Saturday Morning Cheap Day Return Links

by | Mar 7, 2020 | Daily Links | 314 comments

To celebrate his last weekend here, I took our Dutch visitor to see a slice of Real America, specifically “The Boneyard,” aka  309th AMARG at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base. This is right next to the geek-boner-inducing Pima Air and Space Museum in Tucson. Yeah, a ton of wasted tax money, but holy shit, this was absolutely fascinating, so at least there was some entertainment value. And they do the tour very, very well. He’ll go back to the EU and say, “They scrap better shit than we fly. Do not fuck with those people.”

Birthdays today include a guy who was sorta square; the original Ronald McDonald; the original Mimi; a pretty decent running back (he said begrudgingly); a guy who was a dirty dentist and a fine synthetic chemist; and a woman who would be on my Celebrity Waiver List if there were such a thing (looks around nervously for rusty tin can lids).

 

Oh yeah, news.

 

Send in the troops! Oh wait, Obama isn’t president any more.

 

It’s bullies all the way down. The lack of self-awareness is Hillary’s most consistent feature.

 

Solution: let’s give idiot bureaucrats more arbitrary power.

 

Leave the antisemitism for the candidate, he does it better than you do.

 

If this was already linked, feel free to tell me that drugs fell out of my ass. Epic trolling.

 

I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at this. “She was too brilliant and competent for you yokels” is a proven winning strategy.

 

One of the best things about living in Arizona is not having to deal with this shit.

 

Old Guy Music is easy today- nothing gets the weekend started better than some high energy Diz.

 

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

314 Comments

  1. Shpip

    A blind man has been denied US citizenship after immigration agents refused to provide him with an English language sentence to read in Braille.

    I fail to see the problem with this.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Snellen chart agrees.

    • Charles Easterly

      “I fail to see the problem with this.”

      I, however, perceived what it was that you did.

      • Plisade

        Eye did too.

      • Mojeaux

        Visionary, really.

      • Plisade

        Yes, light years beyond my own myopic powers of observation.

    • Grumbletarian

      What you did there was seen, just not by Lucio Delgado.

      Also:

      He was told during the test to go and get a doctor’s note to prove that he was blind, but he could not afford to do so because he does not have health insurance.

      Bullshit meter pegged.

      • Florida Man

        I thought you had to show you can stand on your own financially before getting admitted. *shrug* I guess just stamp his citizenship card and show him to the disability welfare line.

      • Grumbletarian

        What was bullshit to me was the ‘can’t afford it’ part. Go into a hospital with a “I need to prove to ICE that I’m blind so I can get my citizenship questions in Braille” story and someone will be able to shine a light in you eyes, notice no reaction, and scribble up a note saying you’re blind without asking for your health insurance card.

      • Florida Man

        My issue is I’ve look into immigration to other countries and this list of requirements often includes in addition to many fees and hoops, a substantial amount of capital. However the US is the devil for not admitting other countries dependents. I guess I’m a little salty because I’m working overtime today so I can pay more taxes so illegal immigrants can get Universal healthcare.

      • Lackadaisical

        why are you so racist?

      • Ted S.

        Because fuck you, that’s why?

      • Florida Man

        Ted nails it in one.

      • MikeS

        “Over here I was going to get the education I couldn’t get in Mexico,” he told CBS News from his home on a farm in Pembroke Township, Illinois – about 70 miles (110km) south of Chicago.

        You (we) are also presumably paying for his education.

      • Old Man With Candy

        You’re assuming much. There’s a LOT of agro worker immigrants in that part of IL, and the fact that he’s on a farm suggests that his family might be among them. Not many welfare leeches on farms.

        That said, if he’s a welfare leech, I’d have no issue with kicking him off and letting him figure out how to get by. The story is, as usual, unclear on points like that.

      • MikeS

        Yep. I was making a huge assumption. And maybe not a fair one.

        I live in an area that has a large (percentage-wise) population of Mexicans who either are, or are descendants of, migrant farm workers. Many of them are the hardest workers you’ll find.

        And many of them are welfare leeches…just like the white people I know.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, if you can’t afford the $50 to go to an urgent care and get a doctor’s note, then there would not seem to be any way at all you aren’t a “public charge” and thus ineligible for reasons having nothing to do with not filling out a braille form.

      • C. Anacreon

        He apparently had money for a lawyer somehow though.

  2. Festus

    I wish everyone would get the woo hoo virus and just die already! So bored!

    • Ted S.

      I nominate Festus for the virus!

      • Festus

        If nominated I will not run and if elected I will not serve.

      • Ted S.

        If nominated I will not run and if elected infected I will not serve.

        Fixed it for you.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Careful man, that’s bad juju.

    • AlmightyJB

      It was nice knowing all of you. I hope your deaths are painless.

      • Florida Man

        Suicide is painless.

      • AlmightyJB

        Cool. I’m not sure I ever heard that song with lyrics before or knew it’s title. If I had, I have forgotten.

      • Florida Man

        I was surprised it had lyrics, because I only knew the time from mash.

      • Tejicano

        I suppose you forgot, or never even knew, the M*A*S*H was a movie first.

      • Rhywun

        We used to sing it in music class.

      • Gender Traitor

        Was your music teacher chronically depressed?

      • AlmightyJB

        That I did know. I saw it at some point a long time ago.

      • AlmightyJB

        We sang Barry Manilow songs. Probably more depressing.

      • Rhywun

        Was your music teacher chronically depressed?

        Probably a former hippie like all my teachers.

        No, it was the 70s. We also sang the All in the Family tune.

