Easter Sunday Open Post

by | Apr 12, 2020 | Open Post | 498 comments

Because TPTB all looked at each other and said, “I thought YOU were writing something!”

 

 

About The Author

Glib Staff

Glib Staff

498 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    Easter.

    (((They)))) did it.

    • Nephilium

      The joke was made last night. ((They)) outsourced it to the Italians.

      Happy Easter you magnificent bastards.

      • Old Man With Candy

        “was made” Nice passive voice.

        MY JOKE! I EXPECT ROYALTIES.

      • Nephilium

        I try to avoid calling people out.

        And the joke is older then you!

        /pours a sweet white for OMWC

      • Jarflax

        Last time you (((guys))) asked for royalty you got Saul and were all pissed about him.

  2. UnCivilServant

    Open… post?

    How am I supposed to go off topic?!

      • Walford

        That should have been used for His birth, not death / resurrection.

      • UnCivilServant

        Look, I said I’ve been procrastinating.

      • Suthenboy

        Those are some delicious looking claws.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Technologically racist….tsk tsk tsk.

    • AlmightyJB

      The topic is Easter candy. Best and worse. Are Peeps the greatest thing ever or what. Now you have something to freely ignore.

      • Nephilium

        I’ll chose what.

        /tosses AlimightyJB some Necco wafers.

      • AlmightyJB

        Mmmmm…chalk.

      • Spudalicious

        You misspelled chocolate. Chocolate Necco Wafers. Right up there with stale Peeps and stale Circus Peanuts.

      • C. Anacreon

        Here’s a timely poem for you:

        Chocolate Necco

        Is totally blecch-o.

      • Not Adahn

        Other than the fact that they are two goddamned dollars and fiddy cents apiece, these are probably better than peeps.

      • OneOut

        Your link says they are $4.95 each.

      • Not Adahn

        For two.

      • OneOut

        I didn’t read that far but they look good.

      • Sean

        Two per pack

      • AlmightyJB

        Those do look good

      • Tres Cool

        Cadbury’s AIGS are like crack to me.

      • Sean

        Ugh. I used to love them.

        If I tried to eat one now, I’d probably have to spit I out from sugar overload.

      • Count Potato

        Keto?

      • Sean

        Yup. Your palette really does recalibrate.

      • R C Dean

        True. I had the same experience.

      • Count Potato

        I have no sweet tooth. I can eat sweet spicy stuff like BBQ, but I never eat candy. On holidays, I might sample a one of a few cookies.

      • Aloysious

        Homemade marshmallow is the best, and only, answer.

        It is a sticky mess, so you should only make it naked.

      • UnCivilServant

        And get it stuck to my hair?

        No thanks.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        #MerkinMess

      • creech

        I’ll take good old-fashioned jelly beans.

      • Not Adahn

        Who makes Old-Fashioned flavored jelly beans?

      • UnCivilServant

        Someone out there. I don’t know who, but I know it’s out there.

      • Sean

        I swear I’ve seen bourbon flavored ones.

      • Fourscore

        The black ones, artificial anise flavor, are my faves.

      • Nephilium

        Fourscore: If you want self hatred, I live near the largest candy store in the world, and can send you whatever hellish treats you want.

      • Fourscore

        Thanks, Neph, for your kind offer. I try to avoid candy as much as possible, its my Achilles’s heel. I’ll take a rain check but thanks anyway. You’re another unmet good friend.

      • C. Anacreon

        Nestlé Sno-Caps chocolate nonpareils.

        The perfect movie candy, and incredible over ice cream.

        Fight me.

      • Rhywun

        Nestlé Sno-Caps chocolate nonpareils.

        I pointed that out once and got shot down.

        Some people.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        The perfect movie candy

        Eh…chocolate almonds. But, their boxes tend to be similar, so…agree to disagree?

      • Spudalicious

        “Nestlé Sno-Caps chocolate nonpareils.

        The perfect movie candy, and incredible over ice cream.

        Fight me.”

        That’s not even a good troll.”

      • Count Potato

        Ronald Reagan?

      • UnCivilServant

        Look, it’s an educated inference based upon what I’ve seen of the country and the custom food industry.

      • mindyourbusiness

        Ainta gonna vouch for ’em, but try Russell Stover.

      • pistoffnick

        Ferrero Rocher Hazelnut Chocolate balls

      • Old Man With Candy

        Mary Sue Easter Eggs.

      • Mojeaux

        Peeps must be unwrapped and appropriately aged before consumption.

  3. Aloysious

    Got off work early, survived the corona-cooties one more day, and now for dinner.

    Wait. No. Must drink. Then dinner.

    • Aloysious

      Oh yeah. Glib staff is what I call my…

      • AlmightyJB

        Infection?

      • Aloysious

        Exactly. How did you know?

    • AlmightyJB

      If I drink before eating, I usually never get around to eating.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Drinking gives me the munchies. ’Specially beer.  :-/

      • Fourscore

        A problem I had

    • Atanarjuat

      Somehow, ‘drinking then dinner’ usually turns into drinking, then getting emotional about loss, then watching depressing movies about war, then passing out.

      • AlmightyJB

        That’s not so bad. Beats waking up outside or in the drunk tank or covered with blood.

  4. Atanarjuat

    Open post. I have big ideas, but no clue how to accomplish them.

    • Nephilium

      I suggest Glienlivet.

      • Nephilium

        *sigh*

        Glenlivet.

      • UnCivilServant

        The Glen Civet? Makes sense, you get coffee from the excrement of southeast asian civets, I’m sure you get booze from the excrement of the scottish civets.

      • Nephilium

        So a Brit, a Mick, and a Scotsman were at a pub. Somehow a fly landed in all of their drinks. The Brit asked for a replacement, the Mick pulled the fly out and finished the drink, the Scotsman pulled the fly out started hitting it on the back and shouted, “Spit it out you bastard!”

      • AlmightyJB

        LOL:)

      • Count Potato

        So a Chinese, a Japanese, and a Korean, go to a fancy restaurant. The maître d’ stops them at the door.

        “Sorry, gentlemen, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”

      • Tres Cool

        What do you call ‘Scottish Tea’?

        Hot water.

      • westernsloper

        + 1 pebble

      • Not Adahn

        Oh, you do NOT want that. Scottish civets are the civet version of that “Fat Bastard” character.

      • gbob

        It’s all the fried food they keep offering the civets.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Mmmmmmmm, King ribs.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        the Scottish civets

        Sounds like it could be a gnarly military unit.

      • Tejicano

        Glenlivet used to be my go-to evening tipple for a nightcap. That or maybe a good Anejo Tequila.

        Then y’all started talking about bourbon and rye so I gave each a try. Now I generally have one of each in the cabinet. My go to bourbon tens to be Woodford reserve.

        So now my evening refrain reminds me of and old Simon & Garfunkel tune with new lyrics – “Are you going to have a few drinks, Bourbon, Scotch, Tequila, and Rye…”

        My liver now officially hates you all.

      • AlmightyJB

        Have you done the Woodford Reserve Double Oaked. That’s definitely one of my favs. Great Smokey flavor. Last purchase was Elijah Craig and I really like that as well.

      • AlmightyJB

        What’s your favorite tequila?

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Me neither!

      Cocktail?

