An infortunate circumstance

by | Mar 7, 2020 | Beer, Reviews | 398 comments

Ever see Better Call Saul?  Its probably best described as Breaking Bad if it were a comedy, a bad one.  The first season did have a nice scene that segues nicely to what might be of interest today.

This is my review of Komes Baltic Porter

Scams infortunately are an ever present part of modern life.  Everywhere it seems, some some poor sap is separated from something of value; it is infortunate.  They’re all over the place, infortunately, especially online.  Here is a screenshot of a scam involving the Iraqi Ministry of Trade.  Infortunately for them, I am not so easily fooled.

If there is a moral to this, I am not about to lecture everyone here.  Infortunately, nobody here is in need of it nor is anyone here going to do much more than politely suggest one heed the warnings.  Then there are the infortunate number of you grinding your teeth to the gums everytime you see the word infortunate.  Your autistic sense of WELL AKSHAUALISM triggering into a burning sensation in your loins, typically reserved for an infortunate incident involving loli that you will never admit to yourself, let alone here infortunately.  A aspic  furnace of fiery, infortunate rage building up into a small cyst filled with bacteria and lymph fluid, only to infortunately explode into a mirror.

Infortunately, it is you that is wrong.  Suck it.

In fact this is actually the moral of the story, to warn you this word does exist as part of the English language, as does the bar swindle, infortunately.  Now you know.

This beer though threw me for a loop.  Porters are typically sweet with one exception, the Baltic Porter.  This one takes the chocolate malts to an absurd level, but doesn’t really do much to balance it out.  Resulting in a black, viscous, but fragrant blast of sugary sweetness that I will probably (perhaps likely) forgive the Polish people for producing.  The last Polish beer I picked up I rather enjoyed, so I was a bit disappointed in this one, infortunately.  Komes Baltic Porter: 2.2/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

398 Comments

  1. Spudalicious

    It’s infortunate you didn’t get a better beer.

  2. hayeksplosives

    Infortunate might be a word, but it’s bad form to repeat it so often within a single passage.

    Thumbs down.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Hmm, I suppose I might have to pepper in Bloomberg ads again, but his check didn’t clear.

      Nah.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It is infortunate that she believes diacope or conduplicatio are “bad form”. They are, however, perfectly cromulent rhetorical figures.

      • Jarflax

        I don’t know about bad form, but naming calls, and I would avoid calling the Lady in her hostile garb.

  3. hayeksplosives

    This is day 9 without alcohol. I find skipping the booze at home to be easy, but we went for dinner last night, and it’s tough not to order a cocktail reflexively.

    And why did I feel slightly guilty about NOT ordering alcohol, like I was wasting her time or something.This is weird.

    • Nephilium

      Perhaps because you thought you were expected to? The only time I feel strange is when I’m at a brewery and not ordering a beer.

    • Viking1865

      You feel guilty because you know subconsciously that teetotaling will lower the bill, which will lower her tip assuming you tip off the total. Whenever I teetotal at a restaurant I have a “Uh wait how come the bill is lower than it should be” moment.

      • hayeksplosives

        This is probably it. But i did get a spendy steak 🙂

    • Ted S.

      I think Dad and I are the only ones in the family who order wine with dinner when we go out.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Is this doctor’s orders? What did you end up ordering to drink?

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes, and iced tea.

      • DEG

        Related to your recent hospital stay?

        Hopefully abstention helps you get healthy.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes, related to my recent hospital stay. Had a perfect storm of insults to my liver and other systems. Now most of the irritants are gone, but no more tylenol, aspirin, alcohol, other items that are tough on the liver & other systems.

      • DEG

        Ouch. Best wishes.

    • Mojeaux

      Teetotaler who runs up the bill with appetizers and dessert.

    • Suthenboy

      Stick with it Hayek. The longest I have gone is three months. Aint nuthin’ easier than falling off of a wagon.

      My doctor assures me that his original prediction that I would die of heart failure was wrong. Now it’s liver failure he says.
      I get tired of people lecturing me about things I already know so I wont do it to you.

      Stick with it.

      • Fourscore

        My doc asks about the non-existing chest pains and light headedness. I had to show him the ganglia on my hand, to be resolved in another week.

        “Its always something, if it ain’t one thing its another”

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        (Milk thistle? SAM-e? Worked for my dog’s liver, though he hardly ever drinks.)

      • hayeksplosives

        I have little choice. And I do feel better now; electrolytes in balance, excess water gone.

      • Tundra

        Gut health is an underrated goal.

        If you can stand them, try to add some fermented foods into your routine.

        I’m really glad you are doing better.

    • DEG

      I’ve found, as I clean up my diet and drop weight, that cutting back on booze was the easiest part.

      Now, I’m not going to cut it out entirely, but cutting back was easy.

      I’ll second what the other folks say about the tip and the total tab.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I tend to nightcap, so when I quit the hard part is tossing and turning.

      • Tundra

        Which is funny, because alcohol is generally accepted to be terrible for sleep.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Like literally everything else, it’s probably depends on the individual.

      • Tundra

        N=1!

        I, too, fall asleep way better with than without. I hear good things about edibles, so I may try that, too.

        It’s challenging to get the brain to stfu.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I’ve been told to try meditating. Nah.

      • Florida Man

        I just rub one out when I can’t sleep.

      • Chafed

        Can confirm. I had rye last night. Stayed up until 2 AM.

      • Fourscore

        I did the T and T for about 3-4 weeks, then bliss, as the body got accustomed not being assaulted by the booze. Now when I T & T I end up asleep after a 1/2 hour or so. Wake up sometimes at night and relive 1st world problems but go to sleep again.

  4. Fatty Bolger

    I’ve seen infortunate used in archaic English writing. For some reason I always think of it as being pronounced as “in-4-tune-8”.

  5. Animal

    Yfel wîtan forhwý onufan and sîn Englisc.

    • Animal

      N¯ænig−wuht?

  6. Nephilium

    Sorry to hear you didn’t like the Baltic Porter. It’s a style that I’m glad is making a comeback, but is still relatively rare.

    • Ted S.

      It’s as low-rent as Mediterranean Porter.

      • Nephilium

        It’s probably good that Swiss has a monopoly on the narrowed gazes.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I’m finding it more often, but they will stop carrying dark beer in general around here in the next few weeks. It’ll be 86 today.

      • Nephilium

        We’ll keep the dark beers all year round up here. In fact, one of the breweries is doing a bottle release of two barrel aged versions of Nut Smasher.

  7. Not Adahn

    I can’t imagine aspic tolerates being in a furnace for long.

    • Ted S.

      Maybe NA can do a review of Lapin Kulta or Koff if he can find them in the States.

    • DEG

      I remember some beer magazines doing bits on breweries in the Baltic States. I think BeerAdvocate covered Latvia and I’m too lazy to go look it up.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Dear Mister Magsoosi,

    I believe we might be able to arrive at a mutually beneficial arrangement some time next spring.

    Yrs,

    Hunter Biden

    • Not Adahn

      Pshaw! Mr. Magoosi can’t see an opportunity even if it’s right in front of him!

      • Rhywun

        *snort*

      • The Hyperbole

        Oh Not Adahn…You’ve done it again.

      • Suthenboy

        Never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.

      • Chafed

        Well played NA.

    • AlmightyJB

      You think they would be interested in a truckload of bikinis?

    • Ted S.

      Hook Magsoosi up with some Nigerian princes.

  9. KSuellington

    I used to drink a lot more porters and stouts but generally these days stick to a steady diet of pale ales and Pilsner type Mexican beers if it’s warm out. I still think the best porter is Anchor Porter, I really don’t care for sweetness in my beer and it is a really nice roasty, chocolate hop balance.

    https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/28/61/

      • KSuellington

        “This blonde beer is crafted by mythical elves at the micro brewery Brasserie Achouffe in the Ardennes Mountains.”

