Friday Morning Links

by | Mar 6, 2020 | Daily Links | 643 comments

Wesson not committing a foul for a change.

Ohio State topped Illinois last night in a hell of an interesting game of runs. Michigan righted their ship after a shaky few games. Houston lost, surprisingly. And San Diego State keeps racking wins against their woeful conference. ManUre rounded out the FA Cup round of 16 winners. Thankfully we can get back to league play now. And on the ice, your winners werePittsburgh, Tampa, Boston, NYR, Philly, Ottawa, Nashville, Chicago, LA, and the MINNESOOOODA WIIIIIILD!!!!!!! I’ll do a playoff update on Monday since we’re coming down to the wire. If I remember, that is.

Meathead

The artist Michelangelo was born on this day.  The artistic genius shares it with some old German banker named Jacob Fugger, Polish military genius Casimir Pulaski, early bluesman Furry Lewis, hurler Lefty Grove, comedic actor Lou Costello, economist Alan Greenspan, novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez, first woman in space Valentina Tereshkova, singer David Gilmour, meathead actor Rob Reiner, cocaine aficionado Tom Arnold, Shaq (Diesel) O’Neal, and rapper Tyler The Creator.

OK, let’s get to…the links!

Careful, she’s loaded!

I wonder if someone smuggled it in their snizz. You know who I’m talking about.

The coronavirus is now in 80 countries. Officially, that is. Now, if we could just figure out what the actual number of people who were infected is…which is impossible, since a shitload of people never reported it and simply got better.

Let’s check in on Afghanistan…yeah, the peace deal is working out about as I expected. Still doesn’t matter, get our troops back home. We’re wasting blood and treasure there.

Please get those guys OUT OF THAT SHITHOLE!

When it comes to unions paying for Chicago political campaigns, where there’s a will, there’s a way. I wonder if the same dipshits who constantly decry Citizens United see a problem here? I don’t. But I’m not a hypocrite.

Good. I hope they make him stand trial and his remaining days are miserable. Your opinion may differ, but I still believe in justice, even if it comes six decades later than it should.

Look at these big, tough guys. What a bunch of pricks. Pricks whose union will make sure they all get awards for bravery.

Raises? These people want raises? They should be more worried about lawyering up as the feds descend on the entire corrupt enterprise.

Here you go. And another. And a third one! Hope you enjoy. I know I will.

Now have a solid Friday and an even better weekend. And wash your filthy hands.

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

643 Comments

    • straffinrun

      Whatever Bernie says it is.

    • Not Adahn

      How do you not have a pre-defined mandatory career path with pre-set raises and promotions based on seniority and pencil-whippable “accomplishments?”

      Even Texas state employees have that.

      • UnCivilServant

        This may come as a shock to you, but politicians don’t want their pet project money going to pay for implementation. Only agencies with independant funding sources get to play up to the stereotypes. And the union wants to be friends with people who hate them.

      • Not Adahn

        See, TX used the guarantee as a way of keeping employees from bolting out the door.

        There was a published schedule for title advancement — I started as an Analytical Chemist I and got a bump in pay from $19k to $22k after 6 mo, and advancement to Analytical Chemist II after 18 months with an additional raise assuming I had qualified in one additional wet and one instrumental technique by then.

      • UnCivilServant

        NY just waves Bye.

        What year were you working those titles?

      • Not Adahn

        1996?

        Yes, the pay was abysmal. That’s why they used psychology to retain people. Also lots of “you are super-elite AOAC chemists” with our own secure laboratories and ability to basically order whatever we needed without approval.

      • UnCivilServant

        In 1997 that was a grade 8-10 transition for NY employees.

        Grade 6 is a clerk. Grade 8 is a clerk supervisor.

      • pistoffnick

        “…qualified in one additional wet..”

        Not Adahn does wet work. Noted. {backs away slowly}

      • Not Adahn

        I have two Wet Labs, one on either side of the site. I can dissolve anything.

      • Rhywun

        Look at Heisenberg, here.

      • Not Adahn

        You’re damn right.

      • pan fried wylie

        I can dissolve anything.

        *swoons*

      • Jarflax

        I’m much less scared of pissing off assassins than chemists. Shot to death beats the hell out of some of the more exotic ways poisons kill you.

    • Festus

      That’s what happens when you go fishing with your Uncle and he asks “Have you ever seen a turkey peep over a log?” and then he pinches the short and curlies at the back of your neck.

    • leon

      The only raises i’ve gotten in my professional career are because i switched jobs.

      • UnCivilServant

        The only person I know who’s gotten told me about a raise is my mother, who got a 17% increase, without change in post or title.

      • Not Adahn

        The biggest raises have come from switching jobs, but I’ve been fortunate enough to get merit increases of various amounts everywhere in the private sector.

        Here, the corporate financials-based bonus is much larger than any merit increase is, so I would up making less in 2019 than 2018. We will see next month is 202 will be better.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        That’s how it was for me as an engineer and in my legal job before I graduated law school. Now, there’s an expectation of an annual raise and bonus with my annual review.

        Legal compensation at the big firms is very regimented. Depending on the firm, a first year starts at $180-190k, and then there’s a pre-defined salary ladder for the next 7-9 years. Bonuses are usually defined as a range, and are the primary way of rewarding merit. A shitty employee may get $0 or $5k bonus. A superstar may get a $50k bonus or more.

        That model highly impacts the legal industry as a whole, but especially in-house counsel jobs for big companies. They can’t match the big firms (nor do they have to… They offer quality of life benefits), but they have to stay within a certain gap from biglaw, or else all the best talent leaves to go make double in a law firm.

        All that to say that they’re basically required by the market to give annual raises. You can’t offer $100k for a 50 hour/week job when the law firm down the street is offering $325k $50k bonus for 70-80 hours/week.

      • Jarflax

        Those of us who can’t fit in the firm/corporate culture make significantly less. 🙂

      • leon

        That’s how it was for me as an engineer

        Yeah, i don’t think annual raises are that common anywhere. It is sad though cause for me i always feel like it is easier to get a new Job than to ask for a raise, (and so far much more effective) but i really like my current Job right now.

      • kinnath

        2% every year, whether I want it or not.

        Life as an engineer in a mega-corp.

    • Rasilio

      When the government increases the beer ration from 2 quarts to 3 pints a day

  1. Pat

    Let’s check in on Afghanistan…yeah, the peace deal is working out about as I expected. Still doesn’t matter, get our troops back home. We’re wasting blood and treasure there.

    Yeah, if we waited until there was no violence in Afghanistan to leave we might as well start building vacation condos.

    • UnCivilServant

      Why aren’t we building vacation condos?

      • sloopyinca

        “Because Trump hasn’t figured out a way to profit his family yet.”
        -MSNBC

      • Trials and Trippelations

        That is a good question. Everyone likes tours about how their favorite hobby stuff is made.

        Bring on the opium tours!

      • pan fried wylie

        “It’s called a smorgaswein, and it’s really classy, Stan.”

    • Rebel Scum

      we might as well start building vacation condos

      The Air Force could use some more targets. //jk

  2. Trigger Hippie

    ‘…some old German banker named Jacob Fugger’

    Possibly the richest man to ever live. In today’s money, he was worth north of $400 billion.

    • sloopyinca

      “Wait, so he had so much money he could give every American a million dollars and not even notice?”
      CNN MSNBC panelist and host

      • Trigger Hippie

        I Fucking Love Economics!

      • Fourscore

        …and math…

      • Old Man With Candy

        Also NYT Editorial Board member.

      • sloopyinca

        She probably wished that was behind their paywall.

      • Jarflax

        Glen Beck was laughing at this this morning, I missed the actual comments and tweets, but OMFG, how can you actually say the words 500 million and not immediately realize that that does not equal 340 million million?

    • UnCivilServant

      Oh come on, how rich could he have been? He didn’t even have enough money to buy a TV or airplane ticket.

      • Trigger Hippie

        He bought the Hapsburgs. So, yeah, he had some mad fetti.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh. Half an once of meth and a case of Schlitz and you’re king of the trailer park.

      • Brett L

        Don’t give her all of that at once or she’ll start flashing back to her first sexual experience: “Daddy, get off me, you’re crushing my Marlboro Lights!”

  3. Pat

    Video of black man’s arrest spurs outrage

    Focusing on the important issue, of course.

      • UnCivilServant

        Gayle was arrested and charged with resisting arrest, obstructing governmental administration and marijuana possession.

        So, no.

      • Rebel Scum

        resisting arrest, obstructing governmental administration and marijuana possession.

        In that order?

      • UnCivilServant

        Who knows.

        But if “Obstructing governmental administration” were really a crime, >75% of bureaucrats would be guilty.

      • Nephilium

        Look at you already planning your climb up the bureaucrat ladder!

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I did start being a supervisor yesterday.

    • sloopyinca

      It is pretty important. A plainclothes cop pulling a gun on a guy who was in a park five minutes after it closed and a dozen boys in blue literally dog piling him should be important to everyone.

      • Pat

        I meant the headline writer immediately making it into a race issue instead of a police being fuck faces issue.

      • sloopyinca

        I think it’s an honest assessment seeing as this much more commonly happens in NY with black men. Hell, look at the stop-frisk numbers.

      • Pat

        No sense in rehashing the tired arguments about policing and race. But nothing will ever be done about police brutality as long as the only grounds for opposing it is the race of the victims, IMO. I also wish like fuck I lived in the world some of you do where white people’s interactions with police are like an episode of Sesame Street.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        I agree. It’s like COPS never showed the attitude of cops to trailer trash and FloridaMan

      • leon

        Those people don’t matter.

      • sloopyinca

        I’m not saying cops don’t also treat white, brown and yellow (I assume this is problematic, but I don’t know what else to say. “Honorary white”?) people poorly. But there’s a distinct pattern that’s well-documented in New York where cops treat black men differently than every other demographic in UOF situations.

      • sloopyinca

        To be clear, I’m not speaking about the over-arching issue of police abuse. I’m speaking specifically about the NYPD.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yes, the race focus is a problem and the issue won’t be meaningfully addressed until that’s dropped as the main focus. Police abuse of power and lack of accountability is what’s important.

      • Festus

        Yep. Probably 90% of the crime in my city is caused by 10% of the population. It’s math and cops are notoriously unable to see nuance.

      • Rebel Scum

        The media don’t want the actual problem to be addressed.

      • invisible finger

        ^^^THIS

      • Old Man With Candy

        Literally, they were not dog-piling him. That would require dogs.

        They were pig-piling him. Literally.

      • sloopyinca

        And then half of them probably went home and smacked someone around in their house.

      • Shirley Knott

        What, the other half stopped for a beer first?

      • sloopyinca

        The other half have spouses who finally had enough and left. They’re choking a prostitute out so they know their place.

      • Brett L

        The other half haven’t found a new hostage to take since the last one came to their senses and escaped.

      • SugarFree

        Statistically, two of them are taking it out on each other. And then, um, taking it out on each other.

      • Not Adahn

        But if they were schweinhunden, then they could do both at the same time.

    • straffinrun

      That take down didn’t look that unusual for the cops. I’ve seen them do that crap a half dozen or so times in the States.

      • pan fried wylie

        I bet sometimes it’s even called-for.

  4. Rebel Scum

    Federal investigators found a loaded gun Thursday that had been smuggled into the jail where Jeffrey Epstein did not killed himself last summer, following a weeklong lockdown that turned up other contraband and led to a criminal probe into guard misconduct, the federal Bureau of Prisons told The Associated Press.

    Fixed.

