Poll: How Much Ya Got?

by | Mar 18, 2020 | Food & Drink, Prepper, Society | 664 comments

As the coronapanic shows no signs of slowing down, I think it’s a good time to take stock of the collective supplies Glibs have. I mean, after all, you’d share with the community. Right?

So, please answer with how much you have on hand in the following categories:

Alcohol

Ammunition

Guns

Gasoline and/or other fuel

TP

Hand sanitizer

Knives

Siege weaponry

Bleach

Gas masks

Water

First Aid/trauma kits

Dried and canned foods/MREs

 

Feel free to add more categories of things you’d like to share with your fellow Glibs! (Winston’s Mom…not you.)

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

664 Comments

  1. Heroic Mulatto

    Umm…like I’d tell anyone.

    • Count Potato

      This guy gets it.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        This guy gets HM getting it.

        /eww…

    • juris imprudent

      I’d tell people I’d actually share with.

  2. Tundra

    Lol.

    Nice try.

    I do hope all is well with you, though.

  3. MikeS

    Well, I have…

    Oh no…I almost fell for that trick! You’re a sneaky one!

    • MikeS

      I did do some mild panic alcohol buying, though. Once I started seeing stories about booze stores being shut down, I thought it prudent.

      • Tundra

        If it comes to that, I’m just gonna do one of my periodic no-booze phases. Nice to see the abs again, really 😉

      • MikeS

        Gay

      • Tulip

        I plan to do alcohol panic buying tomorrow

      • Rhywun

        I’m kind of realizing that I probably can’t stock up as much as I would like and am just crossing my fingers that the liquor stores will stay open.

      • egould310

        Yeah. At lunch today, I finally understood the ramifications of this bullshit. Tomorrow I’m going to buy at least three handles of bourbon and three handles of vodka. Plus some wine, and some other “sipping” booze. I need 3 months of booze stockpiled.

      • Enough About Palin

        That’s a fine strategy. Several years ago I stocked up on a bit of fairly good booze (Courvoisier, Appleton Estate Rum, B&B, etc.), as well as several cases of wine as I’m in a wine club. Also have at the very least four months of food (dry/can goods, Thai, Indian, Cajun, Basque, Italian, etc.) and if need be, I have a dog, two cats, in addition lots of squirrels and rabbits in my yard. Possums too. So I’m thinking I’m good.

  4. Sean

    >.>

    <.<

    I plead the fifth.

    I'm not worried about anything. Except maybe getting that one wheel straightened. A little vibration around 90.

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      ::contemplating that Sean’s emoji is a nekkid, 50’s-type cone-tiddy lady, swaying back and forth…::

  5. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    None. I have none of those prepper things.

    *goes to basement to check on gas masks and consumables*

  6. ruodberht

    Plenty of everything.

    Especially claymore mines.

    • Tres Cool

      + Front Towards Enemy

  7. Sean

    I am a little short on tannerite… ?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Bring bacon and booze 😉

      (About twenty miles from the Tannerite outlet store)

    • Mad Scientist

      I have plenty of…..I hear you can buy all the ingredients on Amazon.

  8. UnCivilServant

    Alcohol – Same as always, something like 10 liters drinkable, one liter isopropyl

    Ammunition – That’s classified.

    Guns – I’m afraid the Hudson swallowed them all up.

    Gasoline and/or other fuel – One tank. I haven’t had to drive much since I last filled up.

    TP – Six rolls. I don’t go through it that fast.

    Hand sanitizer – I think I have a bottle I’ve had for a few months.

    Knives – I collect them.

    Siege weaponry – I gave away the trebuchet a few years back, so I’ve only got the cannon.

    Bleach – donno, gallon maybe.

    Gas masks – Like I’m going to give that away.

    Water – Tap. I don’t really expect the infrastructure to collapse by the time this blows over.

    First Aid/trauma kits – I have a bunch of stuff for little injuries. I’d have a hard time treated myself for a major injury.

    Dried and canned foods/MREs – This dried fruit sucks, I need better dried fruit.

    • MikeS

      Same as always, something like 10 liters drinkable

      That surprises me. I thought you very rarely drank. Or is that the bottles you tried and didn’t care for? If I’m getting too personal, tough shit…answer the question!

      • UnCivilServant

        I very rarely drink – which is why I have so much on hand.

        Also, some of it is stuff I didn’t care for.

      • MikeS

        So what you’re saying is, I was correct twice in a row.

      • UnCivilServant

        Congratulations! your memory exceeds that of the common carp.

      • MikeS

        But what about the unincommon carp?

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t be koi, say what you mean.

      • MikeS

        I feel like you’re judging me on an unfair scale.

      • Fourscore

        I’m not a sucker, not falling for that crappie question

      • Sean

        I finally poured out that pumpkin pie flavored vodka. I needed the space.

      • UnCivilServant

        That doesn’t even sound appetizing.

      • Sean

        It was worse than you imagine.

      • MikeS

        My god. I can’t even think of some mixed drink to cover the pumpkin spice.

        *shivers*

      • Count Potato

        That is bad.

      • Not Adahn

        I dunno, I can imagine an awful lot.

      • Tres Cool

        Mix with ginger ale. Hold nose. Drink quickly.

      • mindyourbusiness

        Drinking the stuff sounds like a great way to make every bodily orifice pucker simultaneously.

    • Aloysious

      UCS: if you don’t like the dried fruit, macerate it in rum, vodka, or Brandy. Kicks it up a notch.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was thinking of making fruitcake – just drench it in spiced rum to start with…

      • Aloysious

        Good idea. I’ve used the macerated fruit in banana and zucchini bread with great success.

  9. Ozymandias

    LOFUCKINGL.

    You guys are great. SP/OMWC, I’ll hopefully have a dual-sport bike soon and I can just cut across the desert and avoid the zombies in Phoenix if you need supplies. (Would definitely shorten my current drive via I-10). We’ll have Glib Outposts across the desert, oases for the roaming Glibs who might pass across the post-COVID19 hellscape that was once the American southwest….

    • Rhywun

      I’m not looking forward to navigating the Holland Tunnel on my way to Vegas Boulder.

      • Private Chipperbot

        You magnificent son of a bitch. I’ve read that book.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Hear Him!

    • Old Man With Candy

      I’ll watch your back on the ride back. I won’t be of any use in an attack, but hey, I could tweet about it.

  10. The Hyperbole

    Feel free to add more categories of things you’d like

    Porn?

    • Tundra

      Lube?

    • AlmightyJB

      How would one go about not hoarding porn?

    • straffinrun

      Binoculars.

  11. Sean

    I have made statements that I would share #2 & #3 with Glibs in the event of an apocalypse. Bring bacon & bourbon.

    • MikeS

      Is Rye OK?

      • Sean

        Welcomed. As is scotch, if you want to be fancy.

      • MikeS

        Excellent. Now I just need to shore up my bacon stocks.

  12. AlmightyJB

    All you need is Love and a .45.

  13. AlmightyJB

    I browse gas masks every few years but have never bought. Same with armour. Actually I have a whole list of that sort of stuff I will probably never buy on one of my Amazon wish lists.

    • Sean

      I was kicking around buying some armor and ready to blame it on the CV. I’m putting that back on the shelf right now. After the liquor stockup, 5.45×39, and tires this week has been a lil spendy.

    • Tejicano

      I used to have an M-17 gas mask with a set of new filters in the wrap – as well as one CS grenade.

      Not sure where that went.

      • Tres Cool

        I still have atropine and 2-PAM Chloride autoinjectors. I imagine they’re useless by now.

  14. Trials and Trippelations

    This will probably get my glib card revoled but

    Alcohol
    2 cans of craft beer

    Ammunition
    0
    Guns
    0 I have a big block of wood under the bed

    Gasoline and/or other fuel
    Half a lawn mower sized canister

    TP
    a shit ton. The rental company recommended we switch to septic safe TP just after I bought a costco brand TP. This was months ago.

    Hand sanitizer
    1.5 bottles

    Knives
    1 camping knife plus the usual kitchen get up

    Siege weaponry
    ?

    Bleach
    1 costco size refill

    Gas masks
    1 czech issue cold war era mask (seriously)

    Water
    In the pipes

    First Aid/trauma kits
    1 Finding dory bandaid

    Dried and canned foods/MREs
    2 spaghetti freeze dried camping packages
    A ton of frozen veggies

    • MikeS

      Bleach
      1 costco size refill

      You can refill bleach at Costco?

      • Trials and Trippelations

        One of those big jugs that is meant to be used to refill a bleach spray bottle

  15. Gustave Lytton

    Alcohol- enough for a couple months
    Ammunition- enough
    Guns- enough, until the boating accident
    Gasoline and/or other fuel- 5g + more on hand, empty 2g/5g if needed, 20g mobile tank
    TP- plenty + washlet. We were running low and asked the wife to order our usual stock up about 2 weeks prior.
    Hand sanitizer- enough to supply needs at work and in the car, dunno how long it will be until stocks are replenished
    Knives- enough
    Siege weaponry- defensive or offensive?
    Bleach- 2g
    Gas masks- no pro masks
    Water- ~50g on hand, our well water is acidic so use 5g bottled water for drinking
    First Aid/trauma kits- used FSA leftover one year to get a couple of trauma kits
    Dried and canned foods/MREs- enough for 2 weeks without stretching

    • Gustave Lytton

      Water- even though it’s acidic, it’s still drinkable. On a well, so as long as have power, either mains or generator, have water. 80g pressure tank, 50g hot water heater.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Alcohol- enough for a couple months

      You have a warehouse of bourbon?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not that much of a drinker really. And the wife is even less

  16. The Hyperbole

    Those ‘self-reliance’ can dispenser storage units in the ultimate picture look very inefficient storage-wise for a prepper.

  17. Tulip

    Aha! So that’s what was in your garage!

  18. Gojira

    FYI I ran it by my full-on Chinese wife if “kung flu” is racist. She said she thinks it’s a tad racist, but much more clever so she’ll allow it.

    You all now have Official POC Permission.

    • MikeS

      Kung Flu was definitely an early favorite of mine, but I gotta admit; Tom Hanks Disease is growing on me.

      /no euphamism

      • UnCivilServant

        Both of those sound terrible.

        I’m sticking with Wuhan Virus.

    • Tundra

      Ask her about “Slant Sicks”.

      Spawn 1’s girlfriend thought it was funny. (After I explained what a slant-six motor was).

      • Count Potato

        The ones Dodge/Plymouth made bitd were near indestructible.

      • Tejicano

        The first vehicle I owned/worked on was a ’66 Dodge van with a slant-6. The engine was just behind the front seats – to pull it out you wheeled the cherry picker in through the side bay door.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I’m partial to Flu Manchu myself, but like Suthen said, the young’uns probably won’t get the reference.

    • Tejicano

      I was voting for Pooh Flu but I guess it didn’t take.

      • Rhywun

        I do like that one. It puts the scorn on the individual it belongs on.

      • R C Dean

        True, but too obscure.

      • C. Anacreon

        Only works when written as well.

        If you say it out loud people will just think you’re scatological.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Like there isn’t enough of a run on toilet paper already.

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Awesome! Tell her XieXie (I think I romanized properly).

  19. dorvinion

    I have about a month worth of home made freezer meals, maybe more.
    Sorta depends on how much we eat really but each frozen meal tends to get us two to four meal times.

