Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Mar 5, 2020 | Daily Links | 419 comments

Happy Thursday, y’all. My kid is still sick, so its not exactly “happy”, because while it is good that he is on the mend and not as sick as yesterday, that means that he’s bored with lying around and watching movies. Bored little boys are not great for productivity. So far he has not destroyed anything, so we’ll count it a win.

Coronavirus generates $8.3B in government cheese.

Lesbians up in arms about Turkish “migrants.” Make your own anal joke.

I’m sad that the space shuttle Endeavour is retired. I can’t make an “Endeavor to persevere” joke about the new Mars rover.

I was sad to learn that Burnt Orange Heresy has nothing to do with claiming University of Texas football has become mediocre.


Sort of SugarFree Dem Deathwatch

Warren’s not worth posting the giant graphic again. She could have got a dignified X if she had dropped out yesterday, but no, she’s got to play Big Woman, rolling her own tampons and kickstarting her vibrator.

But here’s a delicious little link for you. The wailing. The tears.

The Anguish of Clinton-Warren Supporters

Anguish, people. ANGUISH!

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

419 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    wassup ?

    • UnCivilServant

      We fixed a confusing problem that had been bugging us since friday.

  2. Certified Public Asshat

    Paul, the only senator to vote against the bill, had put forward the only amendment to the legislation. Paul’s amendment sought to offset the costs of the coronavirus spending by cutting funding for certain international programs.

    “I support our government’s efforts to fight the coronavirus,” Paul said in a statement earlier Thursday. “We also owe it to the American people to do it in a way that avoids piling billions more in debt on their backs.”

    This guy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      RAND PAUL WANTS YOU TO DIE

      • invisible finger

        Rand is being fiscally irresponsible. Old people dying of coronovirus will save Social Security $100 billion.

      • Mojeaux

        ^^^This guy gets it.

      • dontreadonme

        You mean ‘responsible’, right?

    • Chafed

      He at least gestures toward fiscal responsibility. I can’t think of another Republican senator doing that much.

    • leon

      Doubtless there will be people calling for his neighbor to attack him again over this.

    • Urthona

      I agree with him. Saving people from Coronavirus is worth $6 billion. tops.

      • dontreadonme

        It is a huge price tag considering all the infrastructure already in place. Also, there is plenty of BS funding elsewhere that could be reallocated for this purpose. It takes some elephant size balls to make a move like this, and I support him in it.

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    “I thought we’d moved on from having two men basically cockfighting on the debate stage.” — Warren supporter Sayu Bhojwan

    You could have had Tulsi instead of a shrieking harpy and maybe had a chance.

    And what it is with the Indian women and leftist politics these days? Is it just me or are they over-represented?

    • Urthona

      Too bad she was brownlisted by her party after she destroyed Kamala Harris.

    • Gadfly

      And what it is with the Indian women and leftist politics these days? Is it just me or are they over-represented?

      *dons tin-foil hat*
      They’re being recruited so the leftists will have people intersectionally-positioned to criticize Nikki Haley when she runs for president.

      • dontreadonme

        I think we will see Haley run and eviscerate the competition. Our first female ‘minority’ LOL president

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Most of these women say they’ll vote in November for any Democratic candidate against Donald Trump.

      And that’s why the Democrats will never, ever reflect your preferences. If you’ll vote for any set of hair plugs or hobo-hair goofball with a D next to their name, why should they deviate from their preferred candidate for you?

    • Chipwooder

      There certainly are some high profile ones, yes

    • invisible finger

      “what it is with the Indian women and leftist politics these days?”

      They are relative experts on caste systems.

    • Grumbletarian

      They’d prefer two women hate-scissoring on stage?

      • Spudalicious

        Hawt.

  4. Chafed

    Lesbians up in arms about Turkish “migrants.” Make your own anal joke.

    I am really disappointed with the video.

  5. leon

    Most of these women say they’ll vote in November for any Democratic candidate against Donald Trump. But many of them haven’t forgotten how Bernie Sanders delayed his endorsement of Clinton in 2016.

    How dare that evil mean misogynist withold an endorsement of Herself. She was the most Qualified Person to ever live.

    • Rhywun

      Most of these women say they’ll vote in November for any Democratic candidate against Donald Trump.

      “Film at 11.”

  6. leon

    Where’s a good site to find extra magazines?

      • whiz

        My first thought, too.

    • Drake

      Playboy?

    • Drake

      Cheaper than dirt if you are looking for gun mags.

      • dontreadonme

        +1

    • Chafed

      On the chance you are talking about guns, try Palmetto State Armory.

    • leon

      :SIGH: i thought you gun nuts would jump at the opportunity to be helpful rather than snarky.

      Where is a good site to find pistol magazines?

      • Tundra

        Thanks! Ordered a couple from CDNN. Excellent price.

      • leon

        Nice cdnn has some good prices.

      • Drake

        I thought you gun nuts would jump at the opportunity to be helpful rather than snarky.

        Really?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought he understood us.

      • Sean

        I was surprised no one suggested his dentist’s office.

      • leon

        I would have been snarky too.

      • Spudalicious

        That’s a snarky thing to say.

      • The Last American Hero

        Heh heh he said nuts

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Hottake Thursday: She Was Too Smart For This World

    Elizabeth Warren was, in my view, a victim of two things.

    First, and the most obvious, is systematized misogyny. A misogyny that gave her negative ratings for the very character traits that are necessary, even essential, for any Presidential candidate. And, having seen the example of 2016, she knew that the same misogynistic attacks that occurred in 2016 would happen again in 2020.

    The corporate media promoted and spread what they framed as her negatives, from their choices of pundits, and the way they concentrated on what they called the negatives. But, as we know, the negatives, such as ambition, and strength, and genius level intelligence, are only negatives when they are exhibited by a female.

    Second, Warren, like HRC in 2016, is and was, victimized by her incredible competence, and grasp of the issues. Yes, Warren did have plans for many things, but the media, and many voters, do not want to have the in-depth type of discussion that would have been required to examine her plans. The plans could never be reduced to 10 second sound bites and 6 word bumper stickers.

    And her plans were anathema to the very rich, and the media that they own and control.

    And for a corporate media that prefers flash to substance, and an acceptance of things remaining the same, that became a negative for Warren.

    • Florida Man

      There she goes. One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

    • tarran

      Jesus! These people are rally, really desperate for a modern day Mussolini to come save them, aren’t they.

    • Chafed

      Where’s my Democratic Underground trigger warning?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was put in the drawer with the microaggressions.

      • Ted S.

        You couldn’t bother to hover over the link?

        (Or, if you’re on a phone or table, hold down on the link?)

    • leon

      Second, Warren, like HRC in 2016, is and was, victimized by her incredible competence, and grasp of the issues.

      Nothing says incredible competence, and grasp of issues like constantly talking about how many selfies you’ve taken with people.

      • SugarFree

        Or having your dog attend rallies in your place.

      • leon

        You know who else had a dog….?

      • grrizzly
      • leon

        Konni (Russian: Ко́нни, 3 January 1999 – 22 February 2014), full name Connie Leod Paulgrave[2] (Ко́нни По́лгрейв), also known as Connie, was a female black Labrador Retriever

        She knew too much i see…

      • dontreadonme

        “…genius level intelligence…”….hahahahaha…aaaaaaa….hahahahahaha…

    • Shirley Knott

      Plans like those for her acquisition of the nomination and then the presidency? Competency such as she displayed in successfully executing those plans?

