Friday Morning Links

by | Apr 17, 2020 | Daily Links | 502 comments

Good morning my Glibs and Gliberinas!  And what a beautiful morning it is as Trump unveiled guidelines for reopening the country.  The guidelines are set in three different stages and the final decision will be left to governors and can be instituted state or county wide.

 

Sports will return, and it needs to soon.  Sloopy is getting so desperate that he is willing to watch women’s soccer at this point.

 

Trump starts a No Mitts Club.

 

The small business rescue loans program runs out of money after Pelosi blocks efforts to replenish it.

 

FBI repeatedly warned that Steele dossier fed by Russian misinformation.

 

Actors are stupid.

 

That’s all I got for today.  I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.

About The Author

Banjos

Banjos

Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.

502 Comments

  1. Animal

    Federalism – who’da thunk it?

    • Festus

      Smart shoppers buy orphans now.

    • bacon-magic

      TOTAL CONTROL

  2. Pat

    Actors are stupid.

    Or are we the stupid ones for listening to their inanity as if it were important?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Coke-addled child actors are my preferred resource for deep thinking.

      • Fourscore

        Stupidity is not discriminatory.

      • Fourscore

        Must have ran out of Trump bux before they could find Chez Fourscore. Oh well, check the mail box again today.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If you receive a physical check and not direct deposit it may take a while.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Go on the IRS site and make sure everything is okay.

        Despite me doing direct deposit every single year, they didn’t have my account on file.

      • Swiss Servator

        “Payment Information Not Available”…. *sigh*

      • Translucent Chum

        Same. I went and created an account to see if that spurs things along.

      • Jarflax

        I have been pointing out to every lefty I talk to that the same Government they want to control day to day aspects of our life is taking a minimum of weeks and up to several months to send a predetermined amount of money to payment addresses they have on file through a system that is already in place and specifically designed to send and receive payments to and from the same people they are supposed to send the predetermined amount. I’d wager any of the IT people here could write a routine to send the payments in an hour.

      • Shirley Knott

        I’d wager not, given the antiquated, stove-piped, disjoint systems the IRS has in place. How many times have they simply abandoned efforts to upgrade and unify their systems? I’m pretty sure I remember 3.

      • DrOtto

        It’s been awhile since I’ve been there, but the SSA web site used to have business hours. The site itself wasn’t functional outside of those hours.

      • AlexinCT

        I have done something just like that Jarlflax when they tell me how horrible the fed gov has been doing, and pointed out that this is what healthcare will look like when government controls it totally like they want it. I had some honest ones tell me if orange man is replaced with a donkey this all magically gets fixed, and their point stands. Logic or facts don’t matter much to these asshats.

    • PieInTheSky

      Who is this we?

      • Shirley Knott

        Them, over there.

    • Ted S.

      Drew Barrymore needs to go back to flashing David Letterman.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Probably would not be as good as it was back then.

  3. Not Adahn

    NPR this morning made two very specific points:

    1 – Trump has no authority to “re-open the economy.” That power belongs to governors
    2 – Trump is completely responsible for doing all the work to re-open the economy. It is utterly ludicrous for the governors to implement testing plans or the like.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But what does that have to do with non-binary Latinx furries of color?

      • Swiss Servator

        They are hardest hit, of course.

      • Festus

        NAP. I don’t hit them, I just point and laugh. Same difference.

    • Lackadaisical

      2 – Trump is completely responsible for doing all the work to re-open the economy. It is utterly ludicrous for the governors to implement testing plans or the like.

      This is what keeps getting me. Clearly they got a memo from dem govs, they’re all powerful, but need big daddy fed gov to somehow develop testing or purchase it for the states? they want cash money/free shit or else the economy gets it. Also, we won’t go back to ‘normal’ unless we have a vaccine- which may never happen (e.g. how flu doesn’t have a real vaccine).

      • invisible finger

        Basically the governors are kidnapping the economy and expect shitloads of ransom money.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You can’t tell me that IL, CA and other states aren’t looking at this as an opportunity to save their asses from their pension hell holes.

      • AlmightyJB

        Oh yeah, we’ll be bailing those pensions out.

      • Fourscore

        Must be a lot o’ checks left in the old check book ’cause there ain’t no money in the account.

      • invisible finger

        Isn’t the Fed buying all their junk bonds now? A bailout by another name. And it STILL doesn’t satisfy them. They are faster-spreading parasites than coronavirus.

