STOCKHOLM – Thunberg spoke about the possible deal at a press conference. “These past few weeks have been very hard for me and my family. Especially my sister, who was bitten by a moose. Mind you, moose bites can be very nasty”, said Thunberg. “It is a strange request, but I am willing to make a deal, especially if I can get a pony also”, she added. Biden was quick to react, saying that “if you’re paddling uphill and lose a wheel, how many pancakes can fit in a dog house? None! Because ice cream hasn’t got any bones.” Sources close to Biden have noted that he has been eating lots of meatballs and candy fish to prepare for the momentous day. Elsewhere in Scandinavia, Greenland’s parliament voted to change the country’s name to Shithole to discourage Trump from buying it. According to a statement from the country’s ministry of foreign affairs, “Greenland is not for sale at any price. We are a proud people and will accept nothing less than being rented on a competitive month-to-month basis. There will be additional charges for pets, smokers, and military bases.” Trump downplayed the affair, saying that he “was just looking for places to re-locate the CDC.” In response, Biden published a video in which he stated that “in this time of national Christmas, we must not allow white supreme pizzas like Trump to trample the Pringles of Toblerone that I and President The Rock Omaha fought so hard for, and if elected, I’ll get us out of Velveetanam”. Biden then stood up, put his hand over his heart, dropped his pants and sang “Old Gray Mare, She Ain’t What She Used To Be”.
Biden Promises to Fix Climate Change if Greta Thunberg Lets Him Sniff Her Hair
About The Author
Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
MSNBC/CNN/ETC have gone all in that the the anti-lockdown protesters are a bunch of right-wing gun nuts. Unfortunately, that isn’t satire.
Lefties supporting lockdowns with a Republican in the White House. Things have changed.
It’s not a “lockdown”. It’s a siege.
National House Arrest.
Not going to turn out how they think it will for them.
I probably came close to getting myself fired at work for outing myself as in full support of the protests. I still marvel that the same people that were shitting themselves over the Trump administration are suddenly screaming for him to grind the authoritarian bootheel in harder. And the few people that *don’t* support the lockdowns are too chickenshit to admit it, so I got direct messages in support of what I said, but the assholes claiming that only ignorant gun-toting rednecks were in favor of opening up the state won the day in public discourse. Fuck these people. If they didn’t pay me so goddamned well, I’d quit.
That was a quality line of gibberish.
I want to believe it’s real.
Where?
Authentic frontier gibberish?
Authentic frontier gibberish?
5 minutes too slow
story of my life
at least I got Morris Day and the MTFKN Time on in another tab
O-E-O-E-O
I saw it.
And yes, excellent choice.
I was fortunate enough to know Jerome Benton back then. What a great guy!
It’s amazing.
There is nothing wrong with Velveeta!
Working for Rotel, are ye?
I always unconsciously look for the Shell logo on cans of Rotel.
That was seen, what was done.
What does Japanese hi-fi have to do with cheese food?
There’s a lot wrong with Velveetanam.
Shithole country
Biden was quick to react, saying that “if you’re paddling uphill and lose a wheel, how many pancakes can fit in a dog house? None! Because ice cream hasn’t got any bones.”
That screwed up my suspension of disbelief. There’s no way Biden said anything that coherent.
I’m using that as my response to every dumb question I get at work for the next week.
https://www.wfmz.com/health/coronavirus/wolf-stay-at-home-order-extended-through-may-8-then-first-steps-toward-reopening-can/article_46c13318-8324-11ea-babf-7b4eeaabe303.html
Oh thank you massa, thank you.
Fucking douchebag. Is it bad karma to wish ass cancer on someone?
Fuck Tom Wolf.
I give it two weeks.
Can anyone recommend a good hairdresser in Georgia?
I dont know if you saw me Saturday night- I dont remember much of Saturday night. However, I was able to score an illegal, back-alley, haircut from my barber.
If you happen to fancy the GI Jane look, I got a number you can call…..
‘sup briar!
I’m thinking the GI Jane look is not a good one for me. The last thing I want to do right now is cut off the hair that’s still red.
I didn’t go to Saturday’s Zoom chat, and the Mr. just told me he’s spooked about what he’s heard re: Zoom security flaws, so unless we move to another platform, I’m afraid I’m out. : (
Would you reconsider for the natural splendor of my penis?
For some values of splendor.
My wife is in serious distress about not being able to get highlights or botox. I tell her she is more beautiful than ever but that doesn’t matter. The world we live in.
I actually found out about the reopening when my hairdresser called to see if Friday still worked for me. Our usual Chinese place just reopened for takeout as well, so it’s been a good evening. Here’s hoping everything else follows soon.
I am about a week from a man bun, 3 weeks after my last scheduled haircut, which was missed. So its been 7 weeks since a haircut.
My Chinese place stopped answering the phone six days ago. I really hope they can reopen. But I fear they cannot. Fuck Coonman.
It’s only a man bun if you put it up. Let the hair hang down.
Gave my hubby a buzz with the razor last night. Now he looks like a prison convict, but he’s happier.
It’s been more than ten weeks for me and I honestly think that if I put pictures on Quarantinder even D.U. couldn’t help but swipe to the right. I’m like the lockdown version of Jimmy Johnson who isn’t in the Pro Football Hall of Fame but is probably equally deserving of it 😉
Meanwhile, much of Europe is starting to lift their lockdowns.
We’re not worthy.
Except for Sweden. They never went on lock down.
And now they’re extinct – NOT! (just short of 15k cases so far)
Biden then stood up, put his hand over his heart, dropped his pants and sang “Old Gray Mare, She Ain’t What She Used To Be”.
Why did that make me think of this classic from MASH ?
The General was then demoted to Colonel and changed his name to Potter.
His arrival as the new MASH CO after the death of Henry Blake was the beginning of the steady decline of that show, up until the final days where it had become the original definition of “woke”.