    • Tonio

      So yummy, so delicious.

    • SugarFree

      victimized by her incredible competence

      Imagine the oxygen deprivation required to write that with a straight face.

    • Sean

      She was a victim of the Democratic base. Got it.

    • Rhywun

      We were never going to be worthy. If only she had dialled down her magnificence just a bit.

      • Sensei

        Have we learned nothing since HRC?

        /DU

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Maybe some people don’t believe in top down planning.

  8. Mojeaux

    rolling her own tampons and kickstarting her vibrator

    First laugh today.

    • Chafed

      Agreed. Kudos Brett. That was excellent.

      • Brett L

        Too funny for me. Everything below the line is SF.

      • Chafed

        You still get credit for having the good sense to include it.

    • Tonio

      Indeed.

  9. leon

    Serene Arena, who lives in Chicago, agrees with Sanders on almost every policy issue—on paper. She reads the socialist magazine Jacobin and considers herself a social democrat, a term she said describes Sanders, too. But she viewed Elizabeth Warren as much more likely to get things done, and she is exhausted by the “endemic sexism” that she sees holding her candidate back. “I see [Sanders] as a perpetuation of that,” she said. “I don’t see where he is really lifting women up so much as letting the women who believe in him come with him.” In January, Warren accused Sanders of having told her in 2018 that he did not think a woman could win the presidency. (Sanders denied her account.)

    So really you’re saying you don’t want to support Bernie, despite him hitting all the policy proposals, because he doesn’t have a Vagina. Interesting. There certainly is a lot of sexisim at play here.

    • Tonio

      letting the women who believe in him come with him

      LOLOL…

      • The Last American Hero

        So she’s a fan of his erotic fiction as well

  10. tarran

    I just finished listening to the latest Jock Willink podcast. He has a survivor of Auschwitz on as his guest. It’s about as heart-rending as you would expect.

    One thing that stood out; how gradually the Jews were evicted from society throughout Europe. Step by step, the state limited their access not only to the levers of power, but also encroached on their rights. The populace was encouraged to abuse them while authorities ignored it. Each slice of the salami was so small that nobody really rose up in rebellion. And, by the time they were being loaded into cattle cars, it was too late.

    The other thing that stood out; the camps depended on the cooperation of the victims to operate. If the inhabitants had all gone on strike simultaneously and refused to work, the Germans would have had no choice but to divert entire armies to exterminating the inmates.

    Adding to my anguish, I see so many parallels between the modern Green movement and the Nazis of old. And right now everyone is confident that they won’t actually act on their rhetoric… except that they are.

    Anyway, I expect all who listen to it will be moved to tears.

    • Tundra

      I’ve listened to Jocko as a guest a couple times. How are his podcasts?

      • Chafed

        You were a guest on his show?

        If this is a serious question, if you listen to one of his podcasts you will know what to expect from all the others. He is a very consistent person. He has lots of questions for his guests. Asks military and ethical questions (if appropriate for the guest) and gives his guests all the time they need to respond. You might say he is the opposite of Nick Gillespie as an interviewer.

      • Ozymandias

        Not that I’m a mind-reader, but I think Tundra is saying he’s heard Jocko as “a guest” on other people’s podcasts (maybe Andy Stumpf’s?) and is asking how he is running a show on his own as a host. Which you seem to have answered.

      • Tundra

        Yes. Thanks to both to you.

    • Raston Bot

      those MW generation targets in Virginia’s Clean Economy Act are batshit insane.

    • Tundra

      And thank you, tarran. 10 minutes in I can tell I’m gonna have to save this one for a quieter time. Damn.

    • Rhywun

      Virginia’s legislature is poised to enact a Clean Economy Act that would eliminate coal-based electricity generation, prevent construction of new gas-fired power plants – and replace reliable, affordable fossil energy with wind, solar and battery-backup power.

      LOL Virginia, you crazy.

      • Ted S.

        I hope the neighboring states cut off electricity transmission to Virginia.

        (And California.)

      • UnCivilServant

        I know it’s never going to happen, but after a legislature goes crazy like this, I’d love to see them voted out and the first act of the new crop be a single bill “All changes implemented during the last legislative session are revoked, and the laws and regulations are to return to the state they were on X” with the date being before the crazy pack entered.

      • leon

        What kind of Majority did VA dems get that they are able to get through this stuff without any Dems in the legislature breaking away?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That would be the “vote in lockstep or we will shank you in the next election” type of majority.

      • Raston Bot

        there are moderate Dems but they’re caving. i assume the implied threat is they’ll be primaried by someone crazy if they don’t go along.

      • Gadfly

        +2 in the Senate and +10 in the House. In other words, Scruffy is absolutely right about this being a lockstep movement.

      • Tonio

        …and the Governor.

    • dontreadonme

      Nice read, thanks.

  11. Mojeaux

    Which wicked witch is which?

    Hillary EAST (house crushed her)

    Warren WEST (melted by monoxide dihydrate)

      • Tonio

        She was a good witch.

    • AlmightyJB

      The actual witches of the east and west might be fun to party with. I would rather have my teeth drilled than party with Hillary and Liz.

      • Spudalicious

        You like getting pegged with a broom, do ya?

        “Heh heh heh heh. Take THAT my pretty!”

      • Shirley Knott

        “And while you’re up, sweep the floor!”

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Italy’s numbers don’t look good.

    A day after announcing it would shut all schools and universities for two weeks, Italy reported a sharp hike in COVID-19 deaths.

    The death toll jumped from 107 people on Wednesday to 148 on Thursday.

    The northern regions of Emilia-Romagna and Lombardy — which surround Milan — remain the worst-hit with nearly three-quarters of all the country’s infections.

    Lombardy has had 98 deaths and 2,251 cases; Emilia-Romagna 30 fatalities and 698 infections.

    That’s over a 4% mortality rate.

    • jesse.in.mb

      God damn it. That was meant to be standalone…I wonder if I can fix that.

    • Drake

      The real morality rate is probably much lower, but… A lot of people seem to get sick enough to need hospitalization and serious care. Once the hospitals are full and the staff is sick, the 10% or 15% who get seriously ill then recover – aren’t going to recover.

      • pistoffnick

        “The real morality rate …”

        Jokes on you – I’m already immoral

      • Drake

        Then nothing to fear but death itself.

    • Urthona

      Yeah but the mortality rate is extremely low among young, sexy people who matter.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m 0 for 3 on that one.

        Crap

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Second, Warren, like HRC in 2016, is and was, victimized by her incredible competence, and grasp of the issues.

    Indubitably so.

    • AlmightyJB

      Lol

  14. Drake

    People are still getting on cruise ships?

    Princess Cruises confirmed on Thursday morning that “fewer than 100 guests and crew” of the Grand Princess have been identified for COVID-19 testing after some began experiencing “influenza-like illness symptoms.”

    The Grand Princess, which was returning to San Francisco from a voyage to Hawaii, is currently being held offshore following reports of the ship’s connection to a cluster of coronavirus outbreaks in California.