  5. Fourscore

    “marked a massive breach of protocol and raised serious questions about the security practices in place at the Bureau of Prisons”

    Next suicide will go ballistic

    • pan fried wylie

      If a bullet leaves the barrel and immediately encounters the target, is that still ‘ballistic’?

  6. Rebel Scum

    When Gayle asked a lone plainclothes officer why he was being stopped, the officer did not appear to answer before uniformed backup rushed in.

    If you are not in uniform I am going to go about my business and not acknowledge your existence.

    • sloopyinca

      That might work where you’re from but in New York City it will result in a bullet in your back four bystanders being shot and you still being arrested, but now charged with four counts of manslaughter.

  7. straffinrun

    The former concentration camp guard, who moved to the US in 1959, is still collecting a pension from Germany

    Nice.

    • Not Adahn

      Wouldn’t it be terribly ironic if he brought coronavirus with him to Germany?

    • Drake

      If my math is correct, he was 19 in 1945. Was he really an SS killer or just some kid they drafted and handed a gun? Seems like they ran out of actual Nazi war criminals and are just chasing down old men who wore the uniform.

      too many red pills

      • UnCivilServant

        I predict the next one to make the news will have been a 16-yo volkssturm conscript in 1945.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah at this point, the actual architects of the Shoah are dead. Some got what they deserved, others managed to escape justice. At this point, the governments of the world are just virtue signaling by locking up some guy who was 17 or 18 in 1945 and didn’t have any real choice in the matter.

        Probably talking twice daily formations and a locked up barracks, I highly doubt he was issued more than 40 rounds for a shitty war production 98, hell I doubt he even got leave so I’m not sure he could have escaped at any time. He was a prisoner, like all people in a totalitarian regime are. Yeah sure he could have shot Herr Oberst, shot another guard, and then died.

        If the standard for moral behavior is suicidal bravery and sacrifice, then how many of us are moral? When the Japanese-Americans were interned, how many protested? How many marched on the internment camps with signs? How many Americans wrote their Congressmen? Not many, as far as I know, and that was in America. FDR wouldn’t have had protesters shot out of hand if they had camped outside of Manzanar or Gila River.

        But an 18 year old German kid raised from birth in a Nazi state is supposed to buck against every bit of indoctrination and training hes received since birth and perform a suicidal act of defiance that won’t actually change anything?

      • Jarflax

        I agree with you, but I understand the hate the others feel and why they feel as they do. It is unreasonable to put people on trial for failing to be a heroic martyr. It is also unreasonable to expect people whose families were exterminated like lice for the ‘crime’ of having the wrong ancestry to be just in their attitudes toward those who did the exterminating.

      • Tundra

        I’ve been listening to the Jocko podcast tarran linked yesterday with the Auschwitz survivor. I am quickly moving to sympathy for those who want to exact justice even at this late date.

      • Viking1865

        I think that, at this late date, you’re not getting any actual kind of justice. WWII ended 75 years ago. The most hard charging, bright young SS officer with actual drive, dedication, and authority to murder Jews would be 100 years old. Even 20 years ago, you could find plenty of men who were mid level officers and bureaucrats who knew what they were doing and had both the means and the intellectual capacity to sabotage the regime, or to flee.

        This shit is just being done because Nazis are bad and hey we found a Nazi. They’re not rigorously digging through Vietnamese immigrants looking for war criminals. They’re not rigorously looking through Russian immigrants looking for former Gulag guards. Hell, we could probably find some guys in the US who were 27, 28, 29 year old in the former Yugoslavia who knew damn well what a multiethnic society was, who don’t even have the excuse of being brainwashed from birth.

      • creech

        Wasn’t George Soros in that category?

      • UnCivilServant

        I think he was older than that.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Were people actually drafted into the SS or was that a volunteer position once they’d been drafted into the Wehrmacht?

      • Count Potato

        If he was just a guard, he wasn’t a criminal.

      • sloopyinca

        I disagree. If all you did was make sure people stayed in cages until they could be exterminated, you’re participating in the extermination process. You’re a war criminal.

      • Drake

        So why did we bother taking prisoners in 1944-45? We should have killed everyone who was ever a “guard”?

      • straffinrun

        Times like this make your avatar choice interesting.

      • Los Doyers

        I’m sure that’s not intentional.

      • Los Doyers

        Where did sloopy make the claim that we should’ve killed all the guards?

      • Festus

        Harrumph! There were a few times that the liberating soldiers let the inmates lynch the guards. Fuckit, he’s a doddering old man that probably doesn’t remember. Just let him die.

      • Festus

        Goddamn. I loved those old crazy stoner flicks from by-gone days but Caddyshack left me cold. We had just taken up golf as a hobby at the time.

      • sloopyinca

        They were taken in battle. You don’t summarily execute people captured during battle.
        They should have been tried and convicted of war crimes.

      • leon

        They were taken in battle. You don’t summarily execute people captured during battle.

        Maybe you don’t, but i’m pretty sure the Waffen SS does.

      • Festus

        The Canadians were infamous for that. We’re so nice… Letterkenny and Trailer Park Boys are a thing.

      • Drake

        The behavior of the Waffen SS towards natives and prisoners varied wildly by unit.

      • Festus

        The vast majority of the Waffen SS were just soldiers.

      • sloopyinca

        The behavior of the Waffen SS towards natives and prisoners varied wildly by unit.

        Hey, look guys. I know what you think. But I was in one of the good Death’s Head units.

      • Festus

        “Are we the Baddies?’

      • Old Man With Candy

        Many soldiers did that, and were indeed put on trial when they were caught.

        There’s a reason that there’s no moral equivalence here.

      • Count Potato

        Was that participation voluntary?

      • Old Man With Candy

        Since he was guarding the folks that were busy turning my family into bars of soap, my view on his culpability might be a touch more harsh than yours.

      • mindyourbusiness

        I can understand that point of view. Likely some of my distant relatives contributed to the Nazi’s gold hoard. Quite involuntarily.

      • sloopyinca

        Dude, if you worked at a concentration camp, you’re a war criminal. And you deserve to rot in a cage.

      • invisible finger

        Dude, he was 19. He needed a safe space.

      • Not Adahn

        My grandfather died in Treblinka. He fell out of a guard tower.

      • Drake

        What will actually happen is that he will go to “Youth Court” because he was under 21 at the time – then they’ll decide if they should go through with the farce of trying a 94-year-old as a juvenile.

      • sloopyinca

        I don’t care. Perhaps the strain of the process will kill him. Either way, he doesn’t belong in America enjoying our free society. Fuck him.

      • Drake

        Okay. I say we apply the same standards to anyone whoever helped communists or jihadists. The commies racked up a much higher body-count.

      • sloopyinca

        I have no problem with this.

      • invisible finger

        I’d rather take out my revenge by stopping SJW assholes who literally support the same policies as Nazis. YMMV.

      • Los Doyers

        He was an armed guard at a camp where almost 43,000 were slaughtered. Seems pretty evil to me. And it’s not like he couldn’t have defected and surrendered himself to the approaching Allied forces if he truly believed he was in the wrong.

      • Swiss Servator

        He was probably just following orders, eh?

        At 19, I was an E-3 in the Army, and if I was told to forcemarch people to death, I would have deserted.

    • sloopyinca

      “Yes, the Nazis did bad things. Nobody is debating that. But the pension system they left Germany with can’t be overlooked.”
      -Bernie Sanders

      • invisible finger

        Bern is the founding member of Jews For Hitler.

      • Drake

        I thought that was Soros? – Who arguably could be tried as a juvenile war criminal.

      • Swiss Servator

        But the 19 yoa SS guard…?

      • Drake

        Both if you are going after every “cog in the wheel”.

      • Rebel Scum

        And the trains ran on time.

    • leon

      If my memory serves correctly, i think Germany still pays some money to collaborators in the Netherlands.

      • Drake

        The Waffen SS was the first stab at an EU Army.

      • creech

        One of my Rhineland ancestors marched into Russia with the Grande Armee and managed to make it back home and lived to a ripe old age in the Vaterland.

    • straffinrun

      Think we got off track here. It’s easier to extradite a Former Nazi concentration camp guard than it is to take away his pension.

    • CPRM

      REALLY? No one here reacts to a voice synthesizer trained to speak like Trump doing the Navy Seal Copypasta? For shame! I that you were sphisticated!

  8. Rebel Scum

    These people want raises?

    I have a raise for “teachers” unions but they aren’t going to like it.

  9. Rebel Scum

    Spike Lee, you ignorant pos.

    Spike Lee, the Hollywood film director also known for his stupid political opinions, got on Instagram to mock Donald Trump’s meeting with black leaders. Comparing these Republican black Americans to slaves, Lee wrote, “Massa, we love you Massa. We gonna pray fo’ you Massa. Singing- ‘swing low sweet chariot.'”

    • invisible finger

      How much of Weinstein’s money did Spike beg for in the past?

    • Festus

      I get a whiff of racism from Spike Lee. I don’t watch his films but if I ever thought of doing so, shit like this closed that book in a jiffy.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      Trump should deschedule MJ and push for its legalization. Obviously, because it is the right thing to do, but the heads that would explode would be a nice touch too.

      • Festus

        It’s the smart play but he’s a tee-totaller so I don’t see that happening unless it was was a really strategic thing to do.

      • Tonio

        If it does happen it will be a second-term move. And probably only if the Dems start making MJ a national issue.

    • straffinrun

      Do the Right Thing was basically a rejection of this type of thinking. Spike Lee must really hate his younger self.

      • Festus

        Spike Lee hates everyone not named Spike Lee.

      • UnCivilServant

        Spike Lee hates everyone not named Spike Lee.

        FIFY

      • invisible finger

        Or maybe Spike has has always been completely full of shit.

      • straffinrun

        Do the Right Thing was a good flick. *Shrugs*

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        John Turturro makes everything he’s in good, even Barton Fink.

      • straffinrun

        Same with Danny Vowel or whatever his name is.

      • Not Adahn

        Trejo?

      • straffinrun

        Danny Aeioullo.

      • Rhywun

        *snort*

        Yeah, Danny Aiello was great.

      • Grummun

        I thought Hudson Hawk was funny.

      • Festus

        Good God I wanted to like that movie but it was really the terrible-awful. I’m a big fan of JJL but it was just bad.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It appealed to my inner pretentious prick even though I’m still not sure what it was about to be honest.

      • Rhywun

        It was. And he’s been riding it ever since.

      • Gadfly

        An artist doesn’t have to be a good person to make great art. You can both be right.

  10. Nephilium

    Mother fucker! I thought we were rid of the gnome.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      He’s so small that a women in the background still looms large over him.

      It’s like she is photoshoped in the background by a 2nd grader with no understanding of perspective.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        Wait, that’s his wife?

        I am adrift in a world of confusion.

      • Festus

        He just crawls inside and does the hokey-pokey. It’s a seemingly happy union.

      • Brett L

        He may be a gnome, but he must be tripodean.

      • Chipwooder

        Yep, somehow that garden gnome looking motherfucker ended up marrying a much younger, statuesque redhead.

      • robc

        It is why I have always been a fan of his. I wouldn’t vote for him or anything.

    • Ted S.

      I thought he was dead,

      • Nephilium

        What? He’s still younger then Biden!

      • ChipsnSalsa

        Now we know what happened to Mr. Lizard.

      • Festus

        Just burrowed into mud to wait for SMOD. He’ll emerge as the master race. I miss that guy and all of the hot rock jokes.

      • Swiss Servator

        … oh @#$% I knew I forgot something.

        *looks for extension cord*

  11. leon

    Just read one of the most infuriating articles (because of the content, not the article) from TOS. Red Flag laws are an abomination to freedom and due process. In this case, Cops bought a story hook line and sinker from an estranged wife, did no extra investigation, brought her story as evidence to the court and got an RPO issued.