    Really didn’t prepare them all for quarantine, but rather laziness.
    Every couple weeks I buy in bulk (chicken sale) , dump, freeze, crock pot, instant pot, or oven cook depending on recipe.

    Just happened to have a lot of them on hand at the right time.

  20. Sean

    I love that gun sales are soaring right now. I mean, I don’t like ammo being out of stock…but, meh. We’ve all had plenty of time to stock up.

    • The Hyperbole

      You want your competition to be well armed?

      • Sean

        Having arms isn’t proficient or necessarily well armed. More battlefield pick ups, or more likely to vote against gun control. Take your pick as a plus.

    • KSuellington

      If there ever was an event that should wake some people up to the value of an armed society this is it right here. Any realer than this I don’t ever want to see.

      • The Hyperbole

        Soon as I get my Trumpcash I’m buying a shotgun, and shoot every whitey I see.

        Seriously though you are correct I’m considering panic buying a shotgun, I think you gun nuts have recommended Mossbergs in the past, but at this point it may come down to whatever’s in stock.

      • pistoffnick

        Can’t go wrong with a Remington 870 either.

      • Not Adahn

        Mossberg 590 or Remmington 870 are the shotgun equivalents of Glocks/Honda Accords/Toyota Camrys.

      • The Hyperbole

        Is that a good or bad thing? I’m not a gear head either.

      • Tejicano

        It means they’re very popular and not bad quality.

      • leon

        Mosberg and Remmington are the types i always hear recommended fora good Home Defense Shotgun. So i think he means it in a good way.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes. Runs forever with minimal maintenance, low learning curve.

      • The Hyperbole

        Thanks Tejicano and leon.

      • Not Adahn

        If you’re a lefty, you may prefer the Mossberg for the ambi safety,

      • leon

        “Mosberg: The Shotgun of Socialists”

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m proficient with either hand.

      • Jarflax

        ambi safety, a condom and a dental dam

      • kinnath

        Remington 11-97 semi auto.

      • kinnath

        11-87

      • R C Dean

        1100 semi auto guy myself.

        Trust the semi auto over my pumping the action in a crisis.

      • Not Adahn

        I’ve been extremely happy with my CZ 1012 semi-auto. And its <$600.

      • Count Potato

        I’d say consider a Mossberg 500.

        There are also some inexpensive Turkish shotguns.

      • Tejicano

        Winchesters are good too.

        The Remington 870 has the one flaw in that it can lock up if you don’t cycle it fully.

        I recommend, whichever you get, to affix a sidesaddle – good to have an extra 6 to 8 rounds with it whenever you pick it up.

      • Chafed

        I’ll plug the Mossberg 590. It has a 9 round capacity. It’s the first gun I bought. Very easy to operate and reliable. I know next to nothing about guns and I love it.

  21. CPRM

    I won’t answer any of those questions, but I divulge my true weakness. (I think I’ve already done this joke on here before, but I’ll do it again) When I see myself in my head I look like this. Everyone else sees this.

  22. Tundra

    Honestly, if it reaches the point of no return, I have no idea what I will do.

    I hope I won’t be shooting my neighbors for their stuff…

    I’ll probably just head north, find a place to camp out and live out what’s left.

    But I will definitely visit my pothead buddy first!

    • hayeksplosives

      Mr Splosives can hook ya up if you decide to while away the end in a mini paradise.

    • pistoffnick

      You are welcome at my place. When you come to the end of Interstate 35 shout “Wolverines!”. I’ll find you.

      • Tundra

        Thanks, man.

        I’ll be the one in the kilt.

      • pistoffnick

        Weirdo, maybe I change my mind.

        PUT SOME UNDERWEAR ON, DAMN IT, YOU’RE STAINING THE COUCHES!

      • Private Chipperbot

        I’ll be the one running around yelling avenge me in my underwear.

    • Mad Scientist

      Dibs on your Triumph!

      • Tundra

        Lol!

        How the hell do you think I’ll get out after the gov disables all the ECUs?

      • Mad Scientist

        Look, it doesn’t have any air bags or crumple zones or even collapsible steering columns. For your own safety, you should just leave it for me.

      • Tundra

        No no, I couldn’t live with myself if I put you in that kind of danger.

      • Mad Scientist

        Let me go back there and face the peril.

      • Tundra

        LOL.

        I knew you would get it.

        Been working on yours at all?

      • Mad Scientist

        I’ve been sidelined by a complete transmission kablooey in the race car, but I did manage to get the front left corner put back together. I don’t seem to have any photos though. I’ll take one tomorrow.

      • Tundra

        Cool! Email when you can.

        The weather is warming up so I’m gonna tackle some minor body work and possibly some more interior stuff.

      • Mad Scientist

        Who do you typically order parts from? Moss Motors is just a few towns over, so they get me things quickly. I like Victoria British, but I really have to wait after I order for things to arrive.

      • Tundra

        Fucking phone.

        As I was trying to say, you may have to go to other marques to find certain parts.

        For instance, I had a bad light rheostat that I finally found at MiniMania.

        It truly is part of the fun for me!

  23. hayeksplosives

    I’m light on .38 but that’s ok since it was lost in a boating accident.

    I have more booze than I’ll ever need since quitting.

    TP 2-3 weeks?

    Hand sanitizer: nuff

    Knives: nuff

    Siege weaponry: whistles

    Bleach: lots

    Gas masks: none

    Water: about a week, but it’s raining so could collect.

    First Aid/trauma kits: I could do major surgery with the one I made myself.

    Dried and canned foods/MREs: 3-4 weeks

    • hayeksplosives

      Plastic zip ties, lime, pencil and paper for the journal, water filter,

      Running out of my anti seizure medicine would be the suck though. No substitute for that.

      • Count Potato

        Lime to bury the bodies?

      • Ted S.

        Lime to put in the coconut.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m afraid Count Spud is closer on this one.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ah, soil amendment for acidic soil. Have that too.

      • Count Potato

        Well, the lime you use for soil treatment and for burying bodies are different.

        (Unless you are conditioning clay soils.)

      • Gustave Lytton

        Am, but it is agricultural lime not quicklime.

  24. Fatty Bolger

    We keep a little bottle of hand sanitizer in the van console. I was joking with the kids about it the other day, saying we should hide it, so nobody sees it and breaks into the vehicle. Now that’s starting to sound like good sense.

    Also, it’s obviously past time for the United States to convert Fort Knox into a facility for storing the nation’s strategic reserve of toilet paper.

  25. KSuellington

    We have two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. We should be set for the next several weeks.

    But seriously Glibs, I’m noting a distinct lack of rectal thermometers ? among the commentariat.

    • Tulip

      Shit, I’m bugging out to your house.

    • CPRM

      But what are you going to do about the G**amn bats man!?

      • KSuellington

        Whatever we do, we won’t eat them. Hopefully that lesson will make it through this shitshow.

    • Sean

      First time I’ve considered bugging out instead of hunkering down.

      Great quote.

    • C. Anacreon

      Having drugs and no money are better than times of money and no drugs, right Fat Freddy?

      • The Hyperbole

        That was Freewheelin’ Franklin.

      • C. Anacreon

        The line was supposed to be taken as Franklin saying it to Fat Freddy (and his cat)

      • C. Anacreon

        But thanks for pointing that out, very Phineas of you….

  26. UnCivilServant

    I’ve been indoors for days. Should I venture forth and see if the grocery store has burned down?

    • CPRM

      Question is, do you have your venturing gloves ready?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, but I don’t have a party to collect first either.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have checked the street. There is actually a completely empty parking spot behind my car, so there’s a good chance I’ll be able to return to my spot if I wander.

      • UnCivilServant

        I am going to venture forth. Wish me luck.

      • The Hyperbole

        We’re all counting on you.

      • Sean

        It’s dangerous to go alone.

      • UnCivilServant

        It wasn’t completely devoid of humans. closer to 3am rather than 9pm in terms of number of active people about.

        The TP aisle was still empty.

        I picked up more corned beef because the stuff I made today is vanishing fast.

      • Tres Cool

        “never leave the house w/o a fire extinguisher and a handgun”

        -Suthen

        (truer words were never spoken)

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Godspeed.

  27. Jarflax

    I may or may not have some of the items listed. If someone has a need post it and I may volunteer to assist.

    • UnCivilServant

      I need people to stop panicking. But I don’t think that’s the sort of need you’re talking about.

  28. JD is Unemployed

    Alcohol – nothing drinkable

    Ammunition – nothing powder-based

    Guns – *flexes*

    Gasoline and/or other fuel – I guess some in the tank, maybe a little old gas in a jerry can, too

    TP – a few rolls; 4 or 5 maybe?

    Hand sanitizer – nada

    Knives – I haven’t seen my pocket knife in about 4 months; I hope it’s still around here somewhere

    Siege weaponry – I’d have to get creative in such an instance (assuming I’m the one under siege, not laying siege)

    Bleach – about a quart

    Gas masks – I got a gas filter mask

    Water – carbonated

    First Aid/trauma kits – mostly

    Dried and canned foods/MREs – a coupoe days’ worth

    Apparently I’m not a prepper.

    • TARDIS

      I’m not a prepper either, although I considered getting ready for the meltdown in Nov….

      I think I have some packaged salmon in the basement that is not supposed to expire until 2024 though. Plus a box of Gardetto Rye Chips. And coffee, lots of coffee.

      • Drake

        We’re all preppers and home schoolers now.

  29. pistoffnick

    Pantry is stocked
    Freezer is full
    Plenty of deer in the back yard
    Occasional bear
    20 gallons of propane at any time (rotating tanks)
    If worse comes to worse, my backyard neighbor is a quadriplegic. What!? He’s going to be tender and certainly can’t run away!

    We are seriously deficient on toilet paper. Kid #1 is back home from college and I swear she makes puppets and does a puppet show while she is pooping. How does she go through that much toilet paper?

    • Fatty Bolger

      If worse comes to worse, my backyard neighbor is a quadriplegic. What!? He’s going to be tender and certainly can’t run away!

      You should start offering to give him massages. And bring a 6-pack along.

  30. Not Adahn

    Alcohol: 30-something liters, mostly brown

    Ammunition – a little more than a thousand rounds of .22LR with which to harvest the local wildlife, 125 rounds #8 birdshot for same, <5000 rounds centerfire cartridges

    Guns – I actually can wear all of my centerfire pistols holstered at the same time, that's how few I have. A couple shotguns. I have more uppers than lowers, and one of my lowers is 9mm dedicated.

    Gasoline and or other fuel <5 gal, not including what's in the car and snowblower (which I need to run dry here pretty soon)

    TP – a few dozen rolls

    Hand sanitizer – none. I hate the stuff.

    Knives – Many, many, many. I worked for a knifemaker for the better part of a decade.

    Siege weaponry – none

    Bleach – none, but I have Everclear.

    Gas masks – North half-mask respirator, but no non-expired cartridges. With some forewarning I could liberate some SCBA.

    Water – I need to resupply. I drink tap but use distilled for coffee.

    First Aid/trauma kits – three, but some are pretty rinkydink

    Dried and canned foods/MREs – no MREs, dried grains and canned food yes.

    • Sean

      I was gonna tease you based on the handgun thing, but 30L of brown liquor, you’re pre-approved. Don’t forget the bacon.