    • Ted S.

      Too bad the Pacific Princess was scrapped several years ago.

      • Chipwooder

        This week on The Love Boat: Despite Doc’s best efforts, coronavirus spreads through the crew; Gopher dies; Captain Stubing refuses to leave his cabin for any reason.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d watch that.

      • kinnath

        Flashback to the days of one TV in the house that picked up three channels. Then being out voted having to watch the fucking Love Boat.

      • Ted S.

        You didn’t want to see Charo?

      • Mojeaux

        Coochi coochi coo!

        The Love Boat

      • Not Adahn

        According to Sloopy, she has an excellent recipe for beans.

      • Drake

        Guess star Robert Conrad tosses sick people over the side of the boat.

      • Chipwooder

        I don’t know why this made me laugh as hard as it did, but kudos for that one!

        Maybe it’s because it reminds me of the Battle of the Network Stars when Conrad was talking shit to Gabe Kaplan before Mr Kotter smoked him in the 100 meters.

      • pistoffnick

        “Battle of the Network Stars”

        Six year old me remembers Lynda Carter’s swimsuit

        vividly

      • Chipwooder

        Oh yes. Lynda Carter was a total knockout.

        There are a ton of YT clips from those shows and they’re rather hilarious to watch today, particularly a chain-smoking Telly Savalas standing around the track in a jogging suit. A window to a very different world.

      • Private Chipperbot

        That made me giggle too.

      • invisible finger

        The Love Boat becomes Ghost Ship. I would pay to see that.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        What about Julie? Does she have a series of flings figuring that if she’s going to die she might as well go out with a bang?

      • invisible finger

        Now you know the reason Capt. Stubing won’t leave his cabin.

      • C. Anacreon

        He’ll be in his bunk.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Returning from Hawaii? Not good.

  15. J. Frank Parnell

    Did a memo go out about Warren’s “Competence”?

    America Punished Elizabeth Warren for Her Competence

    The campaigns of those who deviate from the traditional model of the American president—the campaign of anyone who is not white and Christian and male—will always carry more than their share of weight. But Warren had something about her, apparently: something that galled the pundits and the public in a way that led to assessments of her not just as “strident” and “shrill,” but also as “condescending.” The matter is not merely that the candidate is unlikable, these deployments of condescending imply. The matter is instead that her unlikability has a specific source, beyond bias and internalized misogyny. Warren knows a lot, and has accomplished a lot, and is extremely competent, condescending acknowledges, before twisting the knife: It is precisely because of those achievements that she represents a threat. Condescending attempts to rationalize an irrational prejudice. It suggests the lurchings of a zero-sum world—a physics in which the achievements of one person are insulting to everyone else.

    • SugarFree

      Journolist never went away, it just hid itself better.

      • Chipwooder

        Old Weigels never die…..

        I wish I could remember now which Reason writer scoffed at the notion that JounoList’s existence was an indication of message coordination in the media on a massive scale. It was an early-warning indicator that the place was going downhill.

        I find it amusing that the linked article uses a brief story about two women who supported other candidates, and apparently really dislike Warren, as a springboard into yet another tedious lecture about supposed misogyny. They were self-loathing females, I take it?

      • Urthona

        Also, didn’t Hillary Clinton literally just win the democratic nomination and the popular vote 4 years ago despite rolling a natural 3 for charisma?

      • The Last American Hero

        Yes, and still got a three after the free reroll

      • leon

        I wish I could remember now which Reason writer scoffed at the notion that JounoList’s existence was an indication of message coordination in the media on a massive scale. It was an early-warning indicator that the place was going downhill.

        The absolute most Bottom line for any Reason Writer (and probably what drove me the most insane) was their undying loyalty to protect any other journalist. See also: their treatment of the Hulk Hogan vs Gawker episode.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        -1 Jacket

        That was supremely pathetic.

      • Chipwooder

        Oh dear god yes – for a while it seemed like every day yielded a new HnR post about the horrors of the Hogan/Gawker case and how it meant freedom of the press no longer existed and how bad a guy Thiel was for bankrolling Hogan’s lawsuit.

    • leon

      The campaigns of those who deviate from the traditional model of the American president—the campaign of anyone who is not white and Christian and male—will always carry more than their share of weight.

      They do realize that they are saying that the Democratic Party is full of White Supremacists, Chauvinist, Christian Bigots…. right?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That would require thought.

        And remember how they treated Condoleeza Rice.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        They do realize that they are saying that the Democratic Party is full of White Supremacists, Chauvinist, Christian Bigots…. right?

        No, you’re forgetting:

        * When Republicans do bad things, it’s the Republicans who are bad.

        * When Democrats do bad things, it’s America that’s bad.

      • Chipwooder

        When Democrats do bad things, it’s America that’s bad.

        DUKE: “The lights are getting dim. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate but, still, I blame society. Society made me what I am!”

        OTTO: “That’s bullshit, Duke. You’re a white suburban punk, just like me.”

        DUKE: “Yeah, but it…still hurts!” begins death rattle

      • Spudalicious

        Bravo!

    • Rebel Scum

      1/1024 competent.

    • Urthona

      I think she dispelled the competence myth herself when she released that hilarious health care plan.

    • Gadfly

      the campaign of anyone who is not white and Christian and male

      It should here be noted that Warren hits as much of this trifecta as Bernie (2 for 3). Maybe she’ll endorse him out of solidarity?

    • AlmightyJB

      Gotta love THOs

    • dontreadonme

      Twenty Fing nuove!

  16. Rebel Scum

    Make your own anal joke.

    Scissor me timbers.

    Oh, you said – never mind.

    • SugarFree

      You can anal scissor. The balls sort of get in the way, but a couple of rubber bands can fix that.

      How else would two bottoms have sex?

      • AlmightyJB

        Things I didn’t want in my brain.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I just wasted thirty seconds thinking about that.

        I hate you.

      • SugarFree

        You can also back into each other until the anuses meet, but one person has to rotate 90 degrees to get the butt cheeks to fit together. This is called tetrising.

      • kinnath

        Stop it

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You know, I have a high degree of spatial visualization capability.

        I just mentally recreated that problem in full 3D.

        Fuck you.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I saw that movie. Centipede.

      • DEG

        I figured it out in less than thirty seconds.

      • pistoffnick

        “…a couple of rubber bands…”

        That’s how we castrated sheep and goats down on the farm.

        DON’T TRY THIS! YOUR NUTS WILL FALL OFF (eventually)!

      • SugarFree

        No, no. You just tie them up and out of the way. A silk scarf or the terry cloth belt from your mother’s bathrobe would work just as well.

      • pistoffnick

        I don’t know, a silk scarf seems too gay

      • dontreadonme

        And pigs too….pretty brutal. I never did that to my animals.

    • Ted S.

      He wanted you to make a joke about your own anus.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Coronavirus generates $8.3B in government cheese.

    If only the CDC stuck to studying and responding to disease rather than wasting money on research on things that are outside its wheelhouse such as guns..

    • dontreadonme

      Guns are spreading like a plague!!!!

  18. jesse.in.mb

    Proposal: Take internet away from everyone born before 1961, redistribute that internet to people born after 1961.