        Those Belgian elves can really work their magic yeast that they have over there.

    • AlmightyJB

      That is a good Porter. I’ve had a few of their beers and liked them.

      • KSuellington

        Anchor Steam and Liberty are both in my regular rotation. I have a soft spot for Anchor as I took the brewery tour at 17 with a fake ID and met Fritz while enjoying their whole line of beers at their bar after. That dude is one of the original pioneers of the American craft beer movement, a legend for beer lovers.

    • Nephilium

      What do you think of Deschutes Black Butte? Personally, I’d say the best porters are (in no particular order): Founders, Bells, and Great Lakes Brewing Company’s.

      • DEG

        Black Butte is excellent.

        Founder’s Porter is my favorite porter.

      • KSuellington

        Most of my beer places are heavily west coast represented for obvious reasons so I’ve never had anything from those latter three. I dig on Deschutes porter and their Mirror Pond and Fresh Squeeze IPA. Back when I was a kid I used to always try new beers, but as I’ve gotten older I tend to stick more to my 10-15 beers that I know I love. I drink a ton of SNPA and Anchor cause I can get em at Costco for 25 bucks a case and that is hard to beat. I do love Anderson Valley’s stuff a whole lot. I think Poleeko Gold Pale is probably the best example of that style I’ve ever had, although it can be kinda hard to find even here.

      • egould310

        Desschutes Fresh Squeeze ??

      • Nephilium

        Sierra Nevada is a good one, we get their 12 packs out here, and for ~$13, there’s no reason to get a sixer at $9. I’ve only seen the six packs of Anchor out here, and it’s got some spotty distribution. It’s getting up to the point though that it’s near impossible to even keep up with all the new releases from the local breweries.

      • KSuellington

        We are truly living in the best beer timeline!

      • Nephilium

        Up to over 30 within cycling range of my house (for me at least, amount is variable based on what you consider cycling range). It does appear that the rate of new breweries has started slowing down though (only 1 in planning nearby, and 1 recently opened that I’m aware of).

      • MikeS

        We are. By chance the other day I had in my beer fridge (smack dab in the middle of he NA continent) a Kona Big Wave and an Alaskan Amber sitting side-by-side. And I only had to pay $15-ish for a 12 pack of each. That’s pretty damn cool.

        Hell, in my local beer store, under one roof is beer from likely half of the states and a dozen(s?) countries around the world. And that’s in a town of only 50K people. The choice we have nowadays is staggering.

      • KSuellington

        “Nobody needs 23 types of beer!”

      • Nephilium

        23? Some of our local breweries have more taps then that. 🙂

      • westernsloper

        Deschutes vanilla porter is one of my faves.

      • westernsloper

        Ooops, my bad. Breckenridge Vanilla Porter. I have had Deschutes I liked but don’t recall what it was.

      • DEG

        I’ve had that Vanilla Porter. It’s pretty good.

      • MikeS

        #metoo. I also like peanut butter porters. Long Route is a good one.

    • DEG

      I think I have never had Anchor Porter. I’ve had other Anchor products and liked them, but I can’t remember ever having the porter.

      • Nephilium

        The porter seems to be randomly distributed here in Ohio. I see it every once in a while, but it doesn’t seem to be regular on the shelves.

      • KSuellington

        It can be hard to find, especially away from the west coast. If you like a non-sweet porter check it out if you see it.

      • DEG

        I will, thanks!

    • MikeS

      I’ve always wanted to try an Anchor beer, but I’ve never seen them up here. Not sure if they distribute to NoDak or not.

      • Tundra

        They’re here. Next time you cross the border take a look.

      • MikeS

        I definitely will do that. Or maybe I’m just not looking hard enough around here.

      • MikeS

        I knew bits and pieces, but this is a nice article. Thanks! It’s cool you got to meet him and talk beer with him (I presume)

      • KSuellington

        Absolutely. I was into home brewing at the time and had seen his picture in a beer article. He walked by us and said hello and I said, “thanks Mr. Maytag for saving the brewery.” He stopped and gave us a little 15 minute history of the adventure of buying a failing brewery. It was cool.

      • egould310

        Maytag blue cheese too. And Old Portero.

      • KSuellington

        Ohh, I didn’t know about the cheese. Thanks! I do enjoy the Old Potrero tho.

  10. westernsloper

    Regards,
    Muneam Magsoosi

    PS. What size orange coveralls do you wear?

  11. DEG

    This beer though threw me for a loop. Porters are typically sweet with one exception, the Baltic Porter. This one takes the chocolate malts to an absurd level, but doesn’t really do much to balance it out. Resulting in a black, viscous, but fragrant blast of sugary sweetness that I will probably (perhaps likely) forgive the Polish people for producing. The last Polish beer I picked up I rather enjoyed, so I was a bit disappointed in this one, infortunately. Komes Baltic Porter: 2.2/5

    This makes me sad.

    • Tundra

      To mnie smuci.

      • DEG

        Though on the other hand, I see (NSFW) busty DOT pl is still up, though it looks like it hasn’t been updated in a while.

      • Tundra

        Teraz jesteś szczęśliwy!

      • DEG

        Ja, natürlich.

    • R C Dean

      Confused. Is it an exception to typically sweet porters or a sugary blast of sweetness?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Baltic Porters are more akin to imperial stouts. Although many are fragrant with spices.

    • Spudalicious

      Ithaca Grade V. Drool.

    • AlmightyJB

      That New Army .44 is sharp.

  12. hayeksplosives

    These article lamenting the misogyny that is clearly the only reason we didn’t have Queen Hillary or Lizzie or Klobuccie–They really believe it’s because they are women??

    What a helpless existence these women must live out, entirely convinced that despite their talents and accomplishments, the Man is keeping them down.

    Never even enters their heads that it could be their policies and message. I mean, that great British politician Margaret Thatcher could have been Prime Minister if not for the old boys club. Oh, what, she *was* prime minister? Well, that must be because men let her be a token symbol of their social justice platform. Oh, she wasn’t a liberal nanny stater? Well, carry on, then.

    • DEG

      I have female relatives that think misogyny and racism are the only reasons Trump is president.

      What a helpless existence these women must live out, entirely convinced that despite their talents and accomplishments, the Man is keeping them down.

      I can assure you, they are pretty fucking miserable people. I don’t talk to them anymore.

    • Nephilium

      What’s really funny about it is that this was in the primary, not the general election. So they’re bitching about the Democrat voters.

      • hayeksplosives

        Good point.

      • Suthenboy

        Democrat voters who are a majority female.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        It’s almost as if people don’t choose a nominee based upon their sex or race or sexual preference.

    • KSuellington

      Ha! A couple years ago we were back in England visiting the wife’s family and friends and had her old school friends over one day. One of them, a lefty feminist type, had to start going on about Trump and what a disgrace he was and how it was sexism that did Hillary in. “Oh, you also admire strong women leaders. You must really have appreciated Maggie Thatcher. I did as well. I didn’t agree with her on everything, but you have to respect what she did here and her abilities as a leader.” I got a mean look and a change of topic of conversation real quick. No more politics for the rest of the afternoon actually.

      • Tundra

        Bully!

      • KSuellington

        My wife (who is pretty damn non political) had to laugh about that one later.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        KSuellington literally DESTROYS in-laws with FACTS and LOGIC

      • DEG

        🙂

      • MikeS

        I say; good show!

    • Mojeaux

      Because Thatcher and Condoleezza had/have non-progressive views, they are victims of internalized misogyny and don’t count because they’re basically men.

      • Gender Traitor

        i.e. GTs? ; )

      • Mojeaux

        Yep! Ha!

