Wednesday night links of humping day

by | Mar 11, 2020 | Fun | 416 comments

Just because you can…

 

News is still pretty slow, let’s see what we can find.

 

Just dump some bleach on it.

 

You monster.

 

Good. You should be buying local.

(I’ve completely forgotten which story this was supposed to be linked to. Feel free to fill it in.)

 

Pot on kettle violence.

 

A little Chrissie Hynde tonight.

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

416 Comments

  1. Winston

    Where has everybody gone?

    • Aus

      Collapsing in front of the overflowing hospitals.

    • Sean

      Prepping for the apocalypse.

      • Sean

        Glib apocalypse army offer still stands. Bring bacon and bourbon. ?

      • Tulip

        Can do. If the zombie army heads my way, I’ll bug out to you. What’s your address again?

      • Sean

        Quakertown.

        Look for the No step on snek flag.

      • Tulip

        *makes note to buy extra bacon and bourbon, plus other booze*

    • C. Anacreon

      Where have all the Glibbers gone?

      Long time passing…

      • Gender Traitor

        Gone to shitlords, every one…

      • Fourscore

        “Gone to graveyards, every one”

        The corona has got the Glibnet

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Where have all the Glibbers gone?

        Long time passing…

        Dude (or dudette); you and I have to be about the same age because you make some great jokes and I get them.

        OMWC is a Firesign Theatre fan. Are you?

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Who isn’t?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Ralph Spoilsport?

      • dbleagle

        Rocky Rococo.

        I’ll get Nick Danger on the case.

      • AlmightyJB

        Check out her Instagram page.

  2. Winston

    Third link is same as second link

    • whiz

      Second verse, same as the first.

      • Fourscore

        Hank, #8

  3. Sean

    “He had a massive crush on her and constantly talked about how hot she was,”

    Was being the operative word there. That is not a flattering pic of her.

    • Sean

      Malarky.

    • Rhywun

      “We don’t know but let’s spread FUD anyway and oh yeah link it to last summer’s series of deaths caused by poison-laced black market THC cartridges.”

    • Fourscore

      No, just cancer but that can be treated

  4. commodious spittoon

    Good. You should be buying local.

    But Aniston was born in LA. Or are you saying (((Weinstein))) isn’t really American, bigot?

  5. Sean

    I am thrilled Bernie is staying in. He is going to crater confidence in Biden. The DNC will still drag Biden across the finish line, but he will fail spectaculary.

    • Fourscore

      He (Bernie) logged in with some great socialist questions today that he’s gonna spring on Joe on the Sunday Night Massacre. Joe’s crew will be ready with the answers but Joe won’t be.

    • Tejicano

      Yup, Bernie is going to keep this going up thru the convention and in the end he will keep his followers from voting for the democrats.

      Basically, he will take his ball and go home.

      • The Last American Hero

        Bs. He endorsed HRC. He’ll fall in line like a good little boy.

      • Mojeaux

        And it bit him in the ass. No way he’s doing that again.

      • Animal

        I’m not so sure. He did get a lakefront estate out of it the last time.

  6. Winston

    https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-ottawa-set-to-declare-plastics-as-toxic-substance/

    The federal government intends to designate plastics as toxic substances, a move industry stakeholders say is unduly aggressive and detrimental to the sector’s brand.

    ….

    Sarah King, who heads Greenpeace Canada’s plastics campaign, said she had expected the Liberals to use Schedule 1 because that is how they approached the ban on microbeads. The evidence to support the tactic, she said, is clear. “We need to move away from our reliance on fossil fuels, regardless of what format they’re in,” she said. “We’re in a climate crisis. We’re in a plastic pollution crisis. We’re in an oceans crisis. We’re in a biodiversity crisis.”

    • Suthenboy

      “We’re in a climate crisis. We’re in a plastic pollution crisis. We’re in an oceans crisis. We’re in a biodiversity crisis.”

      Evidence?

    • AlmightyJB

      We should go back to wood and steel. That will be better for the environment for sure.

      • Suthenboy

        I can’t argue with that.

      • l0b0t

        Won’t the increased fuel usage from shipping liquids in glass bottles far outweigh the savings from banning plastics?

    • MikeS

      “Never let a good crisis go to waste.”

  7. Heroic Mulatto

    ? ? HEY THOTZ ? ? ?? ? ? GET READY FOR THE ? ? PANDICKMIC!!! ? all you badass bitchterium sluts ??? ? Cockrona virus ? ? szn is here and you know what that means! ? ? ? Getting ? cumantined ? with your boys, spraying your ? oral secretions ? on your hoes ? getting choked so hard you ? ? EXPLODE. ? ? ? ? ? ??? Travel advisory in full effect from ?vachina?? ➡️ ☣️titaly???‼️ ?‼️ ?‼️ Hop off that plane ✈️ and hop ? this dick! ? ? ? If you wanna get dicked ? down by ? ? CUMVID-19 ? send this to 19 of your dirtiest whores. ? ? Or else you’re gonna get ?BUTT FUCKED ? by the CDC. ??? ??

    • Sean

      Cockrona virus.

      ?

      • Q Continuum

        Choice titles:

        “If you live in Lombardy thanks to the coronavirus you can fuck your cousin!”

        “A CURE FOR THE CORONA VIRUS IS GETTING FUCKED BY A PAWG”

        “Fuckerman part 3 i’ve fucked a japanese girl and got CoronaVirus”

        “How We Fight CORONAVIRUS – Risky Outdoor Sex & Creampie”

      • MikeS

        ALOL. Rule 34 strikes again!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Covid-barely legal

      • westernsloper

        The tread mill amirite?

  8. Suthenboy

    A Joe and Hillary ticket? Just heard.

    Choosing Hillary as your VP is like sticking a gun in your mouth.

    • Sean

      ?

      Source?

      • Suthenboy

        Some pundit overheard while I was reading here. I just laughed, didn’t look to see who. Wife is watching TV.