      • Atanarjuat

        Probably not a good idea, since I’m 3 pints in…Aw, fuckit. Hit me.

      • Nephilium

        3 pints? Piker!

        /pours out a Duvel can

    • Not Adahn

      My big, multi-million dollar idea (totally ripped off from UCS)

      Miniature. Sheep.

      For house pets. I’ll make a fortune!

      • gbob

        Itll be a Scotish orgy every night.

      • Nephilium

        Nope. I had to wash those assholes before sheering one year. Sheep don’t use toilet paper.

      • UnCivilServant

        The shear amount of maintenance sheep require make dogs look self-sufficient.

      • Not Adahn

        By the time we’ve got them bred down to Cocker Spaniel size, we’ll have that all figured out.

      • Nephilium

        But Sheep at least taste better then dogs. (Running on assumption based on what meats I can purchase in grocery stores).

      • Count Potato

        Mutton seems pretty rare in the U.S.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fun fact, it is apparently legal to label mutton as ‘lamb’ and sell it.

      • Nephilium

        Mutton and lamb are mildly different. But I can get both at my local butchers.

      • AlmightyJB

        Mutton is big in KY BBQ joints. Originally typed W instead of Q. Should have left it:)

      • UnCivilServant

        Can you recommend one? At some point in the next year I’ll be passing theough Kentucky.

      • SP

        All you need to know about dining in Kentucky: Middle Fork Kitchen Bar in Lexington.

        http://www.middleforkkb.com/

        Assuming they survive.

      • SP

        Not rare in New Mexico/Arizona/Utah. It’s a staple food among the Diné I know. Mutton, that is.

      • Old Man With Candy

        There ain’t nuttin’ like your mutton!

      • AlmightyJB

        I honestly don’t know anything about KY BBQ joints. My son in law is from Owensboro and worked at Moonlite BBQ there. He said it’s great and they have great Mutton there. If you do go through Owensboro, the Bluegrass Hall of Fame is there.

      • westernsloper

        They don’t seem to have mutton but this place had the best brisket I have ever eaten.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, but the fathers of all the little girls who will be demanding them won’t know that until after they buy the first one!

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Miniature sheep?

        Please tell me there’s no duct tape involved.

      • Tres Cool

        Velcro.

      • Jarflax

        Pfft, miniature unicorns or GTFO. Surely someone can figure out a way to get a horn to grow on a miniature horse!

      • pistoffnick

        We had a lamb for a house pet growing up for half a year. Her name was Bambi. Her mother died giving birth to her so we bottle fed her. First she had a cardboard box, then we made a doggie bed for her.

        Eventually she got big enough to join the rest of the herd.

      • UnCivilServant

        Now she’s tweeting that there need to be more lockdowns?

      • Gender Traitor

        Miniature. Sheep.

        For house pets. I’ll make a fortune!

        Free range tampons

      • LemonGrenade

        My parents used to breed and show poodles, so kept them in show cuts. One of my friends referred to them as ‘tampons with legs’.

  5. Derpetologist

    cross posted from dead thread

    Spot the Not: Dr. Fauci

    1. I enjoy very much communication. I think that scientists need to communicate.

    2. True health care reform cannot happen in Washington. It has to happen in our kitchens, in our homes, in our communities. All health care is personal.

    3. Is it or is it not ethical to create an embryo, and to create a person for the purpose of getting an organ to give to someone else? Your knee-jerk reaction is ‘absolutely not;’ but you need the ethical analysis of that to show why and how that is something that you need to stay away from.

    4. The worst potential bio-terrorist is nature itself.

    5. I think it would be over-exaggeration to think that there are millions of viruses ready to jump on us and bring us back to the 14th century. That would be looking over a ledge that isn’t there.

    6. Human nature is weak.

    • Atanarjuat

      6, WAG.

      In the words of the great P Brooks, someone should drop an anvil on that guy from a great height.

    • robc

      5 is the not.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      2

      • AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I’m going with 2 as well

    • westernsloper

      5?

      • AlmightyJB

        Ahhhhhh…burn it with fire!

    • Atanarjuat

      If only the filmmakers hadn’t included the sound of their voices.

      • westernsloper

        Meh, those girls rip!

    • Tres Cool

      I had to fast-forward. But that could be bunk-worthy.

      • Count Potato

        They look a bit spare for you.

    • cyto

      Reminds me that being a hot, young chick is a superpower in itself.

      I have a friend who went off the rails in her early thirties. Pretty hot chick…. abandoned her family to go sailing around the Carribean with a bunch of wealthy dudes in their 40’s and 50’s. They just gave her stuff, took her places, bought her meals and drinks and clothes and things…. Just on a “I’m a hot chick, can I have stuff for free” ticket. It isn’t an entirely uncommon story around these parts.

      You know what I’ve never heard of? Some 29 year old dudes with no job and no future having a bunch of women just buy them stuff and fly them around the world for companionship.

      • Count Potato

        It’s almost like men and women are different.

      • leon

        You know what I’ve never heard of? Some 29 year old dudes with no job and no future having a bunch of women just buy them stuff and fly them around the world for companionship.

        It’s like the entire premise of this Psych episode

      • Sean

        ?

      • salted earth

        “I’ve heard it both ways.”

      • Suthenboy

        “…abandoned her family…”

        She sounds like a real peach. I imagine the family got the better end of that deal.

      • cyto

        The new wife is an emotional upgrade, that’s for sure.

        I really like that family. They are really smart, spend a great deal of time on school and church, super talented in music and art and other areas…. and they are scam artists involved in chiropractic and various CAM supplement businesses.

        They absolutely make no sense. And I love that. I’m draw to people who are walking contradictions.

        The kids are great kids – smart, beautiful, athletic, extremely personable…. and yet… the oldest moved out at 15 when the mom went bonkers. He lived with grandma until he moved out on his own in his early 20’s. The next oldest is running off with his girlfriend… The other two are still in elementary and middle school….

        None of it makes sense.

        Meanwhile, the mom was the one who was most down to earth… and she turned into a polyamorous gypsy getaround who flirts with rich old men for a living while hooking up with a series of fellow gypsy guys for her fun. And all of them are shamelessly drawn in to her web of support. She went from an ultra-conservative christian homeschooling mom to pretty much the exact opposite in a matter of days.

        They’d actually make a great reality show.

      • westernsloper

        I’m not sure I would call those girls “no talent”. Not everybody can do what they do and I find it cool af. I can’t do it.

      • Rhywun

        You know what I’ve never heard of? Some 29 year old dudes with no job and no future having a bunch of women just buy them stuff and fly them around the world for companionship.

        That’s because they can only afford to fly them 72% of the way around the world.

      • Count Potato

        LOL

    • Suthenboy

      Yep. That does it.

    • pistoffnick

      I wish I was back in my 20s. Kite surfing looks like so much fun. Kite surfing with hot chicks in skimpy bathing suits looks like even more fun.