    • Suthenboy

      When I was pretty young (no jokes about the Stone Age please) someone said to me about an evangelist, I can’t remember who, “Those guys must be incredibly cynical. They spout all of that bullshit and people just eat it up.” Since then I see all public figures in that light.

      I especially see politicians that way. They are just actors playing a part and spouting bullshit they think people want to hear. They don’t stand for anything other than getting elected and dont believe a goddamned word they say. Warren seems to be more full of shit than most.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Bah. They had a female candidate who was strong,, had forceful opinions, non-corrupt, and who wasn’t off-putting.

      So they buried her campaign because she didn’t toe the line on their corrupt activities.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They know exactly what they’re doing and what they’re doing is slinging bullshit to gullible people. I don’t believe for a second that they believe the misogyny nonsense.

      • Suthenboy

        Yep.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        *goes back and reads rest of subthread*

        Hey hey, we pretty much said the same thing…maybe we’re the ones that are too cynical but I doubt it.

    • Plisade

      I do realize that the articles are progjection, but aside from telling fools such as the authors that they’re projecting, how can one explain to them (I know) what it is they’re doing?

      “How do you know it’s misogyny, are men and women telling you that’s their reason for not selecting a woman? No? Then where is this accusation coming from, other than in your own head? If you don’t hate women, why do you assume others do?” Idk. Doesn’t seem like a convincing argument.

      It’s akin to when people say that homosexuality is a choice. I have asked such a man where this idea comes from, how could he possibly know that without getting inside a homosexual’s head? Is his own heterosexuality a choice, was he really attracted to men, but has to choose not to act on it? He then referred to the Bible, so…

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Deschutes Red Chair.

    *not a porter fan

  14. The Late P Brooks

    I got a mean look and a change of topic of conversation real quick. No more politics for the rest of the afternoon actually.

    Victory!

  15. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    If you’re ever wondering what the difference is between a personal use treadmill and a commercial treadmill, it’s about 300lbs…

    Thankfully we only had to move one of the two today.

  16. Rufus the Monocled

    Elizabeth who?

      • DEG

        Yes

      • Tundra

        Hah! See?

      • R C Dean

        Elizabeth Shue, anyone?

      • The Hyperbole

        s not z, also she hasn’t aged as well as Hurley but that one scene in Palmetto? sweet Jeebus!

      • Rebel Scum

        I’ll be in my bunk.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Nobody likes her

    President Donald Trump on Friday shot down questions about whether sexism grounded the presidential campaign of Elizabeth Warren, one of his perennial punching bags, claiming instead that the Massachusetts senator was done under by a “lack of talent.”

    ——-

    But Trump then employed language likely to strike Warren’s defenders as an example of the very gender-coded criticism her male opponents have not faced.

    “She is a very mean person and people don’t like her. People don’t want that,” the president argued.

    Trump then claimed that “people like a person like me, that is not mean.” It was not clear whether he was joking.

    The comments from the president, less than 24 hours after Warren left the Democratic primary without a major female candidate, come amid a raging debate about the role sexism played in the onetime frontrunner’s collapse.

    “It was not clear whether he was joking.”

    I laughed, if that helps.

    • Suthenboy

      Mean = looking people in the eye and calling things what they are

    • Tundra

      …raging debate…

      That’s one way to put it…

      • Suthenboy

        I laughed at that too.

    • hayeksplosives

      Trump is not not precise or articulate in much of his word choice, but what he’s saying is spot on. Warren’s message is negative, divisive, and hopeless. People don’t want to hear it. Trump at least knows to toss in some “Make America great” “God bless America,” “Greatest nation” etc, even if they are just words.

      • MikeS

        And he’s willing to hit back and be a bit of a prick to the people who his voters believe hate them. It’s a refreshing (if caustic) change from people like Bush and Mittens.

      • Mojeaux

        Mittens is groveling for people to like him. It’s disgusting.

    • Rebel Scum

      It was not clear whether he was joking.

      They still don’t understand that Trump actually does have a sense of humor.

      And he is “mean” in that he says what is on his mind at any given moment.

  18. Q Continuum

    I like Better Call Saul more than Breaking Bad. It’s objectively not as good, but I enjoy watching it more.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      The only reason I watched the first two seasons is unlike most of whats on TV, I can’t always predict the plot.

    • Urthona

      I like both, and Breaking Bad was definitely a comedy. Especially first few seasons.

    • R C Dean

      Big BCS fan. It’s the only lawyer drama that isn’t wrong about everything.

      There is no hospital drama that isn’t wrong about everything.

      • Nephilium

        Don’t ask about how accurate anything dealing with computers or hacking is…

      • hayeksplosives

        “ENHANCE!!”

      • mexican sharpshooter

        There is no hospital drama that isn’t wrong about everything.

        You mean to tell me there aren’t teams of physicians conducting experimental treatments on random patients with the rarest of diseases on a daily basis like they do on House?

        But they do get Dr. Asshole right.

      • Tacit Rainbow

        I’m pretty sure this one is dead on. Especially the hospital lawyer.

        Docudrama

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I’ve seen that around. I’ll have to try and recall where…

  19. Suthenboy

    “this word does exist as part of the English language”

    No. Just no. I refuse to accept that.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Our best. Our brightest.

    Republican Rep. Ken Buck posted a video on Twitter Friday of him wielding an AR-15 in his office in Washington, D.C., and daring former Vice President Joe Biden and former Rep. Beto O’Rourke, D-Texas, to “come and take it.”

    “[I]f you want to take everyone’s AR-15s, why don’t you swing by my office in Washington, D.C. and start with this one?” the Colorado lawmaker said, while grabbing the gun, wrapped with American flags, off the wall.

    ——-

    Monday, after O’Rourke endorsed Biden for the nomination, Biden said of the former Texas congressman, “I want to make something clear. I’m gonna guarantee you, this is not the last you’re seeing of this guy. You’re gonna take care of the gun problem with me. You’re going to be the one who leads this effort.”

    ——-

    Buck brought the gun to Capitol Hill in 2015, and said he submitted to local and federal regulations, taking away the capabilities necessary to actually fire the weapon. “The only dangerous thing about that gun is if someone took it off the wall and hit somebody else over the head with it,” he said in 2015.

    U.S. Capitol Police said then that members of Congress “may maintain firearms within the confines of their office.”

    ——-

    Rep. Haley Stevens, D-Mich., tweeted that, “This behavior is threatening and unacceptable. I feel unsafe with this in my place of work.”

    “members of Congress “may maintain firearms within the confines of their office.” ”

    No plebs, though.

    Haley Stevens is a dumb cunt. She is surrounded by armed Capitol Police and other public and private security people, but Buck’s ornamental black rifle gives her the ‘fraidz. This nation is doomed.

    • hayeksplosives

      What are you, some kind of misogynist?!?

    • Suthenboy

      Recently I had an encounter with a deputy sheriff. I was getting in my car after exiting the local grocery and the guy was in the parking lot. We both nodded to each other and said good afternoon. Then he did a double take and asked “Are you carrying?”

      ” I never go anywhere without a pistol or a fire extinguisher and you shouldn’t either.”

      I could see the light come on. He just shook his head affirmatively and walked away.

      We have our problems but I really do like where I live.

    • The Hyperbole

      If Joe and Beto manage to get into his office and swipe his rifle can he object to the theft after inviting/challenging them to do so?

    • Not Adahn

      Yeah, Molon Labe strikes me as so much bluster when it’s been de-weaponized.

      If they do come to take it, what are you going to do? Grovel?

      • Ted S.

        I find it as silly as Deus vult.

    • westernsloper

      I watched that video. It was outright cringe worthy. Jesus Ken, that shit doesn’t help.

    • R C Dean

      It’s a rifle sculpture at this point. Why’d he decommission it if he’s allowed to have it in his office?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW FUGLY AND GAUDY THE CERAKOTE ON THAT THING IS?!?!?!?