      • Not Adahn

        At least I have holsters for all of them.

      • Rhywun

        30L of brown liquor

        Seriously. That is hard-core.

      • Not Adahn

        Not really.

        I buy handles of utility bourbons. And then I’ve been buying ryes to write up for here, and then I’ve been collecting scotches.

        What happens is, I love trying new things. If I love it, I always keep it in the cabinet. If I don’t love it, but think company might, or might be impressed by it, I leave it in the cabinet but don’t drink it. I like giving guests options. The only bottles I empty are those I consider disposable or ones that I have a resupply available. So right now I’ve stopped drinking my Taliskers since the local liqour stores aren’t carrying it and their special order prices are stupid in part thanks to Trump.

  31. hayeksplosives

    My guess is this week, possibly next, is peak quarantine compliance. Soon after, people will be stir crazy and kind of over the “It’s HAPPENING” adrenaline, and they will revert to normalcy. Whether they clamor until the states make it legal to relax, or the black market and speakeasy access to services will commence.

    My fervent hope is that people realize how foolishly close they were to turning over their rights and freedoms to a bunch of knuckleheads.

    • Tundra

      Shit, I hope you are right.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Well, it will have to be black market, because I don’t think the various gubment officials will give up so quickly. They’re having far too much fun.

      • R C Dean

        This. Their authoritay boners are rock-hard.

      • juris imprudent

        Swift kick to the nads will clear that right up!

    • DEG

      You’re more optimistic than me.

    • pistoffnick

      I admire your optimism.

      I wish I was as optimistic.

    • Rhywun

      I’m giving it at least two more weeks. The number of cases is skyrocketing where I am.

      • Rhywun

        *Not that I derive any particular conclusion out of this. Could just be more test results coming back, for example.

    • peachy rex

      I agree. People will put up with a lot of shit – *if* they can see the bodies. If they can’t, they vote with their wallets. So unless the corpses start piling up soon, people (even the work-from-home types) are going to lose patience… at which point the authorities can either relax the restrictions, or face mass civil disobedience.

      • juris imprudent

        *insert Remain Calm, All is Well [gif]*

  32. leon

    I have nothing.

    Now on a seperate poll, could some of you that have something give me your address and times you plan to be out?

    • UnCivilServant

      You know, we’re generally a helpful lot. If you asked nicely and found a useful commodoty to contribute, you could probably get a spot in a bunker.

    • Not Adahn

      If you have no goods to offer, you will need to provide useful services.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      On the curb outside 123 Sesame Street. I’m usually never gone, but I retreat into the sewers after 4pm for my evening constitutional.

  33. DEG

    Alcohol – not enough

    Ammunition – not enough

    Guns – not enough

    Gasoline and/or other fuel – Not counting the car, I know I have some in a gas can but I honestly cannot remember how much.

    TP – plenty for now

    Hand sanitizer – none

    Knives – not enough

    Siege weaponry – none. Sad.

    Bleach – a gallon or so

    Gas masks – none

    Water – I need a stash. I’m a little too reliant on the tap.

    First Aid/trauma kits – just some bandages

    Dried and canned foods/MREs – no MREs. Dried grains.

  34. The Bearded Hobbit

    Running out of my anti seizure medicine would be the suck though. No substitute for that.

    This x6.22E23

    I’ve got most of the stuff on SP’s list but about a month after my blood pressure meds run out I’m on my way to a stroke.

    Buddy has this for sale for $550. Mmmm.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Same here with the blood pressure meds. I’m wondering now if my doctor will allow me to set up my prescriptions so I always have a 3-6 month supply on hand.

      • Count Potato

        For blood pressure meds getting 3 months should be easy.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m thinking if I run out of Keppra and start having breakthrough seizures, I have to set myself up in the new tribal order as a shaman who occasionally has a trance and a vision.

      • Tres Cool

        +1 aura

  35. Yusef drives a Kia

    I got stuff…………

    • Not Adahn

      You might appreciate this

  36. Not Adahn

    I haven’t had brandy for more than a decade. I’d forgotten how good it is.

  37. Count Potato

    This from the previous thread worries me 🙁

    “If you stay in a room with an infected person for an hour or so, you will get infected. Prior to showing symptoms, people start producing record breaking numbers of virii that coat their nasal passages, throats, and mouths. Those large numbers guarantee that the moisture droplets people exhale normally are carrying a significant number of virii which will float around until someone inhales it.”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      GET OUT!

      • Count Potato

        Huh?

    • IRBE

      I think the above is quite hyperbolic… “Those large numbers guarantee that the moisture droplets people exhale normally are carrying a significant number of virii which will float around until someone inhales it.”–> This is just wrong according to Stoke’s Law. My experience there are no guarantees in biological science.

      • Count Potato

        I just hope it means I couldn’t have caught it just walking around a supermarket.

      • Tundra

        It’s fucking Osterholm.

        The guy mixes good science with TOTALFREAKOUT.

        He’s a douche, so I have no idea what’s gonna happen.

      • kinnath

        I was saying the other day that Osterholm made my bullshit meter twitch badly.

        I didn’t trust anything he said.

      • Count Potato

        I’m just worried because I have to take care of my mom who is in a very high risk group. So I keep wondering if I’m carrying it.

      • Tundra

        Yes, I totally understand.

        My MIL is 82 and frail as shit. I take care of her house, garbage, car, etc. I told her to get the garbage in the cans, but otherwise I’m not coming into the house.

        It cracks me up that she thinks I’m being ridiculous.

        I think Osterholm is a panic-porn freak, but I’m not gonna take chances.

      • IRBE

        Well..when you go out and come back assume that you are carrying.

        So take off your coat and bouffant (hat), and wash your hands and face, and brush your teeth before you come in close contact to her…it is all you can do.

      • Count Potato

        Thanks, I hadn’t thought of washing my face and brushing my teeth.

        The above makes it sound like I’m infecting the house every time I breath (if I have it).

        I asked about getting tested, but apparently I need to have a high fever to get the test.

      • RAHeinlein

        May I suggest a re-google of Stoke’s Law?

      • Tres Cool

        Reynolds’s may also like a word, vis-à-vis transmission

        (the law, not the foil on my head)

      • RAHeinlein

        All just dead, white, men, so who cares??

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, there were instances on the Diamond Princess where the spouse didn’t pick it up. And that’s in the same relatively small cabin.

  38. straffinrun

    The best option is to destroy the economy, have massive social unrest, turn to strong man government and finally end up with more dead than if you hadn’t done anything. Our leaders are wise.

    • leon

      Can’t have a pandemic if everyone is dead from the civil war….

      • straffinrun

        If you would only stay home and die quietly, we wouldn’t have to do this.

      • Ted S.

        I thought everyone was dead from the end of net neutrality.

  39. Yusef drives a Kia

    Food for at least a month
    Fuel for my portable stove
    Lots of ready light charcoal
    Tons of cleaners and sanitizers
    Cases of water
    1/2 oz. of weed
    Fifth of Bourbon for trade goods
    3/4 tank of gas
    Cash

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      And tons of Medical supplies, Doc Rowe would have loved me….

    • Tulip

      Hmm, adds charcoal to my list

      • UnCivilServant

        I have fifty pounds of real coal, and nothing to burn it in.

  40. leon

    @TPTB: I have submitted an article re Man Yells at Clouds Coronavirus. Feel free to schedule it for whatever time slot you need to fill

  41. Yusef drives a Kia

    What is Lyrica used for? I know a guy with a bunch that he doesn’t know what to do with……

    • pistoffnick

      Drug.com says:

      Lyrica (pregabalin) was originally FDA approved as an anti-epileptic drug, also called an anticonvulsant. It works by slowing down impulses in the brain that cause seizures. Pregabalin also affects chemicals in the brain that send pain signals across the nervous system.

      Lyrica is used to treat pain caused by fibromyalgia, or nerve pain in people with diabetes (diabetic neuropathy), herpes zoster (post-herpetic neuralgia), or spinal cord injury.

    • Count Potato

      I used to take it. It’s used for a number of different neurological things — seizures, headaches, etc. It can also work as an an anxiolytic.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Thanks to both of you, it makes sense now, Good SHTF drugs

  42. Nephilium

    Alcohol: Plenty, and I can make more.

    No guns/ammo. Plenty of knives (mostly for cooking).

    Water: Not much saved, but I can make water potable with the same equipment used to make alcohol.

    First Aid/Trauma kits: Quite a bit, and have a greater then average knowledge of first aid.

    Dried/Canned food: Enough to last me for a bit, and a chest freezer full of meat. If we lose power, I may have to convert quite a few roasts into jerky. With all the panic buying, I decided to start up a sourdough starter again, and will be making some bread this weekend with it. I have a feeling the deer in the area would be getting skittish around people pretty damned quickly if SHTF.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Does Sourdough keep better than regular bread? I love it, and of course no one is buying it, so stocks are full

      • The Hyperbole

        Not to speak for Neph but I believe the purpose of the sourdough starter is that you always have a source of yeast for your bread making, not that the bread made has a longer shelf life.

      • Nephilium

        You got it Hyperbole. I enjoy sourdough, and it’s pretty easy to make a starter. It takes three ingredients: flour, water, and time. One downside is it needs to be used (or discarded) on a regular basis. You can also use the sourdough starter to make other bread products, one that I made regularly last time I had a sourdough starter going were these English Muffins.

    • KSuellington

      Right on, my wife has a seven year mother of sourdough going on that we use to make bread and pancakes. Plenty of flour as well.

      • Nephilium

        Hell. No where to go, I need something to do to keep myself busy at home. I’ve got four (maybe five) different kinds of flour already, and I’m planning on making some spent grain flour from the grain I make beer with this weekend (16 lbs of grain being used in the beer).

    • Tulip

      When I went to the store last week, the yeast was sold out. So, I’m making a sourdough starter. (I have some yeast). *looks around*

      • Nephilium

        I’ve got yeast on hand, and brewing yeast can be used to make bread (and bread yeast can make alcohol). And if you’ve got bottle conditioned beer on hand (or non-filtered beer), you’ve probably got brewers yeast. It’s just a matter of capturing it, and stepping it up into a viable amount.

      • Tulip

        I make bread often enough that I started this today, and it already looks a little bubbly

  43. one true athena

    My kid built a model trebuchet, I don’t think it’ll be terrible useful in a Mad Max dystopia, but if movies have taught me anything it’s that exotic weapons always have the Element of Surprise, so we’ll be okay.

    Luckily I hit costco before the freakout so we’re good supply wise, but no, I’m not a prepper, except for the inordinate amount of snacks in the pantry. And they’re all half-open, too, no matter how I try to get the kid to finish one before moving on to the next one. I’m gonna have to venture out for eggs tomorrow, before I get my hair cut wearing my flapper dress and sliding in the back of the salon to indulge in the black market business.

    I also have bio weapons, since the kiddo just got over influenza. I can probably infect some neighbors if I move quickly to take them out with used tissues before the garbage pickup.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      12 Monkeys!!!!
      /Good luck,

    • straffinrun

      Pretty much everyone infected has a bio weapon now. It’s like having a gun at grandma’s head. “One move and I’ll sneeze on the old lady!”

  44. straffinrun

    Trump had a presser where he said something along the lines of, “If every American follows these procedures, we will [something, something overcome this soon]”. The goofs at CDC said something similar. Good luck getting every American to do anything. These guys haven’t met Florida man.