      • AlmightyJB

        She was in love with the dude. I loved her anyways. Tiny little woman. Couldn’t have been any sweeter.

      • Charles Easterly

        “Suicide is painless.”

        +1

      • Fourscore

        Chugs anti-freeze. Oh, oh.

    • MikeS

      Woo-hoo virus is racist. I prefer Kung Flu

      (props to whomever came up with this one. RC Dean, maybe?)

      • Tejicano

        I’ve been using “Pooh flu”

      • R C Dean

        Nah. I heard it somewhere else.

        “Pooh Flu” requires that you know the inside joke about the Chinese dictator and the web surveillance workarounds by Chinese dissidents. A little too inside-baseball for me. “Kung Flu” is just a straight-up play off a stereotype.

  3. Trigger Hippie

    ‘The 2011 Arab Spring began in Tunisia and the country’s transition to democracy has been marred by violence.’

    Make Carthage Great Again!

    That’s all I’ve got. The sun has risen and I’m just now getting to bed. It was a good evening. And believe it or not, no speed was involved.

    Have fun, kiddos!

    • Lackadaisical

      night th.

  4. Tejicano

    Once upon a time I lived in the Tucson area for about 6 years. About a year of that was right outside the gate to Davis-Monthan AF base. Until you’ve driven by that airframe graveyard it’s hard to get a feeling for how big it is. I have no idea how many hundreds of aircraft they have stored there.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Visited Pima Air Museum back in the 90s as a yoot and it was a blast.

      Frankly…not sure about the cost benefit analysis for getting most of those airframes back in the sky (outside of a world-ending ID4 type scenario), but they’re potentially a good source of parts on the side.

      As an aside, acting SECNAV Modly has been doing a pretty good job, along with his weekly ALNAV Vectors messages (ie. https://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/reference/messages/Documents/ALNAVS/ALN2020/ALN20023.txt).

      With respect to the audit, this is our third year of conducting a full
      financial statement audit of the DON. Prior to 2018, this had never been
      done before in the history of our organization. We continue to make progress
      and have established a number of priorities for Fiscal Year 2020, which are
      outlined in our Business Operations Plan (www.navy.mil/donbop). One critical
      initiative, the Navy Material Accountability Campaign, is already having a
      significant impact on fleet readiness and improved accountability of our
      equipment and operating material. Clean-up efforts beginning in 2019 have
      identified $2.9 billion in material that had not been visible across the Navy
      enterprise. Much of this material was managed locally, but the lack of
      global visibility prevented us from being able to utilize available inventory
      in one location to satisfy requirements elsewhere or process for disposal as
      necessary. To date, this material has filled over 12,000 fleet requisitions
      valued at nearly $50 million.

      There are many examples of local installation efforts on this campaign, but I
      would like to highlight a few to demonstrate my earlier point about how the
      audit is having an immediate impact on our organizational effectiveness and
      how that has directly translated into better operational readiness. During
      the audit, Naval Air Station Jacksonville identified $280 million of material
      for use or disposal, of which $81 million filled 174 requisitions, enhancing
      aviation readiness and supporting strike fighter recovery. Additionally, the
      Naval Sea Logistics Center and Naval Surface Warfare Center Philadelphia
      identified more than 10,500 line items of material. They filled nearly 2,000
      high priority requisitions for our ships and submarines at a cost avoidance
      to the fleet of over $2 million.

      Wish they had been doing this while I was afloat – the wait time for some critical parts was literally months or years – and I’m willing to bet that at least some of them were just chilling un-inventoried in a warehouse somewhere.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Frankly…not sure about the cost benefit analysis for getting most of those airframes back in the sky (outside of a world-ending ID4 type scenario), but they’re potentially a good source of parts on the side.

        They should probably find another solution. There are multiple levels of storage and even bringing back the highest levels is not only cost prohibitive but would take longer than any war is likely to last. Not to mention…who ya gonna get to fly em?

        IMHO, AMARG was a good idea back when planes were simple and pilots weren’t extensively trained. The only reason it still exists is because “that’s what we’ve always done.” Probably save a ton of money simply junking them instead of preserving them.

    • Fourscore

      All the old airplane guys are looking at the “Boneyard” and hoping to get something they can restore in a garage project.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Include me in that if I had the smarts/space/budget.

    • R C Dean

      First time I drove out of Tucson to head back to Texas I went down the road that curs right through the Boneyard. Had no idea it wa there until I was in it. Damn near drove off the road. Take a look at it on Google Earth or whatever satellite surveillance app you use. It really is hard to grasp from ground level.

    • JD is Unemployed

      Outside the tabloid perception of it all being a great big graveyard of “abandoned” planes, many of those airframes are stored temporarily, even if they look “abandoned”. They’re stripped and sealed up for an extended stay, and are recommisioned at a later date by AMARG. In addition to that, it’s continually a valuable source of parts for maintaning currently active airframes.

      I watched a reasonably documentary on it, in addition to having seen it visited upon in other documentaries and done some reading. It’s fascinating to me, but what do I know? I’m just a limey who’s taxes aren’t paying for any of it.

  5. Gender Traitor

    Prepon is a Scientologist.

    So disappoint.

    • Festus

      #metoo She reminds me of my best friend from high school.

      • Fourscore

        You sure went to a different high school than I did. My hottest girl friend screen tested for the role of the Talking Horse TV show but couldn’t make the cut.

      • Festus

        My schoolmates were mostly hardy German stock. Not like horses, more like oxen.

      • Lackadaisical

        was she a fine girl?