        That’s the only crime in my book.

      • Tundra

        Lol. Great minds.

      • westernsloper

        Kahr Arms extends our thanks to the President for his staunch defense of the Second Amendment with this special edition Tommy Gun. Together we will work to make America great again!

        + 1 “take their guns and due process later” + a bumpstock

      • Not Adahn

        The conventional wisdom was that Trump was easily flattered into doing things for you.

    • Rebel Scum

      Buck’s ornamental black rifle

      It’s not even black.

      I feel unsafe with this in my place of work.

      There are guns around you everywhere all the time, even ones you do not know about. Grow up.

  21. MikeS

    All this talk of beer made me thirsty. Popped a top on a Lupulin CPB

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You of all people should understand hyperbole Hyperbole.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        whoops

      • MikeS

        I’m way better looking, smarter, and am only occasionally wrong as opposed to Hype being perpetually wrong.

      • The Hyperbole

        That may all be true but at least my FedEx driver isn’t a pussy.

      • MikeS

        Dammit. You got me there.

    • DEG

      Nice.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Trump is not not precise or articulate in much of his word choice, but what he’s saying is spot on. Warren’s message is negative, divisive, and hopeless. People don’t want to hear it.

    Exactly. They might as well just go with, “Democrats: the party of hate.”

  23. hayeksplosives

    Diced turkey breast (home cooked in air fryer), chopped celery, red onion, pecan, mayo, Dijon, horseradish. Rolled up in Mission low carb tortilla. Yum.

    • Suthenboy

      Leave out the horseradish and I would eat that all day long.

      *I recently bought a batch of some small tomatoes that are every bit as good as home grown, vine ripened. I have no explanation for that. I slice them, top them with salt, black pepper, sharp cheddar, a slice of pickled jalapeño and some sweet basil then wife and I gobble them up. UN-fortunately we are about to run out of them.

      I need to plant some tomatoes.

    • Nephilium

      That’s the air fryer lid for the InstantPot, right? How does that work?

    • l0b0t

      As an enthusiastic user of the deep-fat fryer, I’m unsure what to think of “air frying”. Is it an actual substitute for immersion in hot tallow/oil, or is it just a rebranding of the convection oven? I was dead wrong about the Ronco convection rotisserie oven. I poo-pooed wifey’s purchase but it makes the absolute best prime rib on Earth, so I’m willing to be convinced about “air-frying”.

      • Suthenboy

        We have one designed specifically for chickens. I use a whole chicken, spice it and set it on the rotisserie for a couple of hours. Fall off of the bone deliciousness.

        I still have my deep fryer.

        Speaking of deep fryers I think we are about due for these:

        1lb ground beef browned with 1 finely chopped sweet onion, garlic, one beef bouillon cube and cayenne pepper
        melt in about 1/2 lb sharp cheddar cheese to make it stick together
        roll up about 1 teaspoon each of meat/cheese mix in wonton wrappers
        deep fry for about 2 minutes until wonton is light brown and crunchy
        dip on salsa and/or sour cream and eat as finger food.

        I promise, if you eat one you will be unable to stop until they are all gone.

      • l0b0t

        WOW! That sounds delicious; thanks for sharing.
        Re: a thread below, after a broken shoulder rendered my 12 gauge downright unpleasant to shoot, I’ve fallen in love with the 20 gauge. Also, “ I cant bring myself to kill anything anymore“, really?!? Man, Suthen, you surprise and impress me; I respect and admire you more with each post you make..

      • Suthenboy

        Every year I would get four ducks. That is all…whole season. I put them in a pressure cooker for an hour with stock, sweet onion and garlic. Then I would de-bone them, dip out as much onion as I could and run all of that through my Kitchen-Ade meat grinder and into the mixer bowl. Then I would add about 1/4 cup of orange or tangerine zest, mix it up and let it sit overnight. Everyone would sit around and spread that on crackers. No talking just the sound of munching.
        I made the mistake of bringing that to my brother’s house on a visit. After that first time he forbid me from coming back if I didn’t bring more of that stuff.

        A few years I went down to the bayou to get my ducks. They are easy to get and always in the same place. When they came along I watched them for a few minutes and thought….fuck. They are beautiful animals and aren’t hurting a thing. They are just trying to get enough to eat and make babies. Their life is hard enough without some asshole blasting away at them with a 12 gauge.

        I put the shotgun back in the safe and went to Mac’s Fresh Market and bought duck. The 12 is still in the safe.

      • Suthenboy

        Another anecdote….

        I told that my brother and the bit about me hand-raising an orphaned squirrel baby. His response: “Lost ya’ balls did you? I never thought that would happen.”

        A couple of months later he calls me up – “You asshole. I went out this morning to shoot squirrels and I couldn’t do it. You really are an asshole.”

      • hayeksplosives

        LOL.

        One of my old friends in Minnesota is a real “tough guy” volunteer firefighter, ice fisher, Molon Labe sorta fellow. He cuts down trees (like the heavy duty scale-the-tree-with-harness this-takes-real-skill sort of tree trimming).

        He found a baby squirrel in a tree, and having destroyed its house, he felt obligated to take it home and raise it. His “bad ass” friends gave him shit for it but he loved that squirrel. And then he noticed that the ladies love that he loves the squirrel.

        He’s now on squirrel rescue number 3 or 4.

        In a different vein, my father was a big gun and target shooting enthusiast, and had grown up hunting, but later in life when his friends invited him to hunt (he let them use his land, so he wasn’t anti-hunting) he said no thanks; i’ve seen enough killing in ‘Nam.

        End of line of questioning.

      • hayeksplosives

        It was terrific. I took two raw halves of turkey breast, skin on, some bones in, slathered in olive oil, salt, and spices. Set the “fryer” lid (yes, the instant pot type) on top and told it to go for 20 min. Turned it over skin side up, set for 30 min and wandered off.

        Juicy and perfect meat, crispy delicious skin. Will repeat.

        I guess it’s like a convection oven, but it preheats in 2 minutes and doesn’t take up much space since it’s just a lid for the instant pot.

        I’ve seen recipes that call for instant pot pressure setting followed by air fryer crisping without changing anything but the lid.

    • Not Adahn

      I am thinking about getting an air fryer or an air fryer/pressure cooker all-in-one. Anyone have recommendations?

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m a big fan of the 6 qt instant pot and air fryer lid. Don’t get the instant pot Duo.

      • Not Adahn

        Is the lid made by Instant Pot?

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes.

      • Not Adahn

        Internet shopping now…

      • AlmightyJB

        Cool, I just added the lid to my Amazon list. Sounds like a good mother’s day present for eh my wife:)

      • Rebel Scum

        I can solve all your cooking needs.

      • AlmightyJB

        I’m determined to cook a lot more outdoors this year. Just starting to get up in the 50’s now.

      • pistoffnick

        We grill all year round. I have flipped burgers at -14 deg F.

      • Tundra

        Of course! A good thermometer is important to keep the temps right, but we never stop for weather!

      • Rebel Scum

        It is always grilling season.

        That said, I haven’t been grilling as much as I should of late particularly over the last fall/winter. Doing two of three meals per day this weekend on the grill, though.

      • Tundra

        I use the gas/charcoal combo too (although I use a Napoleon). The the Slow N Sear is a terrific addition to the mix.

    • MikeS

      Crap!

  24. egould310

    Evan Williams and a splash of Pepsi over ice. Happy Saturday to Glibs everywhere. Cheers!

    Saturday Bride by Quilt, live on KEXP https://youtu.be/3CBZzRuWf3w

    • AlmightyJB

      That sounds good.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    “How do you know it’s misogyny, are men and women telling you that’s their reason for not selecting a woman? No? Then where is this accusation coming from, other than in your own head? If you don’t hate women, why do you assume others do?” Idk. Doesn’t seem like a convincing argument.