I concur. Initially, sticking with the original screenplay, it was funny. Then they let Alda write/direct too many episodes.
See also- All in the Family when Archie gave CPR to the tranny.
All those Norman Lear shows were woke AF. I grew up with that stuff so I never noticed it then, but today… holy crap it’s distracting.
I thought wokeness was something created in 2015 and all 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s pop culture was all apolitical plothole free stuff that every single person loved /Fandom Menace
Rewatching MacGyver, I’ve found that if there’s an environmental message in the episode, I’m rooting for the guys trying to kill Angus.
Christ man environmentalist messages have been in since the 1970s at least.
Right after the Rural Purge.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rural_purge
Dang I thought hating on the rednecks was supposed to turn CBS libertarian?
Heh, right. That happened before my time. A lot of that stuff went into syndication but TBH other than Andy Griffith and Hee Haw I didn’t care for most of those shows.
Lear also started his career working for Lewis and Martin so “woke comedy writer” is far from anything new.
My dad used to rant on Norman Lear so much, but he loved Archie Bunker.
I thought they could have made him git woke more gracefully and without Meathead and Edith banging him over the head with it all the time. Not to mention he was on the right side of a couple issues (the “affirmative action” episode(s) come to mind).
But… fuck politics. He was hilarious.
He wasn’t supposed to pop up as the Everyman Hero. They may have gone heavy-handed to counteract their unintended consequences.
One of the lines seared in my head was when Meathead’s Uncle was coming to visit. He was a florist.
Archie said “so tell me there, Meathead, what does a polish florist grow, anyhow? Weeds?”
There is FANTASTIC episode wherein Archie gets stuck in an elevator with a pregnant Puerto Rican couple (Edith Diaz, Hector Elizondo), a well-heeled, tony, black man (Roscoe Lee Browne), and a panicked, hysterical woman (Eileen Brennan).
When Archie mistakenly assumes the black man lives in Harlem, he is corrected with the claim “I sir, live in Larchmont!” He replies “Yeah? Well, I’m sure Larchmont is busting its buttons over that.”
Sis?
Again, like with Alda, I think Lear (citation needed) let Rob Reiner write/direct
The earlier episodes (with the Jeffersons) were pretty good.
I suspect, like Mojeaux, this was a reaction to Archie becoming a beloved figure when Lear wanted the audience to dislike him
Sometimes I wondered if people liked Archie Bunker more than Lear expected because a lot of people have fathers/uncles (especially back then) who held and expressed similar attitudes. Even when the mainstream was starting to get more woke (to use current lingo) they still had a soft spot for their relatives.
Fun fact: The reason Alda wrote and directed so many episodes was because he needed the extra money. The show taking on his personal politics was the result not the cause.
Huh. That is interesting.
Citation needed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home-Stake_Production_Company
Alda lost of ton of money due to this. Apparently his business manager invested in this without telling him.
And notice that Rogers and Stevenson left the show and Alda began writing and directing multiple episodes just after this fraud was revealed
The Wikipedia article doesn’t say this but I found something from Time in 1974 saying that Alda lost $145,000 in the scam.
Wayne Rogers wisely punched out when Alda started taking over.
I love Wayne Rogers so much. He was more entertaining on Fox’s financial Saturday mornings than on MASH.
I remember seeing him on that show. What made him qualified as a stock picker?
/Real question
I thought I remembered hearing that he was able to manage his acting money very well and parlayed that into a second career, but that was only half right.
Oh no! I hope Columbo made out all right.
“Just one more dollar, ma’am…”
Funny story about that – he never got around to signing a contract for the show. So when it became all about Hawkeye, he just left.
Dude was a bad-ass.
Adorbs.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rice
My brain feels mushy now
Stop squeezing it.
Never.
Wait, we were talking about Charmin, right?
For you young Glibs – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUGroVDEVfQ
And to think it was fashionable for women to wear gloves in public in the 1960’s
And now we’re back to….wearing gloves in public.
Along with a TP fetish.
Can’t touch my face, can’t squeeze my brain…
Too many rules
“it’s mine and Ill wash it as fast as I want!”
It’s my body and I’ll touch it as much as I want.
Report to John Houseman, stat!
https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/201617620/Greta-Thunberg-Creepy-Joe-Biden-Sniffing-Hair
I’m disappointed at the quality of the photoshop.
Could’ve been an entire article on it’s own.
I’ve been out of the loop but has Greta done something lately?
Your Mom?
Never gets old.
I disagree.
Interesting. When do you think she was born?
^^^ +1
You guys will never end it. It’s the Herpes of running gags.
I don’t know? I find Winston’s “I thought [xxx] was supposed to make everybody libertarian” shtick so tedious that the Winston’s Mom jokes are deserved.
I presume she’s continued to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide.
HA!
Such a hypocrite… So typical.
Just like getting a wish from a genie. There’s always a catch. I’d bet Greta is bald.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gRtPFq17zk
If I hadn’t buzzed it off this weekend, I’d be ripping my hair out.
I’m trying to read some of my work from a decade ago, and the awful writing just grates on me. The characters won’t stop bickering, the dialog hurts, and the descriptions are downright lacking.
So, basically Glib comments.
YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY WHORE MOUTH!
You mean “basically TOS comments”, right ?
Sorta ot: I downloaded Scintilla Vitae recently and started reading. I’m not too familiar with the universe it’s set in, but I’m digging it so far.
It’s always heartening to hear someone entertained by my work. I’d wager that book reads very differently to someone who knows 40k versus someone who doesn’t. Hopefully there’s enough context in the book that the plot itself can be followed.
How far along are you?
Just after where he picked up his navigator, after the guild chastised him.
Ah, okay, so pretty early.
Did you once write something about lady space marines or did I dream it?