      • Ted S.

        Festus’ life, his love, and his lady was the sea?

      • Tres Cool

        Add in a bit of girl-next-door flavor, and she was young Tres’s neighbor.

        And also his “first”.

      • Gender Traitor

        That skinny??

      • Tres Cool

        I was young then. Didnt know better.

      • Tres Cool

        It also helped that she was notorious for having a certain ‘moral laxness’. A quality I can appreciate to this very day.

    • AlmightyJB

      At least she’s not an Episcopalian.

    • Florida Man

      You think that’s bad. I saw an interview where she proclaimed her obsession with “as seen on tv” products.

    • Ted S.

      Pardon me, do you have any Grey Prepon?

  6. Festus

    Much as I know I should, Festus doesn’t dig on hot jazz.

  7. Grummun

    DST is bullshit. It’s practically the entire year at this point, just make that the standard time.

    • Festus

      We already voted to stop the nonsense but they won’t go ahead with it until America does. Takes an act of congress, apparently.

      • leon

        My understanding is that Congress has to allow the states to choose the option to stay on daylight time (which is what everyone wants). States can opt out of daylight savings and stay on standard, but not opt to stay on daylight.

        It’s dumb shit. Picking your timezones seems out of Fed gov purview.

      • Ted S.

        From Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution:

        The Congress shall have power […]

        To coin money, regulate the value thereof, and of foreign coin, and fix the standard of weights and measures;

        Sorry, but I think time is clearly a measurement, so standardized time zones is in Congress’ purview.

      • leon

        That’s why they have been setting the timezones since 1790.

      • leon

        So much in there about timezones

      • Ted S.

        I assume you think the 1A doesn’t extend to the internet since since the internet didn’t exist in 1790.

        Ditto the 2A and machine guns.

      • leon

        And I guess anytime someone uses SI units rather than imperial, you think they are breaking the law. Congress can create timezones, it’s taking away the power to choose which one that the states choose to belong to that I object to.

      • Ted S.

        Considering that American measurements are legally defined by their comparison to metric, no. (And use of metric has been officially legal since 1866.)

        And this is what I meant by the “libertarian purity test”, the attitude of “I don’t like DST”, so anything else FedGov does with timekeeping is automatically suspect and evil.

      • leon

        You can call me a purist, I really don’t give a damn. This whole thing started out when you started to “well akkkkkshully” me about standards and weights.

      • MikeS

        It’s about time, you two stop fighting.

      • Lackadaisical

        how do they enforce it?

        are they gonna come arrest us if we don’t switch our clock?

        also, states should just opt out.

      • leon

        I agree, Utah just passed a law to permanently stay on DST but it only takes effect after an act of Congress and if four other states decide to do so too.

        I hate the “we’ll do it if they do it” laws. It just means that it will be more surprising when it happens.

      • Florida Man

        I think florida passed it too, but waiting hat in hand on FedGov.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        ditto CA.

      • MikeS

        I believe Minnesoda has a bill to do it pending.

      • juris imprudent

        Railroads cross state-lines, railroads needed coordinated time.

      • leon

        And airplanes. I know. Seems like you colde do that without mandating that states can’t choose to stay on Daylight time, or even what timezone they belong to.

      • Shirley Knott

        Not true that staying on DST is what everyone wants.
        Some of us would much prefer dropping that shit entirely and sticking with “standard time.”
        But do think there are few if any who think the bi-annual switch must stop.

      • leon

        It’s a generalization

    • Ted S.

      Gotta enjoy the biannual libertarian purity test of “I hate DST more than the rest of you!” :-p

      • leon

        ^^^ Clearly a socialist.

      • Grummun

        You look like one o’ them dirty clock changers, Ted…

        DST didn’t bother me, having grown up with it, it was just normal. But the constant creep has pissed me off. When they dragged it all the way out to November just so the kiddies could trick or treat, that was the last straw.

      • Ted S.

        Frankly I’d be OK with year-round DST, and I say this as somebody who works the early shift. I’m sure you’ll all call me a dirty utilitarian, but I ask myself for the seven months or so of the year that we have 12 hours of daylight (plus dawn/dusk), is it better to have that daylight from 6AM to 6PM or 7AM or 7PM? In a 9-5 society, it’s probably better to have that daylight after dinner, and it’s easier to change when the daylight is to change from a 9-5 (or even 8-4) society.

      • Grummun

        Right there with you. Rather have the light late. It’s the change back to the ever-shrinking “standard” time that seems idiotic.

      • Pi Guy

        I’ve found that young software developers I work with are on a more like 10:30 – 7:00 schedule.

        How far do we slide it. Pick a time. Go.

        UTC FTW

      • juris imprudent

        I hate the transition, it’s too freakin’ soon to be “saving” daylight. I also hate that this is all done at the whims of lobbyists for various and sundry businesses (BBQ & convenience stores most prominently as I recall).

    • Grumbletarian

      I like DST. My driver’s license is daylight hours only because of my shitty eyesight (ocular albinism), so changing the clocks in the winter means I can maintain a regular work schedule. And tomorrow is Emancipation Day for me, because I can stay out longer without needing to keep track of when the sun sets. Democracy would fuck me in the ass on this one.

      • Lackadaisical

        “Democracy would fuck me in the ass on this one.”

        I’m okay with this if it means I don’t take it in the behind.

    • Plisade

      The whole world should just be on zulu time. No time zones. Easy.

  8. leon

    “I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at this. “She was too brilliant and competent for you yokels” is a proven winning strategy”

    It’s how Hillary won.