    Argument in favor of this proposal:

    Hello, I’m Laila Ahmadi from China, Faculty of Medical Sciences, Zanjan University
    Corona virus arrives in any country, sooner or later there is no doubt that many countries have no diagnostic sets or equipment, so
    Please use as much as possible of natural vitamin C to strengthen your immune system.
    Don’t worry, C gets rid of it a lot, and it’s fine.

    The virus currently contains no vaccine and no specific treatment
    Unfortunately, due to the genetic mutation that made it very dangerous
    This disease appears to be caused by gene fusion in a snake and bat, and it has acquired the ability to infect mammals, including humans.

    It is important to keep the message on your greatest knowledge: Professor Chen Horin, CEO of the Beijing Military Hospital, said: “Slices of lemon in a cup of lukewarm water can save your life.” *
    Even if you work, you should take a look at this message and pass it on to others! The lemon cut into three parts and put in a cup, then pour hot water and turn it into (alkaline water),
    After reading, talk to someone else and transfer it to the person you love and take care of your personal health.
    Council:
    Professor Chen Horin notes that anyone who receives this message is at least guaranteed to save someone’s life…
    I have done my job and I hope you can help me develop it as well.
    They published it in academic groups

    • leon

      How much did you order?

      • Gadfly

        I didn’t read anything about it coming in 55 gallon barrels, so I’m guessing none.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      The lemon cut into three parts and put in a cup, then pour hot water and turn it into (alkaline water),

      Literally shaking right now

      • UnCivilServant

        How do you add acid to water and get an alkaline?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Science, bitch

      • leon

        Stop questioning what the water Identifies as!

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        BY. SHAKING. IT.

        Jesus didn’t you read my comment?!?

    • Ted S.

      There’s a finite amount of internet?

    • Jarflax

      I realize this is quibbling over the height of the railings on the Titanic, but how would lemon water be alkaline?

      • Sensei

        When whatever translation program behind the great firewall badly translates it.

      • jesse.in.mb

        It’s an alternative medicine thing that lemon–though acidic–alkalizes the body as part of the metabolic process. I had to look up the details myself, but it seems like poor communication, rather than willful wrongness. Lemon water, though acidic, alkalizes the urine (potential renal acid load [PRAL]).

  19. A Leap at the Wheel

    Talking last night to a progressive friend of my who supported Warren (a dude, FWIW).

    Paraphrased:
    Dude: “I really liked Warren. I was sad to see she didn’t gain any traction.”
    Me: “Liked her as a person, or liked her policy proposals.”
    Dude: “Liked her as a person. Probably couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her.”

    Yes, he knew that her own supporters feeling that way was a death-knell for a candidate.

    • Urthona

      I still can’t get over the blatant lie she told about being a normal person who enjoys having a beer.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        95% of career politicians seem to be either sociopathic hedonists or psychopathic sadist… and she doesn’t seem like the hedonic type…

  20. invisible finger

    HR sent a memo telling us to “fist bump, elbow bump, or slight bow” instead of shaking hands.

    I’m going to do a “heil” sign and call it an elbow bump.

    • leon

      Is Face Slapping acceptable?

      • invisible finger

        Only with the back of your hand.

    • Sean

      How about an ass slap?

      • invisible finger

        I had half a mind to send a note to HR that my elbow is an erogenous zone.

      • Sean

        In the same note suggest company sponsored square dancing as a team building event.

      • Ted S.

        Fuck team-building events.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You don’t like being forced to do meaningless activities with people you don’t really care to be around?

      • Tundra

        Too much like family events.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Actually sounds a lot like a visit to the gym…

      • Plisade

        Nice hyphenating to keep you out of trouble.

      • Jarflax

        Shifting the hyphen makes more entertaining event…

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Many hyphens were busted at the event.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        something something secret cabal of its enemies.

  21. Tonio

    But there’s a special kind of defeat experienced by women who supported Hillary Clinton through multiple election cycles and supported Elizabeth Warren through this one. Most of these women say they’ll vote in November for any Democratic candidate against Donald Trump. But many of them haven’t forgotten how Bernie Sanders delayed his endorsement of Clinton in 2016. They’re exhausted by the aggressiveness of some of his supporters. They’re uninspired by Biden.

    Uninspired == grimly and desperately keeping silent about the groping and the sniffing.

    I told you this would happen. It is going to be one of the best features of this campaign, until the moment where they can’t ignore it anymore and it all comes crashing down.

    • Gadfly

      …until the moment where they can’t ignore it anymore and it all comes crashing down.

      What are the odds he inappropriately touches someone during the traditional town-hall debate?

      • Tonio

        Pretty good, but the legacy media will cover for him for as long as possible, until someone makes public they can’t ignore or cover up.

      • Tonio

        until someone makes public *something* they can’t…

  22. Certified Public Asshat

    An Open Letter to White Liberals Blaming ‘Low Information’ Black Voters for Not Cleaning Up White Folks’ Mess

    I’m writing this letter, lurking outside the threshold to equality, peering through the same peephole through which we watched you enjoy 401 years of unfettered, glorious freedom while black people presented themselves as a living sacrifice, offering their necks to nooses, their skulls to batons and their children’s bodies to firebombs.

    A few days ago, I was informed that some of you may have a problem with black voters who actually went to voting booths and exercised their right to vote for whomever the fuck they wanted. Apparently, anyone who didn’t vote the way outraged, left-leaning white liberals wanted must have been an uninformed heathen, a moderate or, even worse, a “centrist.”

    And now your fragile brittle hearts are broken into a thousand little pieces because black people have rejected the Buddha of Birkenstock-wearers during his quest for the presidency. And, by not choosing Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden supporters are somehow ruining America.

    In a piece titled “Voting for the Safe Choice Means Doom for Us All,” Earther, one of our sister sites, expressed this sentiment well:

    Oh God yes, give me more.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Wait till he finds out which party has been pushing to take away guns from black people along with the vote…

      • leon

        tHE pArtIEs sWitChEd!!!

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        IKR, like before it was the Democrats keeping black kids in failing schools because they hated them, and now they keep black kids in failing schools because they love them.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        To be fair, Harriot is the son of 70’s era radical Black “by any means necessary” revolutionaries. He knows that history quite well.

        He’s also a dumb piece of shit honest-to-goodness racial bigot.

        Two things he has in common with Coates.

      • invisible finger

        “To be fair”

        *narrows gaze

    • Tonio

      This just keeps getting better and better.

    • Plisade

      I’m likening the time and effort proggies put into their mental gymnastics, progjection, conflation, outright lying, etc., to the same time and effort the people in the middle east put into taking to the streets and making/waving posters of bearded dudes’ faces, burning murrican flags, etc. If they could just direct all that energy to doing something productive…

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Is “centrist” the new “nigger”?

      Finally a sentence I agree with!

    • J. Frank Parnell
      • Shirley Knott

        That’s the right one.

      • dontreadonme

        well done.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Proposal: Take internet away from everyone born before 1961, redistribute that internet to people born after 1961.

    I’d get a hell of a lot more accomplished, that’s for sure.

  24. Chipwooder

    “Bravo! The wolves devour each other!”