I feel your pain.
At least so far, I can pick up anything from Shadowboy on and just read it for fun. There is that consolation.
Too obvious.
When the malls reopen, will there be any stores?
Neiman Marcus is going tits up.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-neimanmarcus-bankruptcy-exclusive-idUSKBN2210CW
I don’t think anything in our house came from there. Are you sure it’s a real place?
Maybe once upon a time, but I’ve never seen one in the wild.
Pretty common anchor store in NJ.
Malls have been dying for a couple decades. Coronpanic might just kill them ded.
They were doomed before covid, though. Barely survived last year.
Needless Mark
updown?It may seem that your lives are difficult, and I will not argue with you in regards to your own experiences.
Regardless, there were four Yorkshiremen and their families who seemed to have experienced much worse.
Luxury!
Mr. Easterly, if you ever find yourself at the southernmost and westernmost part of Lake Superior, I will buy you a bottle of Chateau de Chassilier.
Good day, sirrah!
Thank you, Derpy! I got enough laughs out of it to feel like my subscription was worth the cost. 😉
Some great lines in there; you really have Sniffy Joe’s cadence down.
The only thing it was missing was a “HOW DARE YOU!”
whaddup de minimus Henry Rollins!
Lovin’ Life, Tres! And I like that moniker. It’s a bit wordy, but maybe… mini-Rollins? Or something?
Way back when, a guy who wrote for an underground newspaper at college went by the name “Big Glenn Danzig”, which always cracked me up.
Okay, I’m taller than him…slightly.
/insert tallest midget joke here
I had a 1000 sheet box of parchment paper delivered today.
Expensive response to the TP issue.
$57 plus shipping
Nice. There are sheets?? I’m near the end of a roll of it and it’s fucking useless because I can’t lay it flat.
Big, 16″x24″, packed flat, staying flat.
ULINE. sells them in regular sizes too. 2000 to a case.
Baking or writing?
Keeping glue from sticking to the floor.
Euphemism?
I had a 1000 sheet box of parchment paper delivered today.
So did the squirrels.
are they baking?
Baking? I thought we were talking Real Parchment
+1 foolscap
Not my usual commenting hours, but I figure I’d give y’all a visual aid:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRgNbis14pE
Also, if you have any headline ideas, feel free to share.
I liked this one. Red meat, but worked for me.
Recently we were debating what to call a male Karen. I propose that they are a Rolf. Remember Rolf from the “Sound of Music”? He was the telegram delivery boy who thought he became important when the National Socialists gave him a fancy uniform and a red armband. He was the shit weasel who blew the whistle tocall in the police when he discovered the hiding Von Trapp family. Rolf was the first movie Karen.
Corporal Upham?
Gaius Baltar?
Lando?
Why Upham? He was spoke German and French, found his courage, and killed the weaselly German at the end.
Patton had 30 German interpreters and only 9 of them survived the war.
Maybe Karen will find her balls in the end too.
Maybe if Lisl had screwed him, he wouldn’t have become a Nazi? Probably turned out to be some Brownshirt’s buttboy too.
Niedermeyer
“A *pledge* pin!? On your UNIFORM!?”
You are 16 going on 17…
uhm, kind of creepy dude.
behold – a rare Screaming Purple-Haired Karen!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBP1J0oqMkc
Good fucking grief. Why ain’t you home, cunte?
“a rare Screaming Purple-Haired Karen!”
BTW, you deserve a prize for that. +1 internetz?
I shall put it on my mantelpiece.
When Karens Collide!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5czTkGA5Gzs
I see Balko’s conversion to outright statist cunt is complete.
It’s always disappointing when there’s someone who is so absolutely great on one liberty issue be a fucking tool everywhere else.
Yep. Radley Balko’s pieces at TOS were, by far, the single biggest reason I shifted from the knee-jerk, reflexive cop defending I had some for most of my life and began opening my eyes to the reality of widespread police brutality, venality, and arrogance. For that, I still must thank him.
On virtually every other subject now, he’s a complete sack of shit.
Wouldn’t be the first guy who thinks the cops suck when they aren’t beating up people they don’t like
He went off the deep end a while ago. Yet another fine man broken by Trump’s horribleness.
Yep. Things went downhill with Balko as soon as Trump threw his hat in the ring.
He got married about the same time Trump was running/elected. Some times that changes people in a weird way, Jimmy Kimmel is another example.
https://local.nashvillescene.com/publication/best-of-nashville/2016/media-and-politics/best-media-power-couple
Maybe that was the cause, regardless, I was disappointed.
Heh:
As for the “pancakes in a dog house” line, that was a meme in 2009.
In other news, here’s something depressing:
https://blog.supplysideliberal.com/post/38485675949/qa-how-can-electronic-money-eliminate-inflation
***
Having the same central bank with authority to issue both e-money and currency means the exchange rate between them is fully defensible.
So a central bank with the needed legal authority can announce a track for the exchange rate between e-money and paper money.
Announcing a track for the e-money/paper money exchange rate that has paper money depreciating gives paper money a rate of return below zero
Just choose a rate of depreciation of paper money relative to e-money that makes its ROR less than Fed funds target & interest on reserves.
***
Oh dear god, stop! No, we do not need an exchange rate between paper and electronic money!
Can you imagine going to the atm, and having $100 deducted from your account while only getting $80 in cash? There are things so stupid only economists will think of them.
Fear not, antidote to follow.
As for the “pancakes in a dog house” line, that was a meme in 2009.
Relevant
Oh, hell no. They want to push us into e money everything so that they can track and eventually regulate purchases.
+1 green cash money
Word Hayek. Word.
The more they push for e currency the more I use cash when I can.
But just think – with no cash, strippers would have to wear those card reader thingies on their legs.
Hope the extension cord is long enough. Don’t want the poor girls to trip!