      • westernsloper

        I attempted to take it up back in 2001’ish when I was stuck in OK. I tried to teach myself with videos and reading and after a few bouts of almost drowning myself I decided to take a camping trip to Corpus and took a lesson. The wind did not cooperate and it was a dud few days which is rare for corpus. Fast fwd over the next almost twenty years I have had multiple lessons in multiple places. I can fly the kite fine. I can’t fly the kite and work my feet on a board. It is very three dimensional. It is the only sport that did not come natural to me and why I find it so amazing. I too wish it had been around when I was 20. Kite boarding is the shizznet! The last lesson I had was on Maui. My instructor was the cutest little Brazilian lady and a good instructor. She is in many kiteboarding videos and sponsored so I was told by the other instructors. I got up and was going and then yard saled it and she had to help me get to shore. She steered my kite as I hung onto her to get back to shore. Worth it!

      • cyto

        I missed my window…. we had it all set up back when it first became a thing… but life, kids, the business all intervened and I never did pursue the hobby.

        I was out on a little catamaran sailboat one day, about a mile offshore near Ft. Lauderdale when I heard a weird hissing sound. We were whipping along pretty good across the wind.. but this was not us.

        I looked around and here comes this guy on a kiteboard…. he was going at a ridiculous pace… right toward my head. At the last moment he switched the kite back, bit the board into the water and launched himself to crazy heights, right over the top of our mast. It was astonishing. He must have been 30 feet in the air….. he landed on the other side of the boat about 20 feet from where he launched… splonked under the water up to his chest or more… there was a long pause as the kite did its work.. and then he launched away again, easily at twice our speed.

        After that moment I had the same feeling you did…. this was something I had to do. I’ve been 2 miles from one of the most active kitesurfing locations anywhere for the last decade and a half… and never did make the time before I got too old and out of shape.

    • Ted S.

      You’d think the intro to the video would name the senator in question.

      • Chafed

        Josh Hawley from MO.

  6. Aloysious

    Isn’t it interesting how fast you get drunk drinking straight out of the bottle?

    Good thing I would never do that.

    • Nephilium

      Pinkies out!

      • Sean

        For Harambe?

    • cyto

      We did bloody Marys with a new vodka. (rain, I think. Cool bottle. Don’t waste your time) The three shots I had while mixing stuff up did the trick, more than the two in the glass….. Two of those was all I could handle… Bloody Mary is a pain in the rear from scratch.

      Still, I’m old and fat. Only made it to “almost kinda buzzed”. Apparently 7 shots in an hour ain’t gonna do it….

      The Sister in Law made it to “happy to sit here on the couch and laugh at classic Little Rascals episodes” on just the two rounds, so something must have gone right.

  7. Nephilium

    With the end of the world happening. At least my local strudel shop is open. My Friday goal is to wake up early enough to walk up there and back before I’m supposed to work.

    • Tres Cool

      My friday goal is to not replace the TV i replaced the TV I fell into last friday after GlibsZoom

      • Nephilium

        Not my fault.

        I’m supposed to be down in Canal Winchester in August. Supposed to be.

      • Count Potato

        Do you have another TV?

        Oddly enough, some places have insane deals on TV’s. My supermarket, for some unknown reason, was selling 4K 50″ for less than $300.

      • UnCivilServant

        Pre-infected from Wuhan?

      • Count Potato

        I doubt it. Probably Malaysia.

      • Sean

        Is it possible to buy a new tv that was not made in China?

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m hoping some come from Korea.

      • Count Potato

        Yes.

      • Sean

        Please share some knowledge.

      • Count Potato

        I would have to look up specifics, but last I checked the Japanese and Korean companies not only made TV’s in Japan and Korea, but other non-CCP asian countries.

  8. OneOut

    Merry Christmas everyone !!

    /Joe Biden

    • AlmightyJB

      Lol

    • cyto

      I laughed.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      I also laughed. I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?

      • Hyperion

        Yes. But not because of that.

    • Hyperion

      Merry Thanksgiving, horse face pony soldier!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    I had an idea. Maybe I’ll go sit on an offramp in Bozeman with a “Will Assassinate Impeach Governor Bullock for Food” sign.

    • Hyperion

      Why the hell do they need a social distancing rule in Montana? There are places around Bozeman you could take off walking and never see another human being again for the rest of your life.

      • UnCivilServant

        Just because you’ve become animal chow before you reach the next human…

      • Hyperion

        It’s true even if you don’t become bear food. Have you ever been to Bozeman?

      • UnCivilServant

        The Fargo-Forth Worth line is the furthest west I’ve gotten.

      • Hyperion

        Bozeman takes wild mountain wilderness to an entirely different level. You probably won’t see anything like that in the USA unless it’s in Alaska.

      • UnCivilServant

        Unless you deliberately turn to avoid it, you’ll leave montana and eventually either reach a populated area – or the sea.

      • Count Potato

        Almost all of these rules make no sense. They shut down most of NYC, then pack people into subway cars like cans of sardines.

      • Hyperion

        “pack people into subway cars like cans of sardines.”

        How to spread a virus 101.

        The last time I was in Manhattan at Times Square, you literally could not walk without constantly running into other people, I mean like every second. I hate it, never going back there again.

  10. dbleagle

    Well I am back. They doubled down on stupid here by imposing a curfew on top of the other orders. So a buddy and I went for a multi-day sail and snuck over to a neighboring island and back. We caught a mahi-mahi on the way over and had it for dinner and breakfast and caught a pair of ahi on the way back. I’ll grill some tonight, we already had our own poki.

    Screw these people. Freedom and not safety is this highest good.

    • westernsloper

      Best comment of the day! And damn you! Super jealous.

    • leon

      BUT YOUR FREEDOM IS IMPINGING ON OTHER PEOPLES FREEDOMS TO CHOOSE SAFTEY OVER FREEDOM!

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Freedom is doing what you’re told so that everyone is safe!

      • dontreadonme

        “we already had our own poki” Don’t care to hear about your gay sex excapade….

    • Count Potato

      What’s poki?

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Gumbi’s horse.

      • westernsloper

        It is heaven in the form of ahi tuna.

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought I read all of that series as a child, but I’ve never heard of that one.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Live free or die: death is not the worst of evils.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Here’s to hoping more Americans start to feel this way.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Even when that was written, only about a 1/3 of Americans agreed.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Give me liberty or give me $1200 and a staycation.

      • Hyperion

        Did Nancy sign on for those crumbs?

      • Crusty Juggler

        I am hoping for more!

      • Suthenboy

        There is a lot less courage of conviction out there than most realize.
        You know Mr. Tacticool? Every police dept has a bunch of them. Every gun club. etc.

        I know who is gonna be the first to shit their pants and run when the shit hits the fan. I can pick them out a mile away.

      • Crusty Juggler

        “I know who is gonna be the first to shit their pants and run when the shit hits the fan.”

        Yeah, it’s called IBS and some of us are living with it.

        Eff you right in your a!

      • Suthenboy

        *Hands Crusty a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and a roll of paper towels with an empathetic look

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I know. The proggies living in mum’s basement who are going to start a ‘revolution’. And the cops who love to play soldier by knocking down someone’s door at 4am with a SWAT team armed to the teeth, but who would pee their pants if thrown onto a battlefield where they know the other people are going to maybe be awake and definitely going to shoot back.

      • Jarflax

        Their side is getting everything they want without leaving their basement. Why would they need to hit the trenches?

      • dontreadonme

        Which is exactly the problem. We are so fucked.

    • SP

      You, sir, are a scofflaw.

      And that’s a large part of why we like you so much.

    • DEG

      That sounds like a good day.

      Fuck the government.