    • Rebel Scum

      from an estranged wife

      Speaking of red flags…

      • Festus

        *shudders*

      • Festus

        It doesn’t have to be firearms, it can be any old damn thing. Judicial creep.

  12. Pat

    Why your internet habits are not as clean as you think

    Although the energy needed for a single internet search or email is small, approximately 4.1 billion people, or 53.6% of the global population, now use the internet. Those scraps of energy, and the associated greenhouse gases emitted with each online activity, can add up.

    The carbon footprint of our gadgets, the internet and the systems supporting them account for about 3.7% of global greenhouse emissions, according to some estimates. It is similar to the amount produced by the airline industry globally, explains Mike Hazas, a researcher at Lancaster University. And these emissions are predicted to double by 2025.

    If we were to rather crudely divide the 1.7 billion tonnes (1.6 billion tons) of greenhouse gas emissions estimated to be produced in the manufacture and running of digital technologies between all internet users around the world, it means each of us is responsible for 400g (14oz) of carbon dioxide a year.

    But things are not that simple – this figure can vary depending where in the world you are. Internet users in some parts of the globe will have a disproportionately large footprint. One study estimated that 10 years ago, the average Australian internet user was responsible for the equivalent of 81kg (179lbs) of carbon dioxide (CO2e) being emitted into the atmosphere. Improvements in energy efficiency, economies of scale and use of renewable energy will doubtless have reduced this, but it is clear that people in developed nations still account for the majority of the internet’s carbon footprint. (CO2e is a unit used to express the carbon footprint of all greenhouse gases together as if they were all emitted as carbon dioxide)

    For some, the realisation that their online activity is harming the planet has spurred them into taking action.

    • invisible finger

      This is why I pay bills by check in the snail mail.

    • UnCivilServant

      I want more plant food in the air.

    • Festus

      All that they need to do is harness the untold energy of Fapping and we’d be well on our way to Utopia.

    • Nephilium

      Do they realize that the backup batteries are filled with toxic chemicals, and the backup generators most likely run on diesel or propane?

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re assuming they’re logically consistant.

    • Breet Pharara

      I already do my part and watch all my porn in 144p.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s the 21st century, you can get a new monitor.

        They even make them in color these days.

      • Festus

        I watch my porn on cave walls and with tiny figurines.

      • UnCivilServant

        So you got the projector working again?

      • straffinrun

        PlatoHub?

      • Shirley Knott

        Polite applause

      • Festus

        ^^^ yep

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I believe…

      • Jarflax

        PlatoHub is why no matter how many philosophers tell people about the wonders outside the cave, most people stay put.

    • Not Adahn

      Why your internet habits are not as clean as you think

      I blame HM.

      • Festus

        Aw, c’mon! Vulfpeck is a solid band and – OMIGOD what did I just see? DELETE DELETE DELETE

    • Chipwooder

      For some, the realisation that their online activity is harming the planet has spurred them into taking action.

      Action, like jumping off a bridge? Hopefully?

    • Gadfly

      For some, the realisation that their online activity is harming the planet has spurred them into taking action.

      Good. I’m glad that the people who fall for this won’t be taking up space online.

    • Festus

      #14 and #48

  13. Rebel Scum

    Charles Darwin strikes again?

    Ireland experienced its first venomous snake bite in history in the lead-up to Saint Patrick’s Day, The Irish Post reported. Saint Patrick, the man credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland, also expelled all snakes from the island, according to legend. But he seems unable to prevent the importation of snakes — even venomous ones — if the Irish fail to honor his legendary legacy.

    So Connolly Hospital must have been surprised to receive a 22-year-old Dublin man who had been bitten by a venomous snake late last month. The Dubliner reportedly owns a venomous puff adder, one of the most aggressive and dangerous snakes. The breed is commonly found in Morocco and Western Arabia and is responsible for more snake bite deaths than any other African snake.

    James Hennessy, director of the National Reptile Zoo, said this was the first time a medical professional requested anti-venom from his establishment.

      • UnCivilServant

        And it was in the quote.

        I need to slow down.

        Zzzzz….

    • leon

      I remember learning about St Patrick chasing the snakes out of Ireland in public school. I wonder if they can still tell that story these days?

      • Not Adahn

        Um…. they talked about a Saint in public schools?

        ZOMG my “wall of separation!”

        And don’t even get me started about McAffee’s “McAffee 2020: Dear God, Please Wake UP”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      People who own poisonous snakes as pets deserve what they get and sooner or later they all get it.

      • Not Adahn

        “You knew was a viper when you took me in.”

      • leon

        ^^^^ THE SNAKE AND THE LITTLE INDIAN BOY!!!

        I TOLD YOU FOLKS IT WAS REAL!

      • Festus

        Nope. It will always be the frog and the scorpion. Funnily enough, I remember “Just So Stories” and the tale of “How the Rhinoceros Got Its Hide”. Reminds me of sleeping in a sandy bed when I was much older. Worth it? At the time, I suppose.

      • Jarflax

        Isn’t it interesting that the more power the multi cultis get the less we are actually exposed to other cultures? Just So stories and Uncle Rhemus have been declared racist and banished to outer darkness, because…? How dare these people who lived in societies with actual white supremacy see the value in the stories of the subject race and collect them!

      • Festus

        Waterbed. Topped with sand. Totally worth it.

      • Festus

        Me: “This is really uncomfortable.” She: “Keep going!” Me: “I’m gonna cum!” She: “I just did!” Not one of my finer moments.

    • leon

      People who celebrate abortions are horrific monsters.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This is the natural result of the left taking the stance that abortion is not in any way up for discussion either morally or legally.

        It’s fundamentally sick, and I say that as someone who thinks that abortion should be safe, legal, and very rare.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Looks like Ashley Judd has passed the crazy torch.

    • invisible finger

      Pulling out all the stops trying to relieve the guilty conscience that won’t go away.

    • SugarFree

      I’ve hated her since Freaks and Geeks. She’s like every person I’ve ever found annoying wadded up in big ugly clump of braying shitflakes.

      • leon

        I feel like a lost tourist in callcuta when comparing my prose with SugarFree’s way with word.s

      • Rhywun

        Freaks and Geeks

        Oh, right. I thought she was in Wilson Phillips or something.

        She was great in that show. And then… nothing happened, apparently.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Her or Lena Dunham?

      • SugarFree

        Oddly, I find Dunham a little less annoying. She at least exhibits some awareness that people find her annoying; Phillips thinks she’s gorgeous and fabulous.

      • Ted S.

        Phillips didn’t molest her sister as far as I know.

      • Festus

        Looks just like my best friend from high school. She was not a cunt but I see where you are going with this.

    • Brett L

      Darlin’, you’re not THAT hot.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        And apparently she’s a shitstain of a person.

    • straffinrun

      She lost me at ovulation.

    • Chipwooder

      I have no idea who she is, but holy sheepshit does she ever come across as a deranged lunatic in that clip.

    • Festus

      That time that Mom made me clean up all those balled-up socks when I was 13? It made me a better man. What a cunte.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Also, is it possible she would have been more successful with her child? She’s not exactly an A-lister.

      • Chipwooder

        Sofia Vergara had a kid when she was a teenager and her career seems to have gone rather well.

    • Agent Cooper

      I wish her name was Quiet Phillips.

  14. Pat

    Twitch suspends gamer Carl Reimer after shooting gun

    A video-game streamer has been suspended from Twitch and dropped from his e-sports team after accidentally firing a gun while broadcasting live.

    Carl Reimer, a professional streamer, accidentally fired his gun while brandishing it as a joke.

    Reimer said he thought he had emptied the bullets from the Glock pistol.

    “I was clearly intoxicated, but the fact of the matter is… guns are not a toy. They are not to be messed with,” he said later, in a filmed apology.

    Reimer is a popular personality on YouTube and Twitter, and had more than 100,000 followers on Twitch – the Amazon-owned live streaming platform – before being suspended.

    In the live footage, Reimer is seen playing Call of Duty, before pausing to pretend to threaten someone with his handgun. He appeared to empty the chamber, but a bullet remained.

    No-one was harmed in the incident in which the bullet tore through a metal cup, ricocheted and destroyed a computer monitor.

    Shortly afterwards, Reimer’s channel on Twitch was suspended. His gaming team, SoaR, also tweeted that it had dropped him.

    • leon

      He’s a dipshit.

      • Not Adahn

        And apparently a prime candidate for FBI recruitment.

      • Nephilium

        I mean, if you’re a trained professional, nothing could go wrong while holding a Glock.

      • Jarflax

        Wasn’t that guy DEA?

      • Not Adahn

        The “I’m the only one in this room qualified” guy, or the “dance moves” guy?

      • Jarflax

        “I’m the only one in this room qualified”

        I don’t know the dance moves guy?

      • leon

        The agent was taken into custody on June 2 before being released to an FBI supervisor.

        Isn’t that nice.

      • Jarflax

        He picked the gun up by the trigger. How the hell do you… I guess you have to be a trained law enforcement officer to hit that level of stupid.

    • leon

      Further, i’m sure this will further the idea that Guns are just “super dangerous” and “Liable to go off” in the minds of the uneducated masses.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Two of my wife’s aunts got drunk and were playing around with a unloaded rifle. For some unknown reason, one aunt looked directly down the barrel. Two seconds later, after moving her head out of the line of fire, an accidental discharge put a bullet through the floor.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Paul Krugman✔
    @paulkrugman

    About Warren: deeply sad. She was the candidate of ideas, the best hope we had of getting a strongly progressive agenda actually enacted. Plus enormous energy and personal charm. What happened? Well, sexism was a big deal, probably the most important thing 1/

    Sure, like a manic, overbearing and controlling aunt.

    • leon

      1. Paul Krugman keeps casting his lot with the wrong horse in these things. HRC seemed like such a sure bet too.

      2. the best hope we had of getting a strongly progressive agenda actually enacted.

      Warren has done pretty well at creating this mythology that she was somehow the only progressive that could be effective. Sanders is just so ineffective.

      3. Well, sexism was a big deal, probably the most important thing

      Stop. You are making sexism look like a good thing.

    • SugarFree

      Do they think if they keep saying Elizabeth Warren is charming, she will somehow become charming? Are they really just attempting to cast a spell?

      • Tonio

        Ultimately, spell.

        But in a sense they are trying to gaslight us by telling us to deny the evidence of our own eyes and ears, the peevish schoolmarm lectures.

      • SugarFree

        I often wonder if they aren’t trying harder to convince themselves.

      • leon

        It’s kinda like an incantation that has to be muttered in order to maintain it’s energy.

      • Festus

        She’s the Beldam.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Krugnuts: “Elizabeth Warren is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

      • Shirley Knott

        That speaks much more loudly to the qualities of his friendship circle than it does to the asserted qualities of Warren.
        What a sad life if true.

      • Jarflax

        Why not? They have half of the population convinced that racism is a major issue today and that women are oppressed in the most female privileged culture in human history. The spell works.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Of course Krugabe would find her charming. Her personality is quite similar to his, condescending and schoolmarmish.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t believe it for a second. None of these control freaks actually “like” each other. They are all back-stabbing vultures with no conscience.

      • Festus

        Ah, Rhywun. A man after my own heart! #nohomo

    • ttyrant

      I am getting a kick out of all these articles blaming sexism and misogyny for Warren’s failure. Democrats are largely the ones voting in these primaries. Why are Democratic voters so damn sexist and misogynistic?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This is the feminazis trying to guilt everyone else in the party to cede to their demands.