    • Chipwooder

      bah, that was supposed to be a reply to CPA’s post

  25. Mojeaux

    XX cashing her first paycheck. /proud mama

    • Chipwooder

      And, hopefully, the seeds of a hatred of the taxman as she notices, for the first time, money being siphoned out of her pocket.

      • Mojeaux

        She showed me a tax man meme. We laughed bitterly.

      • kinnath

        I helped my daughter file her taxes for the first time. She was appalled that she owed money and wouldn’t get it all back. I told her to vote republican.

    • Sensei

      Congrats!

      Have you at least given the banking application on her phone permission to photograph the check and upload the deposit? 😉

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Make sure you tally up the number of blankets he could have donated to the local shelter if there were no taxes taken out of it.

      • leon

        “XX”
        “number of blankets he could have donated”

        Why do you hate science?

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        I couldn’t remember which was which was which so I confidently ignored the issue and hoped no one would call me on it if I was wrong.

      • Animal

        With or without smallpox?

      • Mojeaux

        Elizabeth Warren went thataway ——->

      • Animal

        Quick, someone offer her a few cards of beads for her lands!

    • DEG

      Excellent.

    • Mojeaux

      Aaaaaannnnnd she just promptly lost a $20 bill. *headdesk*

      • Gadfly

        I’ve got her beat. When I was a teenager I accidentally threw away a €20 Euro bill. I wasn’t paying attention and threw that colorful thing right in the trash along with the amusement park map I was disposing of. Realized what happened about 10 minutes later when I went looking for it, but it was too late.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Every Christmas my Dad tells the story about how when we were kids, money from the grandparents got mixed up with the used wrapping paper and thrown in the fire.

      • dontreadonme

        And that’s how you shitlord.

  26. Mojeaux

    Me: *playing Motley Crue in car*

    XX: Um, don’t you think that’s a little loud? Also, your subwoofer…

    ME: IT’S PERFECT U Y NO LIKE OLD PEOPLE MUSIC?!

    • Jarflax

      Because it is Motley Crue?

      • Mojeaux

        Hush, you. I bet you hate Rush and Steely Dan too.

      • Jarflax

        Hate? No, indifferent to, bordering on dislike in the case of Rush, no issue with Steely Dan, but no great desire to hear it either.

      • Mojeaux

        ?

    • AlmightyJB

      My kids thought they didn’t like old people music until they got to high school and all my CDs disappeared.

  27. KibbledKristen

    Waiting for Tulip at our local Salvadoreno. AMA

    • Trolleric the Goth

      1. why would you wait for a flower?

      b. what’s a Salvadoreno?

      • KibbledKristen

        A. Because she’s a beautiful libertarian flower

        II. LMGTFY

      • Mojeaux

        LMGTFY

        ^^^This is the correct answer.

      • Jarflax

        LMGTFY

        Not directed at you KK, but how did we get to the point where “Go look it up” only with added condescension is seen as reflecting on the questioner rather than the respondent?

      • invisible finger

        Since it became policy at Best Buy?

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        but how did we get to the point where “Go look it up” only with added condescension is seen as reflecting on the questioner rather than the respondent?

        When basically all of human knowledge can be accessed with as much ease as asking the question, if only you point the question at wikipedia instead of a forum.

      • Jarflax

        Except of course the knowledge of how to be human, which includes interacting with other humans in some fashion other than hostility. Being asked a question is not an imposition.

      • The Hyperbole

        Particularly odd after she announced Ask Me Anything.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        only reason I even asked!

    • AlmightyJB

      Hawt

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Given that tacos are sandwiches, why aren’t hot dogs sandwiches?

      • KibbledKristen

        Neither is a sammich.

        Now I wish I had a husband who could get in the kitchen and make me one.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Try using this pick up line at your local deli:
        If I told you that you had a great hero grinder, would you put it in me?

      • KibbledKristen

        LOL

      • Spudalicious

        A taco, or hotdog?

      • Mojeaux

        Who’s giving “taco is a sandwich”?

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        All right thinking people.

  28. Ozymandias

    OT: https://www.foxnews.com/politics/nadler-tells-fox-news-hes-willing-to-let-fisa-expire-if-no-reauthorization-agreement

    If Nadler does this just to be shitty and obstructionist, and Trump says “I don’t give a fuck” in light of how he saw FISA being used on him, is it possible we could have the perfect storm of circumstances and wind up with FISA going away?? If it does happen, would it be the most liberty-favorable thing to happen in decades?? (I mean, it would be a unicorn if it happened. One of the only times I can remember the government rolling back from its own encroachment of our rights.

    Or… will some desperate, statist asshole Republicans somehow get a “deal” done on this on behalf of the Warfare State?

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      would it be the most liberty-favorable thing to happen in decades

      No way man, we got food truck regulation rolled back a little bit!!!!!

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Also Heller and/or Timbs.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      FISA is an authoritarian’s wet dream so of course they’ll get together and pass something.

    • Gadfly

      Or… will some desperate, statist asshole Republicans somehow get a “deal” done on this on behalf of the Warfare State?

      FTA:

      Attorney General William Barr and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., remain outnumbered by their Republican colleagues as they fight to convince Trump to renew FISA with minimal changes and then tackle significant reforms later on.

      Seems like they’re trying, but so far failing. Too soon for the “It’s Happening” GIF, but TPTB might want to keep it at the ready.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m surprised Tom Cotton isn’t in there

      • C. Anacreon

        Bold strategy there, Cotton.

    • Lackadaisical

      they’ll figure a way to reauthorize it in a spending bill which also gives a billion dollars to foreigners.

  29. DEG

    I can’t make an “Endeavor to persevere” joke about the new Mars rover.

    Let’s wait and see if they declare war on the Union.

  30. Count Potato

    “Warren’s not worth posting the giant graphic again. She could have got a dignified X if she had dropped out yesterday”

    Oh well, that’s probably a faulty cooker.

  31. Yusef drives a Kia

    OT: the Mountain trip was postponed, but Marty the Pro played 18 with me and did a complete form critique, and really helped improve my game.then Davin the Ill and I hooked up with a pair of guys from Vegas, for 18, Eli has Colon Cancer, 35 years old, yikes, but we had a blast, Locals Rule!

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      He is apparently beloved in American Samoa, so he could just move there.

      Actually, that’d be a pretty (fire emoji) 80’s sitcom.

      • Count Potato

        I think he spent around $9K per Samoan there.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Wow, is she ignorant.

      Jeff Sessions didn’t come from Arkansas. He came from a tree that contains a fully functioning bakery.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Somebody please validate my joke.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ok Keebler

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I don’t get it, but i laughed, Silly!

      • Tundra

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

        Keebler elves!

      • Spudalicious

        I refuse to validate a joke that’s not funny.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      *shrugs*

      You all look the same to me.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        *Shakes fist*
        *Remembers the time he was sixteen and mistaken for Vincent Pastore*
        Yeah ok

    • B.P.

      Best reply:

      “Arkansas didn’t give us Jeff Sessions, but it did give Hunter Biden a son.”

    • dontreadonme

      I hate you for making me read that shit.

    • KSuellington

      You can pretty much get away with theft here now as long as you stay under the $1000 mark.

