nicht verstehen.

      • YDAK

        Oust en kissen,

      • Festus

        Ich bin der chrome dinette!

    • whiz

      Ich bin ein Berliner.

      That’s all the German I know.

      • YDAK

        I can sing about Half of the Song I posted above, but once I get tripped up,
        Fail, and i know what they are in English, more practice for no payoff? pass

      • creech

        You’re a jelly doughnut?

      • YDAK

        I’m a spark plug shaped Cactus,,,

      • CPRM

        I put that joke into a children’s play I wrote once. They didn’t get the reference, but they still thought it was funny.

      • Lord Digby

        Eddie Izzard put that joke in an hour-long routine, and got an Emmy out of it.

        Just sayin’…

  26. DenverJ

    Since I’m first, I feel a responsibility to say something profound… so:
    A good farmer is a man outstanding in his field.

    • Mojeaux, Gilmore v2

      How’d your Broncos Superbowl victory parade go today?

    • YDAK

      Those who can, do,
      those who can’t, teach,

      • CPRM

        Those who can’t teach, teach gym?

      • YDAK

        +1 History teachers in high school….

      • CPRM

        My gym teacher taught ‘Earth History’. Low level geology. At least I know one guy he was friends with was a rock collector. I’m sure that was the extent of his exposure.

      • YDAK

        Geology Rocks!,
        Maybe he could have taught Music as well?

      • l0b0t

        HA! 11th grade American History, our teacher was a landscaper with a degree in sports medicine or coaching or something or other who had been hired to fill a sudden vacancy. Class consisted of me recording Tour Of Duty, watching the tape in class and discussing the war in Indo-China while Mr. Bennett read his latest Sporting Life or Sports Illustrated. The only exception was the week he underwent his observation by the department chair. We were ordered to bring our textbooks every day that week; we outlined the chapters, then memorized the State capitals… in 11th grade US History.

      • Festus

        Somewhat. Some folks can and do and teach because it’s cool to learn the youngins some skills. Most teachers are nice folk, just like you or I and want the best for their students. Many teachers are cuntes sucking from the government’s teat.

      • YDAK

        It’s a very old Tradesman term, as in, I’m too worn to do it, but I love teaching it,
        HVAC

    • mindyourbusiness

      Mr. Servator…Mr. Servator to the white phone…

  27. YDAK

    You know that call you get at 9pm, from the Hospital your Wife is at?
    It was an authorization call for a procedure, but Jeez, now I’m shaking from just seeing the area code come up….

    • Festus

      Nope. Just think, twenty short years ago you’d be getting the bad news via mail… Buck up!

      • YDAK

        Um, no, I would have had to Drive 2 hours to Vegas and sign papers, this way, I consent, and a witness, all on the phone,
        At least it’s not a Bad call,

      • Festus

        Not a “bad” call is good, though? Right? If something happened to my Judi it would gut me. I’ve forgotten how to take care of my fucking self. If she went away I’d be done.

      • YDAK

        Exactly, so when I see the number, it’s usually not good, and since she’s still bad off, and I get sick to my stomach, nervous and anxious all at once, Good Times….

      • Festus

        For me it’s more like “Bills? What are these things? Bank statements? Are you kidding me?” Oh yeah, if she stopped we’d starve.

      • Festus

        For me it’s more like “Bills? What are these things? Bank statements? Are you kidding me?” Oh yeah, if she stopped we’d starve.

      • YDAK

        Wendy is a bit more than a bill,

      • Festus

        Not my meaning, Bob.

      • Chafed

        Digby has room for you at his place.

      • Lord Digby

        Hey-hey-hey-whoa-whoa! Hold on there, partner… I definitely do NOT have room.

        Now, I’m up for getting some new digs that DO have the room…

      • Chafed

        Nonsense. Everything is bigger in Texas.

      • Plinker762

        Digby’s Digs?

      • Chafed

        You mean Southfork?

      • Lord Digby

        Everything is bigger in Texas.

        Yeah, and everyone’s armed, too.

        Also, Since I’m now a double Lord, I guess that whole home = castle thing is finally correct.

        /still don’t have the room

      • Jarflax

        I demoted you to Socman last night! Your socage shall henceforth include an obligation of hospitality toward Glibs! In return you shall have rights to pasture 2 goats, 1 cow or 6 geese on the common. If you choose geese, the common shall be in Swiss’ back yard.

      • Lord Digby

        If you choose geese, the common shall be in Swiss’ back yard.

        OK–if I was pissed before about my slovenly linkage, missing this makes me even more so.