        But what they’ll say is that Trump has corrupted the national discourse.

      • straffinrun

        Guilt tripping. That is exactly what the feminists are masters of.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, the blaming and guilt-tripping actually works on other Democrats.

      • straffinrun

        Heh. I see we’ve encountered some of the same wamens.

      • Festus

        My ex was the Mistress of Pain. Majored in Sociology, minored in gelding. Oh what fun!

      • straffinrun

        At least she’s you could get a divorce. I can’t divorce my sister. I’m not Ilhan Omar.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Seriously. I mean she is a slightly less destructive Bernie Sanders, so she has that going for her. Check with your own party dumbass.

    • Winston's Mom

      Paul Krugman✔
      @paulkrugman

      About Warren: deeply sad. She was the candidate of ideas, the best hope we had of getting a strongly progressive agenda actually enacted. Plus enormous energy and personal charm. What happened? Well, sexism was a big deal, probably the most important thing 1/

      You know what will help you Paul?

      – Find a leather belt
      – Wrap the belt around your neck
      – tie he other end of the belt on a bathroom door
      – start rubbing one out

    • UnCivilServant

      There is nothing in the evidence presented that indicates the person spraying febreeze said anything about Wuhan.

      Postulate – was this instead a complaint about the other passenger’s body odor and had nothing to do with disease or race?

      • straffinrun

        No kidding. Run of the mill subway disagreement. But it’s “alarming”.

      • Sensei

        Wait… You have Asian men on your subways too?

      • straffinrun

        I don’t see race. Except for that time I told a Japanese guy who didn’t speak a word of English to go ask my African American lady co worker, “Where the white women at?” I heard her howling all the way down the hall.

      • Sensei

        白人の女性は、どこに?

      • straffinrun

        Pretty sure he would’ve understood that.

      • Rhywun

        Run of the mill subway disagreement.

        ^This

        And this is what you get when your staff spends all day trawling Youtube and Instagram for “news”.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        True. But kind of like Crown Heights, the perennial tension between Blacks and Asians in US urban areas is under-reported. Google “Korean nail salons in the ghetto” for a taste.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, the MSM have no interest in touching that third rail.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        That having been said, in my personal take, it seems like a non-trivial amount of people are taking advantage of the pandemic to act on long held racial/ethnic grievances, be it “You people are taking my jobs!” to “You people are opening too many businesses in my neighborhood!”.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That was to be expected. Hatred and distrust of the outgroup always goes up in a crisis.

      • R C Dean

        People harboring grievances will reach for any stick that comes to hand.

      • Sensei

        In that case things in NYC should get real interesting as the Coronavirus is now making its way into the Orthodox Jewish community.

        (Different areas for the moment, however.)

    • Animal

      Is retarded contagious?

      Watch C-SPAN for a few minutes, and you’ll see the answer is clearly “yes.”

    • SugarFree

      Brett says that he’s definitely dumber for hanging you with you clowns.

    • leon

      Was this one of them inbread hicks that had made their way into the city?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        *shrugs*

        Plenty of black folk from the country.

      • Jarflax

        And by the way, black dudes in the rural south is the actual answer to yesterday’s best BBQ debate. Hands down, no argument. If you are driving through any Confederate State, or even Kentucky, and you see a big fat old black man standing next to a beat up and scorched smoker with a crowd around him and a hand painted sign. Stop and eat.

      • banginglc1

        Concur.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        No argument from me.

      • leon

        Geeze HM. It was a joke, Don’t bust my balls.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I know it was a joke.

        Still going to bust balls though. It’s what you pay me for.

      • leon

        You know how i Like it.

      • Gadfly

        Still going to bust balls though. It’s what you pay me for.

        I’d bet you’d do it for free. Leon is getting ripped off.

    • Festus

      Nope. Contingent.

  16. commodious spittoon

    Now, if we could just figure out what the actual number of people who were infected is…which is impossible, since a shitload of people never reported it and simply got better.

    I felt a little woozy yesterday, then I got better. #survivor

    • leon

      I was 10 towns over from a guy who got the coronovirus #Survivor #JustLIkeDavidHogg

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

    • Rebel Scum

      I have a theory that if you keep your bac high enough you won’t catch any virus. IOW fight Coronavirus with Corona.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’ll die of water poisoning first.

      • Not Adahn

        Beer, like Brawndo, has electrolytes.

      • Brawndo

        It’s rude to talk about people behind their backs like that.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do you not have beer-like electrolytes?

      • Swiss Servator

        Word is, plants crave you.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We were discussing that this morning. The risk to my business is if someone gets diagnosed, they’re going to shut us down for a couple of weeks. We simply couldn’t operate it from home.

      Trying to draw up a contingency plan of sorts this weekend.

      • straffinrun

        All my govt jobs are cancelled for the month. My private work is booming. Glad I’ve got so many pokers in the fire. #Resist

      • Jarflax

        You do private interogations?

      • Not Adahn

        You’re still able to get a lot of poking done with the little one home from school?

      • banginglc1

        The euphemisms are getting creepier.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        shoot, shovel, shut up.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      So she’s not going to ruin her lefty cred by endorsing Biden but she’s going to attack Sanders while maintaining plausible deniability. The woman is a walking farce.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Biden is the easier one to manipulate.

    • Tonio

      “Sorry you’re so sad.”

    • Chipwooder

      As I’ve seen several people ask elsewhere…..Klobuchar dropped out only a few days before Lieawatha – why aren’t there overwrought articles being written about how misogynistic voters were for rejecting her, too?

      • Tonio

        She had very few supporters outside of pragmatists and party insiders. Warren had her army of True Believers.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yep. The young women who believed in Clinton moved over to Warren. Every homely feminist on every college campus included.

      • Chipwooder

        Oh, sure. I just enjoyed someone pointing out the logical inconsistency.

      • Rhywun

        Warren had her army of True Believers.

        Betty Bras.

      • Festus

        if it were “Bettie Page” bras then she might have gone places.

  17. Rebel Scum

    The Nonconsent of the Governed

    The urban-rural problem waxes; it is like a bad marriage and the only solution is a divorce. But while the rural “man” would happily leave the marriage on reasonable terms and peaceably, the urban “woman” will never allow the “man” to leave.

    It begs the question about consent of the governed – the supposed basis for legitimate government (assuming for the sake of discussion such a thing exists).

    The answer to this question pretty much establishes the illegitimacy of the government.

    In my home state of Virginia, for example, the rural (and geographic) majority of the state does not consent to being disarmed and criminalized by the government in Richmond – which represents Richmond and Northern Virginia.

    90-plus percent of the state’s counties oppose the slew of gun confiscation/criminalization measures proposed and likely to be imposed upon them. The people of these rural counties did not consent to any of this. And they have no say in any of this – because the state government is controlled by the urban population centers, whose concentrated numbers give them a virtual lock on the state’s governing apparatus. The 90-plus percent geographic majority outside the urban hives of Richmond and Northern Virginia can vote but it’s becoming as meaningless a gesture as voting in the old Soviet Union, where there was one candidate on the ballot – and no option to say no.

    • SugarFree

      It begs the question about consent of the governed

      RAISES! IT RAISES THE QUESTION! GAH!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        For all intensive purposes, we understood him.

      • Not Adahn

        intents and porpoises.

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought it was in tents porpoises.

      • SugarFree

        🙂

        It’s just one of my pet peeves. It dilutes the logical fallacy that you see all the time.

      • Rebel Scum

        Irregardless…

      • Jarflax

        Look the tenants of the belief are cut and dry!

      • grrizzly

        Most of the time people use “to beg the question” incorrectly. This battle has been lost.

      • Rhywun

        ✋ Guilty

    • Drake

      Pol Pot for Governor!

    • Ted S.

      Oh dear, you’ve gone and lit the HM signal.

  18. Pat

    RIP SETI@home

    SETI@home has announced that they will no longer be distributing new work to clients starting on March 31st as they have enough data and want to focus on completing their back-end analysis of the data.

    SETI@home is a distributed computing project where volunteers contribute their CPU resources to analyze radio data from the Arecibo radio telescope in Puerto Rico and the Green Bank Telescope in West Virginia for signs of extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI).

    Run by the Berkeley SETI Research Center since 1999, SETI@home has been a popular project where people from all over the world have been donating their CPU resources to process small chunks of data, or “jobs”, for interesting radio transmissions or anomalies. This data is then sent back to the researchers for analysis.

    In an announcement posted yesterday, the project stated that they will no longer send data to SETI@home clients starting on March 31st, 2020 as they have reached a “point of diminishing returns” and have analyzed all the data that they need for now.

    Instead, they want to focus on analyzing the back-end results in order to publish a scientific paper.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      In other words, they’ve mined enough bitcoins to retire on.

      • leon

        Dangit!

      • Sensei

        I’d like all the environmentalists to understand exactly how much electricity this project consumed during its lifetime.

        (Not that I personally have an issue with this.)

    • leon

      They had enough data 10 years ago, but have been secretly Mining bitcoin since 2012

    • commodious spittoon

      back-end analysis

      Q links?

      • ChipsnSalsa

        That’s more HM territory.

      • Not Adahn

        Depends if you mean topology or taste.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sounds like she withdrew consent after the fact. Guilty!

    • commodious spittoon

      the unnamed Hispanic student “John Doe”

      Is it culturally insensitive to call the college a lawsuit pinata?

      • Chipwooder

        Racist! Why not Juan Ciervo?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I read thru it.

      They’ve legally weaponized hurt feelings and are encouraging young women to use it.

      The backlash against the feminists is going to be ugly when it finally comes.

      • Festus

        I’d have been a dead duck at 13.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They would have gotten me freshman year, just because I was stupid when it came to women.

      • banginglc1

        I kissed a girl names Amy behind her parents shed at 5 years old. She told all her friends. I was embarrassed and never talked to her again (they moved a couple years later). Does this mean I can never be on the supreme court?

      • straffinrun

        How old were you? Early 30’s at the latest, I hope.

      • banginglc1

        I was 5 then too . . . .I didn’t get a full sized van until high school.

      • Festus

        No shame. I was always smooching girls. T’was fun!

    • Count Potato

      “Sally initiated the relationship with John in November 2016, telling “a number of her friends” before their first dinner that she was interested in him. She told him on a walk after dinner that she had “never kissed a boy” owing to the “restrictive cultural norms in her home country.”

      John asked for Sally’s permission to kiss her in his dorm room, and she agreed. The kissing escalated to “consensual touching” while fully clothed.

      Two days later she sent him a message saying “I’ve liked you quite a lot” and calling their amorous encounter “amazing.” She apologized for “being so weird and awkward the entire time.””

      Well, if that’s not rape, I don’t know what is.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Additionally, they assigned John Doe an attorney who buys into the legal rationale that the college is using and probably helped set it up. He was fucked from the getgo.

      Allyson has more than fifteen years of experience working with primary and secondary schools, as well as colleges and universities, to prevent and respond to sexual and other forms of discrimination. Over the past several years, Allyson has worked with higher education institutions to advise on the creation and revision of Title IX policies and procedures. In addition, she has conducted more than 100 investigations of sexual misconduct. Allyson has also advised institutions on responding to audits conducted by the federal Department of Education, Office of Civil Rights.

    • leon

      This all reads like a parody. It reads so bad that i don’t know why the College even bothers fighting it.

    • invisible finger

      The lesson learned: Be a racist in action but not in word.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Why does the College Fix have a problem with that? Sounds like old fashioned ’50s Christian morality. You drink the milk, you buy the cow.

      Oh, the female is a foreigner.

      Slut.

      • R C Dean

        Sounds like old fashioned ’50s Christian morality.