      Drugs are also decriminalized. A couple months back I was watching these guys smoke heroin off a sheet of tin foil if front of a business they had just trashed (pissed all over the walls and emptied a garbage can out front). I saw a couple SFPD walking across the street and waved them over. One guy was literally finishing up his hit as the cops stood next to him. They just told them to move on so they shuffled off down the street.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t care if they take drugs, but trashing private property is the crime.

      • KSuellington

        The private property trashing is much more bothersome to me, but if you allow open drug use you get anti social behavior. Someone injecting heroin in their neck openly on the street will be likely to be the dude openly shitting as well. The meth heads openly smoking will be more likely to be destructive of property and such.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I agree they are more likely to commit other crimes but it’s the same as DUI. Drinking isn’t the offense, driving into a car full of kids is.

        Punish the actual crimes vigorously.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        but if you allow open drug use you get anti social behavior.

        Ok. That’s what decriminalization prevents though. When the Chinese could run actual opium dens in SF, the junkies had somewhere to go.

      • KSuellington

        The Chinese could run opium dens if it were legalized and they undoubtedly would do so. You would also have an increase in antisocial behavior among those who continued to use hard drugs in the street.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        You would also have an increase in antisocial behavior among those who continued to use hard drugs in the street.

        Sure. And the police would have a better SNR when dealing with it just like with alcohol.

      • The Hyperbole

        if you allow open drug use

        You respect liberty. This ‘could cause anti-social behavior’ reasoning could be (and has been) used to criminalized all sorts of victim-less/consensual activities and the only proper response is a hearty “Fuck off, Slaver!”

      • invisible finger

        “you get anti social behavior”

        Not the government’s job.

      • KSuellington

        You could leave the poop enforcement and such to private individuals.

      • Suthenboy

        The goal of the left is to upend society and culture and grab ultimate power while blood is in the streets. Congratulations California.

  32. Yusef drives a Kia

    I love AZ part #5740558,
    i went to the DMV to get a Title, Registration etc. for the Kia this morning, ughh, or so i thought,
    12 minutes, complete, I walked out with a Title, Registration, plates and tags, 158$ for 2 years,
    12 Minutes…….

  33. Suthenboy

    I haven’t been able to keep up here or with the news in general but I just popped in to announce……

    Especially directed at FourScore

    This is the first year I have tried using swarm traps. I hung the first one today and four hours later….bees. I am amazed. Speechless.
    I will plug the entrance one night before Monday and move the swarm into a proper hive.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *insert bees gif here*

    • Shirley Knott

      Cool. I know nothing about beekeeping (other than the fatality of stinging and the smoke as anesthesia). Maybe you and/or FourScore should do an article or two.

    • Fourscore

      You must have more wild bees than we do but your idea sounds good. Did you use a deep hive box? We’ve tried to recapture a swarm but never successfully. Did you use any bait, i.e. honey?

      We may try to capture some, we can put the box in a deer stand, away from our other hives

      I already ordered 4 3lb units from the local dealer.

    • dontreadonme

      Well done! I plan to steal a swarm this year as well!

  34. Timeloose

    Evening everyone,

    I see Burnt Orange isn’t just a snazzy Mopar color from the 1960’s.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Asshole

      But he’s associated with Dartmouth, so we already knew that.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Again, another news article describing him as a “patient” and “employee”. Dartmouth-Hitchcock must be spending a fortune to cover up that he was a fucking physician doing his residency.

      My daughter has to go there to see her hematologist. Fortunately she hasn’t had to go up there since before Thanskgiving, but if she had, you’d be reading about me in the paper having led a lynching.

      • Count Potato

        Wow.

      • Aus

        So… he should have known better?

      • Gustave Lytton

        What’s the handwashing rate for doctors again?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        YOU THINK?!?

        If he isn’t dropped from his program, it would be a travesty. This has to violate so many ethical codes that people have been drummed out for less on.

      • Tundra

        How did you find out about the guy?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        There are a few reputable news sources reporting it. I’ll look through my browser history for a link.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well, I’ll be damned.

        They may have memory-holed this. Some of the stories in my history are dead links. It could have been a rumor that was originally reported in a rush to get a scoop and then taken down when it was proven wrong. I mean, we had the President saying a woman was infected in WA when it was actually a man.

        On the other hand, this gives me pause:

        From the Independent:

        “The general vibe is we are all pretty concerned that this medical professional showed up to the event, despite being told to self-isolate,” said Christie Harrison, a first-year Tuck student who sang with the band that performed at the mixer on Friday night. She estimated that about a hundred business school students attended, along with 30 or 40 resident physicians associated with Dartmouth-Hitchcock, an academic medical centre located near Dartmouth College.

        Orderlies and LNAs aren’t usually called “medical professionals” are they?

      • Aus

        Yeah, I want to know too. That’s *huge* news. That would look really bad for a whole lot of people if it was commonly reported.

      • Not Adahn

        IDK.

        Cuomo went out of his way to assure NY’ers that all the Coronavirus in the state was from one (((businessman))). And then his synagogue was ordered closed indefinitely.

        And absolutely noone sees anything wrong with this.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Jewhan?

      • Mojeaux

        That happened when the USDA moved to Kansas City, only it was way more than 50%.

    • Timeloose

      It’s funny, but I’m still amazed and disappointed that this is our president arguing with another adult via Twitter.

      Sad, so sad.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just accept it

      • Mojeaux

        My calm rational part agrees.

        My enraged part is gleeful that somebody on “my” side is willing to get down into the muck and win instead of losing with dignity as if losing is a virtue.

      • Suthenboy

        Agree 100%. The R’s strategy for decades has been to put the brakes on the slide into socialism instead of stopping or reversing it. They are just there to slow it down.
        I can’t decide who I hate more, the commies or their enablers.
        It is long past due for someone to kick them both in the teeth.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        that somebody on “my” side

        NARRATOR: Little did she know that, in fact, President Donald J. Trump wasn’t on her side.

      • Mojeaux

        See: quotation marks

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Are you questioning my artistic vision?

      • Mojeaux

        Art? You call that art?!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Arthur. Let’s not get too casual.

      • Ted S.

        HM got caught between the moon and New York City.

      • Mojeaux

        Then we got our wires Cross’d.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        You’d rather Trump hire out space in a party-owned newspaper to call him a hermaphrodite and a hypocrite, like the founds did?

      • Timeloose

        I’d prefer neither. I think I have too high expectations for our representatives.

        I have little to no respect for any of them. Stuff like this made me pissed when Obama did it and Trump is not significantly different. The difference is how the MSM reacts.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        What? Spaceballs is a classic!

        This is Trump at his most cultured!

      • invisible finger

        The high road is the road the loser takes.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s a classic

  35. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    Warren’s not worth posting the giant graphic again. She could have got a dignified X if she had dropped out yesterday, but no, she’s got to play Big Woman, rolling her own tampons and kickstarting her vibrator.

    Muahahahaa, now’s time to finish the finale of Zombie Presidential Candidate! Will the beast cause Lizzie to eat the non-binary speechwriter? Will Charlie and the scientist catch up with her? Who is the scientist? Why did she spend so much time at Bernie’s house last night?

    Some of these questions will be answered and more, on the thrilling conclusion of Zombie Presidential Candidate!

    • Animal

      <— Goes back into Alaska real estate ads

    • B.P.