    • Festus

      That’s why she and Bill are making appearances in near empty auditoriums with canned golf claps.

  9. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “ The bravest thing someone can do in a democracy is put her name on the ballot, and Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Kamala Harris and Kirsten Gillibrand all showed incredible courage in seeking to have their names at the very top.”

    All the female candidates deserve our respect and admiration (except for that one bitch who has something against killing innocents overseas, she sucks).

    • AlmightyJB

      Which is worse, not voting for a woman candidate, or pretending a woman candidate doesn’t even exist.

      • Festus

        I dunno, ask the DNC.

      • Gender Traitor

        #NotARealWoman. In other words, she’s a me.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I would argue that running for federal office does not indicate bravery, but instead at least a touch of sociopathic tendencies.

    • R C Dean

      “The bravest thing someone can do in a democracy is put her name on the ballot”

      Smoke jumpers will just have make room at the front of the line, I guess.

    • juris imprudent

      Not a progressive? Then obviously not an authentic woman, black, etc.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yeah, the death rate among politicians is still 100%

    • JD is Unemployed

      Yikes, what a cunt.

  10. Count Potato

    “One of the best things about living in Arizona is not having to deal with this shit.”

    It’s just stupid.

    • AlmightyJB

      I hate DST. I’m not going to complain too much because if they do anything, it will be to make DST permanent which would suck even more. At least now I can sleep in in the winter.

      • Festus

        It’s going to severely crimp my morning comments. Rejoice! Rejoice! We have no choice!

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        (buuuut to carry on-n-n ?)

  11. leon

    Unfortunately I doubt Chuck owns guns himself, he just had bodyguards

    • Festus

      His withered nethers must have got quite a charge standing in front of that blood thirsty crowd. “It was never like this when I pledged Tri Delta… No donkey or Mexican whores. We can do this, Chuck!”

    • Florida Man

      There was an article linked here the other day about a woman that had her guns confiscated because her husband had a red flag. Do the same to chuck’s bodyguards.

    • LJW

      Until Coronavirus mutates into zombie coronavirus.

    • Florida Man

      *chuckle*

      I’ll come out of this even stronger than before. It’s just killing old Yankees that couldn’t take the cold anymore.

    • Sean

      Florida man just needs moar bath salts.

    • Lackadaisical

      they were both seventy.

      if this thing hits Florida we really will solve SS funding.

      • Florida Man

        It’s times like this I’m glad my parents live on a hobby farm in the middle of nowhere.

      • Lackadaisical

        I worry about my parents too, but I’m more worried about my son. . . sounds like this hasn’t really been hitting kids, which makes me feel really relieved.

    • Timeloose

      I agree with the sentiment that the CDC should be audited to determine why they can’t do their job.

      This should be job one for this agency. What else are they wasting their money and time on?

      Obesity, drug abuse, and verifying effectiveness of cold medicine in the era o global warming?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        No shit, they should have seen this coming and prepared accordingly. If YouTube talking heads and ZeroHedge nutcases could foresee this back in mid January there’s just no excuse.

      • Lackadaisical

        “ZeroHedge nutcases”
        (((they))) created corona virus?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I don’t know, is Bill Gates Jewish (yes, that’s a somewhat popular viewpoint over there for some reason)?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m trying to figure out what your average zero hedge commenter looks like, but I’m torn between inbred trailer trash redneck with an internet connection and basement dwelling Kevin Smith lookalike.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Theodore Kaczynski

    • Q Continuum

      How much got diverted for the border wall? Or the DoD?

      Unless it’s zero, I don’t want to hear any bitch from Pachyderms about it.

    • Gender Traitor

      It identifies as a bunny. You MUST respect that!!!

      • Grumbletarian

        Whoever tied those bunny ears on that lion has balls of titanium. Either that or the lion was sedated.

      • Tres Cool

        …just a big kitty

      • Gender Traitor

        Your link led me to today’s Recommended Daily Allowance of cute.

      • Florida Man

        Bunnies are one of the cutest animals ever, behind the wombat.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’ve had three pet bunnies. One had the run of the house, and every so often it would just spring straight up in the air for no apparent reason. We concluded it had just had the rabbit equivalent of existential shock – the sudden realization “Oh my God! I’m a rabbit!”

      • AlmightyJB

        Lol

  12. Festus

    Gah! Tapping out. Have fun you lovelies!

    • Gender Traitor

      Nighty night, Fes!

    • Count Potato

      GN 🙂

    • Lackadaisical

      well, you already primed me to see it. experiment fail, or success depending on what you’re testing.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Needs centrally located subsets for that.

    • leon

      If Ben wasn’t such a warmongering asshole he could just point out the DNC treatment of Tulsi Gabbard.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      See a horse with a hat on.

      • AlmightyJB

        Two frogs on a bench

    • MikeS

      Double-barrel shotgun.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’m going to withhold judgement because it sounds suspect but who knows?

      • Tres Cool

        That’s not even enough material for a decent joke.

      • AlmightyJB

        I’m guessing the cooks in that restaurant did worse to her food.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, I misread the article and it looks like the server has an independent corroborator. Maybe all the hoaxes have made me a bit too suspicious.

      • Rhywun

        The “boy who cried wolf racist” effect is real.

    • Q Continuum

      There are tons of shitty people out there; I’d rather the shitty ones out themselves like that. Still think it’s BS that the manager got canned over it though.

      • Rhywun

        There are tons of shitty people out there

        Yes.

        But I am sick and goddamn tired of every one of them making national headlines just to prove how horrible we are.