  11. leon

    Happy Easter, I’ve been mostly absent trying to enjoy this day rather than be dragged down by the insanity in this world. Rember this:

    Woe to those who make unjust laws,
    to those who issue oppressive decrees,
    to deprive the poor of their rights
    and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people,
    making widows their prey
    and robbing the fatherless.

    – Isaiah 10

    • dontreadonme

      Well said. Is Isaiah your middle name?

    • Hyperion

      The mirror didn’t say ‘Fuck off, Tulpa!’.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        That was a second later.

    • westernsloper

      No that is me on the Zoom Happy Hours.

    • Nephilium

      But you eventually meet (a) god.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Oh boy!

      • Nephilium

        /raises a pint to HM

        Goy vey!

    • Suthenboy

      How in hell do you find this stuff?

      *I laughed

      • Heroic Mulatto

        *shrugs*

        It finds me.

    • Crusty Juggler

      NO YOU ARE

  12. Not Adahn

    Lol. Youtube is running advertisements for supressors again. Originally they were “solvent traps,” now they are “fuel filters.”

    I can’t believe that this happened a second time by accident. Gotta be a honeytrap.

    • Sean

      I’m on enough lists.

      • Suthenboy

        Eventually they all blur together and you stop paying attention to them.

      • dontreadonme

        molan labe

    • UnCivilServant

      waitwaitwaitwait – You watch youtube ads?

      And here I thought you were a technical person.

      • Ted S.

        Technically he’s not even a person, but an impeccably dressed rat.

      • UnCivilServant

        So he’s piloting a human robot?

      • Not Adahn

        It’s a sidebar ad.

    • Tejicano

      I understand that the Chinese have been selling a drop-in parts kit which converts Glocks to full auto. I don’t know where they have been advertising but they have been using some intermediary in the US to receive bulk shipments and send the individual units to the purchasers. This makes it difficult to trace where they are coming from since the shipments to the purchasers don’t go through customs.

  13. leon

    The origin of REEEE?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Still better than the po-faced faux-gravitas the Capitol insists on.

      • leon

        Like anyone has ever been almost caned to death in PMQs….

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Wasn’t that technically outside chambers?

        Been a while since I read up on that.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Just remember that, even with all this, they still managed to devolve into the current, modern UK.

  14. Mojeaux

    Made Easter dinner. The only thing I didn’t make from scratch was the gravy and it was thinner than Kate Moss, so I had to beef it up quite a bit with ye olde corne starche tricke.

    All in all it’s not bad, but it’s just another reminder of why I don’t cook dinner every night. What I made is just a normal dinner for my mom when I was growing up.

    • UnCivilServant

      Maybe its easier with lots of practice?

      • Mojeaux

        It wasn’t hard, just takes a while.

      • Nephilium

        Lots of cooking isn’t hard. It’s the timing that’s a bitch.

      • Jarflax

        Patience + willingness to follow instructions carefully = good cook. Add understanding of theory and you have chef. Add imagination and you have great chef.

      • Nephilium

        Me and my sister had to deal with my mom as a cook. Both of us have learned to cook since then. The girlfriend’s mom didn’t understand how I could schedule everything to be ready at the same time.

      • Suthenboy

        Yep. That is the real trick.

      • LemonGrenade

        Truth. Even I still end up serving some meals where at least one of the sides is a bit cold.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        willingness to follow instructions carefully

        Until that bites you in the ass. “No, dear, the air fryer isn’t the same as the oven. Or, the toaster oven, for that matter. You’re gonna have to stay close by, to see how the item cooks, instead of slavishly going by the directions on the package. So, no just running off to get back on the computer.”

      • Mojeaux

        Yes. I wanted it to be hot when XX got home from work. Turns out all she had to eat at work was a bottle of Gatorade and came home nauseated.

      • Suthenboy

        Sauces and gravies are an entire universe. It gives me great joy to explore that universe. As a matter of fact I just today purchased a blackberry merlot that I intend to make a butter sauce with. I have used merlot to do it before but not blackberry, a fruit which is distinctly different in taste than grapes.

        Remove cooked steaks from pan, place on cast iron plates and tuck in oven set on warm
        Melt half stick of butter in pan
        Pour in 1/2 to 3/4 cup blackberry merlot
        1 crushed garlic clove
        1 crumbled chicken bullion cube

        Deglaze pan with spatula and keep stirring until well mixed. As it begins to boil you will get the strong smell of wine
        Keep stirring. It will cook down and thicken. The instant it is ready you will know by the change in the smell. It won’t smell like wine anymore, it will be much more hearty and delicious smelling. It will also be cooked down to about 1/4 cup.

        Put steaks in front of your victims and tell them to lean back a bit. Pour sauce directly from pan onto steaks.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh this reminds me. Can you post your oven orange chicken recipe again?

      • Suthenboy

        Certainly.

        Simple version:

        For two skinless leg quarters
        :::::::

        Sprinkle chicken generously with spice mix. You can use Old Bay or any spice mix you want. I use a Cajun rub that is quite hot. I love the hot/sweet mix
        Bake your chicken at 425 with the insides up. After about 40 minutes flip the chicken with the outsides up. You can do it with skin-on but I find the sauce sticks better if it is skinless.

        Have a mix of 2 tablespoons of Jam/Jelly/marmelade – two tablespoons of ketchup – 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire – a sprinkle of granulated garlic on hand. Slather the chicken generously on the up-side with the sauce and bake for another 5 to 7 minutes. You want the sauce to turn into a sticky glaze but not burn so keep an eye on it.

        Very simple and easy. It takes less than a minute to rub the chicken and three minutes to mix up the sauce. Then you just wait. You can use any fruit preserves, in your case Orange marmalade. I have used apricot, kumquat, Orange, grape, and lemon marmelade. Now that I think of it the lemon was particularly delicious.

        By the way, it works great on pork ribs as well.

        Serve over rice.

      • Mojeaux

        Thank you!!!

      • Suthenboy

        You can add in a little spice of. your choice. Paprika is good, a little black pepper is good. After you do it a few times you will get the hang of what spices are compatible.

        It is almost a perfect dish. Sweet/hot/salty/hearty/some body/garlicky(bitter). If you add a side salad you also have light/cruncy so the meal covers a wide spectrum of taste and texture. Overall a great meal with minimal effort.

    • Count Potato

      Remind me later, and I’ll put you through gravy school.

      • Mojeaux

        It’s not that deep for me. LOL

      • Count Potato

        Well, if you ever want to know. Feel free to ask.

    • westernsloper

      I am torn between totinos frozen pizza with ham added (Easter!) and pasta with leftover sauce from the lasagna that needs to be eaten or chucked.

      • SP

        That’s what freezers are for.

        Also, Idea of Pizza (IOP) is always better than no pizza at all. And if there is pineapple on it, then it’s not even IOP.

      • westernsloper

        I have a weakness for Totinos frozen pizzas. Absolutely no nutritional value and endless empty carbs but throw on a bit of provolone and maybe some ham and they are delicious. Add a side of Kraft mac and cheese and it is a broke ski bum trip down memory lane. If I smoked some weed and put on the Dire Straights I might never come back.

      • Mojeaux

        weakness for Totinos frozen pizzas

        Me too!

    • Mojeaux

      I also didn’t get my ham glaze to caramelize.