Bitcoin cash.
https://mises.org/library/digitizing-money-inflation-changes-nothing
The linked video from the Federal Reserve has comments and ratings disabled.
I liked this part:
***
As a medium of exchange, a small amount of high-priced money can do the same job as a large amount of low-priced money. Perhaps the best we can say is that the existence of “add a penny, take a penny” cups suggests that too much money has been created, while the chopping up of Spanish dollars into “pieces of eight” hints that too little money exists.
***
https://ktla.com/news/local-news/l-a-county-officials-to-provide-latest-update-on-coronavirus-crisis/
100s of thousands already have antibodies in LA county.
Those numbers match pretty exactly with the Santa Clara County Stanford numbers.
Which frankly isn’t great. Over 95% still susceptible is long way from any sense of herd immunity.
But when you factor in the higher infection numbers, the fatality rate and thus danger from the virus drops even further, making herd immunity less relevent.
And it’s back to the same point as where it started. The mortality rate has never really been the issue, it’s the hospitalization rate (which can indirectly affect the total mortality if resources aren’t available). At 95% are still susceptible, that’s a hell of road to go and keep it under overload numbers during that time.
This is what angers me about the “best minds” focusing on cases (i.e. positive tests) versus hospitalizations, particularly ICU.
Yep, and that’s why the current screeching by the media and the Dem governors about testing is such nonsense. There’s millions of people walking around with this right now, and they don’t even know they have it.
It was good to be cautious 3-4 weeks ago. But with the data we have now, we can be a lot more comfortable with what this is: a fairly typical upper respiratory infection that will absolutely wallop the old and the sick, but that leaves the young and healthy either completely fine or varying degrees of “chicken soup and bed rest” ill.
The screeching about how South Korea did so well because of ‘testing testing testing’ (still waiting for the 1-2-3 when someone says that, btw) is also way out of line. South Korea tested merely 02.5% of their population. The US is getting near that percentage of residents tested already, and has done millions more tests total than SK did. But to hear the average TV foof everyone in South Korea was tested on day one and they all lived happily ever after, unlike us with Orange Man Bad.
If the total infection rate is far higher, than the hospitalization rate is also far lower than previously thought. The point is far more people have been infected overall. There’s little evidence of the effectiveness of the restrictions in place.
Sorry, I should have said total hospitalizations. Yes, you’re right, the rate would go down. And yes, rates are far higher than the officials numbers. But they’re still much lower than getting to a level where unchecked spread won’t overload hospitals. Not necessarily total beds, but at choke points such as the ED or ICU beds.
I’m wary of utilitarian arguments against the restrictions because it implies to a degree that there’s a point where they would be acceptable.
Smells like bitch in here.
German town study and one of the cruise ships give evidence that 15-20% is max susceptible.
Not sure about the German town study, but do you mean the Diamond Princess as one of the cruise ships? Because while that did have a roughly 20% positive rate, there was also a semi effective quarantine imposed, a total cock up of testing, and poorly conducted follow on surveillance. I wouldn’t trust those numbers. There’s also a difference between rates of infection and susceptibility. Viral load to achieve infection is at zero understanding at this point.
Yeah….cause they had it months ago, and went to their doctors with a cough that was non-flu, and identified as ‘some virus’.
Chapter 2:
The landscapers worked from midnight as part of the social distancing guidelines. Guy and Julia would wait until their machines started buzzing until they made their break for it. “I’m scared, but I trust you, Guy” Julia admitted and thrust her paw into his through the bars. “Once we’re free, the first thing we’ll do is gorge ourselves on a bum’s vomit. I promise. No more celery or broccoli for the rest of our lives.” The main lights were out, the other rats asleep when the whirring of the machines started.
Guy licked the hinges on his cage door to swallow the creaking sound and slowly inched it open. A rat three cages down scratched itself, but the lab remained asleep. Bathed in red light cast from the lab door’s warning bulb, the room felt warm and cold at the same time. One paw out of the cage at a time, Guy made his way until his his tail was free. Julia watched with bated breath as Guy scurried to her. He made a “V” shaped gesture with his paws and thrust his tongue out, waggling it up and down. Julia laid on her back and spread her legs wide. “No” he whispered. “Lick the hinges, you horny bitch.”
One paw at a time, Julia was doing well until it came to her tail. A snag in the metal bars tore a slit down the side of it and she let out the faintest of screeches. The itchy rat three cages down rolled over and saw the two disobediently outside their bars. “Murderers! Murderers!” he blurted out and started yanking back and forth on the bars. Instantly, the other rats sprang from sleep and joined in the cacophony. “Murderers!” the refrain. Guy and Julia abandoned stealth for speed, bounded to the floor and made it to the lab door. “Guy, they hate us!” Julia cried. “Fuck them. They’re lab rats” Guy reassured her and they made their way out of the lab and tasted stolen freedom for the first time in months.
——
The whir of the landscaper’s machinery kept causing Dr. Reddenpecker to lose concentration. O’Brien curled asleep at his breast, Dr. Reddenpecker lowered his head onto his keyboard. He’d be able to concentrate on the data after a short nap. High pitched wails from the lab room snapped the doctor’s head out of dreamland. “What the hell is that! O’Brien!” he yelled and sank a claw into O’Brien’s shoulder. “Go find out what in God’s name is going on in there!”
Tomorrow
Chapter 3: The Chase
It’s like the Secret of NIMH as written by Sugarfree.
https://youtu.be/975_zJoS5jU?t=28
Masks may not (!) do much at all.
Good, I’ll save that one for the next time some asshole starts hassling me outside the local Dairy Queen for not wearing one.
The Dairy Queen (long term, at least) is more likely to kill them than some virus.
Since they eliminated butterscotch flavoring Dairy Queen is dead to me.