        I’ve heard enough stories from my parents, who were (a) raised in typical-to-conservative households and (b) dating, etc. during the ’50s, that I’m pretty sure one or two dates with kissing and maybe a little grabby-grabby were pretty much the norm, and did not carry an expectation of going steady or getting married. Its true that their families didn’t frequent snake-handling, speaking-in-tongues churches, though.

        I think the current feminists have left the uptight bougie ’50s in the dust when it comes to sexual prudery.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I think the current feminists have left the uptight bougie ’50s in the dust when it comes to sexual prudery.

        No doubt. There is a bit of Baptists and bootleggers in all of this, you have to admit. I can definitely see this same story happening in a Liberty University-type place with their “honor code”. But, I doubt you’d see it reported in the College Fix.

      • R C Dean

        There is a bit of Baptists and bootleggers in all of this, you have to admit.

        “You got your wokeness in my fundamentalism!

        “You got your fundamentalism in my wokeness!”

        Two great tastes, etc.

      • Gadfly

        Oh, the female is a foreigner.

        In fairness, the male is a foreigner too, so if there’s any biased reasoning going on here it’s misogyny. But I doubt that’s the case, I’d imagine the real reason the Fix has a problem with it is that the decision was based not on some pre-established code of conduct (which a private school should have every right to have, no matter how ridiculous) but on Title IX.

    • invisible finger

      I don’t get it. The girl is obviously a whore.

  19. robc

    Some of you have inspired me. I had two story ideas in my head and realize they combine nicely into one. So I am trying to write it. I realized two things — I don’t have 70k words inside me, so I couldn’t write a novel even if I wanted to. But, since I have no interest in publishing anyway, I don’t need to follow any kind of convention. I have completed “chapter” 1, I am still heavily editing it. I may release it into the wild (here) once I have a few more chapters in place and am sure it isnt going to die on the vine. It is 823 words, so short for a chapter for anyone not named Dan Brown.

    But I just not wordy enough. I think I am a short story at best kind of guy, but some of my ideas dont fit that either. So, this one is more novella of many small chapters.

    Anyway, if I do release it, I will see if it is something people here like and will release more bits.

    • SugarFree

      Don’t worry about length. With any sort of electronic self-publishing (assuming you want to pursue it) length has sort of fallen by the wayside. Novellas and novelettes sell just as well as doorstops.

      • robc

        I really have no interest in reaching a target audience beyond glibertopia.

      • straffinrun

        Hire a ghostwriter. 😛

      • UnCivilServant

        Me: “Here’s your manuscript”

        robc: “This is just a three hundred thousand word rant against land taxes.”

        Me: “I guess someone might notice you didn’t write it.”

      • straffinrun

        I’ll do it for robc. Softcore porn vibe.

      • Nephilium

        “Why are all of these words pixelated?”

      • robc

        And honestly, most of my best ideas are hated here.

      • Pat

        Don’t worry about length.

        That’s what she said!

      • Chipwooder

        You sonofabitch…..

      • Chipwooder

        Don’t worry about length

        Oh, if only that had been what she said…..

      • Rebel Scum

        Don’t worry about length.

        I’m a little above average so I don’t worry.

      • Animal

        Don’t worry about length.

        True; girth is more important.

      • leon

        Why not both?

      • Mojeaux

        *cervix winces in pain*

      • mindyourbusiness

        Double your pleasure, double your fun…

    • invisible finger

      Make it a poem.

      • Not Adahn

        *Ahem*

        If
        You feel it’s obligatory
        To make the supererogatory mandatory
        You’re a prog

      • robc

        Hmmm….a series of sonnets on the single land tax?

      • robc

        Or Ogden Nash style, which is more my length.

        The single land tax is boss
        because it has no deadweight loss.

      • invisible finger

        I told you it was way easier.

    • Drake

      My neice has a classmate who was studying in Milan. She came home a few days ago and basically self-quarantined. Her family reached out to the Maine Department of Health to get tested and ask about how long to quarantine. The answer was “we don’t have any tests and it’s up to you”.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        So that’s the problem, we don’t have enough tests? That’s not good optics or in real life either.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The testing in this country is way behind due to a number of missteps, both technical and administrative.

        If you don’t test, you can’t have [confirmed] cases!

        /Japan and USA

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s an enormous mistake and a stupid thing to do, just moronic really.

    • Count Potato

      CWAA

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It looks like people in that thread are bitching that people aren’t being tested even though they aren’t sick. How much money do they think we have?

      • ChipsnSalsa

        8 billion by the bill they were trying to pass.

      • Drake

        Not sure the details of the tests, but that actually might be enough to lab test everyone in the country. What we would do with that information, I have no idea, particularly if we are still allowing international travel.

      • straffinrun

        These are people that need to be forced to do what’s right. It’s the only moral stance.

    • creech

      Lying, dog-faced pony soldier. Loved comment yesterday that Warren was a member of the Gimmegimme Tribe.

    • Jarflax

      I will scold no more forever.

  20. Scruffy Nerfherder

    So I’m contesting a $3K bill from a dealer service shop. I had my mechanic go thru their work and it appears they didn’t do half of what they said they did.

    I detailed the information in an email and sent it to the general manager, the service manager, and the service director.

    That was two days ago. I’ve heard nothing from them.

    I hate car dealerships.

    • Sensei

      Wow.

      Was this a work vehicle / light duty commercial or one something heavier duty?

      I had a dealer claim they serviced my rear differential and they didn’t. They gave me a bunch of crap and I said no worries I’ll change the fluid myself, document the process and send the oil out for analysis. And after that I’d have my lawyer reach out to them.

      They revised the bill after that.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dodge Ram 3500 delivery truck

        Typically, I would let one item out of several on a service ticket slide as a simple mistake, but this was way beyond the pale. Had I not caught it, the transmission could have failed.

        At that point I went and checked everything else they claimed they did and it was enlightening to say the least. Fluid changes not performed, filters not replaced, etc…

      • Sensei

        Lazy mechanic and/or slammed service. My guess is the owner and GM wouldn’t want this, but they don’t know it is happening.

        I’ve often wanted to see what happens if you pitch a fit in the middle of showroom.

      • Mojeaux

        what happens if you pitch a fit

        You get your money back, and pronto. Ask me how I know.

      • TARDIS

        Oh, I know alright. Believe you me. I have had some wonderful experiences at the local dealership with my Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodges. My “fit pitcher” goes nuclear in a heartbeat.

        Last bill was over $2k of defective electronics. They said my ESP was expired because the contract was improperly written. I told them my wife was seething in the my other car. ”Shall I invite her in?”

    • Hyperion

      “I hate car dealerships.”

      They don’t call them stealership for no reason.

      • Tundra

        Lol. I had been using the same independent mechanic for years when I got taken twice in a row by them. Started using the dealership and have ended up spending less and not getting the laundry list every time I go in there. the fact that i’ve bought three cars from them doesn’t hurt either.

        Like every industry, there are good and bad.

      • banginglc1

        I’m lucky we have always had a family friend as a mechanic. I can’t count the number of times he told me how much it was to fix something only to follow with “but I wouldn’t do it. The car just isn’t worth it. It’s safe to drive for now and if it gets worse, you’ll know”

        That’s a good mechanic.

        Also, he’s helped me out of a number of jams when I’m working on the car myself and don’t know what to do . . .all for free.

      • Mojeaux

        My Guy will also just flat refuse to work on my cars when he considers them too far gone. He also does not offer to “take it off my hands.”

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, find a good mechanic. If your car isn’t still under warranty, stay away from the stealership.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m putting a two post lift in our shop to taker over our own truck service. I’ve had as much as I can tolerate at this point.

        I recently had a year where I spent $50K on vehicle repair services.

      • Sensei

        BTW – take your email – print it out and send it certified mail to the dealership. Spend the money for a regular stamp and send it to Chrysler corporate as well. Note that you copied corporate in the letter to the dealership.

        I predict you’ll get a response within 48 hours. The issue is what do you do after that. I’m willing to bet they will adjust the bill and offer you discounted service. Problem is do you actually want the discounted future service.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Unless they offer a good explanation of what happened, why it’s a one off, and what they’ve done to prevent it in the future, there’s always going to be a question about their honesty.

      • Mojeaux

        Small claims court.

        I took HP to court and it was one of the most satisfying moments of my life.

    • Mojeaux

      they didn’t do half of what they said they did.

      I’m shocked. This is my shocked face.

      I, too, hate dealerships and anybody who’s not My Guy. Everybody should have A Guy.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        My guy is me. Anything short of tearing the engine apart, and I’ll do it. I’ve had too many shitty experiences to bother finding ‘a guy’ again.

      • Mojeaux

        How long are you going to be able to do that as the repairs become increasingly more computerized and you need special equipment to do it?

      • banginglc1

        That’s one of my fears. However, I’m hoping hooking up your own laptop becomes a reality in the future. Although, I’m not betting on it.

      • UnCivilServant

        “I’m sorry, but your $190Million license fee has not been paid, this car will not give you the diagnostic data.”

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        So far, very little of the repairs require anything more than an OBD reader ($20, Amazon).

        If there’s an ecu issue, I’ll just replace the whole damned thing. If there’s an ancillary electronics issue (backup cam, cabin electronics), most is modular and you just swap the bad part for the good part.

        Out of the 10 years I’ve been working on my own cars, I’ve had only one electronic issue. It’s a flaky backup cam on one of my cars. I haven’t fixed it yet because it’s not that big of an issue, and because I don’t want to pay $400 for a replacement camera.

        Today, just like in the past, cars break because their parts wear out (or have manufacturer defects).

      • Sensei

        Be interesting to see how long this keeps up.

        CAN bus is essentially weak/unsecured Ethernet. Now that everyone likes to start looking for attack vectors on networked intelligent controllers the OEMs have started securing communication across controllers.

        So you buy a new ABS controller, but it doesn’t have the security to talk with ECU if you don’t have the manufacturer software and a current subscription to allow you to code it to access the secured network within your car.

      • banginglc1

        I used to have a Mazda 3. the relay that runs the headlights was going bad. Literally a $2 relay. Except. It was integrated into the ECU which was 3 circuit boards that had about 150 solder points holding them together. The ECU cost $700 and about $300 to program, for a $2 relay. Luckily, the internet came to the rescue and told me how to bypass the relay and add it in line elsewhere.

      • Sensei

        I did most of my own work, but as I got older it got physically tougher to do. I still will do it, however.

        I was ecstatic when I found an honest independent mechanic. Totally worth paying his reasonable rates.

  21. Tundra

    Happy Friday, Sloopy!

    My hands are washed and the Wild shockingly moved into a playoff spot. I still don’t think they will be there at the end, but who the hell knows. Amazing what decent goaltending gets you.

    I hope everyone has a great weekend!

    • Nephilium

      Tomorrow is going to be interesting, they changed the early morning Saturday spin class I usually go to. The standard is a Performance class for 45 minutes, tomorrow they’ve added 15 minutes onto the class. My conditioning is much more to the marathons then the sprints, so I’ll need to think harder about when I want to push for a new maximum wattage (current is 850 based on the dashboard).

      • Festus

        Just keep sweating, Fat-Boy! Lay off the beer and you’ll be a hunka-hunka jerky just like me and Yusef. That’s great, man. I miss sports. When I was younger everything was a competition. Nowadays I only compete against myself.

      • Nephilium

        Down ~40 pounds from the start. Got within 5 pounds of the goal this week so far. It was almost nice enough to take the real bike out for a ride yesterday, and today it’s snowing. With DST changing the clocks, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get the real bike out for some rides before April. And I’m planning on suspending my spin membership for 6-months at the end of this month ($15 charge, but keeps me locked in at the cheap rates).