        Kudos, Jar. And, I think you managed to miss both a cat-assing AND a narrowed gaze. Impressive!

    • hayeksplosives

      Yusef, you might consider asking your own doctor about Doxepin. It is taken at bedtime to treat both insomnia and anxiety, which come hand-in-hand so often.

      My husband uses it, and I have “borrowed” one from him on occasion.

      You need mental and physical rest, and this or something like it could be a help.

      • YDAK

        Love the thoughts, but, i’m still close to the edge, and don’t have time to relax, til I’m Censusing, I am Golfing a lot though, there is peace in flight….

      • YDAK

        I have no doctor, or insurance, and don’t qualify for anything, I also have a few lumps that appeared I can’t do anything about, so,
        i’ll keep on..

    • CPRM

      Socialism man, it’s just about being social. Quit with your right wing bigotry.

    • Festus

      That was horrific and now I’m going to go eat some chicken and try not to think about that. Thanks Straff!

      • straffinrun

        It’s a tough world out there. The odds are in your favor, however.

    • Chafed

      What sort of punishment is he facing?

      • Jarflax

        Japan still has hangings.

      • Chafed

        Is that the possible penalty here or are more like an urban myth at this point?

      • straffinrun

        My bet is he’ll hang eventually. He planned out the whole thing.

      • Chafed

        He appears as guilty as sin. However, Carlos Ghosn’s recent experience with Japan’s justice system makes me question its fairness.

      • Jarflax

        They have supposedly had an upsurge in capital punishment over recent years. I think it is a real thing, but rare due to low crime rates. I believe they executed the sarin gas attackers.

      • straffinrun

        Shoko Asahara, The Charlie Manson in charge of Aum Shinrikyo, was hung for the Sarin attacks in 2018. Yea, they still do hangings. The prisoner doesn’t even know the exact date. It’s mental torture to do that and they should stop.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And notify the family of the executed prisoner after it’s been carried out to basically pick up the remains.

      • Festus

        Very un-glib of me but I think that some should be hung.

      • Chipwooder

        Curtains are hung, people are hanged.

        /pedant

      • Lord Digby

        ^Asian guy^

      • Jarflax

        *looks down

        You are incorrect Sir.

      • Chafed

        *mic drip*

      • Chafed

        Damn it. Drip = drop.

      • Lord Digby

        Oooh, tough landing, there, Jonesy…

      • CPRM

        *mic drip*

        is the funnier joke here.

      • Jarflax

        *mic drip*

        is the funnier joke here.

        NO DRIPS thank you very much!

      • Lord Digby

        Absolutely. But, I’m trying not to rag on my friend the attorney.

        ::sigh:: Fine; “my friend, the attorney”…

      • Homple

        “And they was right”
        …Sheriff Bart

      • Lord Digby

        “It is wrong to take care of those with serious mental disabilities.”

        “I’m Sowwy.”

        ::rolls eyes::
        “Yeah; me, too.”
        ::pulls the trap-door lever::

        And, that’s how you take care of people with THAT kind of serious mental disability.

        /Lone Star-style

      • Rhywun

        I think capital punishment is wrong but it’s probably not in my top 10 list of concerns.

      • Jarflax

        I think it is ok, and likewise, not in my top 10.

      • Lord Digby

        That was a quote from the murder! I mean, talk about being careful what you “wish” for…

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m on the fence. I think some crimes and some people absolutely deserve it. I also think that societies that have abolished the death penalty have problems directly and indirectly stemming from lack of a death penalty for certain crimes. And I don’t trust government to get it right every time. I know there have been innocent people executed.

      • CPRM

        I think that it is ok, with certain cases. But my idea on that clashes with idea of ‘criminally insanity’. If your only defense is that you are too crazy to not kill, then the whole idea of recidivism and reform is out the door. Carl may not have been within his right to kill Lenny, but the state surely would have been. (given following proper procedure and due process of course.)

      • Lord Digby

        Carl may not have been within his right to kill Lenny

        Oh, so, in your world, it’s the black guy killing the white yellow guy, huh?

      • CPRM

        Of Mice and Moe’s.

  28. UnCivilServant

    Well, overnight Glibs, it looks like the next part of Banker of Stirnberg drops later today, but there’s severalwork meetings that will interrupt my ability to be there 🙁

    • Chafed

      You’re up late. Insomnia?

      • UnCivilServant

        A side effect. I fell asleep around 4:30-5 or so. Eight hours later and ta-da, I’m awake at 1am.

      • Chafed

        HS can pass you off to Dr. Nick if you need a prescription. See upthread.