Imagine, not being able to get a butterscotch milkshake at a DQ, it was one of their trademark features for decades.
Now all their products must be co-marketed with other popular treats, such as Snickers shakes or Skittles sundaes.
A DQ butterscotch malt with chopped nuts mixed in was one of life’s true sinful pleasures. And sadly, never to be indulged in again.
Wait–they ditched the butterscotch…? But…no. That’s the move of an asshole mad-man!
People shouldn’t be forced to wear them but it is a good practice and should be encouraged. Anyone saying they are ineffective is being disingenuous. Certain masks, N95s and the like, certainly help to prevent getting sick while the crappier masks and face coverings keep people from blowing saliva and snot all over the place when they sneeze and cough. Of course the surgeon’s mask types don’t filter out the virus but there’s more to it than that.
It’s probably about 90% here of mask wearers out in public. I really get a kick out of the people driving with them on. I still am resisting even though our stupid bitch mayor decreed it yesterday.
It’s maybe 50% here and less than 50% observing social distancing.
I don’t drive with them on, that’s just stupid.
Taking one off and on is stupid. Put it on once and leave it on until you return home.
Fuck that shit. Are you talking about a bandana? Or are you driving around with a N95 mask on?
We take ours with us. Before we get out to go in the stores, we put them on. When we are back in the car, we take them off.
I don’t get where you are going here?
Regardless of how much good they do, one fact.
Anyone who thinks the only people not wearing them or who thinks that the only people who are pissed about this are Trump fans, are out of their fucking minds and they are in for a very rude awakening.
Here in Los Angeles, the deaths are miniscule. The whole state has had 1200 deaths. There’s 40 million people in California. That’s .03% of the population. # hundredths of a percent. Tell me this all makes sense knowing that. The confirmed cases amount to .8 of one percent of the population. Odds of encountering this virus are very low. Then again, lottery tickets sell very well, so there’s that.
Having had much time to ponder this. There is a certain small section of the population who are obsessed with seizing a crisis to enable them to impose their Malthusian dreams on the rest of us.
There is now a much greater percent of the population who wish for the former to succeed, for a very different reason: We must get Bad Orange Man.
There you have it.
I don’t think this was ever about the virus. I think it was a test run to see just how soft we were how and much they could fuck with us. Order 22 million people out of their jobs and onto unemployment over the risk that 60k people might die? We never did that before, largely, I think, because previous governors knew they could *never* get away with shit like this. The majority of the populace not only approves at this point, but is begging for more. They wanted to see how soft we were, and knowing we’ll shit ourselves over a bad flu means they will lock us down again, whenever it’s convenient to bury a news cycle, conceal another terrible bit of legislation, or steal an election. We’re fucked, and my new hobby is off-grid prepper.
This isn’t just in the US…
I confess to a US focus. My hat’s off to Sweden for not losing their shit yet.
“The majority of the populace not only approves at this point, but is begging for more.”
Call it optimism, or call it careful observation.
I think you are badly mistaken about the public perception and how this is going to play out.
I hope you are right, but….
I really hope you’re right. My perception is tinged by working for a news corp. And the majority of *them* are fully on board. Of course, they can all work from home, and none of them have lost their jobs yet, because we don’t depend entirely on local advertising. I’m sure when our revenue continues to decline, and the company starts laying off people to stay in the black, they’ll suddenly discover the concept of ‘informed risk.’
Yep, I am worried that this coronavirus will be in the future considered the beginning of a very bad time…
It’s never about the virus, or the terrorists, or abortion, or drugs or any of that. It’s about people with power succumbing to the itch to use force on any problem. Oh, and of course it’s about psychopaths that weave their way into government.
Endorsed.
I dont want to claim to be prescient- but I called that a month ago. This whole exercise over not much of anything it’s just a dry run for November.
What are you thinking might happen in November? Something about the election and Trump presumably?
https://pjmedia.com/trending/breaking-youve-never-heard-a-president-announce-what-trump-just-did-never/
Woops. All immigration halted.
Brilliant. If only Trump could ban abortions until the return to normal, the entire county would open up for business by Thursday.
Agreed. He could also accomplish that by making it An emergency federal policy that all persons legal to own a firearm can concealed carry as they are in the militia. Stronger together.
If they would add “..and all military veterans..” as the militia only includes military veterans up to the age of 64. (I’m not there yet but I’d like to be included)
Yes, please! The Concealed Carry benefits given to retired LEOs and court officers is enraging when I’m over here with far more range time and training than a great many of them.
Is it time for Ancaps to do a victory dance yet? Or should we wait until the entire constitution is reduced to a pile of ashes?
It will be rich when they start screaming (correctly) that Trump does not have the power under the constitution to do this. They will because “no shame,” but fair-weather constitutionalists are kinda the worst sort of hypocrites. At least Murphy admitted he didn’t care.
Whether on not Covid 19 is as dangerous as the government and it’s lackeys in media say it is, it really doesn’t matter. Let’s say there is an outbreak of a disease with much higher mortality/infection rates. Would that justify the government going full draconian? Sure, it’s fine to point out when the government uses fudged numbers to create panic. However, relying on that as the main argument against what the government is doing now is a a big mistake IMO. There will come a time when a real danger arises. Also, what if it turns out Covid 19 actually is as dangerous as they say? Would that justify what they did? Personally, I think it had the potential to kill magnitudes more than have already died. But my overall argument against violating human rights wouldn’t change.
-Not really directed at anyone here. Just from watching the protesters and hearing their arguments.
Agreed. My biggest fear is that, having demonstrated they *can* lock down a population over a predicted 60k deaths, that next, they *will* because, after all, around 60k people die of the flu every year and are you so heartless you’d kill grandpa before his time? We only have to print six trillion dollars and put 22 million people out of work to prevent the worst effects of a bad flu season. And everyone forgets that free will or informed risk were ever a thing and we all live happily ever after.