      • straffinrun

        Me neither. Wife took a shower.

      • RAHeinlein

        Ubiquitous use of water as a plasticizer.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        The truly bad funny part is that I can both see and hear you saying this.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, yeah, now that everybody knows how I talk! ?

    • LemonGrenade

      I normally do something fancy/extravagant on Easter dinner, but this year, was just a chicken and cream pasta. I don’t cook *every* night, but probably five nights a week, over any given week, I do. I finish up with work, head into the kitchen, turn up the music offensively loud, and rock out while I put together the evening meal. It’s a way for me to unwind after spending all day in front of a computer.

      • Mojeaux

        Sometimes I crank the music in my ears and clean my kitchen for a little catharsis.

      • LemonGrenade

        I also turn up the music offensively loud when I’m cleaning, too. Hey, if I’m playing Cinderella, the rest of the family can suffer my taste in music if they don’t want to help. I just like offensively loud music.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, heh. For me it’s Bruno Mars, Robin Thicke, Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake, and Tuxedo. Dance/funk for me to clean and walk to.

        Or else Angel and the Mambokats. (Disclaimer: Angel is a personal friend, but we became friends after I fangirled at just the right moment. He’s trying to get me to market on Instagram. I don’t even know how you’d market books on Instagram.)

      • LemonGrenade

        If you’re confessing to Robin Thicke and Bruno Mars, I’ll admit to Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and My Chemical Romance mixed into regular rotation, along with Eels, Rev Horton Heat, Gomez, and Danny Morris Band (a former local I used to fangirl over, myself).

      • Mojeaux

        Robin Thicke, like Miracle Whip, has his place and uses.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder
      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        The woman I co-supervised with at my last agency, has GYPSYRD as her license plate.

        Yeah.

    • Lady Z

      I made Tulip’s chili for Easter dinner. Takes a while but well worth it.

      • Tulip

        I’m glad you liked it!

      • Lady Z

        Thanks for posting it!

  15. Hyperion

    So, strange Easter. I spent part of the afternoon taking pictures of wifey petting the 3D Google Easter Bunny in the living room.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Hot.

    • AlmightyJB

      3D Google Easter Bunny is a long name for your Wang but whatevs.

    • pistoffnick

      Does your wife like photographs?
      wink* wink*

    • Q Continuum

      I hate them all.

      And that guy definitely started taking steroids.

    • DEG

      I want to like #1, but there is something not quite right there.

      I’ll just take #19 and #26.

  16. J. Frank Parnell

    Latest commie cough stats for my county: “more than” 1200 cases, 18 deaths out of a population of around 3.1 million.

    Guess I’d better stay inside.

    • UnCivilServant

      Fake news, the dog wasn’t shot.

      • UnCivilServant

        How are the cops not dead?

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s only a matter of time.

      • Rhywun

        #shelterinyourowntown

        Yuk yuk.

        #gofuckyourself

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        THEY VIOLATED GUIDELINES?!?

        Ho Lee Fuck–How are we ever gonna society again when guidelines are violated at will???

    • Gustave Lytton

      Wearing clean underwear is a good idea. Requiring it at the point of threat of lethal force is just insane.

    • Translucent Chum

      Nice. There is an espresso KBS release. My local has it, but I haven’t pulled the trigger for the $35 growler.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      “That was one thing he was proud of!”

      Wow, no kidding?

    • UnCivilServant

      There should be some “Downsizing” within the Tazmanian police for expending that helicopter fuel.

      • Jarflax

        Especially at a time when so many socialists need rides.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Ding f’ing ding!

    • Count Potato

      He never said the virus was a hoax either.

  17. Hyperion

    You might find this interesting. It’s in Portuguese, but you can do CC in English.

    Wuhan Flu Documentary

  18. UnCivilServant

    Why am I freeting so much over the exact phrasing of the wording of these evaluation narratives on this probation report?

    • UnCivilServant

      Also, why the fuck is the first probation report due a mere three pay periods after an employee starts?

      • UnCivilServant

        And I don’t know what the expected learning curve is for training people in the work we do. I’ve been at it for twelve years, and it’s only ever been people leaving.

        … oh, and I’m still far from an expert on the stuff we do. I’m just the most knowledgable person we’ve got for some of it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Okay, I got 8 out of 9 narratives filled in. “Other” is still blank, but I can leave that for tomorrow.

  19. westernsloper

    Just think. This is now illegal. And will probably remain so for who knows how long.

    • Rhywun

      You could make a drinking game out of turning on the television and spotting everything that’s “illegal” now.

      • westernsloper

        I would play that.

      • Plinker762

        That is a sure way to die of alcohol poisoning.

      • Suthenboy

        And that is just counting the crimes govt at all levels are committing.

  20. Tulip

    Finally made garlic tart again. Mmm. Excellent Easter dinner.

    • SP

      I should have made that!

      • Tulip

        I used 2T balsamic vinegar instead of 1tsp. Much better.

  21. Drake

    I kind of like where Westworld is going this season.

    • Count Potato

      I loved the movie, but couldn’t get into the HBO show.

  22. wchipperdove

    Kentucky: Church parking lot packed with people in their cars who listen to the sermon played over an outdoor speaker. Cops take their license plate numbers, leave a pamphlet telling them they might be quarantined by their local health dept. Mind you, this is after volunteers cleared the parking lot entrances of nails before the service began; who put the nails there, the cops or random vandals, I don’t know.

    Here’s another account of the story.

    If nobody sees this tonight, I’ll repost it early tomorrow.

    • leon

      The world has gone insane. Oppression is the respite of the retarded tyrant

    • Count Potato

      “volunteers cleared the parking lot entrances of nails”

      WTF??

    • westernsloper

      Jesus, (Drink!) the comments are terrifying on the first article. Way too many Karen’s these days.

      • cyto

        That’s exactly what it is….. people very quickly morphed from “that’s an over-reaction” into “if I can’t go to my girl’s night out, you can’t do (insert thing someone else wants to do)” This, regardless of any connection to spreading the virus.

        It is Karen’s world now.

  23. Plinker762

    kinnath was asking about scopes on a Mini-14. Here is quick shot of two mounted scopes similar to some of the ones discussed on the last thread. I like both of them.

    Scopes

    • kinnath

      Thanks for the photo

      • Plinker762

        Of course it is hard to go wrong with a basic 4 power for a start.

      • kinnath

        Are those the factory scope rings on the mini-14? Is there enough clearance for a 50mm objective lense?

      • Plinker762

        I got the Mini used. There are no markings on the rings so I’m not sure if they are factory. They are for the Ruger in that they have the half moon tab for the slot in the mounts. I don’t think 50mm would fit with these because of the bump in the handguard. I don’t have my calipers at home so I can’t measure the height of the rings. There should be different height rings available.

      • kinnath

        thanks

  24. mikey

    “It’s true even if you don’t become bear food. Have you ever been to Bozeman?”

    Picture from my bike ride today. Bozeman’s about 50 miles in the distance
    I’m thankful to our govenor that he “allows” me to do this.

    https://imgur.com/a/Suy8nKl

    I always have my can of bear spray with me.

    • UnCivilServant

      Is the town in frame? Before I play where’s Bozeman, I want to know if it’s futile.