    • leon

      Our plan is simple. It just requires 300 million people to follow instructions to the T.

  45. The Bearded Hobbit

    Siege weaponry

    I have a potato cannon, if ever I feel a need to hurl tubers at advancing forces.

    • pistoffnick

      Spawn #3 has an arsenal of nerf guns.

      Won’t go with me to the range to shoot real guns. /where have I gone wrong in raising him?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I guess I dodged that bullet (hah!). All of my progeny love to shoot. Been giving the grandkids .22 rifles for their 12th birthday.

      • SP

        In my family it was graduation from 8th grade, since that was a big deal back when the ancestors started doing it.

      • Fourscore

        You are a great Grandpa.

      • DEG

        Seconded.

  46. kinnath

    Alcohol — Maybe 2,000 bottles wine, mead, beer, and cider. Maybe 15 to 20 kegs mead, beer, cider.

    Ammunition — not enough

    Guns — not enough

    Gasoline and/or other fuel — what’s in the truck and the snow blower. Several 20 lb propane tanks.

    TP — one big pack from Sam’s

    Hand sanitizer — no idea, ask the wife

    Knives — a couple

    Siege weaponry — none, but I can find plans

    Bleach — none

    Gas masks — none

    Water — all I can draw from the well until the electric goes out

    First Aid/trauma kits — I think there is one in the truck.

    Dried and canned foods/MREs — maybe 250 lbs of barley, wheat, and oats

    • Count Potato

      “Alcohol — Maybe 2,000 bottles wine, mead, beer, and cider. Maybe 15 to 20 kegs mead, beer, cider.”

      Wow. You win.

    • Not Adahn

      For your PCC question:

      Step 1: Do you already own a 9mm pistol with several magazines?

      1a. If it’s a Glock congratulations! You have eleventy billion options made by every gun company you’ve heard of and most that you haven’t. Palmetto State Armory is the value leader in this regard.

      1b. If it’s not a Glock, but is an insanely popular modern pistol, there is an adapter that will let you run your mags in an AR platform. You will need to buy an 8oz buffer and a 9mm upper. Here’s ones for M&P, Sig P320, CZ75 and of course Glock.

      Step 2: If not, buy a Ruger PC9. Unless you’re rich, in which case buy a CMMG. I am a CZ fanboi, and the CMMG is better in every way than the Skorpion.

      • kinnath

        1911 guy. Between my wife and I, we have two each of Springfield 1911 EMP 4, Springfield 1911 EMP, and Sig Sauer p938. At least half a dozen magazines for each pistol.

        The Ruger PC Carbine is on the list of options (I just ordered a Ruger Mini-14 from Buds).

      • kinnath

        I should have clarified. All pistols are 9 mm.

      • Tejicano

        1911 guy too – just not exclusive to them. I’ve got three standard pattern (5″ barrel, 7-8 round), three hi-cap (5″ barrel/14 round), and one 3″ barrel/6-round.

        But I also have HK, FN, Glock, Walther, and Springfield Armory hi-cap, poly-framed – all in major calibers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The CMMG in 10mm looks sweet.

    • DEG

      Alcohol — Maybe 2,000 bottles wine, mead, beer, and cider. Maybe 15 to 20 kegs mead, beer, cider.

      Beautiful.

      • kinnath

        One of the rare times when have an obsessive hobby pays off.

      • juris imprudent

        My house has a full basement w/ garage under the main floor. The back corner of the garage will be a wine cellar one day – I just have to wall it off and do the racks. With two walls already below grade it won’t take much insulation to have a very nice cellar.

  47. LemonGrenade

    Travel trailer is well maintained and we can be hitched up and out of here in about an hour if we have to. As close to the DC area as I am, my first instinct will always be bug out if things go crazy. But honestly, apart from my children reverting to total savagery because they canceled school through mid-April, I’m not worried. I’ve been working from home for more than a decade and my company is doing unexpectedly well in the face of mass panic. As long as supply lines don’t completely collapse, I’ll keep on as usual.

  48. The Other Kevin

    Luckily there have been some great meat sales the past few weeks so we went into this with three freezers full of keto food. Mrs TOK has been shopping a few times this week so we have about double the normal stock of TP, bleach, and cleaning supplies.

  49. R C Dean

    Booze – 7 -10 gallons, at a guess. Could be more. Running two 5 liter barrels (wait – three) runs up the score.

    Guns – adequate.

    Ammo – need MOAR.

    3 weeks of food, give or take.

    I do need to get a serious first aid kit.

    • juris imprudent

      I do need to get a serious first aid kit.

      Wife being an EMT (and as obsessive with kit as kinnath is with booze), we are well set.

      • Tundra

        Can you recommend a pre-made kit?

  50. The Bearded Hobbit

    Our long-term food supply is based upon a 50lb sack of pinto beans. All the way back to college days I heeded the Mormon dictate of 1 year of food. It might get pretty boring after a while but beans will feed the Mrs. and me for a long time.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      And they’re good for your heart!

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I knew that was coming!

    • prolefeed

      At one point I had the year supply of food. A ginormous pile of #10 cans that I hauled around a couple places and stashed everywhere, before ditching everything but my car shipped to the mainland, a couple suitcases full of stuff, and a crazy Vietnamese GF/future-ex GF who I ignored the “don’t stick your dick in crazy” advice about because I didn’t see the crazy right fucking in front of me.

  51. SP

    I am seriously, seriously disappointed by the apparent lack of siege weaponry among Glibs.

    • robc

      You mean the lack of seige weaponry that we will admit to, right?

      • prolefeed

        Plenty of siege weaponry. Lakes full of it.

      • SP

        Well, I did qualify it with “apparent” lack.

      • dbleagle

        My trebuchet is in the shop and the mechanics are saying it is hard to get parts.

        The “Shit Shack” logistics are classified but I will cop to a gladius, scutum and a pilum on hand. The scutum is not to standard (actually pretty sucky) but the gladius has the start of a really nice edge. It would do the job.

    • Tundra

      A guy near me built a trebuchet. My plan is to ply him with weed and booze.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I am seriously, seriously disappointed by the apparent lack of siege weaponry among Glibs.

      Did I mention my potato cannon?

      • UnCivilServant

        But after you’ve fired Spudalicious and Count Potato, we’re out of ammo.

      • SP

        You’re going to waste perfectly good potatoes during a crisis of this magnitude???

      • UnCivilServant

        You know what, you can make concrete slugs of the right diameter using a shorter length of pipe as a mold, with a release agent to get it out.

        Alternatively, you could make brick slugs with fewer materials.

      • Jarflax

        Your husband has assured us numerous times that Spud is not perfectly good.

      • Gender Traitor

        Does your potato cannon use hair spray as the fuel? ‘Cause I have a full can of Aqua Net I won at an ’80s themed office party.

    • pistoffnick

      Former cow-orker made a trebuchet that would chuck a 12″ diameter piece of wood 1/4 mile onto the lake.

      It’s probably rotten by now.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I asked for clarification in my response!

  52. prolefeed

    Maybe three months of food, if careful. Counting extra bags of dog food in the total. And the dog.

    Guns / ammo – a series of unfortunate boating accidents. In central Texas, a 5 hour drive from the beach.

    Water / TP – plenty. Arguably on the edge of wretched excess.

    Cleaning supplies – wife has OCD, so definitely wretched excess.

  53. UnCivilServant

    Product recommendation to anyone afflicted with a stupid ban on stores giving out plastic bags.

    The Uline Deluxe tshirt bags are really strong. I’ve loaded them up with far more than a normal bag could take with no fear that it was going to fail. Back in the 80s they made trash bags of the thickness these things use (not anymore though). It almost makes up for them being $0.20/bag. But with their durability, they can easily be used more than once.

    • Rhywun

      Interesting. I’ve already lost one of the five-pack of reusable bags I bought. Apparently the nylon material can’t withstand the rigors of a plastic vodka-bottle cap lying on its side and chewing a hole in the bottom of it.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know of any bag that would survive that. Stand your vodka bottles up. Standing bottles cause less bag damage.

      • Rhywun

        Enh, they were standing up when I left the liquor store. The bags are so damn big that stuff flops around in them as I’m walking home.

    • Gustave Lytton

      1.5mil ?

  54. Old Man With Candy

    When I read the title, I thought, “If anyone should know, it’d be you,” but then it turned out to be about something else entirely.

    • RAHeinlein

      Sheesh, not that penis inches thing again today…we don’t measure time in dog years.

      • SP

        LOLOL

      • Old Man With Candy

        In dog years, I’m like 460. I look pretty good for that.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        we don’t measure time in dog years

        “I’m not drunk. I’ve only had two in dog beers” (burp)

    • SP

      I’d roll my eyes so far back I could see China, but I don’t want to catch anything.

  55. Fourscore

    Someone once said”If you know how many guns/ammo you have you don’t have enough”

    I could use a generator to pump water with, if necessary. I do have a friend with one, however, and he may be short something that I have in abundance.

    At the combo liquor/grocery store I asked if the smokers were stocking up. The clerk said not too much, ciggies are relatively expensive but they were selling the makings at a greater rate. She did say the generic booze was in greater demand than the quality merchandise.

    We’re not preppers by definition but live quite a ways from the big box stores so we tend to buy in quantity.

    • Plinker762

      Sweet, I guess I have enough guns and ammo.

    • Tundra

      Don’t worry. If the shit hits the fan, you send me a list and we will be there in a few hours.

      I hope your wife likes me.

    • Gustave Lytton

      We’re not preppers by definition but live quite a ways from the big box stores so we tend to buy in quantity.

      Same here. Easier to make a trip every couple of months for shelf goods or just have Walmart send it since we’ve got the room for it.

  56. Cannoli

    I’m pretty well stocked for normal life – about a month’s worth of food in the freezer, Costco-size supplies of TP, soap, laundry detergent, food for the dog, etc. We have several huge bottles of hand sanitizer because I bought them in bulk two years ago and only ever used them as a last resort if I couldn’t wash my hands for some reason.

    I’m not at all prepared for any serious SHTF scenario. For example, I have very little food that doesn’t need refrigeration.

    I had a fender bender today in the grocery store parking lot, which I shouldn’t have even bothered trying to go to because they still don’t have eggs. So now I need to go get the car fixed and hope Allstate doesn’t total it (the damage isn’t bad, but the car is 14 years old).

  57. Suthenboy

    No one is laughing at the preppers now, are they?

    Taking the long view – Just heard Tom Cotton talking about a bill to ban imports of pharmaceuticals from China and had this thought: The reason so much outsourcing is done in China is because it is cheap and it cheap because China uses slave labor. We have ended slavery here in the US but we still outsource our slave labor.
    If China proves to be so much of a problem that we end our outsourcing to them prices will go up yet it may(?) put an end or reduction of slavery in China. The country currently has millions of people in Slavery, possibly more than existed in the world only a couple of hundred years ago. Silver lining?

    Any thoughts?

    • IRBE

      Most of the Active Pharma Ingredients made in China are off-patent and/or require chemistry that is highly regulated due to waste by-products disposal which is cheaper or free in China. For instance, penicillin production must be done in a dedicated facilities forever.

      Have you seen how fast they can build a hospital there and when done or not …how fast it can fall down.

