Wednesday Afternoon Links

by | Mar 25, 2020 | Daily Links | 466 comments

You know what’s better than having a car guy? A “retired” electrician who works for play money. Dude did all the work, put up with my six year old telling him random questions and was done in 3 hours. $65/hr plus $25 in materials. And its all right. He even drove a rod and grounded the pump. Something the last pump installer neglected in the lightning capital of the world. Some folks were asking me how my pump could pay for itself in 2 years. Here’s the deal: Old single speed pump drew 850W and ran for 8 hours a day at 3450 rpm. New variable speed pump draws 350W at 2400 rpm, and runs for 12 hours a day. So you used about 2/3rds the total kW/hrs. Moves the same amount of water.

We’ve also got the COVID-19 update. Positive tests up by 270, negative tests up by 2250. Ratio of positives is possibly starting to increase. Positives were 1100 and change Friday, so we’re up 50% in 5 days, but with rate increasing, so maybe 7 days to double. That would be closer to Korea than Italy.

Ugh. My local county has gone “stay at home”, although “non-essential” businesses are allowed to remain open. Of course, several authorities think their inferiors won’t do as they are told.

Whiskey webs used to fingerprint whiskeys. I’m certainly worried about all the counterfeit Jim Beam that’s probably circulating.

Another British Queen who isn’t gonna let coronavirus stop him.

Which one of you didn’t show up to comment this morning?

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

466 Comments

  1. Hyperion

    First, maybe, or close.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Is this day over yet?

      • Swiss Servator

        It is a good day to die!

        /Klingon

      • bacon-magic

        “Tawk-doooo!”
        Translation: Widens gaze

      • Hyperion

        Not yet. I have updates to push to production tonight at 8.

    • Chipwooder

      You know, I never noticed this before, but Digital Trophy Girl has a nice rack.

      • Tundra

        Trophy?

      • DEG

        How could you miss that?

  2. Tres Cool

    1st loser!

    • Hyperion

      See, Tres Cool was at the fridge getting a tall can when I used the ‘Hey woman, get me a beer!’ and hist ‘post comment’ tactic. Brilliant I am!

      Mrs. Hyperion: ‘You have to stop drinking, Mr Hyperion, you will die!’.

      Mr. Hyperion: ‘Then the virus cannot get me!’.

      • Swiss Servator

        *Waco Kid wakes up in cell, drinks entire bottle of whisky*

        Sheriff Bart – “A man drinks like that, he’s gonna die!”

        Waco Kid – (eagerly) “When?”

      • Tres Cool

        “little bastard shot me in the ass!”

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I have it on good authority that ethenol denatures the virus. Of course sclrollis of the liver is kind of a bummer. Eh…Win some, lose some.

      • Fourscore

        Watched my brother lose the battle. Not good…

  3. Spartacus

    I got a new variable speed pump about 3 months ago. It can also be programmed to run at different speeds at different times. Damn thing is so quiet that if it weren’t for water coming out the jets I wouldn’t know it was on.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      I just quoted ten fan coils, first RFQ in 12 days.

      It’s only related thus: noise is a function of pipe velocity (actually the pipes seldom go anywhere; it’s the water slinging around). So for office and residential work, I try to keep it below 4 FPS. The competition can go smaller and out (under-) bid me, so I need a contractor who trusts that I’m doing it the right way.

    • RAHeinlein

      Selfish jerk – that could have used to make a ventilator!

  4. The Late P Brooks

    If it saves one life

    Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks closed to visitors Tuesday, taking another step in the effort to limit the spread of the new coronavirus.

    The two parks announced the closure in a joint news release Tuesday morning.

    The closure shuts off visitor access to the parks. Roads that cross park and state boundaries will stay open, however, such as the stretch of U.S. Highway 191 between Big Sky and West Yellowstone that passes through the park.

    The move came two days after Montana Gov. Steve Bullock and local health officials from counties bordering Yellowstone urged the park to close to prevent the spread of COVID-19.

    The park is basically closed for the winter, anyway. the only road open is the road from Cooke City to Gardiner. But we want to be seen Doing Things to Protect the Public, I guess.

    • Tonio

      Where will I go for my pic-a-nic baskets?

      • Swiss Servator

        STEVE SMITH HAVE IDEA…

      • C. Anacreon

        I thought your park was named Jellystone?

      • pan fried wylie

        Yellowstone’s envious neighbor?

  5. Hyperion

    The Babylon Bee
    @TheBabylonBee
    ·
    3h
    Pants Sales Plummet As Everyone Working From Home

    Especially at Glibertarians, where pants sales were already lagging way behind the general population.

    • Grumbletarian

      This was after a sudden rise in the sale of pants as most everyone was shitting theirs for awhile.

      • Hyperion

        Well, Orange Badman is still POTUS, so I think pants manufacturers can at least count on shitty pants to boost sales for the time being.

      • Fourscore

        Pants sales sagging…?

      • pistoffnick

        Nice!

  6. bacon-magic

    I’m positive…that it’s boring working from home. I can’t wait til the Illinois Governor Prickster gets his orange jumpsuit.

    • Hyperion

      Not until you have to.

      Actually, none of my clients have closed their doors yet. I can go in, but I probably will not until I have to.

    • Chipwooder

      I fucking hate it. I can’t concentrate for shit at home, not only because of the kids fighting, and I end up eating all the damned time.

      • bacon-magic

        Yeah my month long food supply looks like 3 days now. Good thing all this fat will last the rest of the year.

      • Not Adahn

        You were mentioning ham yesterday? this is either the best or the second best one I’ve tried.

      • bacon-magic

        Thanks!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I’m eating better at home…the lone bright spot it seems. Even as an introvert I cannot get the hang of working from home all the time.

      • Chipwooder

        I haven’t weighed myself but I know I’ve gained back some of the weight I’d lost. Only question is how much.

      • Hyperion

        “Even as an introvert I cannot get the hang of working from home all the time.”

        It takes practice.

      • Tundra

        It’s a fuck ton more difficult with all these people here!!!

      • Enough About Palin

        I’m saving money. At work, I buy lunch everyday from wherever I like. Runs about $25+ per day. I cook now and at the risk of sounding like Johnny Hubris, I cook really, really well.

      • R C Dean

        I buy lunch everyday from wherever I like. Runs about $25+ per day

        Holy shit. Caviar-encrusted foie gras?

        Mrs. Dean makes my lunches, because she knows its far healthier than what I would get otherwise. We figured the cost once at around $2.00/day.

      • pan fried wylie

        I cooked vegetables this week. Far too uncommon.

        Chard & Chokes: chard, can of artichoke hearts, chop, oil/salt/pepper, heat till iz nice, squeeze of lemon)

        also, salting eggplant is for suckers who wanted to avoid eating it anyway. Roast eggplant cubes, sautee zuch slices, add the eggplant and some smaller tomatoes quarter’d, oil/butter/salt/pep/paprika, heat till iz nice.

      • Mojeaux

        not only because of the kids fighting

        I remember those days.

        Oh, wait. That was yesterday.

      • Hyperion

        I get a LOT more done at home. It’s quiet here compared to the office and I can focus a lot better.

      • Lady Zorg aka Babalu

        Same here. It’s amazing how much more work I get done without the boss around.

      • Chipwooder

        I am going to go out on a limb here and speculate that you don’t have a 9 year old and a 12 year old at home with you?

      • Hyperion

        I have both those age groups at home, but they’re the same person. I married her. She says I haven’t quite reached the maturity of a 9 year old yet. But man I’m working hard on it!

      • Mad Scientist

        Women are always saying that. It’s a shame they’re too immature to see the humor in fart jokes.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        We’re all living in the same room until tomorrow, and even with the toddler bugging me every few minutes, it’s still less distracting than the open office. I was damn productive today!

        Maybe if I had office space designed for productivity, the story might be different.

      • R C Dean

        the toddler bugging me every few minutes

        Allow me to suggest a solution.

  7. Chipwooder

    Well, I was entirely unsurprised that the three local CoronaCovid19SARSChinaWuhanCCPFlu deaths were all at this nursing home that I grew up across the street from. I remember seeing fleeing prisoners residents from that place and the guys in white coats searching for them, and an older kid I knew who worked there would tell horror stories about it.