    The last thing in the world they want to do is even recognize the existence of the possibility that the problem is not the messenger, but the message.

    • Plisade

      True, and as others have pointed out, that this “misogyny” is happening in their own primary should be illuminating to them. And yet, people still claim systemic racism in a nation that elected a black man to the highest office, twice. How to get through to them is a mystery.

      • Plisade

        Perfect 🙂

        And by “them” I do mean the useful idiots, those who believe the politicians’ and SJWs’ stated intentions are honest, are not just covers for authoritarian dreams.

      • Nephilium

        The fact it’s happening in the primary makes rubbing their noses in it easier. They can blame Hillary losing on misogyny, and at least have some shield that’s it’s those other people that hated women. Pointing out that in the Democratic party primary, they eliminated everyone but the old white males (and Tulsi), they can’t blame the independents and the Republicans for that. It’s their party, they have to own that shit.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    It was not clear if he was joking

    “Bloomberg spent $500 million on ads. The U.S. population is 327 million. He could have given each American $1 million and still have money left over, I feel like a $1 million check would be life-changing for people. Yet he wasted it all on ads and STILL LOST,” Williams said in quoting a tweet by journalist Mekita Rivas.

    “It’s an incredible way of putting it,” Williams concluded.

    “It’s an incredible way of putting it. It’s true,” Gay added. “It’s disturbing.”

    The U.S. population is currently 327 million people, which if evenly divided by $500 million comes to $1.53 per person.

    The hashtag “BrianWilliams” quickly trended on Twitter Thursday night after the flub.

    This is the saddest clip in TV history.pic.twitter.com/ruIFoAckom
    — Sven Henrich (@NorthmanTrader) March 6, 2020

    One way to get rich is to keep asking Brian Williams to give you two tens for a five. https://t.co/wOncG9FckQ
    — Frank J. Fleming (@IMAO_) March 6, 2020

    One way to get rich is to keep asking Brian Williams to give you two tens for a five

    Now, that’s funny.

    • Ted S.

      It’s not clear if drugs were falling out his ass either.

      • Hyperion

        While it is clear that the left media have no intentions of ever learning math, since their target audience will not notice one way or other.

      • Suthenboy

        Last night Tucker Carlson was joking about that story.

        “Why do you think we went into journalism? We suck at math.”

    • Plisade

      It’s a temporary strain on the supply chain. People aren’t going to eat more or wipe their asses more than normal. After peeps are stocked up, sales will drop and retail shelves will fill again. Based on what I’m seeing in dried beans and rice, normalcy will return by the end of the month.

      • AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I agree. When the Corpocolyse doesn’t come, the stock of TP will return, and the stock market will as well. I’m not worried about it. If things get that bad, I’ll wipe my ass with the skin of my enemies.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        People aren’t going to eat more or wipe their asses more than normal.

        Speak for yourself, bub. Come quarantine, I finna binge on Clone Wars and ground beef nachos.

      • Jarflax

        Diacope and finna in the same comments. Truly you are a man of many parts.

  27. Urthona

    Considering the average age of presidential candidates I am pretty optimistic about the coronavirus.

    • westernsloper

      Zing!

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Skinsuiting proceeds according to plan

    Colorado gun owners who don’t lock up or properly secure their weapons in homes where there are children or adults prohibited from accessing guns would be subject to jail time under legislation introduced Friday afternoon at the state Capitol.

    House Bill 1355 — a so-called safe storage measure — would also require gun shops to distribute trigger or cable locks with every sale or transfer of a firearm. The legislation was reviewed by The Colorado Sun ahead of its introduction.

    “The goal for us is to create as safe of an environment as we can in the house if there is a firearm present,” state Rep. Kyle Mullica, a Northglenn Democrat who is leading the push for the measure, said in an interview. “The goal is not to necessarily punish people. The goal is to create that safe environment and to prevent accidents from happening.”

    The bill would bring Colorado in line with other states that have safe storage laws on the books, including Connecticut, California and New York. Even Texas has statutes aimed at keeping firearms out of the hands of children.

    Appeal to “Everybody’s doing it!”

    • Rebel Scum

      The goal is not to necessarily punish people.

      Yes, it is. It is about control.

      • R C Dean

        If that’s not the goal, take out the punishments.

  29. Aus

    These costco panicking people sure must go through a lot more TP than I do.

    Am i doing it wrong or what?

    • The Hyperbole

      If you aint sure, you’re doing it wrong. Likewise if you’re taint sore.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You don’t follow the one roll per bowel movement rule?

      • Rebel Scum

        The lady seems to follow the one roll per bladder movement rule. Clogs the toilet and depletes the toilet paper.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Costco is not doing samples amidst the panic. Screw them.

      • grrizzly

        There were still doing samples here on Thursday.

    • Hyperion

      It’s all down to how many chicks are in your house. You have 2 or more? You might as well order a flatbed trailer full right now.

    • juris imprudent

      If you are going to lose your shit, you’re going to need a lot of TP.

      • Hyperion

        Our public education system has worked exactly as planned. Most humans are now insta-panic herd animals. Spook them and they just run right off a cliff in a stampede.

    • Suthenboy

      Also I made the mistake of looking at the Dakota site recently. They will also, upon request, make multiple barrels for their take-down if the cartridges are from the same parent. I want 7mm Remington magnum, 338 Winchester magnum, and 458 Win Mag.

      https://www.dakotaarms.com/firearms/model-76/traveler.html

      I can dream, cant I?

      *I dont know what I would do with it. I cant bring myself to kill anything anymore

      • AlmightyJB

        Man that’s steep. 7mm Mag is a nice cartridge.

      • Suthenboy

        I have a Ruger No.1 In seven. Yes it is a fantastic cartridge. It really reaches out there.

        I had a great gun collection but I have never had a Dakota.

      • Not Adahn

        Long-range plinking?

      • Sean

        Yowza. That’s a nice rifle.

  30. Hyperion

    Something is wrong with this website. How the fuck am I supposed to know what to click on!?

    • AlmightyJB

      No issues here. I’m on my phone.

  31. Nephilium

    Oh sweet Cheebus. First Biden, and then Sanders. I’ve never been happier to be traveling for work.

  32. Rebel Scum

    a scam involving the Iraqi Ministry of Trade

    Nigerian prince scams are more fun.

  33. Not Adahn

    Stewed beef a la stuff I have in my house:

    Mushrooms, chopped fine
    Red cippolini onions
    leftover smoked duck fat
    Half of a beef eye of round
    A pound of frozen cherry tomatoes (wtf is the point of frozen cherry tomatoes?)

    Throw the mushrooms and duck fat in the pressure cooker and cook them while you turn the beef into 3/4″ cubes.

    Add the beef and brown. Season with salt pepper and thyme. Add the onions and cherry tomatoes. Since they cook out enough liquid no need to add more. Seal the lid and let it go while you start on the creamed parsnips.

    I’ll let you know how it turns out.

    • AlmightyJB

      I’m probably doing spaghetti tonight. I have some mushrooms as well, could throw those in the sauce.

    • hayeksplosives

      “a la stuff I have in my house” <—-This can lead to magical things.

    • l0b0t

      I sliced, seared, and chopped the last bits of roast pork butt we made 2 days ago, chopped up the fried chicken fingers left over from lunch, I’ll fry up a couple sunny-side eggs, bread and fry some some heirloom tomatoes, and mix it all with some yellow rice for dinner; add little sour cream, some chopped onion… yummy.

  34. UnCivilServant

    I just want a weekend where I’m not sick and miserable.

    • Not Adahn

      It’s supposed to be all sorts of warm tomorrow.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hopefully the symptoms will pass as abruptly as they came by.