      • mikey

        In the frame, but not a single pixel belongs to Bozeman. HIdden behind the mountains.

      • Jarflax

        Montana between Billings and Butte.

    • SP

      We can’t wait until we can move back to Montana. *sigh*

    • Count Potato

      I don’t agree.

      • leon

        Did you watch the video you dirty commie?

      • UnCivilServant

        A youtube link from glibs?

        No.

    • Suthenboy

      *Pats mini-14, Winchester pump, Marlin 60, Ruger 10-22, and Saiga-12*

      Ok then.

      • Tejicano

        One PIA point about the AR – if you get the bolt carrier jammed to the rear any more than a millimeter you can’t break the rifle down to clean it.

        During the field exercise at Army NCO school one fellow student came to me with his AR jammed just like that. As I am intimately familiar with this rifle I was able to get it cleared and opened with a multi tool in the dark. But if this had happened under fire he would have been SOL. The AR is definitely more accurate than the AK but robust it ain’t.

    • Plinker762

      The first comment: “4chan is a notorious North Korean hacker, his name is Chan Chan Chan Chan, aka, 4chan”

      • dontreadonme

        LOL

    • leon

      The amount of “scientists” saying the ‘VID is a punishment for our climate sins is telling. Makes you think about the 97% consensus

    • Rhywun

      OFFS!

  25. LemonGrenade

    Happy Easter, everyone. This year, I was blessed with my children admitting to me that they knew mom and dad were the Easter Bunny, and they just wanted the candy, they didn’t need the extra trappings. Given the madness of the previous month and a half, and that ‘school’ is supposed to resume in some format on Tuesday, we were very happy to oblige.

    • DEG

      Happy Easter!

      • westernsloper

        What DEG said!

    • Count Potato

      Happy Easter!

    • Mojeaux

      Happy Easter, LG!

      My kids still want me to hide their baskets. They don’t really care about the candy. They like the hunt.

      • LemonGrenade

        This was the first year we didn’t stay up late, and my husband didn’t get up stupid early to go all around the yard and hide all the eggs. I feel a bit sad at the end of a tradition – watching the kids find all the eggs, with us teasing them when they missed obvious ones, and then watching the two of them negotiate over the eggs and make trades. On the other hand, this was the first year I got to sleep in on Easter Sunday since my kids were born.

      • hayeksplosives

        Did you skip the eggs because of covid, or because the kids grew out of it?

        My mom never quit making us epic Christmas stockings until the day we moved out. Glad she did.

      • Mojeaux

        I made our Christmas stockings when XX was a baby. I thought I would be cute and make them oversized.

        #protip Don’t do that. You spend a fortune filling them up (even if it IS just candy) and they still look sad and neglected. Talk about pointless art.

      • Tejicano

        My 11 year old is wavering but still believes in Santa Claus. He isn’t sure how it works but still sees too much evidence proving his existence. My 9 year old is still convinced.

      • creech

        Age isn’t a factor. Look how many Democrats believe in Santa even when they are in their 70s.

      • one true athena

        Be careful with your purchase history on Amazon, that’s what gave it away to my kid. Well, that and my darling spouse’s Very Weak explanation for why the “previously purchased” category included Santa’s gift. I think he tried to float that Santa gets his stuff from amazon, too. Something like that, which made NO sense and was obviously a frantic coverup. One of those moments where you make frantic eyes at them to stop talking and they don’t. LOL

    • Plinker762

      Looks like one would have to do a lot of training with it.

      • AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I’ll stick with my 870 until I can afford an M4.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        I’ve had multiple chances to get a Kel-Tec KSG. Haven’t jumped at the chance, so far. Sure hoping I won’t need it any time soon.

      • dontreadonme

        I wanted aTS12 for the last year or so, but am concerned about the unique operation so am thinking about gouging with this instead: not a shotgun

      • dontreadonme

        seems to have misfeed issues?

      • Plinker762

        That video has been all I’ve ever seen of it. Definitely looks home brew. Appears to be a modified or copied 1919 LH sideplate and a M16 lower. I can imagine trying to feed square nosed and rimmed 12ga would be a bitch. Could be belt pitch issues.

  26. westernsloper

    I present the anti Q song.

  27. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    So, I never talk about movies.

    The spousal unit and I just finished watching “Bad Times at the El Royale.” Very odd. Highly recommended. Jeff Bridges, as usual, knocks it out of the park, but everyone else ain’t exactly slackin’ off, either. Great cast. Pour yourself a stiff one — you’ll need it for the last ten minutes of the flick.

  28. Unreconstructed

    Picked up the Tarnished Sterling omnibus yesterday. Just finished reading the first short story (Omnirunner). UCS claims to not be libertarian, but I’m slightly skeptical after that story.

    • straffinrun

      UCS doesn’t claim to be libertarian.

      • leon

        No, UCS Makes claims that he doesn’t belong in the category of libertarian.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Lacks libertarian gloves?

      • straffinrun

        ? “I’m not a libertarian.” That’s what I remember him saying.

      • leon

        I was making a joke because Unreconstructed said USC claims to not be libertarian.

      • Mojeaux

        Unreconstructed said, “UCS claims to not be libertarian”

        You’re all saying the same thing.

      • westernsloper

        Then none of them are libertarian. They never say the same thing.

      • Mojeaux

        Put 10 libertarians in a room. What do you get?

        11 opinions and a fist fight.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m a fiscal and social conservative.

      There some overlap, and some differences.

      With regards to Omnirunner, bear a few things in mind – The unreliable narrator is a professional thief, so he’s going to take a dim view of the authorities. Also, having the cops be as criminal as the rest of the cast allowed for a more interesting story with no one going ‘why did no one go to the police?’ There are no good guys in that story, which makes it as close to a noir tale as I’ve written. But Dan is the one telling the tale, so he’s going to paint himself in a more positive light.

      I’ve also been slowly working to extend the events after the end to a longer format.

      • UnCivilServant

        DeVille’s Dance kept food on the table, even if it was ramen some nights. It just didn’t make enough to pay off the Community Fund before they came knocking. Well, not literally knocking, just a polite form letter telling me to check my secure messages. I hadn’t done any actual hero work since I’d gone solo. That was the whole point of prepaying my dues. At least they provided the transportation to Spring City. Ah, Spring City – glitz, glamor, welfare queens, and illegal immigrants. Like an old prostitute who’s convinced herself that a few more layers of makeup will hide the signs of age and disease, the city engaged in grand projects while the rot continued. A half-finished train to nowhere failed to connect the airport to any place in the city a visitor wanted to go. Instead I ended up with a surly cab driver with overblown rates to deliver me to my hotel.

        – Dan Fullbright, Omnirunner, Tape 2, Side 1Guess what state Spring City is in

      • UnCivilServant

        Dammit, blockquote fail.

    • leon

      With such insights as:

      About half of the differences in income across people worldwide is explained by their country of residence and by the income distribution within that country,
      Scientific impact is randomly distributed, with high productivity alone having a limited effect on the likelihood of high-impact work in a scientific career,
      The chance of becoming a CEO is influenced by your name or month of birth,
      The number of CEOs born in June and July is much smaller than the number of CEOs born in other months,

      • Plinker762

        It’s science!!!

        Amazing, it is easier to be successful when the government doesn’t steal all of the fruits of you labor.