  8. Count Potato

    ” He even drove a rod and grounded the pump.”

    Now, that is a euphemism.

    • Fourscore

      Intentional grounding, adds $50 to the bill

      • westernsloper

        Zing!

  9. The Other Kevin

    We’ll see how this “shelter in place” thing pans out. Mrs TOK goes to a small powerlifting gym that’s still open. Usually only 3-4 people are there at a time and everyone is expected to disinfect equipment before and after. The owner told the cops that go there and they said fine, but if someone orders him to close he’ll have to comply.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Yeah…here in VA, my gym was operating last week at “no more than 10 folks in at one time, only 6 AM – 7 PM” but Saturday she closed up for the next 2 weeks (not worth the hassle from Gov Blackface).

      I’m too lazy to try and make space to work out here inside while I’m packing to move and it’s still too wet/chilly for my traditional run outside. Hopefully next week when I start my new job I can work out in the base gym but I’m guessing it’ll be closed as well – at least there I can run outside at lunch time and not feel guilty.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      NewWife does her hour every day with her crew via web meeting.

      I think she misses the boxing the most; I don’t have any gloves, so her flow might be atrophying.

    • Atanarjuat

      Mrs TOK goes to a small powerlifting gym

      You chose wisely.

  10. westernsloper

    Some folks were asking me how my pump could pay for itself in 2 years. Here’s the deal: Old single speed pump drew 850W and ran for 8 hours a day at 3450 rpm. New variable speed pump draws 350W at 2400 rpm, and runs for 12 hours a day. So you used about 2/3rds the total kW/hrs. Moves the same amount of water.

    Are they doing any 12V pool pumps yet? It is my understanding that is where pumpage is going in the residential home world these days. (I am drawing a blank for what application I heard this was being applied. Floor heat maybe?)The way my non degreed engineer brain understands it is a DC motor uses a lot less energy than and AC motor, inverters are cheap these days and being built in. I imagine it would take multiple pumps to move big pool amounts of water though. I plan on plumbing my summer pool with one and hopefully a coleman propane camp shower heater if the economy doesn’t tank completely and I have to spend my time at the river catching trout to subsist.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      I don’t know the application, but the problem is delivering power: 12V requires a lot of amps. Let’s take the pump above and round for easy math: 360W/12V = 30A, and that’s before conversion inefficiencies. 30A is the biggest wire most houses have.

      I don’t know much about small stuff like this, but inverters and frequency drives are kissing cousins: both are infinitely cheaper than they were just a few years ago. So both solutions are getting more affordable.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, I am not thinking big 12V pumps because I know fuckall about such creatures, I am thinking multiple small pumps. Maybe even a small battery bank kept charged by even a normal charger, or even better solar like the RV’s use.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        nothing wrong with your theory

        ceteris paribus, smaller pumps are less efficient; if the pumps run in parallel on one header, you end up adding check valves, so that’s more head to overcome; and you’re paying for more parts and labor

        fun notion: this is self-load-leveling unless you’re the kind of guy who swims when the sun don’t shine

        I wrote here about maximum pipe velocity for noise. There’s probably a minimum pipe size for scum: you want to keep all the snot suspended and moving, I’d imagine, treatment chemicals notwithstanding. Min around 2FPS I’d guess . . . something to look up.

      • westernsloper

        I am no pool designer but I was thinking multiple pumps around the perimeter for water rotation/movement. No header. Pump straight lined to a couple jets. I imagine the pipe size probably depends on the size of the pool as far as scum removal goes. Who knows, I tend to think of shit I will never do after the first cocktail. It has led to some ideas that have worked out in time saving inventions in numerous situations over the years. But always self built or with the help of some machinist or welder in some third world country were we don’t speak the same language.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I don’t know a thing about it. I thought the pump was mostly for filtration.

      • westernsloper

        It sucks in through a filter and then shoots out the clean water to move/rotate for scum removal and is why it has to be such a large pump afaik. Disclaimer I don’t have a pool. Why not use multiple small pumps for water rotation and another small pump for filtration. Might be a dumb idea and use as much energy, but like I said it is a cocktail hour brain exercise.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I suspect it’s mostly about the filter: you’ve got to get so many turns per day.

        How you return it to the pool is a trivial load by comparison, I would guess. Averaging things out is just a nice side-benefit: you’d probably get all the benefit by simply pulling from the near side and discharging to the far end.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        I find that I need at least 1HP to properly run the skimming action of the weir. Lower settings are fine for turning over the water via the filter and adding chlorine from the Trichlor system, but I put the pump on a higher setting to skim the leaves, bugs etc out for 2 hours before I expect to use it.. usually say 1-3PM. I’m sure you could design a weir that works with a lower flow, but the standard ones want a certain rate.

        These newer digitally controlled variable speeds pumps are efficient.
        http://www.inyopools.com/Products/00200017074678.htm

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        The pipes in my fish tank say that the number may be much higher than that.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        No doubt: big difference between mammals splashing around in something and fish breathing something; you’re a critical case. What does the FDA say about this!?

        And your tubing and flow are tiny? Not like it’s a distracting noise anyway?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Mine’s nearly silent. The carbon dioxide bubbler is an order of magnitude louder than the pump, and it’s roughly equivalent to a recently opened soda bottle.

        115 gph (~0.03gps) filter with ~1″diameter hosing (~36cu in/ linear foot) or (~0.15 gal/linear foot) means I’m getting 0.2 FPS, give or take.

        My apologies, I was off by more than an order of magnitude on my guess of the pump’s flow rate. It explains why the pipes are so scummy after a while.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      move big pool amounts of water

      cheesy rule of thumb for water at STP: HP: GPM x head(ft) / 3000
      60GPM x 20FT / 3000 = 0.4HP that’s what I was guessing on stuff like this

      the pure number is 3960, but then you also need the pump efficiency: I just threw in 75% for quick and easy, but I have no idea what kind of shit China sells normal people in these situations

      I have no idea what the filter on those things requires; that’s probably half the load.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Brushless motors, We use them in some HVAC applications, far greater speed/ power control, and cheaper

      • westernsloper

        This could be the application I heard it was being used. Perhaps geothermal pumps.

  11. Drake

    Still shocked at the evilness of the Nevada Governor.

    • Chipwooder

      Did you see that the state’s health commissioner, who is the one who told the governor to bar doctors from prescribing that stuff, isn’t even licensed to practice medicine in the US?

      What the hell is going on out there, Pat, I mean what the everloving fuck?

  12. Tundra

    Hi Brett,

    My state just went to “shelter in place” for another 2 weeks. And as usual, no details at all about what are considered essential businesses.

    I made the mistake of going to the Red Star for details and the comments there were astonishing. People are really bad at math, economics and logic.

    Fuck it, I’ll buy.

      • RAHeinlein

        The Dems will try to extend these benefits as much as possible and want to tank employment numbers. I get the optics, but the Senators calling this out are correct. It’s absurd to have an unemployment benefit that exceeds your actual wage and will create a massive disincentive to work.

      • Tundra

        I agree. The whole damn thing shouldn’t happen, but that’s a pointless dream.

    • pistoffnick

      Yippee! I get a hall pass* from H.R. Suck it, Copper, I’m legal.

      * “essential transportation” exemption. We build luxury transportation SMDH

    • Fourscore

      Local Dollar Store, several people

      Grocery Store, a few (2-3 besides 3 of us)

      Hardware store, alone with my 2 helpers

      Normal Wednesday this time of year

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Fattening the curve.

      • Walford

        *widens gaze*

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Science me this

    “If the president decides to go 180 on us and open by Easter, that will create chaos and confusion. That is the prescription for a depression,” Mark Zandi, chief economist at Moody’s Analytics, told CNN Business.
    The goal of the health restrictions is to slow the outbreak, buying precious time to prevent the nation’s hospitals and doctors from becoming completely overwhelmed.
    “If people are panicked because hospitals are overflowing and loved ones are dying, the hit to the economy will be even worse than if we remain in lockdown,” said Zandi, who advised Republican presidential nominee John McCain in 2008. “It’s a massive gamble — and one without science on his side.”

    If the aliens attack while we’re distracted by the plague, we won’t stand a chance.

    • RAHeinlein

      I love how they are implying Zandi is a Republican.