I see an opportunity being not only squandered, but actually endorsing future actions by the government. “You can only rape me if you prove that you have to do it and you haven’t proved it in this case.” Basically what I’m hearing from conservatives.
I’m very much hoping (but I know it’s fantasy) that the next wave of legislation across the states will involve codifying when the state can lock down the population and the answer will be “never.” You hear me? Fucking never. Grownups can decide to huddle in their homes if they so choose. Which is also why I’m heavily debating whether my hatred of cold weather is worth ruling South Dakota out of the candidate list of states I’d flee to from VA. Gee… a hot governor that won’t violate my freedoms in a cold and snowy state, over someone with the college nickname of ‘coonman’ that presumes to lecture me about racism and tell me whether my work is actually valuable to the economy. I’m leaning towards snow at the moment.
Coonman!
Sign the order, pen in hand!
Save me!
I’m together with your plan
Save meeeee!
Half the journalists at my company refuse to admit that ever happened, and instead clutch their pearls that the rednecks in the state keep bringing it up. “FWIW I don’t want to be in a world where “Coonman” is considered acceptable” Great, asshole, I agree, which is why I’m mad he’s not only our governor but that you continue to cover for his own racism whilst howling about the ignorant racism of anyone that would attack him. I hate that guy.
Don’t forget he has the best armed security your tax money can buy but the only military issue personal arms you and the rest of the unwashed will only be allowed will be from the 19th century.
I’m with you on fucking never. If this were truly the next septicemic plague then people would do it anyway. It’s truly not even close to that. I’m just (possibly naively) still holding out hope that when this blows over in some months more people might look a bit more askance at scientific models that predict doom.
And yes, I am going to get some remote land and prep harder.
Just wait until some other sooper secret lab in China doing off-the-books illegal experimentation with smallpox forgets to close the Tupperware on their dead infected lab rats.
I’m sure we can swing an additional six trillion dollars of debt every year.
If we all just look behind our couch cushions….
I figured I’d have to be camping out on them at some point.
/brother, can you spare a sofa?
You are 100% correct. Don’t make no matter how scary the threat, this shit ain’t right.
Yeah, and just like always, it’s a tiny minority of us that feel this way.
I think for a truly scary ebola like thing a lot of people in general in a vaguely civilized would isolate without being forced
/\/\/\/\ THIS is pretty much the point as I see it. Give us the unvarnished truth about the risks and make recommendations but don’t issue any orders you lack the authority for. If it was zombie-ebola with a 4 week asymptomatic period during which all infected people will be spreading the disease everybody would self-isolate without being told.
And knowingly and intentionally spreading it? Manslaughter or murder. The lawyers can figure that out.
I think we could have gotten almost as much of a flattening if we followed the Swedish approach more closely. Thankfully they did what they did and after this works its way out over the next months, there is one example that can be thrown back in the face of the duh clozure saved us all people. I especially like that Sweden is like some kind of shiny blond utopia to leftists, as they seem the majority of the keep it closed crowd. And of course, we can expect many upcoming Salon and Slate articles about how Socialist Sweden’s shiny blond healthcare system was the real reason why they defeated the evil virus.
Agreed. Actually irritated that Trump keeps attacking Sweden for not locking down. Grateful he hasn’t actually given in to jackbooted jerkoff fantasies where the president has the power to suspend the first amendment, but annoyed that he keeps playing up Sweden as a failure. I bet in the end, they come out with less long term damage than we caused ourselves. I feel like we amputated our left leg to prevent a case of athlete’s foot, and everyone is cheering the decision.
Winston posted this in the previous thread and it’s good.
https://www.aier.org/article/the-worst-public-policy-in-a-century/
“Your food does not come from the supermarket. It comes from places like the world’s oceans and the Great Plains, mighty fields of beans, corn, and wheat, orchards, ranches, and the places that process your fish, veggies, and meat. Our cornucopia arises not from your need, but from the incentives of people to sow and reap, collect and harvest. The government destroyed those incentives by locking down and proving itself capable of just about anything at this point.
Crops must be planted now to have a chance to mature before winter returns again. Calves, piglets, and baby chicks must be attended to now, not when some politician thinks we have enough testing kits or (increasingly irrelevant) ventilators or PPE or whatever.”
So when we start experiencing food shortages and these ancient ills, those which we so thought we had left behind forever, start rearing their ugly heads again, remember what it was that caused it. The United States (or the “western world” if you prefer) does not possess magic dirt. It is not immune to the problems that plague most of the world; it may be slightly more resistant because of accumulated wealth and power, but it is not immune. If our leaders act like corrupt, third world, tinpot dictators, then the results will be that of a corrupt, third world, dictatorship.
I was confused by that passage. We’re not locking down farmers or any part of the food chain that I’m aware of. Well, until someone gets the sniffles and entire plants are closed down. I’m not sure exactly what he’s referring to there.
Lock down the distribution, or the packing plants, or the mechanics that fix the harvesters, or the outlet selling fertilizer… etc. etc.
It’s the question of the centralized economy and the information problem. It’s not possible for the government to know what is “essential” and what isn’t. They can’t calculate what kind of 10th order economic consequences there will be from any particular action. Let’s shut down 7-11. OK. Maybe 7-11 is the primary customer for some kind of beef jerky that goes under because they no longer have a buyer. Maybe that beef jerky maker is the primary customer for some small meat packing plant that can no longer stay operational without their revenue. Maybe ranchers don’t have anywhere to sell their cattle because the packing plant closed… Some politician saying “well, buying your Big Gulp isn’t essential!” just caused a major disruption in some part of the beef supply chain.
Oh, agreed!
If we do get food shortages, well, buckle up.