        The next two weeks will push me away from that though, travel for work for a week, and then St. Patrick’s Day.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        DST? Hahaha! Stay Warm, mein froind!

      • Tundra

        Great work, Neph!

        Your weather will get better in a couple days. Supposed to be in the 60s here this weekend!

      • Nephilium

        Yeah, checking the forecast, I may be able to get a ride in on Sunday. I fly out Monday for work though. Work travel seems to help me pack on pounds more then vacation.

    • Rhywun

      After the Rangers’ wild performance against the Caps last night… no, I’m not getting my hopes up either.

      • Chipwooder

        Zibby keeps scoring 5 a game and no one will stop us!!!!

      • Rhywun

        And Shesty returns tomorrow and stops every shot for the next 15 games!!

        /”it’s happening!”

      • Jerms

        Shesty never seems to lose.

      • Jerms

        Would love to get that spot from the Islanders after all the shit i heard from their fans in December.

      • Rhywun

        I think it was 8 wins in his first 9 games? Unreal.

    • Raven Nation

      One response: “It’s kill rate is lower than yours so I’m going to tough it out.”

    • Drake

      Why would he be shitting that much if he didn’t buy food?

    • Festus

      Looking at that “Granny Fist” I am both amused and a little aroused…

    • Hyperion

      @TheBabylonBee

      Warren Returns To Tribe In Shame After Failing To Take Land Back From The Pale Faces

      Lolololol

      • kinnath

        Uh, see post 29 above.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Drugs, Ass, you know…..

    • leon

      Breeche11
      @breeche11
      ·
      10h
      Replying to
      @ComfortablySmug
      Very few questioning the stories validity
      Thinking face

      I call this “Gullibility Trolling”. it’s where the Left (and right, but often it is the left) pretend to not get a joke so that they can act like the author is spreading fake news/hate/ etc.

      • Festus

        “thinking face” must be the most passive-aggressive comment on the inter-tubes. What a cunte.

  22. Hyperion

    The Candidate for REAL Change!

    Probably the longest running career politician alive today who can barely remember his own name, is the candidate for change.

    NYT is outdoing themselves these days.

    • leon

      If you want to oust President Donald Trump this fall and then achieve far-reaching changes such as universal health care, who should you vote for?

      So is Biden the centrist moderate you are posturing him as or is he just a Radical leftist who the establishment will control?

      • Festus

        President Winfrey.

      • Hyperion

        Biden has zero principles and morals. He will sign anything that Congress puts before him. If it’s a bill to send all [fill in blank] to the gas chambers, he’ll sign it.

      • Rhywun

        Depends. What day is it?

      • Rebel Scum

        Depends.

        Hopefully Biden’s stocked up.

      • Festus

        Whoohoo virus cleared the shelves.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Woe is me, I’m addicted to my phone, ch 6,912

    Will these discontents push people toward revolutionary backlash? Perhaps not. But that’s almost beside the point. The capitalism that is taking shape in this century—predatory, manipulative, extremely effective at short-circuiting our rationality—is a different beast from the classical version taught in university classrooms. It cannot be regarded as beneficent and should not be given the benefit of the doubt. Profit motive and the means to create dependency is too dangerous a combination.

    American society has long treated habit-forming products differently from non-habit-forming ones. The government restricts the age at which people can buy cigarettes and alcohol, and dictates places where they can be consumed. Until recently, gambling was illegal in most places, and closely regulated. But Big Tech has largely been left alone to insinuate addictive, potentially harmful products into the daily lives of millions of Americans, including children, by giving them away for free and even posturing as if they are a social good. The most addictive new devices and apps may need to be put behind the counter, as it were—packaged with a stern warning about the dangers inherent in their use, and sold only to customers of age.

    Perhaps the most immediate and important change we can make is to introduce transparency—and thus, trust—to exchanges in the technological realm. At present, many of the products and services with the greatest power to manipulate us are “free,” in the sense that we don’t pay to use them. But we are paying, in the form of giving up private data that we have not learned to properly value and that will be used in ways we don’t fully understand. We should start paying for platforms like Facebook with our dollars, not our data.

    Blah blah blah, these tech platforms have refined personalized service and the pursuit of an ongoing business relationship to the point of an addiction. Those bastards at youtube keep showing you more of what you have exhibited an interest in or fondness for. If you buy a purse from Amazon, they will start showing you ads for purses. That’s not fair.

    That business about, pay in cash or pay in data sounds nice, but without the data, the whole system collapses.

    • Rebel Scum

      predatory, manipulative, extremely effective at short-circuiting our rationality

      But enough about socialism.

    • Festus

      I broke down last year and finally bought a smart phone. I use it to make calls and texts that are important. I also use it to watch YouTube when I’m on the shitter. I’ve taken a total of maybe 30 pictures so far, some work related but mostly cat adjacent.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That’s gross, just get a tablet, and leave it the the shitter,

    • Rhywun

      You know Liz would be all over this.

      /dodged a bullet

    • pan fried wylie

      Seriously, like, quit being addicted to the conveniences of refrigeration and laundry machines.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Things have been so good she doesn’t even have to shoplift anymore.

    Ryder told Variety at the show’s red carpet premiere in New York on Wednesday that she signed on to the project because the story is “so incredibly timely.”

    Based on the acclaimed Philip Roth novel, The Plot Against America imagines an alternative history of the United States where aviator Charles Lindbergh won the presidential election of 1940 and ushered in a fascist “America first” regime in which Jews are persecuted. …

    Ryder said working on the series made her want to “speak out” and “do whatever I can” against the Trump administration.

    “Obviously a lot has been weighing on all of our minds. The whole fear of ‘the other’ in the eyes of fascism, what’s happening at the border, all of that is so outrageous and I think the last few years has been such a mind boggling like nightmare in so many ways,” Ryder told Variety.

    “When I think about this project, it makes me want to speak out and do whatever I can and the way to do that right now is to vote.”

    Lindbergh hated (((them)))?

    • Hyperion

      Trump is persecuting (((them)))?

    • Chipwooder

      He wasn’t nearly as virulent in his antisemitism as, say, his friends in Berlin, but still…..

      Lindbergh’s reaction to Kristallnacht was entrusted to his diary: “I do not understand these riots on the part of the Germans,” he wrote. “It seems so contrary to their sense of order and intelligence. They have undoubtedly had a difficult ‘Jewish problem’, but why is it necessary to handle it so unreasonably?”…..In his diaries, he wrote, “We must limit to a reasonable amount the Jewish influence … Whenever the Jewish percentage of total population becomes too high, a reaction seems to invariably occur. It is too bad because a few Jews of the right type are, I believe, an asset to any country.”

      • Hyperion

        The fact that these assholes are still equating trying to enforce border security with sending Jews to the death camps is really all you have to know about what disingenuous assholes they are.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        enforce border security with sending Jews to the death camps

        Ok, but fair enough, that’s exactly what FDR did!

        Shhhh!

    • leon

      Interesting. In her story did Charles do things like Suspend the Gold Standard? Did he dispose of the right to strike? Does he bully the courts into going on with his economic plans? Does he force the jews into concentration camps, and steal their property? I bet he even sent German’s who were found fighting for the allies to Germany so that they could be imprisoned in slave camps and executed.

      • UnCivilServant

        You forgot stealing gold from its rightful owners. That’s a bit more than just suspending the standard.

      • leon

        Yup. Real History is interesting enough and full of the situations that they try to pretend that “could have happened” but thankfully we “dodged”. Just as a thought experiment, if the US (for some reason) had joined the Nazis rather than the Allies, I’m pretty sure the UK would have caved, and history would be much different. In such a world the current crop of authoritarians would talk about how awful the communists were, and “sure the Nazis did bad things” but that they faught against the commies, etc.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Dude, I think the newest DLC for Hearts of Iron IV has a bunch of game breaking bugs too, but chill….

      • leon

        Lol. I played as Republican Spain the other weekend, and i’ll tell you that that is all bullshit. Get wiped across the floor by the Nationalists. I seem to recall the War being more hard fought in reality.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It’s the Paradox way. Introduce imbalance through a DLC that will be fixed in the next DLC that introduces another imbalance, wash, and repeat.

      • UnCivilServant

        Except for the DLC that just breaks the game and causes it to crash.

      • Gadfly

        They’ve always had a problem balancing the Spanish Civil War. Originally the Nationalists would always win, then they re-balanced it and the Republicans would always win, so I guess now the pendulum has swung back the other way.

      • invisible finger

        It’s OK to round up the deplorables and send them to detention centers/forced labor camps where they will stay until they die naturally, but our betters draw the line at proactively killing them.

        Forgetting of course that their idea was literally Hitler’s idea until the economic reality of such a scheme makes you realize how much it costs to not proactively kill them. It’s not a huge leap of immoral faith to proactively kill them, it’s literally the economically logical next step. The immoral evil began with naming them deplorables. Once you’ve taken that leap of faith, the progressively more evil steps require no extra effort.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        As an epilogue, Philip’s aunt, Evelyn, confides a theory of Lindbergh’s disappearance, the source for which was First Lady Anne Morrow Lindbergh, who disclosed the details to Evelyn’s husband, Rabbi Bengelsdorf, shortly before Mrs. Lindbergh was forcibly removed from the White House and held prisoner in the psychiatric ward at Walter Reed Army Hospital. According to Evelyn, after the Lindberghs’ son, Charles, was kidnapped in 1932, his murder was faked, and he was then raised in Germany by the Nazis as a Hitler Youth member. The Nazis’ price for the boy’s life was Lindbergh’s full cooperation with a Nazi-organized presidential campaign by which they hoped to bring the Final Solution to the US. When Lindbergh informed them that the US would never permit such a thing, he was kidnapped, and the Jewish conspiracy theory was put forward hoping to turn the US further against the Jewish population. Philip admits that Aunt Evelyn’s theory is the most far-fetched and “unbelievable” but “not necessarily the least convincing” explanation for Lindbergh’s disappearance.

        Reading is FUNdamental.

    • Festus

      Lockstep, Lockjaw.

    • creech

      Someone the other night asked me to consider how the history of the world would have been different if George Washington was killed with Gen. Braddock or during the Rev War and the British had won. Sounds like a good alternate history novel. Does Kaiser Bill dare take on a Britain backed from Day One by the British Commonwealth of North America? No WWI equals no WWII, etc.

      • UnCivilServant

        What’s one more agricultural backwater colony in supporting the british empire?

        Powerhouse status was not predestined. Under the bootheel of the king after a failed rebellion, I’m not so sure there would even have been westward expansion even anything close to what we had.

      • SugarFree

        The entire Louisiana Purchase either doesn’t happen or sparks a war with France when the Colonies want to push west.

      • UnCivilServant

        Would the nature of the French revolution change? Or the entire course of events there?

      • SugarFree

        Britain might have used our natural resource base as war materiel to invade during The Terror. Especially since it wouldn’t have had the losses from the Revolution to deal with. And extra 12 years of conscripting from America and all the shipbuilding we could have geared up for…

      • SugarFree

        Unless, of course, the American Revolution was, in a sense, historically inevitable and Washington would have been replaced with an equally competent General.

      • UnCivilServant

        Revolutionaries were a minority of the colonists. It was hardly inevitable that the American Revolution would take place or succeed.

        France was going to have some sort of severe unrest, simply because of the number of problems. Whether or not the head-chopping stage was inevitable is up for debate.

      • SugarFree

        There are very few alt-history novels that involve the American Revolution and some quick googling doesn’t turn up one with the exact premise of an early death for Washington.