      • AlmightyJB

        He should have told them to leave, but that’s more of a training issue. I would have definitely been fired because in addition to kicking her party out, I’d have admonished that bitch. That’s assuming that it went down the way the article said.

      • AlmightyJB

        If she would have requested a different waitress without the racial references, and the girl just happened to be black then that’s a different story.

      • Florida Man

        That’s why all the hoaxes make me angry. If they really said “I don’t want a black server” then yeah kick them out, but all the times these things are faked for a scam or to stoke outrage makes it hard to know who to believe.

    • leon

      They heard him wrong. He asked for a Wight server

    • Sean

      I blame Evan.

    • R C Dean

      Maxwell Robbins, a customer who witnessed the incident, said it was so disturbing that he documented it in a Facebook post and submitted multiple complaints to Olive Garden by phone.

      Whatcha wanna bet that Olive Garden policy requires that any table that asks for a different server gets one? And they fired the manager for following policy?

      Sounds like the customer was a disruptive dirtbag, and could have been escorted off the premises for that alone. But expecting a 22 year old to manage a situation like that without a hitch seems a stretch.

      I guess OG probably didn’t have a choice. Thanks, social media!

  13. Q Continuum

    “He was told during the test to go and get a doctor’s note to prove that he was blind”

    Seems reasonable.

    “but he could not afford to do so because he does not have health insurance”

    …aaaaaand there it is. Clearly the solution is mEdIcArE fOr AlL!

    “A lawyer for Mr Delgado said the USCIS had contacted him since his story was first reported last week to offer him another appointment later this month.”

    So rather than mumbling to himself about stupid shitty bureaucrats and retaking the test, he decided to sue (I’m guessing). That alone proves he’s ready to be an American! Get this guy a passport!

    • Count Potato

      If he was blind how could he know that’s what the note read?

    • Florida Man

      He doesn’t have the ability to get a doctor’s note, but can find a lawyer…seems legit.

      • MikeS

        Plenty of us lawyers will work for purely altruistic reasons and not at all to gain more fame for ourselves.

        /Gloria Allred

  14. Count Potato

    “To keep me off the stage, the DNC again arbitrarily changed the debate qualifications. Previously they changed the qualifications in the OPPOSITE direction so Bloomberg could debate. I ask that you stand w/ me against the DNC’s transparent effort to exclude me from the debates.”

    https://twitter.com/TulsiGabbard/status/1236135134543220737

    • Gender Traitor

      You go, girl!

      • Florida Man

        I feel bad for her, but if you can’t crack 1 percent is the debate really going to matter? Democrats love war. Sorry Tulsi, you picked the wrong party.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m trying to figure which party she should have chosen.

        Greens, I guess.

      • Gender Traitor

        I just like the way she’s being a gadfly and pointing out they hypocrisy of the Dems. Tempted to ask for the Dem ballot on Ohio primary day just to cast a “FYTW” vote (assuming she hasn’t been forced out of the race by then.)

      • Aus

        I’m planning on requesting a Team Blue ballot in Ohio. Main reason is to vote for the OH-3 incumbant establishment congress critter. I despise her, but she is being challenge but a young radical bernie-antifa-like radical, soooo…. yeah.

        Will vote for Tulsi. But I did want to vote for Trump to +1 his trend of record breaking primary numbers.

    • PieInTheSky

      Meh. Based in what i read on her website she is still a leftist with no understanding of how things work

      • R C Dean

        Pretty much, yeah. I like a couple of her positions (didn’t fall for the Russia Hoax, non-interventionist) but the rest is a steaming pile of lefty soft-totalitarian bullshit. Remember – she supports the Green New Deal, gun control, and welfare for illegal immigrants. That’s three hard stops for me.

      • MikeS

        But…but…she’s HAWT!

      • R C Dean

        She’s DC-hot. Looking around just the VPs at my hospital, there are two or three as good, or better, looking. And that’s just the chicks, I’m not qualified to rank the dudes.

      • MikeS

        I agree. A good share of her “hotness” is due to the nearly complete lack of competition among her peers.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yeah. It’s a shame. She has some good instincts, I think. But on economics, she’s an idiot.

  15. Q Continuum

    “One of the best things about living in Arizona is not having to deal with this shit.”

    When I lived there it was glorious. CO legislature is currently debating a bill to stay on DST year-round; I would be ok with that since I don’t really give a shit what arbitrary system you use, just pick one and stay with it. No more fucking clock shifting. However, permanent DST would require approval by the FedGov so I’m not holding my breath.

    • Rhywun

      just pick one and stay with it

      But picking the wrong one means you hate Gaia.

    • R C Dean

      Read an interesting speculation that, anecdotally, there has been a really nasty “head cold” going around in some places this winter. Bad cold, then you feel better, then it comes back, then you feel better, etc. The speculation is that this is how COVID-19 shows up in healthy people with access to good health care, and COVID-19 actually escaped into the wild earlier than we think but nobody realized it because nobody was testing.

      As ever, we cannot seem to get a handle on this thing.

    • Tundra

      Great article, thanks!

      When doctors did learn enough to sound the alarm, their efforts were stymied as the crisis became enmeshed in politics, both at the local and national level.

      It now appears that, based on a speech by Mr. Xi published in a Communist Party magazine in February, he was leading the epidemic response when Wuhan went ahead with New Year celebrations despite the risk of wider infections. He was also leading the response when authorities let some five million people leave Wuhan without screening, and when they waited until Jan. 20 to announce the virus was spreading between humans.