      FYI there are probably more drug products made in India than China for some of the same reasons.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Fuck Aurobindo.

    • hayeksplosives

      I would like to see fewer imports from slave wages/conditions countries, even though out prices would increase. Perhaps wages would need fewer artificial supports like min wage.

      I am torn because money wise, I want the made in China cheap stuff, but morally it’s bad. It will take a lot of collective willpower or a national law,, which generally worries me.

      Main reason I want more US made goods, esp in certain sectors, is for national and personal security. Chinese knock off integrated circuits (chips), impure materials, backdoor paths into pc and phone—-Chinese are up to no good.

      DoD needs to open multiple chip factories in the US, American owned. I see no way around it.

      • Jarflax

        China is asshole

      • hayeksplosives

        There’s good reason that Musk is putting in place the pieces to build his own batteries in the future. He’s not interested in being beholden to Eastasia for batteries any more.

    • Rhywun

      I need proof of this “slave” labor people keep mentioning before I can comment on that. Like, actual bondage or just “wages we would consider low”?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The PRC, because it’s a totalitarian Maoist shithole, uses a corrections system known as laojiao, where our chain gangs would break up rocks in farmland or clean litter on the side of the highway, their prisoners work in factories making Christmas decorations or knock-off Star Wars toys.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Fascism with Chinese characteristics.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Sad thing is that if you look at what Sun Yat-Sen and Chiang Kai-Shek believed, that is exactly it. The 3 Principles of the People is, quite literally, Chinese National Socialism. That’s why Chiang was allied with the Germans until they threw him under the bus to ally with the Japanese prior to the 2nd Sino-Japanese War. Further adding to insult, Chiang’s Wehrmacht-trained troops were just about eliminated to a man during the Battle of Nanking.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, and we supported the KMT dictatorship for years afterwards because they opposed the chicoms.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      China uses slave labor

      China does use slave labor, but so do we. And we have a greater percentage of our population incarcerated per capita than China does as well to be used for that slave labor as well.

      The primary reason Chinese labor is cheap is because China has a lot of labor. 1.5 billion people, and a good portion of those adults need to work.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, ours make license plates and hand sanitizer.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Bloomberg passed a law a while back that will have them dig mass graves on Riker’s Island if Tom Hanks Disease turns deadly.

    • Tundra

      Slavery and bullshit regs.

      We can make as much of whatever we need. It’s easy.

      • IRBE

        Like most things it’s complicated. Most of the cost of drugs is in the final drug product and packaging. Those ops are automated. Next is testing. Slave laborers doing biochemistry is rare. There is just not that much labor in drug product manufacture.

        To me it is the regulations and the opportunity costs that domestic manufacturing facilities want to employ on more profitable products (new, on patent drugs and devices).

  58. hayeksplosives

    I admit I’ll need a gas or diesel generator to keep the car charged. Tough call on Tesla vs Ford.

    Probably would go Ford Escape, tbh.

    • Ted S.

      Ford Escape

      The piña colada car.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Well, they had to ditch the Bronco. After that whole OJ Simpson thing….

  59. Tulip

    I have about 1 month of food. I have cash, booze and some bacon (plan to get more.)

    • Tulip

      Waves at Sean.

  60. straffinrun

    YOU FUCKING HOMOS STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! DON’T TOUCH MY SHIT CANT YOU SEE I’M TRYING TO THINK HERE! GODDAMIT! EVERY. DAMN. TIME. …

    I’m so sorry about that, Glibs. It’s stress from the pandemic and you can’t blame me for blowing off a little steam, can you? You know I love you and would never hurt you. Remember that time I took you to the beach? OH GREAT! HERE COME THE WATERWORKS! BOO HOO. I JUST FUCKING APOLOGIZED AND NOW YU START CRYING?! THIS IS BULLSHIT> IM OUTTA HERE!

  61. hayeksplosives

    My boss called this evening at about 5:30, so after regular work hours. He said the new company covid 19 guidance is “work from home if you can” instead of “work from home if you want or need to.”

    • straffinrun

      Your choice?

  62. The Bearded Hobbit

    Any Glibs fleeing the SHTF toward northern NM are welcome. Just show up in the open and know the password (hint: password is “Zardoz”)

    • one true athena

      The weird lady crying on the lawn of the house she grew up at is me.

    • Tres Cool

      Change it to FUCK OFF SLAVER

    • commodious spittoon

      I’d likely end up in northern New Mexico, but closer to Abiquiu.

    • Tejicano

      If the world does fall apart during my upcoming trip back to the US I may come looking for a place to ally with. Just keep a good place open on your perimeter for a medium belt-fed MG. Hopefully you will have some good neighbors who can handle firearms who I can arm. You’ll get first pick on long arms.

      • R C Dean

        “a good place open on your perimeter for a medium belt-fed MG”

        I have just the spot. Covered by a good overwatch position, even.

      • Plinker762

        If SHTF, I might** be able to assemble (2x) 1919, (1x) MG-42, (1x) PKM and (2x) BREN in their original configurations.

        ** Dear ATF, these are only theoretical

      • Tejicano

        Class-3 M1919A4 already covered. Built, running and 3k rounds on links on hand.

        I’ve also got the leftover full-auto parts from some AK builds which would drop right in to the RPK-style AK I have set up with 75 round drums.

  63. MikeS

    Here we go… I just learned that one of our large customers is pushing out by months, as well as outright canceling some, orders with us and their other suppliers due to Tom Hanks Disease. This isn’t a GM or John Deere sized company, but it’s not small potatoes either. In my 20 years in manufacturing, I’ve seen that we can usually see the ups and downs coming about 6 months before the rest of the economy. Obviously we don’t have 6 months this time. I fear the economy is about to come screeching to a (near) halt.

    • hayeksplosives

      Are short-sellers somehow “laundering” their losses/gains through virus panic, using it as an excuse to cut their own losses where they can?

      • RAHeinlein

        See Bill Ackman.

      • MikeS

        It could be with this company. I hope that’s the case. Hard to say for certain, yet. There is a bigger player we do a lot of work for, and if we get the same letter from them, then things are really bad.

    • straffinrun

      We just need our Top Men to step in and start micromanaging supply chains. This goes here, that goes there type thing.

  64. Yusef drives a Kia

    I need a gun, any ideas? I’m pretty broke, but AZ, so someting should be cheap,

    • Chipwooder

      Handgun, rifle, or shotgun?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Shotgun probably, cheap and easy and Big

      • Chipwooder

        I’m partial to the Remington 870, which I have. Old Reliable, there are a million of them out there so you can almost certainly find a cheap one. I paid $250 for mine.

      • Chipwooder

        Here, there are over 1300 of them for sale on Gunbroker.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Holy Shit! i can afford one of those, thanks!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        This also tells me i can walk into one of the Dozen Gun shops in town and find Something,

      • R C Dean

        Also pawn shops.

      • dbleagle

        I prefer a good side by side double barrel shotgun to a pump gun. You can pick up a nice 12 gauge for a good price in any of the suggested venues. Plus once the THD panic dies you can enjoy many a good day hunting quail this fall. AZ has some great quail hunting.

    • kinnath

      Springfield XD-M or XD-S; Smith and Wesson M&P or M&P Shield.

    • KSuellington

      Get a cheap Mossberg 500. It comes with the 28 and 18.5 inch barrel and pistol grip so you can hunt with it, shoot skeet and defend with it.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’ll just get a sword, I can’t afford a gun…..

      • UnCivilServant

        Swords cost as much as guns these days.

      • kinnath

        But a sword doesn’t require the additional expense of ammo.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I had both stolen from me, by my son, nice eh….

      • UnCivilServant

        It has the disadvantage of only being melee range.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I was always dual wield,
        Dwarf Warrior

      • KSuellington

        We’ll throw another shrimp on the barbie for you.

      • straffinrun

        I’m in the same boat. Even swords are regulated here, though.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re no samurai, no sword for you.

      • Count Potato

        Tuna knife?

      • straffinrun

        Leave my wife out of this.

      • Tejicano

        The regulations are not too difficult to deal with but they are freaking pricey for anything worth having.

        For actual effectiveness a nice tomahawk with a 20″ haft is a good weapon. A baseball bat gives you a bit more reach if not the same effect. But at least the bat won’t get you in the level of trouble that any blade will if the law gets involved.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        What @K said. Mossberg 500 combos were so cheap at one point that pretty much every one of my friends bought one.

        Be wary of the pistol grip, however. It felt like it had broken my wrist.

      • Tres Cool

        …hand on the top

  65. Chipwooder

    Well, we have a fair bit of meat in the freezer – a whole turkey, a couple of bags of chicken breast and thighs, a brisket, about ten pounds of ground beef, some various cuts of venison, a corned beef. Other than that, our nonperishables are the same as most people.

    The one thing I did stock up on before things got out of hand was hand sanitizer, got a dozen or so bottle of it so we have plenty in each car as well as the house.

    TP, well, we have maybe 8 rolls in the house but my parents have one of those giant cubes from Costco in their garage, so no worries there.

    Guns….a Remington 870, an SKS (Yugo! Not that virus-carrying Norinco!), a Marlin .22, and a Taurus .38. One of these days I’m gonna get another pistol. I used to have an EAA/Tanfoglio Witness .40 S&W (CZ75 clone) and liked it, but sold it when I needed a few extra bucks.

  66. creech

    Just so Q has a well stocked gallery of FLBP and NSFW photos to cheer us up.

    • straffinrun

      NSFWFH. I’d still click.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Pulls out conch shell and blows…

  67. Chipping Pioneer

    OK, so, I, for one, am concerned that our government is going to use the current situation to seriously restrict our rights. There is talk that Trudeau is considering restricting the movements of citizens within our borders. Which I wouldn’t be worried about except for the very first clause of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms:

    1. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.

    The standard under which this should happen should be extraordinarily high, which the current situation is not. Unfortunately Trudeau does not have the capacity to understand this.

    Back to a comment that I had last week: this has the potential to be an experiment to determine to what extent world governments can control the masses. /tinfoilhat

    • straffinrun

      They have the power to violate human rights and no matter how hard they try to weigh rights and safety, they will always veer towards violating rights. The government gets to use the excuse that your behavior not only hurts you but can hurt others. Dictators have used that excuse forever.

  68. Private Chipperbot

    Should I buy a m1 variant with my coming Trump cash? Or better off with an AR frame? Serious question.

    • R C Dean

      Honestly, probably the AR. more option, support, ammo(?). Love my M1A, but honestly a good AR is probably a better SHTF gun.

      • Plinker762

        Yes, more AR parts and magazines in circulation. More likely to be able to resupply off the bodies of your adversaries.

    • Crusty Juggler

      AR.

      or a 9mm carbine. Fight me.

      • Tejicano

        I’d be grabbing my folding stock FAL first but I still have AR’s around for if I have to rely on the smaller caliber ammo I can scrounge. (But I would still probably running with my 5.56 Galil as long as the magazines are working right)

      • Plinker762

        I love my L1A1 and AR in 7.62×39. But in the end, the AR in .223 is the winner because I’m pretty sure it has the greatest availability of ammo, mags and spare parts.

      • Tejicano

        I’ve got about 70 magazines for the FAL and 5 more FAL’s to cannibalize for parts. I have a couple AR’s in 5.56 but prefer the Galil for simplicity and reliability if that’s the only ammo I can get.