      • Raven Nation

        The one alternate history some historians right about is if Britain had not gone whup-ass on Boston after the Tea Party. If parliament had worked out some kind of deal, then it’s plausible that the US would have gone along similar lines to Canada and Australia, i.e. federation status then a gradual move to virtual independence.

      • Raven Nation

        Sheesh, “write” not “right.”

      • invisible finger

        I’m more inclined to believe that history is a series of inevitabilities and accidents/dumb luck rather than a series of successes by TOP. MEN. People probably need to comfort themselves into thinking Nazi Germany would never have happened without Hitler because it’s too discomforting to think it was either inevitable or a horrible set of not-so-strange coincidences. The present-day American Left needs to believe that Trump is an evil monster because the actual reality that they’ve created their own backlash is too scary to their collective ego to admit.

        This article from 16 years ago made me reflect on a lot of history beyond just the piece of history it covers.

        https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2004/12/among-the-hostage-takers/303596/

      • Naptown Bill

        I think the mismanagement of the colonies is the most interesting counterfactual to think about. It’s easier to envision the colonies never really gathering enough ire to revolt and then just kind of being southern Canada. Simon Schama makes the point in A History of Britain that the American Revolution could’ve easily been avoided if the British hadn’t repeatedly screwed up the politics. Shit, a lot of the revolutionaries probably would’ve been perfectly content if the British had offered to accept the colonies as polities entitled to representation in Parliament.

      • Rebel Scum

        if the British had offered to accept the colonies as polities entitled to representation in Parliament.

        That is what they were initially after. And a certain level of autonomy.

      • Mojeaux

        It was hardly inevitable that the American Revolution would take place or succeed.

        Firstly, Britain was spread thin. They were fighting about 12 different wars while they were fighting us.

        Even so, we were losing until the French got involved–and badly.

        There was the Caribbean hurricane of 1780 (worst one ever recorded–Hi Greta!) that destroyed Sint Eustatius, which was our major port for black market goods.

        British Admiral Rodney was as much hindrance to the British as help, since he used his fleet basically as pirates and would choose to plunder rather than fight. He sent 2 men o’ war back to England to carry his greed and was unable to assist in the Battle of Chesapeake. Those 2 ships would have made all the difference.

      • invisible finger

        I would assume that there were enough radicals in Boston that Britain was fed up with them and the Boston Tea Party was the last straw, not some one-off moment of chaos that sparked an emotional reaction. If you were a New England moderate at the time, the numeric reality is that there were thousands of self-righteous Puritans in your midst and only dozens of loyal British subjects. At some point you’re just going to pick the devil that seems like it will be the lesser hassle.

      • Mojeaux

        Also, Admiral Rodney thought Washington could “certainly be bought – honours will do it”. That was around 1779, 1780.

        Rodney’s behavior may or may not have been a huge unwitting ally to the Americans, but he was as monkey wrench as he was well-oiled cog.

      • Mojeaux

        All that research for 1 throwaway sentence.

      • Naptown Bill

        Speaking of the Battle of the Chesapeake, there’s an area nearby called Parole that is so named because it was used during the Revolution as a location to exchange prisoners.

      • Gadfly

        I’m more inclined to believe that history is a series of inevitabilities and accidents/dumb luck rather than a series of successes by TOP. MEN.

        While there are definitely tides the move history, I do think what you term “TOP MEN” in fact steer the ship. I don’t think France tries to conquer Europe without Napoleon, or Mongolia conquers much of the world without Genghis, etc. Which is not to say that top men create these events ex nihilo (and I rather think that’s impossible), but rather that an organic grass-roots movement often needs the right top man to order things for success. I know that theory might not be popular here, but it does seem to me to be the one best supported by history. And for your specific example, I do think the Nazis or something like them were probably inevitable but I also think things would have gone very, very differently had Rohm stabbed Hitler in the back instead of vice versa.

      • Naptown Bill

        I think there are a few stolen bases in the premise, but with that stipulation I’m not sure that the British would have benefited from the colonies remaining British. The 13 colonies in particular were an economic drain, and the population was restive by nature. Even in a failed revolution they’d still have to sink resources and men into maintaining security; unlike the Caribbean colonies, the American colonies south of Canada didn’t really provide much in terms of economic benefit. That’s why taxation was such a big deal; they were getting furs from Canada and sugar from the islands, but basically just tax revenue from the states. As gratifying as it is to think of plucky proto-Americans taking on the British Empire and defeating it head-to-head on the field of battle, the revolution was won mainly because the British decided it wasn’t worth dealing with us.

      • Raven Nation

        “the American colonies south of Canada didn’t really provide much in terms of economic benefit. ”

        Basically correct. However, rice coming out of South Carolina was important. And the British wanted to keep Charleston as a base for defending sailing routes from the Caribbean. This was the main reason they essentially abandoned New England after Saratoga and adopted a “southern strategy.”

      • Naptown Bill

        That’s true, I glossed over the strategic value of the southern colonies WRT to trade and shipping.

      • Raven Nation

        Oh, and one more thing I should toss in there, although it’s not as big a deal. The British were also getting a lot of naval stores from the south.

      • R C Dean

        One of the biggest knock-on effect would have been no Civil War, or at worst an attempted revolution in the South when the Brits outlawed slavery.

        Its an interesting counterfactual, no question.

    • ruodberht

      No one told her a fascist won in 1932 already?

      Imagine we had a president in 1940 who would go on to put people in camps based on their race! Shocking!

      • Rebel Scum

        That too.

    • Rebel Scum

      Just watched the trailer. Good lord…

      “We have to get out.”
      “He closed the borders.”

      Hates Jews but wants to keep them in?

      “It’s the America Firsters”.

      Fuck off, film.

    • Pat

      ’90s Winona Ryder was aesthetic perfection. But for the love of christ she should never, ever talk.

  25. PieInTheSky

    So a booze store near me, part of a small chain, is under new management and decided to get rid of some old stock. Pie got a pretty damn good discount on some wine. Coronovirus supplies !

    https://drive.google.com/open?id=1UI0OHlL3rLuZ6rL_lpYD6U2Citmk2C4V

    Not a bad haul for 500 Romanian currency

    • Gustave Lytton

      Not a wino, but they look nice!

    • Rebel Scum

      500 Romanian currency

      Monopoly money appears to be relatively valuable in Romania.

  26. Chipwooder

    “Elites”. I believe that’s what these sorts refer to themselves as, no?

    • Drake

      Beretta Px-4? Nice.
      Tempting to keep but I would probably ask the hotel who stayed there last and see if I could keep the cops out of it.

      • PieInTheSky

        I am amazed you can recognize the type just by that picture

      • PieInTheSky

        oohhh looking closer it is written on it

      • Drake

        My neighbor / shootin’ buddy has one.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        The PX-4’s got some unique ergonomics that make it stand out, even when partially obscured.

      • banginglc1

        I had one until the boating accident.

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, it’s not a complementary hotel self-defense gun?

      • PieInTheSky

        apparently not

    • Pat

      Trailer trash whores always be making accusations, yo.

  27. straffinrun

    Jumping between glibs and FB (gotta check it for work) and came across this:

    To all the women on my Friends list. Happy Women’s History Month

    Forgot that I wasn’t on glibs and almost posted something regrettable.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Something about Hinamatsuri all month long?

      • Sensei

        Well done! It’s OMWC’s favorite Japanese holiday.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m going to have to link the Chisato Moritaka song made for OMWC.

        https://youtu.be/GewWg-T29Js

      • Sensei

        I know the song well!

      • straffinrun

        We combine Setsubun and Hinamatsuri. Throw beans at the dolls.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Could be worse. You could be throwing the dolls.

    • Agent Cooper

      The proper response that satisfies that works both ways is “Every month is Women’s History month.”

      • straffinrun

        How’s the job search going?

  28. Hyperion

    Do it. That way all your derpbook ‘frenz’ give you a downvote and you get off there for good.

    • straffinrun

      .

    • Tundra

      Thanks! It’s on my list.

      Did you decide on London, yet?

      • PieInTheSky

        nope, I have till the 21st

      • Tundra

        We are trying to assess the risk of sites being closed. The CR only has a handful of cases at this point – and all via northern Italy.

        I’m not terribly concerned about the virus, but it would suck to have the cool stuff closed while we are there.

      • PieInTheSky

        I am not concerned about myself but about passing on to family. My aunt who lives next to my mom is 71 and has (or had she is now on blood thinners ) a form of lung thrombophilia… i do not worry about myself

    • Shirley Knott

      That’s a pretty impressive brewery, going by the pic!

      • PieInTheSky

        it is loud and crowded and the food is average but overall it is in impressive place and nothing is bad…

  29. kinnath

    From another site:

    Watching Uncle Joe give a speech, is like watching a chain-smoker filling up his gas tank.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Trying to up her victim cred for internet points.

      If you don’t want your nude photos to be seen by the world, then don’t take any.

      • Naptown Bill

        She might be playing it up, but she sent a boyfriend some nudes and he passed them on to all and sundry. It was unwise, but she’s the wronged party here. I don’t blame her for trying to make some lemonade out of those lemons.

        And yes, that euphemism was 100% intentional. Because those are some fantastic lemons.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I agree he’s an asshole, but this definitely falls into the “unwise actions” category

      • Naptown Bill

        For sure. As the father of a young daughter who already is way more familiar with smartphones than I’d like, I’m gearing up for the “Listen, honey, whatever you’re doing, never take any pictures you wouldn’t want your kids to see on television in ten years.”

    • Viking1865

      There’s a difference between posing nude in a magazine and having an ex send your nudes to his friends. She sent him nudes for his private enjoyment, not to be shared with the public.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        True, but it rings much more hollow when the offense is “the public seeing additional nude pictures that were not earmarked for public consumption” versus “person who otherwise doesn’t get naked for public consumption has their nudes leaked.”

        The level of outrage seems like it should be orders of magnitude lower for the first one.

      • Jarflax

        She posed for the magazine nudes AFTER he released the private ones as a gesture to take control of the situation. It isn’t a case of person with public nudes has a private one released at all.

    • Rebel Scum

      Suddenly golf is interesting.

      • R C Dean

        I would think that studying her swing in slo-mo would be . . . educational.

    • Pat

      “I was nude, I was completely naked. That was the best moment for me,” she continued. “That was the moment I won, right there, when I did Sports Illustrated Swimsuit and I had my t–s out.”

      So brave

  30. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Jimmy Dore with a little compilation of Biden’s plagiarism:

    https://youtu.be/lSUPfnYdXFU

    If you can look past the calculated lefty rants it’s pretty funny.

    • straffinrun

      Gawd. He’s been pulling the “Wanna compare IQs?” trick for that long?

      • UnCivilServant

        IQ tests mostly measure the ability to take IQ tests.

      • Festus

        ‘specially if ya keep doin’ em over and over!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        IQ tests mostly measure the ability to take IQ tests.

        Well, someone just lost their based, uncucked, red-pilled, “I read Quillette because it’s like the New Yorker but for incels!” card.

      • UnCivilServant

        *stares blankly for a moment*

        I have no idea what you just said.

      • Tundra

        I read it three times and gave up.

      • R C Dean

        HM swims in different waters, my friend.

      • straffinrun

        I can decode that, I think. You are no longer a member in good standing of the edgy, race realist crowd that doesn’t let other guys fuck their wife and spend their free time watching Matrix or reading lite right nationalist blogs.

      • leon

        …. I don’t let other guys fuck my wife

      • straffinrun

        “Let” “want” “prefer”. Don’t blame me. I used google translate.

      • Festus

        ^The stupidest Glib agrees.

      • PieInTheSky

        SO some glibs and Taleb do have some things in common on IQ

      • ruodberht

        That and general intelligence. But sure.