      Pooh needs a beat-down.

    • Pi Guy

      I dont pay for much on the internet but do have a WSJ account.

      Real news and balanced opinions. I think it’s the best news source there is.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I can think of a few reasons. Most involve getting laid.

      • Q Continuum

        NB: According to his Wikipedia page, he moved away from Kali in 2018 because he was frustrated with their Commie bullshit. Completely understandable, but did he think for a second how that might contribute to his professional woes? That’s like wanting to be a professional deep sea diver and refusing to live on the coast. Kind of hard to be an actor when you won’t live where the jobs are.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m pretty sure his job opportunities dried up before that.

      • KSuellington

        Yeah, it said the blacklist started as soon as he spoke at the 2016 GOP convention.

  16. AlmightyJB

    Just put the bacon on:)

  17. Q Continuum

    I’m quite surprised that Grandpa Gulag’s betting odds actually went down a little after Warren dropped out. He’s down to 12% vs. Biden’s 85% (with Herself and Queen Zero taking the scraps). I agree that Biden is still the obvious front runner, but I would think that a prohibitive majority of Warren’s supporters would flock to Bernie and raise his odds at least a little. Maybe the bookies are taking into account DNC’s rigging?

    • leon

      I take it as a recognition they most of Warren’s supporters are former HRC fans who only care about “Vagina!”.

      • PieInTheSky

        My phone already recommended a dozen articles about how women are held back by sexism and i am not even american. I blame this site.

      • Q Continuum

        I care an awful lot about vagina, but probably not in the same way those people do.

    • AlmightyJB

      I’d have thought the same thing.Recent pooling I saw said it was actually about an even split.

    • MikeS

      hahahahaha!

    • PieInTheSky

      It is not though given there is not that much panic overall

    • leon


      Three Year Letterman
      @3YearLetterman
      ·
      18h
      Replying to
      @elonmusk
      Elon, no offense, but you aren’t allowed to comment on American issues when all you’ve done is being imported, glorified golf carts (Teslas) into this country. Panic isn’t even a real word. And this is coming from a youth football coaching legend, not some random clown”

      This is why social media is evil.

      • PieInTheSky

        How is light trolling evil?,

      • Aus

        Yeah I’m picking up some cheekiness in that reply, doesn’t read as being serious. The replies to Elon are generally of the goofy nature anyway.

      • leon

        I plead ignorance.

      • Q Continuum

        Can’t tell if satire…

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Welp, I occasionally trim my eyebrows back when they get unruly. Set the trimmer to 6. Unfortunately, my wife was talking to me when I was getting ready to do it, so I just removed half of my right eyebrow.

    Derp

    • PieInTheSky

      Well that will be an issue when you are picking up women in bars

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The spousal unit is not going to let me live it down for a while

      • PieInTheSky

        Hence my previous suggestion

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      The Worm…

    • R C Dean

      Been there, Scruffy. The good news: when you are a dude of the age where you need to trim your eyebrows, they grow back. Fast. Really fast. Which is why they need to be trimmed in the first place.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Shave them both off, and pencil them in. You’ll look fabulous.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *grabs sharpie*

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Outer or inner half?

      In either case: buy some waterproof* brow filler, or have her get it (not joking).

      *in case you sweat

    • Ted S.

      Hawt.

    • Ted S.

      Maybe that’s a sign you should go for the Leonid Brezhnev look?

  19. Gender Traitor

    Mr. GT just pointed out to me that in the coming week, we have a time change, a full moon, and Friday the 13th.

    I’ll be under my bed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Smarter than my dumbass cousins who burnt thru millions.

      • PieInTheSky

        Coke or hookers?

      • Gender Traitor

        Why not both?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        For one of them it was definitely both.

    • leon

      That’s really impressive. I think if I was in there same situation, that is have a hard time not splurging on a few things.

      • leon

        I’d have a hard time

      • R C Dean

        Hell, I’ve already got a list. The six figure items include the vacant lot next to the Casa Dean and an E63 AMG. If I’m in the eight-figure range, one of these.

  20. Tundra

    Good morning Old Man and a good morning to all you groovy cats and kittens!

    Nice collection if lynx you have there, but the boneyard one is definitely the coolest. Added to the bucket list – thanks!

    Fabulous musical selection. My mind, however, is in a different place.

    Eddie Hazel. Damn.

    Make it a trippy day people!

  21. Q Continuum

    What could possibly explain this?

    https://spectator.us/paris-increasingly-lawless-middle-classes/

    Glibness aside, I would think stories like these (and all across Europe) would cause people on both sides of the issue to at least take another look at their opinions regarding immigration. I get the argument that the welfare state and immigration are separate issues, but I also don’t believe that it’s a logical fallacy to say they are irresolvably dependent on one another. I also don’t think it’s a logical fallacy to say that there should be priorities to making liberty-friendly changes and I think there are many anti-liberty policies that do depend on the existence of the welfare state such that getting rid of it should be priority #1.

    TL;DR – I think it’s valid to say that having open borders and a welfare state simultaneously is suicidal policy for a nation-state (assuming one believes in the construct).

    • Drake

      Same reason I don’t really care that LA and San Francisco are in the same spiral.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The EU socialists are the modern equivalents of Nero.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Now zerohedge is really going to get rolling.

      • Drake

        (((They))) are spreading the virus at their own conference?

    • AlmightyJB

      Don’t get my hopes up.