    • Chipwooder

      …Zandi, who advised Republican presidential nominee John McCain in 2008.

      Yeah, that little blurb isn’t instilling me with any confidence in this guy.

      • TARDIS

        So it was this guy’s idea to pick Palin as a running mate?

    • Fatty Bolger

      Increased economic activity will cause a depression? Pull the other one.

    • The Other Kevin

      Obama-approved rapping skills LOL

    • Not Adahn

      I’m pretty sure that’s a porn genre

  14. The Late P Brooks

    “We’re at a Volcker moment,” said Joe Brusuelas, chief economist at RSM, referring to former Fed chief Paul Volcker’s painful decision in the late 1970 and early 1980s to put the United States into a recession to tame runaway inflation.
    “The federal government is slowing the economy down to try to terminate the virus. It’s a conscious policy choice,” Brusuelas said.

    Do they have editors at CNN?

  15. Hyperion

    “That would be closer to Korea than Italy.”

    For some reason, North Korea stats not showing up on any of the trackers.

    But fatal cases percentage in USA is about exactly the same as South Korea, and has been. Around 1.4% today. I think it we stay below 2% for another week or so, it’s a good sign. It’s bad, but not the apocalypse.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      “For some reason, North Korea stats…”

      Probably the same reason the PRC’s numbers have hardly budged in several weeks.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I have this feeling that those reasons are very related.

      • juris imprudent

        The coronavirus tried to attack the populace of North Korea, alas it died of starvation too.

  16. DEG

    As a further measure to curb the spread of coronavirus, the Pinellas County Commission on Wednesday unanimously directed the county’s nearly 1 million residents to stay at home except for essential activity like trips for groceries, medical needs and jobs deemed essential.

    Fuck.

  17. Animal

    So, our oldest daughter, who works in the ER, has come down with a fever, chills, and sweats. They had a patient that tested positive for Kung Flu. Her flu test came back negative. Her Kung Flu test should come back tomorrow. She’s young and healthy but has an auto-immune issue with her digestive tract, so that’s a complication.

    We’ll see.

    • Tundra

      Prayers, Animal.

    • DEG

      Best wishes.

    • Hyperion

      She’s also female, which apparently also improves her situation. Sounds like this thing is a lot worse for men, for some reason they don’t understand yet. Hope all is well, bro.

    • Mojeaux

      Prayers for her.

    • C. Anacreon

      All the best for your daughter, Animal.
      Is it Ulcerative Colitis/Crohn’s Disease that affects her GI tract?

      • Animal

        No, it’s something else, I can’t remember the name at the moment.

        I”m worried enough about this whole thing that I’ve started wearing protective gear.

      • Fourscore

        Good luck to the young Miss Animal and share your gear ifnecessary

      • westernsloper

        The Jackalope makes the room.
        Prayers for your daughter.

      • Rhywun

        N0

    • bacon-magic

      Hope for the best Animal.

    • Ozymandias

      My middle daughter found out she was exposed to a COVID+ patient last week. She works in a step-down unit. She’s quarantined until the 27th, I believe. As long as she remains asymptomatic, her work has said she can return.

      • Ozymandias

        And I hope there are no issues with your daughter, Animal.

      • Animal

        Same in return. It’s a weird time.

      • TARDIS

        Prayers and best wishes for you both.

    • Tonio

      Hoping for a good outcome.

    • RAHeinlein

      Sorry, Animal – hoping for the best.

    • Count Potato

      I hope she is OK.

    • Sean

      Prayers for a swift recovery.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Best wishes to your family

    • Spudalicious

      Fingers crossed, Animal.

  18. Tundra

    Have we heard anything from Florida Man? Is he still ‘trapped’ in Costa Rica?

    • Fourscore

      Yeah, I think he got back a few days ago, all was/is well, AFAIK

  19. Not Adahn

    Stuart Williams, a professor of mechanical engineering at the University of Louisville in Kentucky, noticed one day that if he diluted a drop of bourbon and let it evaporate under carefully controlled conditions,

    As one is wont to do. Oh wait, no that’s not actually what one does with bourbon.

    • Brett L

      Engineering profs and alcohol are miscible as alcohol and water.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I never worked with any UL product. Maybe just an outlier, but you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a useful MissSt or A&M guy.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I have to admit, that I am a EE and I had no idea that bourbon evaporated.

      Must take extremely controlled conditions in a lab? I’ve never seen it happen in the wild.

      • juris imprudent

        Waste of good bourbon – even for science.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    “One can’t help but think this is just a naked expression of the president’s own narrow electoral interests,” RSM’s Brusuelas said.

    But Brusuelas urged Trump to put the national interests ahead of his own political ambitions.
    “If you reopen the economy prior to the termination of the virus, you’re creating a better probability of second and third waves that shut the economy again,” he said. “The US is better off taking a one-time hit.”

    Bad Orange Man is bad.

    Only a monster would want people to be able to go back to work. Only a monster would want people to be able to resume some sort of normal life routine.

    • Hyperion

      The fact that these same people who have been freaking the fuck out over Trump for the past 4 years, still hope for anything, even a pandemic, to prevent Trump from remaining president, is surprising… not at all.

    • C. Anacreon

      Yesterday San Francisco Mayor London Breed also called Trump horrible for giving people hope that there could be an end day in sight for all this, even though that end date is still 18 days away, four days longer than the typical quarantine. I think many of the California Democrats would love to see this go on for years, unlimited power, and every single resident needing to beg just to go outside.

      Breed also said, “Why is anyone listening to the President at all? Just stop. He doesn’t believe in SCIENCE!”

      (btw Breed’s SCIENCE credentials are a BA in political SCIENCE from UC Davis, and a Masters’ in Public Administration (yes, there’s really such a thing) from the University of San Francisco, a small Jesuit school next to Golden Gate Park.)

      • Hyperion

        But if people go back to work, how can we save them with muh socialism!?

      • Enough About Palin

        “No man who owns his own house and lot can be a Communist. He has too much to do.” — William Levitt

      • Hyperion

        Did most people at TOS die of the virus and they had to close down? So that we’re getting the overflow?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Absolutely. This is the perfect storm for the tyrants.

        Fear allows them to impose any restriction their black heart can come up with. And by doling out money they are also setting themselves up as the “savior” of the masses.

        What’s not to love if you are a politician?

      • juris imprudent

        The bullet destined for your forehead.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Larf!

  21. Private Chipperbot

    I’ll bet my Trumpbucks that we see ‘grim milestone’ headlines when we get to 1,000 deaths.

    • Not Adahn

      No bet.

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m sure the articles are already written.

      • Tonio

        Newspapers used to pre-write celebrity obituaries so that all they’d have to do was put a couple of paragraphs at the top with the details of death and recent life. It kinda makes sense.

        I have a celebrity obit article ready to drop here when a beloved person (to me) dies. Although still active, his best days were decades ago.

    • DEG

      I saw similar verbiage in news stories in NH when the NH confirmed cases number went above 100, so no bet.

    • C. Anacreon

      Hansel and Gretel ground their wheat at the Grimm Millstone.

      • Fourscore

        3 million Americans left us last year, I missed a few funerals but not too many

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      My favorites are the grim statements about how the death toll rose again. The only way for the death toll to decline is if the victims are named Jesus.

      • Enough About Palin

        And even he was dead for three days.

  22. Count Potato

    “COVID-19 is a gendered crisis.

    Nurses, nurse aides, teachers, child carers and early-childhood educators, aged-care workers and cleaners are mostly women.

    They are on the frontline of this public health crisis and carry a disproportionate risk of being exposed to the virus.”

    https://twitter.com/MehreenFaruqi/status/1242713728048455680

    OFFS!

    • Hyperion

      My office is near a large hospital and I walk through there all of the time (until very recently) and I didn’t see any male healthcare workers there over the past 10 years. Nope, not even a one!

      And it’s killing men at about a 7 to 3 out of 10 ratio. Wiminz hardest hit, again.

      • Mad Scientist

        Those dead men are the husbands and sons and brothers of women, so the women are hardest hit.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I see we can’t use that in reverse. Hmm, I give up.

    • Hyperion

      This is just the latest example of what fucking low lifes every leftist leaning group are. They’re just taking it to a new low. Which is exactly what we would expect and they once again, prove it.