      • Lord Digby

        The real question: Can she pass as Dr. Nick?

        /Hollywood Upstairs Medical College

    • Lord Digby

      Yep; on my YT viewing list.
      Go away now….

    • CPRM

      I had an idea to do a ‘drunk politics’ show on youtube before even RLM did ‘Half in the Bag’, but couldn’t find anyone to participate. I’m a fucking pioneer!

  29. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Well, I’m in Vegas interacting with Chinese nationals, so I’m going to die a horrible death from Mexican beer influenza or something like that.

    Or I’m just drunk.

    Pray for me.

    • Jarflax

      Are these Chinese nationals middle aged women playing cut throat poker or blackjack with a stack of chips that I could live on for a year while their husband is off somewhere, probably with a hooker?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nah, they’re selling cheap Chinese equipment to contractors.

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t fall for that scam.

      • Jarflax

        Too bad, watching a Chinese woman play cards is an education.

      • Lord Digby

        I’m thinking that you could drop “cards” from that observation, and it would still be accurate.

        ?

    • straffinrun

      Stay away from the pai gow.

      • Lord Digby

        Dammit; no Minoriteam clip of the “Pai Gow fever” episode!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Heh, a Filipino taught me how to play that in Costa Rica decades ago.

        Christ, I’m old.

    • Lord Digby

      <blockquotBr. Maynardme

      Maybe a homily will do?

      Let’s get Br. Maynard on it right now.

      • Lord Digby

        WTF is happening to my links?? I’m using the Monocle link button; copying and pasting…

        Anyway, fucking MP Holy Grail joke, but not a prayer.

      • Chafed

        Mic drip. Just saying.

      • Lord Digby

        ::hangs head::

        Yes, sir.

        /is my head hanged, or, hung? Hunged?

        //CPRM, do I ask Tom Jane about that?

      • Chafed

        Why not ask me?

        /Ron Jeremy

    • grrizzly

      I was flying out of LAX on Tuesday. Suddenly on the way to a security check, a group of Chinese travelers got in front of me. To my relief, I noticed they had Taiwanese passports.

      • straffinrun

        They have a ton of new cases there, too. China wouldn’t let the Taiwanese leave quarantined Chinese cities even when they were allowing other nationalities to be evacuated. They’re Chinese, after all.

      • UnCivilServant

        What are Chinese from Taiwan doing in rebel held-territory?

      • straffinrun

        You got that backwards. Unless you want the Chicoms to hack your computer.

      • UnCivilServant

        The Communist insurgency will eventually be crushed.

      • straffinrun

        Seriously, that comment is probably the riskiest one at Glibs this year.

      • UnCivilServant

        They’ve got bigger problems than random internet comments outside their zone of control.

      • straffinrun

        Probably, but imagine an entire government run by Preets.

      • UnCivilServant

        All the more reason not to let them dictate terms of discourse.

      • UnCivilServant

        You mean they’re not fans of the rapper?

      • Gustave Lytton

        No, those guys are in da club.

      • Jarflax

        The former Wang Jingwei regime in your neck of the woods.

      • grrizzly

        I’m only concerned if the travel disruptions affect Japan as I’m flying there next week. I’m already resigned to see flight attendants in face masks.

      • straffinrun

        It’s gonna get worse. I’d bet on that. Shinjuku station even stopped making announcements in Chinese. Can never be too safe.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Japan has been one of the least restrictive (so far) of Asian countries to Chinese travelers.

      • straffinrun

        Interesting.

      • grrizzly

        Fortunately, my local language skills could only help me confirm that I was on the right train in Shinjuku. The audio announcements didn’t even register.

      • straffinrun

        I was kidding. They still have the British Chick making the announcements, too.2

      • grrizzly

        I could read enough Japanese to confirm i was on the right way, I never understood any spoken Japanese or Chinese.

      • straffinrun

        How dare you?! I had a much better visualization of that lady.

      • Gustave Lytton

        ごめなさい。

  30. UnCivilServant

    “I couldn’t get into the amphitheater without Husil. Naturally, that meant I waited by the wrong door until one of his bodyguards came looking for us.” – Dug FitzHelen von Zesrin, On Unjnown Shores

    • UnCivilServant

      ugh, I can’t type today.

    • Jarflax

      Typos in the title are bad.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s a working title. It can change by the time it goes to print.

      • Lord Digby

        Between a title typo, and my for-shit linking, I’d say Bill Gates is starting making his move.

        /OK, not starting-starting..

  31. Jarflax

    Ok, I have tortured tomorrow self enough by staying up. Night all.