      • Rhywun

        ding ding ding

      • AlexinCT

        I am waiting for the lawsuits.. Of course, these people don’t give a shit. Their taxpayers will foot the bills, and worse, when their state crashes they will demand the fed tax payers save them. Despicable people.

      • Rhywun

        Thus the increasingly frequent “women, minorities hardest hit” articles.

      • Festus

        “A cure for the common cold” has been an axiom since my Grandparents were children. This has spiraled out of control right from the start. There are no smart moves anymore except to let the Yellow Peril run its course.

  4. Pat

    FBI repeatedly warned that Steele dossier fed by Russian misinformation.

    “Things anyone with a room temperature IQ or above knew 3 years ago” for 800. I don’t find the shit they pulled the least bit surprising, but I do it find it somewhat surprising how brazen they were and how few steps they took to cover it up or conceal it.

    • Festus

      It will be the lack of consequences that really burns my biscuits. Nothing will come of this. Nothing.

      • R C Dean

        I agree. Barr and Durham already have more than enough to start putting people in jail. Hell, one lawyer actually altered an email to make it support a FISA application and nothing has happened.

        The fix is in. It’s always been in. We’re just being played for fools.

      • Sensei

        I like to kid my attorney friends at this point – what are the odds you can even so much as get this lawyer disbarred?

      • RBS

        It happens. The people who get disbarred in SC either steal money from clients or don’t cooperate with ODC. Although at this point it seems like not cooperating with ODC is the quickest route to getting disbarred.

      • Sensei

        Yeah – aside from the obvious things like felony convictions the quickest route to disbarment is shenanigans with attorney trust accounts.

      • Jarflax

        Forging evidence is a pretty big no no.

      • Florida Man

        I agree with your pessimism. COVID showed the constitution is a dead letter. No name mayors are making laws up on the fly with jail time and fines with no input from the legislative or judicial branch and absolutely no push back from the media or public at large.

    • Banjos

      Mornin’

  5. Rebel Scum

    so desperate that he is willing to watch women’s soccer at this point.

    Women’s soccer has its benefits.

    • robc

      Women’s soccer is for people who really enjoy watching high quality boys HS soccer.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      At least he isn’t watching old WNBA games.

      • invisible finger

        Those are being looked at by the NBA for when they resume playing behind closed doors.

    • Agent Cooper

      She’s not very good at twerking.

  6. Not Adahn

    Oh, for Trashy:

    I’m not running any mods, was getting and am still getting the 50x errors.

    • Homple

      #metoo

    • Rebel Scum

      For computer games? In my experience always go vanilla and delete scripts when you are done in order to fix glitching/crashes.

    • Pat

      I’ve just accepted that 503 and 504 errors are the new normal in Trump’s America.

      • R C Dean

        It was killing Net Neutrality what done it.

    • Count Potato

      I wonder if it’s just us, or all of WordPress.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m blaming some inept NSA intern for fucking up the script that monitors for doubleplus wrongthink.

      • Not Adahn

        That would explain why it’s not showing up on SP’s end.

      • Count Potato

        That is weird she would be the only one.

      • Translucent Chum

        She’s the Highlander?

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      So, the only way I know to get around the 50X errors is if you have the latest version of Eyepiece. If you turn on the Avoid Page Refresh and Dynamic Comments Refresh features, it allows you to post comments without refreshing the page.

      However, the functionality is a bit weird (the comment doesn’t appear on your screen for up to 2 minutes), and the code is experimental (read: buggy, especially for links), so the cure may be worse than the disease. That said, Eyepiece is Hydrochloroquine to the site’s COVID-50X infection.

      For those interested, follow the instructions here (and click the link in the mobile update section, instead of in the instructions themselves). Also, I generally prefer tampermonkey, even on Firefox. Lemme know if you can’t figure out how to install it.

      • Sean

        so the cure may be worse than the disease

        That’s 2020 in a nutshell.

  7. Count Potato

    “Sloopy is getting so desperate that he is willing to watch women’s soccer at this point.”

    Some of the players are pretty good looking though.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      Yep w soccer> w softball

      I remember someone on my lacrosse team wanted me to do a double date bc he met some girl. The friend was a softball player ?

      • robc

        Softball players fall into 2 categories: Hot and Lesbian. Mostly the latter, but some of the former.

      • Translucent Chum

        My son is dating one right now. She’s going to a D-1 school on scholarship next year and is a doll. Exception to the rule.