      • Tonio

        “Never let a crisis go to waste.” -Saul Alinsky

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      In other news: hurricane ravages East Coast, women and minorities impacted most.

      • Hyperion

        I just heard that a huge tsunami is headed for the West Coast, and the frogs have left the water. I’m starting to worry.

    • Grumbletarian

      Nurses, nurse aides, teachers, child carers and early-childhood educators, aged-care workers and cleaners are mostly women.

      Due no doubt to institutional misandry!

      Did I do that right?

      • TARDIS

        *(air) high five*

    • Shirley Knott

      Nice, thanks.

  23. DEG

    As of an hour ago, Sununu says no “stay-at-home” order in NH

    Gov. Chris Sununu rejected a direct plea from one executive councilor for New Hampshire to join the growing number of states whose leaders were shutting down non-essential businesses.

    During Wednesday’s Executive Council meeting conducted remotely, Sununu said he will monitor whether the outbreak calls for further restrictions, a day after Vermont Gov. Phil Scott had issued the stay-at-home order for his state.

    Sununu said the spread of the disease is more severe in Vermont.

    Also from the article, emphasis mine:

    In other matters, Sununu said he’s seriously considering an order that would put off the filing of state tax returns such as those who earn enough unearned income to pay NH’s 5 percent tax on interest and dividends.

    • Raven Nation

      I think the Nebraska governor made a similar statement in response to a media question in a recent press conference. He also made the point several times that Nebraska probably won’t be like NY because NE acted more promptly.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      aren’t all domestic ducks just mallards? kinda like a dog is just a wolf bred for deportment?

      • Mad Scientist
      • Don Escaped Texas

        proven: human company is expensive . . . . very expensive

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No, Mallards are an invasive species, that dominate other species males and take their women, I learned this just yesterday,
        Serious

      • Not Adahn

        No these are neither Mallards nor Muscovies, and that exhausts the extent of my duck knowledge.

      • Animal

        Mallards are native to North America and eastern Asia. They’ve been introduced all over.

        They’re right tasty, too.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Can confirm. Om-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM . . .

    • Animal

      It’s a domestic bird. Pretty sure it’s a Call Duck.

      • Not Adahn

        Makes sense, the video is Dutch.

      • pan fried wylie

        But, then I’d expect a Dutck.

        *duqs*

    • Hyperion

      LOL! Seriously, I’m… that is great!

  24. Hudson

    Fucking fuck.

    Idaho has now joined the cower-in-place club.

    • Tonio

      N00b?

      • Hudson

        Nah. Just longtime lurker. Was at TOS starting about 2008ish and here since the beginning pretty much.

      • Tres Cool

        Since nobody else has managed to…..

        FUCK OFF TULPA!

      • Hudson

        Better late than never I suppose.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Doods and Doodettes! Hudson’s been here forever (longer than me).

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Do none of you people PAY ATTENTION?!?

      • Mojeaux

        Huh? What’d you say?

        I was working.

        *waves at Rufus*

      • grrizzly

        I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you here before.

      • Gustave Lytton

        With a pic of his name from Aliens.

      • Hudson

        I lost the Aliens avatar during the avatar purge.

        I should probably go back to it since we’re all gonna die, man.

        Game over.

      • Mojeaux

        Fuck off, Tulpa!

        Welcome to the loony bin.

    • bacon-magic

      We all float down here.

      • Nephilium

        You’ll float too!

      • Shirley Knott

        We’re all floaters in the great toilet bowl of life.

      • pan fried wylie

        I dunno. Some people are more like the toilet brush. Dropins, at least.

    • Spudalicious

      Yep. Didn’t even need the gubmint to tell us too.

    • Chipwooder

      I have noticed that the same people who scoffed at the virus being a problem and said “Flu kills XX thousand people every year!” are largely among the most panicky people now.

  25. Enough About Palin

    Went into the office for about a half an hour this last Sunday. Downtown Minneapolis is really quite scary. And I say this a someone who used to do street-based outreach to homeless kids there at night. The only folks on the Nicollet Mall are very shady. They have always been there, but as my boss said, there’s no one else on the street to dilute their presence. Hopefully I won’t have to do that again for a while.

    • Tundra

      Yet another formerly great city gone to shit. Nice work, proggies!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Meh, Downtown Minneapolis still is way nicer than it used to be in the ’80s when Hennepin and Block E were going strong.

        Probably more fun back then though. I know it was quite the educational experience for a young rube from NW Minnesoda who shall go unnamed.

    • peachy rex

      Illinois’ shelter-in-place order really isn’t one… but it does thin out the normies enough to make the creeps a lot more noticeable.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well our brand new shelter in place restrictions don’t seem too draconian.

        And of course abortion clinics are being allowed to stay open…

        And while a few states have closed abortion clinics as “nonessential” services, Walz specifically mentioned clinics providing reproductive healthcare as essential services allowed to stay open.

        I’m pretty squishy on abortion, but if you are going to close nonessential businesses, those clinics should be included.

      • Enough About Palin

        WOMYNS’ HEALTH IS ESSENTIAL!!!!!1111!!!!1

      • Pope Jimbo

        We have 26 people in the hospital but we need to shut everything down because we are close to swamping the hospitals.

        WTF?

        Look at the map. There were 15 cases in all of Minnesoda north of the Twin Cities. 15 fucking cases and we need to shut down everything?

        All to protect Fourscore. Hope you’re happy.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, I just did the math on PA. We have on the order of 35000 hospital beds, and we have as of this moment low-1100 cases. Serious/critical average for the country is about 2.5% of confirmed cases. So we are on lock down because we ONLY HAVE a little over 1000 beds per potential patient.

        Damn, I think I may have shit my pants.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        I do IT for a hospital system in GA. Earlier this week our main hospital was at the lowest occupancy, I’ve ever heard. We are at level IV infection control and all non-emergent procedures, visits, diagnostics, etc., have been postponed.

      • RAHeinlein

        From the article, it appears that all clinics are considered essential.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I have a hard time making it all the way through those articles without rage quitting. And I didn’t see his remarks directly. Maybe the reporter spun his comments to make him extra proggie in the quote above.

        I just saw the line about him specifically calling out clinics that provide reproductive health services as essential and rolled my eyes. They just can’t leave it alone. (to be fair, I’d roll my eyes just as hard at gov’s who use shutdowns to specifically close abortion clinics too).

        Like I said, I’m squishy on abortion and it would be nice if there was one thing that ever happened and both sides didn’t use it to push their own views on their hobby horse.

      • RAHeinlein

        That wasn’t a challenge – apologies if my response came across that way. I was curious whether they specifically allowed abortion clinics to stay open while closing other medical services.

      • Pope Jimbo

        No worries. Your comment actually gave me a little hope that the order just referred to clinics as essential and the reporter was the guilty party.

        We’re cool.

        Let’s get back to jumping in Hudson. Fuck that Tulpa!

      • Hudson

        *scurries away*

      • pan fried wylie

        As a counterpoint, an abortion isn’t something that can just be done 6months from now.

      • juris imprudent

        PASTRIARCHAL OPPRESSION!

        [that was a typo I started to correct and then decided I like the neologism.]

      • C. Anacreon

        Just read a health care industry dispatch today that ERs in hundreds of hospitals across the country are seeing record low numbers of patients and are thinking of cutting staffing temporarily. But of course, Heartthrob Governor Cuomo of New York can demand 30,000 ventilators, and unless Trump gets them to him yesterday, he’s personally killing thousands of people!

      • westernsloper

        I heard that on the radio news this morning. Doc interviewed said they have never seen this low of traffic in the ER’s. No more ER visits for a stuffy nose.

  26. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Random virus musing of the day:

    I suspect there will be an unusual number of Christmas an Christmas-adjacent births this year.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Those drugs already fell out………

    • Private Chipperbot

      Counterpoint: all the damn kids are home so parents can’t get it on.

      • Tundra

        Incorrect.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ^this, old and devious……..

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Tundra is correct. As the Mexican birthrate would asttest, shared space is not a significant impediment to baby making.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Furtive gopher sex for the win!
        (Hey, don’t laugh — the spousal unit and I have practised FGS in many a situation where the horny has overridden common sense and fear of discovery.)