    • MikeS

      Sounds like some 30-dimensional chess for Trump to finally be able to declare himself dictator.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maybe they can horsetrade the Republicans gun bans for terrorist watchlisters in exchange for this.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      George Bush, the gift that keeps on giving…

  22. MikeS

    I’m not too concerned about the Fung Flu, but it has made me more aware of my lack of preparedness for a SHTF situation. Can anyone recommend an informative (and relatively tinfoil free) site for prepper info?

    • AlmightyJB

      I’ll see if I can find some old links. Honestly, I’d you keep an extra couple weeks worth of supplies, you’ll be better off than must people. Potable water, non-perishable food, toiletries, etc. Lights, batteries, candles. Shortband radio. You can cook with your grill or get a small camp stove and extra propane. Some buckets or kiddie pool to collect rainwater you can use to flush your toilets or drink. Just think about how you would get by for a couple weeks without electricity, gas, city water. That’s an easy way to get started.

      • R C Dean

        Just think about how you would get by for a couple weeks without electricity, gas, city water.

        If our infrastructure collapses to that point, I think we will have a near-total societal collapse with nobody coming to the rescue. The death toll will likely be in tens millions (if not worse), and it will be indiscriminate and include people who have made these preparations. A living-envy-the-dead type of deal.

        That said, I’m looking at having more food stocks on hand, to get us through temporary supply chain disruptions.

      • AlmightyJB

        Any one of those things could go out locally or regionally or in the case of water be contaminated for a week or more after a major weather event.

      • R C Dean

        I was thinking all three go down at once. I think the one worth planning for is electricity – of our basic infrastructure, its the one that is most fragile.

        Water contamination may be a regional issue, and can be prepped for with a Berkey filter (already got, thanks). Probably the easiest scenario to deal with. Loss of water altogether would be a very different thing.

        I can’t think what would bring the natural gas supply offline that wouldn’t be part of a TEOTWAKI event; if natural gas goes offline, then it takes electricity with it. Not sure how losing electricity would affect the water supply – this has certainly come up in big regional electricity outages (hurricanes, ice storms), but I don’t recall water being an issue. There may be enough gravity-fed water distribution to take care of it for awhile, but eventually the pumps have to work.

      • Shirley Knott

        Water was becoming an issue in Cleveland during the ‘great blackout’ of 2003. Eventually the pumps have to work, and in many areas, they’ll need to start working sooner rather than later.

      • AlmightyJB

        Coal burning stove would be nice to have (I think you can burn wood in a coal stove but not the other way around?). If you could find an old gas stove for your basement and convert it to propane (smaller orafices), that would be another cooking option as long as the propane lasted.

      • AlmightyJB

        If things were much worse, I agree that you’ll need a more long-term plan, but the ability to wait things out for a bit and see what’s going to happen is a definite advantage. You definitely want the ability to defend your property in a situation like that. Because once the grocery shelves are empty for a week, it’s going to get bad. Unless your Suthenboy in which case you shrug your shoulders:)

      • Suthenboy

        ” having more food stocks on hand, to get us through temporary supply chain disruptions.”

        This, and the camp stove with extra gas. A couple of years ago I bought two 0.1 micron water filters that are supposed to be good for 1M gallons each. I also keep extra medical stuff around, batteries and flashlights.
        I am good to go for about 3 months. I figure any crisis would be long over before I run out.

      • KSuellington

        Yup, water filters are good, I have one hand pump one I use for backpacking that would work. Also, iodine tablets are super cheap and very compact, you can have a couple hundred of those in a large pill bottle that would treat a lot of water.

    • Mojeaux

      I cannot. I was getting my advice through various sources, most contradicting each other, and spent a lot of time, money, and mental/emotional energy to put myself in a state of panic, fear, and terror. I decided I couldn’t live that way anymore. Thanks, ZeroHedge!

      I have realized, through this bankruptcy process and tracking our expenses, that constantly keeping track and being aware of how much we spend on just food, never mind anything else, keeps me in a constant state of active panic and hypervigilance. I can find no joy in anything because I must. be. doing. something. to make money. Never a break. Not when I sleep, not when I eat, not when I’m taking the kids to the doctor (which is about 25% of my daily time).

      I have to stick my head in the sand to gain any type of respite, and I can’t sleep without downing half a bottle of Tylenol P.M. because I toss and turn. If I get to sleep, it’s bad dreams about terrible things happening to us, so it’s of no use.

      So. When the apocalypse comes, I’m praying to be slain first so I don’t have to think about it anymore because I sure as hell won’t be prepared. I can’t live this way.

      • AlmightyJB

        That’s terrible Mo. All you can really do is make short-term and long-term plans and try and stick to them. Life is short, you need to find a way to enjoy it! Even if it’s the little things.

      • KSuellington

        Damn that sucks Mo. I hope you can get to a better financial place where you don’t have to obsess over money all the time.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, in actuality, for one very stupid reason, I’ve been dealing with this mindset since I was a child. I’ve got a great deal of PTSD from that and other related things compounding it. I only just realized what happened (and has been happening) about a month ago. It is also taking a toll on my marriage (not to be confused with bitching about my spouse, because I am not).

        But! I’m in therapy and I will get better. My mindset IS changing, but I ruminate a lot and try to force change and then I ruminate how that’s not working and so on.

        In reality, this bankruptcy course the court makes you take is really really painful but really really good, too. The material is presented in a way that is perfect for my learning style and I realized that we make a whole helluva lot more than I thought we did.

        My current worry is that no landlords I have contacted will answer me when I email about “post-bankruptcy discharge” and “I have a co-signer” and “I will have cash for several months’ worth of rent.”