      • hayeksplosives

        Wait—this guy is effectively saying is that your horoscope influences your odds of becoming CEO.

        And they call them “scientists”

        Right.

      • westernsloper

        I was born in June and I am not a CEO so it checks out.

    • Suthenboy

      So that is SciAm today.

      Get the ropes.

  29. Gustave Lytton

    Stupidly I didn’t jump on the clippers until they were sold out. I knew they were going to be in demand but got sidetracked by other things. Dammit. I hate long hair. The beard trimmer doesn’t have a long enough guard to work unless I go short buzz. Might have to do it if things continue.

    • Mojeaux

      I can’t stand having long fingernails. I type a lot. I grew up playing piano. Also, they just aren’t anything to write home about when they’re long.

      One day, I’m at work and I can’t type because my fingernails are too long. I have no fingernail clippers. Things are getting dire. I’m not working until I get my fingernails off.

      Out come the big-ass office scissors. Yes. Yes, I really did. Every woman in that office gaped at me.

    • westernsloper

      I have a black market hair cut lined up tomorrow. I look like a homeless guy.

    • l0b0t

      Don’t cheap out. Get the Oster 76. They are around $125 but will, quite literally, last a lifetime. They’re the industry standard and have a wide variety of aftermarket accessories. I made decent booze money as a barracks barber in Army and have been cutting my own hair for decades. I often regret not pursuing it as a career, particularly after working with so many stylists on TV commercial shoots, It’s a good gig.

      • Rhywun

        Don’t cheap out.

        Can confirm. I have a considerably cheaper Wahl (I think it was around 75 bucks) but it’s more powerful than all the cheap ones I used to buy, and it doesn’t try to rip your hair out either.

      • l0b0t

        Oh yeah, the horrible ripping from those $20 Conairs. Ouch!

      • l0b0t

        THANK YOU! I also LOVE Hee Haw. It was groundbreaking when it came to TV production and non-linear shooting schedules. It changed the way many shows are made.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Southern humor made by a bunch of Canadians. Full of many talented people. I used to watch it intermittently when I was wee.

        I, of course, appreciate it much more as I age.

      • l0b0t

        IIRC, Hank Jr. was 19 in this clip. I love this speedy arrangement of Midnight Special

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Huh! That is quite good, and unexpected.

        Kudos.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Have a Oster Fast Feed and a higher end Wahl on my watchlist. I was looking at the 76 but it doesn’t appear to come with any guide combs or blades larger than 1. I just need a 2 and 4 and I’m set. And really it’s just for now so doesn’t have to last forever. I did more than one high and tight back in the day with this guy. Frankly it was a better trimmer than anyone I’ve had since and was better made too.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        I can’t add anything to these recos, other than to say I love it when the glibs offer theirs (eww). This is all good info for future purchasing, and thank all of you.

  30. westernsloper

    I think this should become the theme song for Covid 2020.

    • Rhywun

      This comes to mind. (NSFW)

      • westernsloper

        lol……how about this

      • Rhywun

        Heh, that’s catchy.

    • Hyperion

      Fuck it. This is my Cov19 song.

      Give you the axe

      Looking at you, Pooh Bear.

  31. Hyperion

    I really cannot stand this shit. I want to talk to women online, but my wife said she’ll get pissed.

    Fuck, this is really not any fun.

    • Lady Z

      Good thing there are no women here.

      • Hyperion

        “Good thing there are no women here.”

        Your words, not mine.

    • Rhywun

      Tolkien would like a word.

      • Mojeaux

        OTHER THAN Tolkien. Lots of people do this. I didn’t know. So cool.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’ve been a conlang-er for decades.

        You want to hear about Shamki?

      • Mojeaux

        Absolutely.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        In a nutshell, morphologically it’s similar to Afroasiatic languages with inflection of triconsonantal roots. Phonologically, there are a lot of ejectives and emphatics, but few labials. Because the culture of humanoid lizards who speak it revolves around trade and commerce, Shamki verbs have 7 to 8 levels of evidentiality. There are four genders (masculine, feminine, neuter, and divine).

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        That’s, like, what–$50, $75 whore-level talkin’?

      • Rhywun

        SHUT UP, NERDTARD!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        That’s at least worth 0.375 bitcoin.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        0.375 bitcoin

        Duly noted–I’ll get an orphan or 3 started on the mining.

      • Rhywun

        Yeap, I know. A lot of them do it to accompany the languages they make up.

      • Rhywun

        Or, what HM said while my internet was down. ?

    • CPRM

      How To Make Everything has been doing a kind of ‘experimental archaeology’ thing where they’re working their way from the stone age to the modern world, and thus created a new alphabet.

      • CPRM

        Oops, here’s the link.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Anyone ever figure out Predator hash-marks?

    • straffinrun

      Businesses can receive the subsidy if they keep their employees by paying them leave allowances instead of firing them.

      Fascist For Facials.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yen bukake?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        A whole new take on ‘making it rain’.

        OK–maybe not that new.

  32. CPRM

    Broke quarantine to have Easter dinner with my little brother; I tried to avoid anything politics (other than showing him my hat!) but did over hear his proggy wife and her proggy brother let slip a few complaints about the shit show (his wife even kind of suggested in a round about way that the second amendment might come into play to stop this).

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      They could spend time over at the TMZ comments–that’ll get ’em feelin’ all proggy again.

      • CPRM

        TMZ has comments?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        In a generous defining of the word, yes.

    • straffinrun

      Suicide?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        I do not think the situation is funny, regardless of cause. That said, my mind is keyed to remember this: https://youtu.be/IQRiMQwMOsI?t=80

      • straffinrun

        Honestly though, sounds like suicide unless that is considered “foul play”.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        considered “foul play”

        I would think so, but, who knows what the military wants to conceal in these instances?

      • Tejicano

        Could be either suicide or DCD (David Carradine’s Disease)

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        That is an interesting theory. Sad, but, interesting.

    • CPRM

      Oakley’s death is under investigation by the U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Command.

      USACIC, coming thing fall to CBS!

      • straffinrun

        Goth chick lab genius will solve the case. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Will not watch. I mean, unless CBS want to go full-on hardcore porn channel, in an attempt to get the drop on Fox

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      You know who else was caught by surprise with mentions of mental disability?

      • CPRM

        I really was going to say Corky from Life Goes On before I clicked the link…but now it would just sound like I was stealing the joke from that GIF.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Soviet dissidents?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Actually, not bad, Gustave.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      BTW, straff–I have no idea if this will translate into normal people-speak, so bear with me: You are one of the people I have “met”, that I do NOT want to see get mad.

      By that, I mean there are certain people who have a pleasant demeanor in most settings. Then, you witness something (i.e frustration with the Wuhan Woe responses by governments), and you realize that, if you ever see them unleash their full wrath, you might as well stare at a nuclear explosion. So, I guess I’m suggesting you might be able to kill with intense radiation and a shockwave.

      • straffinrun

        I’m pretty mellow for the most part. I belch out my anger so it doesn’t percolate and blast out my ass.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Story does, indeed, check out.

      • straffinrun

        That wafer thin layer of civility capping a magma chamber of liquid anger is how I’ve always seen Jordan Peterson.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        He’s got the vocabulary/verbosity to make it a “thundering velvet hand” (to quote Dan Fogelberg).

