Wednesday Morning Links

by | Mar 4, 2020 | Daily Links | 559 comments

Playing like ass

Maryland and Kentucky went down to lesser foes yesterday, while Sparty fought back from a huge deficit to beat back Penn State. An heavy slate of NHL games resulted in the following winners: Montreal, St Louis, Pittsburgh, Boston, the MINNESOOOODA WIIIIILD!, Winnipeg, Chicago, Edmonton, Vegas, and San Jose. And across the pond, Liverpool continued their recent run of form and lost to lowly Chelski in the FA Cup.  Other winners were Sheffield United and Newcastle, with a large slate of Cup games today.

Underrated great

Brilliant Italian composer Vivaldi was born on this day. He shares it with such luminaries as Austrian chemist Karl Bayer, Magicians Guild founder Theodore Hardeen, Romanian diplomat Nicolae Titulescu, Knute Rockne (All-American), racer driver (and likely moonshiner) Buck Baker, pyramid scheme founder Richard DeVos, car designer Ed “Big Daddy” Roth, actress Paula Prentiss, Yes bassist Chris Squire, Liverpool soccer legend Kenny Dalglish, actress Patricia Heaton, boxer Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini, Metallica bassist Jason Newsted, gender bender Chaz Bono, Buckeye and Minnesota Viking great Robert Smith, and douchy NBA player Draymond Green.

Now let’s get on with…the links!

Truth in advertising

Joe Biden ran up some serious numbers on Bernie Sanders on Super Tuesday. And then he promptly confused his wife for his sister on stage. Of course, he started the day by sniffing a baby, which should surprise nobody anymore.

Yes, that counts as three links.The race is on to get coronavirus tests ready as the death toll in the US Washington State reaches nine. Also, cases are being reported in several large urban areas now, so it’s probably reached the tipping point as to possible containment.

You’d think this nation would have more of a sense of humor. But I guess if I came from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Cymry, I’d have a stick up my ass as well. Maybe collectively eat a snickers, ok guys?

This is more of a marketing link than a news link. But fuck it, we all deserve to add a little light to our pets’ live.

Who the hell orders wings from a Checkers? No wait, who the hell would order food from a Checkers?

Chicagoland government officials fail to stop financial enterprise. So I guess the key to beating the grifters is to be religious?

I’d say this is probably true. I just hope this blows the lid off what everybody deep-down knows has been the status-quo for decades.

If you’ve always wanted to live in a $250k shed, now’s your chance!

I wonder why they didn’t list the per unit price? Probably because it would expose the real villains: governments who have restricted private enterprise from correcting the market the governments have fucked up for decades.

Of course the taxpayers will foot the bill for this lazy fuck’s mistake. I mean, by this dumbasses logic, nobody unconscious could ever get an ambulance. Christ, what an asshole.

Love those horns. Now I can be-bob through the day, knock on wood.

Get out there and get over the hump, friends. I’m off to Kansas for 9 days of boredom.

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

559 Comments

  1. Rebel Scum

    promptly confused his wife for his sister on stage.

    I was thinking that Trump/Biden debates would be funny, but they might just be sad.

      • sloopyinca

        Isn’t that his granddaughter?

      • ChipsnSalsa

        She has the same “help me!” look that the Peloton girl had.

      • sloopyinca

        That’s not all that weird. Biden does some whacky shit sniffing kids, but this isn’t all that unusual a way to act with ones children or grandchildren for a lot of people.

      • invisible finger

        He sniffs them to find out if they’re his kids.

      • robc

        Biden is a Pak Protector confirmed.

      • straffinrun

        I’ve never kissed my daughter on the lips. Just creepy to me.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Wait, I thought you had adopted the Japanese culture.

      • straffinrun

        Stopped that when she was about 4. Now she’s 11 and the wife and her take baths now. Yesterday, the after bath time the wife comes out to the living room. “She got her first hair on …”. I cut her off quick. I. Don’t. Need. To. Know.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was going to be “her upper lip”

        Geez man

      • straffinrun

        Lol. You haven’t seen many Japanese little girls I take it. They are hairy little buggers.

      • invisible finger

        In a few months someone will be buying her used panties from of a vending machine.

      • straffinrun

        Lucky them. Those will be my panties.

      • TARDIS

        *gag*

      • Not Adahn

        I have been assured right on this very site that Uncle Joe only gropes and sniffs family and close friends that are really into it.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      He didn’t start sucking on his sister finger did he?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      promptly confused his wife for his sister on stage.

      *cue Alabama jokes*

      • sloopyinca

        I’d have also accepted an Ilhan Omar joke.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I saw a tweet last night that after Joe’s gaff Omar had switched her endorsement to Biden.

      • invisible finger

        As a reminder, Delaware is below the Mason-Dixon line.

      • WTF

        So is part of New Jersey.

      • Rhywun

        It would seem that Delaware is not included.

      • Jarflax

        Clearly the South controlled the line drawing.

      • Rebel Scum

        Alabama is the West Virginia of the deep south.

    • DOOMco

      It’ll still be funny to some of us.

      And it’s not like senile Joe wouldn’t use EOs to make some crazy stuff happen

  2. UnCivilServant

    I’m off to Kansas for 9 days of boredom

    Have fun!

    • sloopyinca

      Gee, thanks.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have faith in your ability to find something.

      • sloopyinca

        In Hutchinson, Kansas? They don’t even have a public shooting range.

      • Not Adahn

        Go visit Mojeaux. And weigh in on the great KC/TX BBQ debate.

      • sloopyinca

        What debate? There’s no debate. Texas has the best bbq.

      • sloopyinca

        Fuck, the reminds me I need to start brining a brisket before I leave so it’s ready for St Paddy’s.

      • Nephilium

        I’ve got a friend who does up a corned beef for the day. I’ve just been tapped for assisting with some prep work, and possibly making up some soda bread the day before. Other than that, my St. Patrick’s Day will consist of going downtown, watching music, drinking beer, and bar crawling.

        It’s a tough life.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You misspelled Memphis

      • robc

        BBQ is pig. TX and KC are both wrong.

        Although, Lewis BBQ in Charleston is making me reconsider my position. Their brisket is excellent.

      • robc

        Or mutton, can’t leave out Owensboro style BBQ.

      • TARDIS

        Agreed. Plus Burgoo > Brunswick stew. I’m having a mutton sandwich today, as a matter of fact.

      • pan fried wylie

        a Mayo Lamb Tomato?

      • Evan from Evansville

        Owensboro, huh?

        I think I have been to the Moonlite once aaaaaand I can’t recall another time having been to the city, oddly enough. I think I really have been there only once—nothing to do with my memory issues.

        That one visit probably ties me with Bubba Clinton.

      • robc

        I am not a fan of Moonlite, but my wife loves it. She grew up with it.

        Based on a sample size of 2, I can state unequivically that the Montessori Academy of Evansville is the bestest Montessori school in the universe.

        Just thought you should know.

      • B.P.

        Wolf’s BBQ isn’t bad.

      • robc

        Wolf’s BBQ isn’t bad.

        I enjoyed it during my 2 months living in Evansville.

      • sloopyinca

        This is factually inaccurate.

      • Not Adahn

        Nonsense. Brisket is the best of all BBQ meats.

        Though Texans will happily BBQ pork. I can’t think of any BBQ place that doesn’t include pork ribs and sausage on the menu.

  3. ChipsnSalsa

    So it seems Democratic operation “Clear the Field” seems to be working?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I wasted my vote on Grandpa Gulag yesterday.

    • Drake

      Sure did. Did everyone get a stern talking to and lavish promises to clear out for Slo Joe?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    At the housing community’s opening ceremony Thursday, Gov. Gavin Newsom spoke of using the San Jose project as a template for similar undertakings around the state.

    “It’s a question of scale. It’s a question of capacity. It’s a question of resolve,” Newsom said. “And so I just want you to know that we are resolved to scale programs like this.”

    California has raised “Doing less with more” to an art.

    • invisible finger

      So now we can give Newsom the title State Undertaker.

    • Fourscore

      Seen one of those units, seen them all.

      A prospective customer might ask to shown a different one. Looks like a Minnesoda fish house without the amenities.

      • pan fried wylie

        Because the market for fish houses consists of people with jobs?

  5. Rebel Scum

    it’s probably reached the tipping point as to possible containment.

    Time to stock up on booze.

    • Sean

      ^^ This is always good advice.

  6. straffinrun

    That dog collar would make a nice present for the next dem debate moderator.

    • straffinrun

      Fair snuff. They thought he was a vegetable.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    the real villains: governments who have restricted private enterprise from correcting the market the governments have fucked up for decades.

    Don’t give the NIMBYs a pass. People who want to control what others may do with their own property are thieves.

    • Rhywun

      This. When you put virtually all development decisions up to a vote of your neighbors, is it any wonder that nothing gets built – even when it passes through all the government loopholes?

      • Rhywun

        loopholes hoops

        need coffee

      • pan fried wylie

        *hoopLols

    • Fourscore

      I’m gonna need some muscle, ooops, zoning laws over here…

      Even in the flyingiest flyover country our betters know what we need. Gravity works in strange ways, pulling the power hungry towards government in rural area too.

  8. Festus

    So Joe is a non-starter, the coloreds hate Bloomy and everyone refuses to vote for the Commie. Loading…

    • Festus

      I’ve been joking about this for months but looking at the western front-ish wasteland, who do they have? Herself? The Wookie? Oprah fucking Winfrey? All of these guys could drop dead tomorrow and everyone knows it. Who then? Who is second in line? The VP pick is the crucial one for the Dems this cycle.

      • Nephilium

        I think you’ve got Buttgieg, Hickenlooper, and the gang. That’s the bench for the Dems. That’s it. Obama and the Clinton machines destroyed them.

      • Festus

        Odd how the American people will fight back when attacked. “Never saw that coming” said every Dem operative circa 2009.

      • The Last American Hero

        Biden picks Obama and he wins the race.

      • robc

        The GOP wins back the house, Biden dies (which seems likely), and the Speaker becomes Prez because Obama is ineligible.

        D’s lock up their claim to stupid party label.

      • Count Potato

        I think he meant Michelle.

      • The Last American Hero

        The darling of every suburban housewife.

      • Tejicano

        I’m getting the feeling that their front runner will be an acceptable, moderate to serve as a trojan horse to get somebody in as VP. After a short stint the front runner will be expected to resign for health reasons so the chosen one can take the reigns. If they don’t follow the pattern of selecting a VP who is basically anti-assassination insurance – that nobody would be crazy enough to want that person in charge – I will feel somewhat certain this trojan horse scenario is happening.

      • sloopyinca

        I totally agree. They’re playing this to get Klobuchar in. They like her policies best of all but also realize she has the charisma of a nerf ball. The only way to get her to the WH is this way.
        That’s why I think she’s gonna be the VP choice and Pete Buttigieg will be promised HHS or some such cabinet post.

    • gbob

      Calling it. Biden drops out right before convention. Hillary, reluctantly, steps in.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I predicted March/April was loading…. timeframe to swoop in. Its looking close to that.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    It’s not Tard Tueday anymore but check out this tidbit of logic

    Biden just proved to me

    Big money needs to be ripped out of politics.

    When the candidate is solid, with integrity, a strong message, and high name recognition based on decades of service . . .

    You don’t need money to win.

    You need you and your platform. They’ve texted twice a day for the past month.

    They didn’t need the money.

    Reputation Wins.

    • sloopyinca

      4. Citizens United needs to be reversed. Until it is, we need the money. Biden will
      benefit a lot from Bloomberg’s money in the general election.

      Hillary had 70% approval rating going into the 2016 race. That’s a good reputation. The republican machine beat her, and it takes money to override that.

      Until we can reverse Citizen’s United we need the money.

      I bet if you polled these mongoloids, not a single one of them would know what the Citizens United ruling was about.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t think they can find their own asses with both hands.

        Hillary far outspent Trump, but she was beaten by the Republican machine so they need more money, but they need to get money out of politics.

        That’s retard logic.

      • Festus

        Out spent him 2-1/2 to 1. Winning!

      • DOOMco

        You said it

      • DOOMco

        They don’t have a clue.
        And she spent twice what Trump did in 16, so does money work?

