Wednesday Morning Links

by | Mar 18, 2020 | Daily Links | 506 comments

Day 7: My internet continues to have disruptions in service, going completely out while I was in the middle of sending an important work email.  My children are unable to watch Netflix and are now restless.  I now know how Ann Frank felt.

 

 

The end of days continues apace with the Senate likely passing the 100 plus billion bill the House put together.  Rand is attempting to push through an amendment to the bill.

 

The tax payment deadline has been delayed 90 days, unfortunately not indefinitely.

 

Tom Hanks Disease (THD) has now been officially reported in all 50 states with West Virginia finally getting its first case.

 

The modern left is still batshit insane.

 

Trump closes border to migrants and asylum seekers.

 

Amazon stops stocking non-essential items at distribution centers.

 

Biden crushes Sanders in Florida, Illinois, and Arizona.

 

Obama DOJ officials privately told Mueller they were alarmed by FBI treatment of Flynn.

 

John Durham’s investigation into the origins of the Russian collusion hoax set to be done by end of summer.

 

Former Democrat Gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum is going to rehab after being caught in a hotel room drunk with a gay escort who overdosed on meth.  Good luck Andrew, at explaining to your wife and kids how booze turned you gay.

 

That’s all I got for today, I’m going to go work from home, like I always do, while finding ways to keep my children occupied and occasionally check in on the news to see if the world can get anymore fucking crazy than it already is. And oh yeah, here’s a song.

 

About The Author

Banjos

Banjos

Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.

506 Comments

  1. Nephilium

    Were you that worried about hippies showing up here?

    • Banjos

      Drum circles can start anywhere. Better safe than sorry.

      • Nephilium

        I’m pretty sure drum circles have been banned in Ohio due to the Kung Flu. As a side note, it’s been over 5 days since I last traveled, no fever, no cough, no runny nose (more then the usual sinus issues due to temperature and seasonal changes).

      • robc

        Runny nose is a sign that it ISNT COVID-19.

        That is not one of the standard symptoms.

      • Fourscore

        Exceptions to every rule. Oh, oh. Sounds like you are safe, avoid the drum circles anyway.

      • robc

        I was looking at a COVID vs cold vs flu chart this morning. I pretty clearly have a cold. I get them every spring/fall, so wouldn’t have thought anything else except for the current environment.

        My county jumped from 1 to 3 confirmed cases yesterday.

      • Nephilium

        So a 300% increase? Is it time to panic now?

      • robc

        Yes, yes it is.

      • Gender Traitor

        …drum circles have been banned in Ohio

        Yellow Springs hardest hit.

        (Too local? Tres’ll get it.)

      • Tres Cool

        Heh.

        Ive mentioned it before but- I used to do work for Navistar. The office at the time was in Mason, so we’d go up 68 to get there. On a nice spring afternoon, it was fun to cruise through YS, looking at the emerging fauna. Bare feet, sundresses, and floppy hats abounded.
        And nary a bra.

      • Gender Traitor

        ‘sup, Homey? Hey – carryout from Cafe Terra was made of nom! Mainly Greek, so I got a gyro. (No tabouli. Said they were having trouble getting bulgur wheat.) Mr. GT got an entree with gyro meat on pita chips & some baba ghanoush and raved about it. Nice folks! They’d been open all of a week when this hit. : /

      • Agent Cooper

        Dave Chapelle and his shotgun are there.

      • R C Dean

        I got home from air travel on Friday.

        Not dead yet.

        Pissed off about living in a country full of idiots, but not dead.

    • Banjos

      Mornin’

  2. Animal

    The modern left is still batshit insane.

    Which statement is a grave disservice to the batshit insane everywhere.

    • Subwoofer

      They want to attribute 4.125m coronavirus deaths to Trump.

      That is absolutely batshit insanity. They’re gleefully assuming millions will die that they can prosecute Trump for? This is the kind of thinking that leads to a boogaloo.

      If less than 2.475m Americans from the virus, is every life under that a life Trump personally saved?

      • robc

        That was my thought. If I was on twitter, I would have asked. Or, you know, wait until its over then point and laugh.

      • JD is Unemployed

        This desire for the President to be an absolute omnipotent dictator seems to muddy their understanding of the fact that he isn’t (not just yet, anyway).

      • J. Frank Parnell

        I’ve heard people joke about a lot of “quarantine babies” being born in December, so it should be “lives saved or created”.

      • cyto

        This is brilliant.

      • cyto

        Everything about that tweet thread is insane.

        First, if they are truly progressives, the confessions of a career prosecutor saying he spent his days looking for novel ways to apply homicide laws to people should have caused the formation of a lynch mob, not a cheering section.

        But just on basic math and principle they are venal.

        They are postulating that there was an expected case fatality rate of 1.5% before Trump, but a 4% CFR because of Trump. Neither of those numbers is based in reality (heck didn’t they claim 6%, then 4% before?) But beyond that, not a single action has been aimed at the CFR, beyond the notion of “spreading the curve”. They have aimed at slowing the spread.

        Well, what the heck else do they want the feds to do? Start shooting people who are infected?

        These are the people who really need to be culled from the herd. They are the kind of folks who apply to work at the SS in 1937.

  3. Fourscore

    The tax payment deadline has been delayed 90 days

    I thought I was being a “good citizen” by paying my tax bill ASAP. Still the same dumbass I have always been.

    • UnCivilServant

      I wanted my interest free loan to the government repaid, so I filed already.

      • Not Adahn

        My FedGov refund has been processed and deposited. My NY one, nos so much…

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It always takes forever to get the state money. The money I owed the IRS disappeared the next day. I’ll see my deposit from VA sometime between now and mid-April

    • Nephilium

      When I was able to get my withholding right, I’d apply for refunds immediately, and set payments to be on April 15th. No sense giving them money for a longer period then they’re going to force me to.

      • robc

        Got my Federal and SC refunds already. I owe KY money, so that is going to wait until April (or maybe July).

      • Nephilium

        I’m still waiting on my state check (they refuse to direct deposit unless you pay them to electronically file). My Federal return has been in my bank for a while now as I keep adjusting my W-4 to avoid a refund next year.

      • robc

        2019 was my last year with partial write-offs from the brewery, so getting my withholdings right was hard.

        In 2017 and 2018, it was easy, I was “exempt”.

      • Nephilium

        The change in the withholding schedule last year got me an over $800 refund this year.

        I was not happy about it.

      • Tonio

        Which is BS, of course. Electronic filing and deposits save them money.

    • l0b0t

      This was the first year in maybe a decade that FedGov hasn’t confiscated my return to apply to a defaulted student loan. They let the $6 get direct deposited to my account.

      • Festus

        *grumbles* Lucky! I work a shit job for a shit wage and every tax season I somehow end up in arrears to the Gubmint. If I ever thought that I’d pay it back I might give a shit about it.

      • Tonio

        Careful, Festus. At some point they will garnish your wages to collect what you “owe.” You have no recourse when that happens.

    • WTF

      I will owe a payment, but since waiting doesn’t reduce the payment and I can work from home indefinitely and not take a financial hit, I don’t see the advantage in waiting until July.

      • Nephilium

        The massive amounts of interest you could earn?

      • WTF

        “Massive”? LOL

  4. Festus

    Mornin’ Banjos! I assume the kidlets are home from the indoctrination camp? Such entertain! Many boredom!

    • Banjos

      Mornin’, I see it as an experiment in homeschooling.

      • Festus

        I liked that meme yesterday. First day of home school going according to plan and the Mom is holding up a whiteboard that states “Taxation Is Theft”.

      • Festus

        Have to add from the dead thread – Youngest Daughter and her family are locked up in self quarantine for two weeks. Her kids aren’t much older than yours. Pray for Banjos!

      • Banjos

        We’ll be fine. We live in an area where we can go outside and manage to keep a distance from other humans if need be.

      • robc

        I ran into a friend from HS a few years back. Him and his wife (who was his HS girlfriend) had 6 or 7 boys. He said they were easy, they lived on about 5 acres, he would release them into the field in the morning and they would come back to eat at night.

      • Banjos

        Yup, it’s amazing how easy parenting is when you don’t take it upon yourself to monitor every second of their lives. We tried doing that where we live, but unfortunately had some crazy bitch call the police on us. The police told us we did nothing wrong but we still stopped letting them go into the neighborhood on their own as the same crazy bitch threatened to call CPS. Dealing with CPS is a risk I’m not willing to take. So now we just let them play in the backyard by themselves.

      • robc

        You have seen the stuff from the woman (I forget her name) who basically does that with her kids in NYC. That freaks some people out.

      • Nephilium

        My sister and BIL just bought a house that has a backyard that is adjacent to an Ohio park. I have a feeling there’s going to be an entire city built in those woods (by the bored neighborhood chillens) in a couple of months.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This is why I insist on some acreage. Gah, that such a frustrating situation!

      • Festus

        Daughter #1 just got shat upon from CPS because her kids were coming home from school to an empty house for an hour or two. This is out in a rural area, cameras are set and everything seemed ticketty-boo until one soccer mom reported her. Fuck I hate people. This is on an acreage 20 miles from the city. Envy knows no bounds.

      • Festus

        Eldest one is 15. Ponder that on the Tree of Woe.

      • SDF-7

        If this doesn’t thread right – it is meant to reply to Festus…

        What the hell? My whole generation or so were called “latch-key kids” because that was the new normal — kids get off the bus and stay home for an hour or two until the parents get home from work… we were all fine. Well, other than growing up and hanging out here… 😉

        On the whole roaming vs. CPS vs. helicoptering — yeah, that’s a bit of a tug of war in our house. I want to let the boy roam — his mom is worried someone will call us on it. And both of us assume CPS will be tyrants given a chance, so I can understand her concern there. We compromise by telling him to stay in the subdivision at least…

      • juris imprudent

        Thank the gods I’m past the spawning and rearing age. If the state insisted on fucking with me it would be because of the dead CPS agents decorating my curtilage.

      • Rhywun

        In the big city I see kids that age playing on the sidewalks, in parks, and whatnot all the time. I think there are fewer busybodies here than in any “subdivision”.

      • Tejicano

        Another benefit of living in Japan. I let me two kids (9 and 11) get on their bikes and ride around the neighborhood the way I did when I was their age. The Japanese version of CPS would not get involved over something like that – it’s pretty much the norm here.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I think there are fewer busybodies here than in any “subdivision”.

        That wouldn’t surprise me at all. Suburban HOA-laden subdivisions are petri dishes of petty authoritarianism.

      • Sensei

        Tejicano – I love seeing pictures of young Japanese schoolchildren walking by themselves to school for the first time to school as they learn how to be independent.

        I try to imagine that happening here with children that young and just laugh…

      • Gadfly

        Daughter #1 just got shat upon from CPS because her kids were coming home from school to an empty house for an hour or two. … Eldest one is 15. Ponder that on the Tree of Woe.

        What? 15 is basically an adult. I’m just a millennial and I recall being responsible for my younger brother from age 10, no need for parents to be home. Teenagers worked, drove, and did much outside of the supervision of adults. There’s too much infantilization of the youth these days (and get off my lawn!).

      • Charles Easterly

        “We’ll be fine. We live in an area where we can go outside and manage to keep a distance from other humans if need be.”

        I know a mother of three who was attempting to earn her Master’s Degree. When her children became disruptive to her efforts she would (if I recall correctly from one of her daughters) suggest activities such as “run around the house three times” and when they had accomplished that task “hop around the house on one foot”. I think there may have been singing the “ABCs” and other childhood songs involved as well.
        Evidently the physical activities depleted the children’s’ energies sufficiently to establish a more restful household.

      • Mojeaux

        suggest activities such as “run around the house three times”

        I did that with my son, that and run up and down the stairs 10 times or something ridiculous.

      • cyto

        A good one I use is “you have no legs… go get X item” as a game. They have to use their arms to pull themselves around. Stairs is a good bonus. Bunk beds are great too…. makes it really tough.

        Day 5 of lockdown. Two or more months to go. Sheesh.

      • Ozymandias

        My paternal grandmother used to regale us (and make everyone blush) by loudly proclaiming that she used to parent her sons (my father and his two brothers) by “making ’em run around the house until they were exhausted so I wouldn’t have to worry about ’em playin’ with their little peckers and save me from cleaning all those damn socks.” I had no idea what that meant back then, but I knew from the reactions of my dad and uncles clearing out of the kitchen red-faced that she had said something heap powerful.

  5. l0b0t

    That article about Senator Paul was in no way slanted against him or biased or partisan or anything of the sort. It was written by chaotic neutral scribes dedicated to the truth wherever it leads.

    • CPRM

      What do you mean? I thought it was a glowing review, made me like him a bit more.

      • Drake

        I already like him a lot and it was just more confirmation that he’s my guy.

    • UnCivilServant

      If they mentioned what the amendment was, I missed it.

      • WTF

        The sources said Paul is forcing a vote on his amendment, which would “require a social security number for purposes of the child tax credit, and to provide the President the authority to transfer funds as necessary, and to terminate United States military operations and reconstruction activities in Afghanistan.”

        I fail to see how any of that is controversial.

      • robc

        Honestly, while I favor the 3rd part, it isnt germane to this bill and shouldnt have been tacked on.

      • Tonio

        ^This. I thought Paul was a fan of “clean” bills.

      • Festus

        He’s just as much a swamper as all the rest. He has pretty idears but when the bread gets baked he’s just another cunte.

      • SDF-7

        I didn’t care enough to go look it up — but maybe he’s spinning that as “If we’re going to spend that much, it has to come from somewhere — so get out of Afghanistan and use *that* money”. It would fit….

      • Gadfly

        That’s exactly how he’s spinning it. And in all honesty, I’m OK with that, even though I like clean bills as well, because the expenditures they are talking about are so extravagant that the question of how to pay for it is entirely germane.

    • JD is Unemployed

      In this particular instance I stand, once more, with Rand. He’s possibly the smartest pol in the US at any given moment.

      • Festus

        *Jap-tackles JD*

      • juris imprudent

        You do have to hand it to Kentucky, managing to elect two senators, from the same party, at opposite polarity.

      • Gdragon

        You can’t fool Remy , he knows exactly what you’re trying to do

      • bacon-magic

        JD is Right

  6. Nephilium

    Joy. The primary company I support is also shifting to WFH. I’m already getting e-mails about their VPN issues, AD passwords, and software installation (none of which I have access to help with).

    Fuck, I may take some of the PTO I’ve cancelled just to ignore everything.

    • Timeloose

      I’m worried that the vpn and Webex bandwidth is not going to be up to snuff for the next few weeks.

      • Nephilium

        It is not for most companies, nor for most communities. I spent yesterday explaining to lots of people that intermittent issues calling is not an issue with the phone system, but with the Telcos who aren’t ready for the doubling (or more) of their expected peak bandwidth.

      • Fourscore

        Email from my youngest grand daughter, she’s a sub teacher in WI, just got the word to start her home teaching, this is her first time gig, she wants to talk to me. She’s a lib but not a Glib but she’s getting closer.

        I’ve told her in the past to not let a good education stand in the way of success. I think she’s getting closer on that too.

      • JD is Unemployed

        In that case you’ll have to get your snuff on VHS and DVD like the old days.

      • Rhywun

        Sounds like an opportune time to reconsider whether certain meetings are really necessary….

      • Nephilium

        You’d think. I’ve got several requests from people all trying to spin up WFH agents asking for calls to discuss the issues… without saying what their issues are. Having me get on a call for your VPN issues, isn’t going to do any good.

    • Sensei

      Sensei was just informed that my company will go 100% WFH with only essential employees exempted (i,e mail room, security, etc.).

      I may just go nuts… And naturally my ancient RSA hard token expires at the end of next month so I will be on the phone with my tech support getting set up with a soft token for God knows how long. I’m sure they will break something in the process as well.

      • WTF

        My company decided to go WFH last Thursday. I dislike WFH, it’s much easier for me to get things done in the office, without my dogs bugging the shit out of me all day.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah, I start a new position at the end of the month – where (it sounds like) I’ll be in a “mission-essential” role for the time being. I’m fine working from home right now but sometime before the end of the month I need to get into my office, pull out my personal stuff and turn in some badges, tokens, etc. Would have done it last week if I had known, but I left early for an appt and the expectation of a long drill weekend.

        Just emailed security this morning to see if there’s any sort of plan.

  7. l0b0t

    Went to the local brewery yesterday to get my growlers filled in case Deblasio makes good on his threat to banish everyone in NYC to their homes. They built a counter right at the front door, dragged their reach-in up there as well and were only doing growlers and packed beer sales. I’ll pile on and echo that the economic consequences of this panic will be far more painful than the Tom Hanks Disease itself.

    • Nephilium

      Department of Health here asked (per the staff) to not refill already used growlers, but to sell only new ones here in CLE. Of all the things in the world I need, more empty growlers are not among them.

      Never mind that I keep Star-San in the growlers I bring out with me…

      • JD is Unemployed

        Growler, to me, is a colloquial term for an unshorn lady’s part.

      • Nephilium

        In the US, it refers to a jug used to buy beer on tap (64 oz/2 liters), there’s also crowlers (32 oz cans, seamed after filling) and howlers (half growlers – 32 oz glass).

      • JD is Unemployed

        Neat.

      • l0b0t

        I knew Roger’s Profanisaurus had a definition –

        .”A semi-submerged dreadnought, nine tenths of which lies hidden below the surface ” OR, interestingly, ” the sort of meat and potato pie sold from one of the various catering outlets inside the ground at Gigg lane, Bury in the mid 1980’s. So called because within 30 minutes of eating the said pie ones stomach would begin to growl “

        My search for that led me to this thread, wherein I learned that in the North Country, a growler is also a pork pie.

        https://www.northstandchat.com/showthread.php?248249-A-Growler

      • robc

        Any chance that they come back like Rangers or are they just gonna be dead?

      • Raven Nation

        There’s already a phoenix club: https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/51584394

        But they probably won’t be at the old stadium.

        Of course, if this virus thing goes on long enough, there’s going be a bunch of lower-division clubs in England & Scotland go belly up. The EFL is already asking for bail outs.

      • Pine_Tree

        I spent a winter working in Bury back in my early 20s. Went to work in the dark/snow/slush, and back to hotel in the dark/snow/slush. On weekends I occasionally drove to somewhere else that was also wet and cold to be a tourist (York, Conwy, Beaumaris).

      • Raven Nation

        Is York Minster as spectacular as the reports?

      • Pine_Tree

        Yep. And back then (don’t know about today) you could climb the stairs and get in/on the roof at parapet level, too. Other cool stuff – the walls and walks of Chester, being literally the only person in Beaumaris Castle, feeling like I was going to be blown off the Menai bridge…

      • SDF-7

        Hmmm… you’d be really interesting on a US Navy carrier then.

      • Lackadaisical

        definitely brings a different image to mind about growlers being filled. ..

    • Banjos

      As fucked up as it sounds, I’m very much concerned by the safety of children right now. There will definitely be an increase in instances of child abuse. There are a lot of parents who are not use to raising their own children being forced to in a stressful situation.

      • Nephilium

        /goes to argue

        /remembers all the strip clubs are shut down

        Fuck…

      • l0b0t

        It doesn’t sound fucked up at all (to be concerned, that is). I dote on my kids and love them more than anything on Earth but, they’re currently driving me to distraction with their giddy excitement about not having to go back to school for (at least) a month. I’m reminded often of my uncle’s threat, when watching a very young l0b0t, to nail my foot to a board and let me play in the yard.

      • Pine_Tree

        Heck, apparently a whole lot of them never even had plans to feed ’em.

      • Tonio

        School systems are still handing out free breakfasts and lunches in this area. One bag containing a lunch (for today) and breakfast for the next. Someone has to go and get those lunches, and have at least one child with them; so much for social distancing.

      • robc

        Ditto here.

      • Festus

        Hadn’t thought deeply about that. Passing reference and all. This could be bad for apartment-dwellers.

      • Tonio

        Very bad. One parent lets their kids go to the playground and then every other kid wants to go out and play.

      • Lackadaisical

        that’s exactly my plan. *shrug*

      • straffinrun

        Most of the violence I’ve experienced happened at school.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Ditto.

    • Hyperion

      “in case Deblasio makes good on his threat to banish everyone in NYC to their homes”

      And what will people do if they run out of food? Is Deblasio going to fly around in a sled like Santa and drop it down the chimney?

      • leon

        Give him a break. He has their best interests in mind when he is taking the choices and options away from them.

      • l0b0t

        I was told that, as grocery store employees, we are essential workers and will not be subject to any curfews or confinement in the course of our duties. Now, we’ve only received 2 or 3 trucks this week (instead of our usual 7 – 12) so there isn’t much work to actually do. I don’t have a shred of confidence in any elected official to successfully plan and implement a proper disaster protocol of any kind and it baffles me that so many of my fellow citizens accept this nonsense.

  8. Q Continuum

    “Trump closes border to migrants and asylum seekers.”

    Good to see it’s not just Team Blue using the virus as an excuse to trot out its hobby horses.

    • WTF

      Because open borders are good for controlling the spread of a virus?

      • ruodberht

        Look, the narrative cannot be allowed to fall to simple things like facts.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Allowing individuals to enter into ports of entry does not equal “open borders”, but you knew that already.

      • Raven Nation

        Objectively, you would think this is a good time to allow at least asylum seekers to enter. You could order them held in isolation for 14 days as a health measure. Then use that time to run background checks. But, as Q noted, it’s time to start singing the song that got you invited to the concert.

      • WTF

        The economy and resources are already heavily stressed, why would you add more stress to the situation if it can be easily avoided?

      • Sensei

        Does each adult get $1,000 and each child $500 too?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Certain individuals labor under the delusion that aliens commit the misdemeanor of improper entry due to a deranged heart that drives them to antinomianism; however for the vast majority, the decision is based on a purely rational economic calculus of risk versus reward. Just like the people who realized this in the 19th century when they opened up the Ellis Island quarantine center, if you incentivize individuals to enter into a designated port of entry, you can test, quarantine, and adjudicate asylum requests more more effectively. Those who attempt to enter outside those designated ports are definitely up to no good, and CBP can more effectively allocate time and resources with a better signal to noise ratio, as they don’t have to waste time with Maria the housekeeper. Also remember, just because someone enters into a port doesn’t mean they have to be let in any more than cargo entering a port passes through without inspection. Expedited removal is still a policy that applies to migrants and asylees.

        On the other hand, completely closing off all ports of entry incentivizes aliens to sneak past, which, from the perspective of public health, is a disaster. Human migration can only be mitigated, it can never be eliminated, as such, when dealing with communicable disease, it is rational to encourage entry into places where migrants can be observed. Unfortunately, due to our lizard brain programming, pandemics such as this trigger the “disease avoidance” and “stranger danger” imperatives in our psyches and bias our decision making in predictable ways.

      • invisible finger

        At this point, if I were to want to enter another country, the last place I’d want to go is a port crowded with virus carriers.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        And yet, that’s what 12 million immigrants did from 1892 to 1950.

      • Fourscore

        My dad and grand parents, 1904

      • R C Dean

        Human migration can only be mitigated, it can never be eliminated, as such, when dealing with communicable disease, it is rational to encourage entry into places where migrants can be observed.

        True enough, although human migration can be reduced. And, yes, encouraging entry through recognized points of entry is a good thing. But incentives work both ways – make those points of entry accessible, and make other routes less useful.

        Reducing immigration as much as possible is step one in controlling the spread of infectious disease, and mist open borders folks will agree that we should still screen for infectious diseases. The reaction to this jumped-up head cold is way, way out of control, but I don’t count immigration restrictions as one of the reactions that is inappropriate. Until we get good testing and treatments/vaccines, this is still a bug worth keeping out as much as we can.

        Maybe. I am increasingly of the opinion that this thing got here earlier than we think, maybe even last spring, and we have already seen the first wave of it. We didn’t, and don’t, know because of the lack of testing. But until we know, immigration restrictions are one part of the response that I think can be justified.

      • R C Dean

        “You could order them held in isolation for 14 days as a health measure.”

        Nope. The courts have ordered all asylum seekers released after 48 hours, as long as they pinky swear to show up for their hearing.

      • WTF

        Adding migrants to the situation with limited ability to screen them creates much more stress on a system that is already stressed, and makes no sense during the current situation, but you knew that already.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Everything is shut down, welcome to America.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It’s “stressed” for the same reason that the DEA is “stressed”, because we insist on spitting in hurricane-force winds and calling it an “enforcement system”. All the overburdened prisons, courts, police forces, etc. would magically disappear if we just decriminalized, if not legalized, narcotics and other “controlled substances”. This would work for other malum prohibitum “crimes” as well. Another thing you knew already.

      • leon

        But then people might do drugs, and how would they know that they were being naughty?

      • invisible finger

        I’ve always argued that we’d have less immigration (legal or otherwise) if we didn’t have so many low-skill/high-pay/no-value government jobs distorting the labor market.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’ll sign on to that.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    He went on to tout his own career as a prosecutor, saying that he had always been “on the lookout for novel ways to apply homicide … liability in an attempt to appropriately and ethically hold accountable those who were responsible for taking the life of a fellow human being.”

    Well, isn’t he special?

    Maybe MSNBC can send a team of heavily armed goons to the White House for a pre-dawn raid, and televise it live.

    • robc

      “novel ways to apply homicide” sounds like he shouldn’t have been allowed near the office he was in.

      • cyto

        I’m shocked that nobody in their crowd took that angle. They profess to be champions of liberty, and one of their own is bragging about abusing the power of government to crush individual rights. Holy crap, they should have jumped down his throat instead of cheering him on.

  10. Q Continuum

    Ass Wednesday reminds you that so far there are no incidents of COVID-19 being transmitted via Dirty Sanchez, Angry Dragon or Donkey Punch.

    http://archive.li/IFP9K

  11. The Late P Brooks

    McConnell, Kentucky’s senior senator, said earlier Tuesday that a number of his members think that the package the House passed Saturday has “considerable shortcomings” but that it is still necessary and urgent.

    “My counsel to them is to gag and vote for it,” he said.

    “We’re able to rise above our normal partisanship and many times our normal positions because these are not ordinary times. This is not an ordinary time,” he said.

    That’s what statesmanship means. Stupid, pointless (if not actually counterproductive) grandstanding in the interest of buying votes and offering up the appearance of doing something. Come on, Rand, wrap yourself in the flag and vote yes.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    In July, Paul blocked a bipartisan bill that would ensure that a victims’ compensation fund related to the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, never runs out of money. Paul questioned the bill’s 70-year time frame and said any new spending should be offset by corresponding cuts. After the amendment failed, he wound up being one of two no votes on the legislation.

    Why does Rand Paul hate heroes?

    • WTF

      That still baffles me. They have health insurance, they have pensions, disability, etc., why should they be raping the taxpayers for billions for the better part of a century?

      • Tonio

        Victims =/= Responders. The service employees who cleaned the building, emptied trash, etc, probably don’t have those benefits.

        But I agree that a bottomless, seventy-year (easily extendible) fund is just begging for abuse both by claimants and congress.

      • WTF

        Even so, why are the taxpayers responsible for taking care of them and their families for the better part of a century? And whenever they want to continue this fund they trot out the “brave first responders”.

      • Tonio

        bin Laden was rich af. I’m wondering why they aren’t freezing his US assets, and any assets he had in “friendly” (to us) countries and using those assets to pay the victims. Something similar was done for the victims of the USS Cole bombing.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’m wondering why they aren’t freezing his US assets

        You know why.

      • Rhywun

        Yes, it’s for anyone who lived or worked in the area.

        Like me. Cha-ching!

      • SDF-7

        Because Jon Stewart has a sad?

  13. Rebel Scum

    Senate likely passing the 100 plus billion bill the House put together.

    She got me throwing my money around.

    • Q Continuum

      Nobody wants to see her go downtown.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Not with the kids out of school…

  14. CPRM

    On the news talk radio on my way home from work they were talking about this ‘new fad’ during all the bar shut downs and social distancing, people meeting up on the internet and drinking together. We set a trend!

  15. Lackadaisical

    “Good luck Andrew, at explaining to your wife and kids how booze turned you gay.”

    I thought that’s why all guys drink.

    • SDF-7

      To turn gay? Wow… now I’m *really* glad I’m not much of a drinker… (No offense to our gay Glibs, obviously — just fine where I am on the spectrum and all…)

    • Nephilium

      Really? It was always the girls who would go for other girls after a couple of drinks.

      One of them got pissed with me when I suggested she try making out with another girl sober once.

      • Festus

        You are a brave man, Neph!

      • Nephilium

        I just got sick of needing to pick her up and carry her out of the women’s bathrooms. If she was dating someone, that makes it their responsibility, right?

    • Tonio

      But I’m already gay. Drinking doesn’t make me more gay. Nor does it work in reverse, ie drinking doesn’t turn me straight.

      • Lackadaisical

        Now I’m imagining a gay couple having a fight because one partner always goes straight when he drinks.

      • Rhywun

        drinking doesn’t turn me straight

        No, but it did lead me to French-kiss a gal pal at a party once. We dared each other.

    • Rhywun

      What a bunch of transparent bullshit this “rehab” is. Everybody knows it’s bullshit but they are going to play along with the charade.

  16. Nephilium

    American Homebrew Association goes into prepper mode.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Hey All. Can we talk about 1 of the few topics I may actually know too much about: homicide? Specifically, whether Donald Trump may have criminal exposure for some level of negligent homicide or voluntary/involuntary manslaughter for the way he’s mishandled the Coronavirus crisis

    What the actual fuck?

    This is not an easy question. Further, whereas the evidence is clear that Trump has committed multiple criminal offenses both before his tenure as president (campaign finance crimes) & during his time as president (obstruction of justice, bribery/extortion)…

    Still can’t let that farce go.

    • WTF

      he’s mishandled the Coronavirus crisis

      Begging the question, there.

      • Q Continuum

        That’s the new DNC/MSM talking point. I always wonder what “proper handling” would have looked like considering Trump identified the problem and restricted travel from China DURING THE FUCKING IMPEACHMENT TRIAL.

      • WTF

        Back in January when the same assholes were calling him a xenopobe and a racist for doing so.

    • Chipwooder

      Yeah, we talked about that one yesterday. What an asshole.

    • LJW

      Would even when she is contagious.

      • WTF

        Hey, it’s just the flu.

      • R C Dean

        She’s got the pussy cancer. Does that change your thinking?

      • cyto

        get the HPV vaccine and have at it.

    • invisible finger

      I can’t believe someone actually had a byline for this drivel.

    • Rhywun

      I’m freaking out and you should be too!!

  18. RAHeinlein

    I was investigating higher ed policy changes due to corona for one of my son’s friends. Top news release from Dept of Ed website – Protecting Students Civil Rights:

    As more schools across the nation shift to distance learning, OCR’s webinar reminds decision makers of their responsibility in making distance learning accessible to students with disabilities, unless equally effective alternate access is provided. Online learning tools must be accessible to students with disabilities, and they must be compatible with the various forms of assistive technology that students might use to help them learn. The webinar advises school leaders to routinely test their online activities to ensure accessibility.

    https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/us-department-education-releases-webinar-fact-sheet-protecting-students-civil-rights-during-covid-19-response

    • Nephilium

      There will be lawsuits.

      And shit like this is why I have to laugh at the fact that the spin studio I frequented had two showers that were handicapped accessible (/cue up “I’m disabled!” from the IT Crowd). Because people with leg issues (sorry The Other Kevin) are going to be the first to sign up for a stationary cycling class!

      • Sensei

        Remember, litigators need to eat too!

    • Raven Nation

      Not to defend the state here, but there are limited cases where this can be a legit problem. I had a kid in my class last semester with pretty limited hearing so they assigned to sign interpreters to each of his classes. If we shifted to totally remote teaching and I recorded lectures at home, I don’t have the technical capability to include closed captioning. There are ways to work this out but, it is something you have to be aware of.

      And, yes, overall it’s silly.

      • UnCivilServant

        But with remote teaching, you can aggregate signing students from multiple areas into classes tought by someone fluent in ASL. It wouldn’t take long for such products to start to appear if not prevented.

      • Raven Nation

        Long-term maybe. But we just switched to remote learning this week. I’m going out on a limb to say the number of people at my school who have expertise in both history and ASL is pretty small.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sure, let that be a problem.

      • Raven Nation

        Not sure. We use Zoom. And IT is also discovering limits on how many machines can be using one product because of licensing.

      • Agent Cooper

        ” I don’t have the technical capability to include closed captioning.”

        There are online services that do this rather expediently, but it depends on who is paying.

  19. LJW

    So the government is going to cut a check for every adult? Can’t wait to see the fraud that comes from this.

  20. Rufus the Monocled

    I’m very pissed at the moment. The disruption this is causing is starting to show and we’re only two weeks in.

    I don’t think this is warranted. It’s borderline over kill.

    I know it’s serious but why not just isolate the vulnerable? Is Covid-19, at the end of the day, a mild flu and not lethal for the most part to the general population?

    600 cases in Canada – eight dead. We’re 37 million. I know it can spread and spike quickly but they’ve essentially declared martial law by other means.

    Now we’re in unchartered waters and may even have to go collect unemployment because the government has basically said, ‘don’t collect payments. We will send you a check’.

    It’s bananas.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I know it’s serious but why not just isolate the vulnerable? Is Covid-19, at the end of the day, a mild flu and not lethal for the most part to the general population?

      At least in the United States, 99.97% of decision makers are silver-haired Boomers.

      • straffinrun

        “I’ve fallen and you can’t get up.”

      • Heroic Mulatto

        That’s a good motto for a generational cohort that has insisted popular culture revolve around them since 1969.

      • leon

        + only 20 Christmas songs allowed….

      • invisible finger

        The one’s who aren’t silver-haired boomers are mostly abject morons like AOC. If I’m stuck with idiots making decisions, I’ll take the ones closest to the grave, thanks.

      • leon

        Name 7…70 abject morons in congress whoe aren’t boomers.

      • UnCivilServant

        You expect me to know what these congresscitters are called?

    • Festus

      It’s pant-shitting and the need for them to play act at “Doing Something”. Wifey is as sick as dog since Thursday but it ain’t The Cortina virus. They’re trying to hobble the economy because every other trick has fallen flat on its face. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to fashion a tri-corn hat out of tin foil…

      • Fourscore

        I know, I know, or rather, we know, we know but hey, crisis, waste? You gotta be dreamin’

    • Lackadaisical

      Agreed 100% Rufus. it doesn’t make a lot of sense to force kids, and young adults to drastically change their lives over someone else’s problem, but that is all the old people ever try to do, it seems.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Functionally, if we were to reach the state of Italy where they are denying treatment to people over a certain age, all hell would break loose politically.

      We are far far far from a nation of individuals these days and our government relies on the same illusion of competence and provision that the Chinese government does.

      Every problem has been federalized, every issue ultimately is the fault of the President. While this has been going on for a very long time, it started in earnest when that asshat asked Clinton in 92 what he as President, was going to do to make his life better.

    • cyto

      Borderline overkill?

      I’m no expert… but they are shutting everything down in some places. They shut down the Tesla factory because it is “not an essential business”. I only learned of that because google shoved it in my feed.

      But you start shutting literally everyone out of work, and things are going to fall apart pretty quickly.

      Sure, that printing service might not be an “essential business”…. but how the heck are you gonna get your canned green beans if they don’t have a label on the can? The same goes for just about everything. It is all interconnected.

      Shutting down bars, night clubs, concerts, etc. is easy. There are no downstream effects beyond the business, and it stops rapid mixing. Discretionary travel is in the same bucket. So tourism gets hammered.

      But you shut down everything except grocery stores and doctor’s offices and the whole thing comes apart pretty quickly.

      And as others have said… to what effect? You slow the virus by staying inside for two months… then what? People still are vulnerable. The virus is still around. So going back out will cause it to come roaring back. Or roaring out for the first time here.

      Luckily, there are lots of “screw you” folks who are taking their own paths. So maybe we can have the best of both worlds… a wrecked economy AND a pandemic that overwhelms the healthcare system.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Biden crushes Sanders in Florida, Illinois, and Arizona.

    It’s lose-lose with their candidates anyway.

    • robc

      Dont talk about Tulsi that way!

      But, yeah, her too.

    • straffinrun

      Literally? Sweet.

  22. Tonio

    While I commend Amazon (sorta) for prioritizing essential goods, they also need to realize that people are home and going stir-crazy. Games, toys and books would go a long way to relieving the stress of shut-in individuals and families.

    • Nephilium

      Speaking of… I’ve got a big pile of Steam games (from gifts, prizes, and Humble Bundles) that I can pass out for free if anyone is interested (or has kids they need to placate).

      • Nephilium

        I’m just trying to figure out the best way to distribute them…

        And for those other board gamers, the online board gaming sites have been under loads 2-3 times higher then normal, which is causing them issues.

    • Chipwooder

      I forsee a whole lotta Monopoly, Clue, Uno, and Ticket To Ride being played in this house over the next month or so.

      • Festus

        I foresee lotsa murdering and babies being born nine months hence. Probably both.

      • Swiss Servator

        We prefer the first.

        /Planned Parenthood

      • LCDR_Fish

        I would recommend Dutch Blitz, Mille Bornes, and work into the more complicated board games.

        Now would be a nice time to break out my “Colditz” remastered game…..if I had anyone to play with ;p

      • Festus

        LCDR Fish has met my golfing conundrum it would seem…

      • Chipwooder

        Milles Bournes! I haven’t seen that in forever. I used to play that a lot with my uncle as a kid.

        I wish I still had Axis & Allies – I finally have time to play it now!

      • dbleagle

        Ahhhh the old “Boys and Toys” game. It was a perfect introduction to board gaming. Bier, snacks and BS while running exercises in the 1980’s.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Winter is not done with us yet. Whoopee.

    • juris imprudent

      Supposed to be in the 70s here on Friday, and the 40s on Saturday. Ah, spring!

    • Festus

      Still three feet of snow in the yard. It will be a late spring hereabouts.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    I ordered a couple of “non-essential” things from Amazon yesterday. The delivery time was a bit longer, but they act like they will ship them.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I expect Amazon to partially refund Prime subscriptions…lol.

    • Tonio

      I’m looking forward to seeing how they will make the company not liable for civil suits in the case of false positives.

    • juris imprudent

      Device with a discrete button the cop pushes any time he wants to make a warrantless search.

    • Sensei

      It couldn’t be that confining and repeatedly testing, in what I’m sure were a loving manner, a 17 year old dog might have contributed to its death.

    • leon

      Why Does Tome Hanks hate Life?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Bosom Buddies.

      • Festus

        More power to him for rising above that. Can you imagine being the kid that got stuffed in a garbage can and rolled down the cripple ramp coming back wearing the crown?

      • Chipwooder

        He also got beat up by the Fonz. That was a tough one to overcome.

      • l0b0t

        And he went all funny in the head from playing that game Mazes & Monsters.

      • robc

        It was all downhill from there.

  25. leon

    Well so far this past week: Plauges: Check, Windstorms: Check. Earthquakes? Yup We just had one.

  26. Rebel Scum

    Trump closes border to migrants and asylum seekers.

    *files injunction*

    • Festus

      *lawyers salivate, people are inconvenienced*

    • Swiss Servator

      +1 Hawaiian Federal Judge

  27. RAHeinlein

    NY MTA seeks $4B bailout – coronavirus has ravaged the transportation infrastructure!

    New York’s Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA), which runs the city’s bus, subway and commuter rail system, is requesting $4 billion in aid from the state’s congressional delegation as the coronavirus pandemic has drastically slashed ridership.

    In a letter on Tuesday, Chairman Patrick Foye said that the transit system is faced with “financial calamity,” according to The New York Times, which added that the MTA has projected revenue losses of approximately $3.7 billion if ridership continues to decline in the coming months.

    https://thehill.com/policy/transportation/public-transit/488185-ny-mta-seeks-4b-federal-bailout

    • Festus

      *Cues old cartoon of Vultures circling over a guy crawling through the desert*

    • UnCivilServant

      Stop running trains and turn the subway into pedestrian tunnels.

      Don’t bother to staff them, and leave any collapsed segments collapsed.

    • Rhywun

      Goodness, they might have to lay off some of the dead weight. Inconceivable!

      • cyto

        Government doesn’t do that.

        ‘Round these parts, our local government just said that not only are all workers getting full pay while not working, all part time folks (like substitute teachers) will be getting pro-rated pay equivalent to their normal earnings.

  28. Mojeaux

    Roof is leaking right next to my daughter’s “spot.” I told her to put towels and buckets down and she looked at me like I was insane. What? What else am I supposed to do? That’s what people do when their roof leaks and they can’t fix it right then. Or ever. Sooooooo happy I don’t have to put a roof on this fucker. Poor girl just got up and she’s having a rough day.

    There’s a way to sell Paul’s amendment: Go on TV and talk about how we’re suffering while spending billions in a backwater doing nothing. Why should THOSE people get taken care of before we are?

    As Amazon and Walmart go, so goes the country. We’re down to 12 triple-roll rolls of toilet paper. The situation is dire. You know, when it was suggested to me back in Mojo’s Great Prepper Panic of 2008 that toilet paper would be the first to go and to stock it as a barter item, I poo-poohed the idea that it was The Top Item. Fourth or fifth maybe, sure. But top? So wrong. I am always so, so wrong and can’t trust a damned thing I think is wise.

    • invisible finger

      Gaze narrowed.

      • Mojeaux

        Hey! You can’t narrow your gaze at me! Only Swissy can do that.

        Also, why did you narrow your gaze at me?

      • Gender Traitor

        “pooh-poohed” idea of hoarding TP.

      • Mojeaux

        *sly wink*

      • pistoffnick

        something, something brown eye

    • RAHeinlein

      Sorry to hear about the tidal wave of issues – I’m sure global pandemic wasn’t on the list of potential worries. Best wishes to you and your family.

      You are the Glibertarian Erma Bombeck.

      • Festus

        Ha! ^^^ This!

      • Mojeaux

        You are the Glibertarian Erma Bombeck.

        *squee*

        *blush*

        That’s so sweet! Thank you! I was thinking about her the other day and, in fact, thinking I would never be able to rise to her level. Humor is not easy to write. I guess being honest about things *in a certain way* is humorous.

        Also, I had a story idea that starts out, “Erma Bombeck said nobody ever died from having an unmade bed. Well, Erma never met me.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Biennial Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop is a thing at U of Dayton. (Now postponed from April to October, natch.)

      • Gender Traitor

        Apparently SFed the link. (I can’t function without Monocle!) Check out humorwriters.org.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      As far as TP goes…

      The janitorial supersize rolls that you typically see in airports are still very available.

      • Festus

        Yes. Yes they are. Ask me how I know.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I told her to put towels and buckets down and she looked at me like I was insane.

      *Looks at pile of wet towels and half full bucket of water*

      I can sympathize. At least my water was only coming from a pipe. Hopefully y’all get out from under that house pretty soon!

  29. LCDR_Fish

    DOD update:

    https://www.militarytimes.com/news/your-military/2020/03/17/the-military-is-sending-breathing-masks-ventilators-to-civilian-hospitals/

    Up to five million N95 breathing masks and 2,000 ventilators are on tap, as requested by the Health and Human Services Department, Esper said, for distribution to civilian medical providers. However, he cautioned against the inclination to call on the military to step in and take over the country’s response to the pandemic.

    “I think, in some ways, we want to be the last resort,” Esper said.

    As 18 states have activated National Guard units and both New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and White House leadership have pointed to the possibility of the Army Corps of Engineers building hospitals to treat a surge of more serious COVID-19 infections

    ……………..

    As far as charging the Army Corps of Engineers to build more hospitals, Esper reiterated that the organization is not a construction team, but a contracting group that receives funding and doles it out to private companies to build.

    “My view is, I’m more than willing to send the Army Corps of Engineers to work with states to see what we can provide, what we can offer,” he said.

    But similarly to the barrier construction project along the U.S.-Mexico border, there is a significant lag between the time the Corps of Engineers receives funding to the time they award contracts and teams begin to break ground.

    “My hunch is, it would probably be quicker it was done at the state and local level,” Esper said.

    Not bad. Basically all non-essential movements are on hold for active and reserve right now. Oh well.

    • Swiss Servator

      Hmmm….

      /USAR, Retired Reserve

    • RAHeinlein

      Navy Fleet Hospitals FTW. Looks like hospital ships are preparing to take over trauma cases:

      US Navy

      The US Navy is preparing its hospital ships to possibly deploy to combat the coronavirus pandemic in the hardest-hit communities in the country.

      Defense Secretary Mark Esper confirmed he ordered the Navy to “lean forward” in deploying two of its hospital ships, the USNS Comfort and USNS Mercy.

      The two ships will specifically focus on trauma cases if deployed, given the limited amount of space aboard the ships, Esper said.

      https://news.yahoo.com/us-navy-preparing-2-fully-203502991.html

      • LCDR_Fish

        Limited scale of options, but could be good for increased isolation/quarantine for vulnerable patients – and less potential for secondary infections that you’d see in cruise liners, etc.

      • Tejicano

        Sounds to me like they are offering to take non-corona patients to leave room in the hospitals to take care of the corona patients.

      • RAHeinlein

        Yes – sensible use of resources.

      • straffinrun

        Reopen Alcatraz.

    • Gustave Lytton

      As far as charging the Army Corps of Engineers to build more hospitals, Esper reiterated that the organization is not a construction team, but a contracting group

      ?‍♂️

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        In answer to your unasked question, YES they are that stupid and obtuse.

        The Army Corps can swoop in and fuck up just about any construction project that’s going well without their involvement.

      • l0b0t

        Indeed, 200 miles of New Orleans levies concur.

      • LCDR_Fish

        OTOH, there are a ton of Reserve Seabees and probably Army Engineers who would most likely be happier getting out and building stuff than just sitting on their asses all day (the ones that don’t have important support jobs at least) – but again…depends on what kind of construction is really being asked for. Any Guard unit can set up normal tents/field hospitals, etc with minimal issue.

  30. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Now I’m just a simple country nonlawyer but you’d think a former prosecutor like Glenn Kirschner would understand the concept of sovereign immunity which maybe shouldn’t be a thing but is.

    • WTF

      I would like to ask him if he thinks Obama should also be prosecuted for assassinating American citizens by drone without due process.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Or liable for deaths caused by running guns to Mexico, or SARS or whichever virus killed people under his tenure, and etc ad infinitum.

  31. Not Adahn

    Good morning!

    I hope everyone else’s corned beef hash was as delicious as mine.

    *does WFH happy dance*

    • UnCivilServant

      I haven’t cooked my corned beef yet.

      • Not Adahn

        Leftover corned beef and potatoes are just one of the many blessings that St. Patrick bestows.

        *ponders whether to use ‘is’ or ‘are,’ decides to not worry about it*

      • l0b0t

        How do you have leftovers? Every time I walk by the brisket, I tear off a bite. Next thing I know, it’s gone.

      • Not Adahn

        the brisket

        There’s your problem.

      • Festus

        Waiting on the “Slow-Cooker Gloves” from Amazon?

      • UnCivilServant

        Naw, the interior of the pot wasn’t as clean as expected, so I put it to soak and will scrub it out later today.

      • Festus

        Dammit, UCS! You are the best “straight man” that inhabits these boards. I’ll bet if we ever met IRL it would be awkward as hell. “How’s it goin’? Not bad. You? Okay. Little cloudy today. Rained a little yesterday. Probably rain some tomorrow too. *scans menu* Waitress!”

      • Fourscore

        Nah, that’s just his Glib persona. IRL he is the Jonathan Winters, does voices, etc.
        And he’s my friend.

        /Dons UCS look a like gloves/

      • Don Escaped Texas

        No one makes me laugh harder: out of nowhere, the wry skewer from the left field bleachers.

        New ideas and perspectives are the sweet stuff: middle-of-the-road folk seldom deliver those. Takes all kinds. I hope to be similarly tolerated for the occasional gem.

    • Nephilium

      There was no hash. Just corned beef sandwiches yesterday. I’ve got a sourdough starter going (which should be ready this weekend), and supplies being delivered (as of now) Saturday so I can brew beer on Sunday.

    • Chipwooder

      I actually didn’t make corned beef yesterday. There was a great sale on it a few weeks ago, $1.99/lb, and I bought four. We’ve had it twice in the last two weeks and I think the kids would rebel if I made it again, so I’m holding off for now.

      • Not Adahn

        ? Rebel?

        I’m not a certified theologian or anything, but I’m pretty sure inventing corned beef makes up for that whole killing Jesus thing.

      • Chipwooder

        My kids are not overly fond of corned beef.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Serious journalism

    The left-wing critique of the Obama years goes something like this: Swept into office with an immense popular mandate after President George W. Bush crashed the American economy, President Barack Obama pursued half measures that led to a slow, brutal recovery, setting the stage for the rise of Donald Trump.

    ——-

    Democratic centrists read the internal politics of their party far better than the left did. But getting the politics right is not the same as getting the policy right, and the Democratic establishment ignores the forces that contributed to Sanders’s rise at its peril. Even now, the robust economic recovery hides a vast affordability crisis. The Affordable Care Act really was not sufficient to fix America’s broken health-care system. The concentration of economic gains at the top really does threaten Americans’ livelihoods—but also democracy itself. The student-loan crisis really is suffocating an entire generation with debt. The inaugural conflict in America’s forever war, the war in Afghanistan, is old enough to vote. Although simply restoring the status quo ante might be a persuasive political argument to a majority of Democrats and perhaps even a majority of Americans, governing from that assumption would leave the country vulnerable to another takeover by an authoritarian demagogue, just as it was in November 2016.

    Thoughtful analysis, based in fact. That’s what keeps me coming back to the Atlantic.

    • Festus

      Trump will be reelected come November. President Kamala is too much of a bitter pill for you guys to swallow. At least I hope so.

    • leon

      Democratic centrists read the internal politics of their party far better than the left did. But getting the politics right is not the same as getting the policy right

      Ummmmmm. I’d argue that those two things are kinda tied. You’re Policy really should fit into your political narrative, and so if the far left has the right policy, then you are arguing that they have a good narrative to…

    • WTF

      That should put the Wuhan Flu in perspective. It won’t, but it should.

  33. Grummun

    Beer brewing Glibs: I’m looking for a pointer to a source of reliable extract beer recipes. I have no sense of what adjunct grains impart what flavor profiles, so just looking at a recipe, I can’t guess how it might turn out. I’m not prepared to do whole grain, but I’m used to steeping adjunct grains, etc. I’ve done a handful of MoreBeer recipe kits with adequate results.

    Specifically, I’m looking for recipes for a credible clone of either Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout or Cooper’s Best Stout.

    • Nephilium

      The oatmeal stout may be difficult with extract, since mashing the oatmeal is what helps extract the protein and provide the mouthfeel. Unfortunately, I don’t think I saved any of my recipes from my extract days, but can probably search for some on the forums (or dig through some back issues of Zymurgy).

      • Grummun

        I did an extract oatmeal stout that called for what I believe is a “partial mash”: put the oats in a grain bag, heat to ~160, add a packet of enzymes, hold at 160 for some period of time. Maybe that’s not enough work to get the oaty goodness out.

  34. Gadfly

    Good luck Andrew, at explaining to your wife and kids how booze turned you gay.

    In vino veritas.

    • Festus

      It was the meth-guy! Emanations and penumbras turned him to the Gay!

  35. The Late P Brooks

    You are the Glibertarian Erma Bombeck.

    That’s just mean.

    • Mojeaux

      Not at all! I found her humorous in a nothing-else-to-read-while-on-the-pot way.

      Also, Trundra and Creosote Achilles both think I write train wreck romance (versus hearts and flowers romance), which makes me preen with joy and pride.

    • Festus

      She’s funnier and a better writer.

      • Mojeaux

        *throws self at Festus for a yuuuuuge hug*

      • Festus

        *Uncomfortable growth* Tone it down, Cousin!

      • RAHeinlein

        It’s like she doesn’t even social distance…

      • straffinrun

        BTW, I think I could turn that “Branch Covidians” into a short story. You mind?

  36. Certified Public Asshat

    Bernie Sanders is wrong on democratic socialism in Sweden, and everywhere else

    That economic freedom didn’t last — and neither did its economic growth. The 30 years to come were characterized by the expansion of the generous cradle-to-grave welfare state that Sanders admires, characterized by government intervention, an increase in tax rates and the re-regulation of previously free markets. The country’s total tax load peaked in 1990 at a rate of 52.3 percent, with a corresponding negative impact on business and job creation.

    Talent and capital moved out of Sweden to escape the tax burden, with furniture giant IKEA leaving for the Netherlands and the world’s leading food packaging company, Tetra Pak, for Switzerland. In 1970 Sweden was the fourth-richest member of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) club of industrial countries, but had dropped to 13th in 1993.

    The hardship didn’t end there. A subsequent financial crisis in the 1990s saw the growth of the gross domestic product sink and unemployment spike, while the government raised interest rates to a staggering 500 percent in an effort to avoid devaluing its currency. Sweden’s long-standing social democratic Minister of Finance Kjell‐Olof Feldt concluded: “That whole thing with democratic socialism was absolutely impossible. It just didn’t work. There was no other way to go than market reform.”

    All of these Scandinavians think they know more about themselves than Bernie.

    • leon

      In 1970 Sweden was the fourth-richest member of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) club of industrial countries, but had dropped to 13th in 1993.

      Honestly a socialist would say “Who cares about how rich the country is, if only the rich get the benefits”.

  37. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Fear the liquidity reaper.

    The Fed is injecting a trillion a day into the repo market.

    Additionally, they’re initiating pretty much every program they had during 2008 all at once. This includes using equities as collateral for loans from the Fed. Before this is over the Fed could be buying stocks directly like in Japan where the central bank owns 70% of the stock market.

    We’re now seeing the disaster that stock buybacks helped to create. Airlines spent 96% of their free cash flow over the last decade buying back their own shares and now they’re going to have to be bailed out because they have no cash available and their stocks are tanking. Corporate buybacks are over for the foreseeable future and that was the primary driver of the stock market for the last decade.

    We’re way way way out in uncharted waters here.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      Cash is king; that’s why I hate debt.

      You probably have other motivations, but most of the buy-back criticism is from SJW who don’t own stocks and who don’t know how anything works/runs and think this money should have be paid to the proletariat. That’s where the sudden energy in the wider media on this point comes from. They don’t understand and couldn’t care less about what is the best corporate financing structure.

      So the chicken coming home to roost is the demon of leverage: companies can’t service debt, but bonds and loans stand first and don’t take excuses. To manage a company without cash as if the economy will always be favorable is to get too far out over your skis, to out-drive your headlights. Companies need to die and CEO need to rot for this fecklessness, and equity, in addition to debt, needs to take a haircut for its carelessness.

      To decry equity is to extol debt; I can’t agree with that. But I also don’t agree with driving 80MPH down country roads: just over the hill there might be a combine doing 20. As of this week, that combined was dead stopped.

      The fixation with optimization has rewarded firms for eating their seedcorn. This winter, the grasshoppers die and the ants live own. Come spring, we will have fewer grasshoppers to invest in, buybacks or no.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I always thought it was beyond nuts to be borrowing money to buyback your own stock. Apple buying back stock with the shitload of cash they have is one thing, but American Airlines sits on $34B in debt. Instead of reducing that liability, they were taking loans to boost their stock price.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Apple maximizing self-control strikes me as reasonable. I own a little, and I don’t object.

        AMR is a firm that trades in a commodity: the passenger-mile. That’s a garbage business unless your goal is mere “economic profit.” I would never own such equity and probably would never even work for such a firm. The entire business is a loser on balance, and you can set your watch by the regularity with which they go bankrupt. I have no opinion about how they re-arrange their deck chairs from quarter to quarter.

        True story: I was neighbors with three straight AMR CEO, and one wife loathes me in a way I think no one else ever has.

        But I was never a believer in airlines even before I went to Texas.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Bob Crandall mostly agrees with your sentiment.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Bob was the first of those neighbors. I got to TX in 97 and he left AMR in the next year or so.

    • Lackadaisical

      Stock buy backs are dumb. issue dividends instead.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It raises the question, has any company ever borrowed money to issue a dividend? Because functionally, that’s what they’re doing with the buybacks unless they have a positive balance sheet.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        The details don’t matter: if you don’t have cash, you don’t know how to run a company. They could have spent it all on chia pets.

        The writing you’re seeing about the buybacks is about tearing down equity in favor of labor, not proper corporate management. The buy-back part is complete red herring.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        True

      • RAHeinlein

        Stock buybacks are an extremely useful tool. A staggeringly small percentage of stock owned by “activist investors” (who, BTW, I support in many cases – looking at you P&G), can literally upend a company.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Buy-backs are great if you can afford them. The issue is they can’t afford them. Buy-backs are like Rolls Royces: not inherently evil.

        But I do believe in dividends more now: it fixates the firm on the necessity of cash. When I was young, I thought the declaring and posting of dividends was a huge waste of time and money: I preferred earnings be retained and the stock price’s reflecting that; then, I would cash out when I needed to . . . on my cashflow schedule and when I was ready to pay my taxes. What I failed to evaluate before was the lie of earnings: it’s all just paper until you’ve got to mail the checks. Since Anderson collapsed, the earnings lie has skyrocketed, and that’s part of the bubble we’re seeing collapsing. 97% of quarterlies now include non-GAAP descriptions. Companies with cash don’t have these problems.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My beef with buybacks is you’re basically paying money to people who don’t believe in your company and don’t want to own shares while fucking over the ones who do. On paper, other shareholders benefit by reduced outstanding shares and higher stock price but that’s unrealized gain until they too sell out.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Brother, we almost always agree, but you’re kinda talking in circles a wee mite.

        Every share that is bought was sold: entities make a market, and each manages its own goals. That individuals might sell and firms buy matters not: the market renders an opinion.

        How and when any given shareholder moves is neither here nor there. Every share was bought to be sold; that’s what they’re for.

        And you’re not fucking over the shareholders if you’re consolidating management’s ability to make good decisions. We elected them; we believe in them; we invested in them: how can we not want them to have better latitude to manage?

        Who should decide how the firm is run if not management?

        And that’s why I’m a little loud on this point: this entire national debate is fueled by people who think there’s some magical money that labor should be getting but isn’t because Management Bad. Those people are dolts, but they’ve really moved the debate these last few months. When there is no labor whatsoever because the firms fail, I suppose those folks will finally be happy with having achieved income equality.

        I don’t want equality. I want management and equity to win. I want to buy winners.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m going to have to digest that, but on the surface, I think we’re coming to near the same place too.

      • R C Dean

        Dividends are taxed as ordinary income. Stock buybacks are taxed at the lower capital gains rate.

        Theoretically, they are economically equivalent to the stockholder. Both draw down cash the same. With dividends, the enterprise value is reduced by that much, but the stockholder breaks even because they have the cash in their pocket. With buybacks, the reduced enterprise value is spread over fewer shares, so the stockholder’s value shouldn’t be impaired.

        Theoretically.

        But the tie breaker is taxes, IMO. I’d rather get $1,000 and pay cap gains rates, than get the same $1,000 and pay my top marginal rate.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I expect the airlines to be bailed out, which pisses me off to no end.

      Southwest, Alaska, and Jet Blue would all survive with no bailout. They should all be rewarded.

      • leon

        Rewards? Sounds unfair.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Chinese were spraying entire subway stations with bleach every night during SARs-1

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah, not sure what they were using this year….probably not bleach given the videos of dying cockroaches, etc.

    • R C Dean

      We’ve gotten confirmation that our standard loadout of cleaning products works just fine on Kung Flu. I have no idea how effective home cleaning agents are, other than bleach, which kills fucking everything pretty chop-chop.

  38. Don Escaped Texas

    NewWife just read through last night’s postings.

    Upon reflection, we were on our best behavior.

    Extra points for Tundra being Minnesota Nice about something or the other every 40 minutes.

    And only a modicum of tin-foil hats worn.

    Thanks!

    • R C Dean

      *Jams on tinfoil hat*

      This bug originated in the Wuhan virology lab, whether as a research subject or a bioweapon. It escaped last spring, but that was the end of the season for bugs like this, so it didn’t break the plane until the usual flu season hit Wuhan and people noticed and started testing. Its been here for months, and we have already seen the first wave. The CDC knows this, but is leveraging the panic, with the eager participation of politicians and the media, to push their pre-existing agendas of authoritarian control of the populace via “public health” and economic control. In particular, measures are being taken to gut small businesses, as they have always been the bane of authoritarians and centralized control.

    • l0b0t

      Hey Don, is NewWife the person to blame thank for me getting hooked on that DerpTube show with the two crazy drag queens?

      • Don Escaped Texas

        absolutely

        If you had told me thirty years ago that I’d be married to a gothy chick and watching drag queens on a “laptop,” I would have probably checked out with a shotgun.

        But if you told me she’d be six foot and make a mean shrimp and grits, I might have taken a wait and see approach.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You’re married to Krysten Ritter?

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Think Norway: Miss 2016 and she share a shocking number of genes. I’m pretty sure that when Neph was here he enjoyed her company more than mine, but that would be the usual take on things. Men must really suck because I’m bald and flabby and mercurial and I’ve never run out of great gals: I’m a contender somehow in this mad, mad world.

      • R C Dean

        Think Norway: Miss 2016

        *clicks link, books flight to visit Don’s wife, err, Don*

  39. Certified Public Asshat

    GM Will Offer Zero-Interest Loans, Customer Aid in Coronavirus Pandemic

    The spread of COVID-19 has very quickly disrupted daily life and General Motors is looking to cushion the blow, both for current owners and prospective buyers. The automaker has rolled out zero-interest loans for up to 84 months for customers in top credit tiers. GM said it will also work with current owners feeling financial effects of the pandemic, and one of the options will be delaying payments, a GM spokesperson told C/D. The program covers all GM brands. Other automakers, including Ford, have announced coronavirus-related consumer programs in the past few days as well.

    What could go wrong?

    • UnCivilServant

      They were already doing zero interest car loans. This is repackaging an existing product to create the illusion of charity.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        They were, but not for this long. I say hold out for 0% over 10 years.

  40. Rebel Scum

    David Hogg✔
    @davidhogg111

    Don’t let this administration address COVID-19 like our national gun violence epidemic. Fuck a National day of prayer, we need immediate comprehensive action.

    And what of our national automotive collision and medical mistake ‘epidemics’?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Common sense COVID-19 control is what I have been saying all along.

      • Festus

        Grey pant suits for all!

    • Not Adahn

      How many years until Harvard puts him on faculty?

    • leon

      What a jack ass.

      I get that a lot of people don’t believe, and ok. But i wouldn’t recomend shitting on close and heartfealt beliefs.

    • Q Continuum

      Always. On. Message.

      Just like a good little jackbooted thug.

    • straffinrun

      “Fuck a National day of prayer”

      The only way he’s gonna get laid.

    • Chipwooder

      Why is anyone paying attention to Piglet anymore? Was he in somewhat close proximity to a coronavirus patient, thus making him an expert on that the way being in the vicinity of a shooting made him an expert on gun violence?

    • R C Dean

      No festival of idiocy is complete until Gauleiter Hogg weighs in.

  41. Sean

    Fuck.

    Pothole ate my tire this morning. Big ass bubble in the sidewall.

    *insert angry rant here*

    • Festus

      *grumbles* Lousy Smarch weather broke my spring last year but it was factory recall. Still had to order and install new shocks. What a pain in the cunt the one side was. Had to Dremmel tool the bolt and the shaft. Took all day. That’s when my neighbors discovered my fluency in the words that shouldn’t be said…

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Don’t waste this opportunity to destroy freedom and economic opportunity! This is our chance to drive a stake through the heart of markets and capitalism!

    Yesterday, I left the protective membrane of my house to get a bit of exercise. As I ran down to the corner, along our main street, I could see the victims of the virus everywhere. There was the movie palace, which has existed since the 1930s as the source of neighborhood identity and a monument to the past. The windows holding promotional posters were bare; the shades were pulled down over the ticket booth. As I peered into the empty stores, I saw the familiar figures of daily life slumped over their counters. There was the dry cleaner, who has promised my daughter a job when she turns 15; there was the surly woman at the Italian deli counter, who has inexplicably given me the stink eye for the past 20 years. I got teary-eyed as I plodded past them. Before social distancing ends, they will likely be erased from commercial and communal existence.

    In the meantime, the lobbyists are set to plunder. This morning I heard Nicholas Calio on the radio. During George W. Bush’s administration, he was the White House’s smooth operator on the Hill, a kibitzer and arm-twister who advanced its legislative agenda. Now he works for the airline industry, and he was pleading on its behalf. Of course, there’s every reason to keep vital industries afloat. A vibrant economy needs a transit system. But the injustice of spending $50 billion on the airlines should drive the public to apoplexy. The companies that used their fat profits to buy back stocks as they constricted the distance between seats, that only managed to innovate by charging new fees, will be the ones the government chooses to salvage.

    The coming bailout is a familiar moral catastrophe. During the financial crisis, the government saved the banking industry’s bacon, while asking exceedingly little of the culprits. When the government spends billions of dollars to save industries, it has enormous leverage. This is the moment when Congress can shape an economy. It should demand, for instance, that the airlines keep their workers in their jobs; it should place hard caps on executive pay and prohibit stock buybacks; it can demand that airlines take steps to reduce their Sasquatch-size carbon footprint. (And, damnit, Congress should require that their seats actually recline!) If the industry wants the public’s money, it will have to deal with it.

    In a crisis, the government can’t save everything. Just as hospitals must ration ventilators, the government must make choices. These choices are excruciating because every industry that perishes will take down workers and investors with it. But just because choices are excruciating doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be made. Rather, if the public doesn’t make moral demands of its politicians, then the politicians will protect the well connected; they will siphon money to cronies: The Trump administration is considering billions in aid to casino magnates like Steve Wynn and Sheldon Adelson. While casinos are important employers, they also preside over a gambling industry that addicts and abuses citizens—why should they get pulled from the fire while independent booksellers and local florists wither and die?

    We cannot risk inequality of outcomes. Nationalize everything. Bring on the Ministry of Plenty.

    • PieInTheSky

      Well some of those words are stupid

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      “South Korea is a democratic republic, we feel a lockdown is not a reasonable choice,” says Kim Woo-Joo, an infectious disease specialist at Korea University.

      *packs bags*

      • leon

        Sadly we aren’t a democratic republic, and we all know it.

  43. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    Whoa, bad internet is a truly bad deal. Thoughts and prayers for you and the girls! And Sloopy ,too. Although he’s probably out playing with the boat…

    Good on Rand for at least trying to slow Leviathan. I skipped the comments – to his credit, Rand certainly unites the commies and the ‘small government’ righties.

    Crater the economy and give the tax cattle a few bucks. So stupid.

    Anyway, thanks for the lynx and the rockin’ good tune!

    Make it a great day, people!

  44. The Late P Brooks

    How about this? All government employees will forego their paychecks as long as any private business is shut down by government edict.

    • Nephilium

      But they’re critical and essential!

    • leon

      Certainly De Blasio could stand to go without a paycheck.

  45. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I have to admit I’m chuckling about the articles concerning panicking brides that won’t get their big wedding.

    Narcissistic waste of money that has nothing to do with the success of the marriage.

    • R C Dean

      I hadn’t heard that, but it makes perfect sense.

      Proof that every dark cloud has a silver lining.

  46. PieInTheSky

    So round here they officially closed bars restaurants gyms and barbers / beauty salons, which sucks because I need a haircut. Should have gotten one last week but forgot, I think Friday was officially time for it on an every 4 weeks schedule.

      • PieInTheSky

        http://www.flowbee.com – Connection Failed
        logo
        Error code 20

        The proxy failed to connect to the web server, due to TCP connection timeout.
        2020-03-18 14:44:24 UTC

        Your IP79.115.173.51
        |Proxy IP107.154.148.161(ID 10877-100)
        Origin Server IPX.X.X.160

        Incident ID: 877001290037195922-157419072670998606

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Oh God no, now we have a flowbee shortage?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Apparently they told the German Big Brother candidates yesterday what was going on.

      • straffinrun

        Did they act like Moses, too?

    • Q Continuum

      “One that’s been changed forever”

      I guess if these assholes had an ounce of self-awareness, they wouldn’t be such assholes.

    • PieInTheSky

      We should talk about hot chicks implementing pussy fascism by not fucking me

  47. Nephilium

    So Psychostick just announced their doing a livestream concert on Friday, at 16:00 Pacific time. You may know them from the Beer song.

    • Nephilium

      And in keeping with the current theme:

      DOOM!

  48. PieInTheSky

    “i can’t go because of coronavirus”
    – whiny
    – boring
    – weak

    “i’ve sworn an oath of solitude til the blight is purged from these lands”
    – heroic, valiant
    – they will assume you have a sword
    – impossible to check if you really have a sword because of coronavirus

    https://twitter.com/MNateShyamalan/status/1239932974050795521

  49. The Late P Brooks

    I keep seeing references to people claiming the CDC (or some other government agency) has “forbidden them” from being tested for coronaplague. My assumption is that those people showed no obvious preliminary indications of having it, and somebody told them to go away and not clutter up the system (and not waste a test).

    Am I wrong?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No

    • Gustave Lytton

      Sample takers that don’t have access to (or are limited by) prívate labs and only have access to public labs with CDC provided test kits.

      Testing capacity is no where near where it needs to be at this point.

      • Gustave Lytton

        See yesterday’s comments by Rothbardsbitch about dealing with pneumonia and exhibiting other covid-19 symptoms but not able to get a test due to not having traveled or a close contact of a confirmed case. He’s in TX.

        Really, it doesn’t matter for treatment, but would help with his own piece of mind.

      • Drake

        I missed that yesterday – call around and find a doctor or clinic without their heads jammed up their asses to draw the sample and send to a lab.

      • Drake

        Nope – testing capacity is massive now that the major labs have tests approved by the FDA on the emergency basis. But.. we might run into issues if the supply of reagents for the labs dries up (or comes from China). ARUP had to pause their testing because they ran out.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I know that a local practice that is using Quest said they could only do 40 tests. Not sure if that’s a limitation from Quest, their own supplies/PPE, or over what duration.

      • Drake

        40 a day? Sounds pretty good for a single practice. My former insider guess is that all tests go to a Southern CA lab right now and they are scrambling to get the test running in a couple other labs asap.

      • Drake

        I guess I don’t know what you mean by “sample takers”. I can’t remember the last time I went to a doctor’s office that didn’t have 2 or 3 of those insulated lab boxes by the door. Any office or clinic that doesn’t have an account can get on with a half-hour phone call to any major lab. Same goes for hospitals – they generally want tests done in their own lab so they can make that revenue, but they usually have relationships with other labs for tests they can’t do themselves.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Meant the doctors office, hospital, whatever.

        There’s still a limitation somewhere because the tests aren’t being ran on the scale they need to be.

    • Drake

      Tucker called out the CT Governor for repeating that lie last night.

      The U.S. is about the only country in the world with a private diagnostic lab industry worth mentioning. And all the first tier labs are now geared up to do corona tests. Has to be ordered by a doctor or RN, has to be a swap sample they send in refrigerated or frozen. Depending how far the doctor is from the lab, 1 to 4 days turn around time.

    • R C Dean

      Even though private testing is coming online, it still has pretty limited capacity – its all about the reagent. And the only private testing at this point is the giant lab companies – they don’t have a test we can run at a large hospital lab.

      Testing parameters change every few days as capacity increases. I haven’t even checked yet to see what today’s parameters are.

      • Drake

        Will it ever run at a hospital lab if they don’t have a prc machine?

      • R C Dean

        Probably not. But we have one, and a lot of medium to large hospitals do. Smaller hospitals are used to sending that stuff out, often to bigger hospitals or other reference labs. They will have one that we can run – its just a matter of when.

        One of the big reference labs is Mayo. I wonder if they have the big machine that can run this test now. If Cleveland Clinic can run it, I bet Mayo can.

      • Nephilium

        Local news has been saying that the Cleveland Clinic got testing online, and shared the information with MetroHealth and University Hospital to get them online as well. The reports have been saying a 1-2 day turnaround, but lines are hours long, and the test needs to be ordered by a doctor.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How would you determine your own NLR?

      • PieInTheSky

        I assume divide Neutrophil number to Lymphocyte number

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        That’s what I did. I got 2.0.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Muh HOBBYHORSE!

    As the country deals with the growing coronavirus pandemic, Republicans in the Idaho state legislature met on Monday to blaze forward with their anti-trans agenda. The state Senate passed a bill, 24-11, banning trans and intersex girls from competing as girls in school athletics, even though there are currently no trans athletes competing in the state.

    The bill — which, if signed by Gov. Brad Little, would become the first state-level anti-trans bill passed so far this year — would require female athletes in high schools and colleges to undergo invasive sex testing to determine eligibility to compete in the girls’ division. The bill passed in the state House in late February, by a 24-11 vote.

    According to the bill’s text, if a girl’s sex is challenged by an opposing coach, administrator, or parent, it can be proven by presenting “a signed physician’s statement that shall indicate the student’s sex based solely on: The student’s internal and external reproductive anatomy; the student’s normal endogenously produced levels of testosterone; an analysis of the student’s genetic makeup.”

    That requirement places an undue burden on female athletes — making them go to the doctor for a genital exam or DNA test in an attempt to prove they meet the state’s standards for girlhood — that simply isn’t enforced upon their male counterparts. It also misunderstands trans kids, and the science behind trans athletes.

    Oh, horror.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      the science behind trans athletes

      *bangs head on desk*

    • leon

      This will be used as another reason why states are evil and only the Federal Government should be allowed to make regulations about everything.

    • Chipwooder

      That requirement places an undue burden on female athletes — making them go to the doctor for a genital exam or DNA test in an attempt to prove they meet the state’s standards for girlhood — that simply isn’t enforced upon their male counterparts.

      You don’t say! Gee, why is that? It’s almost as if there’s an inherent advantage to competing as a biological male against females that isn’t present for biological females competing against males!

    • Rhywun

      What about the undue burden on female athletes presented by having to compete against men?

    • Mojeaux

      standards for girlhood

      The Christian right, the cynical GenXers, lesbians, and the radfems snuggle a little closer in that strange bed.

      Gay men won’t put up with transmen–if any transmen wanted to invade gay men’s spaces, which they don’t seem to want to, by and large. Lesbians are getting the shaft because it is unwoke to refuse to date someone with a girldick. Radfems are pissy about people with penises acting as if they’re entitled to womanhood by virtue of saying “I am entitled to womanhood.” The detransitioners (mostly girls-to-boys-back-to-girls again) are totally unwoke but they regret their late teens spent on testosterone because they wrecked their voices, and that movement is gaining momentum. The Christian right, of course, thinks it’s all perversion. Muslims–well, they’re just woke by virtue of being a society willing to kill for the slightest insult. The doctors and psychiatrists who are calling MtF autogynephilia (thank you, futanari) are getting hammered by the trans movement.

      If I were the parent of a girl athlete being beaten by people with penises, I’d be at a lawyer’s office so fast it’d make your head spin. That’s the battleground.

      LGs need to get the Ts out of their sphere because the Ts are going to wreck it for you.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Lesbians are getting the shaft

        ’twas seen

  51. Scruffy Nerfherder

    First and only rule of getting away with it: Don’t get caught.

    Chinese laboratories identified a mystery virus as a highly infectious new pathogen by late December last year, but they were ordered to stop tests, destroy samples and suppress the news, a Chinese media outlet has revealed.

    A regional health official in Wuhan, centre of the outbreak, demanded the destruction of the lab samples that established the cause of unexplained viral pneumonia on January 1. China did not acknowledge there was human-to-human transmission until more than three weeks later.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Ah, the national CCP & Winnie have decided who is going to be the fall guy for that mess.

    • leon

      Lew Rockwell assures us that we have no real reason to doubt the chinese narrative. So i mean who are you gonna believe them or the lying US Army?

  52. Pope Jimbo

    My wild new prediction:

    The Dem nominee will be some gov or other elected creature who skyrockets to fame because of their draconian corona virus measures. If the virus is managed, this newcomer will claim that their shuttering of everything is what did it. And they will say that they did it DESPITE the Feds. They will say Trump was a complete loser and this shows how much better they are.

    I have no idea who it will be, but this will do two things a) get rid of Biden and b) help focus the race on the virus.

    • Rhywun

      You want President Deblasio? Because this is how you get President Deblasio.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’ve been busy, but has he gotten blasted for proposing to nationalize health care industries?

        Did the workers at the industries he wanted to nationalize so the could work 24/7 rise up in protest at his suggestion that they be chained to their workstations 24/7?

    • Nephilium

      But DeWine is a Republican… in name at least.

    • Agent Cooper

      Mike DeWine is switching parties?

  53. The Late P Brooks

    It also misunderstands trans kids, and the science behind trans athletes.

    Bring out the witch doctors.

    They fucking love science.

  54. Drake

    I decided to venture out onto the wastelands for food and supplies. Early Wednesday morning things would be quiet, right?

    The fancy local meat market – had a line at 8:30 am like it was Christmas Eve. They were out of some of my regular buys like ground turkey and breakfast sausage. But they had plenty of fish – so tilapia fillets for dinner tonight.

    I got to the supermarket with 15 minutes of opening and saw people streaming out with carts full of tp. I did end up buying the last name-brand 6-pack of tp on the shelves. Everything else seem adequately stocked.

    The pet shop was out of our dog food but the owner said he’ll have it tomorrow. Apparently people went as crazy with their dog food as their toilet paper. Maybe they plan to live on dog food after the apocalypse – they will if they get hungry enough.

    Bought the last carton of milk from the local farm store. Saw some church friends there – won’t be seeing them in church.

    • Fatty Bolger

      My boys work in a grocery store. Every night they get a huge shipment of paper products, and every morning there are people lining up to get in to buy it all. They said it’s all gone within an hour or two. Apparently flushable wet wipes last the longest.

  55. hayeksplosives

    Regarding the multi billion “relief” stimulus or whatever they’re calling it, TurtleMitch says

    “My counsel to them is to gag and vote for it,” he said.

    “We’re able to rise above our normal partisanship and many times our normal positions because these are not ordinary times. This is not an ordinary time,” he said.

    Gag and vote for it. I won’t question mitch’s qualifications here.

    As to the rest, they are supposed to put aside principles and promises to their constituents but it’s ok because it’s extraordinary times. Right when, ya know, you really need your rep/senators sticking to their guns.

  56. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Swiss Servator Hardest Hit

    “A VFX producer friend of a friend was hired in November to finish some of the 400 effects shots in @catsmovie,” he wrote. “His entire job was to remove CGI buttholes that had been inserted a few months before. Which means that, somewhere out there, there exists a butthole cut of Cats.” Waz followed up with a mission statement: “Finding this cut is my white whale #ReleaseTheButtholeCut.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Magnificent!

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Testing capacity is no where near where it needs to be at this point.

    So… rationing.

    • leon

      This is why we need nationalized healthcare.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The FDA is approving them (but I’d say slowly). The bigger issues now are labs getting up to speed on using the kits and obtaining the supplies/kits to conduct the tests.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Supposed to be a reply to Pie.

    • PieInTheSky

      Are private companies allowed to freely manufacture test kits or are there any restrictions in place?

      • Don Escaped Texas

        yes: you can manufacture and sell absolutely anything without FDA approval

        so long as you label it dietary supplements or skin-toner

      • Ozymandias

        Underrated comment^^

      • tarran

        Generally the answer is no.

        Health care is actually very heavily regulated in the United States, and to manufacture test kits one has to have a facility both of whose premised and operating procedures have to be authorized by the FDA to manufacture the items.

        This authorization is both expensive and time consuming.

        There is a system in place to circumvent the standard process, but it requires getting special permissions, and merely reduces the requirements without coming anywhere close to eliminating them.

      • Ozymandias

        Somebody wrote an entire book that includes chapters on FDA licensing for both facilities and the product being manufactured.
        If only it were available to Glibs…?

      • UnCivilServant

        Memory of a Goldfish, Activate!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yes. And as a result, both diagnostic for individuals and surveillance within the overall population is pretty much non existent. As a consequence, the first confirmed case in my county was yesterday afternoon and the second was for a stiff who died several days ago. Given the lag between infection and death, it’s been growing for a couple weeks at least.

    • R C Dean

      So… rationing.

      Yes. Via screening before testing. Otherwise, panicked idiots empty the pipeline, and people who actually need to be tested can’t be.

    • PieInTheSky

      To stop the spread? I don’t get this argument

    • straffinrun

      Not all of us.

    • Sean

      I’m not.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Because perhaps, while having an outsized impact on older (60+) people, it still hits those 30 and above harder than flu, and would cause enough hospitalizations to raise the mortality rates for all causes and age groups?

      • Pope Jimbo

        All I want to hear is someone in charge go out and clearly explain this:

        1) These measures will not reduce the total number of infections, it is just going to slow down the rate of new infections
        2) The reason a slower rate is good is because it helps lower the burden on our health care system and gives us more time to ramp up testing kits and other medical supplies
        3) Until a vaccine is ready, we will have to deal with the virus, but we can manage. Don’t panic

        As I’ve said before, too many people I talk with think that hunkering down will result in the virus burning itself out. Also heard some jackass on the radio today think that it wouldn’t be responsible to return to normal until Sept. 2021 at the earliest. The radio hosts oohed and aahed. They didn’t think to ask him if at that point the cure isn’t worse than the disease.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, that’s been my beef with the media hysteria (and the basically ignoring it beforehand) and politicians. Next to zero candid honest communication on all of that. ‘People are too stupid to handle the truth, we’ve go to spoon feed it to them.’

        Also

        4) there may never be a viable vaccine

      • Don Escaped Texas

        yup

        This never ends. Viruses are the apex predator: they hate us.

        Americans should expect to die from a virus sooner or later at some age or the other while choking on kudzu and being bitten by a snake-head fish. The viruses only keep us around the same way we raise sheep: food and clothing.

        Same as it ever was: European pandemics did most of the heavy lifting for colonization. The Americas being thinned out by foreign bugs is hardly a new trick.

      • R C Dean

        + 1 smallpox blanket

      • R C Dean

        This is the internet, dammit. I come here to have my prejudices confirmed, not to learn “facts” and “history”.

      • Tundra

        Interesting, IF!

        American Indians were notoriously vulnerable to contagious diseases. Scientists have theorized that the Asians who migrated over the Bering land bridge millennia ago were exposed to such intense cold that the diseased among them died en route.

        That’s how it works here.

      • Tundra

        I agree 100%. Closing our lunch place was the last fucking straw.

      • Tulip

        Didn’t that woman say that at Trump’s press conference a few days ago?

      • R C Dean

        it still hits those 30 and above harder than flu,

        Assumes facts not yet in evidence.

        would cause enough hospitalizations to raise the mortality rates for all causes and age groups

        Only if its worse than a bad flu season, which honestly I’m thinking it won’t be.

  58. leon

    Now travel to Salt Lake is closed down because of the earthquake.

  59. Don Escaped Texas

    RCD:

    I went to bed before you posted last night. I thought I had credited your thinking correctly, and I hope you think I did. Anyway, you added a clarification to my clarification, and I just wanted to say that I agree with what you wrote.

    In the same wise that I enjoyed Neph’s remembering my opinion, I hope you are flattered that I remembered and agreed with yours.

    • R C Dean

      Appetite for debt should always be filtered through risk aversion. Too many people don’t do that, don’t look ahead and say “what if . . .”, and take on debt because they are short-term thinkers, and the term of their loan is longer than their horizon.

      I checked our portfolio for the first time yesterday. We are down around 10% for the calendar year. No biggie, really. If I was more leveraged, we’d be down more, because that’s what leverage does – increase your returns in up markers, increase your losses in down markets. I totally buy that over the long run, some leverage can increase your total returns, but will also increase your risk of being wiped out. I’m pretty sure I am leaving money on the table because I won’t borrow to invest. And I’m good with it. Because I am risk averse. Somebody who is less risk averse can make a perfectly rational decision to borrow to invest.

  60. Hyperion

    I’m more than a little concerned that the crisis will by far outlast the virus. Because politicians are just enjoying this too much to let go of it easily. So if new cases stop appearing, say around May, I think the politicians will still be unwilling to let things return to normal. What if it comes back! We still have to do something!

    • Drake

      In a couple of weeks I think people will realize that this government cure is worse than the disease.

      • Hyperion

        Some people are already realizing that.

    • AlmightyJB

      I’m already designing my Black Flag in my head.

  61. B.P.

    Whelp, my neighbor two doors down has the dreaded virus. It’s been nice chatting with you all.

    • Sean

      Confirmed or presumed?

      • B.P.

        Presumed, by three different doctors. Apparently they don’t want her driving in to be tested.

    • Drake

      Herpes?

  62. PieInTheSky

    Working from home can be very challenging as you can no longer steal emotional energy from your co-workers by distracting them.

    To combat this I suggest setting up your sound system and blasting these tracks to steal it from your neighbours instead.

    https://twitter.com/SimoRoth/status/1240275544861741059

    • Donation Not Taxation

      A vampire that feeds on emotions? Instead of or in addition to blood?

      • Drake

        White Court!

      • Donation Not Taxation

        +1 Dresden Files

      • robc

        AKA, extroverts.

  63. Donation Not Taxation

    The end of days continues apace with the Senate likely passing the 100 plus billion bill the House put together. Rand is attempting to push through an amendment to the bill.

    The tax payment deadline has been delayed 90 days, unfortunately not indefinitely.

    Imagine the stimulus if the American no-longer-federal government gave back the money They collected so far this year and forgave the rest.

    Then on to ending Their borrowing …

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      On the plus side, the long-term outlook for gold prices are getting very good once we get thru the liquidation phase.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Remember, gold bars and coins are hard surfaces. Chris Whitty, the highest ranking medical doctor in the UK’s medical bureaucracy, claims that -19 lasts 72 hours on hard surfaces. So quarantine or disinfect accordingly.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Meh. Dunno much about gold, but silver’s rather toxic to bugs (as is copper), and has been reported to have antiviral properties.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Not counting BC/BCE, heard about aluminium, bismuth, copper, gold, iron, lead, mercury, silver, and zinc as possible antivirals, but ionized. Know any URLs about neutral atoms?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        BC/BCE in this context means more than 2 021 years ago

  64. The Late P Brooks

    Whelp, my neighbor two doors down has the dreaded virus. It’s been nice chatting with you all.

    Shelter in place. The flamethrower decontamination detail will be there shortly.

    • Urthona

      This is the chance to go get this disease and get it over with. Go over.

      • R C Dean

        Both my parents had the same bad cold this winter I have heard that a lot of people had. Textbook “mild Kung Flu”. I was glad to put 2 plus 2 together, because I think the odds are pretty decent that they now have resistance if not immunity.

      • RAHeinlein

        I had that flu – wow, over a month to recover and lingering cough for weeks beyond.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        I had that in early Spring 2018. Hadn’t had anything like it for over a decade before that. Cough resolution didn’t occur until early summer.

      • B.P.

        She’s uh…. quite fit, as the Brits say. I should probably go check on her.

      • B.P.

        I knew before I even clicked.

  65. The Late P Brooks

    Every company who is now undervalued in the market should be doing this.

    Oddly enough, I saw a story a couple of days ago about some company suspending its buyback program. They probably don’t want to be accused of “profiteering” during a crisis.

    Meanwhile, the stock I should have snapped up Monday morning is up more than 30%.

  66. The Late P Brooks

    On the plus side, the long-term outlook for gold prices are getting very good once we get thru the liquidation phase.

    I was quite surprised when I saw gold was down. That was a week or so ago.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re having to sell their hedge positions in gold to pay their margin calls. Same thing happened in 2008.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      As usual, there’s a significant divergence between paper gold and physical. On a per-ounce basis, my favourite supplier is selling gold CDN Maple Leafs at above $2,250.00/troy ounce. Paper’s nowhere near that.

      • R C Dean

        Dang. I’ve been thinking about bumping up my specie reserves, which are down to around 5% of total net worth, but that’s a steep price for physical.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Well, that’s CDN bucks, of course. Specified in USD, it’s around $1545.00 at the same supplier.

  67. Fourscore

    The good news is that fewer people will believe/trust the government anymore. OTOH Never underestimate….

    Maybe, just maybe, this will break the spell of AOC/Bernie’s incantations on the younger crowd. What do I know?

    • Tundra

      Hope springs eternal.

      Everything good up there, Fourscore? How’s mama holding up?

      • Fourscore

        All is well, she is waiting for the ice to melt, like the rest of us. She has signed up for a cruise to northern Norway/Arctic Circle but because of the space limitations 2020 is booked (since last year, early) so she has a ticket for 2021. She thinks this may be her last trip, she’s already did the 7 continents thing but wants the Arctic Circle credentials.

    • Drake

      Holy shit.

    • RAHeinlein

      Borderline racist…

    • straffinrun

      The lady fanning herself in the back…

    • Rhywun

      Euro-dad jokes

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Maybe they can move it to Tranquility Spa @ Orphan 55.

  68. RAHeinlein

    Bill Ackman is on CNBC screaming that the President needs to shut everything down and send everyone home. “This thing is killing our children” – go back to shorting Herbalife.

  69. Mojeaux

    go back to shorting Herbalife.

    ????

  70. Ozymandias

    Middle daughter texted me this AM to tell me she’s “now a vector for Covid-19.” She found out that a patient she was treating tested positive for it, so now she’s on lockdown, poor kid.
    I believe youngest daughter – who had to return from semester abroad in Vienna because it closed down before it got started – likely had it, but maybe not. Might just have been a bad flu, although it seems to have been respiratory focused. Anyway, she’s back at her place now.

    I also had forgotten that I was in Shanghai in early November (roughly 8-12 Nov) and we were out in public, in close quarters with our Chinese hosts, sharing meals, etc. So, who knows? When the stupidity ends my suspicion is that this will be so far below the H1N1 that it will be embarrassing how we’ve reacted, but that assumes that people will actually engage in a realistic, dispassionate, post-event analysis and not memory-holing prior pandemics and retconning this one to fit their desired narratives.

  71. Agent Cooper

    Wife works in a cancer lab. Had to talk coworker off the ledge about people even being there working. While trying to let her know that she’s pretty essential to people with cancer, the crazy coworker reveals her sister was in Italy 2 weeks ago and she spent a whole weekend with her and the coworker’s daughter had a fever last week but she still came into work.

    So, the crazy bitching one could actually be the ‘patient zero’ who brings the virus to the lab. JFC.

    • Agent Cooper

      So this went through, but my previous comment is awaiting moderation?

    • UnCivilServant

      The spam filter has been flaky of late.