      • Tejicano

        Yeah, I’m pretty low key in general. But I was thinking about a definition of “love” offered here – and my way of expressing it…. If somebody every made a move towards harm to one of my kids what happens next would make an Aztec queasy.

      • straffinrun

        TJ, you seem to be a go-with-the-flow guy until …

        My way of thinking, too. Kind of a waste because we could funnel that anger towards a communist revolution. *shrugs*

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        go-with-the-flow…go-with-the-flow

        #RedWings?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        OK, dammit–that was supposed to be:

        go-with-the-flow…communist revolution

        I’ve finally figured out that there is a problem with this workstation computer AND the mouse’s right-button

        Yeah–It’s a Poor Workman Who Blames His Tools ::shrug::

  33. straffinrun

    Made it 5 episodes into Game of Thrones. Why was it popular? Game of Predictablilities.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      #TitsAndDragons

      /I admit that I like the series.For the most part

      • straffinrun

        Alright. I’ll finish season one. So far it’s “blondes are evil”. I could watch Harry Potter if I wanted to see that.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Oh, I’m not pushing it as a way to pass time, or anything. Much like with beer, I’m rather easy to please in my viewing habits, so, I usually don’t expect anyone to take my advice with anything other than a grain of salt.

    • Tejicano

      It had its moments. But as I’m probably one of the few people you know who has hot forged his own broadsword you can imagine the weaponry alone (except for the scene where they poured a sword from molten metal – bleach) had a bit of pull for me.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Looked silly and cod-Welsh to me.

    • Festus

      The Khalleesi is fine as hell and the Red Woman is just as hot. Patience, my Son…

  34. l0b0t

    Soon-To-B-Ex Wifey made some roasted Brussels sprouts with a cheese/shallot/garlic/breadcrumb topping (it was very yummy). I made a prime rib. All of my local store were out of fresh tarragon so I had to use dried, but I splurged and used champagne and a lemon-champagne vinegar and the Bearnaise came out most excellent. At STBEW’s request, I made Yorkshire puddings. I guess her latest stab at no-carb is over (and she’s being suspiciously nice to me).

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      That went from ‘yum’, to ‘damn’ very quickly. You don’t know what you got, ’til he makes you a Yorkshire pudding.

      Keep on keepin’ on. Or, Keep on Truckin’.

    • straffinrun

      You know already, but you still better keep your guard up. You never know what women in that position are really up to.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Damn skippy. Maintain yellow alert.

    • Festus

      Dude. I don’t know how you haven’t borrowed a pair of UCS’ “Strangling Gloves” by now.

  35. Tejicano

    I had to step out to the local super market to pick up some things. When I got back, checked the mail, and I got the rejection for my concealed carry application from Florida. The MP’s at the Air Force base where I did my fingerprints didn’t follow the instructions and left out a couple details. I should have noticed that. Bleahhh…

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      didn’t follow the instructions

      Of course. Sorry, man.

      • Tejicano

        Yeah, they told me what to do to get it corrected – but with the world shut down for the foreseeable future I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to do it.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Your papers are not in ordnung.

  36. Festus

    So I worked last night at double-time and a half. Easy! Barely an inconvenience! Cleaning up after one shift is basically nothing so Yay, me? Wifey has been going nutso with the Yellow Peril and now wants to reinstitute the gardens again. It’s not a huge area (maybe 50×20) but I just pulled all the fencing and posts not three years ago. It was my hope that we’d till, level and plant lawn. Somebody is bored…

    • Festus

      The ash tree that I planted in 1999 is dying and needs cutting down. That’s where all the feeders live. It’s about 35′ tall now but growing no taller. When I planted him he was shorter than me. Bitchy neighbor is going to complain about the retaining wall again this year. My truck needs a brake job and a tune up, kittehs are getting long in the tooth and everything is coming up Festus. I’m not dead of the plague, yet. So that’s something.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not really sure I have any advice.

      • Festus

        I sold my chainsaw years ago to a kid that needed it. Have to see if I can rent one. Can’t borrow because I am a Glib and don’t have IRL friends.

      • Lackadaisical

        be careful. I ‘borrowed’ one from my neighbor (he insisted) and the chain was looser than a tijuana whore after the donkey show.

      • Festus

        No worries. I ran saws for 15 years. I’m rusty but competent. The only way that I’d get hurt is by being stupid. Hey, wait!

      • Lackadaisical

        Number one cause of injuries for sure.

      • Festus

        *still owns chaps* Ass-less chaps. even.

      • Gender Traitor

        The tulip tree in our front yard, which was full-grown when we bought the place 15 years ago, is dying and will have to come down soon. I’ll miss it terribly – I love its blooms. : (

        I think it was Suthenboy who told me tulip trees grow quickly, so I hope we can plant another elsewhere in the yard…as soon as “non-essential” purchases are no longer verboten. ::grumbles::

      • Lackadaisical

        I have 2 tulip trees I got for free from a mail order place. maybe check that out. wouldn’t want to plant in summer.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks. When is the best planting time?

      • Festus

        Early Spring according to wikidumbia.

      • Lackadaisical

        ^this.

        Now is the right time, if you’re relatively northerly. Michigan?

        Only a few states have said growing food is nonessential.

      • Festus

        Nice blooms! I might get a little misty when the Ash comes down. The hazel-nuts are thriving. I really meant for that tree to be there long after I’m gone. Sucks. I’d like a to plant a silver birch in his stead but that’s right where the water and gas lines are and I’ve heard bad stories about roots.

      • Lackadaisical

        Your lines or someone else’s? 😉

        Also, whats wrong with the retaining wall?

      • Festus

        Our lines and neighbor is being a cunte about the wall ever since her hubby ( my occasional Drinkin’ Buddy) passed away some time ago. Someone used railway ties about 45 years ago that are failing. I replaced about half of it five years ago but now she’s bitching again. I never built that.

      • Lackadaisical

        45 years isn’t too bad. Why does she care? How tall is it?

      • Festus

        Roughly 5′. I was hoping to tear the wall out and just let it slope. I could use the fill on the East side of the property. Fucking bored women. Have you ever moved water-logged railway timbers?

  37. Sean

    So, I won the Gunbroker auction for a 10mm. ?

    Good morning.

    • UnCivilServant

      Were there other bidders?

      • Sean

        Yes. It ran up to the max I was willing to go to.

    • Festus

      Hope it came with some tasty steaks!

    • Tejicano

      So, what was the brand/model?

      • Lackadaisical

        hi-point. 😛

      • Sean

        Sig 1911. The selling FFL is local to me and knows me. I hope to have it today or tomorrow.

        Saving on shipping is nice too.

      • Tejicano

        Ha! Sounds like a great piece! 1911’s are great and the 10mm is an underappreciated round.

        Ya dun gud!

      • Tejicano

        Oh, and you can’t beat a Sig. Great guns all around.

  38. Lackadaisical

    Today is my day off, as usual it is raining, but its actually rather clement, about 60 degrees out.

    Maybe do some gardening? Have to watch the 2-year-old also…

    • Festus

      Stake in the ground and a lead.

      • Lackadaisical

        Heh.

        If I’m outside with him he’s usually pretty self sufficient, except that he might want to ‘help’ me garden…

      • Festus

        “A worm a day keeps the Corona away!”