      • Hyperion

        Vitamin C, a lot, and Echinacea tea works for me.

      • Hyperion

        50 here right now, but sunny and no wind. Feels warmer. Supposed to be low 60s tomorrow. The trees already getting leaves and all the Daffodils in bloom.

    • pistoffnick

      1. Have you eaten bat soup lately?
      2. Have you traveled to China, Italy, Iran or Seattle recently

      • pistoffnick

        Get better, UCS.

  35. Derpetologist

    So this beer is a no-go for the never-ending 6 pack?

    Mine is Moose Drool, Shiner Bock, Alaska Amber, Coal Miner’s Daughter Stout, Old Chub, and Yuengling

    The Greatest Book Report of All Time; skip to the 10 minute mark for the real fun
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo45o69HaKI

    I saw this 2003 and laughed and laughed.

    • Hyperion

      “Moose Drool”

      That’s really a thing? Or is my sarcasm meter broken?

      • Derpetologist

        It’s a brown ale from Big Sky Brewing. It’s great. Their Slow Elk oatmeal stout is good too.

      • Raven Nation

        I enjoyed their Trout Slayer (it’s a wheat beer, sorry for those who hate wheats).

      • Nephilium

        It’s probably one of the more cloned brown ales (search for moose drool homebrew). But I’m happy with my own nut brown recipe instead.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Moose Drool is a thing, and it is excellent.

      • Tundra

        Particularly on tap in a little bar after a grueling day of trout fishing on the Gallatin.

        10/10

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        That’s really a thing? Or is my sarcasm meter broken?

        Yep

        I think the Summer Honey is the best of the lot

  36. juris imprudent

    I suppose I should have held this for the next cryptid post (but the most appropriate one was last night).

  37. The Late P Brooks

    “Moose Drool”

    That’s really a thing? Or is my sarcasm meter broken?

    It’s real, unfortunately. It’s awful.

    • Hyperion

      When you name something Moose Drool, do you really intend for it to be good?

    • Derpetologist

      Awful, you say?

      Fine. More for me.

    • Derpetologist

      And the word is *infortunately*!

  38. Hyperion

    Has anyone seen the Census commercials? Good fucking gawd. All of them are Hispanic families with prominent accents telling us how we all NEED to be counted. Because libraries, or something.

    Fuck off and leave me alone, government.

    • The Hyperbole

      I think you got your tabs mixed up this is the ‘libertarian’ site, not Stormfront.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Dude. Considering Hyp’s chosen family is Hispanic with a prominent accent, that’s a bit uncalled for.

      • Hyperion

        Ahh, man, let it go. It entirely missed my point, but no harm done.

      • Not Adahn

        What? That FedGov is particularly interested in counting one very specific demographic and undercounts of all others are to be hoped for?

      • Hyperion

        Go back to Stormfront, shitlord!

      • The Hyperbole

        I call ’em as I see um. Plus some of my best friends are rednecks and my lawyer is an antisemite, so i can’t be a bigotist.

      • Jarflax

        Latin sure, but hispanic? I think that would violate the Treaty of Tordesillas.

      • Rhywun

        Treaty of Tordesillas

        I don’t know what that is but it sounds delicious.

      • Hyperion

        It’s a tortoise burrito, duh! You throw in bits of the shell for crunchiness!

      • grrizzly

        Brazilians are not Hispanic. At least not in a sense of affirmative action. According to the federal regulation, a small company owned by a descendant from a Spanish-speaking country in America can benefit from certain preferences, but not Brazilians.

      • Tundra

        The Irish of the Southern Hemisphere?

      • Hyperion

        The difference is that they don’t speak Spanish. They’re Latin obviously, since they speak of the the Romance languages.

      • Jarflax

        Portugese privilige

      • Hyperion

        No, they’ll fight you if you call them Hispanic, or Latin. They’re Brazilians, they’re very special. Trust me on that one. Still, they do originate from the Iberian peninsula, Portugal. The difference is that they don’t speak Spanish.

        Still, it is also known, that I work for Stormfront, hate all minorities and women folk. That’s why I have to hide out here, at one of the last bastions of free speech, now also known as hate speech.

      • Jarflax

        Why are you talking to yourself?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      *dons foil hat*

      Have you considered they are using the info from the census to identify and round up a certain demographic in predominantly Spanish speaking neighborhoods?

      *doffs foil hat*

      • Hyperion

        With a Nazi in the Whitehouse, it’s entirely possible.

    • Derpetologist

      Why did we even need a census anymore? Just count the number of adults based on driver’s licenses and apportion the reps that way.

      • Hyperion

        “Why did we even need a census anymore?”

        Exactly this. We don’t. It’s a useless waste of time. But our government are using it, apparently to prove how woke they are.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        While I appreciate the sentiment of recognizing that federalism is truly well and done for, so why not stick a fork in it, I’m still not going to cheerlead de jure-ing our de facto national ID.

      • Derpetologist

        I can see that. It’s just that when you consider all the info being collected by the DMVs, the IRS, etc, it makes me question why more research is needed.

        Congressional districts should just use existing boundaries. In the case of places like NYC, let voters pick their top 11 (or whatever the number of reps is) and those guys fill the slots.

      • Hyperion

        It’s how we always did it. Jobs. Why do you hate the poor census people?

      • Nephilium

        No. I’d prefer to avoid going to the Parliament style as long as possible.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        NYC has 8.6M people and only 1.9M registered vehicles.

        IDK how many have licences anyway, but probably not the best measure in an urban environment.

      • Jarflax

        Ummm, Francisco… ixnay on the ointing outpay. I say we reapportion based on vehicles, count tractors, snowmobiles 4 wheelers and dirtbikes.

      • Tundra

        And boats.

      • Jarflax

        Boats might benefit the coasts.

      • Tundra
      • westernsloper

        And trailers.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        How about based on the number of pickup trucks?

      • Jarflax

        Let’s go all in, base it on ammo sales

      • Tundra

        No good. The Feds buy a shit-ton.

      • Derpetologist

        Fair point. What I’m getting at though is it’s efficient to send armies of people door to door to answer these questions when you could just look at the 240 million or so tax returns.

        When the credit rating agencies want info, they don’t use a census done in person.

      • Hyperion

        But jobs, dude. Who’s going to create any jobs if the government doesn’t? Private businesses? Hah! They have all their money sewed up in their mattress!

      • Derpetologist

        I remember some prog telling me that if the govt did not create demand, there wouldn’t be any and soon no supply or jobs.

        That’s some Authentic Frontier Gibberish right there.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Same idiots that think the government created the iPhone

      • juris imprudent

        Swimming pools full of gold coins.

      • Derpetologist

        No, no, no bank notes in abandoned mine shafts, as Keynes intended.

      • Derpetologist

        it’s *not* efficient, that is

        Stop making me stupid, beer!

  39. AlmightyJB

    I think I’m going to take a shower and then break into some whisky before I start dinner.

  40. Rebel Scum

    Managed to spill a good portion of the bag while filling the bird feeder. I guess the squirrels get some seed this week.

  41. hayeksplosives

    ZOMG!!! I just saw a gorgeous little rust and gold hummingbird! From the guidebooks, it looks like a rufous hummingbird. I’m outside the breeding range for it, but well within migration range.

    What a treat! A still pic doesn’t do the little guy justice: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/assets/photo/68934031-720px.jpg

    • Hyperion

      That cute little thing will poop all over your Tesla, just sayin…

      • Suthenboy

        Have you ever seen hummingbird poop? It looks like water…clear. They are like fairies or unicorns….they poop sugar and rainbows.

    • Hyperion

      You took that pic? Wow, I’m impressed, that’s a great pic. What camera did you use for that? I have a 24 megapixel Nikon DLSR camera and a phone with a 32 megapixel camera and neither of them are going to get a pic like that.