        I actually expect her to be the nominee after the convention. It had not occurred to me that she might be a running mate.

        Hint: The VP is a life insurance policy for the President. Hillary Clinton is the opposite of a life insurance policy.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        That’s my horrible fear. DNC promotes Joe and then, magically!, The Hildebeast arises to “add experience to the ticket” or somesuch shit and that’s enough to push them over. Jan 21st Joe says, “I can’t carry on” and The Felon assumes office.

        After all, it’s Her turn!

      • Q Continuum

        I think having her on the ticket would torpedo him. People *hate* her. She is probably the only person in America (except for maybe Charles Manson) that Trump could beat in 2016.

      • Tejicano

        I’ve been thinking this would be the DNC’s strategy. Add Herself as the VP and use the “frontrunner” as a trojan horse into the White House.

        Then either mumblin’ Joe steps down by previous agreement or he’s pushed out per the 25th amendment.

      • Tulip

        I think he picks Booker

      • Tejicano

        Are you calling him a Booker-picker?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Vince Foster.

  9. Mad Scientist

    (I’ve completely forgotten which story this was supposed to be linked to. Feel free to fill it in.)

    Here’s something interesting. Especially the last slide.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      What does that have to do with owning libtards by not buying citrus during the winter in the north?

      • Suthenboy

        Is that a thing? I have no idea what that means.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Busting Spud’s balls for his localism fetish.

      • Spudalicious

        I’ve got lemons, Meyer lemons, limes, and oranges on the counter. You live in New Hampshire. Suck on it.

      • Mad Scientist

        I have a lime tree in my yard! And a Howitzer! STAY BACK!

      • Mad Scientist

        This is more evidence that HM links are the very best links.

      • AlmightyJB

        You should check out the full video.

      • DOOMco

        One of the best

      • westernsloper

        I watched that with Spuds music link playing in the background I am calling “art”.

      • AlmightyJB

        That’s only time oranges are any good.

    • Q Continuum

      Bird flu has a higher case fatality rate than Ebola? I’m saying fake news.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        H5N1 is no joke.

      • AlmightyJB

        + driving a car

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    I loved her as a youth, her Politics drove me away, Ray Davies was Lucky,,

    • Tundra

      It’s weird, though, that she is so friendly with Limbaugh. Apparently, her dad loved the guy.

      Whatever. I love her music.

      • Rhywun

        This caught my eye a few days ago.

        The other day when you gave that award to Rush Limbaugh, my father would have been so delighted. My father and I didn’t always see eye-to-eye. We argued a lot but isn’t that the American way? The right to disagree without having your head chopped off?

        Right on.

  11. Q Continuum

    “A federal judge leveled harsh accusations against Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and the rest of the conservative majority, claiming that they are ‘actively participating in undermining American democracy.'”

    Even with a lifetime sinecure I’d think that you’d be a bit more circumspect talking shit about your boss.

    • Tejicano

      The Second Amendment would like a moment off the oxygen mask provided for life support to have a word with you.

  12. Tundra

    “Through the years he would frequently stare at her cleavage/breasts”

    Uh, so did millions of normal Americans.

    • Mad Scientist

      They’re coming for Q!

    • R C Dean

      The entire Friends franchise was built on her perky, perky nipples.

    • Tejicano

      I thought that was what the title “Friends” were referring to.

  13. Crusty Juggler

    I’m scared you guys.

    • Sean

      I’m not going to hold you.

    • MikeS

      My god.

  14. Rhywun

    You should be buying local.

    (I’ve completely forgotten which story this was supposed to be linked to. Feel free to fill it in.)

    “Slave labor” hand sanitizer…?

    • Tundra

      Nice.

    • Fourscore

      Raise the gas tax, don’t want the oil industry to suffer, keep gas high

    • Rhywun

      Have they considered fucking themselves and cutting spending?

    • AlmightyJB

      I will never regret the time I spent looking at hot babes.

      • commodious spittoon

        Until coronassvirus has you by the balls.

      • AlmightyJB

        I will fuck the Coronavirus in the ass

  15. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/they-are-rewriting-the-history-of-coronavirus-in-real-time/

    And yet among millions and perhaps tens of millions of people, a fable has coalesced: that deep budget cuts and a winnowing of experts by an ostensibly free market–leaning administration have led to the more rapid spread of the coronavirus (and its consequent effects on the world economy). It has become the story, stolid and inviolable.

    Make no mistake: some people will vote based upon this chronicling of events. These anecdotes, undeniably false, will nevertheless appear in books, editorials, and other historical depictions of the current era. They will be taught to children, and through the process of second-hand dealing in ideas over time will be woven into the fabric of the zeitgeist. In ten or twenty years it will have become part of the received knowledge of pundits amateur and expert alike.

    • kbolino

      If government power was the solution to the disease, then it never would have left China.

      • Winston

        Well if Trump had something different it would have been less worse. Because ORANGE MAN BAD.

      • kbolino

        If only the rest of the world had their own governments which weren’t sitting around all day waiting for America to tell them what to do.

  16. westernsloper

    Heard in local news that is to local this evening that the latest CO cases of plague de-jour are in Pitkin county. All associates of an Aussie who went on a skiing vacation. My first thoughts were of Animal and especially Raven Nation(? I am having a distrust of memory on the name of said glib and am thinking of running for president if it keeps up) who if I am not mistaken is an actual Aussie who spends some time in that particular area. Hope neither of them hob nobbed with any Aussie vacationers recently.

      • westernsloper

        Waffles is a Pitkin countyite?

      • Q Continuum

        I don’t think so, he just skis a lot.

      • Crusty Juggler

        He’s Polish?

      • westernsloper

        Aaaaah, I think he is a CA guy. He had some great steeps vids.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Waffle House, Castle Rock Co, would again…

    • Raven Nation

      Thanks WS. No, I wasn’t there but my wife lives there most of the time. AND, she is in one of the at-risk categories (susceptible to pneumonia). She may head east to join me. Things to be resolved.