        How do people with bad credit find places to live?! I have NEVER had to worry about that.

      • KSuellington

        Yeah, I can imagine it is tough to get past landlords with that. I have a similar issue with money worry (although it’s not as severe a problem) due to my parents almost losing our family house at age 16. We came within a couple weeks of foreclosure on the house my dad had built. Luckily some relatives loaned them money for a few months and they were able to ride it out. I hope you guys can find a place and do the same.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks!

        I definitely have issues with money. They are multifactorial.

        There is a place within what I am willing to pay and staying in the same school district that told me they have no problems with people whose bankruptcies have been discharged. It’s just that Mr. Mojeaux doesn’t want to live there, but now I’m the one driving this train. I will probably not be able to work from home so I’m going to have to find a way to work after libraries are closed. It also has no basement and no garage, so storage will be an issue.

        There comes a point where you say, “Is my stuff worth paying to be stored?”

        I am thinking out of the box on this. I could get an old cargo trailer to store stuff in. I could get a pull-behind camper and rehab it (ugh) to an office.

        I mean, sometimes the whole starting over thing is actually exciting. Cull the stuff. Live minimally. And then I look around and see that that’s not really possible for us right now.

        And this house is 2500 ft2 of livable space (not including the garage). You can imagine that going from 2500 ft2 of livable space to 1000 ft2 (plus basement/garage or both if we get really lucky) will be difficult.

      • KSuellington

        Yeah, it’s just stuff and all that, but still, that is not easy to make that kind of downsize. I am going to be faced with something similar soon as we are planning on a serious remodel and I have a ton of stuff in our garage that needs to go. So far I have procrastinated admirably about it.

      • Mojeaux

        So far I have procrastinated admirably about it.

        I, too, am an admirable procrastinator!

        My sticky wicket is my power tools. Right now, I have zero desire to DIY. However, they are an investment in case I need to go back to it. They won’t fetch the money back, but how long can I afford to pay to store them (sans basement or garage) before the ROI goes south?

      • KSuellington

        I would save the power tools as you will only get pennies on the dollar for them. I’d pay for a small storage unit for them, but that’s just me.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m thinking a used cargo trailer would be better. Park and rig it so it’s difficult for someone to haul off.

        At some point, I am going to want a camper trailer office, so I’ll need those tools.

      • AlmightyJB

        I’m glad you’re in therapy. I hope you find a way to find some tranquility. You deserve it.

      • Mojeaux

        “Tranquility”

        It’s so funny you used that word. My therapist said we all have or should have a value we prize more than all others, but not like, a moral value. A state of being. “I want to be a nice person,” for example.

        Well, I’m not nice or whatever, although I can act like I am sometimes. Anyway, he gave me a very long list of things people find as their value.

        I went through it with a highlighter and ranked them and what came out on top was…

        Tranquility.

        That is what I’m working toward.

    • KSuellington

      I have a propane grill with four large tanks; I keep at least two of those tanks full at all times. That takes care of my cooking for a long while. I have 50-60 MRE’s and a 50 pound bag of rice in addition to a couple weeks worth of canned food. I lacking in space to really store water but have 25 gallons in plastic carboys and usually a case or two of sparkling water in the garage, along with a couple rain catchers if necessary.

    • MikeS

      I have a couple discs in my Amazon cart, and have been looking at how to make my own baskets. You bastard!!!

    • Rhywun

      “Joe… that’s a calculator.”

      LOL

    • JD is Unemployed

      That Simpsons one seems to mix up Fauxcahontas with Klobasaurus – on second thought Krabappel is just too damn laissez faire to be either of them.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Maybe a reference to beer-getting? And isn’t Maude too pleasant to be Amy’s stand-in? Loved that one otherwise.

        (Congrats on the job, Yusef!)

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yeah, that one didn’t really fit. Not sure if she has a good match from the show. Maybe Lindsey Naegle.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Good call.

    • AlmightyJB

      Lol. Those were classic:)

    • R C Dean

      Sounds like an unconstitional general warrant to me.

      Not that anybody who matters cares.

      • Q Continuum

        +1 DWI checkpoint

      • Fatty Bolger

        No doubt they equate it to an area canvass.

    • KSuellington

      “Well, if you weren’t doing anything wrong, you’ll have nothing to worry about anyway.”

  23. Not Adahn

    The chipmunks have come out of hibernation. It must be spring.

  24. PieInTheSky

    First coromavirus case in bucharest now it is time to panick

    • PieInTheSky

      I have no idea where that k came from but whatever

      • Not Adahn

        You started shopping at Hot Topic?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Those dirty Eye-talians?

    • MikeS

      I hope spelling errors aren’t a symptom.

      • Not Adahn

        That wasn’t a spelling error, Romania has the cheap knockoff virus.

      • R C Dean

        A cheap knockoff of a Chinese product? Seems unlikely.

    • AlmightyJB

      Good to know

  25. Tres Cool

    Whilst out running some errands, I popped into our Sam’s club (Jugsy has a thing for their lobster ravioli).

    Man, I shoulda went long on paper futures. Nearly everyone checking out had HUGE piles of toilet paper and paper towels.

    Also, gas at my re-constructed Speedway was nearly $0.25/gal cheaper than Sam’s. Whaddupwidat ?

    • AlmightyJB

      I picked up a large package last week when I heard about the run on TP in Washington State.

      • R C Dean

        These euphemisms are getting positively scatological.

    • R C Dean

      I note the owner isn’t drinking Guinness. Probably the only way to keep his alkie pony’s snout out of his beer.