    • Lord Digby

      Oh, of course you couldn’t make it be on Saturday night…

      • hayeksplosives

        Well, we wouldn’t want people commenting at each other through cell phones on the Sat Night Shift while they’re sitting in the same rom at your leggier, now would we?

      • Lord Digby

        We wouldn’t??

      • Lord Digby

        Also–how do you know I have rather long legs? I may be 6’4″-6’5″, but….well, it could all be in my torso.

        Or, cranium.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nah, it’s all femur.

      • Lord Digby

        Akshually, it is sorta 50/50 between torso and legs.

        Of course, that could be said about other anatomy topics…

  32. Gustave Lytton

    And speaking of anti-Chinese hostility. This was the author of The Saint series:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leslie_Charteris

    Charteris relocated to the United States in 1932, where he continued to publish short stories and also became a writer for Paramount Pictures, working on the George Raft film, Midnight Club.[4][page needed]

    However, Charteris was excluded from permanent residency in the United States because of the Chinese Exclusion Act, a law which prohibited immigration for persons of “50% or greater” Oriental blood. As a result, Charteris was forced to continually renew his six-month temporary visitor’s visa. Eventually, an act of Congress personally granted his daughter and him the right of permanent residence in the United States, with eligibility for naturalization, which he later completed.

    • hayeksplosives

      I believe we can safely say we have 4 more years of OrangemanBaf.

      I just wish Rand were his Veep.

      • Lord Digby

        ^THIS^

        We don’t live in the best timeline. But, we do OK.

  33. Lord Digby

    Oooh! Take note, glibs–as of this posting, the San Diego PD internet is back up and running.

    Good on them. I guess.

    • UnCivilServant

      Why would that make a difference? Are you wanted in San Diego?

      • Lord Digby

        Depends on who has a situation with SDPD, and, what that situation is. I don’t, as I’ve never been to CA.

      • Lord Digby

        I imagine it makes a difference to the employees there, as they most likely didn’t have access to needed databases without it (depending on how those databases are accessed).

        Otherwise, I have no idea why it was a necessary for that info to be broadcast to all LE agencies across the US–which it was.

      • UnCivilServant

        Because, they’re the most important PD in the nation, and everyone needs to know.

        Or they’re the kind to reply all to an all mail users message.

  34. UnCivilServant

    Welp, gotta go commute to work in what is alternatively described as “freezing rain” and “Wintery mix”. Fun.

    • Gender Traitor

      Yup. “Freezing drizzle” predicted here, with snow to come later, but nothing showing on the radar at the moment.

      Got a weekend getaway planned at the nearby state park lodge tomorrow. Oh, well – at least the lodge is pleasant and cozy, and the food is good.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s amazing how a little inclement weather makes people forget how to drive.

      • JD is Uninformed

        I find a small amount of rain either makes people way overcompensate by driving slower than conditions actually call for, or they don’t seem to compensate for conditions at all. I suppose a lot of folks are running around on recuts/retreads on their beater that they’ve had on there for 11 months and don’t want to take any (more) chances, and some other folks have super expensive winter/wet weather tyres on their fancy uptown rig, and drive everywhere with the TCS and ESC lights flashing around every bend.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t think it’s legal to run on retreads here. Don’t know why, they’re not significantly different from normal tires.

      • JD is Uninformed

        I’m sure that decent ones are fine for a daily, but personally I wouldn’t touch them. I imagine certain commercial vehicles run them here; anything to minimize overheads. I often see big blown out, shredded tyres on the shoulder and just hope I’m never alongside on of those rigs when that happens.

      • JD is Uninformed

        What’s with the tiny pair of bongos (?) and microphone in your (gr)avatar? I am so expecting this to be one of these “oh my god I cannot believe you don’t know that” things, but I’m already wearing my dunce cap so I guess I’m prepped.

      • Gender Traitor

        Mr. GT & I played music together as a duo or in a trio for about twenty years (very part-time) until I retired from active gigging a couple of years ago. I decided I wanted to devote my weekends to indolence and sloth. No blame for you not knowing.

      • JD is Uninformed

        That’s cool! Do you have any music on the intertubes?

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, there’s amateur video that fans/followers took at some of our gigs, but I’d be hard-pressed to find any where I don’t dislike either the way I look or the way we sounded at that moment. (Mostly the former, plus I’d risk doxxing myself.) We played almost entirely covers except for a few songs that Mr. GT wrote.

      • JD is Uninformed

        Fair enough. Maybe one day, insh’Algorithm, I will find some of your music.