      • Q Continuum

        “my wife lives there most of the time”

        No judgement, but curious how this shakes out?

      • Raven Nation

        V. complicated and a lot of details I can’t put down here. But, the (relatively) short version is that she works for a family company and is well nigh indispensable to said company. I have a really good job that would be very hard to leave. I spend the bulk of my summers & Christmas where she is; she spends 7-10 days each month where I am the rest of the year.

        Not ideal, but we’re making it work. The (realistic) hope is that she moves to where I am in about 2 years.

      • westernsloper

        Good to hear. Not that I think this shit is anything to worry about for younger folks of good health but ya know local thoughts. Weird, Glibs is local thoughts.

      • UnCivilServant

        some simulacrum of social activity keeps depression at bay.

        So arguing with you lot is therapy.

      • MikeS

        No, it’s not.

      • westernsloper

        Do you have arguing gloves? (also you better? Fever gone?)

      • UnCivilServant

        Fever broke overnight between monday and tuesday.

        Cough is slowly fading. Most other symptoms are done.

    • Animal

      Well, we’re in New Jersey at the moment while I’m on-site. Flying home for a week a week from Friday. I’m not too worried about this whole hoo-raw; my Dad always said, “never worry about things you can’t change.” We’re taking some elementary precautions and getting on with the business of living.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Jeremy Kyle, she said belatedly.

      • JD is Unemployed

        *shudder*

  17. Tulip

    We decided tonight that my mom, aunt and sister are not coming to visit. My mom and aunt are both in their 80s. Not worth the risk.

    • westernsloper

      Good choice.

      • Tulip

        It’s more the travel through airports than actually being here. Nasty things, airports and planes

      • westernsloper

        That is what I meant and agree with. Planes have the super duper benefit of you breathing the air that everybody else just breathed and exhaled and then you inhaled.

      • Raven Nation

        Yep. I have to go to Chicago next month. Wife has persuaded me to drive. With TSA & transferring, time-wise it’s close to a wash.

      • R C Dean

        If flying doesn’t save me at least 4 hours, I drive.

      • UnCivilServant

        If there isn’t an ocean in the way, I drive.

      • Jarflax

        I miss flying, but I don’t voluntarily submit myself to power mad morons in uniform

  18. Suthenboy

    Louisiana prediction: The Wuhan plague will show up in New Orleans first, spread out to Gulfport, Ms, Lafayette, Lake Charles etc. <–Provided the spread from Houston doesn't reach Lake Charles first. From there quickly to Baton Rouge and then up to Alexandria. That is the closest 'city' to me. By then it will be in Shreveport and possibly Monroe too.

    I wonder if we are going to have travel restrictions like Italy. That could slow it down but would crush the economy.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’d say Monroe sooner because of the Denver connection.

    • l0b0t

      The Mayor of NOLA has cancelled all public events – St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Italian Parade, etc., until further notice. My musician and service industry friends are hoppin’ ass mad. Shockingly, not hoppin’ ass mad enough to stop voting for the same kleptocratic Evil Party candidates again and again.

    • AlmightyJB

      Watch Logan’s Run?

    • Rhywun

      ^unreliable narrator

      People should not panic

  19. commodious spittoon

    Is it time to panic? I get all my news filtered through you Glibs like internet kidneys. Should I be ransacking the paper aisle at Smith’s? Is it Captain Trips time yet? Do I need to worry if some bombshell long-haired blonde chick shows up needing help?

    • AlmightyJB

      Glib’s will do to your kidneys what liquor does to your liver.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Buy some extra toilet paper and drinking water/gatorade, etc

      You will survive!

      • commodious spittoon

        DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT RANDOM WHITE-HAIRED SCHOOLTEACHER VIRGINS WHO SHOW UP WITH A MUTE CHILD!?

      • commodious spittoon

        She was white-haired, right? I think I remember that.

      • AlmightyJB

        Who?

      • Crusty Juggler

        Barbie Bush

      • commodious spittoon

        Nadine Cross, according to Wikipedia. I had to look it up. I’m certain she has white hair. I can’t remember if she’s the one who ends up gashing her throat open on a broken glass window, rather than suffer being studded by Randall Flagg.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think so. Laura San Giacomo. Her hair turned white after she hooked up with Randall Flagg, if I remember. It’s been a while since I last saw it.

      • Rhywun

        Do you feel an intense urge to walk to Las Vegas?

      • Tres Cool

        Better than Walking in LA

  20. Winston

    What is the most worrisome at the Coronavirus: The disease itself or the panic and quarantines? Either shows some serious problems with modern society.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Banning crowds from attending sporting events and closing schools, fucking up paychecks like whoa, making the situation that much worse.

    • Mad Scientist

      What worries me is if your mom gets it, we’ll all be infected. Again.

      • AlmightyJB

        Her diseases would kill it off straight away.

    • AlmightyJB

      Yeah, the overreaction is much worse. Not that I would hang out in the sick ward of a nursing home right now.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The most worrisome is overwhelming the health care system as has happened in Italy.

      Taking steps to slow the spread is the only play available.

  21. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/in-a-disease-panic-the-free-market-is-your-friend/

    In a disease panic, we are learning, people lose their minds and stop thinking clearly about things that matter. They also reach out to authority to save them. All of this is expected. And it’s very sad. Even sadder is how the unscrupulous power mongers among us use such times to enhance the power of the state over our lives and claim it is for our own good.

    We should expect more of our public intellectuals than to use this tragedy to trash market-based institutions that are working 24/7 to provide you and your loved ones what you need to survive this mess. When it’s the difference between health and sickness, life and death, government is the last institution you want to trust.

    I don’t know Jeff, this coronavirus panic does give the public intellectuals an excuse to undermine someone they hate and allows for them to gain more money and power. Win-Win situation for them I would say.

  22. grrizzly

    Tomorrow: US citizens waiving their passports trying to board the last planes in Europe departing for the United States.

    • straffinrun

      Interesting typo?

  23. Sean

    Oh good. We’re going to keep out those filthy Europeans for the next 30 days.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Finally some good to come from this.

      • AlmightyJB

        That and Social Security solvency.

      • Tulip

        My mom is planning to get on the waiting list for a retirement place. It has a 1 year waiting list. I told my sister “well, maybe not”, then I laughed. I’m going to hell aren’t I.

      • Rhywun

        *snort*

        /metoo

    • Fourscore

      So, a month from now all this will be over and it’ll be back to whatever normal is?

      It’ll be over when colleges suddenly realize that the students are getting by at home and don’t need the costs of tuition, parties and apartments. The colleges need those seats filled for the revenue.

      • whiz

        We’re temporarily switching to online classes starting on Mar. 23 (spring break is next week, so we have a week to prepare). And we’re sill getting paid.

      • RAHeinlein

        Isn’t that the point? Win-win for government workers while parents/students pay room, board and tuition? At some point the Bernie bro’s will wake-up to the fact that their tuition/student loans are paying for pensions and unnecessary salaries (primarily non-faculty) and pensions versus education.

      • straffinrun

        “At some point the Bernie bro’s will wake-up“

        Don’t hold your breath.

      • RAHeinlein

        That’s what my 20 y/o son tells me – “Mom, you don’t know these guys”

      • straffinrun

        Why do you think this will be over in a month?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The colleges need those seats filled for the revenue.

        Not my college.

  24. commodious spittoon

    Wow. I guess this is what Fortress America feels like.

    I hope we’re not restricting at the physical borders, cuz that would be racist.

    • commodious spittoon

      Didn’t we undergo a fucking world war, before those words were capitalized, while suffering a horrendous influenza outbreak? Did they interrupt Survivor for that, or just soldier on? Did they hold the president accountable for that?

      • Winston

        This is one of the downsides of modern instantaneous communications: you now expect the Politicians to Do Something about pretty much everything.

      • commodious spittoon

        I’m too pretty to die like this.

        Won’t you die for me, please?

  25. Crusty Juggler

    I will have you all know that starting tomorrow I will begin profiting off this panic, like the good, American capitalist I am.

    God Bless the USA!

    • MikeS

      Godspeed, good sir.

    • Fourscore

      You’re a good man, CJ. Making lemonade

  26. Winston

    Interesting how bans on public gatherings was supposed to be behavior of backwards authoritarian regimes and therefore bad but now those bans are okay as long as it for public or environmental health or if it is a gathering of bad people.

    • AlmightyJB

      Baaaaaaaaaaa.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      As I shake hands with Golfers after a round…..

    • straffinrun

      Banning for public > banning for regime protection

    • Suthenboy

      I think the ban is kinda pointless. I dont think anyone is going to be attending public gatherings anyway.
      During the WWI flu pandemic some of my family lived through they said the streets were deserted and at the peak of it if you even walked onto people’s porches you would catch a load of buckshot. The country essentially closed down, no govt orders needed.

      • straffinrun

        The people who get it early and recover are going to have a window when they are super valuable. If you can’t transmit it after recovery, that is a worker you can put in high risk zones.

      • Gustave Lytton

        CCP Rent-a-docs?

      • Rhywun

        The stories I’ve seen about people knowingly violating their quarantine tell me otherwise.

      • UnCivilServant

        They’ll be dead before it gets to the ghost town stage.

      • Tulip

        Lately I’ve been thinking about my Dad’s cousin Chuck. His mother died of the flu and he and his siblings lived with my Dad’s family until Chuck’s dad remarried. I don’t think it was during the Spanish flu.

        My maternal grandfather’s first job (he was a carpenter) was making coffins during the the Spanish flu epidemic.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My great grandfather died in the Spanish flu epidemic. G-grandmother remarried at some point and lived another 40+ years. My grandpa died when I was a kid so can’t ask him but from census records, looks like he left home to live with his sister and her husband in Nampa for a couple of years then enlisted in the Navy a bit prior to WWII.

      • Tulip

        Chuck was part of the Berlin airlift and met Ilsa during it. On his last flight, he smuggled her into the plane and when they got to England they got married. She was 16 and is still living, though in ill health. Before Chuck passed away, I visited them in Asheville. They used to visit us when I was a kid and were (are) some of my favorite relatives.

  27. AlmightyJB

    What are are you buying? What are you short selling?

    • Sean

      Liquor. Nothing.

      • Fourscore

        Politicians-selling Democrat pols

      • AlmightyJB

        I have plenty of booze:)

    • Suthenboy

      I am buying canned soup and gatorade powder. Oh, and lots of ibuprofen.

    • westernsloper

      Tequila and soda

    • straffinrun

      Bernie.

      • straffinrun

        And when one family member is sick, one or more others may be involved in their care

        This I don’t get. Unless it’s really bad, just suck it up and take care of yourself. Fuck TLC if you don’t want to give your family tender loving corona.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I assume that means the sick person shouldn’t be rummaging through the kitchen or prepping meals for the whole family.

      • straffinrun

        With flu, I go in my spare room and shutter myself in. Some people are total pussies when the get sick. Some people are total assholes and expect mom to make dinner when she’s running a high fever. Don’t be a pussy or an asshole is my approach.

      • Tulip

        If it’s a kid?

      • straffinrun

        Kids are different. I’d take care of my kid. The wife? Sorry, but you aren’t dying and it’ll be magnitudes worse if we all get sick. Off to the guest room. Food and water by the door.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Food and water by the door.

        I think I saw that movie..

  28. UnCivilServant

    I’m torn about this

    I love the original Westwood Studios games, but this is still EA we’re talking about today.

  29. Raven Nation

    Tom Hanks is in Australia and has corona virus.

    • straffinrun

      Pretty soon it’ll be easier to list the people that don’t have it.

      • MikeS

        I’m not so sure.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        He wears gloves religiously.

      • straffinrun

        Revenge of the Introverts!

    • MikeS

      Does he win a prize for being the first A-list celeb?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Golden Globulin

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I was wondering who would be the first celeb.

      • robc

        Juventus player is positive but dont know if he is celeb or not.

        Iranian media guy?

      • Rhywun

        There’s the Olimpiakos/Forest owner but I don’t count him as a celeb.

      • MikeS

        Madeleine Roux
        @Authoroux
        ·
        21m
        Replying to
        @richardmarx

        @RitaWilson
        and
        @tomhanks
        if something happens to them it will be the day i punch god in the face

        Hoooo-kaaaaay

      • Rhywun

        I swear, if this thing gets Betty White…

        *chuckle*

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Down under they call it fosters virus.

  30. Ayn Random Variation

    Not giving is……giving?

    So i put on Maddow to see how deranged they’d be after Trump’s speech. They did not disappoint. The general theme was that everything he said was crazy or to distract from how horribly he has handled the virus.

    Anyway, Trump mentioned a partial reduction in payroll taxes, and one the talking heads actually said we have to watch who ends up with that money.

    You would think somebody would say wtf are you talking about? What money?

    • kbolino

      Every tax cut is really just a diversion into Trump’s pocket.

    • RAHeinlein

      The Dem talking point is only “corporations” benefit from the payroll tax. What money? Employer and employee pay – so depending-on how the reduction is set-up (from what I have heard both sides benefit), employers pay less and employees have less deducted (i.e. higher paychecks).

      • Hyperion

        Ya’ll just stop it already. It is known that tax cuts are only for the rich and are stolen from the poor. If we’d actually stop giving rich people tax cuts, the poor would be rich and the rich would be poor, just like it should be.

        That’s just exactly how much sense they make.

    • Fourscore

      The deficit this year was already a Trillion, what’s another Trillion? We’re gonna need new printing presses and Zimbabwe advisors.

    • Suthenboy

      After the hysterical nonsense and lies that have been coming out of their mouths for the last four years does anyone actually listen to them anymore?

      • Hyperion

        Yes, the same people who listened to them before. What they say is what some people want to hear. You’re poor because some people are rich. If those rich people would stop stealing all of the money, you would be rich, just like that. Believing rhetoric like that requires no effort, but seems to make some people feel good, gives them a smug self affirmation that they’ve right and nothing of their current situation is in any way their own fault. That type of shit has been working for millennia to guide people around like sheep. Why should they stop now, it works. Vote for me, I’ll save you, this time I promise! Works.

    • commodious spittoon

      Why I’m not dating. You motherfuckers are diseased.

      • Tulip

        *raises hand* I’m not

      • commodious spittoon

        Tulip, I’d love to take you out.

        The rest of you, you’re diseased and you motherfuckers are being treated like cord wood when you die.

        I think that’s how the book went. Cord wood corpses.

      • Spudalicious

        “Cord Wood Corpses”

        Now THAT’S a band name.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Album title.

      • commodious spittoon

        IT’S IN THE STAND.

        Man, fuck you Stephen King for monopolizing such an awesome name for that okay novel.

      • AlmightyJB

        Just my brain

      • Fourscore

        Deceased? Sort of a good reason to give up dating but go slowly

    • Fourscore

      Zero sum?

    • Suthenboy

      I never thought of the clap as a benefit, but hey, whatever creams your Twinkie.

  31. westernsloper

    Going to wash my hands………..out.

    • straffinrun

      Alaric reincarnated as a virus.

      • AlmightyJB

        Lol

    • Hyperion

      Looks like a prime antifa recruit.

  32. Q Continuum

    Rhywun, you watchin’ the NYCFC CCL game?

    • Rhywun

      Not anymore. ?

    • whiz

      Gee, he died even though he wore a mask.

    • Urthona

      Except Tom Hanks is in his 60s.

  33. The Bearded Hobbit

    I love how the dog is willing to give up the sex for some warm vomit.

    • Rhywun

      I couldn’t tear my eyes off that gif for like a dozen iterations or more.

    • straffinrun

      Who wouldn’t?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Right?

      • straffinrun

        Normally one follows the other for me. I might be doing it wrong.

  34. Hyperion

    The airlines are getting hammered right now. I know 4 people who have cancelled international flights in the past few days, including my wife. It’s not out of fear of the virus, but out of hysteria. Getting quarantined somewhere would pretty much ruin your plans, your day, your week, or worse. Best to just ride it out, it will all blow over in a month or two.

    • Hyperion

      “but out of hysteria”

      Just to clarify, I don’t mean people cancelling flights out of hysteria, but out of fear of the current level of hysteria and overreaction on part of individuals, private and public organizations, and even governments.

      • Tundra

        Flights from Europe are now banned, except for he UK.

        Spawn 1 is in the UK studying. We need to decide whether to bring him home or hope for the best.

        This fucking sucks.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah it does. My wife decided to cancel today at sort of the last moment or she would have been out of the country for 3 weeks. We just decided not worth the risk right now. Not even worth the worry. Like I said, not because of the virus, but because of the panic.

      • RAHeinlein

        30-days no flights from Europe (except UK) starting Friday. I’d bring him home.

      • Hyperion

        I’m with you. I’d go with the ‘get out of dodge while the getting’s good’. Because we don’t know when this things winds down and we move on to the next crisis.

      • Tulip

        Bring him home. NOW. Seriously, the military public health guys I work with are really, sincerely worried.

        The military takes this kind of thing very, very seriously. Norovirus on an aircraft carrier is a disaster.

      • Ted S.

        The military takes this kind of thing very, very seriously.

        Ask Ozy about that.

      • Tulip

        I work with some public health guys. They are sincerely worried and I don’t think it’s hysteria. They are very concerned about capacity for those that need respirators and hospital beds. They’re also worried this could become a seasonal thing. We just don’t know. Canceling is the smart thing.

      • Hyperion

        Everyone should be worried. But the hysteria is also very real. I have to go strongly with it’s been seriously over-hyped. It’s what we do these days. News cycles are short lived, clicks have to be gotten while there are still enough people interested in clicking. First world life, this is it. I could see this coming ever since the Weather Channel started naming every cold front and covering it breathlessly 24/7. Soon, seasonal pollen peaks will get names.

    • straffinrun

      Let’s hope TSA workers are hardest hit.

      • Hyperion

        The luggage pickings will be slim. Expect most people traveling now to have anything valuable they checked disappear due to mysterious circumstances.

    • Cannoli

      I can’t tell whether to be worried or not about the virus itself. Some of my family are at higher risk for complications (sisters have an asthma-like respiratory condition, grandfather is still recovering from sepsis) so I really hope this is overblown.

      My husband and two oldest sisters work for an airline, though, so even if everything’s fine medically, the financial impacts on us are going to suck.

      • RAHeinlein

        The airline isn’t paying workers?

      • straffinrun

        Bailouts incoming.

      • Cannoli

        They are still paying salaries, but other comp like bonuses won’t happen, the stock is cratering, etc. Hopefully that’ll be the worst of it, but other airlines are trying to get employees to take voluntary unpaid leave, so we’ll see.

      • Tulip

        That’s rough.

    • Tejicano

      I’m not so worried about the virus itself. My wife and I are both healthy and this virus doesn’t seem to have much effect on those under 19 so our kids should be OK. F-I-L is almost 80, poor health with bad lungs so he’s sitting in the cross hairs – but he never did one thing for his health even when doctors gave him years of warnings.

      I’m still planning to fly back to the US in a few weeks. Since that will be on a military flight and I’ll be driving once I hit the west coast I don’t see much to worry about.

  35. Lachowsky

    Just saw the nba put their season on hiatus due to a fake panic over a flu bug that is a little nastier than normal.

    This is further proof that the nba is full of floppers. They probably need a technical called against them.

    • Hyperion

      It’s mass hysteria. Flames being fanned hard by our esteemed media.

      • Tulip

        I really don’t think so anymore. The more I learn, the scarier this gets. I think China’s reaction should be a clue. I do suspect they engineered it which is why they reacted so fast to this compared to SARS

      • straffinrun

        Doesn’t look to be man made, but I agree that this isn’t anything to sneeze at.

      • Drake

        I think it came from their lab – manmade, bred, or discovered, it doesn’t matter – the assholes lost control of it and now millions of people are going to die.

      • Lachowsky

        Get back with me in two months when this whole scare has blown over. There will be no millions dead. You are falling for the propaganda being pushed by the ruling class that is trying to scare you and crash the economy.

        This is nothing but fearmongering being pushed by the elites in this country.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It is concerning, take prudent measures but don’t lose your mind. Rogan had a guy on yesterday who’s a communicable disease specialist and it was a very informative interview:

        https://youtu.be/E3URhJx0NSw

      • Hyperion

        The only thing we know for certain at this point, is it’s Trump’s fault.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That wasn’t the gist of the discussion but that is the way the political opportunists are trying to slant it.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I think China’s reaction should be a clue. I do suspect they engineered it which is why they reacted so fast to this compared to SARS

        You think it’s because of that and not the massive amount of economic development China experienced over almost 2 decades?

        What did William of Ockham ever do to you?

      • straffinrun

        If the CIA can create AIDS…

      • commodious spittoon

        Aids AND the crack epidemic? That’s too much.

      • Urthona

        The only way the CIA could create one is if they were actually trying to create the other.

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s not a flu bug, it’s a different virus.

    • Urthona

      Well some player in the NBA got it, so now everyone is a few degrees of separation. They have to wait to verify they’re clear before they resume play.

  36. straffinrun

    I’m out and about today. The elderly are out in full force. The loneliness fear is stronger than the fear of Covid.

  37. slumbrew - double secret satan

    Not to totally rain on all the good news these days, but it turns out the dog has stage 3 hemangiosarcoma (presumably), which has metastasized to the lungs. Survival time is “measured in days to a few weeks”.

    So, good times.

    https://imgur.com/a/9bCx7BB

    We’ll see what a diet of bacon and whatever the hell else she wants does for her over the next few weeks.

    • Tulip

      Sorry Slumbrew.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Give her a scratch me behind the ears for me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Stupid coronavirusseasonal allergies.

    • straffinrun

      Sorry, Slum. A pooch bucket list is a wonderful idea, though.

    • grrizzly

      That really sucks. Sorry to hear this.

    • Cannoli

      I’m so sorry slumbrew

    • Tundra

      Shit.

      Sorry, brother.

    • Jarflax

      Sorry Slumbrew

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      My condolences. She looks like a good doggo.

    • hayeksplosives

      Cheers to ol’ Faithful there.
      (I’M not crying, YOU’RE crying!!)

      ?

    • Shirley Knott

      I’m so sorry.

  38. Gustave Lytton

    Spitting distance of Deschutes Brwery and the only beer here is Mirror Pond. No Black Butte, no Obsidian. But they sure have plenty of White Claw, other mass market piss water, and some goddawful hopster crap on tap. And Stella Arshit.

    • Don Escaped ORD

      insane

  39. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m sad now, kisses for pooch,

    • hayeksplosives

      What are we coming to?

  40. straffinrun

    It’s for trying times like this that god gave us Josh Groban.

  41. Charles Easterly

    Spudalicious,

    Why did you choose that (link/repeating) imagery for the, ahem, entry to your contribution?

  42. Mojeaux

    Mornin’.

    TFW you kicked ass on a job but you’re completely worn out from doing it.

    • Charles Easterly

      Good morning Mojeaux.

      • Mojeaux

        Hello, Charles! Lovely to see you!

  43. Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

    So, speaking of communicable diseases–I keep seeing commercials for Descovy, especially on TRU TV, and various other basic cable channels.

    I suppose it’s a great medical invention, but…the commercial really seems like a method of just ticking a bunch of current tropes/identities/stereotypes on some checklist. For example, they specifically say that

    it is not for use in people assigned female at birth

    Isn’t it just easier, and a bit more ‘correct’ to say it isn’t for people lacking a Y chromosome, or, am I not understanding this correctly…? And, while I know that RX commercials aren’t exactly video textbooks, this commercial just kinda seems rather lacking in information.

    • KSuellington

      It’s random, you just get what you’re assigned. Progressives are very good at hijacking language and popularizing it. The one that really bothers me is “people of color”. You hear it used all the time now. Never “colored people” which is highly problematic. They never seem to want to give it a definition, but when pressed it seems like it is all non white people versus white people, which is an utterly biased, bizarre and fucked up way to view humanity.

      • Don Escaped ORD

        Progressives are very good at hijacking language

        There’s enough of that to go around. The one I loathe is “I just can’t find good people.” That’s RepubliSpeak for: I resent when markets work for others, usually spoken by someone who is plenty proud of what the markets had been doing for him up until just now.

        Everyone has a babel that covers their retreat . . . from markets, from economics, from human nature. Fairness, wealth disparity, gentrification: the world runs about a foot deep in weasel words at all times.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        “I just can’t find good people.”

        Not meaning to quibble or argue–to me, I would equate that more with either a generational thing (the kids these days, and all that), or, a shift in the local labor pool that doesn’t have any explanation with the speaker, and makes hiring a fairly specific worker-type all the more difficult.

        What have been the situations that you allude to?

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        From the political side that used to rail against labels. Of course, there’s a whole of of “used to’ going around for all political stripes.

        Also, from the pool that “fucking loves science”, they don’t seem to use a more technical term, such as Caucasian, but come up with that “Latinx” shit…

        /Womxn--sounds like Trek horseshit.

      • KSuellington

        “people assigned female at birth“

        That is a very strange turn of phrase, one that I have heard in the last year and hope doesn’t become a thing. Unless you are talking about intersex individuals, that is weird and incorrect to say. I’m not the language police, but I think you have to call out bad turns of it.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        Very much this. I can’t say that the ad people, or, Rx people said this just to be PC–the course of speech has changed enough that, just saying that it’s not for ‘females” wouldn’t be sufficient for many people. Sex and gender terms have become so conflated, and remained so, with ‘smash the system’ types.

      • Rhywun

        From the political side that used to rail against labels

        Yes, these are political divisions – nothing more. “Hispanic”, for example. All of them are just another part of the left’s divide-and-conquer strategy.

  44. Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

    Awwww…Congratulations on your little coincidence!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Spousal privilege?

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        Maybe she ran out of brotherly love?

        But, yeah–as the woe-is-me, minority, elected official, she’s so up her own ass, she’s probably looking for privilege anywhere she can find it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Like in the middle of a deposition. Or a criminal investigation.

    • Rhywun

      OFFS.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        Eh, I think Gustave has it right: OFSPS!

  45. LJW

    Damn woke up with a really bad sore throat and mild fever. Last one alive don’t forget to turn the lights off.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Get better soon! preferably with a toddy.

      Trump sounded like a hoarser, breathless version of Schooner Tuna guy earlier. Is he OK?

    • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

      I think the god food clogged him plenty.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        “god food”??

        FFS–*dog food. No ambrosia in the wastelands

      • KSuellington

        Exactly, he likely wiped his ass with the label, but it was the least of his concerns. To me, it’s strange that the booze sections wouldn’t get wiped out first. You can make booze pretty easy, but it does generally take a few weeks. I’d go without tp in a heartbeat as opposed to beer.

  46. Mojeaux

    *sigh*

    Mr. Mojeaux’s work is starting to make noises about OTHER PEOPLE going home to work. Not him. Oh, no. They promised. Yeah, okay, whatever.

    My church’s biannual general conference will be broadcast only. Nobody is going to be allowed into the tabernacle to see it live, which is some people’s life dream.

    The literary board I’m on decided to cancel its conference.

    Good heavens, people. Am I the only one in the least bit unworried? All I hear is incessant cries of WOLF WOLF WOLF!!!

    • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

      Sorry, Mo. And, no, you aren’t the only one. I just hope neither of us gets ‘forced’ to worry.

    • PieInTheSky

      I am personally quite worried…

    • invisible finger

      My worry isn’t about the virus as much as it is about all the government/social fallout from the panic. And that we haven’t even scratched the surface of the panic yet. I keep remembering the phrase I heard from the last financial crisis: things can stay irrational a lot longer than I can stay solvent.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Thissssssss.

        With a pregnant wife and a sick 2 year old, I’m a little bit worried about the prospects of us getting Coronavirus and it causing financial and/ot permanent health damage. I’m much more worried about the social implications of having a sick 2 year old right now.

  47. Gustave Lytton

    Rule 34? https://youtu.be/jJNLley5Ggg

    The cuts to the audience when she asks if there are any questions is precious. All male an none seem to be taking notes.

  48. PieInTheSky

    Stupid Gobert. No more NBA.

    • straffinrun

      That sucks. Won’t get that Clipper v Laker series we wanted.

    • Ted S.

      They don’t want Milwaukee to win the title.

  49. PieInTheSky

    Coronavirus live updates: Trump suspends all travel from Europe to US for 30 days, excluding UK

    And I had a colleague who had a vacation planned for the 4th of April to the US

    • Rhywun

      You’re not sending us your best.

    • PieInTheSky

      A Presidential Proclamation, published shortly after Mr Trump’s speech, specified that the ban applies to anyone who has been in the EU’s Schengen border-free area within 14 days prior to their arrival in the US.

      This implies that Ireland is excluded from the ban as it is not one of the 26 Schengen countries. Bulgaria, Croatia and Romania are also EU members without being part of the Schengen area.

      Romania seems is not banned but there are no direct flights to the US, so the question is if my colleagues flight is through England nor Amsterdam/Frankfurt

    • Gustave Lytton

      No problem(*). They just need to hang out in the UK for two weeks prior to leaving.

      *Assumes there won’t be further restrictions in the meantime.

  50. straffinrun

    School cancelled so where are all the kids packing themselves into? McD’s. Just wanted a coffee and the place is filled.

    • PieInTheSky

      Well they should all stay home that is the point

      Who gets coffee from McD?

      • straffinrun

        Cheap and not bad. Japanese Jr/HS use slang that is horrible on the ears. They should be quarantined for that alone.

      • PieInTheSky

        and not bad – I find that hard to believe

      • straffinrun

        Mcsnob^

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        Pie–that does seem to be a fairly big consensus in the US–“McD’s coffee is pretty decent”. Not everyone says so, and even the ones who do may think it’s simply acceptable (as opposed to good), Add that in with the ubiquitous-ness of McDonald’s, and their fairly decent drive-through system, and voila!–you have “not bad coffee”.

      • straffinrun

        I like it more than Starbucks.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        I find that incredibly easy to believe.

        The more difficult thing to comprehend is the sheer number of people who seem to flock to SARSbucks for burnt coffee. I fully admit that I used to get caramel macchiatos fairly often back in the day (briefly dating a hottie barista back around ’00 bumped that up a bit), but they are quite trash.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        And, yes–I lamed their name. And, I’ll do it again.

      • PieInTheSky

        Starbucks is quite bad though

      • PieInTheSky

        Look if it is not single origin coffee fresh roasted by a hipster, it is not good coffee .

        Also why are there two damn e in coffee? I always write coffe and the spelcheck complains. One e is enough

      • invisible finger

        Ok Bernie

      • straffinrun

        Where’d this finger come from? At this time in this place?

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        The bigger question is, where is it going??

      • invisible finger

        Lol staff. Fell asleep early and woke up far too early. Can’t relax and can’t concentrate enough to work yet.

      • invisible finger

        Digby , nobody needs more than one E. Pie sounded like Bern there. Perhaps sleep deprivation is getting to me.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

        Could be–I was actually referring to you, as i, “where’d this finger come from?”

        😉

      • straffinrun

        We’re assuming it’s a finger. Maybe hoping.

      • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion
      • robc

        The two fs are okay with you?

  51. hayeksplosives

    Aaaarrrh! My iPhone displays Glibs terribly, about 2 characters per line.

    Is there an app for that?

    • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

      Yeeesh….for Iphone? Any phone, really…

      None that i know of. What browser are you using?

    • straffinrun

      S
      A
      M
      E

      H
      E
      R
      E
      .

    • UnCivilServant

      Can you attach an external monitor to the phone?

      • JD is Unemployed

        I think you need an AirPlay-compatible smart TV for that to work.

      • UnCivilServant

        I used to have a phone with a mini-HDMI output port.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Horizontal orientation helps.

  52. hayeksplosives

    My company is poised to do something asinine such as close the plant for a few weeks.

    I had to hand in a list of people who can work from home.

    • Lord Digby's Shameless Self-Promotion

      Is it warming up in your area? If so, is pool-side business an option?

  53. UnCivilServant

    I should get off my rear and head in to work.

  54. Festus

    My rear is rooted and my work is done. Lead on MacDuff!

    • Sean

      “My rear is rooted”

      Figging?

      • Festus

        That’s the Glib response that I was jigging for!

      • UnCivilServant

        I just figured your waiting period for your government-provided colonoscopy had ended.

      • Festus

        I bailed on mine when a few minor changes in diet made it superfluous.

      • Sean

        ??

    • The Hyperbole

      It’s ‘Lay on, Macduff’

      • Festus

        You are correct but I’ve heard both.

      • The Hyperbole

        I was just being an ass, it’s one of those misquotes that is so common that it’s a thing of it’s own now. Like Cagney’s ‘You dirty rat.’

      • UnCivilServant

        At some point it is not a misquote but an English idiom.

        Don’t let it bug you.

      • The Hyperbole

        That’s what I meant. Thanks for using your fancy wordsmithing skills to make it clearer, showoff.

      • Chipwooder

        And damned be he who cries “Hold, enough”!

  55. Festus

    Buddy from the plant tonight – “We should shut down the U.S. border seeing as how that asshole Trump fucked up this outbreak so badly!” when I mentioned the European travel ban.
    Sometimes I forget that the people that I work with are so hard core Leftist. People that I like and respect on a personal and professional level who would throw me to the wolves if they knew my political and philosophical leanings.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Once it got out of China this was inevitable regardless of who was in charge. That being said, righties are going overboard in minimizing the issue for political purposes as a reaction to the left’s BS which isn’t helpful either.

      • Festus

        Well “Current Year” happens to be an election year. Fuck them both sideways. The glee that the media feels about this is very off-putting and the fact that useful idiots like the one mentioned above are buying it is worrisome to me.

    • Festus

      From the sidebar – Don Lemon freaks out on Kasich over Trump’s Wuhan address. “We need straight! The American people need straight!” Oh Don. Never change!

    • UnCivilServant

      I think there’s enough evidence that they have to stop saying dinosaurs were wiped out. They’re still around and make everyday dinner for millions of people.

    • UnCivilServant

      The CT scan image is a nice addition. You can’t see the teeth in the photograph and it looks like a beak instead of a toothed snout.

  56. robc

    Just saw an article: Average “event-driven” bear market goes down 29%, but recovers back to previous point within 15 months.

    Sounds like we have a nice dollar cost averaging year+ ahead of us. Good for consistent buyers, bad for consistent sellers.