      • UnCivilServant

        You need it to buy the fraudulent votes.

        Ballot box stuffers aren’t free.

      • invisible finger

        Hey, the FBI doesn’t work for free!

      • Fourscore

        But remember we’re not paying for a landslide

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        You’re ignoring the exchange rate between red dollars and blue dollars. It’s something like 1 to 10.

      • WTF

        Whenever some idiot talks about “reversing Citizens United”, I ask them “so, you want to repeal the first amendment”? And you’re right, they have no clue what reversing Citizens United actually means.

      • robc

        I say, “So the New York Times can’t write about politics during election season?”

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t be a tease.

        Of course, I’d prefer they just went under and closed up shop.

      • Nephilium

        Sure they do, “CopRoaTions ArEn’t PErPle!”

        It wouldn’t be about providing the government the ability to ban books based on political content.

      • Not Adahn

        Mara Liasson just said on the radio that with Bloomberg’s help, this will be the first time the D’s have monetary parity with the R’s

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s demonstrably false unless you’re limiting the analysis to a very short and specific time period.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s got to be true. It’s NPR. They can’t take tax dollars unless they only tell the truth.

      • WTF

        Hey Mara, if you have to lie to make your point, you don’t have a point.

      • DOOMco

        In what cherry picked stat are they getting that?

      • R C Dean

        I don’t think that stat was pulled off a cherry tree.

      • Jarflax

        Those are hemorrhoids, not cherries.

      • Not Adahn

        Did you know you can cure hemorrhoids by shoving a potato up your butt? It was in all the papers.

      • Bobarian LMD

        There was a cherry planted next to the source, but that was a loooooonnnng time ago.

  10. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloopy!

    Jimbo will be by shortly to comment on Robert Smith running out of bounds against the Falcons.

    I’m much more positive so I’ll just link Kevin Fiala’s dangle, snipe and celly against the Preds last night.

    Filthy. Thanks, Poile!

    Sorry you have to go to Kansas, though. Are you atoning for some serious sins?

    • sloopyinca

      I have an insurance salvage auction there tomorrow and have to manage the load out for a week. Doing someone a favor.
      Meh, it’s paying well I suppose. But I have a real sale in three weeks it’s taking me away from adding equipment to. So that’s kind of a bummer.

    • Festus

      Robert Smith ran out of bounds when he turned into a big, fat capitalist just like his Da.

      • Festus

        Play the fucking guitar, don’t pose with it. That’s why guys like me hated bands like that. It’s a solid tune and in the rotation.

    • LJW

      “Sorry you have to go to Kansas, though. Are you atoning for some serious sins?”

      I’ll remember this comment when the Coronavirus or global warming wipes out the outer states. We’re not letting you in. Build that Wall!

      • Tundra

        Lol. Sorry. No one from Minne should tease others about their state.

      • UnCivilServant

        Look, the only thing we’ve got to build houses with is glass.

        Luckily, I still have paint, so I can at least get some privacy.

      • Fourscore

        Sorry, couldn’t hear what you said. Too much noise here at the casino with the all nighter old people making them slots happy.

      • Nephilium

        The great state of Ohio points and laughs. We at least have some hills with all of our corn!

    • Stillhunter

      That was sweet, but I thought the Forsberg goal was more impressive. Grabs puck out of the air, drops it, hits it on the bounce and beats Stalock glove side from the slot, all in a matter of about one second with players all around him. Luckily the preds didn’t turn the game around though.

      • dontreadonme

        That was Craig “Honeybadger” Smith, BTW….and a sweet move, indeed.

      • Stillhunter

        Oops, correct. I had Forsberg in my head (original shot).

    • dontreadonme

      That hurt especially Fiala never showed that skillset and poise when he played for us…..

  11. Not Adahn

    The company’s UK Twitter account posted names such as Llanfairpwllgwyngyll and Rhosllanerchrugog, followed by the message: “A place in Wales or someone sat on a keyboard? A thread.” The reason for the post is unclear and it was later deleted – but it provoked fury from many users who accused the chocolate bar maker of racism and xenophobia.</blockquote)

    Morans. You can't be rayciss against wypipo. And ain't nobody whiter than the Welsh.

    • Festus

      1/64 Welsh. Can confirm.

    • leon

      We are slowly descending back to where only the English are considered white.

    • Rhywun

      Most people criticised the tweet, but some Welsh people replying to the thread said they weren’t upset.

      And that’s of the people who bothered to reply.

      IOW, nothing to see here, move along.

    • Gadfly

      What makes the whole thing even better is that “Wales” and “Welsh” come from an ancient German term for “foreigner”, akin to how the Greeks called outsiders “barbarians”. So xenophobia is kind of baked in to the whole thing, nothing to get fussed about.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, the alternate option was sheepshaggers. They decided foreigner was better.

    • Agent Cooper

      I am pretty Welsh and it’s funny.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    I was thinking that Trump/Biden debates would be funny, but they might just be sad.

    I think a Sanders vs Trump debate would be like a poetry slam. Nobody would know what either of them was talking about.

    Debating Biden would be more like trying to get directions to a nice restaurant from a drunk homeless guy.

    • WTF

      I’m pretty sure the Trump v. Biden debates will be hilarious. Trump has no restraint and won’t hesitate to savage Joe at every opportunity. And Joe’s flailing attempts at comebacks will be awesome.

    • Count Potato

      Look, Xenu coming, I get it, man.

    • Sean

      I’m looking forward to the push up competitions.

  13. robc

    I was looking at results vs 538 predictions. Interesting, it breaks down into 4 categories, I think:

    1. Their model for American Samoa sucks hard. Projected delegates – Biden 2, Sanders 2, Warren 1, Bloomberg 1. Estimated results Bloomberg 4, Gabbard 2 (I have also seen 5-1, but she got 29% of the vote, so I think 2 is correct). Either is a huge swing and a miss.

    2. Down ticket effects. They had Bloomberg/Warren around 14-16% in a lot of states, meaning it was a tossup whether they would actually get any delegates at all (15% threshold). But they didn’t seem to account for the 4% that Buttigeig/Klobuchar/Steyer would still get and the 1% collected by the collection of long gone candidates. There was really only about 95% total available to the 5 still running, which makes it harder to get to 15%. And then they missed hard anyway, as Bloomberg/Warren only hit 8-10% in a whole lot of states, coming no where near the 15%.

    3. In certain states where Bloomberg/Warren got the 15%, the predictions actually look pretty good. Utah was predicted at Sanders 10, Biden 8, Bloomberg 7, Warren 4. It actually went 13, 6, 6, 4.

    4. Even Minnesota, which everyone was calling a huge upset, hit their numbers well, with adjustments. The prediction was Sanders 26, Biden 20, Bloomberg 8, Warren 9, and Klobuchar 12. Sanders got 25 and Warren got 10. Those were dead on. Biden got the Klobuchar and Bloomberg vote, to get 37 delegates. Basically, Sanders got his vote as expected. Biden overperformed across the board because he scooped up all the delegates that Bloomberg and Warren ddint get to claim. Sanders has his 30% of the vote and that is all he is ever gonna get.

    • leon

      “Sanders has his 30% of the vote and that is all he is ever gonna get.”

      This

    • straffinrun

      Nice breakdown.

    • sloopyinca

      Anybody who takes 538’s predictive abilities seriously need look no further than the “win probablilty” graph they put up for NCAA basketball games. They’re so far off as to be absurd.
      They had PSU at a 95% win probability last night against Michigan State with five minutes left in the first half. Sure they were up by 19, but MSU was just cold. And 25 minutes left to play is an awfully long time to be effectively calling a game over.

  14. LJW

    “I’m off to Kansas for 9 days of boredom”

    Hey now it’s not that bad… Ok it’s pretty boring. If you’re in the KC or Wichita area at least you’ll have some decent places to eat.

  15. The Hyperbole

    Re: Biden baby sniffing, looks like he’s whispering in the babies ear, still kinda odd but I don’t see any sniffing, but narratives must…

    • Festus

      Meh. I like babies just fine but I don’t whisper “words of power” into their fine-shelled ears.

      • Nephilium

        Memento Mori.

      • UnCivilServant

        I knew Mister Mori.

        Then he went back to Japan.

      • TARDIS

        Aren’t you supposed to shout that?

        /Nerd

      • UnCivilServant

        At a babay?! Are you mental?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Am I the only one who does that?

    • WTF

      Now talk about how Biden’s gaffes really aren’t any worse/more frequent than everyone else.

    • straffinrun

      He whispered “Meh”, amirite?

    • leon

      “but narratives must”

      You make it sound like he only ever got handsy with family, when he had done it with tons of women. So yeah maybe but every case makes sense, but the narrative didn’t pop out of the blue.

      • straffinrun

        The fact that the meme is out there should get him to stop doing that shit. At least not in public.

      • leon

        maybe not* every case makes sense,

    • Agent Cooper

      Biden is a CREEP.

  16. Drake

    I’m amused that Warren lost big in Massachusetts.

    • WTF

      Rejected by her own tribe.

      • Rebel Scum

        A totem to the wisdom of MA voters.

    • invisible finger

      And how.

      • Tundra

        Heap big loss.

    • invisible finger

      A pox on her campaign.

      • Not Adahn

        Ugh.

    • The Last American Hero

      She had a plan for everything except winning delegates.

      • Not Adahn

        Oh no, she had a plan.

        Just not a good one. You know, like all her others.

      • creech

        I heard she already put out a new fundraising plea to “keep up the momentum.” Sort of like “enjoying the view” as you fall off a cliff into the Grand Canyon.

  17. Trials and Trippelations

    Before all of us in NC die of the Corona virus I did manage to vote for Hornburger.

    Woohoo a vote that truly is useless (non binding primary)

    • straffinrun

      ?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Call the center for missing and exploited children

    Sanders’ agenda, which includes erasing college debt and providing health care for all, is popular with young people. But the exit polls indicated those voters were not the line of defense they were in 2016.

    Sanders’ rallies feature throngs of college students and 20-somethings cheering him on. In Virginia, Sanders held three rallies last week that featured thousands of energized supporters at each stop. On Tuesday, Biden clobbered Sanders in Virginia by winning by 30 percentage points.

    Sanders sounded undeterred Tuesday as he promised to keep marching toward the nomination.

    “We are going to defeat Trump because we are putting together an unprecedented grass-roots multi-generational, multi-racial movement,” he told supporters at a rally in Vermont.

    The lackluster showing is sure to fire up the long-standing assessments of election experts who say young voters’ energy rarely matches their turnout on Election Day. It also undercuts Sanders’ argument that he is best suited to defeat President Donald Trump in November.

    Sanders would need an extraordinary turnout among young voters to make up for the loss of moderates who would stay away from the polls if he’s the nominee, according to a study by political scientists David Broockman of the University of California-Berkeley and Joshua Kalla of Yale University, who surveyed some 40,000 voters to assess the electability of the Democratic contenders.

    This is why we need vote-by-text.

  19. Rebel Scum

    The lady asked if I voted yesterday. I said “Why would I vote in the Dem primary if my only options are 3 economically illiterate authoritarians, not counting Lying Liz, White Squaw and last of the Fauxhicans?” She was not amused.

    • robc

      4 economically illiterate authoritarians, not counting Liz.

      Stop disrespecting Tulsi that way.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s what bullets are for.

      I hate thieves.

    • invisible finger

      An effective way to avoid paying outrageous sales taxes.

    • straffinrun

      No arrest policy for that? Does that mean I can follow them home and steal their TV?

      • robc

        As long as it is under $950, yes.

    • Nephilium

      So Fallout 2 trick of carrying around an armed grenade or bomb in your pockets (and nothing else) while walking by the doors where those little bastard pickpockets are will make a comeback?

      • invisible finger

        Can easily shiv ’em.

      • Nephilium

        Then you risk the town as a whole going hostile, and getting the child killer tag. The pocket bomb prevents both of those things. I mean, is it really your fault if the kids were dumb enough to lift an armed hand grenade out of your pocket?

      • UnCivilServant

        “Who carries an armed hand grenade in their pocket?”

      • UnCivilServant

        *yes, I know the background and reference.