My grandson and fiance have a restaraunt. The rancher they *used* to buy their bison from is desperate. He sold only to restaurants who’ve stopped buying. He now can’t afford to maintain his herd.
That is awful for everyone, including the bison. Damn.
Thx. I’ll check it out when I’m done washing my undies.
http://archive.li/tGQRM/10c953569ca3f305f755088884675ec663b3cd75.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/2H8nn/28c19a07f27b657a63f9c00217ce8c96e9e37d14.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/JkL2b/eaf2afa4ed264751f879f1c20f7ce413060f0a3e.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/yBqQT/3f55f2830d44daca26c5dfc7b2dcf30907d322fc.jpg
NSFW.
Ba-zing!
I’ll take number 3
With the exception of the this one (due to the suggested Onanism), these all look they came out of 1960s Playboy Magazines, but in better focus. Is that a genre now?
I support that genre. It has its place in America.
Poontangers
/Sorry (not sorry)–just trying to lighten the mood.
For my fellow over-nighters (apologies to the non-‘Murica based glibs): Please remember this on Saturday night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX5ZRE26YWM
Rosa Skate Parks.
I want to think she would approve, as I most certainly do (their actions, and your riff).
Something tells me that, in today’s climate, she’d be scolding them.
I miss working on the flightline. 🙁 Working around the B-52s was like going back in time. Even with the updated avionics, it was still like going back to the 50s inside them.
If you want the ultimate nut punch, google Duncan Lemp.
“Detectives were following up on a complaint from the public that Lemp, though prohibited, was in possession of firearms”
https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/lawyer-man-asleep-police-fired-house-killing-69587748
Damn, our Stasi training from the lockdown is working much faster than expected!
There is a metric fuckton of fuckery from the po-po on this. It’ll all be swept under the rug, with gleeful help from Big Gov cheerleaders, due to this:
Presuming this is true, the usual anti-police leftists will soon be saying, “Now, hold on a minute…maybe he provoked them, and got what he so obviously deserved.”
Can’t have people supporting gun ownership–that’s strictly for agents of the State.
I wonder if any reporter was curious enough to follow up and find out why he was “prohibited”.
“Lemp, though prohibited, was in possession of firearms”
As usual, the article doesn’t say anything about why he was prohibited from owning firearms. The article does say none of the family at that residence had a criminal record. There are a few other reasons why the government will prohibit gun ownership so I wonder why that reason wasn’t stated. Sounds like they are just carrying water for the LEO’s.
I’ve read that he had juvenile convictions (unknown violations, probably due to sealed records), that prohibited him from owning until age 30.
Never heard of that kind of time-frame for possession bans. Must be a MD thing.
Yep. That’s why he was denied his rights.
I read that at least some of the statements about what happened–I think to the police, after the shooting–came from “the other room occupant”. That would most likely be his girlfriend. The thing is, what they are reporting makes it sound like she was somewhat ratting on him.
Everything seems too vague to really get good answers, so I could be way off. Then again, someone was the original narc on him. Plus, why did they wait 3 months, but go in for a no-knock? If he was possibly dangerous enough to need that, why did they give him three months to hurt someone? When he didn’t, why did judge Rubber McStampface sign off on it? Can that shit-heel be recalled/voted out?
I can do better than that. I represented a former cop/former special forces who got a no knock raid from information over a year old. A local judge read that and still signed the warrant.
Fuck dat judge. How did it go, btw?
Long story short: trial court didn’t grant suppression of evidence but the appellate court did.
He described Lemp as a libertarian who frequented the 4chan and Reddit message boards, sites popular with internet trolls.
Now there’s a crucial detail! Thanks, ABC! Good shoot!
I take it their message boards are troll-free.
::eye-roll::
Ever since they turned off comments, absolutely.
She’s the trifecta: Ugly, stupid, and evil.
Chafed: tried to share this on Saturday, but the site kept rejecting it.
Another feel good story. Thanks for sharing and thanks for introducing me to that site.
You know it!
Oh, Jazz–so close, and yet, so far.
Here’s a question for all naysayers: if our rights aren’t absolute, does that mean that government power is? That IS what you’re trying to say, right?
Who the hell am I talking to??
if our rights aren’t absolute – first one must agree which these rights are
This is true. Plus, talking about the framework (negative vs positive), etc.
Housing, food, healthcare….
And where did he say that, Wapo? That’s right, in Schenck, another wartime abomination like Korematsu, where SCOTUS took the Constitution into the toilet and wiped their ass with it because the big bad wartime bogey man scared the spineless POS trolls in black robes into ignoring the plain fucking words on the parchment. Fuck fuck fuck. Democracy dies in the darkness because Stasi fellating fake news like Wapo turns out the goddam lights so no one sees what’s going on.
Just to be the pedant in the room… The US government’s power is pretty much unlimited but their authority is supposed to stop where our rights begin.
Well, I was conflating. ?
The US government’s power is pretty much unlimited [outside of the borders of the US and over non-citizens within the boarders] but their authority is supposed to stop where our [US citizen’s] rights begin. /true pedant
The 10A’s reservation of powers not delegated, belong to the states and the people would seem to challenge that.
I’m so glad to see this stuck up her ass?
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/04/20/nuke-the-fridge-trump-campaign-ad-featuring-nancy-pelosis-premium-ice-cream-stash-is-brutal/
That IS savage. She can rot.
Plays poorly for both. Too bad I’m not some rube in flyover country in a swing state that could be convinced to vote for Trump if he did things I agree with…
Since he’s the incumbent, I doubt there’s all that many swing voters not already decided about him. If that’s true, it brings into question what the point is, other than to dunk on her.
She can still rot.
Wisconsin elected a retard school union president Gov after it swung for Trump, it’s swinging like foursore’s balls here.
HahahahEwww….
I mean, uh……whatever doesn’t get 4×20 after me.