      • Festus

        Well I married one! Mind you, she wasn’t that great at Softball. Good hands but couldn’t hit for shit.

      • AlexinCT

        Knows how to handle balls?

      • Florida Man

        I dated a few softball players. The crazy was worth it…for awhile.

      • Festus

        The only time that I’ve been blown off for a girl. I just shrugged it off. We kept playing for the same ball team for about four years. meh.

      • Chipwooder

        Volleyball reigns supreme, though

  8. Festus

    Mornin’ Banjos! Drew Barrymore is vapid and Mitt Romney is the kid that never was invited to the good parties. This entire situation is a bunch of hysterical over-reaction. Our society needs to place a collective paper bag over its face, drop head between knees and calm the fuck down.

    • RAHeinlein

      The “mother Earth” narrative is making the rounds – Brad Smith (Microsoft) was on Squawk this morning talking about biodiversity and how a single insect extinction will dramatically impact all aspects of our lives. Of course, Becky “not so Quick” ate it up – “lack of biodiversity makes it easier for things like Covid-19 to happen”

      To quote Lazarus Long:

      There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who “love Nature” while deploring the “artificialities” with which “Man has spoiled ‘Nature.'” …the “Naturist” reveals his hatred for his own race – i.e. his own self-hatred. In the case of “Naturists” such self-hatred is understandable; they are such a sorry lot. But hatred it too strong an emotion to feel toward them; pity and contempt are the most they rate.

    • Banjos

      Mornin’

  9. Not Adahn

    Local news LOVES to run happy stories about the tax money they get to spend, so it was no surprise that they were all abuzz for the bailout funds going to the Albany airport.

    I couldn’t help but be reminded of hte BOSTON STRONG fiasco when they reported that “all concessions at the airport are closed… except for a Dunkin’ Donuts.”

  10. UnCivilServant

    Sorry to be a copycat, Not Adahn, but in response to the illegal mask order, I ordered my own plague doctor mask. I was thinking of taping a surgical mask to the beak.

    • Not Adahn

      Malicious compliance is the best compliance!

      Also, Homple (I think) just got a new 10/22. Am I remembering correctly that you had a brand of ammo that didn’t run well in yours?

      • UnCivilServant

        Browning BPR was not so great, and I had feed errors with the really cheap stuff I borrowed from you. The CCR standard velocity feeds like a dream.

      • Shirley Knott

        Creedence makes ammo?

      • Lackadaisical

        It was TopNotchToldedo, no?

      • Not Adahn

        Could be. I just remember the adorable avatar.

      • Translucent Chum

        That’s correct.

    • PieInTheSky

      How much did it cost?

      • UnCivilServant

        Less than fifty dollars.

      • Lackadaisical

        This is the route I was going to go, if I can’t find any liberty lovin’ bandanas I like.

      • Rhywun

        Anyone know where I can get a pack of nice bandanas that isn’t the cheap Chinese crap found on Amazon delivering by mid-June…?

      • Count Potato

        It’s ridiculous that people have to wear masks but can’t buy any.

      • Rhywun

        Sean: no delivery to me. 🙁

  11. Nephilium

    In slightly less bad news, looks like Ohio is going to stick with the May 1st date.

    /plans day off for the first day the bars are open

    • Festus

      Turdeau announced that it would be weeks. “Da-da-da-dahhh, He’s loving it!” Fucking worm.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Seriously. Who’s listening to that buffoon?

        Quebec is completely ignoring him. And lemme tell ya, we ain’t happy about his little stunt of coming to Harrington Lake during Easter.

        Quebec has a proud history of telling Ottawa to go fuck themselves and Legault is the guy to do it with Justin.

      • Festus

        We finally need a little back-bone from you guys instead of the whinging. Whoulda thunk?

    • PieInTheSky

      They should bad home brewing as non essential

      • PieInTheSky

        Ban goddamnit stupid phone

      • Nephilium

        As long as I can make it to a grocery store, I can make alcohol. Sugar + yeast = alcohol.

        Besides, even commie Pope agrees that whisk(e)y is the real holy water.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      Oh wow congrats Ohioians. I am worried Roy Cooper is going to extend the EOs into May

  12. invisible finger

    I prefer “completes its task” over “runs out of money”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If by “completes its task” you mean “shells out money for thousands of fraudulent claims”

      • invisible finger

        Certainly something we don’t want to replenish. Pelosi gets one right for the wrong reasons.

      • