Why I’m not taking coronavirus seriously

by | Mar 19, 2020 | Health Care, Liberty, Rant | 598 comments

In these times of strife, I have been taking this coronavirus thing in stride. I’m really not worried about it. Yes some people have died and some more will die. But I still feel that the response taken by government has been over-reactive. My attitude has been labeled by some in our culture as “Not taking it seriously”, or “Denying the importance of the coronoavirus.” or “downplaying it” (looking at you Dave Smith).

So after some pondering I have decided to write a quick essay on why I’m such a denier. Let me show you why I fucking hate science.

The Politicians…

The reason why I’m not worried about this is because that is precisely what the tyrant politicians want me to do. Let me give you some examples. First we have AOC, who in a Glengerry Glen Ross way has managed to Always. Be. Commie-ing. Now with “Emergency Measures”, which of course turn to “Always Measures”.

Then you have the NYC Mayor, who was so popular that he placed behind a small time mayor from Indiana in the presidential primary. De Blasio has called for the nationalization of critical Emergency companies and factories in order to ensure 24/7 production. What no one asked was the unstated assumption, that De Blassio was willing to conscript factory workers to work much longer hours than they were willing to work already, and that the market was willing to pay. Still he insists that we need to treat this like a war (an eternal favorite for progressives), so i guess this would just be #WarSlavery.

And don’t think the GOP gets off with a clean bill of health. They have decided, like buck private at a whore house , that just pumping money into the situation will somehow make this mess go away. Anything and everything must be done to stop a recession that would unseat the president they have all denounced.

And this isn’t even mentioning all the Governors, and lower executives who are euphorically exercising their own emergency powers to do things ranging from the medically plausible to naked power grab: Force people to stay at homes, Close businesses, restrict Gun sales, stop accepting online FOIA requests and impose curfews. But don’t worry its all for our best interest.

…And their Idiots …

Now I can’t only fault the politicians. Seizing power is in their nature. Panic, like war, is the health of the sate. But what about our great 4th Estate? How have the Journalists been keeping those politicians in check? Lets Check in with Rania Khalek:

Rania, like the rest of our media class, falls into what I call “Mental Fascists”. They cannot conceive of any way things could be resolved that happens Outside or (heaven forbid) in contra to State driven solutions. So while our civil liberties are whittled away, the class of people who — during good times — claims to be the stalwart defenders of them, explains why akshually we really don’t need them in this one case because Daddy Government will make all our choices for us. If that choice leaves you destitute, well your just being selfish because you wanted some granny in Maine to die.

… And the Fools

Of course, the real joke is on all of us. Because we are the fools who thought that things like constitutions, checks and balances, and independent oversight would save us from having to make hard choices about our governance. We hid behind those things so as to not have to face the reality that any government is and will be as powerful as people are willing to let it be. We blame the politicians for being tyrants, when it is our fellow man who cowers, begs and pleads for the politician to exercise his fearful might.

So I’m not worried about Tom Hanks Disease/Wuhan Flu/Mao’s Revenge. No, I’ll stay away from stores for now, work from home and be prudent. But I’m not worried about it. I’m worried about the state of our country, and the caliber of its subjects. And during this time of mandatory isolation, I’m going to be busy figuring out how to make sure I’m permanently isolated from the Politicians, the Idiots and the Fools.

 

 

Acknowledgments:

– Slammer on the Californians call 911 link

– Late P Brooks for Gun Sales Link

– Gustav and Don for the FBI FOIA link

– The rest of the Glibertariat (i don’t know who) who shared the majority of the tweets and links in this article. Thank You.

About The Author

leon

leon

A little too young to have anything worth listening to. A little too old to have anything worth saying.

598 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m not an R Tard,
    good write up Leon +1000

    • leon

      Thanks!

  2. Sean

    ” But I’m not worried about it. I’m worried about the state of our country, and the caliber of its subjects. ”

    Agreed. 100%

    • DEG

      Seconded.

      • dbleagle

        Thirded. Always remember the ratchet on the yoke of government control of your life only goes one way.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        “Why is this even up for debate?”

  3. Sean

    My boss will take care of me. I’m not even worried about financial woes right now. I am scared shirtless how long this is going to go on and the wake of damage it will leave on America. I’m worried about food shortages and the possibility of anarchy.

    • Sean

      Heh…shirtless. Stupid autocorrect.

      Bourbon is kicking in and I’m feeling marginally better.

    • straffinrun

      Chaos not anarchy.

      • Sean

        5.56/.223 – close enough.

        Save the ?s

      • Tres Cool

        /sksksksksk
        /AndIoop

      • Rhywun

        I’m out of scrunchies. I’ll be back after a short trip to the previous thread.

    • Nephilium

      My job has been insane this past week as we roll out measures to shift people to be able to take calls from home. I’ve reached out to my niece to let her know she can reach out if she needs help. She works at a bar/restaurant and last I heard, she didn’t know if they were going to stay open for takeout or not (regardless, I’m willing to bet hours have been cut way down).

      But yeah, I’m scared about the long term effect of this.

      • Rhywun

        Hey Neph, a possibly stupid question.

        Is there some reason people can’t just use their own phones? Or failing that, a company-issued phone? Why the great demand for softphones?

      • Nephilium

        The main reason is that these are for call centers, which are handling (some numbers/centers) over a dozen calls a second. So you need an ACD (automatic contact distributor) to send the calls to agents who are available, and handle calls in queue, while following the call routing. You shut down the call center, the agents need some way for the calls to get sent to them. If you are using cell phones (and the cost and thought of rolling out hundreds of cell phones over this same period has its own logistical nightmares), once the call is sent off the phone system, it’ll end at that cell phone. If it doesn’t get answered, then it goes to the cell phone VM. Since the cell phone isn’t tied to the phone system, the system can’t track if an agent is currently on a call or not (and when they are done with the call). Some of the later people trying to make the change are running into issues getting their hands on headsets (just regular USB/3.5mm headsets).

      • Rhywun

        Got it, thanks!

        My perspective was limited by my experience as a developer who just needs a phone for meetings and chit-chat with coworkers. And thus not needing any of that extra functionality.

      • Nephilium

        Not a problem at all. It’s kind of a niche skill set (with it’s own niches inside it, such as Workforce Planning and QA).

    • leon

      My boss will take care of me. I’m not even worried about financial woes right now.

      If there is one thing I’m optimistic/hopeful about is that this will provide an opportunity for people to band together and help each other, without the government direction. The more we learn to support ourselves the less we will be willing to let the government direct everything.

  4. commodious spittoon

    Civil liberties are important, but in a pandemic day ending in the letter y I think it’s right for the government to impose extreme restrictions to prevent spread, including shutting things down, quarantining areas and making people stay home.

    If the history of the income tax taught us nothing else, it’s that these edge-case policies never stay put.

    Why is this even up for debate?

    I bet she says the same thing about climate change.

    • DesigNate

      That is rage inducing.

    • Rhywun

      Like many things Donald does, I think he’s both right and could probably benefit from toning it down.

  5. straffinrun

    If you can toss away civil liberties in a crisis, you don’t believe in civil liberties at all. Same type of thinking that says, “I’m for free speech, but within reason.”

  6. LCDR_Fish

    So….random Mormon writing question (just came to mind while packing my books). I’m pretty familiar with the Orson Scott Card opinions, but where does LE Modesitt Jr fall into popular contemporary Mormon fiction? Doesn’t come up so much in his fantasy, but he uses a LOT of Mormon themes in his futuristic SF series (lots of common sense/libertarian themes in the vein of Pournelle too – if a little less militaristic). One of my favorite contemporaries – although I have a lot of catching up to do still.

    • leon

      I’m not dialed into the Mormon Writing world, so i only know Card, Sanderson and our very own Moj.

      Doesn’t come up so much in his fantasy, but he uses a LOT of Mormon themes in his futuristic SF series (lots of common sense/libertarian themes in the vein of Pournelle too – if a little less militaristic)

      I’d like to argue that the doctrine of the church is very libertarian (and i really do believe it is) but the culture of the membership is conservative, and so you can get some militarism leaking in from that.

  7. AlmightyJB

    It’s going to be interesting to see what happens in 2-3 weeks, when spring fever sets in.

    • Rhywun

      It’s going to be 76 degrees here tomorrow – that’s like 20 degrees above normal.

      • Nephilium

        68 (and raining) tomorrow, dropping into the 20’s overnight for a high of 33 on Saturday. Fuck you weather! Can’t you at least make it nice so I can go ride a bike? I’m pretty sure I can outpace anyone having trouble breathing.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, we’re getting thunderstorms with the unusual heat.

      • MikeS

        -2F overnight with a high of 13F tomorrow.

        Fuck-off Canada.

  8. Subwoofer

    Support Liberland!

    Seriously though, this is fucked. It’s could be catastrophic if it goes on more than a month.

    I’ve been classifying this as a “Middle One”. The true SHTF event is, by default, the “Big One”. The crisis of 2008 and to a lesser extent 2001 were “Little One”s. If this goes on for 2 months it could get elevated to Big One status.

    If that happens all bets are off and it’s time for the boogaloo. If the authorities can deliberately devastate the entire economy, basically for political reasons, without an armed revolution afterwards, America is truly dead.

    • Lackadaisical

      don’t worry. .. America is dead.

  9. commodious spittoon

    The store was normally busy for a weekday evening. And mostly stocked, except for the paper aisle. We have become a country of wannabe robber barons, each of us trying to corner the TP market.

    Assholes.

    • straffinrun

      Assholes are like toilet paper: Not everybody has one. Wait…

      • UnCivilServant

        Poor colostomy patients.

      • Tejicano

        Only assholes need toilet paper.

      • Jarflax

        Pussies need paper!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Walmart was wiped clean today, except for Beer/Booze, Pallets full. I overheard a convo with a worker who said they get whatever comes in, no ordering, just what comes on the trucks,
      and the 24 hour store is now open from 7am til 8pm, limit 2 per customer……
      Not good for BhC

    • Rhywun

      Jesus. That looks like something I would toss.

    • straffinrun

      Why would you do that to cauliflower?

      • Fourscore

        Leave the cauliflower uncooked, the way god intended it to be eaten

      • straffinrun

        And Ranch dressing. Mmmm.

      • Fourscore

        I’m on my way to your h…oh, I just remembered your address

      • Crusty Juggler

        Marry it?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Burnt Cauliflower and breaded something? I’m sorry…..

      • UnCivilServant

        Worse, the only thing on that plate appears to be cauliflower,

    • AlmightyJB

      Where’s the sauce?

    • Gender Traitor

      The alt-text is a lie. That’s brains. Zombie confirmed.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        That’s what I thought at first–some kind of fried brain thing. Or, maybe, some sort of sea-life/anemone .

    • Sean

      That’s a cute side dish. Needs moar raclette.

    • Playa Manhattan

      I’m doing 5 lbs of barbacoa. I’m getting tired of cooking 3 meals a day; this one should be good for a few days worth of meals.

    • Plinker762

      Pfft It’s not even rat on a stick

      • UnCivilServant

        You had a rat?

        I didn’t even have a stick.

      • Plinker762

        I’m living it up

      • Gender Traitor
      • AlmightyJB

        Nice:)

      • Tejicano

        Just drop the soap and I’m sure somebody will give you one.

    • westernsloper

      WTF kind of carpenter are you if you don’t have frozen burritos in the freezer and have to subsist on Cauliflower?
      I am ashamed for you.

  10. AlmightyJB

    “and the caliber of its subjects”

    Hoist the black fla……….oh why bother.

    • Sean

      I loaded some more rifle mags tonight.

      Keep pushing me.

      Go ahead. I dare you. (Not AJB)

  11. straffinrun

    My brother and I have been playing the “How would Ancapistan handle this?” for all the latest news coming out. Leaving out the contentious, “How would you fight an invading army?” question, I’m pretty sure Ancapistan would handle every problem infinitely better.

    • AlmightyJB

      The warlords would ensure of it. Lol.

  12. DEG

    Huh

    On Tuesday, 4,438 people filed fresh unemployment claims, followed by 5,075 others on Wednesday. That compares with 518 initial claims for the third week of March in 2019. The highest weekly total during the Great Recession was 4,058 in January 2011, according to Copadis.

    “There’s been a very strong run into the unemployment insurance system, as folks can imagine,” the governor said at a news conference.

    Brooke Watkins has been trying since Monday to file for unemployment.

    When the Manchester mother of two finally got through on the website, she hit a snag and couldn’t get it resolved by the person answering the department’s phone, so her claim remains in limbo.

    “It’s been such a nightmare,” she said. “The state completely wasn’t prepared like they thought they were.”

    • Nephilium

      The state completely wasn’t prepared like they thought they were.”

      Damn. My stock on shocked faces is running low. I’ve got some Clorox wipes I can trade for someone’s shocked face…

  13. Crusty Juggler

    I bought a used pair of Keen work boots, and boy do I like them.

    • pistoffnick

      I, too, like my Keens. Lots of room under the steel toe. Unfortunately I bought the waterproof version and my feet sweat.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Samesies and samesies.

  14. hayeksplosives

    The duration of time the Americans will put up with business closures and curfews will tell us much.

    • straffinrun

      If the government told us that ghosts are waiting to get you, a non small percentage of Muricans would hide under their blankets while tweeting how they fucking love science.

      • UnCivilServant

        We should use that information to lock them in.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Much about what? how stupid we are? How Sheepled we have become? Really, this is Stupid and needs to stop. Are there no Adults in the room anymore?

    • Sean

      My business closing started tonight and I’m fucking livid. White hot livid.

      I don’t know what next week will bring, but I know I won’t like it.

      • DEG

        Sorry.

      • AlmightyJB

        That sucks Sean, hopefully that is very short-term.

      • DesigNate

        That sucks.!

        I’ve been in anger mode for two weeks.

    • westernsloper

      I don’t think it will tell you anything we don’t already know. Most people suck.

      • Not Another Naked Digby
  15. Fourscore

    You speak the truth, Leon. Like you, I’m not worried for myself. Today I ranted while the Prez was on TV, he understands nothing of economics, his advisors (not counting Kudlow) are among the least qualified to advise. I’m surprised Kudlow hasn’t resigned, I’m surprised he even excepted the position alongside Mnuchin/Navarro/Lighthouse.
    Plainly, the ignorant leading the ignorant.

    I vividly remember the polio epidemics in the late ’40s-early ’50s while living in Mpls. Not one kid, AFAIK, in the grade school/junior high/neighborhood where I lived contracted polio, yet thousands died nationally. We played with our friends, went to school. Our parents were concerned but not terrified. I can’t recall any changes of our routines, one fall we missed the first month of school but that was because of a teacher’s strike. We loved it, most moms were stay at home and probably hated it but such was life in the ’50s.

    Polio has been forgotten and well it should be. This BS will blow over but the ramifications will linger for years with the economic disruptions. Futures have been changed already. It has been said that “Only the good die young” but in the case of CV it appears that mostly its the old and infirm. Pretty much a confirmation of life.

    • Tres Cool

      Furthermore- they’ve tested their powers (not yet fully), and its just a waiting game to see how long until people push back. So reset, things go back to normal, wait for the next crisis.

      • Fourscore

        “Things go back to the NEW normal…”

      • AlmightyJB

        Exactly. The overton window of authoritarianism.

    • leon

      Thanks Fourscore. Yup, We are ‘led’ by idiots. It would be great if the lesson learned from this is not to depend on the government to solve these crisis, but the sides have already arrayed into making this a battle over the wrong idiot being in charge or not.

    • Plinker762

      Mojo has been pining for a culling

    • westernsloper

      It has been said that “Only the good die young” but in the case of CV it appears that mostly its the old and infirm.

      They are pushing the news here that this is now changing. It is effecting the young (affecting?) fuck it. A neighboring county ordered a shelter in place because they had three cases of ‘problematic concern’ something something. Same county had National Guard testing in Telluride a few days ago. I found it interesting that Gov Polis called out the National Guard to test over here in the land of anti Polis.

      • Rhywun

        It’s not “changing”. It’s just a data point, a one-drop death rule. A useful one to push more freakout.

      • westernsloper

        Data you say?

        The declaration came a day after 70 Colorado National Guard members started to arrive in town to set up a temporary testing site at the Lawson Hill intercept lot. On Tuesday, 100 county residents were tested in an effort to collect state data.

  16. Playa Manhattan

    One of my 2 trips out of the house today: went to Big 5 Sporting Goods to buy dumbbells (my gym is closed). Of course, they sold out of them less than an hour after they opened.

    I did note, however, that there was a very long line at the gun counter.

    • Crusty Juggler

      lol what kind of man doesn’t already have dumbbells?

      But really you are a smart guy – bodyweight workouts can be just as intense.

    • Fourscore

      ” buy dumbbells”

      You’re gonna bribe government officials/inspectors/cops? If it works you need to do an article, we could all use a little help.

  17. AlmightyJB

    Well my vacation started at 4pm today. Don’t have to be back until the 31st. Normally that involves a lot of going out to eat, bar hopping, maybe a movie. Guess that’s not going to happen. Trails are muddy, grey and rainy. Guess it’s cooking, drinking, reading, and banging. Not so bad.

    • Playa Manhattan

      Kids are out until at least Spring Break.

      Still going to go to Palm Desert that week.

      • AlmightyJB

        I’m sure there is plenty of recreational things to do there. Hopefully, we dry out here.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Almost all of it outdoors. I know places where I won’t see another person all day

      • Crusty Juggler

        I’ve ruled out Winston’s Mom’s bedroom and the rear seat of her Geo Storm.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        …Two things that are accommodating, presuming you can keep them running?

      • MikeS

        …The last two places in America where more than 10 people congregate?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Half-bow for Mike…

  18. westernsloper

    Californians are calling 911 on their coughing neighbors

    This should go into every bodies goal list as “not to have neighbors”.

    Great thoughts leon, I concur.

    • leon

      Thanks. Yeah, people who will voluntarily call down the force of the state for something so tenuous ought to be blacklisted from living in decent society.

  19. Crusty Juggler

    Retarded: the company I work for has been doing some CoVid19 cleanings.

    We will go into sites where people are still working.

    My staff is in a fairly high level of personal protection.

    The client and is not.

    It’s so silly.

  20. Gender Traitor

    I’ve found myself waiting every day for our unesteemed Governor’s daily edict to see what sector of the economy he plans to destroy. He seems to have run out of industries to close for the time being, so his confidence-inspiring leadership for the day was:

    DeWine asked Ohioans to fly the American flag outside their home as a sign of unity.

    I felt like puking, but I’m pretty sure the virus wasn’t responsible.

    • AlmightyJB

      “I’ve found myself waiting every day for our unesteemed Governor’s daily edict to see what sector of the economy he plans to destroy.”

      Same here. I thought I hated him before.

    • Nephilium

      I’ve still got my Drink Beer Made Here flag flying. I don’t think DeWine would like the American flags that I’ve got to fly… Whiskey Rebellion and Gadsden.

      • AlmightyJB

        You know how much that self-righteous statist asshole loved shutting down the bars. He’s a prick.

      • Nephilium

        I really hope the Ohio Brewer’s Association comes out against that bastard. In other news, one of my local bars announced they’re offering growler fills of any empty brought, instead of just filling newly sold growlers. I may have to make it a point to get over there this weekend.

      • AlmightyJB

        I’ve never bought a growler. I was planning on getting one tonight after work from my local pub but ended up napping instead. Will do tomorrow. I know they have Fat Head Google Fogger on tap.

      • Nephilium

        That is a good one, I grabbed Fat Head’s Hop Juju (4 pack cans) and a crowler of their Mojo Jojo on Tuesday. The production facility is less then 5 miles from my house.

      • AlmightyJB

        Excellent!

      • Gender Traitor

        Almost forgot – he DID order internet cafes to close.

      • Crusty Juggler

        WHO ORDERED THE COLD RED

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        ::raises hand reluctantly::

        I like Big Red…especially over ice.

    • Rhywun

      Dark-humor belly-laugh. Good grief.

    • straffinrun

      Americans have a can-do attitude. It’s who we are. It’s in our DNA. When we set our minds to it, we can do anything.

    • Plinker762

      Fly them upside down?

      • westernsloper

        ? I don’t own an American flag but damn if I am not buying one tomorrow!

      • UnCivilServant

        I hear they’re mostly made in Iran.

      • westernsloper

        Well I will probably burn it in the end so no prob.

    • Sean

      Look to MikeS for guidance

      • MikeS

        ?

      • Sean

        ???

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Gotta find a pic of Tom with the double bird/double vee

      • Gender Traitor

        Don’t we always in all things?

  21. Crusty Juggler

    The Philly accent is worse than the Boston accent.

    • DEG

      No.

    • AlmightyJB

      It’s a tough call, but I’m going to have to disagree.

      • Ted S.

        Circle gets the square!

    • Crusty Juggler

      Baltimore > Philly > Boston

    • Sensei

      There is a world of difference between South Philly and the Main LIne.

  22. Plinker762

    My skepticism comes from the unreliable data being used to make the projections. Poor data and erring on the side of caution may be expected at the beginning but there seems to be no revisions made as more information becomes available. I find it interesting that articles which examine what has been learned so far are met with calls about being Trumptard propaganda. And number of cases are never compared to the total population.

  23. Tulip

    I’m making a sourdough starter. I put in the fridge for the night because it is going crazy. It may soon achieve sentience.

    • Nephilium

      It’s still a bit chilly up here, so mine took a good couple days to get going. It’s bubbling up nicely now, and should be ready for first use this weekend. Here’s hoping the processing of the spent grains into flour goes well.

      • Nephilium

        Oh that’s not so bad. What volumes did you start with?

      • Tulip

        3/4 c flour, 1/2 c water

      • Nephilium

        I stepped mine up, it’s at ~2 lbs now. It’s smelling all bready, not much in the way of sour yet.

    • westernsloper

      *Gasp* Don’t kill it! Poor thing, it is alive!

      • UnCivilServant

        What’s the green cans?

      • Tulip

        Waterloo Lime Sparkling Water

      • UnCivilServant

        That explains why I wasn’t able to identify it.

      • Jarflax

        Heads up, that account appears to have an actual name displayed might want to ask SP to kill the post

      • Tulip

        I know.

      • westernsloper

        Looks great. I started one once where I scraped black crud off the top. I am not afeared of biology much but I am not that smart. Looks like you have an abundance of yeasts in your environment. Nice work!

      • Tulip

        I have always thought of myself as a clean person. It’s making me question how clean my kitchen is.

      • westernsloper

        It has not to do with the cleanliness of ones kitchen, it has to do with where you live. Yeast is in the air. Back before Jesse shunned us this topic was discussed. He said he couldn’t start one in LA because it had nasty air. Or at least that was my take on the conversation. I have started them in both Phoenix and here but I am lazy so I just let them go on the counter. What’s the worst that can happen?

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Jesse

        He was here two weeks ago? Is this some old story?

      • westernsloper

        It was an old topic visited. I am not here unless weekends or when sent home because of the plague so I can’t be expected to keep track of who comments where. “shunned” was a bad choice of words. I do know he is in the background of the site and probably comments. I am way too lazy to read all posts and comments here. I just remember the topic because I think it is interesting.

    • KSuellington

      My wife has one that she has been keeping going for the past 7 years. I don’t eat many pancakes, but sourdough pancakes are the best.

      • Tulip

        As soon as I mixed it, I thought ‘I want pancakes’. I don’t have syrup, but I have fancy honey and I have pear butter and I have bacon. Nothing better than sourdough pancakes cooked in bacon fat. Anxiously waiting.

  24. commodious spittoon

    I got the go-ahead and the credentials to use our remote-service to work from home, but I don’t think I can because my work computer is asleep. WTF.

  25. Crusty Juggler

    Ask Amy: How can a shy man meet women?

    Dear Amy: I’m a kind, attractive man, but I’m shy around women. So, tell me: If I’m at the market and an attractive woman comes up next to me and silently looks at vegetables, does she want me to introduce myself?

    — Shy in Boston

    Dear Shy: Fellow shoppers actually could be shopping for food, but your instinct is correct; supermarkets can be great places to meet people. Practice your technique to see what works best for you.

    Unfortunately, the produce section can lead a nervous (or nervy?) person to be inappropriate. Stay away from melons, tangelos and cucumbers.

    Introducing yourself can seem abrupt, but opening with a question can be a great way to start a conversation with someone.

    You say something like, “What do you think, do these peppers look fresh to you? I can never tell.” A woman interested in meeting you will respond in a way that leaves room for a follow-up from you.

    “Women” of Glibertarians, what say you?

    • Tulip

      I’ve never met anyone at the grocery store

      • straffinrun

        Really? I met my old lover there.

      • Fourscore

        Whaddya think of this cauliflower, Baby?

      • straffinrun

        I spread my Corona in the grocery store
        The snow was falling Christmas Eve
        I jizzed behind her in the frozen foods
        And I wiped it on her sleeve

        She didn’t recognize the taste at first
        But then her eyes flew open wide
        She went to slug me and she spilled her puss
        And we laughed until we cried

        We took her groceries to the test kit stand
        The food was bundled up and tagged
        We stood there lost in our embarrassment
        As the conversation dragged

        Went to kill ourselves a Chink or two
        But couldn’t find a Sushi bar
        I got a six pack from the liquor store
        And we drank it in her car

      • straffinrun

        Cut off the last verses. Probably for the best, eh.

      • Gender Traitor

        Inspired. I couldn’t say for sure by what, but…inspired.

      • Ted S.

        I think it’s Same Auld Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg.

      • Gender Traitor

        I recognized the song. I suspect the parody was inspired by either alcohol or Satan. (I know – why not both?)

      • straffinrun

        Who’s Dan Fogelberg?

      • MikeS

        I’m not proud to admit that I agree with Ted.

      • Tejicano

        + 1 1812 Overture

      • Tejicano

        I guess I’ll never dial in the over/under on a joke with you people

      • UnCivilServant

        Most jokes flop.

        Tis the truth of comedy.

      • straffinrun

        It’s hard to Tell.

      • Gender Traitor

        I think I recall Fogelberg admitting the connection/inspiration at a concert back in the early ’80s. (Yes, my friends and I drove from Oxford, OH, to Bloomington, IN, to hear him. I think we passed up a GoGo’s concert on our own campus.)

      • Rhywun

        passed up a GoGo’s concert

        *gasp*

      • Gender Traitor

        <—–longtime sucker for guitar player boyz.

      • westernsloper

        *deletes comment

      • straffinrun

        Do it.

      • Tejicano

        I double-dog dare you!

      • MikeS

        SAY IT!

      • leon

        Well you need to start silently look at vegetables.

      • RAHeinlein

        Vegetables can be really sensuous, don’t you think?

      • westernsloper

        Pics?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        +1 Marion Wormer

      • Tejicano

        I’ve had people try to pick me up at supermarkets before. But I’m not gay so it didn’t go anywhere.

      • AlmightyJB

        You have that problem too huh.

      • Tejicano

        Not since I became no longer young and good looking

    • Crusty Juggler

      “Vegetables are sensuous, people are sensual.”

      • Jarflax

        Terry Schiavo was both?

      • commodious spittoon

        Oh good lord.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::golf clap::

    • Don Escaped Texas

      eHarmony’s got binders full of chicks: smart, educated earners of every stripe and flavor

      unless you live in Mayberry, any employed guy who doesn’t live with his mother will have more to handle that he can say grace over

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m almost 25 years out of practice, so I couldn’t really say, but the suggested question seems like an innocent enough way to make the attempt.

    • AlmightyJB

      She forgot to tell him to get really drunk first.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      She might want you to introduce yourself and she might just be trying to pick out a nice head of lettuce. In today’s climate, and considering you’re awkward enough to write to a newspaper columnist for advice, I think you should save yourself the trouble and just hire a hooker.

    • commodious spittoon

      I’m having a real problem meeting women, on account of not looking. In the past I didn’t need to. All my relationships fell into my lap due to friends. I’ve never approached a woman in my life. And now that I have to, the thought makes me feel claustrophobic, like I want to crawl up my own spine to get away from having to talk to someone who isn’t already into me.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Use this line:

        “Hey babe, you want daddy to give you a cummer?”

      • Tulip

        Don’t do that.

      • commodious spittoon

        What about: “You know what’s my favorite They Might Be Giants song?”

        (I don’t have a favorite. They’re all my favorite.)

      • Rhywun

        Tough call but I do have one.

      • Tejicano

        I always preferred “Come with me if you want to live.”

      • Tejicano

        But the truth is that I soon got over the fear of rejection and was able to approach women easily but (in retrospect) it seems my approach was always so innocuous and low key that they assumed I wasn’t interested that way.

        …except for the period after my divorce when I was off the chain and over the top.

      • Rhywun

        *1984’s Michael Biehn, sigh*

      • Tejicano

        Yeah, I was probably about as good looking as he was but the sawed-off shotgun on a sling under my raincoat didn’t quite enhance effectiveness of the line.

  26. UnCivilServant

    “Viral Hematophagic Athananthropy is not as bad as other forms of the disease.”

    “As opposed to what, bacterial?”

    “Sarcophagic or Neurophagic.”

    “Is there at least an easier term for it?”

    “Raposat Syndrome?”

    “How about something normal people would recognize?”

    “Vampirism.”

    • Gender Traitor

      “Vampirism.”

      “RAAAAAACIIIIIST!”

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m trying to come up with a story to go with it.

  27. straffinrun

    Ilhan Omar, Cuomo and Newsome all having nice words to say about Trump scares me more than anything else.

    • AlmightyJB

      When Daddy is handing out candy….

    • Nephilium

      Seeing headlines that are talking about DeWine’s actions being a guide for the country…

    • commodious spittoon

      Trump Season 2 confirmed.

      If it’s anything like Young Pope, it’s gonna suck.

      I hear. I didn’t watch it.

      Or Young Pope.

    • leon

      He’s sending it to the Army because they are the ones who made the virus. It is all making sense!

      • Raven Nation

        No, no, no, no, NO!

        How many times do I have to explain this??!!

        It’s the CIA that manufactures viruses – not the military!

      • Tejicano

        If the CIA was making the viruses the infected people would soon become the healthiest they ever had been.

    • LJW

      Once they start dishing out Chloroquine to people, if it works as said hopefully we’ll start to see the numbers drop before summer.

      • westernsloper
      • AlmightyJB

        Lol.

      • AlmightyJB

        I have Gin And Tonic. Guess that’s breakfast tomorrow!

    • westernsloper

      . It says cycling has an essential role to play in both transport and exercise, and that cycle shops should be allowed to continue operating, to keep people riding.

      The fact they are asking is the scariest thing. Should be “We will keep operating. And we are armed, people coming into cycle shops are doing it voluntarily and well, fuck off!”

    • Rhywun

      Agree; stupid.

      Both Italy and Spain banned cycling in the past week.

      Also stupid.

      Everything is stupid these days.

  28. Crusty Juggler

    Favorite television them song. The winner wins one roll of toilet paper.

    GO!

    • Crusty Juggler

      Please note that Magnum PI is clearly #1, so that choice isn’t available.

    • Raven Nation

      Rockford Files

      Close 2nd: Hill Street Blues

    • Crusty Juggler
      • MikeS

        That is stupid.

      • Crusty Juggler

        The awesome show that inspired millions to buy little red pocket tools is stupid?

        You know what?

        YOU’RE STUPID

      • Rhywun

        That was not on in my house. Doubt I’ve seen a full episode. I was either in the LR watching whatever my mom chose or in my bedroom watching B movies on the indie channel.

      • MikeS

        You didn’t miss much.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Beverly Hillbillies

      • Gender Traitor

        Neck and neck with Gilligan’s Island.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I concur,

    • commodious spittoon

      Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know

      Can you repeat the question?

      • MikeS

        Better Andy

      • MikeS

        Again:

        Better Andy

      • Gender Traitor

        Good ‘un!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Love it!

      • RAHeinlein

        +1

      • commodious spittoon

        Used to palpate my little heart when I was a kid. That, and Unsolved Mysteries. Freaky shit.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Unsolved Mysteries

        Damn right!

    • Ted S.

      The $25,000 Pyramid

    • Rhywun
      • Crusty Juggler

        Top ten all time easily. Nice.

      • Rhywun

        True story: I taped it off my TV when I first started getting “interested” in music. Using my mom’s boom-box. I guess I was around 12 or 13 years old.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Clearly not but I’ll allow it.

    • MikeS

      The fuck is wrong iwth you people?

      Tied

      for

      first

      • DEG

        Dukes of Hazzard win.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can never forgive them…

        … for suggesting ethanol fuel to the EPA.

      • Mad Scientist

        Simon & Simon is the correct answer.

        You’re a winner!

      • MikeS

        It really is a really good theme song. It’s the cream of the crop.

        Waylon Jennings is almost unfair and probably shouldn’t be allowed.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Excellent! Clearly not the winner because I’m old enough where the Muppets can make me cry, but excellent nonetheless.

        And it inspired this!

      • MikeS

        Someone should create a TV show with the sole purpose of making that the theme song.

      • Gender Traitor

        This one will bring a tear to your eye.

      • MikeS

        OK. That’s a very serious contender. Especially the changing closing bit.

      • Rhywun

        Awesome. Makes me grin so broadly.

    • MikeS

      Wait! I just remembered the best one!

      • westernsloper

        ? ?

      • KSuellington

        Top 10 for sure there.

        Ok, in no particular order.

        Dukes of Hazzard, Magnum PI, ChiPS, Miami Vice, The Fall Guy, Simon and Simon, Dallas, The Jefferson’s, Diff’rent Strokes, Rockford Files.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Yeah–they changed away form that to the one in my link.

        GOD!!

      • l0b0t

        Special honorable mention for the show with a great theme and the best incidental music in all of television, The Price Is Right

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        You are on fire, L0!

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Theme to SWAT

        Damn straight! I was gonna do a three-list, and included it, but, got sidetracked when I saw KSue’s list (Diffrent Strokes, yo).

      • Rhywun

        1. Cool tune. Never saw the show.
        2. One of my favorites (well spotted) + an amazing show

        #2 wins

    • Rhywun

      Fine. Here’s the obvious winner. Gimmie TP.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        True.

        Then again, we’ve overlooked quite a few. But, yeah Barney was a good un.

      • Rhywun

        Yep, good choice.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        Finally. Here I am, a day later and I couldn’t believe that nobody had posted the correct answer, until now.

    • The Hyperbole

      No way in hell I’m clicking through all those choices to check but if Sanford and Son wasn’t in there you have all failed me. Again.

  29. Yusef drives a Kia

    Realtor: I’d like to show the house tomorrow about 11
    Me: sure, did you let them know I’m staying until December?
    Realtor: ummmm, lemme call you back,
    Land Barons are Assholes, let’s fight, or buy me out….

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Oh, are you? Good!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      1 and done! although 14 is delightful…

    • DEG

      #1’s outfit looks too complicated.

      I’ll just take #37.

      • Jarflax

        You get 6

      • DEG

        She’s bringing a knife to a gun fight.

    • l0b0t

      HUZZAH! My absolute favorite makes a triple appearance – 5, 52, and 81.

  30. Tundra

    Excellent rant.

    9/10

    Will read again.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      It goes up, it pops, it comes down, we gather data, next….

      • commodious spittoon

        Pornhub?

      • Tejicano

        LOL. Noice!

  31. Tulip

    Good rant, Leon!

    • leon

      Thanks! It felt good to get out.

  32. Toxteth O’Grady

    +1 simple desultory philippic

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Me Gronk no no bigs words……………..

  33. Q Continuum

    From the 10th of March new advancements in technology will allow Coronavirus to transmit through the internet. With this statement, I give notice to Coronavirus it is strictly forbidden to infect, transmit, or take any other action against me and/or my family. The violation of my health can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute. NOTE: Coronavirus is now a public entity. All internet users must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tacitly allowing the infection of you, as well as the transmission of the Coronavirus to your family members. CORONAVIRUS DOES NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO INFECT ME.

    • pistoffnick

      “CORONAVIRUS DOES NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO INFECT ME.”

      Caries about as much weight as “I do not consent to this search.’ and “Am I being detained?”

    • Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

      Experimental Internet gas.

  34. Suthenboy

    I posted too late in the other thread because I didnt see this one up. I’ll repost then read the article and post on topic.

    “But lead in general doesn’t seem to perform well if it hits metal or glass”

    I have done extensive tests on wood, metal and glass. Different ranges, surfaces at different angles and from different ranges.

    Range seems to have the greatest effect. Ever spin a top? It starts off wobbling, then stabilizes, then slows down and begins wobbling again. Bullets perform in exactly the same way. The rifling spins it and it exits the barrel and begins wobbling. Down range a bit more it stabilizes and flies spinning straight. At near the end of its flight the spinning slows and it wobbles again. If the bullet strikes a surface while it is wobbling its performance is poor penetration and greatly altered trajectory. If it strikes dead nose on penetration improves a lot and trajectory also but to a lesser degree. The greater the angle of the surface is less than 90 degrees, the greater the alteration of both. The angled surface is akin to the bullet wobbling…it doesn’t strike nose dead on.

    Wood penetration at 20 yards for 30 caliber, 150 grain bullet at 2750 fps – 20 inches or less. Same load at 100 yards – 36 to 40 inches.

    Test results on glass – best performance on plate window glass striking dead on, single pane. Poorest performance on car windshield glass. So poor in fact that shooting through the windshield of a car headed straight at you is unlikely to hit the driver without a magazine dump. Most car occupants shot are shot through side window opening after the first shot shatters the window out.

    Sheet metal – 90 degrees at 20 yards barely changes trajectory but greatly decreases velocity and penetration of Back target. At about 20 degrees penetration becomes unlikely for pistols.

    Tested: 22lr, 38 spl, 9mm Luger, 44 mag, 45 acp, 30-06 Springfield.

    Oh, and the back targets were 8 inches of newspaper soaked over night in water and then wrapped in two layers of denim.

    • Tejicano

      Oh, and all lead bullets without a steel core, jacketed or not, will only leave a lead smudge on engine blocks. Even rifle bullets.

      • Jarflax

        Yeah, but they’ll make a flaming mess of the battery packs in a Tesla I’ll bet. Someone should test this.

  35. dorvinion

    Something I find encouraging is all the small businesses trying to figure out ways to keep things going so they can continue to serve their customers and employees.

    Something I find discouraging is how many people (and businesses) just seem to give absolutely no thought to financial preparedness for when bad stuff happens.
    Ya, this is a bit of an unprecedented thing going on here, but having some savings is gonna make it more likely you don’t lose everything before its all over.

    $25 a week saved for the last ten years would give most people at least a couple months to tide them over (longer with sacrifices).
    Even a mere $5 a week would have softened the blows.

    When it comes to businesses, the airlines for example just don’t seem to ever consider making financial plans in case everything goes pear-shaped for even as much as a quarter and for good reason. They know they’ll get a bailout so why bother.

    • Suthenboy

      What is going on here is not unprecedented at all. I have lived through a dozen of these. This is just the first one, and not the worst, where the power grabbers are shutting down the country to destroy the economy and destroy the civil society. It is what they have wanted to do alll along but this is the first time, TDS induced, where they have been insane enough to do it.

    • westernsloper

      They know they’ll get a bailout so why bother.

      As do most industries. Good to know now that cruise lines are “too big to fail.” I have to be honest, never saw that one coming. I expect Mickey Mouse will get a bail out too.

      • Suthenboy

        I don’t think the canard is ‘too big to fail’ anymore, it’s just down to fairness.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        the old Cunard Canard?

        / couldn’t resist

      • dorvinion

        Are there any American cruise lines?

        AFAIK there are none. Or at least not any that operate ocean going vessels.

      • MikeS

        In the foggy recesses of my brain, I seem to remember a reason for that. Something about regulations making it much better to flag them in different countries…?

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Jones Act?

      • dorvinion

        Predates that actually

        Passenger Vessel Services Act of 1886

      • Jarflax

        AKA the Liberian Merchant Marine Empowerment Act

      • westernsloper

        dorvinion off the top rope with idiotic archaic legislation!!!!!

      • dorvinion

        I booked (and now subsequently cancelled) a cruise recently so I had already looked up why it was I couldn’t go from Seward to Seattle, and had to instead stop at Vancouver BC.

      • westernsloper

        I remember it from the gloating Master Chief who instructed Maritime Law during MLE School back when I was a mere BM2. For the record, I never made it past BM2.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Listen all y’all, it’s a cabotage!

        *record scratches*

  36. Suthenboy

    Leon: I will definitely be sharing with some people and probably stealing some of it as well.

    Spot on and no doubt reflects the view of many here, including myself.

    • leon

      Thanks Suthen, that means a lot. Just nice to have a place where i can yell at clouds and have others understand me.

    • Gender Traitor

      Oh, swell. Watch DeWine say, “Hold my beer…”

      • Jarflax

        I’m hearing rumors tomorrow at 6 pm we go lock down. They are all unsourced “My Cop friend” or “My Cousin in the Guard” so I am not giving them much credence but if Cali did it, Dewine won’t like being upstaged.

      • Tres Cool

        Nah. DeWine is a power-mad d-bag, but he isnt gonna……oh, who am I kidding?

      • AlmightyJB

        Why do you think he just deployed the National Guard?

      • Tres Cool

        I’m running low on beer. So dont make me go all ZombieLand on my Kroger tomorrow.

        I think JB had the right idea- what does it take to start a recall for the governor by petition ?

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, shit.

        In Ohio, there is no right of statewide recall, either of federal or state government officials, and no ability to recall members of the Ohio State Legislature.

      • AlmightyJB

        Quicker anyways.

      • Tres Cool

        Feature, not bug.
        I’m sure the planners had that in mind.

      • Jarflax

        Impeachment is an option:

        The governor, judges, and all state officers, may be impeached for any misdemeanor in office; but judgment shall not extend further than removal from office, and disqualification to hold any office under the authority of this state. The party impeached, whether convicted or not, shall be liable to indictment, trial, and judgment, according to law.

      • Tres Cool

        But can you begin a popular petition to impeach?

      • Jarflax

        and removal per statute:

        II.38 Removal of officials
        Laws shall be passed providing for the prompt removal from office, upon complaint and hearing, of all officers, including state officers, judges and members of the general assembly, for any misconduct involving moral turpitude or for other cause provided by law; and this method of removal shall be in addition to impeachment or other method of removal authorized by the constitution.

        But I am not researching what Statutes apply.

      • Jarflax

        101.47 Deposition on complaint.
        A complaint praying for an investigation of the official conduct of an officer liable to impeachment may be presented to the house of representatives. The person preferring such complaint may take depositions of witnesses to substantiate the complaint, and use such depositions as testimony before the house, in determining whether it will impeach such officer. Such depositions may be taken before a person authorized by law to take depositions.

        Notice of the time and place of taxing such depositions shall be given in the manner required by sections 2319.15 to 2319.17 of the Revised Code; but if the officer against whom the complaint is made or is about to be made is out of the state, notice may be left at his place of residence in the state. If he has no known place of residence in the state, such notice may be published in a newspaper published in the county of the state where he last resided, for three consecutive weeks next preceding the time of taking of the depositions.

        If an impeachment is preferred to the senate, and the officer impeached is convicted, the person who has caused depositions to be taken shall be allowed the legal fees accruing thereon.

      • Tres Cool

        So proving ‘misconduct’ or a misdemeanor could be troublesome

      • AlmightyJB

        I think if all the businesses he shut done don’t start opening in a few weeks, the support for that will start gaining.

    • Rhywun

      Coming to a state near you.

    • DEG

      Fuck.

    • straffinrun

      All residents are to stay inside except for essential activities like shitting.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        So, are the Japanese losing their shit? How’s it being handled over there?

      • straffinrun

        WFH if you can. Otherwise, just masks. It’s wild because I’m not seeing anything too far outside the norm.

      • straffinrun

        That being said, they are long overdue for their ritual slaughtering of furriners.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Is that an annual thing like when they brain all those dolphins or do they just do that from time to time?

      • straffinrun

        About every 70 years or so. Sometimes a few centuries. *See Edo

      • Tejicano

        It’s so close to normal here that when I read what’s happening in the US it feels like we’re in parallel universes.

        Japan is reporting fewer than a thousand infected – but that could be because of a lower number being tested.

    • leon

      What is up with the URL? it doesn’t reflect the article at all…

      • Tundra

        No clue. It seems to change every time I click on it.

    • Mad Scientist

      Good luck with this. No way am I staying inside because some douchebag politician decrees it.

      • Tundra

        Finally.

        The right answer.

        I’ll be in LA as soon as your shithead governor ‘allows’ it.

        I’m buying.

      • Mad Scientist

        I’m up for that! And I’m getting the second round. We have a small contingent of other reprobates in the area as well. They can pick up the third and fourth and …

  37. Tundra
    • Tres Cool

      Neither.
      They stole their moves from Janet Jackson, tho

      (to be fair she stole hers from Michael)

    • AlmightyJB

      Are they packing?

    • CPRM

      You can’t fool me, those are lady-boys.

  38. Tres Cool

    218 dead in a country of 330M or so?

    Isnt that just a long weekend in Chicago ?

    • AlmightyJB

      Oh, who cares about that

  39. CPRM

    Today, without any kind of fever or anything, had some breathing issues like I was having an acute allergic reaction like when I’m some place real dusty, all better now. Was it Covid-19 or vaping what done it? Those are the only two plausible answers according to the media.

    • UnCivilServant

      You could just have an allergy.

      • Naptown Bill

        I have seasonal allergies that result in persistent cough. Do you know how awkward I’ve felt being in the drug store picking up milk while hacking up a lung? I’m surprised I didn’t have to fight my way to the car.

      • Tundra

        I have the same and I don’t give a fuck.

        Try it!

      • Naptown Bill

        I hold up a package of Zyrtec like it’s a hall pass.

      • MikeS

        #metoo

      • Tres Cool

        Why do you buy milk in a drug store ?

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Cuz they sell both drugs and milk, I’d guess.

        “You can buy anything at a drug store nowadays.” 😉

    • MikeS

      Fart sniffing?

    • AlmightyJB

      You definitely have Zombie AIDS.

  40. straffinrun

    Could someone explain what “flatten the curve” means. And “Herd immunity”? I don’t understand.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Flatten the curve means getting rid of Q’s girls and replacing them with less voluptuous eye candy.

      Herd immunity is those guys in Spain diving out of the way before the bull gore’s them.

    • UnCivilServant

      Flatten the curve is a strategy where the peak number of cases is lowered by causing it to be spread over a longer time but with fewer acute cases at any given point in time to avoid overloading medical capacity.

      herd immunity is getting enough people with individual immunity so that the disease has trouble spreading and reaching new infectable hosts.

      • straffinrun

        Still a bit confused.

      • UnCivilServant

        The idea is that, If you slow it enough, you can avoid a collapse of the medical system and reduce fatalities.

      • straffinrun

        I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable right now. How the hell do I get out of this?

      • Naptown Bill

        Apply bourbon internally; repeat as needed.

      • CPRM

        I thought flattening the curve was about bypassing the apex of the corner to avoid creating outward momentum.

      • Mad Scientist

        Steer inside the apex and let the car wash out.

    • Tres Cool

      You know how when you make a ‘flat-iron’ steak, where you put a weight on it? That came from a herd, and you just flattened part of it that wasnt immune to a bolt to the brain.

    • one true athena

      Flatten the curve: Too many people get it too quickly, rush Emergency and ICU, not enough ventilators == DEATHHHHHHH. So you slow rate of infection so hospitals can handle the influx.

      Herd immunity – take advantage of younger, healthy people generally not being killed by it, let them get infected, get over it ,become immune, and then, like with vaccines, they can’t spread it to the at-risk people.

      • one true athena

        Damn it, I did that quickly and I was still too slow!

      • straffinrun

        Thanks. Just remember, straffinrun is asshooole.

      • one true athena

        You– you CHINA!

      • straffinrun

        Et tu, JB?

      • AlmightyJB

        I’m assuming then that they’re explaining it over and over on TV and you were being facetious? I don’t watch TV so I would not know this.

      • straffinrun

        I’ve been on the Virusplaining end of too many conversations the last few days. I was vent snarking.

    • westernsloper

      Flatten the curve is when you decide to go Keto to lessen the curve of your gut but Herd into join when there are both doughnuts and breakfast burritos brought to work on the day you get sent home. Maybe something else, but that sums up my day. #worthit

    • MikeS

      No, no, no. It’s:

      Straightenin’ the curves
      Flattenin’ the hills

      • CPRM

        Exactly where I was going with my comment. But again.

      • MikeS

        That was actually much better than I thought it would be.

      • CPRM

        I have strict quality control over all my links. I have a brand to protect.

  41. Naptown Bill

    Makes a hell of a lot of sense to me and pretty well reflects my concerns as well. I’m not taking the infection aspect lightly as I’ve got a baby and elderly relatives, but I’m more concerned about the economic fallout and the potential ramifications with regard to liberty. Also, to the extent that political culture in this country was at all healthy, what I’ve been seeing since this began looks like the death knell. Maybe that’s not entirely a bad thing if people see in bold relief the crass, cynical manipulation the political class practices during times like this.

    Also, though, I think there are potentially some bright spots. If this makes remote work a norm where it’s practicable, I think that has positive economic effects and by extension positive political effects. If the aftermath of this finds more companies hiring full remote positions, maybe that moves population away from the cities and into the rest of the country, with service industries, money, and political clout following. Maybe this is the thing that breaks up the power of the big cities over popular culture and politics. I’m a wishful thinker in that regard, but I live in hope.

  42. MikeS

    I delved straight into the silliness after reading and forgot to give some kudos. I did read and enjoy it, leon. While I agree with everything you wrote, I do get a bit concerned with many people’s apparent lack of concern for people who may be in the high risk category. I understand when it’s said here it’s usually done tongue in cheek, but I fear that many normies don’t get it. I believe that is the most important message to repeat; just because you are likely to have few symptoms, doesn’t mean others you come in to contact with will be so lucky. Just think of others as you are out and about.

    • Naptown Bill

      My wife and I talk about this all day since we’ve got nothing else to do, and the point I keep coming back to is that it’s silly to make fun of people for taking this seriously because “it’s just like the flu”. The flu is serious. You should take it seriously. If it’s “just the flu”, that doesn’t mean it isn’t something to be concerned about. The flu kills at-risk people regularly. Don’t panic, but if you’re not taking reasonable precautions because you don’t care about the flu, you’ve been too casual about the flu.

      • MikeS

        This would be a great place for me to jump up and admit that until now, I’ve not given the “normal” flu the respect it deserves. I suppose it’s part of approaching 50 and admitting to myself (finally) my own mortality. It’s also very much just recently admitting to myself that my parents are “seniors” and have been for some time.

        Too many people are too selfish. No, I don’t want a law to change it, but damn if it wouldn’t be nice if something would change it.

      • Tres Cool

        I think its over-reacting from the gov’t, but initiating my own prudence, Ive not seen Tres Sr; only spoken on the phone

      • MikeS

        Same here. Only e-comm with the folks, and they are under strict “orders” to allow me to do any shopping they need done. And if I do, I’ll probably drop it on the door step like the Domino’s guy.

      • CPRM

        Knowing all the references you old fucks make makes feel older. Fuck you!

      • MikeS

        Bah! You’re still a young man!

      • MikeS

        Hey, everyone has needs.

      • CPRM

        I first heard of Marvelous 3 because they opened for Collective Soul.

      • MikeS

        That voice sounds familiar…

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        He is young. That’s why that cough was probably Pertussis.

    • Jarflax

      My position is that decency does require minimizing interactions, washing hands, etc. because the disease is serious for certain populations and currently spreads easily due to it’s recent emergence. But there is a world of difference between taking precautions and central planners enforcing draconian measures, and I am inerently skeptical of the experts. Not because I am anti-science, but because I don’t think they are doing science. I think they are doing manipulation.

      • Jarflax

        inherently not inerantly I am not that arrogant.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, and even the ones I trust to do their jobs, I think are very focused on saving a life at any cost and aren’t looking very hard at the cost of that. Not just monetary, but poorer health outcomes in a much poorer economy after it’s been cratered, along with the unknown chaos of a worldwide depression.

    • straffinrun

      We had a choice: Isolate the vulnerable and go on with basic protections or Isolate everybody. You could’ve made a case for “flattening the curve” (sorry, guys I know what it is) before, but seeing the consequences now it would be hard to say that was the best choice. The problem is that no matter how bad it gets, the state will never admit it made a mistake. I wish we had a media that would ask: “At what cost would you admit that the policy you chose wasn’t worth the price?” They wouldn’t answer that, but at least it would be the right question.

      • CPRM

        I wish we had a media that would ask: “At what cost would you admit that the policy you chose wasn’t worth the price?”

        Wait, is Abe an Orange Man?!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Not flattening the curve might look like a giant version of Italy of worse. I’m not sure there are any good choices right now but government mandates aren’t the way to do things.

      • straffinrun

        Which would’ve been cheaper? Go all out to isolate the elderly and compromised or shutting everything down? How many deaths will occur from knock on effects of what they are doing now? Not an easy question, so I guess I’ll walk back my comment a little. The bigger point is that lack of economic understanding by the public is allowing the government to do stuff that is doing severe damage.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, and lack of cost benefit analysis. There are real costs in every chosen path.

    • MikeS

      I want to clarify that I am in no way advocating for the authoritarian measures being seen around the country, including in bright red (but very statist) NoDak today (bars and restaurants close at noon tomorrow).

    • leon

      Thanks Mike! I hope I didn’t come off as callous. I don’t want to endanger at risk people, but to me that means a lot of work on their part to avoid public places during high risk seasons. But I also think that there’s a lot that can be done privately and within the community without state direction, that should be done. People should be considerate of others. I hate when people drag their sicknesses to church.

      • MikeS

        Oh, no. My little diatribe wasn’t at all pointed at you, but was borne of a frustration that’s been building over the last few days. It just seemed like a good time to get it out. ? Thanks for your timely post!

  43. hayeksplosives

    All Californians need to stay at home and avoid nonessential social contact to slow the spread of the deadly coronavirus pandemic, Gov. Gavin Newsom ordered Thursday.

    Newsom said he hopes not to have to enforce the order, instead encouraging Californians to influence each other to do the right thing.

    Read more here: https://www.sacbee.com/news/coronavirus/article241358846.html#storylink=cpy

    Nice thinly veiled threat there, Governor.

    Good thing the mr restocked his herbal needs today.

    • MikeS

      That’s some nice nonessential social contact you have there. It’d be a shame if something were to happen to it.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Did i mention your Avatar makes me cry?
      /Wendy, no kidding

  44. Heroic Mulatto

    So, you can thank the “Greatest” Generation and the Boomers for all these Cold War-era “Continuity of Government” executive orders that give this tyranny a patina of legality. If you haven’t already, look into what they actually say and plan on doing when the shit really hits the fan.

    • Tundra

      I don’t thank any of those fuckers.

      If you would be so kind, please save me some time and post some links,

      I’m getting really pissed.

    • Jarflax

      Oh those measures are just for shutting down the roving packs of cannibalistic mutants after a full nuclear exchange so we can save the 2% of the population that survived! They are just the equivalent of life boat rules, and would never be applied unless the world had basically ended.

    • leon

      ” “Continuity of Government” executive orders that give this tyranny a patina of legality. “”

      I’ve said it before. The Nazis may have lost WW2 but the Fascists won.

  45. UnCivilServant

    Corned beef just came out of the pressure cooker.

    I’m already in danger of eating too much.

    • Gender Traitor

      With Swiss cheese on it?? ::furtively wipes drool from corner of mouth::

      • UnCivilServant

        Why did I buy the tiny corned beef? It wasn’t even two pounds. I could have gotten a real one.

  46. Yusef drives a Kia

    1200 a month UBI, for the next months,
    Loan guarantees for small business,
    Free Shit for all!
    I’m in,

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      I wouldn’t turn it down.

  47. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Y’all know what we need now? You guessed correctly, fear stories about chloroquine:

    https://youtu.be/8Uwddck8uCQ

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I guessed it before I clicked on the link. And people should be careful, if you don’t know the dosage and give a small child too much it can kill him or her before you can get them to an ER.

  48. mikey

    Glib parents stuck at home with bored kids?
    Some garage/backyard projects for some family bonding. Explosions and high-speed projectiles for some not so safe family fun.

    https://www.amazing1.com/fire.html

  49. CPRM

    I’m all set for if I need to quarantine for two weeks, except alcohol; I’d be accused of hoarding if I bought just enough. No one take the DTs serious anymore.

    • MikeS

      After doing some mild panic buying a few days ago, I did some insurance buying today. I should be good for a while as long as no ‘sconies stop by “for a couple”.

      • CPRM

        Seriously, if I had purchase 2 weeks of beer at once, it would look worse than those fuckers hoarding TP.

  50. Yusef drives a Kia

    The thing about Cannibalism here is, all the old People are really skinny, or so fat they are only good for rendering,
    /Tallow Candles anyone…..

  51. DenverJ

    Great piece, Leon.

    • leon

      Thanks Denver!

  52. R C Dean

    I disagree with . . .nothing.

    Bang on, leon.

    • leon

      Thanks! Got to work on my “escape the country plan” now.

  53. westernsloper

    I have been self medicating with tequila and lime so I am going to drop my theory on this thing. Get your tinfoil ready. I think this has been in the states since at least Dec but nobody knew and assumed it flu. I think there have been thousands of deaths from this and attributed to flu and they will never develop a test to find out if you were exposed. I think most people were exposed and some succumbed and most did not just like all viruses. I have heard too many anecdotal stories about the “bug” in Dec/Jan that knocked people on their asses and did not give a positive test for flu or anything else. Those people had the Tom Wuhan Hanks Bat Soup Disease and did not know it because nobody had heard of it thanks to the commi fuck chinese. I also think the only reason state governments are flying off the handle for this minor blip in the health of the population spectrum is because of who inhabits the la casa blanca. I think those asshats advisories will send the nation into a depression so they can then blame it on El Jeffe. And they have a good start. I think this is all politics, deep state, and fucking china. Tomorrow I might be able to work in Russia. Wait, I filled up @ $2.06…….fucking Russians too!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      My Daughters Company went through a Flu thing late last year, as in Maybe CCP Virus already blew through the US

    • CPRM

      Cancer cases rise as we find new ways to detect cancer!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        and who thought smoking might cause Lung Cancer?
        Duh

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      My mom had an unusually long cold* a couple of weeks ago…

      *or was it…? I’ve been wondering for a week or more

    • Rhywun

      Possible, except for the fact that the freakout is worldwide. And who among us has the knowledge to compare, say, what’s going on in Italy today to an average flu season there.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Posted this last night regarding that theory:

      While there isn’t an serology test for sars-cov-2, there is still analysis available including modeling of mutations based on it and other coronaviruses. Based on that, the origin/crossover to humans was earliest in mid November.

      https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.03.05.976167v1.full.pdf (this is a preprint so YMMV)

      It has a higher R0 than flu but not like measles so it still takes time to spread. Also, can take samples of current strains and use phylogenetic analysis to show the relationship between them. Not saying it isn’t possible particularly for onesie/twosie, but if it had been widespread before, it should show up now in samples and show more divergence from known origins.

      https://nextstrain.org/ncov

      • westernsloper

        Does not all that revolve around when they new it originated and was a problem? Is that data accurate?

      • westernsloper

        Add a k in there where needed.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It correlates with the believed origin, but the mutation analysis is independent of it as I read it. Not a double blind study, so does it influence the methodology? I dunno enough of the assumptions behind it. Is it accurate? Again, appears to be and there similar papers if I remember.

        The mapping in the second link possibly suffers a bit more from confirmation bias if I had to guess. But if it was spreading earlier and that widespread, it should be showing up now with more available testing of current infections.

      • westernsloper

        Not saying it isn’t possible particularly for onesie/twosie, but if it had been widespread before, it should show up now in samples and show more divergence from known origins.

        What samples? The fuck wit Polis did not believe we did not have cases here in bum fuck so he dispatched to National Guard to do “sampling”. There are no samples, the local yokels had no test kits. Why is this so different than every other “pandemic” when we didn’t get concerned until at least 10,000 or so people died? 20,000 or so people die in the states every winter from flu and nobody blinks. This has me honestly wondering wtf is going on.

        Also, onsies/twosies……you ever been on a flight packed with richish people going on a ski vacation? Those people just came from anywhere in the world they wanted to before they decided to go skiing. That goes way past onsies twosies. The world in a virus sense, travels through some very small towns.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There hasn’t been enough testing for containment, but there still has been quite a few tests, both positive and negative. If there were strains circulating for that long and widely, they would be showing up more frequently than the younger strains that are being detected.

        Aside from super spreaders & extended contact, the basic reproduction number (R0) is estimated to be 2 to 2.5, which is the number of other people infected from each infected person on average. It spreads, it’s contagious, but it not like any contact and you’ve got it. It’s not spreading fast enough that it could have been widely circulating in the US back in January or December.

    • Mojeaux

      This will not get blamed on Trump, generally speaking. He starts handing out cash + a Joe Biden/Whoever ticket (pleasemakeitberniepleasemakeitbernie) and we have another 4 years of Trump.

      I was saying landslide. I’mma stick with that.

      • CPRM

        Are you advocating the ill-fated stimulus they announced?

      • Mojeaux

        That was prognostication, not advocacy.

        But if he’s handing money out, I’mma take it. My mattress needs fed.

      • CPRM

        I don’t need anymore reason to feel shame, I’m already Catholic.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m lost. What does shame have to do with cashing a check that landed in your mail box?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        What does shame have to do with getting back the money they coercively took from you/us? It was your money in the first place. You know better how to spend it.

    • Playa Manhattan

      I had the worst “flu” of my life in December. Knocked me on my ass for 5 whole days. Couldn’t even get out of bed one day. No vomiting, no diarrhea. Just pain and fatigue.

      • westernsloper

        *washes hands after reading that

      • whahappan

        Kung flu doesn’t seem to hit the young and healthy that hard, so I doubt it was Wuhan. Probably just garden variety flu. My boss’s son was also hit with a nasty flu in December iirc, and he said the same thing, it lasted about a week, with 5 really bad days. /not a Dr.

  54. Yusef drives a Kia

    Dreams last for, so long,
    Even after your gone,
    I know, you love me, and soon you will see,
    You were meant for me,
    and I was meant for you,

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Oh, Yusef. ? (apparently that means “hug”)

      Are there any bereavement support groups near you?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m not looking, but boy there are some good looking Gals at the park, Shave every day, and look sharp!
        Seriously, my Heart is broken, She was my life and now I’m adrift, but I need to be careful to not get into any wierd relationships, so none right now.

      • Tejicano

        Yup. Don’t get into anything long term. Hook up for a quick one if that happens and it works for you. I’ve never seen a rebound relationship work out well.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        and Again, thanks for looking out for me, much Love!

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Don’t mean to kibbitz; just thought you could stand to be around other widowers.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Honestly, yuck, I wan,,, need to get past this and go on, and unless they are Randy, i don’t need Women, at All,
        A nice little hottie would be nice,

  55. straffinrun

    Off to do some cherry blossom viewing with the family. Sorry you guys are going through this stuff. I feel like Tejicano and I may be whistling past the graveyard. Who knows? Take care and thanks for the piece, Leon.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Enjoy! I’m Golfing tomorrow…………Ace!

      • straffinrun

        Fore! I’ll post some pics when I get there. Just starting to bloom.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        My Dad was there as a young Marine, he told me it was Beautiful, please post pics!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ditto!

  56. Gender Traitor

    I forgot to mention this last night during the “prepper” discussion: amongst our supplies are almost two full cases of Thin Mints in our basement freezer.

    We will rule the post-apocalyptic world.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’ll trade for Diorama supplies!

    • CPRM

      I visited my elderly aunt today (AGAINST GOV RECOMMENDATIONS!) and took in her local paper, which sucks, but they had one fun story (well, I just read the headline) about a Girl Scout troop giving away TP if you bought a certain number of cookie boxes.

      • Gender Traitor

        Brilliant!

      • CPRM

        Is it sad that I heard that in my own voice doing the Hat voice?

    • Rhywun

      Seriously.

      I don’t have anything valuable enough to trade for that.

      • CPRM

        Well, did you ever lose your straight virginity? That could be of some value. Geeze, quite being so heterophobic!

      • Rhywun

        I… hadn’t thought of that for some reason.

    • one true athena

      I have… one box of Samoas in my freezer. Sad.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      If you run out, I hear that Trader Joe’s Mint Chocolate Coins are essentially the same thing.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        “Chocolate coins”….Hey! Be careful if they’re foil-wrapped!

        /just sayin…

  57. hayeksplosives

    I’m just wrapping my brain around the fact that the governmentrnor has essentially banned people from gathering in a house of worship during Easter season.

    • CPRM

      Jesus wanted socialism, so tis the true miracle.

    • Mad Scientist

      They’ve been paid off by the televangelists!

      • CPRM

        Jesus was a black trans man, and also God doesn’t exist and the means of production should be controlled by the workers, but don’t you dare call us commies, we’re sociali….progressi…Social Democrats, like Scandinavia!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Sunrise Service, out doors, do you even California?
      C’mon Girl!

    • Tundra

      WWJD?

      Fuck that shit,

      Gather, worship and be awesome.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      I never came across a GN recall petition (AB5, yes); I would have signed it. Apparently the effort came up 1.2m votes short.

      • one true athena

        People should vote out all the fuckheads in Sacramento for that bill. Of course they won’t.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        They might until the trunk / absentee ballots are counted.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        We voted against Prop 13, it seems!

  58. Yusef drives a Kia

    Fucking rain again, in the Desert, again, in the desert, Fuck….

    • Chafed

      Motherfucker. There ought to be a law….

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Much like Snipes’ tax bullshit, I find it hard to care, other than him being Royalty/in a position to try to overturn “fairness” rules.

      Of course, Chip Ahoy, Chip Ahoy

  59. straffinrun

    The cherry blossoms are pretty lame still. Whatever tree this is, it’s blooming nicely. The birdy promptly took a dump on our tarp.

    https://m.imgur.com/a/p5oqVXa

    • CPRM

      Everything here is still covered in snow, what is your ancient Chinese chinese secret?

      • straffinrun

        You’re soaking in it.

      • Rhywun

        Eeeeew!

        /teenage Madge

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      At least the bird has a nice tarp to shit on… In my day, we only had corn husks, and, the occasional burlap sack!

      • straffinrun

        Rough. We throw some toilet paper rolls at it to shoo it away.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Finally–a use for that junk!

    • CPRM

      He was racist when he tried to stop travel from china, now he hates kids because things, fuck sake. Can we have just one thing in Current Year that isn’t the fault of Orange Man?!

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      Everybody must accept their own responsibility, vulnerability and complicity — sacrificing “rights” for the collective good — or many of us will die.

      Well, Prof–if you’re included in the “many”, I’m not seeing a downside to the current way.

      Fuck him with a Wuhan dick.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Tony Perman, an associate professor of music at Grinnell College

        Truly, the leadership we should be looking up to.

    • straffinrun

      “ In China, the obligation to isolate felt shared and the public changed their habits almost immediately.”

      Or else.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        That little candy-ass is very big on ‘feels’. And, of course, what we need right now, is a bunch of emotional reactions to this.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I can’t wait to basically confined to my apartment where only one household member can go out per day. Where I have to get my temperature checked at my apartment building, down the street barricade, at the store entrance, and back. Also scanning my WeChat multiple times too.

    • CPRM

      Fucking copsucker!

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        If we’ve had anything even approaching that level of bullshit happen here, I’ve not heard of it (not really saying much, tbh).

        Why people gotta be such dildoes??

    • straffinrun

      She’s not infected, right? Social distancing is one thing, but self isolate? Or are we using those interchangeably?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Yes. Well, it seems so.

        But, damn–it’s good to see a “celebrity” take this stance. I give her serious credit for this, and hope she doesn’t get Corona-listed.

    • CPRM

      Be careful with the Blaze, too much Glenn Beck will rot your brain; I know from experience dude.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Oh, trust me–I see the whining and various other “opinion” shit there daily. I usually glide right over it. That said, I do often get stories that I haven’t heard from other places, and follow linkage and what not.

        IOW–duly noted.

      • straffinrun

        Beck is better than most.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        To be clear, I don’t listen to, or, watch him. I go through the Blaze for the articles (not too worried about their centerfolds. yet.), and they have as much opinion in them as MSM sites. But, I get the warning.

      • CPRM

        He was. He was on CNN HNN when Bush was in office, then he was on Fox when Obama won, he called them both out. then he went nuts and super Mormon (not to say Moj’s religion is wrong, but man he started pushing that angle hard) and conspiracy nut.

      • straffinrun

        He loved The Monster From Jekyl Island and had the author on a few times. That’s why I can’t hate the guy.

  60. straffinrun

    Difference between an introvert and an extrovert?

    2 months.

    • CPRM

      I’d say not being annoying to me and being annoying to me, but you wuhan you.

  61. straffinrun

    First they offer up a gay candidate named “Buttigeig” and the toss out a pandemic from “Wuhan”. Is this some kind of shitlord test?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Needs HM’s smirking gif here.

  62. Gustave Lytton

    https://youtu.be/ZDLNp4IjXC8

    How many dumb firearms handling and other questionable choices can you see in this video?

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      questionable choices

      becoming a Chicago cop, for one.

  63. Not Another Naked Digby

    Hmmm…..After seeing the input on the last posts from the past couple of nights, I’m beginning to wonder if I have enough Kung Flu articles in my Night Shift post for Saturday. Might end up being extra boring.

    /You can’t spell ‘Saturday’ without ‘turd’

  64. Sean

    PANIC HARDER YOU STUPID FUCKING RUBES!

    *sigh*

    I’m going in for an early morning passing out of checks and wishing everyone well in the apocalypse.

    I’m strongly considering slinging my AR pistol on my back for full effect.

  65. Not Another Naked Digby

    an early morning passing out

    Hey; that’s the spirit!

    of checks

    oh….
    Oh!

    • Sean

      I submitted a very early morning request for a bj this morning and it was postponed until later. ?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        So….Morning Wouldn’t?

      • Festus

        Sean’s in mourning.

  66. Chipping Pioneer

    Gavin Newsome to Tom Wolf:

    “Hold my beer white wine spritzer.

  67. UnCivilServant

    I’m trying to figure out what it is about telecommuting that causes me more stress than going into the office. In theory, without the hassles of a commute, it should be less.

    • UnCivilServant

      Maybe it’s the feeling of not being able to get away from work. Or it’s the heightened scrutiny of day to day activities that the state’s telecommuting policies push management towards. I don’t like people looking over my shoulder, and even higher detail reports feels like someone looming just behind me going “there’s no way you’re going to have enough written down to convince them you were working.”

      • Nephilium

        Usually, when I’m going into the office 2 days a week, I would log into all the work stuff earlier then my office hours as a way to show a benefit. With all this shit going on, I can’t keep that up, because I can’t log out when I normally do. I was getting texts and calls until 21:30 last night. So fuck it, you get me for the hours I’m “scheduled” and that’s it.

        And this weekend, I’ll not be looking at work shit at all (at least that’s the plan).

        With CA ordering a one month lockdown, I’m worried that Ohio isn’t far behind.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m worried that Ohio isn’t far behind.

        Right there with ya.

    • Gender Traitor

      Maybe without the commute, you lose that “buffer” period of time when you’re “getting your mind right” about facing the work day. My commute’s about half an hour, and it’s about half surface streets/half interstate. I listen to radio news for the traffic report until I hit the highway, then I just want silence for the rest of the way.

      • UnCivilServant

        It is an important time to switch mindsets.

        And it becomes too easy to run past the end of the workday. I don’t get overtime, and the state isn’t flexible about days shorter than contracted, so I’m not about to give them any unpaid time.

      • Gender Traitor

        Are you “Exempt” because “something something professional”? Or did you just lose O/T because you just became a supervisor?

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve been exempt since I became a grade 23 under the “professional” classification.

        In a dick move, they backdated my promotion to just before I spent 12.5 hours on a sunday upgrading the main database server, so I wouldn’t get that overtime.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Because FYTW.

        Clearly you are more patient than I. That probably would have triggered my resignation letter.

      • UnCivilServant

        Cost/benefit analysis said it wasn’t worth rage quitting.

      • Gender Traitor

        Dick move indeed.

      • UnCivilServant

        Difference between the increased pay rate and the potential overtime for that pay period left me out something like $60. The change in title was something like an $11k increase in base salary. It was that deliberate timing that really sent the message though.

      • Ted S.

        And if a private sector employer had done it, Cuomo & Co. would be having a shit-fit.

  68. Gender Traitor

    Word came down right before close of business yesterday that our financial institution’s branches are going drive-thru/ATM/by appointment only, and one branch is being closed completely. Bracing myself for my phone to blow up with staff whining, “What do we dooooooooo?” We’re working with our payroll processor to give everyone “Emergency PTO,” but it hasn’t been rolled out yet….so folks are going to panic even though this is only the first week of the biweekly pay period.

    • UnCivilServant

      I can understand their concerns. If someone else’s panic was threatening to burn up all my vacation time, I’d want to have answers too – before it became too late to do anything.

      • Gender Traitor

        Fortunately, people know the emergency hours are coming (and how much they’re getting,) but it hasn’t yet shown up in the timekeeping system. With any luck, maybe it’ll show up on today’s pay stubs and that will reassure them.

      • UnCivilServant

        I hope so, for your sake.

      • UnCivilServant

        (as in your phone won’t blow up and make your day more miserable.)

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! My other concern is monitoring my boss’s anxiety level. He’s a good guy, but he’s wound pretty tight, so I try to adopt my “Serene Oasis of Calm in the Storm” persona.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Serenity now!!

      • Nephilium

        /raises hand

        So, I’ve already had to cancel 9 days of vacation this year. And with the way things are looking, my time off to go to Europe is in danger. Because of my company’s decision to change PTO this year (announced in December), I’ve got some 34 days of PTO (vacation/sick days) that I need to take before the end of the year, or I lose them (5 days of sick time will roll over at the max).

      • UnCivilServant

        So, you’re going to just vanish for a month?

      • Nephilium

        Almost 7 weeks of PTO will need to be used. I’m a relatively new hire in the company (just hit three years), some people had full PTO banks, and will need to burn through that this year or lose it. This policy was already unpopular because there’s a large number of non-American citizens working for the company. They would bank PTO until they had saved up a month or so, then go home to see their friends and family. The new policy prevents that.

      • Gender Traitor

        They picked a hell of a year to change that policy.

    • Ted S.

      My credit union did that yesterday. Had to deposit a check via ATM for the first time in ages, and didn’t realize they don’t use envelopes any more.

      The payroll processor is borking the access for electronic pay stubs, since I finally signed up for direct deposit. (I didn’t want a voided check out of my possession if I could avoid it.)

  69. Festus

    Saw a disturbing sight on the way home this morning. A coyote that must have got side-swiped was sitting at the side of the on-ramp, snarling at traffic and biting at his apparently crippled hind-quarters. Same one that I saw two nights ago feasting on some deer road kill just a few hundred yards up the street. I know it’s him because he’s super light colored and I’ve taken to calling him “The Ghost”. I was unnaturally upset by this. I’m a big softie when it comes to critters and I know circle of life, yada yada but it hit me like a punch in the guts… I think we’re all on edge and this whole pandemic thing is a tinderbox. Who the fuck mists up over a coyote? This Guy, in current week…

    • Gender Traitor

      Poor critter! You hate to see any animal suffer like that. It would have been better if the car had killed it outright. Any animal/wildlife control in your area? Maybe they could at least put it out of its misery.

      • Festus

        I was travelling at 50 mph to get the lane and no way am I calling the cops unless someone is getting murdered. The next passing chip truck would probably end his suffering. It just hit me so hard, though. I’ve noticed that I’ve had an aching jaw for the last few days from grinding my dentures which is probably why I have them in the first place. Festus is stressed.