      • hayeksplosives

        No, that’s a stock photo. My good cam needs its battery charged!

      • Hyperion

        Whoo, I feel better now. You were making me feel camera inferior there.

    • Suthenboy

      Cool. I have seen at least 6 species of hummingbird here. I put out at least 100 lbs of sugar every year for them and the bees.
      Of those 6 species only one is officially supposed to be here. The other five are probably just stragglers or the odd bird blown off of course.
      I have seen the rufous at least once.
      Otherwise I have posted videos here with at least 100 of these guys buzzing around my front porch: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-throated_Hummingbird/id

      It is fun to watch them. They show up in march or April in pairs….a few weeks later their chicks start showing up at the feeders then a few weeks later their chicks and then theirs…by October there are at least a hundred of them around here, I figure three, four generations of them.

      I suspect they are very promiscuous.

      • hayeksplosives

        Those ruby throats get fiercely territorial. The equivalent here are the Black Chinned. They look a lot like Rubys but with a more purple throat. Those suckers get loud and will strafe each other, the cat, and people. Wild. Such tiny little muscles!

      • Suthenboy

        Yes, the ruby throats are mean little devils. Cute as a button and mean as hell.

    • Tundra

      Beauty!

      None of those here, yet. Although the Trumpeter Swans are on the move. Lots of open water!

      • The Hyperbole

        Trump has his own swans now? The man’s megalomania knows no bounds!.

      • Tundra

        Come to think of it, they kind of sound like Two-scoops.

  42. Mojeaux

    I haven’t sewn in so long I forgot how to thread my machine.

    Fixing to fix orange chicken for XX TD today.

    Now aren’t you excited!

    • Hyperion

      This sewing mania around here has got to stop, it’s deeply disturbing! Someone do something!

      • Jarflax

        Someone is crochety! Get some sleep it will knit your ravelled sleeve.

      • Hyperion

        Please don’t tell me that you’ve also ordered your mini-sewing machine?

        This thing is spreading, I’m getting very concerned.

      • hayeksplosives

        Think of it as a subset of prepping, if it makes you feel better.

      • Tundra

        Fabulous prepping.

      • Sean

        You ordered a bedazzler?

      • Jarflax

        Pfft, speaking as someone superbly trained in survival by playing video games. I will take my clothing from the bodies of the mobs I kill and from their treasure chests. The stuff you losers craft never has the best stats anymore.

      • Hyperion

        “fft, speaking as someone superbly trained in survival by playing video games.”

        If I had a dollar for every pixel I’ve killed. My fav weapon is a bow or crossbow.

      • Jarflax

        Depends on the game. I favor the crossbow in 7 days, bow in almost all Elder scrolls, usally a semi auto rifle in modern games, hate sub guns in all shooters, even the ones that try to force you to use them by magically turning 9 mm into a super catridge in subguns.

      • Hyperion

        Probably the only game I can remember not going for bow/crossbow is Fallout, because there weren’t any bows. So I went for sniper and melee when someone actually got close enough.

      • Grumbletarian

        Don’t worry. In the long run people reap what they sew.

      • Gender Traitor

        This thing is spreading, I’m getting very concerned.

        Would you say there was a sudden serge in interest?

      • juris imprudent

        It seams this thread has reached its end.

      • Hyperion

        Wait… when did you assume the role of the curvy milf who tells us when there’s a new thread?

    • Hyperion

      Not to toot my own horn, but exactly what I’ve been saying. But after all, I guess we all just have to realize that only woke lilly white geriatric dudes are capable of saving poor helpless minorities.

      Maybe I’m wrong, but I see it as the most racist people alive having an overwhelming need to call everyone else out for being racist. Projection anyone?

      We can’t enslave them or put them in camps any longer, so we need their vote so we can keep them poor and dependent! /democrats

      • juris imprudent

        White knight – very problematic.

    • Suthenboy

      That’s no shit. If you appeal to the worst parts of human nature (Envy, greed, resentment) you are going to attract the worst kinds of people. Rocket Science 101.

    • Francisco d'Anconia

      Maybe don’t run women who are batshit crazy cunts?

      I can’t wait till the first elected woman president ends up being a Republican. #saltytears

  43. Old Man With Candy

    BCS is terrific. Mexi is retarded.

    The pimento roll scene was one of the greatest in the history of TV.

    • Crusty Juggler

      “BCS is terrific”

      Agreed.

      “Mexi is retarded.”

      Apparently!

    • Urthona

      BCS is the best show on tv.

  44. westernsloper

    Nap taken, cocktail mixed, chicken marinated, grill lit, football on (good game ackshully). I love my boring life!

    • Suthenboy

      Boredom is highly underrated. adventure usually results in tears and empty wallets.

      • peachy rex

        As the saying goes… “Adventure is someone you don’t know in deep shit far, far away.”

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Still, it is also known, that I work for Stormfront, hate all minorities and women folk. That’s why I have to hide out here, at one of the last bastions of free speech, now also known as hate speech.

    *straight arm salute*

    • Suthenboy

      Pointing out that importing members of collectivist cultures into an individualist culture is probably a bad idea is somehow racist despite it having nothing whatsoever to do with race.
      People are simpletons.

      • Hyperion

        Back to Stormfront for you too, shitlord!

      • Derpetologist

        I remember being criticized by a prog for pointing out that the perhaps the reason a disproportionate number of white people go to national parks is because other groups, on average, are not as interested in the great outdoors.

        Is there a black or Hispanic equivalent of John Muir?

        Somehow, recognizing differences among groups got equated with racism.

        Pretty much the only non-whites I’ve seen in my many visits to national parks were Japanese or Indian tourists.

      • Suthenboy

        And pommies. I have run into a lot of English in wild places…walking around pointing out “Look at that children. Those are cacti.”
        To which I volunteer ” Yes, and there is a rattlesnake living under every one of them. Keep your distance”.

      • kbolino

        I don’t know about national parks, but nobody’s about to accuse the Maryland state parks of being underutilized by the Hispanic population.

        On any given fairly nice day, at least half of the pavilions and, at the beach parks, half of the shoreline, will be occupied.

      • juris imprudent

        Actually, any blathering on about race proves that the person blathering has failed to understand that race died as scientific concept a long time ago. It only lives on as a social construction.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I root for the deer.

      • westernsloper

        He’s French so that goes without saying.

      • Derpetologist

        There was a video game called Deer Avenger where you play a deer who shoots hunters. He uses a human call which is a female voice saying “I’m naked! And I have a pizza!”

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmwnuEOnfq8

    • Hyperion

      “A behemoth deer charged a French hunter ”

      Well, there you go. Everyone knows guns are illegal in France. What was he doing, throwing marshmallows at it?

      “the 330-pound animal he was stalking”

      WTF? I know corn fed deer get big. But 330 lbs? WTF?

      • R C Dean

        Not an American deer. Not sure what they have in France.

      • Hyperion

        “Not sure what they have in France.”

        Little white flags at the ready to pull out in surrender? I swear if we have to save Europe one more time, I’m joining hippies in burning my draft card.

      • juris imprudent

        Red deer, aka stag.

      • Hyperion

        It sounds like toxic masculinity to me. Have they arrested any of those ‘stag’ yet for hate crimes?

    • Suthenboy

      How the hell?
      Twice I have had deer knock me down…well knocked down once, the second time it was a spotted fawn that ran into me and I grabbed it up then let it go. I have never had one injure me. I am guessing the thing ran into him…rack first.

    • Rhywun

      I think I won’t click that.

  46. Crusty Juggler

    Security contractor Erik Prince reportedly recruited ex-spies to help Project Veritas infiltrate liberal groups

    Erik Prince, a security contractor with close ties to the Trump administration, recruited former spies to infiltrate various Democratic organizations — including a congressional campaign — multiple documents and interviews revealed.

    One of the operatives recruited by Prince, a former M16 agent, ran a 2017 sting in which he copied files and recorded conversations from a Michigan office of the American Federation of Teachers, one of the country’s largest teachers unions, The New York Times reported.

    The same operative also went undercover in now-Rep. Abigail Spanberger’s (D-Va.) congressional campaign. When the campaign discovered this, the agent was fired.

    Both of the operations were run by Project Veritas, a conservative news group that has gained notoriety as of late for running these kind of sting operations on news organizations, Democratic lawmakers and left-leaning advocacy groups.

    It’s Nixon all over again!

    • CPRM

      a former M16 agent

      First it’s background checks, and now your gun needs to have an agent!

    • Suthenboy

      More of the “You weren’t supposed to catch me!” bullshit.
      If you talk to people in prison you will find no small number of people blaming the police for them being caught and imprisoned.

    • Ted S.

      He should have hired Christopher Steele instead.

  47. Crusty Juggler

    Coronavirus in NY: Workers don hazmat suits to scrub germs off NYC buses

    “We’re making sure that our bus operating compartment [is] disinfected twice a week, then we’re going on to every handrail, grab rail, windowsill, seat in the bus,” MTA bus boss Craig Cipriano told reporters. “Everywhere our customers could potentially have contact with.”

    Finally!

    • Rhywun

      $$ Overtime!

    • mexican sharpshooter

      This is why I don’t like public transportation. The public.

      • Los Doyers

        My big issue with it is trumpsters constantly trying to yank off my hijab.

  48. AlmightyJB

    Round 1: Russell’s Reserve 10 year 90 proof vs Elijah Craig Small Batch 1789 8-12 year 94 proof.

    Winner: Elijah Craig. Smoother and less bite even with the slightly higher proof. Very nice caramel pleasant hint of vanilla. Clean finish. Russel’s is decent but not nearly as smooth or as good. On a 5 point scale, I’d go with 4.5 vs 3.5.

    • AlmightyJB

      Round 2: The winner above EC vs Woodford Reserve Double Oaked 7 year 90 proof. Man this is a tough call because the Woodford has a different flavor profile with the smoky oak. It almost overpowers some of the more subtle flavors but the added charactor is a nice change up and it is also very smooth. The WR has a slightly higher rye content 18% vs 13% which again ads a slight change in the profile. I’m going to give the slight edge to the Elijah Craig for it’s more classic bourbon taste 4.5 to 4.25 but if you want to change things up a bit, I totally recommend the Woodford Reserve Double Oaked with it’s unique charactor while still being smooth.

      • AlmightyJB

        This is my first experience with Elijah Craig bourbon. I’m pretty happy to have found it. I need to pu some 1792 which I know I like to do a comparison.

    • Suthenboy

      What’s with the run on Costco?
      There are only 100 other retailers.

      • AlmightyJB

        They probably wanted to buy a thousand rolls. Lol.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I bought 2 cases of water,
      30 pack of Tall Cans!
      12 pack of TP, (6 month supply)
      and some canned goods that are tasty, and no need to cook,
      I have multiple Fire sources,
      Backup LV power so I can still get the Signal,
      / I bought the water because the local supply makes horrible Coffee, no Bueno!

    • one true athena

      It’s so stupid. I was just at the regular grocery store and the paper goods shelves were bare. Why are people hoarding PAPER TOWELS? I don’t get it at all.

      Though I guess we now know what’ll be the first to actually be gone in an apocalypse scenario. “I’ll trade you this can of beans for a sheet of Bounty. That stuff’s more precious than gold!”

  49. The Late P Brooks

    Is there a black or Hispanic equivalent of John Muir?

    Does Cortez count?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      The Killer?

    • juris imprudent

      Well, he too was something of a religious fanatic.

    • Suthenboy

      I think both the Spanish and Hispanics would take issue with you lumping them together.
      Reason: see Hernando Cortez.
      And for God’s sake done ever call Hispanics Indians. You’ll get shot.

  50. Crusty Juggler

    An Oral History of the Time a Dog Ate a Heart on ‘One Tree Hill’

    in the case of One Tree Hill, the borderline iconic status of its most lasting image can be attributed to total, dumbfounded amazement. When else in the history of TV has anyone seen a golden retriever pick up a man’s replacement heart off of a hospital floor and scurry away with it?

    Norris: The next day, we were all in the writers’ room and Joe Davola came into the room and he’s like, “We’re doing the dog eatin’ the heart.” There was just this big laugh and he’s like, “We’re doing it. It’s in the episode.” It was very surreal.

    Greg Prange (executive producer): Crazy Joe Davola.

    Johansson: Oh yeah, Joe Davola. “Paulie! Paulie! I got somethin’ for ya!” Joe Davola is like Joe Pesci on steroids.

    Gracia: That’s why they really call him “Crazy Joe Davola.”

    Haynes: Lore has it that Joe Davola is the inspiration for Crazy Joe Davola from Seinfeld. He’s kind of like a New York godfather. He started as an MTV producer in the early days. He’s got a bit of a brusque attitude, but he’s also kind of a teddy bear.

    James Lafferty (Nathan): He’s a larger-than-life character. He was so enthusiastic and invigorated every time he came to set. He just wanted to make the best episode possible. We always knew we were in good hands.

    Schwahn: I was thrilled that Joe got that episode. Joe may have been stoned once or twice, so I felt like he could work from a historical perspective as a director.

    My goodness.

  51. pistoffnick

    Corned beef + smoke= pastrami

    I’m hot smoking a corned beef right now. (Some mick holiday is coming up so corned beef is on sale)

    What a beautiful day! Truck thermometer said 52 deg. There were a couple of boats out on Lake Superior. I saw a fella out on a motorcycle. Tons of people out walking.

    I got a hair cut
    Bought liquor
    Washed all the snirt and salt off the truck
    Installed a recently purchased red dot on a recently purchased scary black thing

  52. Suthenboy

    Re: Crusty’s dog ate the heart

    I have told this story before.

    An old fella that grew up with my grandfather lived adjacent to some property we inherited from my grandfather. He was old, a widower and no one would go near him so I used to check in on him two or three times per year.
    He was a world war II vet that fought in France and Germany. When he came home he became a sheriff’s deputy and then was elected Constable. He was always bragging about how many people he had killed both in the war and here while on the job. Every time I would visit he would let me know he always carried a gun, then he would pull it out and wave it around then point it at me “See? Here it is right here. I keep this with me all of the time. It’s right here, see? ”

    “Yes James, I see it, I have one too. Now put it away and stop putting that thing ini my face. ”

    I will see who can figure out why he never had anyone else visit him.

    He had the meanest dog I have ever seen. It was a big Catahoula that had three legs and one eye. I am not making this up. That son of a bitch would go wild when you came to the fence, barking, growling and slavering everywhere just dying to get at you. You had to wait until James came out and crated him just to get in the yard. Really, it was like some stereotype out of a movie. Mean old killer with a one eyed, three legged killer dog living in the middle of the Louisiana woods. A horror flick come to life.

    Anyway, one day James went in his yard to pick up pecans and had a stroke. He fell dead on the spot. Since James very rarely had visitors it was three weeks before anyone found him. There was no one to feed that mean old bastard cur for three weeks. Except James. Guess who found him.

    Sleep tight tonight and have sweet dreams.

  53. Mojeaux

    Hrmph.

    Y’ever have tasks that you succeed at but it’s not the result you wanted?

    Chicken = good. But not orange chicken like at Hy-Vee. Recipe was badly written too.

    Sewing machine = got it running. But I couldn’t get a cat-pee stain out of the thing I was sewing without bleach and now it has a bright spot.