      “The urban camping ban keeps people from setting up tents on sidewalks and in parks, and police can issue citations or arrest someone for noncompliance.”

      They do a lot of talking about the urban camping ban here, but when I look out my office window at all of the tents, I see just the opposite.

      Also, a month or so ago 9 News sent a camera crew through the tent city over in Lincoln Park. The news guy was cordially chatting up folks when he asked one guy, “Do you live here?” The guy replies, “Fuck no. I got a hotel room. I sell drugs here. I’m a gangster.” His partner says, “Hey man, shut up!”

      • Count Potato

        He probably has a picture on facebook posing with a gun and money.

    • Tundra

      Goddamit.

      Why do people wreck every good place?

      • B.P.

        Preach it.

      • Not Adahn

        Seriously! Kicking the rats out, WTF!?!?!?!

  36. Aus

    I kinda want to move, Columbus, OH is starting to feel a bit stale for me. I was thinking Florida… nobody ever moves from OH to FL.

    Seriously though, I really liked Tampa, it might be the first place I go scope out.

    • Hyperion

      “nobody ever moves from OH to FL.”

      No? My brother moved from Cleveland to FL about a decade ago.

      Take your pick, a climate that is unlivable for at least 6 months of the year, or constant exposure to Florida man and Florida woman.

      • Rhywun

        Florida’s climate is unlivable for more than six months a year.

      • Aus

        I have heard. But being thin, I shed head and don’t sweat quickly. The dryness and gray skies are killing me here though. Plus I’ve been here for a while.

        Although the end goal is too have multiple residences though.

        I NEED SUN

      • Aus

        err *heat*

      • Mojeaux

        I was in Apopka in May a couple of years ago. It was unbearable. And I saw kids in long-sleeved hoodies.

      • Hyperion

        I remember when I first moved to MD, from Indiana. I was walking down the street in Baltimore and it was 45 degrees. I wasn’t even wearing a jacket, because you didn’t even need one if you had a long sleeve shirt on. People were walking by me wearing full winter parkas with their head all bundled up and winter boots and gloves. In Indiana in the winter, if it was 45 degrees out, people would be wearing t-shirts and shorts.

      • Fourscore

        I’ve seen young guys (20s or so) in shorts and a long sleeve shirt with the temps closing in on zero. Fine inside the car but a little mishap and you’ll wish you had your long pants and a coat nearby. (I’m assuming a coat in the car anyway). Not me, I’m ready, coat, ear flapped cap, chopper mitts available, shovel and a tow chain and jumper cables in the back of the truck.

      • Hyperion

        I remember when my dad used to ice fish, all day long, with the wind chills below zero, with his shirt off. No kidding. Dude is 91 now, he doesn’t do that anymore, but he did it then and I was freezing my ass off with all the clothes I could get on. But 45 degrees? No one even needs a coat.

      • Fourscore

        When I was ice fishing (and hunting) I would have all the clothes I owned or could borrow. Sitting in the open on a barren lake with even a little breeze would chill me. I wear a lot of heavy clothes at 30 degrees sitting in a deer stand, after an hour the cold and humidity soak through me.

        I was out one morning, -10, 45 minutes later I shot a deer, I was a happy guy to climb out of the stand, get my hands inside that critter and get warmed up a bit.

        Walking/working is OK, sitting I get cold.

      • Aus

        Heh… yeah I thought it was common knowledge that Ohioans are commonplace in FL

      • Hyperion

        I didn’t really miss that, I just wanted to post something.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Invalidating a woman of color’s achievements. Shameful.

  37. invisible finger

    Art Vandelayoffs.

  38. Q Continuum

    Headline from The Federalist:

    “If Bloomberg Couldn’t Buy 2020, How Could Russian Buy 2016?”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hell, Clinton couldn’t buy 2016

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Ignorant Republicans are more likely to vote against their interests because of their fragile masculinity.

    • Hyperion

      Because Putin is somewhat over 4′ tall, and Napoleon Nannybot doesn’t have a lair under a volcano with a pool full of sharks with laser beams on their head. Duh!

  39. Hyperion

    For some reason, I still keep marveling at the spectacle of the dem’s best choice for presidential candidate in 2020, being Joe Biden. I mean even though I’ve been predicting exactly that result for months, I’m still sort of stunned by it. “All men and women are created, by the, you know, you know the thing.” Jeebus, they are so fucking toast.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      something something cabal of their enemies.

    • Urthona

      dominating in the polls though.

      same ones hillary was dominating in.

      • Hyperion

        I think it’s a lot more skewed than it was then. People who are not allies of the prog media do not trust pollsters and are very unlikely to respond to them.

        I can see why. Imagine you get a phone call from someone conducting a poll. They know who you are or they wouldn’t have your number. Most people don’t like the thought of being threatened by an unhinged mob while out for dinner with their family because they told some prog asshole they are voting for Trump and their information got ‘leaked’.

  40. wdalasio

    America Punished Elizabeth Warren for Her Competence

    Here’s my take on these sorts of claims. It’s a way for a certain kind of person, usually one who wildly over-inflated view of their own knowledge and intelligence, to rationalize that people really aren’t buying their presumptions. I’ve yet to see much evidence that Elizabeth Warren is particularly competent at much beyond thinking up ways to screw over people she doesn’t like (see the CFPB). She’s, at most, a middling academic with credentials she basically cheated her way into. She gained the favor of various Democratic patrons by providing an academic veneer to the policies they wanted to enact anyway. Both Warren and people who make claims like this want to conflate the status of their credentials with some claim of particular merit.

    • C. Anacreon

      Overall, pretty fair, to middling….

    • Urthona

      That’s the Voxiest Vox article that ever Voxed.

      • Hyperion

        Sadbeard could have written that.

    • Hyperion

      “America Punished Elizabeth Warren for Her Competence”

      Yeah, of course, and misogyny, don’t forget that. I mean it couldn’t be that no one likes her or her policies or anything like that.

    • Viking1865

      A huge part of the leftist worldview is the belief/propaganda that leftism is scientific, pragmatic, evidence based. It’s not their ideology, they “trust the experts” and “trust science” and “reality has a liberal bias”. Warren was just the latest standard bearer of that. She was a trained expert who was gonna get all the best experts in a room and use their expertise to plan society to be better.

      • Hyperion

        “leftism is scientific, pragmatic, evidence based”

        If they start loving science anymore than they already do, we’re headed for a new Dark Age.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        “leftism is scientific, pragmatic, evidence based”
        until the A/C goes down, then it’s Capitalism to the Rescue!
        /Morons

      • Heroic Mulatto

        HVAC kills Mother Gaia.

      • Tres Cool

        thats why everyone is forced to use R-410a. Gaia thrives on it. R-22 makes her….gassy.

      • Jarflax

        Odd how we dicovered this right after the patent expired

      • Rhywun

        With a thick veneer of identity BS laid over it.

      • Suthenboy

        I never really thought of 9 year old trannies as experts.

    • Hyperion

      Like this:

      Dark Matter Solved!

      We still don’t know what the fuck it is, but that was a good headline, lots of clicks you know.