      • Plinker762

        No need to fight, an AR 9mm carbine

  69. Timeloose

    I talked to my gun shop owner today. I was in there on sat and he had cleaned out Most of his low cost ar14’s, and glocks. Today he has nothing left but $1k pistols, grandpa’s old hunting rifles, and benelli shotguns.

    The place was stocked relatively well on Sat, even with the Glock and low end AR-14’s being snatched up. Everyone he met this week was a new customer.

    Ammo is also getting dear.

    • Tejicano

      Very glad to hear that a lot of people are getting off their collective butz and becoming gun owners. Especially this close to a major election. People on the fence or who bought something years ago might not think much about it but people who saw a big, real world reason to buy now will be hearing Biden’s gun-grabber noise as more of a direct threat than they might have two months ago.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Keep in mind that there a likely a lot of people buying, that resent “having to do” so, and would likely still push for GC (maybe even more stringent). Just to do away with this whole icky boom-stick mess.

        I have come to presume that there is a sizable contingent of people who, when they exercise their Rights/liberty, become even more enamored of being taken care of by government, and hate what they just did, or, experienced.

      • Tejicano

        I guess I’m hoping/expecting that once they have crossed that line and actually have a gun around the house the feeling gets a bit more comfortable. Mt step-brother went that way a few years ago. Before that he was ambivalent about guns – not negative but not interested. Then he found a reason to get his CCW and first handgun. Now he picks my brain all the time about the next rifle, shotgun, or pistol he’s getting.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Oh, I hope this happens, too. And, I’m sure it will for some. I am just pessimistic about anything overly positive happening (i.e. large number of minds changed).

        Then again, any little bit helps.

  70. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    Just went and did a quick booze check. Around 70 litres, about 80% of which is 80 proof or higher.
    Ammo: won’t say. Enough to get the job done if necessary.
    Guns: won’t say. Enough to get the job done if necessary.
    Gasoline and/or other fuel: enough for a couple of weeks of 1 hot meal/day
    TP: 58 double rolls (what? It was time to replenish just before the SHTF…)
    Hand sanitizer: it’s called “soap,” and there’s lots of it.
    Knives: boatloads
    Siege weaponry: tragic boating accident, I’m afraid
    Bleach: 4 litres
    Gas masks: nope
    Water: yep.
    First Aid/trauma kits: indeed.
    Dried and canned foods/MREs: three months’ worth, approx.; (MREs are poor value for the money)

    Seriously, the local Safeway had everything I needed/wanted today, including stupid amounts of fresh food. I’m pretty sure this ain’t the Apocalypse.
    On the other hand, my Federal government is doing its level best to make the situation much worse. Assholes.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      The apocalypse won’t be biological. It will be the worldwide economic depression that will occur afterwards.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Like I said, “my Federal government.”
        Assholes.

      • straffinrun

        Reaction to the depression that follows it.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’m pissed off because it’s 3 years ahead of schedule according to my plan.

      • straffinrun

        It’ll take a little longer to destroy this ethno state. According to the average Taro I’ve talked to, the virus is under control here because Japanese genes are STRONG. SoI asked him, “Compared to who?” Conversation got uncomfortable after that.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Must be all the radiation that gives them resistance.

      • straffinrun

        Atom Boy got Wuflu, too.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        The Sun Rises in the East, tell me something new HM,

      • kinnath

        Agreed. The government is destroying the economy. Just in time for my upcoming retirement too.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        It will be the worldwide economic depression that will occur afterwards.

        Yup. 1929, here we go again.

      • Tundra

        It’s so bizarre. We came out of the chute stronger than any of the last 10 years. Now I’m wondering if we will make it until summer.

        Ugh.

      • Crusty Juggler

        “We came out of the chute stronger”

        lol

      • Jarflax

        Which will lead to outbreaks of various ‘normal’ diseases. TB, cholera, typhoid, plain old every day flu all get more dangerous when people are malnourished and sanitation systems break down.

      • Gustave Lytton

        This is what worries me, even if the most dire models of the current virus are correct.

    • Crusty Juggler

      ” Ammo: won’t say. Enough to get the job done if necessary.”

      All you need is one to end the suffering…

    • straffinrun

      Afraid to ask, but how exactly do you get this permit?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Be in good with someone at TABC.

        Good ol’ boys…

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        He’s only* referring to AlcBev permits, for restaurants/pubs/etc…not some new kind of permit.

        *just for clarification–fuck the licensing system

      • Crusty Juggler

        10 in the stink, 4 in the pink?

  71. Gender Traitor

    ::looks down list::

    Suffice it to say, we are ready because yes, we did go through That Phase a while back. I was a little skeptical, but went along with it. Now I’m glad we did.

    Except alcohol – Mr. GT is “allergic” (“I break out in handcuffs.”) I’d be happy with a stash of wine just for myself…which I don’t have right now. (Note to self: go to favorite winery & get a mixed case of all the favorites. They could use the business.)

    We also have two generators – the big noisy one we were lucky to find after Hurricane Ike (dry hurricane) came through, and a smaller, not so noisy one. That one got used after last springs tornado.

    As I said the other day, “Expect everything, and the unexpected never happens.”

    • straffinrun

      Good job, Mr GT. All that camping gear we’ve accumulated over the years will double nicely as emergency gear. Stoves, gas, lamps, etc. Food prep was done after getting burned by the Earthquake in 2011. Only problem is not standing out like a sore 6’3” thumb.

  72. Jarflax

    Ok which one of you guys is linking Glibs in Michael Z. Williamson’s facebook?

    • Heroic Mulatto

      As MZW once commented for a while on HnR, it could be him, himself.

      • Jarflax

        No, the person who posted it used their account so I know the RL name, and can guess within a couple of tries who they are here from the clues in their public profile, but that would be unfair.

      • Mojeaux

        I had to Google the dude, so … it was not I.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Check out this one trying to throw us off the scent.

      • Mojeaux

        ???

    • Tres Cool

      I dont FB, so not it

  73. Mad Scientist

    So, hypothetically, after all the public infrastructure goes to shit and people start eating their in-laws, where’s the best place for a bunch of libertarians to (ugh) get together and start over?

    • Tundra

      South Dakota.

      • Mad Scientist

        Too cold.

      • Rhywun

        Not at all.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        The house on the backside of Mt. Rushmore.

      • KSuellington

        Hell yes, gotta see NBNW again, that house was insane (even if it wasn’t exactly behind Mt Rushmore).

    • Tulip

      North Dakota. 40 below keeps the riff raff out.

      • straffinrun

        Too hot.

      • Mad Scientist

        WAY too cold.

      • Rhywun

        Maybe.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Idaho

  74. Tulip

    Sally, of Sally’s Baking Addiction (https://sallysbakingaddiction.com) has a baking show on Prime called Sprinkles. I will binge watch it

  75. KSuellington

    At least the apocalypse still has takeout, thank god, I don’t feel like cooking at all tonite.

  76. straffinrun

    Who the hell creates a bio weapon that doesn’t solely attack fat, ugly people?

    • Jarflax

      To hell with that; I’d create one that wiped out young attractive males to shift my place on the curve!

      • straffinrun

        Yeah, yeah, that’s what I meant! Get rid of the men. Of course.

    • Tulip

      Why do you hate me?

      • straffinrun

        As long as you aren’t short or a Gemini, we’re fine. *Rolls dice*

      • Tulip

        I’m both, *sobs*

      • straffinrun

        Fucking hell. Really? ??‍♂️

      • Tulip

        Yes. *cries*

      • straffinrun

        Not gonna work on me. I cry in public everyday.

      • DenverJ

        I’m sure that Straf’s japanese wife is well over 6′.

      • Mad Scientist

        Right. Tulip, you have to keep in mind Straff’s context for short. You’d have to be a midget.

      • straffinrun

        There is a certain “short” this is just the right height. You can guess my gesture right now.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        You can guess my gesture right now.

        Yeah; up yours too, Buddy!!!

      • DenverJ

        I seem to remember an old joke about the perfect woman being 3′ tall, with a flat head and big ears… but I wouldn’t dream of bringing it up in mixed company.

    • Crusty Juggler

      No gyms, have to stay inside – we are all going be fat!

      • DenverJ

        You cof take a walk…

      • DenverJ

        Could. Jesus I guess my phone has a cold too.

      • TARDIS

        Throw your phone away! It has the Corona!

      • DenverJ

        I have open space with trails and hawks and eagles and coyotes and cute little plague bearing prairie dogs literally a stone’s throw from my balcony.
        You could also ride your bike through empty city streets, or just go throw things off the overpass.

      • DenverJ

        Threading. Stupid threading. Anywhoos I may actually have the Wuflu. I suspect that I caught the cold from my GF, who works at a music teaching studio which just switched to skyping lessons because one of the instructor’s roommates has been hospitalized with Wuflu.

      • straffinrun

        Everybody thinks they’ve had/ has it.

      • DenverJ

        Well, they might. And that’d be a good thing. Everybody is eventually going to come into contact with it, and then we can all sheepishly realize what a bunch of… sheep we’ve been, and get back to normalcy. Only half the country is now bankrupt and all your favorite restaurants have gone under.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Fuck that, walk the dog, at the Park, Play 18 holes, at the Park, say Hi to all the locals, at the Park,
        Try the Park, it’s safe….

      • Crusty Juggler

        THE PARK IS FULL OF RAPISTS AND BEARS PLUS I DONT HAVE ACCESS TO A CLOSE GOOD PARK WHERE I FEEL SAFE

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well that sucks, maybe Move to AZ where it’s safer….

      • Crusty Juggler

        More like Arid Boner, am I right?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No, Pussy abounds if you want it….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We kill the Homeless, Rapists and Bears and throw them in the River for Havasu to clean up…..

      • DenverJ

        I have open space with trails and hawks and eagles and coyotes and cute little plague bearing prairie dogs literally a stone’s throw from my balcony.
        You could also ride your bike through empty city streets, or just go throw things off the overpass.

      • Crusty Juggler

        I don’t have a bike! I am too poor!

        Also not a gaymo gay boy!

      • DenverJ

        Dude, steal a bike during the coming riots.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We got that stuff, except our Rabies infected critters are Squirrels, and the streets are amazingly quiet here, something I’m not used to…..

      • DenverJ

        Yeah the traffic has been wonderful. Interesting fact: prairie dogs are, in fact, a species of ground squirell, and not canines at all.

      • DenverJ

        Wow, it posted both places in the threading. Definitely, the Wuflu has now mutated into a computer virus, too. We are all doomed. DOOMED

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Pretty cool eh?

      • DenverJ

        DOOOOMED!!!!

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Rush for you Stoners out there

      I was expecting this.

  77. Yusef drives a Kia

    I think I have the WuFlu, Because I’m really fucking bored,

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Me too. I was chronically bored before all this, though.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No, that was Mono,
        /Wayne

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        ??????

  78. Crusty Juggler

    Name your favorite euphemism for passing gas.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Shootin’ Indians

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Anal spew

    • Q Continuum

      Crop dusting.

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Trouser cough.

      Or, Trowserkov, if you want it to be Slavicly exotic.

      • dbleagle

        California Barking Spider

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Being Lone Star, I’ve not heard ‘California’ applied to it, prior to your posting it here.

        I’m not unamused.

    • straffinrun

      For you? Blowing Cum bubbles.

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      “Bombing the britches”, if you want a WW II flair.

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Barking spiders?

      Ghost from the wishing well? (for you Gordon Lightfoot fans)

      Below-the-belt belch?

      Blue-flame Brantley? (such a great story)

      Nature’s comedy show?

      • Crusty Juggler

        “Ghost from the wishing well? (for you Gordon Lightfoot fans)”

        We appreciate it.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Yes, we do.

        “What a tale my farts could tell”

        Should we ever meet– when chow time comes around, I’ll bring you an extra Hot Pocket, and regale you with my embarrassing Lightfoot crooning story.

      • Crusty Juggler

        “Should we ever meet– when chow time comes around, I’ll bring you an extra Hot Pocket”

        Oh my God he wants to behead me and rape my still pulsating neck!

        Help!

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Well, with all those fluids, why wou–

        I mean, eww, you sicko!

    • Tejicano

      “(name of person sitting closest to me)?, Really!!?!!”

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        This is, of course, the ‘correct’ answer.

      • DenverJ

        Yup

  79. Crusty Juggler

    I actually worked today – doing manual labor like the peons I employ!!!!!!!!!!! – and let me tell you my wrist and forearm strength is garbage.

    I am half the man I used to be.

    • Jarflax

      my wrist and forearm strength is garbage.

      Masturbate more.

      • Crusty Juggler

        #Neverfap 4 eva!

      • Jarflax

        #ohnoonan

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Disc, Golf is your friend, and it’s fun

      • Crusty Juggler

        I am sure but also I have no idea where to start. We don’t have fun times like that here.

        We hike. We are hikers.

  80. DenverJ

    Man, two weeks ago I started a side job to install a ceiling fan. No electricity, I’d have to run it. “No problem”, I said to myself, and I stupidly listened to myself.
    Figured I drill a hole into the crawlspace, then another by the wall, fish some wire and viola! But, there was no crawlspace, just the ceiling, then the joists at 12″ intervals, then the roof.
    It took me hours of working over my head to run the wires. My shoulders and arms are just now recovering, two weeks later.

    • DenverJ

      Sigh. Threading.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Yeah, actually working sucks.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        HAHA!

      • Crusty Juggler

        THE WORST THING COVID19 HAS DONE IS FORCE ME TO GET OUT OF THE OFFICE AND GET DIRTY!

        I AM IMPORTANT!

  81. straffinrun

    Cherry Blossom festivals are gonna suck this year.

  82. KSuellington

    So I had the help today of a Samoan buddy who is really good with electronics and we set up a little gate system. We were talking about the THD and it looks like at the same time in early January both of our families had respiratory flu that was severe with fever and body aches. He said it took three weeks to get back to normal, I was about ten days or so and my wife almost two weeks. I know I’ve mentioned it here already, but I am pretty sure that this thing has been in SF for a couple months now’ which is only logical. Anything that is contagious in China would be here in a week or two. It was one of the worst respiratory illnesses I have ever had, I imagine if I was elderly it would have been fucked up¡ the kids were all good in a few days,

    • straffinrun

      That’d be good news for you.

      • KSuellington

        He still has shortness of breath. But then again he is pushing 350 and doing physical labor.

    • Plinker762

      I don’t think THD is going to stick. It appears he has a mild case and won’t be our beloved celebrity to die from the disease created by the Two Scoop bio-weapons lab.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I like THD, serves them all right…

      • KSuellington

        THD is funny for this site, I think HM was the inventor of that. I am particular to Wuhan Lung AIDS. I saw a clip recently of Oprah Winfrey predicting that a large percentage of Americans would be HIV + by the early 1990’s so that kind of hysteria seems appropriate for this thing.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I just introduced it, like a China-man at Washington State.

        Norm Macdonald coined the term.

      • KSuellington

        Tom Hanks does deserve some blame.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Same thing went through my Daughters Company in November, they shut down for a week, now people are thinking CV blew through the area late last year, and that’s why we are inoculated,

      • KSuellington

        Contagious viruses move quickly, especially in our interconnected world. I haven’t heard a good explanation as to why it would take months to go from Wuhan to the US. Much more likely that it has been here the whole time.

      • straffinrun

        Let me be naive. Why wouldn’t health officials or even a private citizen have be able to prove that? Serious question.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Private, how?
        GOV, why spread panic? /oh, nevermind….

      • straffinrun

        The spread wouldn’t make sense statistically for their models if it had already come through.

      • KSuellington

        No test for it. Still no test anywhere in the world as far as I know for antibodies. My sister in law regularly frequents the doctor for any and all reasons. When her son got it she had him tested for flu and strep and neither showed positive.

      • straffinrun

        I’m not saying it’s impossible. It’d be interesting to see if the infection rates jive with the official line. They are saying it has popped up in various places without anyone having been to a hotspot. Could be they couldn’t backtrack it or it was already there. Beyond my math skills to do an analysis of the numbers.

      • KSuellington

        I would bet heavy yuan that it was already there, just undiagnosed.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I read an article on Medium that provided data from the Pac NW of a spike in “Flu-like” illnesses back in Nov-Dec of 2019 going through the hospitals.

        I agree that it is highly likely that it was here for a while.

      • KSuellington

        To get an idea of my neighborhood, we have characters like this rolling through trying to sell you turtles they just found in the middle of a virus scare.

        https://imgur.com/a/UqLbQPh

      • Gustave Lytton

        While there isn’t an serology test for sars-cov-2, there is still analysis available including modeling of mutations based on it and other coronaviruses. Based on that, the origin/crossover to humans was earliest in mid November.

        https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.03.05.976167v1.full.pdf (this is a preprint so YMMV)

        It has a higher R0 than flu but not like measles so it still takes time to spread. Also, can take samples of current strains and use phylogenetic analysis to show the relationship between them. Not saying it isn’t possible particularly for onesie/twosie, but if it had been widespread before, it should show up now in samples and show more divergence from known origins.

        https://nextstrain.org/ncov

      • Chafed

        You would need a serology test. The US doesn’t have one yet.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Jeez, us Pot smokers sharing bowls can’t help….

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Wherever 2 or more of us are gathered….

      pleaseohplease let this happen.

  83. Crusty Juggler

    Viewing Alone

    Why, as a libertarian, would I care about what you do?

    Since I was 12, I have been going to the movies alone.

    I’m listening…

  84. Not Another Naked Digby

    Get ready for Phase 5!

    Marvel comics became hardcore porn so gradually, I hardly noticed.

    • DenverJ

      “Look, I’m sure everyone at Marvel has the best of intentions but by god read the room on naming two black [nonbinary] characters Snowflake and Safespace.”

      Yeah, pretty much this.

      • Rhywun

        I’m not getting what them being black has to do with anything.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Revealing the power of institutional racism?

      • Rhywun

        All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        I plan on shunning the frumious bandersnatch.

        /I won prose recital awards 3 years in a row in jhs with Jabberwocky

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.

        Like reading Playboy for the articles (which I totally did) I savor the moments of true literary elegance at the Glibs.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Really?!? You don’t get how representation lifts everyone….and…optics….institutional….

        It’s–well, it’s obvious! Black Power. Taking on The Man….

    • Chafed

      This has to be a joke. The writer is keeping a straight face but he knows what he’s doing.

      • Rhywun

        That was my thought too.

      • Chafed

        ??

  85. Plinker762

    Interesting post.

    Malaria and THD

    • Chafed

      JFC I hope that’s right.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        BTW-Sorry for the lateness on my reply, Chafed.

      • Chafed

        No apology needed.

    • DenverJ

      That seems like decidedly good news

  86. Crusty Juggler

    CoronaCovidNoFoodorTP worsens, and we are all doomed.

    You have one week to live free and easy.

    What do you do?

    • Crusty Juggler

      Punch a bee’s nest.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Drive 200

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Get drunk and Golf, eat well,walk my pooch, smoke fine weed, the usual,

    • Crusty Juggler

      Invent a rocket that drops wiener-shaped flyers on everyone saying “the world isn’t ending.”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Do they have Mustard? Onions? if not the GTFO,
        /unless Chili Cheese

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        flying Chili dogs, mmmmm

      • Not Another Naked Digby
    • Crusty Juggler

      While cleaning a Spaniard’s foreskin, I will place some hornets underneath and tape it shut.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Good God Man! at least use one of (((Them))

    • Enough About Palin

      Thank G-d we won’t have to live through the horror that is global warming.

    • Rhywun

      *hic*

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      What do you do?

      On The Beach scenario?

      Try to gather as much of my family together. After that, who knows? Gunpowder and alcohol? Fireworks?

      By the way, if you can avoid it, do not read On The Beach. It might be the most depressing prose that I’ve ever encountered.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Sub question: Do you go out drunk/high or straight?

      • Rhywun

        On the Beach has been one of my favorite books since I was little. I don’t want to live it.

  87. Yusef drives a Kia

    Miss my Wendy, smoke too many Cigarettes,

    • Rhywun

      I thought you were vaping. ?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        OK, you have booze to go…but, you better eat something first!!

        Also: “Liquor Authority”. Heh.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I want my self serve gas here dammit. It’s a safety issue now.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Boy, you are just lining up for the Fight for 15 crowd to hit the gas jockeys, aren’t ya?

        Why do you hate the make-ready jobs crowd, Gustave?

      • Gustave Lytton

        When the depression hits, the dig ditches and fill them in gangs can pause in between to throw the bodies in.

      • KSuellington

        Self service of gas?! Are you crazy man! That can’t happen ever.

      • Chafed

        They loosen the rules while making it difficult to comply.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Like clothing, rules are best when they’re tight. For others. Who happen to be hotties.

        Sorry–where was I going with that…? Oh, right–rules are no damned good, if they can’t be enforced. No teeth = “gummers”. Crusty knows what I’m talking about.

        High Five!

      • Rhywun

        I don’t understand any of that. I just want to buy booze from the booze store. I don’t eat out.

      • Chafed

        Sorry son. You’re living in Cuomo’s NY.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Isn’t booze delivery a rather normal thing in NYC (and, for some time)?

      • Rhywun

        I have no idea. I’m not a shut-in and there are a half-dozen liquor stores within a ten-minute walk.

      • Chafed

        Per the article, would you like fries with that?

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      It’s not the only thing he needs…

      A full-on body slam/BJJ take-down of his buffoon ass would probably be very satisfying to see. Hell, watching Seagal Aikido him would probably suffice.

      • Chafed

        Seagal in his prime was fun to watch.

    • Rhywun

      Yes, there is the occasional asshole making international news for some reason by, you know, being an asshole, but there’s no there there; and I’m getting pretty fucking sick and tired of the media pushing this shit.

      • The Hyperbole

        Never ever read a Twitchy post.

      • KSuellington

        The emperor is most definitely fat and nude.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Go on…

  88. The Bearded Hobbit

    Mentioned in an earlier thread but just bought this

    Gotta keep the economy going

      • Chafed

        I’m looking for a CA compliant P226 and can’t find one anywhere.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Not even CCDN? Have you found any CA Sigs? If so, are they ‘off the table’ for you for any particular reason? The 229 is really just a shorter barrel version of the 226, if that’s available.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Sorry–CDNN

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’ve bought from Buds before. But it’s been a couple years and I seem to remember some vitriol on the gun boards over something they pulled in the past.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Huh….Well, good to know. Maybe their pricing…

        ::puts on sunglasses::

        Comes at a cost.