    • leon

      Saw that last night.

      Trump should just run campaign commercials of those commentators calling him unfit for office back in the 80’s

      • straffinrun

        What’s crazy is that you can fully see how senile he actually is now by comparing his speaking style then with now.

  31. Stinky Wizzleteats

    A note to YouTube: Stop trying to ram Fox News and Jordan Peterson videos down my throat.

    What the hell is going on with their algorithm?

    • UnCivilServant

      Too many organic trending results blacklisted by humans. It’s compensating from an increasingly short list of not-yet-banned unleft content.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I watch Styx Hexenhammer and I get Fox, Jimmy Dore and I get the Hoover Institute, and a damn ASMR video and it tries to to play Peterson. It’s ridiculous.

      • UnCivilServant

        I turn off autoplay, so I don’t get bothered by what unrelated claptrap it thinks should go next.

        Mind you, 80% of the time, I’ve turned scripts back off and closed the tab before the video hits the end anyway.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        a damn ASMR video

        *whispers in Stinky’s ear*

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, well, I’m home sick and I’m indulging myself a little bit.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        “self care”

    • Festus

      Stop sucking black cock, Lizzie and your problems will soon waft away.

    • PieInTheSky

      you think thats tough I get Antena 3 recommendations

    • mexican sharpshooter

      What the hell is going on with their algorithm?

      Say what you want about YouTube’s algorithm. It’s better than Facebook’s. They think I’m gay conservative.

      • banginglc1

        Maybe they know you better than you know yourself?!?!?!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Maybe.

        Maybe it has more to do with my right clicking the Mike Bloomberg ads and reporting it to them as “sexually explicit content’. It did get rid of his ads.

  32. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    First presumptive case of COVID-19 in Alberta reported this morning (in Calgary — their international airport’s a lot more international than Edmonton’s).

    WOO-HOO!!! We’re finally part of the cool kids’ club!

    • UnCivilServant

      WOO-HOO!!! We’re finally part of the cool kids’ club!

      No, that’s “Woo-Haan”

      • kinnath

        Wu Hu and Yi Ha.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        In my head, they are chicks. So,

        Go on…

      • Chipwooder

        Sum Ting Wong?

    • Tundra

      Uh, congrats?

      • Festus

        Nobody is freaking out here but Wifey works at the airport and I work in a huge postal facility. If any one is gonna get it unless they work in customs and immigration it would be us.

      • Festus

        Think that I might scoop a box of toilet tissue from work, just to be sure.

      • Florida Man

        Watch for cameras. They locked up all the N95’s at work.

      • R C Dean

        We had to move them all to the charge nurse’s station.

        If you want one, you better be willing to risk a limb to get it.

      • Sensei

        Put them in the drug cart and make them audit them with the opiates every single shift change.

  33. Hyperion

    Has anyone named their dog ‘Coronavirus’ yet?

    Just wondering, the left are in full on hysteria mode hoping for a pandemic to get rid of Trump. They basically went right from impeachment to pandemic without missing a beat.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The admin does need to step up their game though. It’s overblown and is going to go pandemic regardless of what’s done but they need to at least appear to be working their asses off. Perception is reality to a certain extent.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I saw somebody on the interwebs call it “Covington – 19”. I doubt it will catch on.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not going to stop calling it Wuhan.

      • Festus

        *raises fist in solidarity*

      • Pat

        Kung Flu

      • Festus

        Flu Manchu

  34. Rebel Scum

    Something something money in politics.

    Former New York mayor Mike Bloomberg has decided to form an independent expenditure campaign that will absorb hundreds of his presidential campaign staffers in six swing states to work to elect the Democratic nominee this fall.

    The group, with a name that is still undisclosed because its trademark application is in process, would also be a vehicle for Bloomberg to spend money on advertising to attack President Trump and support the Democratic nominee, according to a person familiar with the discussions, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss internal deliberations. …

    The new group, operating with the same potentially limitless bankroll that funded Bloomberg’s campaign, could play a major role in shaping the race this fall. Bloomberg, who is worth more than $50 billion, also has not ruled out using the group to spend money to support former vice president Joe Biden during his primary fight against Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.). Bloomberg dropped out of the race Wednesday.

    • R C Dean

      Former New York mayor Mike Bloomberg has decided to form an independent expenditure campaign that will absorb hundreds of his presidential campaign staffers in six swing states to work to elect the Democratic nominee this fall.

      And only two or three years after the election, the FEC will conclude that there was, in fact, illegal coordination amounting to tens of millions of dollars of illegal campaign contributions to the Democrat.*

      And nothing else will happen.

      *SLD on campaign finance laws, with ROL disclaimer.

    • Sean

      “I CAN STILL BUY THIS ELECTION!!!!111!!1”

      *Licks fingers*

      • UnCivilServant

        Thanks for the reminder – Launder and and all Bloomberg money asap, and wash your hands if you accidentally touch it ungloved.

    • leon

      If Bloomberg spent tons of money to destroy sanders, it would just do that much more to ensure Bernie Supporters say “Fuck You” to the DNC and don’t vote in November.

    • Festus

      They called the new focus group “It’s okay when we do it”.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      At some point being inundated with annoying ads has to have the opposite effect for spite if nothing else.

      • leon

        Hmm. But that counters the standard Political Science View that “People are really stupid and will vote for whomever they heard a lot about in ads”.

      • Naptown Bill

        Ah, the old “last sign the dumb rubes see on the way into the polling place” gambit.

      • Nephilium

        I had to laugh… the girlfriend got a Bloomberg 2020 mailer yesterday.

  35. Mojeaux

    By mysterious undocumentable means and the working of God’s ways, I happen to know there was a case of coronavirus in St. Louis last night.

      • R C Dean

        “Shoot, shovel, and shut up.”

      • Mojeaux

        It was BEING dealt with at the time I learned of it.

      • Tundra

        Interesting. It’s not on Johns Hopkins dashboard. You sure it was confirmed?

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t know what CONFIRMED means in database-updating-speak, but I am confident in my source.

      • Tundra

        I assume it means a positive test and formal report.

        The single case Beam mentioned shows up for Calgary. I’ll watch for St. Louis.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Probably on positive retest by the CDC. I believe they’re still double checking positive test results, due to the initial problems with fielding the test kits.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        CONFIRMED == the test reagents panel came back positive for COVID-19.

    • Festus

      Nice. Our closest ones are still in Hongcouver. We’re all gonna diiiiiieeeeeee!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Meh, that shit is loose now. It’s going to run its course.

        I told my 81 year old father with interstitial lung disease to go to the mountain house and to not come back for a while.

      • Festus

        Jesus. Sorry for the jokes, Friend.

  36. R C Dean

    Oh, fer fuck sake, Mitt. Just switch parties already.

    Senator Mitt Romney (R., Utah) warned Thursday that Senator Ron Johnson’s (R., Wis.) probe into the Bidens and Burisma “appears political,” and would not comment whether he would vote for a subpoena that Johnson is planning.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      But being John McCain gets him so much airtime? Tough call, really.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Thank God he lost to Obama, he would have been a disaster.

    • Naptown Bill

      It’s amazing that there are still people who believe the two parties aren’t basically the same side.

      • Festus

        I’ve been in court before and the way that the prosecutors and defenders act would turn your hair either curly or straight. Making deals with peoples’ lives with nary a thought. Bestest buddies.

      • Naptown Bill

        My uncle-in-law is a judge and I used to work at the circuit court in town a while back. I’ve sat in a few sessions, and the amount of power a judge has over your life is absolutely terrifying. It’s even scarier knowing the guy, and I say that as someone who actually likes him. I mean, really, if the judge is having a shitty day and maybe doesn’t like the cut of your jib–you look like someone he/she didn’t like in school, or he/she finds your accent annoying–your ass is going to prison for an arbitrary length of time.

      • Festus

        This is known, Khaleessi. It was disgusting the way that they played with the defendents like so many Magic The Gathering cards. Hearty chortling abounded.

      • Naptown Bill

        I think about that when people get justifiably riled up about police brutality. Yeah, a guy with a gun can pretty much jump you out of the blue with no consequences, but there’s also a person who can essentially decide to do anything at all to you for any period of time with virtually no oversight or repercussions on a whim. The cop can kick your ass, sure, but the judge can take your children away and put you in a box for the rest of your life because somebody cut him/her off on the way into work that morning.

    • Festus

      I don’t get it. Isn’t he a Mormon? Hasn’t he forgiven Trump his trespasses yet? Pipe in Mojo.

    • leon

      But if he did that, then he for sure would be done for in Utah, He’s not a Matheson, he’s a Romney.

      • Festus

        Bluidy Splitter!

  37. Pope Jimbo

    How woke. Honoring Casimir Pulaski. The Pole without a pole.

    Researchers who used DNA to identify Pulaski’s bones are convinced the gallant Pole who died fighting for America’s freedom was either a biological woman who lived as a man, or potentially was intersex, meaning a person whose body doesn’t fit the standard definitions of male or female.

    That’s the eye-opening takeaway from a new Smithsonian Channel documentary titled “The General Was Female?,” which premieres Monday and is part of the “America’s Hidden Stories” series.

    “One of the ways that male and female skeletons are different is the pelvis,” Virginia Hutton Estabrook, an assistant professor of anthropology at Georgia Southern University, told NBC News. “In females, the pelvic cavity has a more oval shape. It’s less heart-shaped than in the male pelvis. Pulaski’s looked very female.”

    While the Pulaski skeleton showed tell-tale signs of extensive horseback riding and a battle wound on the right hand that the general is known to have suffered, the facial structure and jaw angle were decidedly female, Estabrook said.

    It is tiresome how hard people try in order to “claim” other individuals as their own.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If they have genetic material it shouldn’t be a controversy. Y chromosome, yes or no?

      • UnCivilServant

        Chromosomes don’t tell you what Xe identified as!

        /end snark

        DNA from two hundred years ago tends to be* of the mitochondrial variety, because it survives better. It’s used to establish connection to a known lineage and thus “identify” a sekelton. So they wouldn’t hav ehte XY makeup.

        *They can sometimes get nuclear DNA, depending on storage condition of the corpse.

    • grrizzly

      He seems sufficiently masculine to me.

      • UnCivilServant

        Yet you found a rather busty picture.

      • Festus

        ^ heh

      • Festus

        Veronica seems to be having a squirt.

    • CPRM

      Old news. Something fell out your ass or some such. Also, ‘There is no difference between men and women, but by these bones we can tell this man was a woman…”

      • leon

        Aren’t we all Just humans who have chosen to identify as one thing or another? What does it mater what he was? He identified as a man and that is all that matters.

      • CPRM

        Mulan Rogue Mother Fucker!

      • leon

        Is Mulan Woke or Broke?

      • Festus

        Harmonica pussy.

      • CPRM
      • Festus

        “A Mannish Woman” Lizzie?

    • Festus

      “An unforeseen problem. Not a problem.” Who the fuck is this guy?

    • Juvenile Bluster

      What’s $8.2 billion among friends?

      That’s what, $10 million for every American? /msnbc math

  38. Pat

    Another day, another Intel vulnerability

    Last May, Intel released firmware patches for vulnerabilities affecting several hardware security features in its chipsets that are used for digital rights management, device attestation, firmware validation, safe storage of cryptographic keys, disk encryption and more. A team of security researchers now warns that one of those flaws is actually unpatchable and could lead to a complete compromise of the cryptographic chain of trust in Intel-based systems with potentially disastrous implications for technologies built on top of it.

    • leon

      potentially disastrous implications for technologies built on top of it.

      You mean everything in the world?