Be careful, I think he has dogs which shoot bees out of their mouth when they bark
Is his real name “Monty”?
“Let them eat sherbet”?
Non-dairy frozen treat.
Yo Diggus! Got to be at work for two days! 3 days off, woot!
Dayum! How’s it been to be back there? Any….’good luck’?
I was on the same shift as her for the first time since shit hit the fan…I did tell her a joke that got a laugh, but otherwise chickened out. But that has made me determined to go kamikazee before I’m layed off again in the beginning of May. Nothing Left To Lose.
Oooh…Well, God bless in the endeavor!
I’m still holding onto that ‘request’ I mentioned a while back, should things ‘take off’.
Were you baiting to link to Geddy Lee?
Eh, I can’t bait here.
I bait a lot. Like a champion fisherman. For the first time ever my cowardice isn’t only coming from personal cowardice, but also fear of HR and department guidelines…but it is the end of the world. (I bet that’s not the link you thought!)
You would be correct, as I didn’t even know it existed.
You’ve known me this long without me forcing CoLd down your face? No wonder you didn’t get ma singing thing I shared.
To be fair, I try not to get singing things, shared or not….
Where now for those who value liberty? That which for us men, women and all other genders has taken a brutal prison beat down and ass rape. How will this shake out? Who are the winners and losers from this? Yes, we will all be poorer. Likely many more may die an earlier death due to it than the virus. It will make the upcoming election even more popcorn worthy.
Why do you want to kill my grandma who is already dead!?
God bless our dead grandmas
(I had one great one that I still miss)
What’s the next conjuring act for the DPA? It’s a magic wand that can bring whatever the president wishes into existence.
https://hotair.com/archives/ed-morrissey/2020/04/20/hmmm-trump-use-dpa-order-production-20m-swabs-per-month/
…something something omelettes…something something ordering at Denny’s…
$5 Grand Slam for every man, woman, and child in America?
Fuck the Gold Standard! Implement the Denny’s Standard! They’ve had the most stable prices of any commodity.
I like Denny’s, but…does $5 still get you the same amount as it it did….oh, say, 25 years ago?
Also, I can has Dawn breakfast?
She wears a cross, but not a crucifix, that means she’s DTF IMO.
You may be right. Also, I just figure out why her nostrils are problematic–reminds me of spousal best friend.
Governor Fuckface releases vague plan.
MADISON (WLUK) —
Fuck that fucking k…karen…
What I wouldn’t give for a Becky right about now…
I hope you noticed the source of that video link so can be aware of bias.
Right now; just noticing thicc. But, yes. ??
Huh? Alls I saw was a low quality video of some guy apparently called Jim Evers or something like that. ’tweren’t no thicc I tells ya.
No–I was just doing a semi-callback to wanting a “Becky”; being fixated on a thicc search. I realized I hadn’t quite thought out my verbage after writing it.
Alls well that somethings well, thiccxated Digbert.
??
UK lockdown has no end in sight. Tyrants gonna tyrant.
Squirrel Biden is in charge of putting the posts in.
Sort of putting the ‘sick’ in ‘Sic semper tyranis’.
Consider that stoled by me.
?
Morning Glibs.
Hey y’all
Morning, UCS & T&T. How are both of you this morning?
I need a vacation.
Oh, and it’s password change day, so I’ll be typing the wrong password for the next week.
I was just thinking that yesterday. Non-payroll weeks late in the month (after all the monthly reports to the Board are done) get pretty boring. The main thing that saved me yesterday was that UnreliableCoWorker (hereinafter known as UCW) called in sick again, so I had to back her up on several of her daily gotta-do’s. If she’s off again today, there’ll be additional tasks that won’t be able to wait for her return.
I have the problem that I like to do a good job and be able to take pride in my work output, even if it’s completely useless. We have a number of significant things that need to be done but can’t get done because we don’t even have enough people to just keep the darn place running.
With the way the wind has been blowing, I could end up being the only peoplesoft administrator for seven or eight enterprise sized applications. Last time I was the only one left, it was for an infrastructure a third the size of this, I got to the point where I was snapping at help desk agents and antacid was one of my major food groups.
Yikes! Have you had recent layoffs or furloughs due to the state shutdowns, or have you always been short-staffed? (I know, I know – “why not both?”)
We hire consultants to get up to short staffed. People leaving for promotion or retirements combined with not renewing consultant contracts to save money short term means we bleed expertise and institutional knowledge. They refuse to hire, and even when we do get someone, it takes a year or two to learn peoplesoft because no one knows it coming in.
So far no furloughs or layoffs.
Good. Waiting for the shift to change then head home.
Good morning all.
Why am I up?
Insomnia? Caffiene? Having gone to bed too early?
Nah. Just woke up early. I guess I’ll catch up on sleep during the day as usual.
NJ government hates (((them))).
https://www.nj.com/news/2020/04/lakewood-venue-will-host-small-wedding-ceremonies-mayor-says-ag-says-thats-not-ok.html
Wow! I thought only Hindu weddings were that long! (Usually longer, IIRC.)
OK, then.
https://myfox8.com/news/er-doctor-self-isolates-in-his-kids-treehouse/
NC’s gov has not weighed in on his cower in place order that expires April 29. A few NC beaches opened albeit with ridiculous restrictions.
The Outer Banks was closed off to nonresidents early in March. Dare County is going to open the Outer Banks back up in a few days.
Good signs. Hopefully, I can salvage my family’s canceled camping trip
Would this be the start of tourist season in that area? I would imagine it would be a huge economic hit if restrictions prevented that. The hits just keep on comin’.
https://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/lockdown-trunk-call-man-arrested-for-trying-to-smuggle-girlfriend-to-mpumalanga-in-car-boot-20200420
Heh.
Just reading the headline made my mind go here:
Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Mpumalanga is hiding…