        YYYYYEEEEEA-wait, are we still doing that? Is it just me?

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Tsk tsk tsk: He didn’t say ‘please’.

    • Rhywun

      The Wire, with bonus bug-out coordinates.

  89. KSuellington

    This is a nice little new green deal preview we have going. The real thing would have much less energy powering it.

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      My fear is that plenty of power-grabbers agree, and see only good things when applying it to a NGD scenario.

      • KSuellington

        This is a dream scenario for a power grab and it will definitely happen. The real question is, will it last along to make a fair bit of it permanent? I’m hoping it backfires on them. Right now all the incentives are for precautionary principle, it has run amok. But there is a cost, and it will come due. Let’s hope it turns sooner than later.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Well, everyone needs to keep their powder dry, their stick on the ice, and, get ready to rumble.

  90. Yusef drives a Kia

    No one has a job, where is everyone?

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Well, I has job, but, I’m just catching up on my online readin’.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You’re supposed to augment, my Reality with Clever witticisms,
        C’mon man,

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Heheheh….”clever”. You appear to have comedy chops, too!

        I will say, too bad I’m not anywhere near you; I’d be hitting you up for gee-tar lessons.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        40 years, I better knowwhatI’m doing,
        and I play a mean Guitar……
        /YARG!

      • straffinrun

        I’m going to job deux in an hour. Feels like I got a poltergeist in my zeitgeist. Life is normal here for the most part, then I go online at its mayhem.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Well, that’s what you get for being a Glibs member. That’ll learn ya.

        /Polt-zeist. I like it.

      • straffinrun

        I’ve changed my mind recently. I thought this whole thing would last into summer. Now I’m thinking something will happen and this thing will stop rather suddenly within a couple weeks. That “something” may be a cure/treatment breakthrough, it may mutate, aliens. Whatever it is, I got a feeling it’s going to end soon. Gut feeling. Whatever that’s worth, it’s my prediction.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I think people will get bored and forget about it, 2 weeks tops,

      • straffinrun

        Amnesia is known cure for Munchausen’s.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Just don’t forget that a lot of businesses and institutions are changing how they do things, planning on this being ‘the long haul’. I have a feeling a lot of these situations won’t be so easily reversible, and may be problematic for whole swaths of people.

        It takes a long time to get the Titanic turned around. Even more so to turn it again. Hope I’m wrong about all of this–it can be done relatively quickly, if/when people have the desire.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I believe we are well and truly fucked for a while, no matter what, this is a mess,

      • straffinrun

        Sure, the effects will last a long time thanks to gubmint doing shit it has no business doing. A weird side effect will be people who actually miss the virus. There will be this giant hole left in there psyches. PTSD type stuff. Life will seem mundane.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        If it ain’t a mess, it’ll do ’til the mess gets here.

  91. Yusef drives a Kia

    Come to Bullhead for the weather, stay for the Rain, WTF?

  92. Festus

    I can’t believe that this https://youtu.be/68LAbJtd4uk has not been posted here yet. Much disappoint, very sorrow.

  93. The Hyperbole

    Early morning realization- I’ve always felt something was off with the “There are only X number of cases/deaths, so these measures are stupid” argument that’s ever present lately. It’s not outrage at the apparent callousness or a bleeding heart “if it saves one life” concern but something else just didn’t seem right about it. I finally figured out that it’s the tacit admission that these measures would be okay if X was a big enough number. I would think most of us libertarians (well me and you liberty-minded republicans) would think that forcibly closing businesses and curfews and such wouldn’t ever be justified. If the “X” got big enough, if the threat was great enough that we might concede that they were, people would be doing it anyway, businesses wouldn’t open because patron and workers wouldn’t risk going out. People would stay indoors and wash their hands all day long if the threat was big enough, sure you’d have a handful of idiots that would try and ‘not let the virus win’ but they’d most likely die off pretty quick. As with most things government does, it’s intervention, if justified, would be trailing behind what people are already doing. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.

    • Festus

      The Government is curtailing Freedom of Assembly “For our own good”. How can you not give this panicky nonsense a bit of the old side-eye?

    • UnCivilServant

      Cowering in your home is inappropriate for the current value of X.

      The government commanding you to cower in your home is inappropriate for any value of X

      How is this not clear and consistant?

      • The Hyperbole

        I guess it’s not clear because most people don’t state it that way. They usually say – the government shouldn’t do this because the value is only X. If they put it your way I wouldn’t have an issue with it.

    • AlmightyJB

      Well said. Provide information and let free people decide. I’m actually pretty risk averse but hey if someone wants to do a bungie jump set up by a weekend carnie have at it! If your at risk or live with someone at risk of dying from a respiratory illness, then stay away from crowds right now, if not orgy away!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Most people don’t understand the ins and outs of virology and disease transmission and the government experts and the experts that have the government’s ear do. I don’t like the restrictions either but you go into a crisis with the system you have and people have largely been conditioned to look for governmental guidance on things like this. Hopefully that’ll change one day but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

  94. Festus

    Update on Daughter #3’s self-quarantine – she’s happy as a pig in shit because she gets to work from home for the next while and she’s the only one of her family that is not ill. She’s not my blood but Goddamn that girl may as well be. She told her Mom when she got married that she’d have preferred me to walk her down the aisle but didn’t want to hurt her Dad. Not so great for her hubby who is a contractor and the kids that are climbing the walls. Luckily, Hubby dotes on those kids above all else. He is a great Father.

    • Festus

      Wouldn’t be too shocked with a December surprise come to think of it.

      • AlmightyJB

        Lol. I was just thinking that last night. Who’s going to name their baby Corona in December.

      • Festus

        Well, seeing as that he and I both drink the local swill it would probably be “Cariboo”! j/k They named their children Lucas and Sienna so every time that I get to visit it’s finger vee swords at “Look” and pointing back at my eyes with the same digits at the girl, “See!” Grandpa joke but it never gets old, at least for me. Can’t believe Katie never cottoned to that when she was naming her spawn…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They like the authoritarian undercurrent of the various measures so this is no surprise and I’m sure they’ll be back to criticizing him for calling it the Chinese virus in no time.

  95. Gender Traitor

    We learned late yesterday afternoon that one of the other local financial institutions is closing its lobbies today except by appointment.

    I’m getting a little tired of waiting for shoes to drop.

      • Gender Traitor

        Another one of my well-stocked arsenals…

      • Festus

        For a straight, white middle aged male, I’ll cop to owning too many damn pairs of shoes. I’ve always been a believer in the right foot wear for the right circumstances but why do I even own half of them? Costco pricing probably. I’ve got five pairs of running shoes that I’ve never worn, cleats that haven’t seen the light of day for decades, bowling shoes, two pairs of golf shoes, at least three pairs of caulks, rubber boots, insulated rubber boots, hiking boots, hiking shoes, flip-flops, leather sandles, foam sandles, swimming shoes, fly fishing boots, ski boots and much more. One pair of dress shoes that I polish up for weddings and funerals. I’m sure there are more. Wifey likes to buy me stuff even when I don’t want it or need it…

      • UnCivilServant

        I have four pairs. One pair of dress shoes. One Pair of everyday sneakers. One pair of snow boots. One pair of mud boots.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        I probably do, too. A couple of pairs I’ve never worn, but, that’s a whole ‘nother story.

        I will probably acquire more in the future.

      • Festus

        Damn. I was forced to wear that style as dress shoes back in the 70’s. Went well with my brown corduroy suit. No bullshit.

    • Nephilium

      So far it looks like only another 300 or so phones to configure today.

      I think I may be past the hump of getting people configured for WFH. Now to start catching up on the backlog of tickets that have come in the past week.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yesterday, my boss asked me to make sure I could access our web-based timekeeping and payroll processing sites from home. Timekeeping side – no problem. (We’ve confirmed staff can’t clock in or out except from work ISP addys, but they can get on to put in time off requests.) I can apparently do my admin stuff there. On the dollars & cents site, I just have to change the e-mail address that receives the security code to log in.

      • UnCivilServant

        I wanted to fill in my timecard on time, but our timecard site isn’t working this morning.

      • Nephilium

        At least one group I support has an issue were they have two different systems that they need to access. These two systems are on different companies networks. Things can work in the office, but they can only be connected to one VPN while WFH. So…

        The worst were the people who were requesting new call flows and the like be built out for them to go live this week. Yeah… that’s not going to happen.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        How dare you not pull that out of your ass!!

      • Don Escaped Texas

        We don’t have VPN. All the new stuff, including my profiles, are on clouds. But the guy I support refuses to use anything but an old system that on an old server I can’t see from the house. Not getting bent out of shape by stupid shit at work is pretty much my brand, but I would recommend rethinking sending any kids to Vandy.

    • Ted S.

      Ditto here with my credit union.

      Because everybody touching the buttons of the ATMs is so much more sterile.

  96. Sean

    https://news.yahoo.com/woman-flew-u-china-coronavirus-054926417.html

    “A woman who flew last week from Massachusetts to Los Angeles — then to Beijing, where she tested positive for coronavirus — is under investigation on allegations of concealing her symptoms and putting fellow travelers at risk of infection.

    The woman took fever-reducing medication before boarding a plane and lied to flight attendants, according to Beijing’s disease control center and an Air China representative, who held a news conference on Monday.

    The woman, who was hospitalized and is receiving treatment, is under investigation for the crime of “impeding prevention of infectious diseases.” According to Chinese law, she could face up to three years of imprisonment or detention with possible forced labor, or up to seven years of prison if there are “serious consequences.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Of all the places to go to and get caught that one was a particularly dumb choice, all other ethics aside.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, no forced labor over here.

        Having personally known a Chinese woman who defected to the US during a ping pong tournament, and who had here 2nd pregnancy forcibly terminated, herself sterilized while still under, I wouldn’t trust my govt either.

  97. Scruffy Nerfherder

    *wake up*

    *checks news and email on phone*

    Awww crap, it’s still going on

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The Democratic primary

      • hayeksplosives

        Hasn’t that swung to Biden yet?

        Not that he knows that….

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Ooooh–the “Biden Swing”…

        /blech

  98. PieInTheSky

    I always miss the poll posts

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Poll posts > Pol Pot

  99. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Europe’s illness and death numbers are just about passing China’s now, which tells me that China’s numbers were always bullshit.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’ve been saying that all along.

  100. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Wife is already annoyed with the kids this morning. This is gonna be a long Spring.

    • PieInTheSky

      back in the day you could smack the lot of em

  101. Don Escaped Texas

    Bake that . . . . . . tee shirt ?

    (Legislator) Byrd hosted a “Senior Day on the Hill” for high school seniors in October 2018. A voice message was sent to families telling students to get shirts promoting Byrd and change before boarding school buses.

    • Festus

      But Greta Rallies are exempt, presumably. Stop using kids, Cuntes.

  102. Ted S.

    Media pushing “this government action isn’t enough” stories.

    Fuck them.

    • Festus

      Fucking is too pleasurable. Wood-chippers, feet first.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        They need to be reminded, in the most forceful ways possible, that no one is stopping them from taking their own lives measures.

        Their croc tears over others being sick is not gonna work.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Is/are…not

      • Festus

        Day#5 of the sanitation station. Sadly, still just a potato.