    • Rebel Scum

      And the store employees can do nothing because they are not allowed to be armed.

    • leon

      Im shocked that such a situation is even tenable. I’d string up the chief of police and DA

    • Tundra

      I was in an Apple store here and some kids ran in and grabbed headphones and ran out. The employee helping me said store policy is to do nothing.

      It’s fucking insanity.

      • Rebel Scum

        You’d think corporate would have a problem with that.

      • Rhywun

        Meh, it makes sense – in an environment where the workers are not allowed to defend themselves. All retail outlets have a budget line for theft. It will just be higher in California, and the honest customers will be paying for it, anyway.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Corporate instructs them not to chase.

    • leon

      Also the poster calls this anarchic. That’s unfair. At least in anarchy you would be free to protect your property. This is essentially the government stripping property rights for movable merchandise under $950

      • invisible finger

        “Store hours by appointment.”

      • Not Adahn

        They could go the route of the old Service Merchandise: Display items (behind polycarbonate) then punch in what you want to buy (and payment) and the goods come to you on a conveyor belt.

      • Festus

        I’ll have the lemon meringue pie and a snub-nosed .357, please.

      • UnCivilServant

        Would you like special or magnum cartridges with your .357?

      • Festus

        Feeling frisky this morning! Let’s have the magnum!

      • invisible finger

        No doubt they’ll try the expensive high-tech options first. When that shit gets fucked up by the vandals, they’ll revert to the ghetto liquor store solution where the cashier and all merchandise are behind bulletproof glass and some sort of lazy susan is used to hand over the cash or credit card and then the product is passed through it.

      • Not Adahn

        Baltimore is ahead of its time!

      • leon

        really it’s the pinnacle of Civilized Society. Now we don’t prosecute petty theft, AND everyones lives are still encumbered.

    • Raston Bot

      shoot, shovel, and shut up

    • Festus

      They want anarchy. Hired goons to protect your interests. The fucking Pinkertons, if you will.

    • Rhywun

      It’s all of California.

      Makes sense they voted for Sanders.

    • Festus

      Canada’s navy was the third largest in the world after WWII. Of course that was after all of the belligerents had been sunk. Still, something to ponder…

    • robc

      Switzerland?

    • R C Dean

      “Other Euro nations”?

      Do you even Brexit, bro?

    • The Last American Hero

      Yes, it’s called the US Navy, but I I’d bet arbitration over fishing right with Britain isn’t a high priority for them.

      Otoh, The British will be dead by years end because Brexit.

      • Festus

        Nope. It will be like here. They won’t recognize what happening until it’s too late. We’re dead in the water and it’s too damn late to start bailing.

    • Rebel Scum

      Do any other Euro nations even have a functional Navy?

      Not sure. But Germany can’t even field a fighter wing.

    • Rasilio

      France.

      and at the moment France’s Navy is pretty comparable to the UK’s

      Remember, last summer when Iran abducted a Brit flagged ship in the Straights of Hormuz? Yeah they were gonna send a response force but it turned out that they only had 2 ships even capable of making the trip and neither was well suited for extended use in warm climates.

      So right now the Royal Navy has

      2 Aircraft Carriers
      2 Amphibous Assault Ships/Helecopter carriers
      6 Destroyers
      13 Frigates
      6 Attack Subs

      France has

      1 Aircraft Carrier
      3 Amphibious Assault Ships/Helicopter carriers
      6 Destroyers
      11 Frigates
      5 Attack Subs

      Throw in Germany…
      3 Destroyers
      5 Frigates
      5 Attack Subs

      Spain…
      1 Amphibious Assault Ship/Aircraft Carrier
      11 Frigates
      3 Attack Subs

      Italy
      2 Aircraft Carriers
      3 Amphibious Assault Ships/ Helicopter Carriers
      4 Destroyers
      13 Frigates
      8 Attack Subs

      And finally a handful of small Diesel Electric attack Subs and Frigates from the Nordic countries and the Royal Navy would get curbstomped by a combined Euro Navy

      • Swiss Servator

        I think you vastly overestimate the readiness of the EU navies. I wouldn’t bet on Germany being able to remain afloat in combat operations more than 48 hours.

      • Rasilio

        No I think you are overestimating the readiness of the UK navy.

        Yes it is better than anyone else in Europe’s save possibly Frances but the whole point of the first half of that post was to indicate that the readiness of the ships that they do have is poor. The reality is the Royal Navy is not a global navy any longer and their ability to project force is essentially non existent.

        Yes they are one of the best trained and most professional navies on the planet and frankly they still probably rank in the top 5 or 6 navies out there in terms of power but they are no longer a global naval power.

      • UnCivilServant

        The question is, what reaction does a fight get from the US Navy? That’s the deciding factor here.

      • Rasilio

        Well yeah, part of the reason pretty much no one on the planet has more than a 30ish ship navy is the US navy is so overwhelmingly powerful.

        The US might not be able to beat the rest of the world combined in a conventional war, but the US Navy absolutely would beat all other navies combined and it wouldn’t be particularly close.

        So when you have one player who is overwhelmingly powerful like that there just isn’t much benefit in being a player in that space, you look to compete elsewhere and just seek to minimize the importance of that theatre where you are outclasses so badly

      • Jarflax

        It’s all very well to build a carrier but it takes a hell of a lot of supply chain to fight one.

      • R C Dean

        It will come down to a game of chicken. Navies have historically been mostly “forces in being”, more deterrence than fighting. Nobody, but nobody, is going to risk losing a ship, or even a life, over this.

        It will come down to which eunuch has the bigger balls, or something.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, I’d have difficult keeping it up for 48 hours too, without support.

        https://youtu.be/V_FmP0Ii7jQ

    • robc

      #13 Excel Sheet With Coloured Squares, It’s Mondrian

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, it’s not an inaccurate assessment.

    • WTF

      That’s excellent.

    • Festus

      The Carravagio made me laugh! (Pace Rhyun)

      • Rhywun

        If All The Men Look Like Cow-Eyed Curly-Haired Women

        LOL – and I always thought my friend here looks like a dude.

    • Raston Bot

      oh man i’m laughing. thanks! Bosch v Bruegel the Elder’s my favorite.

      • Drake

        I was expecting the girl with the giant ass – Demi something.

  20. Swiss Servator

    McHenry County is not “Chicagoland” – it is one suburb, one exurb and a lot of rural. Their politics are still old family style ones.

    • Festus

      So “Gangster” rather than “Gangsta”?

    • sloopyinca

      I count all of Illinois as Chicagoland now since they’re effectively slave labor for the pubsec union pension plans.
      Am I correct in doing so? Of course not. But I gotta be me. ?

      • Festus

        Go, Sammy!

      • Swiss Servator

        That is more “Illinois” (i.e. the larger amount of State workers in Springfield, etc) than “Chicagoland”. Chicago has unique problems in addition to the overwhelming Illinois ones.

  21. PieInTheSky

    The Version 6.0 global average lower tropospheric temperature (LT) anomaly for February, 2020 was +0.76 deg. C, up considerably from the January, 2020 value of +0.57 deg. C.

    This is the warmest monthly anomaly since March 2016 (+0.77 deg. C), and the warmest February since 2016 (+0.86 deg. C), both due to El Nino warmth

    https://www.drroyspencer.com/2020/03/uah-global-temperature-update-for-february-2020-0-76-deg-c/

    All I know is there was no winter in Bucharest this year…

    • Swiss Servator

      I would send you some of mine, if I could. It snowed early this morning.

    • Urthona

      Shut up, ecotard.

  22. UnCivilServant

    When I booked my reservation in Vegas, I browsed the restaurants in the area, and my reaction was “It’s like a shrine to gluttony”. I promptly reminded myself that it was Sin City. So I started a mental exercise to find all the Sins. Or at least the seven deadly ones. As a parameter for the thought experiment I put in the restriction that it had to be something that the tourist would go to in order to indulge in the sin in question. So having the casino break your kneecaps for card counting isn’t an entry fro wrath.

    Gluttony and Greed were obvious, Sloth and Lust not difficult to spot. So I’m still trying to find Wrath, Envy, and Vanity/Pride.

    • invisible finger

      all 7 easy to find at the sports book.

      • UnCivilServant

        Finding the sinners is too easy.

    • sloopyinca

      So I’m still trying to find Wrath, Envy, and Vanity/Pride.

      Stand by a $1000 minimum blackjack table and you’ll see all three within the first ten minutes.

    • Tundra

      Wrath: Golden Knights game.
      Envy: panhandlers yelling at you when you ignore them
      Vanity/Pride: Day shift at Spearmint Rhino

      • UnCivilServant

        The parameter is that the tourist indulges the sin, so unless you envy the panhandlers, I can’t say that works.

      • Tundra

        Too many rules.

      • Nephilium

        Walk through a “nice/fancy” casino at night. You’ll see plenty of Vanity/Pride. Wrath would be boxing/MMA. Envy, go sit at the penny slots until one of the people running three machines at a time sees someone else hit a jackpot.

      • straffinrun

        Boo. MMA and boxing are legit sports. Sure, some guys lose their shit at times, but not any more than in Football.

      • pistoffnick

        “MMA … are legit sports”

        I dunno. After watching Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone crumple in 40 seconds, I gotta wonder how much he was paid to take that fall.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYdynI_0N50

      • pistoffnick

        I’m pretty convinced that UFC is only one step up from WWF wrasslin’ in terms of predetermined outcomes

      • straffinrun

        UFC has only had a few suspicious fights. Cerrone is old for a fighter and had been rocked the last few fights. I could see him being a bit weak going in to the Connor fight.

      • sloopyinca

        Ok, I’ll help you personally experience the last three:
        Envy: watch some trust fund douche get out of his Bentley with some beautiful arm candy
        Vanity/Pride: make it rain at a titty bar
        Wrath: carve up a hobo

        You’re welcome.

      • sloopyinca

        No wait…Wrath: carve up a handbill passer who talked you into seeing a show that didn’t live up to the hype.

    • Not Adahn

      They have lots of boxing matches in Vegas.

      And high-end clothing/jewelry shops.

    • Drake

      Envy… Paris Casino?

      Vanity/Pride – any property owned by Steve Wynn?

      Wrath is the tough one.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Wrath – Watch from some road rage.

      Envy – Why do so many people gamble? Hoping to get what someone else has.

      Vanity/Pride – How much makeup do you need to see to call it pride?

    • straffinrun

      The casinos don’t bust kneecaps anymore. That’s what the cops are for.

      • UnCivilServant

        It was an example to illustrate the parameters.

      • straffinrun

        The cops are wrath.

    • Drake

      I got it!

      Wrath – win more than $1,000 in a casino and don’t tell the IRS!

    • Rasilio

      You really couldn’t find vanity/pride?

      High End Clothing Boutiques, beauty and health spas

    • Jarflax

      The shops in Caesar’s Palace are a shrine to Vanity. For Wrath and Envy, I’d look away from the strip at the pawnshops and crappy apartments for the service workers.

    • leon

      “Justice Stephen Breyer authored an opinion that agreed with Alito that IRCA does not “expressly” preempt state criminal laws in this case. but maintained that there is still an “implied preemption.””

      I can never decide who I think the worst Justice is, but Breyer is a perennial favorite for the slot.

      • DOOMco

        I just didn’t even realize this was a question.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        He is, by far, the worst. I can at least respect Kagan and Sotomayor and Ginsburg for crafting a chain of argumentation. Breyer’s opinions are worthless.

      • robc

        ^^THIS^^

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      *tries to suppress rant*

      This is what fucking gets me going in the immigration debate. Illegally crossing the border isn’t that big of a deal in a vacuum. However, in my experience (in a DACA clinic), the only people who hadn’t stolen somebody else’s identity were the kids. That’s not a victimless crime, and it’s pervasive.

    • WTF

      So 4 justices thought it was okay for illegal aliens to commit fraud and identity theft.
      Jesus Christ.

    • Raston Bot

      i wonder how Merrick Garland, RIP, would’ve ruled.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    So I’m still trying to find Wrath, Envy, and Vanity/Pride.

    Just swing by the Raiders’ new stadium.

  24. Evan from Evansville

    Today has been a remarkably shitty day. I am ill, but jesus fucking christ NO it isn’t CORVID 19. My stomach was pissed off with me earlier but that has been mitigated. My nose is running like Bolt and there are almost assuredly some medical interactions that I’m experiencing. Well. Maybe it is that corona-fella. How would I know? If it is then it ain’t much, but I certainly am not the age group most at risk.

    Everyone over here is fully masked–I would estimate 95% I see in public are wearing one unless they are smoking or eating. Schools are closed and I have the whole week off. However, there are other schools that have put out notices and everything is shut down and the official starting now for a lot of my friends is the 24th. We haven’t heard official word from HQ but I would be surprised if I actually start the semester next week. We shall see.

    The worst thing is that my anxiety and psychological issues are affecting how I’m feeling symptoms. As I write this I feel significantly better than I did earlier; my brain was more than happy to put these effects together. Hopefully it continues and I have confidence that it will.

    • Drake

      Damn – get better.

      My son comes home for college spring break next week. I’m half wondering if we will get an email in the middle of the week telling students not to come back.

    • straffinrun

      Do Koreans do that thing on the train where they sleep on the passenger’s shoulder sitting next them? Corona has cured them of that nasty habit here.

      • Sensei

        I had that happen to me. And I thought my gaijin bubble was supposed to protect me.

        It must not work late at night with drunk salarymen.

      • straffinrun

        The gaijin bubble is a creation of gaijin not behaving the “proper” way on the train. Not blaming them (us?), but if you behave like the natives, that bubble disappears. I can turn it on when needed.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Turn you phone off silent?

      • Evan from Evansville

        Uh….fuck no Koreans do not do that. I admit that I have never paid attention to that activity, but I absolutely would notice the hell out of it if I had ever witnessed it.

        Huh. Odd difference (perhaps; what do I know) between the two cultures.

        “The gaijin bubble is a creation of gaijin not behaving the “proper” way on the train. Not blaming them (us?), but if you behave like the natives, that bubble disappears. I can turn it on when needed.”

        I’m not sure where my behavior fits into this. I actively try to be as invisible as possible just so I am ignored. This isn’t just true where I don’t (really) speak the language. I just don’t want to be bothered, so I’m not how much of this is Evan Behavior or [insert country here] Behavior or some combo.

      • straffinrun

        Koreans are a lot more aggressive, so that makes sense. Island culture is stronger than East Asian culture at times.

    • Not Adahn

      Kissbangs hardest hit.

    • Count Potato

      I hope you are feeling better soon.

  25. Certified Public Asshat

    Trump Doesn’t Care If You Catch Coronavirus

    Whatever governmental departments we do have operating currently have been reoriented so that they do the precise opposite of their intended purpose (see: the EPA). Everywhere else, you are living in the libertarian wet dream of an America where everyone is on their own and no one is coming to help you. If you die from this virus, if MILLIONS of Americans die from this virus, President Trump won’t give half a fuck. The GOP won’t give a fuck either. This is true even if useful altar boy Mike Pence contracts the disease. If Pence gets sick, Republicans will lavish him with all the loving attention Nancy Grace bestows upon any white girl who goes missing in the tropics. But they still won’t give a fuck about the other casualties. To them, that’s just 3 million fewer mouths to feed. Why, with any luck, the virus might wipe out enough Californians to turn the state red! And wouldn’t that be a delight.

    How did I ever think this guy was funny…

    • Certified Public Asshat

      You hate big government? Well, coronavirus is right there with you. Thankfully, now that it’s here in America, it can enjoy the FREEDOM it so dearly craves. It can even buy a gun if it wants to. The virus has that freedom right now because those man-made certainties that America has built over generations are now being dismantled, and quickly. Not every country has enjoyed these certainties. Soon, we’ll be right there among them. We’re a fucking backwater. We don’t have our shit together, and a coterie of government officials and rich assholes are gleefully feasting on our carcass while it rots.

      Now that is a narrative.

    • leon

      Everywhere else, you are living in the libertarian wet dream

      Really it is sad, because there are so many people who even the little Freedom we are currently afforded is too much.

    • WTF

      I am sincerely baffled as to how someone can be so deluded as to actually believe that nonsense.

      • Rebel Scum

        Haven’t you heard? Trump disbanded the entire federal government. Doesn’t matter anyway since everyone died from net neutrality.

        But seriously, this idiot sounds like the idiot in my office that said lack of traffic enforcement in Peru makes it a “libertarian paradise”.

      • leon

        Your friend is an idiot. Libertarian Paradises don’t have roads so no need for Traffic enforcement anyway.

      • UnCivilServant

        Where’s my flying delorean?

  26. Rebel Scum

    The government’s fishing minister has warned the EU that the UK has taken “sufficient” steps to protect its waters after Brexit, as fears grow of a French blockade.

    The Royal Navy boasts three extra vessels, the Home Office will provide a further four and the government can call in help from the private sector, George Eustice said.

    A new control centre has been launched, 50 extra fishery protection officers have been recruited and there will be “aerial surveillance”, a House of Lords inquiry was told.

    “We have significantly increased our enforcement capability,” Mr Eustice said, adding: “We think that is sufficient.”

    Rule Britannia…

    • UnCivilServant

      The proper response is to seize the tresspassing vessels and put the crew on trial for poaching. Before too long the mainlanders will stop coming.

  27. Nephilium

    Here’s one hell of a way to cash in on a panic. (And probably a great PR move).

    Even though WebEx meetings are the devil.

  28. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: It’s Not Racist When We Do It

    10 Reasons Why Inviting White People to the Mythical ‘Cookout’ Is Stupid and Silly and Needs to Stop Forever

    1. Because it’s stupid and silly.

    2. Because you’re fucking goofy for thinking this is cool.

    3. Because cookout meat is precious and sacred and not meant to be shared with interlopers, gentrifiers, and Travis Fucking Kelce.

    4. Because the bar for what constitutes “cookout invites” is lower than Rush Limbaugh’s life expectancy.

    5. Because inviting every white person who just happens to just not be a terrible person makes us seem thirsty as fuck.

    6. Because this cookout invite energy is never reciprocated. We don’t get public invites to the pierogi casserole potluck campout or whatever the fuck when we do kind things for them, so let’s just keep our cookouts separate but equal.

    7. BECAUSE INVITING WHITE PEOPLE TO THE COOKOUT NEGATES ONE OF THE PRIME REASONS FOR HAVING ALL-BLACK GATHERINGS AND THAT’S TO BE IN A SAFE AND UNDERSTANDING SPACE TO DISCUSS, DEBATE, DECONSTRUCT, AND TALK SHIT ABOUT THE ECOSYSTEM OF PECULIAR BEHAVIORS KNOWN AS “THAT’S SOME WHITE PEOPLE SHIT.”

    8. Because it took five years of Powerpoint presentations, chart readings, peer-reviewed studies, and dream interpretations to convince Uncle Frankie to also buy some gluten-free buns for the meat and now we have to ask him to make rare steaks for Brad from accounting, too? Frankie already has high blood pressure and now you want to give him a stroke?

    9. Because there are many other ways to show appreciation for a white person who happens to be cool—thousands of activities for you and said cool white person that don’t involve lightening my take-home plate, motherfucker.

    10. Because it reinforces the idea that merely performing blackness—listening to black music, knowing how to do black dances, being sexually attracted to black women, etc—is an act of antiracism, when it’s just proof you have Spotify.

    • Rebel Scum

      ALL-BLACK GATHERINGS

      Self-segregation. Richard Spencer smiles upon you.

    • leon

      AND TALK SHIT ABOUT THE ECOSYSTEM OF PECULIAR BEHAVIORS KNOWN AS “THAT’S SOME WHITE PEOPLE SHIT.”

      I got lost… is the author talking about Peculiar Institutions?

    • ChipsnSalsa

      So if the cookout is “mythical” they don’t really take place?

    • Nephilium

      pierogi casserole potluck campout

      /raises hand

      Why was I not informed of this option?!

      • Rhywun

        Sounds like a nice place to perform whiteness.

      • Not Adahn

        So, hotdish but with pierogi instead of tater tots?

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s still mostly potato.

    • Rhywun

      We don’t get public invites to the pierogi casserole potluck campout or whatever the fuck when we do kind things for them, so let’s just keep our cookouts separate but equal.

      I don’t want to attend your racist cookout, anyway.

    • Aloysious

      I have a hard time believing Damon Young is capable of opening a can of Spaghetti-O’s unassisted, let alone managing to contribute to anything resembling a cookout. He strikes me as more of a taker, living off the labor of others.

      • Nephilium

        He brags about convincing someone else that they had to buy gluten free rolls in addition to the regular ones instead of even bringing those himself.

      • Aloysious

        He’s almost as pathetic as Dave Weigel. Almost.

    • Naptown Bill

      So #7 is so that you can tell racist jokes among other black people, because all other black people will think they’re funny and nobody of any other ethnic group can take a joke. Or, someone’s projecting really, really hard.

    • Naptown Bill

      But seriously, what is this, 1998? Is Def Comedy Jam still the barometer for race relations in this country?

    • Tejicano

      In my Army Reserve unit we used to do cookouts after the Saturday drill where it wasn’t uncommon to get to a point where the white guys were telling white-trash jokes, the black guys were telling N****r jokes, and Mexicans and Pinoy (Philippinos), well, just drank beer and laughed.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I was in an Apple store here and some kids ran in and grabbed headphones and ran out. The employee helping me said store policy is to do nothing.

    It’s fucking insanity.

    Something something professional courtesy.

    And, of course, they just jack up the price for the paying customers suckers to cover the shrinkage.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      they just jack up the price for the paying customers suckers to cover the shrinkage.

      It’s government writ small.

    • leon

      The “Rigged Primary” is a case of Narrative that just feeds itself. Anytime Bernie looses, it’s because it was rigged. Not because he struggles to muster more than 35% of the vote.

    • leon

      Andisheh Nouraee
      @andishehnouraee
      ·
      1h
      People not liking my preferred candidate is not a #riggedprimary. Republicans making sure it takes Democrats hours to vote is a rigged primary.
      Quote Tweet
      Ari Berman
      @AriBerman
      · 10h
      Students at historically black college in Houston waiting up to 4 hours to vote. This is what voting in Texas looks like after Supreme Court gutted Voting Rights Act https://twitter.com/christofspiele

      I’m confused. Was there a part of the Voting rights act that said you didn’t have to wait to Vote ever.

      • Rebel Scum

        And everyone in line by poll closing gets to vote.

      • DOOMco

        Waiting? Like in a line?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Breadlines good, voting lines bad.

    • leon

      Michael Nazli
      @iThinkBuzz
      ·
      2h
      Elizabeth warren took away 100’000’s of progressive votes from Bernie for just staying in with no chance what so ever .. resulting in a big wins for Biden .. don’t tell me the system is not against Bernie #RiggedPrimary #SuperTuesdayResults

      To hearken to Ozy’s post yesterday: FUCK YOU a person’s vote belongs to that person, not some candidate. Kindly go stuff a lever up your ass and jump in a lake of battery acid.

      • invisible finger

        A person’s vote belongs to whoever they give it to.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Your money and your vote belongs to the government.

  30. Rebel Scum

    Katy Tur discovers people are individuals with varying opinions not linked to their skin pigment.

    Tur asked the man, via a translator, if he was deciding between Sen. Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden. The man responded by saying he supported Sanders’ candidacy. After some crosstalk about why he was supporting Sanders, Tur inquired as to if his daughter was “leading the charge” and helping the family decide how to vote. Through the translator, the man said no, his daughter was voting for Donald Trump.

    The translator seemed surprised to hear this, but so was Tur. “Your daughter’s going to vote for Donald Trump. Por qué?” (“why”), she asked animatedly.

    The voter went on to explain that his daughter supported Trump because of the economy. In the very next segment, the translator explained to a fascinated Tur that there was a percentage of the Latino community (he guessed 10 to 15%, which sounds low) who are conservative and who would lean more towards someone like Trump because of economic concerns and his support for law enforcement.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They referred to that 15% as “stubborn”

      They obviously don’t know what’s good for them.

      • Viking1865

        Get back on the…..hacienda?

    • leon

      She’s only voting for Trump because she was Gerrymandered into doing it.

    • robc

      Argh…you made me click on redstate. I hadnt been there since the paulite-purge in ought 8.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      In the video they have a little ticker box of the stock market labeled “Corona sell off”. Wow that’s being pushed hard ain’t it.

      My friends mother came to visit her for no particular reason. She thinks it’s because her mom is sick of her dad constantly look at ticker tape numbers and getting insanely stressed about it.

  31. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: Marriage Is A Capitalist Plot

    Blame it on the 1980s. The ’80s saw a major cultural backlash to two decades of feminist deconstruction of gender roles, and introduced new ideals of womanhood that recalled the immediate post-war era with nostalgia. In 1988 and 1989, Good Housekeeping ran a series of full-page advertisements featuring photographs of mothers in their homes with their children. The accompanying text described the “new traditional woman:” a “contemporary woman who finds her fulfillment in traditional values that were considered ‘old-fashioned’ just a few years ago.” In 1985, Executive Bride, an aptly-named guide for a new generation of brides-to-be, told readers: “Even if you find it hard to picture yourself, a hard-driving professional woman, in something as traditional, as corny, as, yes, romantic as a wedding, you know you want one.”

    The wedding industry was savvy, catering to a new hard-driving, professional, and yet traditionally feminine bride. Since the counter-cultural movement and feminist critiques of the 1960s and ’70s, some women had sought to remake their weddings from the postwar norm to more closely reflect their preferences and values. In some cases, this simply meant marrying somewhere other than a church, perhaps in nature. Some brides opted to do away with the traditional ceremonial language of duty and obedience and instead emphasize partnership in their vows. Others rejected traditions such as being “given away” by their fathers, or being announced to friends and family as “man and wife.” By the 1980s, bridal consultants and magazines, fashion houses, caterers, and jewelers found that they could profit by actively encouraging women to dispense with traditions that felt old fashioned and to personalize their weddings to suit their tastes. American women enthusiastically embraced this call.

    • Not Adahn

      Good Housekeeping ran a series of full-page advertisements featuring photographs of mothers in their homes with their children.

      Does… does this writer think Good Housekeeping was a magazine read by servants?

      • The Last American Hero

        Yes but she couldn’t figure out why a magazine for servants was written in English.

    • leon

      What a strange endorsement of Capitalisim.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Anytime Bernie looses, it’s because it was rigged. Not because he struggles to muster more than 35% of the vote.

    Seriously. But the talking heads only want to talk about President Cartoon Villain’s “hard ceiling”.

    “The soccer moms hate Trump.” Okay, now do self-employed and business owners’ opinion of Bernie.

  33. Pope Jimbo

    Underrated? Mr. Run out of bounds and stop the clock in ’98 Robert Smith?

    Meh. Good back. Not underrated.

    • straffinrun

      He always ran hard. Got respect that.

    • Tundra

      *smiles in triumph*

  34. Certified Public Asshat

    Speaking of tiny houses, my wife’s hippie friend is about to jump on the trend 5 years too late (family of 4 + dog, kids are 6 and 3 maybe?). I’ll report when it melts down.

    • The Last American Hero

      So, by next Thursday?

    • Timeloose

      They are called trailers and they have parks full of them. Leave it to hippie hipsters to redefine a trail park. Artisinal manufactured right sized community homes.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I guess a more appropriate name would be Tiny trailer home.

    • Not Adahn

      Is it possible to anonymously call in a red flag raid on someone? From outside VA?

      • Nephilium

        Do you have access to the internet? And a burner phone? Then yes.

      • Not Adahn

        *googles “VA leigislator home addresses” from unattended coworker’s computer*

    • Festus

      Keep lifting that rock.

    • leon

      I find it funny (in a resigned kind of way) that the Dems are doing this while also constantly complaining about how Trump is such an authoritarian Tyrant.

    • Rebel Scum

      Shouldn’t sheriffs be funded by their localities? Anyway, keep playing with matches near that powder keg, you authoritarian cuntes.

      • Viking1865

        Shit like this is why the Boomer NRA/Fudd types are fools to say “but cops are gun guys and conservative.” when it comes down to “confiscate or lose your pension” they will do as they are told, for the most part.

        You’re going to see well funded challengers to the sheriffs who led the pushback, and they won’t be running as gun grabbers, they will be running as concerned locals who want the sheriff to focus on local issues.

      • The Last American Hero

        Once cops figure out it gives them even more power over the citizenry and additional excuses to stop/search/arrest, they will join team Gun Control in a heartbeat. Fortunately, they’re a little slow on the take.

      • AlmightyJB

        I’m not really sure they want the job of confiscating guns from the local population.

      • Pine_Tree

        Their planned work-around is kiddie-pron plants.

        The powers that be will create a few high-profile early cases of confluence where the pro-gunners in opposition to them are found to “have it” very publicly.

        And so their defences/support will be silenced, and the message will get out that this is what will be “found” on you if you oppose them.

      • Not Adahn

        Driving the Bearcat is fun!

    • R C Dean

      Dems now will introduce a bill in the next session to strip their pensions.

      Now, they could maybe kick Sheriffs off the pension plan entirely (although what’s vested is vested), but I don’t see a way to do it that just targets Sheriffs who have said they won’t enforce certain laws.

  35. Rebel Scum

    I don’t know why you even still have a job.

    Smith and Henry introduced the segment with a clip from earlier in the show, when McDaniel had suggested that a contested convention could lead to attempts by the party establishment to undermine and push out Independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders.

    “It is leading towards potentially a brokered convention, which will be rigged against Bernie if those superdelegates have their way on that second vote,” McDaniel said.

    Smith turned the question to Brazile then, asking what she made of McDaniel’s assessment.

    “First of all, stay the hell out of our race. Stay the hell out of our race,” Brazile began, addressing Republicans in general. “I get sick and tired, Ed and Sandra, of listening to Republicans tell me and the Democrats about our process. First of all, they don’t have a process. They are canceling primaries. They have winner take all. They don’t have the kind of democracy that we see on the Democratic side, and for people to use Russian talking points to sew division among Americans — that is stupid.”

    And? There is no serious challenger to the incumbent.

    • Rebel Scum

      the kind of democracy that we see on the Democratic side

      Needs moar super-delegates that are not beholden to voters.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Some votes are more equal than others.

    • leon

      Russian talking points to sew division among Americans — that is stupid.”

      On a scale of 1 to Republican Talking Points, where do Russian talking points fall? Does she realize she’s a parody of herself?

      • Rhywun

        sew division

        Not fair for that reporter to buttonhole the nice political operative lady.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, if he’s still reacting this way so long after the upset of the election they’d had stitched up…

      • Bobarian LMD

        All this hemming and hawing is gonna cause some seams to burst.

    • Raston Bot

      she’s not unhinged at all.

    • WTF

      Fox News actually hired her as a contributor.

    • robc

      Is she referring to South Carolina?

      The party of the incumbent always cancels to save the state money. The Dems did it in 2012 and 1996.

    • Jarflax

      Th numbers I am looking at look like an outright Biden win now. I find this almost incomprehensible given that he looks about one step away from peeing himself, but I suspect his chance of an outright majority shifts from 1 in 3 to no less than 2:5, possibly 50:50 when 538 unfreezes it. Bernie did not do well yesterday at all.

      • Jarflax

        I posted this before I saw that Bloomberg had dropped out, now I’ll go further, Biden is going to win the nomination outright.

    • Naptown Bill

      Ok, Donna.

      Hey, remember when Donna Brazile leaked questions to Hillary Clinton before a debate on CNN?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        No bias at all… None. Never.

        *sweeps Brazile, Stephanopoulos, and a dozen others under the rug*

  36. Pope Jimbo

    Why I should never be a real estate developer: It would force me into a life of arson.

    Fucking asshole neighbors thinking they get a say on what I could do with property I purchased would drive me over the edge. Arson would be the best case scenario. More likely is a spree shooting at one of their association meetings.

    The building hasn’t seen parishioners in five or six. It’s got an interesting, blocky design—all rectangular planes and tapered triangles jutting into the sky—though not interesting enough to be deemed “historic” and eligible for preservation.

    That wasn’t a problem until this year, when Northland Real Estate Group (the current property owner) proposed turning the site into two stories of rental housing. It’s considering a plan that would include 39 bedrooms, 10 parking spaces, and bike storage facilities, according to the Minnesota Daily. Rent would likely be between $600 and $800 a month.

    According to nearby resident Larry Crawford, there was a “tremendous groan” in the audience when Northland presented the plan to the Southeast Como Improvement Association in mid-February. This wasn’t the future they’d envisioned for the building.

    • Viking1865

      “Crawford says housing like this would inevitably attract students rather than more permanent residents—and that’s fine. He came to the neighborhood as a student himself, and he ended up staying and establishing himself in the community. But at $600 to $800 a room, he considers this model “exploitative.” A number of the petition signatories, he says, are young people themselves.”

      This fucking guy.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The Concerned Como Neighbors insist they aren’t like the typical NIMBY naysayers.

        “This neighborhood welcomes all neighbors,” Crawford says. That includes a large population of immigrants from Somalia and other parts of the world. But they’d rather the denser development stay around traffic corridor areas—like East Hennepin—and not clutter up the middle of a residential block.

        Sure we’re very accepting of anyone making enough money to afford their own house. But we don’t want those icky poors all living in one house. Eeeew. But don’t forget we are very open minded and accepting.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah they want the benefits of an HOA without actually moving to the icky suburbs. I, despite my yokeltarian leanings, am a lifelong city dweller. I’d hate to live in a HOAed suburb, so I don’t live there.

      • Rhywun

        “Our neighborhood is being destroyed by multi-dwelling housing,” one signatory said.

        Yeah, that’s not a typical NIMBY opinion at all!

      • Raston Bot

        fine. $300 to $400 a room and now there are 78 bedrooms. still only 10 parking spaces.

        you want drifters and pimps? you get drifters and pimps.

      • wdalasio

        It’s almost enough to make me think the developer should take a tax write-off and donate the building to be a homeless shelter. Let the oh-so-enlightened be on record as opposing that. He might take a loss, but the warning to any future neighbors would be worth it.

      • leon

        NIMBY’s have no problem being opposed to homeless shelters.

    • straffinrun

      Tragedy of the common assholes.

    • B.P.

      I’m sure they’ll bemoan the lack of affordable housing in five minutes.

      • Rhywun

        They support “affordable housing” in the form of vertical ghettoes nowhere near them and/or set-asides for the politically connected also in towers nowhere near them.

  37. DOOMco

    Billy weld, ladies and gentlemen

    • leon

      Has he Endorsed Biden yet?

      • DOOMco

        Give it a week

  38. The Late P Brooks

    According to nearby resident Larry Crawford, there was a “tremendous groan” in the audience when Northland presented the plan to the Southeast Como Improvement Association in mid-February. This wasn’t the future they’d envisioned for the building.

    And then they pooled their money and bought the building so they could decide what happens to it.

    I crack myself up.

    • Naptown Bill

      Why anyone gives any credence to the peanut gallery is a mystery to me.

  39. Pope Jimbo

    Official Minnesoda Sec of State web site redirects users trying to find their polling place to a web site run by Liz Warren supporting PAC.

    But don’t worry, it was just a “serious lapse of judgement” by a staff person according to the Sec of State.

    • wdalasio

      You know, if I got caught in a “serious lapse of judgement”, I’d be cleaning out my desk. But there’s no evidence this anonymous person is going to face any consequences whatsoever.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Show us, on the Constitution, where it says you can do that

    With the Trump administration joining the attack on the CFPB structure, the Supreme Court appointed former Solicitor General Paul Clement to defend the existing law.

    “The issue in this case is like the thread on the sweater that if you start tugging on it, and you tug on it hard enough, potentially, the whole sweater comes undone,” said Clement shortly after receiving the appointment. “The sweater here really is … the entirety of the independent agencies … the whole alphabet soup of agencies.”

    Oh, HORROR!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      In order to ensure the director’s independence, the law bars the president from firing him or her for any reason except malfeasance, inefficiency, or neglect of duty.

      Blatant violation of the separation of powers.

      • leon

        Yup. Unfortunately this all went out back in the Late 1800’s with the FTC, where the supreame court said that that was totes legit.

    • wdalasio

      On this one, the Trump administration is absolutely dead right. One of the myriad of problems with the CFPB is that the agency is set up to be totally unaccountable. It has independent funding that Congress has no discretion over and staffing that the Executive has extremely limited ability to control. Even leaving out the fact that it was designed as a partisan shakedown factory, no other agency in the government has anywhere near that level of unaccountability. It shouldn’t have its structure attacked. It should be nuked from orbit. For Clement to pretend otherwise is dishonest.

    • Viking1865

      “The sweater here really is … the entirety of the independent agencies … the whole alphabet soup of agencies.”

      Oh please don’t throw me in that briar patch.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Constitution grants the president the power to execute the laws, countered Francisco. “The only way he can do that is if he’s fully accountable,” for his principle officers and they are accountable to him.

      But “removal is like a nuclear bomb,” replied Kagan. There are many other ways a president can control officers — appointment, term limits — why this one?

      Oh give me a fucking break. Only a goddamned judge appointed for life could consider firing someone the “nuclear” option. It happens all the time in the private sector.

      • UnCivilServant

        Because judges are very difficult to fire, and can’t comprehend being “at will”.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, I see, you said that.

      • leon

        Plus the ones she listed are wholely insufficient to actually hold someone accountable. “Hey you need to promise to do what i want, or i’ll not appoint you” means nothing once they are apponted. And “Term Limits”? That isn’t about accountability.

    • Rebel Scum

      Sounds like another “He made his law, now let him enforce it” moment.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    At the end of the day, there appeared to be five conservative justices unwilling to recognize that kind of independence for the CFPB, and four liberal justices with an opposite view.

    “Listen they protect the consumer. It’s right there in the name. How can you have a problem with that?!”

  42. CPRM

    Joe Biden wins the Mormon vote, he believes in sister wives! Badumbum!

    • leon

      Explains all the sniffing…

  43. AlmightyJB

    Sister. Wife. They all smell the same.

    • CPRM

      I think there is gene that is supposed to stop that from happening.

    • Timeloose

      It’s like brain damage from the strokes has made him resort to reptilian sniffing to separate kin from the others. This good, this bad. Day with a “T” in it… both the same.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    The more you know

    Bloomberg wants more resources for the IRS, so the government can collect the money it’s owed. The IRS is operating with outdated computer systems from the 1960s, and the IRS literally lacks the resources to audit the complex returns of the rich.

    The IRS budget declined in real terms over the past several years, and it needs a big infusion of money. As just one example, the percentage of tax returns audited dropped from almost 1% in 2010 to 0.5% in 2017. Independent academics have estimated the IRS (without any changes to the tax laws) could raise an extra $100 billion a year with increased enforcement, while at the same time making the system more progressive (most of the extra money collected would come from the affluent).

    Besides the increased revenue, this is a fairness issue. People (and corporations), no matter how wealthy and powerful, should pay what they owe.

    ——-

    Those who benefit most from our society should pay more. Bloomberg has several proposals aimed directly at this issue. He’s calling for a 5% income surtax on superrich households (with incomes over $5 million, from whatever source), taxing capital gains incomes of over $1 million at regular income tax rates, and getting more tax revenues from the estates of the ultrawealthy.

    In line with this general theme, Bloomberg wants to increase the corporate tax rate from 21% to 28%. Combined with strong enforcement and closing some corporate tax loopholes, this would ensure corporations pay their fair share.

    Who doesn’t want the tax code to be fair to punish the wealthy hoarding bastard running dog kkkaptialists?

    • UnCivilServant

      How about, we simplify the tax code.

      Throw out all those social engineering exceptions and deductions and make it so that no tax return need be bigger than a post card.

      • Viking1865

        God Emperor Viking’s Tax Plan is a 5% federal income tax, and a 10% tax on imported goods. That gives you roughly a 1.3 trillion dollar federal budget. No deductions, no credits, no carveouts or exceptions or social engineering. Everyone chips in a little bit for vital government services.

      • invisible finger

        Aw man, you’re taking all the righteousness out of it.

      • robc

        You can guess mine:

        0% income tax
        0% tariff
        0% sales tax
        0% property tax
        3.6% tax on unimproved land value (1.8% to Feds, 0.9% to states, 0.9% to locals). And yes, The Feds would have to write a check to Wyoming/Park Co for 1.8% of the value of Yellowstone.

        No exceptions, not for governments, not for churches, not for anybody.

        I think that works out to about $500B federal budget. (plus another $500B split between state and locals).

      • leon

        Why is the Fed exempt from paying taxes to the States?

      • robc

        ???They arent, I specifically said they have to write Wyoming a check.

      • leon

        Wow…. I totally misread that. My apologies.

      • robc

        No problem, its a weird idea. But I like the idea of the Feds deciding it is better to unload land and collect the tax instead of paying it.

    • Rhywun

      Yeah, this has nothing to do with “fairness” or even “revenue”.

    • Rasilio

      Can you imagine the shitshow that a big money contract to upgrade and replace those old IRS computers would be?

      Of course I think it is VERY highly likely that the tax code is so complex and internally inconsistant that they would very quickly discover that it was technologically impossible to code for

    • Rebel Scum

      this would ensure corporations pay their fair share pass greater cost to consumers.

      • Viking1865

        Of all proggie stupidity, this might be my favorite.

        “Corporations are greedy, evil, monstrous entities that will do anything possible to increase their profits at the expense of everyone else, but they will also pay high corporate taxes out of their profits, without raising prices.”

    • Naptown Bill

      so the government can collect the money it’s owed

      When I read things like this it makes me buy more guns.

    • Pope Jimbo

      In college I worked as a repairman for IBM. One of the big contracts was with the huge regional IRS processing center in Memphis.

      Based on that experience, I can confidently predict that no amount of new computer hardware/infrastructure will improve results. The employees are lazy to the bone and no way they will work any harder for Mini-Mike even with new laptops.

      It would drive me nuts to go on a service call out there because you would see gobs of people that were supposed to be working, just standing around talking. And (this is way back before business casual) they dressed like hobos. Ratty clothes and sweat pants were the norm. And when you finally got to the desk of the person who requested the service call, they would never be there. They’d be away from their desk and it took at least 30 minutes to track them down (you couldn’t do any work until they were at their desk for privacy reasons). And when you were working on their system, you could tell that the last thing they wanted was for you to fix it. Because then they’d have to get back to work.

  45. Juvenile Bluster

    Breaking: Bloomberg drops out of the race, endorses Biden

    • straffinrun

      $500m and all I got was this lousy t shirt.

      • Sensei

        One story I read said $750m!

      • Count Potato

        That must be a nice fucking shirt.

    • Urthona

      That should immensely help Biden. Even if Warren drops out, Bloomberg had more votes and they are more likely to go to Biden.

    • Timeloose

      Wow,

      imagine what that $500M could have done. He could have paid the salaries for a small city or a mid size company for the year.

      • Urthona

        Well he did. I mean they mostly went to advertisers and political staff, but he definitely can say he helped the economy.

      • robc

        And his campaign staff all have contracts thru November, I have heard.

    • leon

      Damn. I’ve been wrong about everything.

      Well see ya Bernie. Hope you make another million on a good book deal.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Not what I hope for him.

  46. Rebel Scum

    Mini-Mike just dropped out and endorsed Senile Joe. I guess big money in politics will be just fine going forward because Orange Man Bad.

    • UnCivilServant

      Aww, he couldn’t take having his views challenged.

      • Urthona

        To be fair, the only reason Bloomberg was in – and he ran much too late — was because it suddenly looked like Biden was dropping the ball.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, he was always the backup if Biden just completely collapsed.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That can still happen.

    • LJW

      If Biden wins the nomination without going through a contested convention, he will win the presidential election.

      • Urthona

        Why do you think that? Biden has a severe enthusiasm and youth problem. I could see him being Hillary Pt.2.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        As we saw in the primaries, young people don’t vote anyways.

        If he gets a delegate majority he’s going to win in November. If he doesn’t, and the Berniebots do what they do, Trump will win.

      • Urthona

        Why do you think that though? I don’t see any evidence of that.

      • Drake

        I agree. How does Biden appeal to people who didn’t vote for Hillary and are generally pleased with Trump? Biden’s now all-in on gun-control. He’s blatantly corrupt and a Deep-State supporter. And, he’s clearly senile – so he’ll just be the puppet for players like Jarrett.

        Trump will mock and expose him in debates.

      • leon

        He is doing an good job at maintaining the African American vote however, and since Bernie had a hard time with that vote, it would have been easier for Trump to try to co-opt it. We’ll see but it seems like Biden would make it tougher on that front for Trump.

      • leon

        I’m not sure it is that cut and dry. Even without a contested convention, there is a large segment of the Democratic Base that will not turn out for Biden. They are Bernie or bust and they don’t care.

      • robc

        The Bernie Bros are staying home.

        Of course, that was part of his problem, they stayed home yesterday too.

      • Q Continuum

        I agree. He’s got enough good feelz left over from Obama that it won’t completely alienate the Berniebots and he’s a blank, inoffensive slate for the suburban mommy crowd. He’ll flip NC for sure, and probably Michigan and PA. That would be enough to win.

        IMO, he’s worse than if Bernie won since he’s a senile, establishment hack who will operate as a marionette.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        He is in no way worse than Bernie. Biden is bad. But Bernie would be the absolute destruction of this country.

      • Q Continuum

        I see it this way: Bernie is so outrageous that long term it would wreck the Dems. Biden is the frog boiler and a return to the progressive strategy that has been so effective for 100 years.

        However, it’s like asking if you’d rather die of Ebola or Smallpox; they both suck ass. Bernie’s ideas are far more dangerous if he got everything he wanted, but Biden rehabilitates the perception of a “moderate” Team Blue and sets the country up for decades of more incremental “progress”.

      • Urthona

        I didn’t realize this was such a widespread opinion that Trump couldn’t beat Biden.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not seeing anything to indicate Gropey Joe as being all that electable. He can’t motivate people to go to rallies, he generates apathy rather than energy. People are going out in absurd numbers to vote in unopposed primaries for Trump, with a number of them having higher turnout than the democrat primary.

        I’m getting the vibe that a lot of people who don’t want to vote Trump will just stay home, and an unenergizing milquetoast candidate like Biden will keep them there.

      • robc

        I agree. He is more electable than Sanders, but I was of the opinion that Sanders was going to be McGovern II – Electric Boogaloo.

      • Not Adahn

        Boogaloo

        Alt-right racist nazi confirmed.

      • Rebel Scum

        more electable than Sanders

        Which is something I find odd. Sanders is a nutjob but he can at least string a sentence together.

      • robc

        Sure, but those sentences praise Castro.

      • leon

        I agree. He’s got enough good feelz left over from Obama that it won’t completely alienate the Berniebots and he’s a blank

        I think that bridge has already been burned. I’ll agree that Biden has a better chance than Bernie against Trump, but i don’t think it’s open and shut. A chunk of the Dem base is alienated, by anyone but bernie being the Nom.

      • Urthona

        I dunno. I think Biden will struggle to build enthusiasm in places Trump flipped. I think it’ll be a good game, but I give advantage to the incumbent.

      • Urthona

        I don’t think that was meant to be a direct reply to you, but yeah.

      • Viking1865

        Man, I don’t know…..I get there were so many Good Feelz when The Lightbringer was in office, but are the suburban mommies really so fucking stupid to vote for Good Feelz over their 401ks? Are the good ol blue collar guys in the Rust Belt really that enamored with Joe Biden that they will ignore the actual economic growth of the past four years?

        I still just don’t see how anyone who took the plunge and voted for Trump in 2016 is actually unhappy with the country four years on. Now, maybe there will be this huge energized leftwing base coming to the polls for the Dem nominee because Orange Man Bad. Maybe the fraud machine is in full swing, all that. But elections are a referendum on the incumbent, and I don’t see how you can have been a worker or investor in this economy and think “We need to go back to Obamas anemic bullshit”.

      • DOOMco

        I really preferred when we had 1% growth.

      • Q Continuum

        “are the suburban mommies really so fucking stupid to vote for Good Feelz over their 401ks?”

        Yes.

      • Urthona

        I think Trump *barely* ekes out the suburban mommies.

        Urban mommies on the other hand? He’s fucked.

      • Rhywun

        All Trump has to do is point out Biden’s actual positions that he expressed during the Dem debates and not let him try to pivot to “the center”.

      • DOOMco

        I don’t think so, even if the Dems go with it on the first ballot.

      • Rasilio

        Wait, you are assuming he is actually healthy enough to make it to November without having to drop out for health reasons

      • straffinrun

        Bernie bots not gonna vote for Biden. Liberals get the bullet, too.

      • straffinrun

        And a billionaire former candidate endorsing Joe is going make them go even more batshit crazy.

      • Urthona

        I play in a local rock band sometimes in clubs around town, and so I wound up having a bunch of social media friends who are far left. They absolutely and under no circumstances will vote for Biden. They hate him almost as much as Trump.

        They *might* vote for Warren, but that’s it.

        I agree with you.

      • straffinrun

        I thought Joe had a decent shot when this kicked off months ago. Now? The Bernie Bots are absolutely convinced this was their turn. Pissing off a bunch of entitled brats is not the way to get them to vote for you.

      • leon

        I have a sample size of 1, but he absolutely hates Biden. He refused to vote for Hillary, and i think he will refuse to vote for Biden too.

      • Naptown Bill

        I’ve been trying to convince my wife of this. The Sanders contingent is not a bunch of Democrats looking for a good nominee, they’re a bunch of far-left radicals looking for the candidate that represents them. They are not Democrats who want to embrace Socialism, they are Socialists sleeping on the Democrats’ couch while they find a place to live. Biden is not a better alternative to Trump for them.

      • R C Dean

        The Sanders contingent is not a bunch of Democrats looking for a good nominee, they’re a bunch of far-left radicals looking for the candidate that represents them.

        Not really. They are a bunch of far-left radicals seeking to complete their takeover of the Democrat Party. The hard left has a deep playbook for taking over institutions, and especially political parties. Much of the hard left’s governance, after all, has been in one-party states, where who controls the party controls the country. That’s their game, not winning relatively free and open elections.

        The Dems invited them in, and now have a very serious problem on their hands. They are too important to purge, and too toxic in elections to let them take the reins. And the hard left won’t sit back and be the moderate’s bitch. This problem is not going away after this election.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        the militant tendency, 40 years on

      • Drake

        Right now Biden is winning all the states where the Democrats have zero chance of flipping in a general election, and losing all the states he would have to carry to have a chance against Trump

    • straffinrun

      If he really wanted to endorse Joe, he should’ve endorsed Bernie.

      • Urthona

        I like your avatar.

        What were we talking about?

  47. The Late P Brooks

    $500m and all I got was this lousy t shirt.

    Excellent.

    Just wait ’til Mike! is Secretary of Commerce. Then we’ll get a thriving economy.

    • Urthona

      Thus far North Korea has the best containment strategy.

      Shoot them.

      Although the fatality rate is 100%.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m wondering if they’re even bothering to use actual disinfectant, or just spraying water around.

      Either way, it’s just posturing – empty theater.

  48. DOOMco

    I think it was the pizza video that did Mike in.

    • Naptown Bill

      I wonder if she has anyone in mind…

  49. Juvenile Bluster

    My Biden-supporting father is incredibly excited about Bloomberg dropping out. He said that Bloomberg should 100% be the secretary of the treasury.

    This is the same man who in 2012 told me that Paul Krugman should be secretary of the treasury.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m sorry about your father’s economics shortcomings.

    • Urthona

      It makes sense. I mean Bloomberg has a lot of money. Therefore he’s good with it.

      Just look at how well he just used half a billion dollars.

      • DOOMco

        That’s the government attitude we need!

    • robc

      Krugman could talk some sense into Trump re: tariffs.

    • straffinrun

      Too bad he didn’t say that Bloomy should be Fed Chair. At least then you could find some agreement on how insane the monetary policy has been. Half a point for Corona. Jeezus.

  50. hayeksplosives

    There is good fossil hunting around Hutchison KS if you like that kind of thing.

    • Raven Nation

      There’s also a highly rated golf course – if you have time.

      • whiz

        Also two disc golf courses.

    • Not Adahn

      Didn’t Roseanne get fired for not knowing she was black?

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Can you imagine the shitshow that a big money contract to upgrade and replace those old IRS computers would be?

    The Internal Revenue Service: brought to you by Amazon Web Services!

    *Commence lamentations*

    • nw

      That would make things simpler. Amazon gets most of my money now anyway.

  52. robc

    Bloomberg out.

    • straffinrun

      Sweet. Did drugs fall out of his ass?

      • robc

        Yeah, yeah, I didnt hit refresh.

  53. CPRM

    So, Money in politics, how’d that play out for Tattoo Bloomberg?

  54. Rebel Scum

    There are too many leftists in my office these days. Currently listening to a pair of Berniebots discuss the results of Sooper Tuesday. One is in admin and one is a project engineer in my department. Neither seem to realize that our industry would be fucked and they wouldn’t have a job if TheBern! happened to get his “revolution”.

    • Rebel Scum

      Never mind all the other anti-constitutionalism/freedom aspects of Bernie’s ideology.

    • Drake

      My sister voted for Obama, then got laid off from her job right after Obamacare passed. Her husband had much fun with that.

    • KSuellington

      I was just looking at a map of where most of Bernie’s donations are coming from. Bernal Heights and the Mission are the zip codes here that have most donated to Bernie. Those are two previously blue collar areas that have been absolutely overrun by the tech elite. We are talking residences in the millions now that would have been a small fraction of that a decade or two back. It seems weird at first that rich techies would be so enamored with a socialist, but then they don’t mind bigger government because they think either they will be the ones running that bigger government or that it at least will be run with their interests very much in mind.

      • Viking1865

        Techies are suckers for central planning. They think you get all the smart people together, and the smart people do smart people things, and then its a great system which runs really really optimally. Techies fundamentally don’t think the knowledge problem is actually a problem, they just think theres not enough data collection and processing.

      • KSuellington

        You just need to gather all the smartest people with all the latest information into a state of the art control center and things will function perfectly.
        https://imgur.com/gallery/02qRwSc

      • Rhywun

        Heh I knew it would be that.

      • KSuellington

        I really dig the mid 70’s vibe of that place. I’m picturing the hot Chilean assistant that would come in with a tray of really cool looking coffee cups and a plaid mini skirt with awesome white boots.

      • Jarflax

        Really? I am picturing the people who wanted those seats getting flying lessons.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    No smoke filled rooms in politics!

  56. Enough About Palin

    “But fuck it, we all deserve to add a little light to our pets’ live.”

    I might buy it.

  57. Not Adahn

    So now that there are only four candidates running that have committed delegates, does that mean Tulsi will be allowed in the debatesLOOLOLOOLLOLOLOL

    Sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face.

    • Urthona

      Tulsi is the Kasich of 2020.

      • robc

        She is proving to be the most libertarian of the Dem candidates. Struggling to get 1% and ignored by the media.

      • Urthona

        Yeah, although I was referencing that the fact that she is just sorta hanging around despite being really unpopular.

      • robc

        Just like libertarians.

      • Not Adahn

        If she would just get on camera and say “I really like getting high and then being railed in the butt” she would not only ensure her win in the general, but would completely mainstream libertarianism.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    I’m having a hard time believing Biden is anything close to a slam dunk in the general election. I think a lot of people (a big chunk of whom are presumptive Biden voters) who did not vote for Trump last time around are going to vote for him this time.

    As hard as the media are humping the story, I don’t think very many people are going to buy the “Coronavirus is Trump’s fault” bullshit.

    • KSuellington

      They need some angle after the failed Russia! Investigation and the pathetic impeachment. They will have something else in 3 months from now.

    • Urthona

      I think Biden needs to capitalize on his momentum today by praising Cuba’s high literacy rate.

      • Tejicano

        I’m sure he’d reference it to their focus on spelling or phonics… you know, stuff that only applies to English.

  59. KSuellington

    Well, it looks like I got the result I wanted in the election yesterday. California put up a proposition that would have gutted the original Prop 13 passed in the 70’s that capped property taxes. In a pure coincidence they named it Prop 13. This one you had to vote against if you didn’t want your property tax raised. Fuckers, they purposely put it on the ballot during a primary where Repubs would be sitting out due to not having anyone in the primary. It’s a very small victory against the voracious thieves, but I’ll take anything at this point.

    • Rhywun

      Surprising result.

    • leon

      Maybe they were hoisted on their own petard and all the socialist voting for Bernie voted against Prop 13 thinking they were voting to raise property taxes.

      • KSuellington

        Could be that. They even had “school” in the title of the thing and a For the Children plea behind it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Just more proof that those Rethuglicans are still running the state.

      • KSuellington

        There are still several left that haven’t yet departed to Texas. Until they are purged the Revolution cannot commence.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      It seems like every election there is some proposition to spend more money on schools. You’d think they have enough by now.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      I’m going to need more labels.

      • straffinrun

        Get what you pay for. :p

  60. The Late P Brooks

    All Trump has to do is point out Biden’s actual positions that he expressed during the Dem debates and not let him try to pivot to “the center”.

    If I were a Republican campaign consultant, I’d be ripping quotes from those debate tapes.

    “Do you really want these people running the country? Do you really believe Joe Biden can keep the hard liners under control? Do you seriously think you’ll be better off in four years?”

    • leon

      A video of Joe Biden raising his hand in response to the question “Would you give free healthcare to illegal immigrants” ought to be enough to sink him.

      • Viking1865

        He said he’d make Robert Francis “Hell yeah we’re going to take your AR15s” O’Rourke his Gun Control Czar.

        The whole “Biden is a moderate” is based entirely on the premise that a crusty old white guy must be a moderate because reasons. There’s not a single moderate Democrat, they’re all commies, because where else is there to go from here? It’s not 1910, it’s not even 1950. It’s been over 80 years since the New Deal, it’s been over 50 since the Great Society. EPA is 50 years old.

        A moderate Democrat would say “We’ve got the New Deal, and the Great Society, and they are not going away. We have all the tools we need to feed our hungry, educate our kids, keep our aged comfortable in their retirement, keep our air and water clean. What we need is competent administration of this wonderful federal government that provides so many benefits. The war is over, we won.”

        Fracking bans, gun bans, weird sexual shit, socialized medicine, all that shit isn’t “moderate” by any definition of the term.

      • Urthona

        Well he doesn’t want to nationalize 60% of the economy, so he’s moderate. By comparison.

      • R C Dean

        Fracking bans, gun bans, weird sexual shit, socialized medicine, all that shit isn’t “moderate” by any definition of the term.

        Trump’s campaign in a nutshell. Well, except for the weird tweets and personal attacks.

    • DOOMco

      This is the correct strategy.

    • Rebel Scum

      I’d be ripping quotes from those debate tapes.

      1. gov’t benefits for illegal aliens
      2. Ban/confiscate arms in common use despite Heller.
      3. O’care even though it has been dismantled by the courts.
      4. Raise middle-class taxes.
      5. Endless regulation.
      6. etc

      He is not a ‘moderate’.

  61. Not Adahn

    How’s that Burisma investigation going?

    • leon

      QUID PRO QUO!!!

      • Jarflax

        I had a prospective client call me the other day who kept repeating “Quid pro quo” as he angrily ‘described’ his situation (and by described I mean wasted 10 minutes of my life babbling) Initially I thought he was accusing an unspecified client of mine of malfeasance, so I didn’t terminate the call, but after 10 minutes I finally realized that he wanted to hire me to go after “the people who had sold him this damn house.”
        Which 1. Isn’t what I do and 2. is hard when your basis for the suit is that your lender is now foreclosing so the people that sold you the house must have sold you a defective house.

      • KSuellington

        He must just be using the alternative definition of quid pro quo. The one that means, “I fucked up and now other people must pay.” Much like howleftists have changed the definition of fascism from government and large industry melding together to control the economy to “bad people doing things I don’t like.” Words mean whatever I say they mean.

  62. LJW

    Had to step away from the site for a bit. Regarding my Biden will win comment. Everyone who replied pretty much summed up my argument. The Obama good feelz, white suburban women, and the TDS will be enough to take down Trump. The Bernie bots will still mostly vote for Biden. Those that won’t, weren’t likely to vote in the election anyways.

    • R C Dean

      The Obama good feelz,

      are well back in the rearview mirror.

      white suburban women,

      I can’t see Trump losing ground with the soccer moms compared to 2016.

      and the TDS

      I can’t see TDS costing Trump anyone compared to 2016.

      Its true, I think, that most people mainly vote “against” rather than “for”, but having a candidate people want to support is still part of the equation. In any event, I am firmly convinced that there are very few actual “swing” voters. People either vote for the party they’ve always voted for, or they stay home. Elections are turnout contests. And right now, it looks like the Repubs have that running in their favor.

      I always caveat election predictions with “depending on events”, and we have a big fucking black swan circling the landing area right now. Who knows what impact the Kung Flu will have. At a minimum, it will be bad for the economy, and its hard to see how that isn’t bad for Trump.

    • Jarflax

      I don’t think you are correct. I don’t see Biden energizing the people Obama pulled, and I think Trump is actually going to do just as well or better with the blue collar vote this time. The things that people hate about Trump are pluses in a lot of the rust belt, Biden is not winning the south in the general election.

    • R C Dean

      One other caveat:

      The 2018 elections saw the Dems beta testing their vote manufacturing machine. And it worked pretty damn well, in some states at least. If they can export that machine to swing states, that could flip the election in states where its close. And it was damn close in some swing states last time.

    • Tejicano

      If the Dems are stupid/looney enough to let groppin’ Joe debate Trump I expect that Trump will hold back just enough to show how addled Biden is without generating a lot of sympathy votes for the old fool.

      Biden doesn’t excite anybody and the Dems need turnout in every state to have a hope at all.

      Trump’s base will show up to vote much more than the average blue team voter will.

      • straffinrun

        Trump’s base will show up to vote much more than the average blue team voter will.

        That’s true. The media and team blue managed to eliminate any fatigue people had with Trump by not letting up on the RACIST! NAZI! SEXIST! TRANSPHOBE! shit for 3 straight years. They have shown that you are not welcome in team blue tent if you liked Trump ever. It was the dumbest track possible for them to take if they wanted to win in 2020. People would’ve been sick of Trump by now, but they had to go and make it personal for all his supporters.

      • Ozymandias

        Bingo. Agree completely. At this point, if you’re a Trump supporter, you’re voting on self-preservation, if nothing else.
        What have the Dems said they’re going to do to you if they get power?
        That means to me that Trump will have at least what he got in 2016 +/- some small amount. Then ask yourself these questions:
        (1) did either Trump do enough with the economy and/or did the Dems do enough stupid shit (impeachment, MUH RUSSIAA!!11!!) to push any numbers Trump’s way? My personal “lived truth” is that I know a good number of people who, like me, didn’t vote for him last time but will this time, precisely because of what the Dems have said and done.
        (2) Is the final D candidate going to bring something more or less than what Hillary did? Excitement, buzz, experience, whatever. Biden or Bernie bring exactly zero of anything. Both are barely coherent old, white men with serious medical issues pushing 80. Biden doesn’t even have Obama’s endorsement FFS!! Bernie is a commie, and blacks don’t seem to like him much, either. Biden at least appears to have that going for him… if he doesn’t have a third stroke during the campaign, start bleeding from his eyes (again), publicly grope someone’s wife (something he seems incapable of refraining from doing), AND there’s still UKRAINE lingering in the background, with the possibility of Hunter going off the wagon the whole time. Biden will also be the Establishment Dem who stole the DNC nom from the Bernie Bros and they have al the same zeal as Herself’s army of sycophants screaming, but now “IT’S HIS TURN!!!!”
        (3) The Vote Rigging thing – I don’t think there was ever, anyone, who had better control over the DNC than the Clinton Machine (still do, to a big extent); she spent an ungodly amount of money on her campaign; and she still couldn’t beat Trump.
        (4) There will be nowhere near the kind of 3rd party voting like we had last time (that’s just my opinion, but the Libertarians have no one and there is no one else even on the radar running in third parties. Trump won in part as a result of a unique desire last election for an “outsider” candidate, but I just don’t see anyone third party having the impact they did last time (covering the vote gap between the major party candidates in a number of key states).

      • Rebel Scum

        Trump will hold back just enough to show how addled Biden is without generating a lot of sympathy

        That would be the thing to do. He has to jab and point stuff out without coming off as mean. It will be interesting to see how that goes, assuming Biden is coronated.

      • straffinrun

        Trump is going to be “mean” to him in the worst possible way: by treating him like the senile old man he is.

      • leon

        Why are black people voting against their best interests?

        GAHHHH I hate this in almost any form of incantation!

  63. Gadfly

    So apparently Rand Paul is trying to talk some sense into Trump regarding the Patriot Act, using the FISA abuse as an in. Good luck to him on that.

    • R C Dean

      I can see Trump taking a hard line on FISA abuse. Where that might go, I haven’t a clue.

    • leon

      Senator Rand Paul
      @RandPaul
      ·
      15h
      Just got back from the White House. @realDonaldTrump
      made it abundantly clear that he will NOT accept a clean reauthorization of the Patriot Act without significant FISA reform! I agree with him!

      My Bernie friend hates Rand, and i wonder how much of it stems from his willingness to stroke Trumps Ego in order to get things done. And his opposition to the investigations of Trump by the deep state.

      • Rebel Scum

        stroke Trumps Ego in order to get things done

        On the whole it is good that the Dems did not learn this approach and instead suffer from severe TDS.

      • robc

        The funny thing is, if the Dems had been willing to work with Trump, they would have been able to pass a bunch of horrible shit together. They could have go some moderate gun control bills passed. And things like that. But they werent willing to work with him at all, and there ya go.

      • robc

        Kim Kardassian was more successful than the elected Dems.

      • Rebel Scum

        T&A goes a long way with Bad Orange Man.

      • AlmightyJB

        Gridlock always is the best case scenario.

      • Tejicano

        Given Trump’s past as a life-long democrat I was, at first, worried that he would reach out to get some kind of coalition going with the democratic party and compromise to get things done. When they went into TDS across the board I started to relax a bit, knowing that he would dig in his heels.

    • Urthona

      Rand Paul is a highly underrated politician.

      Usually libertarians and quasi-libertarians are bad at this shit, but he has managed to worm his way at least up to a Trump influencer. I think he’s done a shrewd job.

      • Tundra

        Which is precisely why I don’t want him in the big chair. He’s way more valuable where he is.

      • dontreadonme

        That’s exactly what I told him before he ran and when I saw him a couple of months ago. I think he has not just resigned himself to the role, but actually takes some pride in it and has had a lot more influence on certain issues than most people know. Fingers crossed he can keep it up. The opportunities in a second term abound.

  64. The Late P Brooks

    A moderate Democrat would say “We’ve got the New Deal, and the Great Society, and they are not going away. We have all the tools we need to feed our hungry, educate our kids, keep our aged comfortable in their retirement, keep our air and water clean. What we need is competent administration of this wonderful federal government that provides so many benefits. The war is over, we won.”

    The imaginary “moderate Democrat” in my head is still capable, on some level, of distinguishing between stated intent and real world observable effects.

    I don’t see anybody on Team Blue who qualifies.

    • Viking1865

      I mean, I honestly think that a guy who’s whole campaign was “We like the things the federal government does right now in 2020, we just need to get the budget balanced, work out the kinks, run it smoothly. We don’t need to take anyones guns, we don’t need to raise taxes. We have plenty of money in government hands to do all the things that the Democratic Party stands for, we just need to do the hard work of doing it, not the easy work of screeching about the nutty leftist cause of the month” would win in a landslide.

  65. Rebel Scum

    A bold strategy…

    More than 450 mostly leftist academics and activists sent a letter to Vice President Mike Pence on Monday listing a series of demands for fighting the spread of the coronavirus in the United States, including ensuring “immigration enforcement-free zones so that immigration status does not prevent a person from seeking care.”

    “The COVID-19 response should not be linked to immigration enforcement in any manner,” the letter stated. “It will undermine individual and collective health if individuals do not feel safe to utilize care and respond to inquiries from public health officials, for example during contact tracing.”

    “Similar enforcement-free zones have been declared during hurricanes and other emergencies, including after the September 11 terrorist attacks,” the letter stated. “These policies should be clearly and unequivocally articulated to the public by the federal, state, and local governments.”

    Also, don’t periodically wash your hands and for the love of god touch your face at every opportunity.

    • R C Dean

      The COVID-19 response should not be linked to immigration enforcement in any manner

      Let’s throw away perhaps the most tried and true tactic for controlling the spread of infectious diseases originating in other countries.

      Similar enforcement-free zones have been declared during hurricanes and other emergencies, including after the September 11 terrorist attacks

      Gosh, those are exactly like an infectious disease of largely unknown transmissability and mortality originating overseas. I’m sold!

    • Not Adahn

      Demands. Tee hee.

  66. Not Adahn

    I am reading the the leader in the LP delegate race is “none of the above”

    *Joyfully waves tiny American flags*

  67. Certified Public Asshat

    Wow:Look at the results in Colorado tonight so farBernie Sanders—238,345Mike Bloomberg—146,907Joe Biden—147,562Total for the three front runners: 532,814Donald Trump—569,441No one HAD to turn out for the incumbentBut he still outdid the top 3 DemocratsIncredible.— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) March 4, 2020

    • Fatty Bolger

      Yeah, he’s getting big turnout numbers all over the country.

    • Urthona

      Colorado was thought to have gone blue.

      These turnout figures for Dems have been pretty shitty though so far.

    • B.P.

      I made this comment yesterday…. I live in Colorado. On Monday night, amidst a flurry of Sooper Tuesday Dem ads on teevee, Trump had an ad that must’ve run 90-120 seconds. It went on forever. I wonder if some pollsters inside Team Trump think that Colorado is in play in the general. And this state is blue as hell now.

  68. The Late P Brooks

    Also, don’t periodically wash your hands and for the love of god touch your face at every opportunity.

    Don’t forget window- and doorknob-licking.

  69. The Late P Brooks

    They are not Democrats who want to embrace Socialism, they are Socialists sleeping on the Democrats’ couch while they find a place to live. Biden is not a better alternative to Trump for them.

    Nicely put.

    Also- how can the champions of the poor and oppressed continue their relentless drumbeat of “Not fair not fair not fair!” if their guy has the tiller. The last thing the Berniebots, and the SQUADron want is to no longer have President Cartoon Villain to rheeeee! about. What are they going to do, involve themselves in the minutiae of policy?

    • leon

      What are they going to do, involve themselves in the minutiae of policy?

      Hardly. They will do what they do best. Ignore policy until another Cartoon Villain Republican is elected again.

  70. leon

    I found this Particular Thread an enligtining bit of Twitter Retardation

    Senator Rand Paul
    @RandPaul
    ·
    16h
    Just got back from the White House. @realDonaldTrump
    made it abundantly clear that he will NOT accept a clean reauthorization of the Patriot Act without significant FISA reform! I agree with him!

    Travis Allen
    @TravisAllen02
    Replying to
    @RandPaul
    and
    @realDonaldTrump
    He’s said this before. Looking forward to your legislative defeat Rand.

    Ottertruth
    @LG24321
    ·
    16h
    Replying to
    @TravisAllen02

    @RandPaul
    and
    @realDonaldTrump
    Where was the call for FISA reform when Trump wasn’t in office and it didn’t pertain to him ? Truly weird rand Paul is trying to be the biggest sycophant of them all .

    Travis Allen
    @TravisAllen02
    ·
    16h
    Republicans and Democrats have long supported the Patriot Act and FISA. Trump is only supporting what you called “FISA reform” because Trump incorrectly believes the FISA court authorized surveillance against Carter Page based off the Steele Dossier. There is no evidence for this

    • Rebel Scum

      There is no evidence for this

      Except for the direct evidence for this.