      • westernsloper

        Or double wrapping. Watch for a run on spermicides.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        So you are saying that the next round of supermarket fisticuffs captured on cell phone is going to happen in the family planning aisle over digaphrams and Jimmy hats?

        Nice. I need to pick up some popcorn.

      • Hyperion

        You whippersnappers. Here’s how we did it. You see, we either locked the kids out of the house, or locked them in the broom closet. Geez, you kids can’t figure anything out on your own.

      • Fourscore

        Vaseline on the outside bedroom door knob. Generational trick

      • pan fried wylie

        So you have to stand in the hallway to get it up your butt? I don’t see how that applies.

      • Fourscore

        Kid(s) hands slip off the door knob

        You guys need to learn new old tricks

      • Not Adahn

        Plus, the kids will learn to associate sex with vaseline!

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        +1 mommy’s just praying, go back outside and play!

      • Hyperion

        Mommy, are you OK?

        Yes, dear, I just had a cramp in my leg. Go back outside to play.

      • Tonio

        The Irish have managed to do so forever.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The most powerful aphrodisiac in the world is having all your kids down for a nap at the same time.

    • Hyperion

      Well, since Capricorns are the best peoples, it should be that way.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Totes!

    • Drake

      Kids born to freshly divorced moms.

  27. Suthenboy

    Just checking in. Looked at the links….good grief, how do you get into a dispute at the grocery store?
    The guy is a loon.

    • Hyperion

      Someone was squeezin his Charmin?

    • Don Escaped Texas

      man, if you can get through the day without someone taking a dump in an aisle, it’s a good day

      / grocer’s son

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I’m pretty sure he’s looking at federal charges as well for evening thinking about a gun while within 100 miles of a post office, but I could be off since I don’t have that particular code memorized

      • Don Escaped Texas

        last I know of: No guns on post office property, says U.S. appeals court

        A federal appeals court said a U.S. Postal Service regulation banning firearms on postal property is constitutional, and reversed a lower court ruling that would have let people keep weapons inside their vehicles in post office parking lots.

        Circuit Judge David Ebel said the right to carry firearms does not apply to federal buildings such as post offices, and that while it was a “closer question” he would not second-guess the Postal Service’s extending the ban to its parking lots.

        fuck yo permit

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Reagan appointee, product of Ann Arbor

      • Suthenboy

        “…the right to carry firearms does not apply to federal buildings…”

        One shortfall of our constitution is that they forgot to include the ability to read in the requirements for various offices.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Now do free speech on government property…

  28. Walford

    Who is John Galt?

    • Mad Scientist

      I know. I know who is John Galt. He’s a guy who really really likes the sound of his own voice.

      • bacon-magic

        He’s a character with the longest speech ever in a book.

      • bacon-magic

        Or was that Reardon? Oh well. *sizzles off

      • Mojeaux

        No! Rearden’s the awesome one. Galt can go pound sand.

      • TARDIS

        Dammit! My staycation has been cancelled by some commissioner in Podunk County. I was going to shelter in place along a nice peaceful river. No offer of refund from VRBO either.

      • TARDIS

        Oops, sorry Mojo. Operator error.

      • Mojeaux

        63 pages, I believe.

        Evergreen opinion: The Fountainhead is the better book of the two.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yep

      • bacon-magic

        *falls asleep again thinking about it

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I concur. The Foutianhead had characters that were more than ideology delivery mechanisms and self inserts.

      • Mojeaux

        Rearden was the only character in AS that had any depth.

      • Walford

        But Ragnar Danneskjöld got shit done.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Ragnar Danneskjöld… hmm. I wonder if the world is ready for an Atlas Shrugged expanded universe ala Star Wars?

        The exploits of Ragnar could be an interesting read.

      • C. Anacreon

        I wouldn’t have minded a Scotch-fueled raging overnight with Dagny, though.

      • Mojeaux

        Hey, look. The action between Rearden and Dagny before she got stupid was nothing to sneeze at.

      • robc

        Anthem was better than either.

        I struggled with The Fountainhead. I prefer AS.

      • Mojeaux

        Anthem was better than either.

        Absolutely correct.

        I struggled with The Fountainhead too the first time. I read it before AS and then preferred AS. Then because reasons I read The Fountainhead again and that time it stuck.

    • Tonio

      “That’s a stunning combination of the “didn’t happen” genre, and the “woke Olympics” genre.”

      OK, which one of you is that?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I mean, it is:

      My friend in Denver was just released from the hospital with COVID. I have another friend in NYC who is on life support with COVID.One is 45, the other 44.They both have children.White people decided that they loved white supremacy more than life itself.Hence, THIS.— saira rao (@sairasameerarao) March 24, 2020

      • B.P.

        Saira Rao. Ran for congress in Denver. She’s a member of that duo that charges white people $2.5K for a dinner to talk about white supremacy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m still waiting on a virus that only kills SJWs

      • one true athena

        Yeah she’s the grifter that does those “pay me 2500 dollars so I can tell you what a racist you are” dinners.

        So I’m surprised she has two friends, but not at all shocked she had to toss in ‘white supremacy’.

      • The Hyperbole

        If she’s giving people what they want/pay for it’s not grift.

      • B.P.

        Helps whip up hysteria about white supremacy; charges gullible people $2.5K for indulgences. It’s certainly grift-esque.

      • Not Adahn

        I’ve got a vial of holy water that had a sliver of the True Cross soaked in it. If you drink it, all your sins will be forgiven. $5k.

      • The Hyperbole

        Fair enough, I don’t know what she actually promises these people. If she is engaging in fraud (selling snake oil), okay that’s grift. If she’s just charging a lot of money to lecture/harangue people that want to be lectured and harangued at then ‘meh’. And I don’t think that the lecture can be considered snake oil, the lecture is exactly what she claims it is, holy water that had a sliver of the True Cross soaked in it is not.

      • Not Adahn

        I think there is a difference between being someone with a humiliation fetish and someone convinced that they are morally inferior. A dominatrix is an honest profession, expiating White Privilege is not.

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s a fine line and I could be convinced that I’m wrong, but I see a difference between selling someone a magnetic copper infused bracelet that might help their golf game and selling those same duffers a lecture series on ‘mindfulness’ that might help their golf game. And honestly if the magnetic copper infused bracelet really is a magnetic copper infused bracelet than that’s not really grift either. In my mind a grift should involve some deception, the reason the bracelet is usually grift is the spiel part where they push you over when you aren’t wearing the bracelet and then pretend they can’t push you over when you are. It’s the difference between giving a carnival tent tarot reading where you’re peddling bullshit and cold readings, and the contrived seance where you have accomplices in the crowd and rigged up effects to fool the mark.

      • pan fried wylie

        holy water that had a sliver of the True Cross soaked in it is not

        Let’s assume it was. The claim is that it will absolve him of all his sins, how can the fraudulence of that claim be assessed?

      • The Hyperbole

        how can the fraudulence of that claim be assessed?

        It can’t that’s why the fraud must be some decption involvong the actual product or as I mention above some chicanery where they have some ‘gimp’ in the audience take a swig an then miraculously dance a jig ala the Mac and Jack wonder potion.

      • Seguin

        Depends…what’s your take on the old Catholic practice of indulgences. Afaict, this is about the same.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        ^This.

        I wonder if we are seeing something akin to The Reformation, only it is the church of secularism that being being called out for its excesses by dissidents.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        being being… boing boing.

        *facepalm*

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Never enough

    The Senate’s $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill may be the largest rescue package in U.S. history, but it doesn’t provide nearly enough for New York state, Gov. Andrew Cuomo said Wednesday.

    The bill, tentatively approved early Wednesday, “would really be terrible for the state of New York,” Cuomo said at his daily briefing in Albany.

    Cuomo’s criticism came as White House officials made clear that President Donald Trump plans to sign the massive relief bill into law as soon as Congress sends it to him.

    Cuomo said the bill provides $3.8 billion for New York State, of which only $1.3 billion will be sent to New York City.

    “Sounds like a lot of money,” Cuomo said. But it’s far below the shortfall in revenue that the state projects it will face, which the governor said could total $15 billion.

    “That is a drop in the bucket” compared with what New Yorkers need, he said. “How do you plug a $15 billion hole with $3.8 billion? You don’t.”

    That won’t even keep the Museum of Modern Art open.

    Where did that “shortfall in revenue” come from?

    • kinnath

      My wife and I are above the cut off (humblebrag?) so no Trump bucks in the kinnath household.

      • Drake

        We were then, not now.

        *Sad trombone

    • westernsloper

      The revenue got on a plane and went to FL.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Cuomo said the bill provides $3.8 billion for New York State, of which only $1.3 billion will be sent to New York City.

      Wow, that’s enough to give every New Yorker a billion dollars!

    • Drake

      How do you plug a $15 billion hole

      “Stop digging” would be step one.

      • Atanarjuat

        STEVE SMITH HAVE IDEA

      • peachy rex

        I’m not sure that all this whining and special pleading on behalf of New York City will play the way they hope in the rest of the country.

      • C. Anacreon

        No, and if they start getting the idea that just because Cuomo is a heartthrob for NYers right now, that he should be on the national ticket, well, let’s just say that kind of shtick usually doesn’t play well west of the Hudson, and besides, they’ve already got NY’s electoral college votes in the bag.

  30. Count Potato

    “The LameStream Media is the dominant force in trying to get me to keep our Country closed as long as possible in the hope that it will be detrimental to my election success. The real people want to get back to work ASAP. We will be stronger than ever before!”

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1242905328209080331

    • AlmightyJB

      I hope it happens soon. This is ridiculas.

  31. Mojeaux

    My husband informs me that things he does not want to hear me say include:

    “I need a 3-incher.”

    • Don Escaped Texas

      in Florida I’m told they measure a fish between the eyes IFYKWIM

    • Mad Scientist

      You can always just ask him to do you twice.

    • Drake

      He doesn’t want to exceed your expectations?

    • leon

      No one needs more than 27 millimeters

      • pan fried wylie

        Give em 27mm and they’ll take 1.609km, I mean, ammirite?!

      • leon

        I larfed

    • Pope Jimbo

      Well it is difficult for a husband when his wife puts such unrealistic expectations on him. Stop stub shaming him! Do you really want to push him into becoming a shorty acceptance activist?

      At least that is what my friend tells me.

      • Mojeaux

        We’re not talking about penis math here.

        “No, honey, that’s EIGHT inches. […] Now, don’t go getting out the tape measure. Don’t you trust me?”

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m not bragging or anything, but when I do penis math, always use a pen because I don’t make mistakes.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        It always depends one where you measure from.

      • westernsloper

        I use the “stern of the taint” method.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        You’re strict. I prefer to stand next to a wall and measure from there.

      • westernsloper

        Cheeks flexed or relaxed?

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Flexed, of course.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        I just figure it’s “how far can I bury it and still have her squealing with pleasure.”

      • pan fried wylie

        aka “Ballparking”

      • Seguin

        I use the “swap the label with the metric tape measure” method.

    • juris imprudent

      Reminds me of the Ron White bit about his penis isn’t long, but the girth is massive “it’s like a cheesewheel down there”.

      • Spudalicious

        Hung like a tuna can. AKA, “pussy puncher”.

      • Mojeaux

        To be honest, one that’s too long can hurt. Cervices don’t like battering rams.

        Too skinny– Pound sand.

        Too fat– We can work with that. Pass the lube.

        Too short? Well…depends on how fat or skinny.

      • pan fried wylie

        Fair enough, now let’s talk about what I find acceptable in labia.

        Alright, you got me, the answer is “wasn’t previously a scrotum”.

        But, no, men are the ones doing all the objectifying, right?

    • DEG

      That’s off. It has MA with a stay at home order and no non-essential business closure. It’s the other way around: There is no stay-at-home order and non-essential (defined by the government of course) businesses are closed. NH’s public gathering limit is now 10, but only for scheduled gatherings.

      • Hyperion

        I noticed yesterday when I was out, that there were more than the usual amount of cops driving very slowly around the neighborhood.

        There is no stay at home order, but I’m more than a little worried that cops are going to use this to hassle people who would otherwise be left alone.

      • Raven Nation

        “there were more than the usual amount of cops driving very slowly around the neighborhood. ”

        New Zealand cops say hold my beer.

        “When asked how police would enforce the rules and make sure those out and about were out for a good reason, he said police officers may follow you.”

      • Hyperion

        “he said police officers may follow you.”

        What is not good about those good quotas!?

    • westernsloper

      Thanks, I was wondering too.

    • DEG

      Doesn’t matter, had sex.

      • Hyperion

        A dude that ugly should thank the invisible sky gods for getting laid and just forget about getting pee napkin on him. Then again, we haven’t seen her yet.

      • Tres Cool

        Wasnt this guy.

    • Enough About Palin

      If I ever form a band again, without a doubt I’m naming it “Pee Napkins”.

      • pan fried wylie

        Wee Herman and The Pee Napkins

      • Hyperion

        Best band name since Pauline and the Soup Bean Boys.

      • pan fried wylie

        Pinto Pauline.

        Fuck, they weren’t even trying.

      • C. Anacreon

        Lamestream Media and the Pee Napkins

      • pan fried wylie

        meh. we also rejected AlexinCT’s suggestion of DNC Operatives With Bylines and the Pee Napkins

      • C. Anacreon

        Never cross the ‘Streams.

      • pan fried wylie

        yes, their 2nd album, what’s your point?

    • Winston

      HAHAHAHA

      I’m it’s not like advocates of single-use plastics pointed out that reusable bags are vectors for disease.

      • Nephilium

        Just got the announcement from Giant Eagle that they’re doing the same. And this is after they sent out their big e-mail about how they were committed to getting rid of single use plastic bags at the beginning of the year.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or single use cups, utensils, and condiment packets….

  32. Winston

    So the Coronavirus has revealed that the Dems want to go full communist and very willingly to eviscerate civil liberties. They are mad that Trump isn’t nationalizing and banning everything despite calling him a tyrant. Let that sink in…

    • leon

      That are options are all at Trump or worse?

      • Winston

        Sorry could you rephrase that?

      • leon

        That we are in a bad place where all our options are Trump “King of Debt” or worse.

      • Winston

        Yes, that it was I’m saying. And I’m not sure the rest of the world is in a better place…

    • Winston

      Also Trump seems to want this to be over sooner than later. Whether or not this is due to business experience or because he fears a long shutdown will hurt his re-election chances or both I can’t say. I mean the guy is no libertarian but he seems to more libertarian in this instance than his opponents. Think about that…

    • Hyperion

      “So the Coronavirus has revealed that the Dems want to go full communist and”

      And they’ll be overjoyed when they get there, until they unexpectedly find their back up against a wall with their shocked faces.

    • Suthenboy

      “…the Coronavirus has revealed that the Dems want to go full communist and very willingly to eviscerate civil liberties.”

      No it didnt. The mask has been off for a long time. Their party’s platform has been identical to the policies of the USSR since little George was president.

      • Gustave Lytton

        RIP Larry McDonald.

    • juris imprudent

      They really are that dedicated to instituting TOP.MAN rule that they will keep pushing power to the presidency even while Trump sits in the White House. Yes, they ARE that devoted to their ideology.

  33. Mojeaux

    Marxist screed formatted and sent off to client for approval.

    Next up: How the prosecution of George Zimmerman fucked up but good.

    • Not Adahn

      Same client?

      • Mojeaux

        Nope.

      • C. Anacreon

        Wasn’t he the guy who owned the Mens’ Wearhouse and always said “I guarantee it”?

      • Tres Cool

        No, that was “Hair Club for Men” dude

  34. commodious spittoon

    I was so hungry I broke out the crackers and Vegemite.

    I’m no longer hungry.

    • Mojeaux

      Yes, but did you eat any of it before you decided you weren’t hungry?

      • commodious spittoon

        I’m still eating it, tbh.

      • Shirley Knott

        I think you have to have Dwarf bread for the full effect.

  35. westernsloper

    In non plague related good news, my 80% lower, jig, and tools arrived today. Not sure I should advertise that since I am in awe such things are legal in this day and age.

    • Mad Scientist

      If the router you’re doing the mill work with doesn’t have a “soft start” option, seriously think about replacing it.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Somebody oughta make an inline soft start for low-voltage stuff that you just plug into the wall or your extension chord.

        Or maybe homegrow one with a capacitor?

        If that’s cheaper than a new router, then you’ve got the toy forever for everything.

        just spitballing

      • westernsloper

        I was planning on using my small Bosch. It is variable speed. I am not sure what soft start is.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Basically an inrush limiter

      • westernsloper

        I mean, I know what soft start is, I have just never seen that on a router. The ones I have go from silent to screaming when you turn them on. TI have never ran the bosch at anything but highest setting.

      • Tundra

        My Bosch router has soft start. And it’s probably 15 years old or older.

      • Hyperion

        “Bosch”

        Tool Elitist!

      • Tundra

        Please.

        Festool? Yes.

        Fein? Probably.

        Bosch? Not elite. But good stuff you can buy at Menards.

      • Hyperion

        You’re too good to use the Craftsman! Elitist!

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Bosch ROCKS.
        (All my electric hand tools that I expect to see heavy use are Bosch. The others are just “whatever is cheapest and will do the task at hand.”)

      • Hyperion

        “Bosch ROCKS.”

        I have a lot of Bosch tools. They’re solid.

      • westernsloper

        Oh sure, look at this guy with the new tools.

      • pan fried wylie

        Some of us weren’t lucky enough to have a father to inherit their tools from.

        #DecentParentPrivilege

      • westernsloper

        lol…..my Dad was the cheapest going when buying tools. Black and Decker stuff that won’t sell at a yard sale. All my stuff I bought back in a former life when I actually used it to make a living.

      • Mojeaux

        When I talk about my tools, assume corded. I don’t do cordless.

        Inherited tools:

        1 Craftsman drill older than I am that has torque that could pull a 5th wheel

        1 circular saw with weird size blades whose cord has been sawn and taped twice–once by my dad and once by me. Still works, but it’s now too heavy for my rotator cuffs. It too is 50+ years old.

        Bought off Craigslist:

        1 old Craftsman router with bits aplenty

        1 old Craftsman belt sander

        Bought new:

        cheap B&D palm sander that’s 20+ years old

        cheap Craftsman palm sander that’s 3 years old and already replaced once

        cheap Porter Cable air compressor and nailer

        cheap Harbor Freight tack nailer

        not-cheap framing nailer whose brand I can’t remember

        cheap Craftsman circular saw my husband got for me when he saw me struggling with my old saw

        I DID have an old Craftsman table saw, but the reason I got it didn’t materialize so I sold it.

      • Enough About Palin

        Lots and lots of foreplay.

      • Mad Scientist

        A “silent-to-screaming” router is going to have some kick when it fires up, especially if you have to take one hand off the handle to switch it on. Since you’ll be milling in a fairly confined space, it’s easy for that kick to cause the mill head to contact something you didn’t want it to. The “soft start” will make this much less likely.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, that is the same as running any router jig, be it doors or whatever. You turn it on and then enter the jig. I assumed this would be the same. I guess I should watch the video.

    • LCDR_Fish

      My buddy helped me out with mine last week after his tools came in. He’s really psyched too. Hopefully I’ll work on the build later this summer after things clear up.

  36. kinnath

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2020/03/25/coronavirus-patients-do-not-resucitate/

    Hospitals on the front lines of the pandemic are engaged in a heated private debate over a calculation few have encountered in their lifetimes — how to weigh the “save at all costs” approach to resuscitating a dying patient against the real danger of exposing doctors and nurses to the contagion of coronavirus.

    The conversations are driven by the realization that the risk to staff amid dwindling stores of protective equipment — such as masks, gowns and gloves — may be too great to justify the conventional response when a patient “codes,” and their heart or breathing stops.

    Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago has been discussing a universal do-not-resuscitate policy for infected patients, regardless of the wishes of the patient or their family members — a wrenching decision to prioritize the lives of the many over the one.

    Here we are folks. Death Panels.

    • Hyperion

      Well, I guess since we’re just going to let everyone die, we can get back to work now. Party!

    • Hyperion

      On a more serious note, it’s obviously why the death rate is so much higher for Italy. Why are so many dying? Because you’re letting them!

      • Suthenboy

        Italy has single payer and it is beyond abysmal. I know three people who went there and needed care and in all three cases they were unable to get any care at all due to lack of supplies and personnel. Apparently they have lots of bean counters and very few doctors or nurses.

      • commodious spittoon

        Sounds like what I’ve heard about Cuba’s world-class hospitals.

      • Hyperion

        Didn’t they cure cancer years ago? I guess we can ask Obama about that.

      • pan fried wylie

        I know wishing cancer on people is gauche, but I just want Obama to get it so he has to explain why he’s not going to Cuba for treatment.

      • Tres Cool

        Don’t ex-presidents get to cut in line at Bethesda or better ?

  37. Winston

    Coronavirus also reminds me despite all the blatherings about science, reason, logic, the law, civilization, civil liberties, constitutions, modernity, norms, etc. humans can get scared pretty easily and will want TOP MEN to save them or at least let TOP MEN tell them what do if frightened.

    And you never know where some serious crisis can pop up which the statists will exploit and ruin the impending Libertarian Moment…

    • Heroic Mulatto

      That why you try to set up a society in which men have as little power as possible over other men, and you make it very difficult to increase that power.

      • The Hyperbole

        SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOURSOLUTIONDOESN’TIMMEDIATELYBRINGABOUTLIBERTOPIATARD

  38. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    Just made a food store run to the local Safeway, at the behest of the spousal unit. Even though this particular store is under renovation, pretty much everything’s back to normal except the fresh meat counter (they’re still in the process of re-building it). There was virtually no sign of the panic buying of a week ago. They even have the better part of an entire aisle of TP!  ;-)
    And they finally started baking their awesome Hot Cross Buns for Easter (around here, Safeway HCB’s are damn near legendary). Mmmmmmmm, hot cross bunnies . . .

    • Not Adahn

      What you get when you pour coffee down a rabbit hole?

      • Hyperion

        Coffee stained bunnies?

      • C. Anacreon

        One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns.

    • Hyperion

      You’re more braver than me. I’m going to make my big hoarding run around 9am on Friday, about 30 miles from the city. If I’m not successful, I’ll report and let ya’ll know that we’re all fucked.

  39. Hyperion

    So, you know, folks. This virus is soooo deadly that living in the first world has nothing to do with the death rate of those infected.

    Which is why the death rate per infected in Zimbabwe, Sudan, And Gambia is around 34% while in the USA it’s 1.4% as of today. Science, you deniers!

    • AlmightyJB

      I’m going to say since testing is just getting started and many if not most people who have it don’t ever have symptoms, even that 1.4% is way higher than reality.

      • Hyperion

        “1.4% is way higher than reality.”

        Of course it is. It doesn’t take scientist to figure that out. But it goes against the narrative.

        Who is the fucking genius who thinks the numbers of tested matches the numbers of actual infected? We could all have it by now and they wouldn’t have a clue.

        I think it’s more deadly than the actual flu, but the mortality rate will be well below 1%.

        It sort of pisses me off they’re comparing this with the Spanish Flu, one of the if not the deadliest viruses in history. I’m not even sure how they’ve explained how it was so deadly, but at that time, most of our species were still isolated from each other almost all of the time. That situation has not been true for a very long time.

  40. Nephilium

    Well damn people. First toilet paper, then flour and yeast, and now crowlers are out of stock.

    • Hyperion

      We can’t possibly survive a week without those, it’s all over.

    • westernsloper

      End times.

    • kinnath

      One of the local brew pubs sent a plea out to the homebrew community for clean, unlabeled 12 oz beer bottles, because they are out of crowlers.

      • Nephilium

        One of the local bars has been offering to fill anything resealable at the price of a growler fill ($5 “domestic”/$15 craft).

      • LCDR_Fish

        Nice…I’ll have to see if that’s happening around here.

      • Nephilium

        Most of the brewpubs were only offering new growlers (no refills, based on requests from the health department). Planning on ordering some fish and chips from this place Friday, and getting some growlers filled. I’ll be polite, and only bring my actual growlers. Showing up with a 5 gallon keg or a 6 gallon carboy seems like it would be a bit rude.

  41. Suthenboy

    Looks like the panic buying here has run its course. Everything is fully stocked in the local stores. Still, I am not putting my apocalypse guns back in the safe just yet.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I’d have to move the TP out of the safe if I wanted to put the guns back in.

    • Suthenboy

      Speaking of which….day before yesterday I was putting out food for bees and my neighbor came down the road on his 4-wheeler. He saw me and came up the drive to chit-chat for a bit. He was wearing a pistol. I was wearing a pistol. As we talked the neighbor across the road began target practice behind his house. We could hear another neighbor down the road a bit shooting also.

      Anyone from most other places in the country and especially from other countries would be horrified. People here in Grant Parish just call that Monday.

      • AlmightyJB

        Sounds like paradise, except for the humidity and mosquitoes:)

      • Suthenboy

        Ugh. It is gnat season. They just started this past weekend. Those fuckers drive me nuts as they go for the eyes and they are relentless. They will be gone in a week or two.

      • Suthenboy

        Heh. Neighbor said he wasn’t going to stop cuz socialdistancingcoronaapocalypse but he saw me smoking and thought I might be smoking a joint. I had to laugh. Nah, just a cigarette. I never had any use for pot and never fooled with the stuff. Poor guy, he had knee, shoulder and neck surgery and has prescription pain killers and he is trying to get off of them. We have medical Maryjane here, which I didnt know, but it is damned expensive and he cant afford it.

      • Q Continuum

        Probably cheaper to find some kid to buy it from on the black market.

      • pan fried wylie

        if I’m reading correctly, dude has land, in a warm climate.

        Obtaining source material seems to be the only hurdle.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I call it walking my Dog at the Park every morning, Open Carry FTW!

      • Hyperion

        Are there any places near you for sale right now?

        Seriously. I’m already working from home full time.

      • Suthenboy

        There was one place about half a mile from here. Very nice and private but as you can imagine it got snapped up very quickly.
        I am sure there are plenty of others in the parish.

        https://www.zillow.com/grant-parish-la/

        Come on down. I will help you burn some gunpowder and boil some crawfish.

      • pan fried wylie

        how many rounds does it take to bring a cauldron to boil?

      • Hyperion

        Thanks, Suthen. We’re looking to buy, sooner than later…

    • AlmightyJB

      I’ve been still hearing about TP being out here. Probably going to venture out tomorrow to try and find a package along with a few other items. Not an issue yet, but don’t want to wait until it is.

    • Hyperion

      Suthen. Just shoot the dirty hippies on site and we’ll all be OK.

      I was in Fresh Market yesterday and all I wanted was to buy some butter because my wife asked for it. There wasn’t very many people in the store, but when I approached the dairy section, I see these two old crony dirty hipsters in that section and I backed off.

      Seriously, I am not going near those people, their Priuses are probably infected with shit that makes Coronavirus seem like the common cold.

      I know I sort of sound mean, but dirty fucking hipsters who haven’t taken a damn shower in years, fuck that shit, and their fucking germ infested reusable grocery bags.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        So much this, thank God you can spot them a mile away.

      • Hyperion

        And smell them.

      • pan fried wylie

        REFRESH!!!

      • pan fried wylie

        While not as accurate at a mile, smell isn’t restricted by Line of Sight, so…

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Every place here I went into today had a ban on re-usable plastic (or other) bags. No exceptions.
        Didn’t matter much for the liquor store — I always end up needing a case anyways.  ;-)

      • Suthenboy

        We dont have a lot of those around here. You see a lot more cowboy hats, boots and pickup trucks.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      Still panicky here, although not as bad as last week.

    • westernsloper

      I ran to the store for the folks today. I thought the panic buying was over when I saw TP back on the shelves. (very limited supply) then walked down the dry bean isle which is what they asked me to go get for them. They eat lentils with every meal and mom panics if she gets under 6 lbs on hand even when not in freak out times. Not a dried bean in the store.

      Just heard the Gov came down with a statewide stay at home order. I expect the panic buying to ramp right back up. I don’t have words for how much this is pissing me off.

      • Hyperion

        Well, I’m only telling my friends here. And I’ll update you all with how much it works. But my research has indicated that as far as you can drive away from a metro area, the more full shelves you will find.

        Interested in alternate opinions / experience.

      • westernsloper

        County of 20,000. Town with the stores 7,000 ish. Stores ransacked last week.

    • TARDIS

      Yep! You can buy stuff with it, or wipe your rear with it.

  42. blighted_non_millenial

    The finished product.

    Jack is very happy the brisket is done.

    • Tundra

      Very nice! Excellent smoke ring and groovy pup!

      Enjoy!

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Thx.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Tough crowd.

      • pan fried wylie

        Considering his die hard contrarian nature, that he posted at all is probably an indication that he likes what he sees, argument-incitement aside.

      • pan fried wylie

        NO ITS NOT!

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Yeah, I lurk more than post, but I’ve been around long enough. My attempt at a dead-pan reply was probably lacking.

      • pan fried wylie

        in that case, I might have gone with “Sigh, You’re right.”

    • DEG

      Excellent.

    • westernsloper

      That is beautiful! Might I recommend a re-purpose for leftovers. I once made brisket eggs benedict and it was da bomb. Way better than canadian bacon.

    • Seguin

      6 19 27 33

    • Q Continuum

      She obviously needs a firmware update.

    • westernsloper

      lol……..almost be worth it to wade into the comments to see how many naked hair brushing coworkers references there are.

      • MikeS

        Tons.

  43. LCDR_Fish

    So…I’ve noticed this several times – most recently with a Samuel Smith Yorkshire Stingo tonight.

    A number of times now, I’ve tried beers that just did not work out for me – don’t really know enough to tell if they were skunked or just if tastes change – but then I go back a few years later and try them again and find that they really work for me.

    Hitachino Nest White – first bottle was garbage, but having it on tap at a little joint in Singapore was amazing.

    etc.

    Is there a clear distinction for recognizing if something is skunked when you open it? Don’t recall smells or anything…or if it was just me.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Same experience with brown liquor. I had a bottle of single-malt that tasted like rat’s piss a few years ago. Same brand half a decade later? Mother’s milk.
      No idea why.

    • robc

      Skunking is caused by light interacting with hops. You can detect it because it smells like skunks. It is literally the same chemical.

    • MikeS

      Maybe your tastes (figurative, not literal) are changing. Many beers and boozes that I tasted years ago and hated now taste delicious to me. Scotch and stouts and porters being the most glaring examples.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Maybe. One of my department heads bought some “fancy” bottle of scotch for the wardroom during a dining out in Da Nang back in 2013 – tasted like battery acid to me. Haven’t tried any of that kind of liquor since then – although now that I’m moving back to the area, I do want to try some whiskey flights they have at a local pub.

      • MikeS

        I’ve only been wading into whisk(e)y for a few years now, but it seems to me that Scotch has the widest range of flavors of all of them. I’d try a few before swearing it off.

    • Hyperion

      Doggie Style fucking rulez. Amirite?

  44. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    The spousal unit just sent me this:

         https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r2bfwbqfM8

    Yeah, tough choice.  ;-)

    • Spudalicious

      Ummm…

    • MikeS

      B

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      We have sometimes regretted that we weren’t able to have children. Not these days, though.  ;-)

      • Mojeaux

        You know, I spent years and years wishing for a husband and children and then I got them. They come with their own set of problems.

        I can look back and say, “Maybe I shouldn’t have had children. Why did I want children? Was it because it was because it was what I was taught to want?”

        But I have that luxury because I have been both childless and childful. We just don’t know what we don’t know.

        Being with or without children is tough. They’re not EQUALLY tough, but you don’t know that when you don’t have children.

      • Suthenboy

        Granted I have a son that is the perfect kid. You couldn’t dream up a better kid.
        I wouldn’t change having him for anything in the world. I would dynamite the levee and wash away the entire parish if that is what it took to save him. I dont have a lot of use for those other people anyway.

        There was never any question in my mind. He is the reason I was born, and now I have two grandchildren that are just like him.

  45. Suthenboy

    News: Promising treatments for Kung Flu.
    Rapid results testing developed
    promising vaccine developed and being tested
    infusing patients with plasma from people who have recovered showing good results

    I guess we are gonna live through yet another end of the world.

    • Mojeaux

      infusing patients with plasma from people who have recovered showing good results

      My niece, who has postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, and my nephew, who has severe asthma, are going to be undergoing this.