    • Spudalicious

      Keep letting that stuff out, buddy. And I’m glad to see that you are finding pleasure in life.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        to be blunt, She’s dead, I’m not, but how can one forget 32 years together?
        Thanks Spud, you have been a great help

  41. Q Continuum

    Ahegao is one of the stupidest fetishes ever.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      It was hot before it became the new duck lips.

    • Aus

      I see the word on twitter, but I don’t even know what it is.. *checks urban dictionary*

      “Ahegao The anime/manga version of an orgasmic facial expression. It’s generally very sexualized and lewd, and may or may not be accompanied with heart eyes/pupil”

      Ok, I still don’t know what it is. Like the “Oh! Face”, but for an anime character?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Like the “Oh! Face”, but for an anime character?

        Exactly. But then cosplayers started doing it, and then Instagram thots copied them.

      • Not Adahn

        And then cons banned T-shirts with the faces on them. JUST the faces.

  42. Spudalicious

    Given how Trump is still Trump in a town hall, I don’t see how a Dem can beat this guy. I will have to be careful to keep the debate liver damage to a minimum.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      So your Steven Green, the Vodkapundit?

    • Hyperion

      It’s not that a dem can’t beat Trump. It’s just that one who might is not a candidate.

      They’d better be planning how they will deal with Trump being president for 4 more years. But judging form the past 4 years, I don’t think any planning is going to happen and the doing part is not going to go well for them, once again.

  43. Tres Cool

    Ya know, if it wasnt evident enough, Ill go ahead and say it- Im a moron. However, when I managed a small engineering office, I was diligent about backups of everything- daily, and on some machines, hourly. And this was in the tape-drive and ZIP-drive days. Are these people just not making reliable backups ?

    Ransomware Attacks Prompt Tough Question for Local Officials: To Pay or Not to Pay?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      One word Tres, Complacency,
      Tall Cans!

      • Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS!

        Im on……(checks)….#8 of small-cans
        But I have a light day tomorrow. And allegedly, snow here despite it being nearly 60º today.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m rolling small as well, #8 Ha! me too! and it hit 85 today, I know it’s AZ, but it got warm today,

    • Mojeaux

      My husband could’ve gotten them back up and running in no time for $50,000.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I could do it for 20k, I’m cheap…

    • Mojeaux

      Mr. Mojeaux is paranoid about shit getting into our computers. He deals with the firewalls and malware blockers.

      I’m paranoid about losing my stuff. I deal with backups. I have:

      1. normal hard drive
      2. external hard drive
      3. personal cloud server
      4. Carbonite
      5. various USB sticks

      But because all these things are weirdo things, I use Synctoy to mirror. What I CAN’T figure out how to do is make Scheduler run Synctoy so I end up doing it manually (Carbonite runs itself).

      • Count Potato

        You have Han Solo frozen in your office?

      • Mojeaux

        Yes.

    • Rhywun

      Privacy is dead. Eventually people will have to realize this and adjust their expectations accordingly.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        That’s why I walk around with just a shirt on but no pants or underwear.

        Like Donald Duck.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Backups to “the cloud”. No idea how far to rollback to clean. Further the rollback, the more data loss.

      And of course the real answer, it’s not their money, they could give a fuck.

  44. Hyperion

    Really?

    Really? You mean if I burn off 3000 calories a day and consume 5000, I might gain weight?

    This is the sort of meaningless stupidity we’ve just come to expect these days. I lost 60 lbs. walking at least 5 miles a day. The thing is, I didn’t start eating 3 times as much at the same time.

    Don’t change your diet and walk a lot, you will not only lose weight, but you’ll feel a lot better.

    • Mojeaux

      I have heard ad nauseam: “You can’t out-exercise a bad diet.”

      I don’t believe this is true. I can be 100% low-carb and lose weight slowly, or I can eat what I want, walk every day and lose.

      • Jarflax

        If you eat more than you burn you gain. If you eat less than you burn you lose. Which side you change is up to you, although there are generally limits to how much you can increase your burn unless you have nothing to do except exercise.

      • Hyperion

        I’ve been able to walk/run up to around 10 miles a day while working 8 hours a day. But when I walk, I walk very fast, I’m not out strolling, but trying to get in as much distance as I can in the least amount of time. Still it does consume a lot of time. I mean you’re going to have to know you’re going to spend 1 or two hours a day for exercise if you want some real impact.

      • Hyperion

        It’s mostly down to calories burned vs calories consumed. Walking a lot also increases your metabolism so that you’re still consuming more calories even when you’re not moving about. It works, but of course you can always just eat more than you can possibly burn off, then no doubt you can’t lose it.

        When I lost all the weight, I was burning around 3000 calories a day and eating maybe 2000 at most. Then I gained 20 of it back by eating 2000 calories a day and only burning maybe a thousand, being a couch (desk) tater.

        The endorphins from walking/running is just too good to take too much time off from it.

    • Jarflax

      preventing weight gain, particularly with this population, will require more research

      “Research”, eat less move more is super hard to understand

      • Hyperion

        “preventing weight gain, particularly with this population, will require more research”

        Give us a magical pill! Dancing with the Stars is on!

        Pre-agriculture humans walked about 25-30 miles a day just to get enough to eat to survive, and there weren’t any bags of chips or Egg McMuffins on the Savannah.

  45. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Count Dankula’s Mad Lads series’ new one on Ross Ulbricht aka Dread Pirate Roberts:

    https://youtu.be/IdjUOtdSHxM

    • Rhywun

      No comment.

  46. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    Went to the local Costco here in Southwest Edmonton today.

    Eerily quiet. Surprisingly, most goods still on shelves, with the following exceptions: toilet paper, paper towels, disposable gloves, 99% isopropyl alcohol bottles, disinfectant of all kinds. All gone. Canned goods containing protein (animal or vegetable) were looking scarce but not quite gone yet. Still decent amounts of rice, quinoa, pasta, other shelf-stable starches. Frozen foods of all kinds still mostly in stock. Low supplies of things like batteries.

    Next couple of weeks are gonna be interesting — Edmonton, due to its location, is relatively isolated from viral vectors, and to date we haven’t had a single case of COVID-19.

    • Tundra

      Fuck. This is so retarded.

      Tomorrow is my Costco run, I will report back.

      • Hyperion

        Anyone else remember knowing lots of tards who bought their self a generator right before the Y2K apocalypse and then couldn’t give the thing away a month later? I remember that.

        I also remember telling the idiots that the world wasn’t ending, but they bought a book written by a know nothing charlatan, so you couldn’t tell them anything.

        For some reason, this Wuhan Virus thing reminds me a lot of that.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Anyone else remember knowing lots of tards who bought their self a generator right before the Y2K

        The thing is, we have an entire generation who doesn’t. Someone who was born in between their parents buying a generator can buy us all a round of drinks at the bar this year.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        On the last night of 1999, my wife and I drank champagne and partied with our friends, like we did every New Year’s Eve. When the clock rolled over into 2000 in the very first timezone, I remember briefly checking for any news of apocalypse. Bugger-all. So we went back to drinking and partying.

        The only negative impact of the Y2K B.S. was that my company’s clients insisted on us having Y2K insurance and our broker couldn’t find anyone who’d actually sell it to us. So I told the clients, “We’re happy to stop working until January 1st, 2000 if that’s what you want.” They eventually relented when they found out no-one would sell them Y2K insurance, either.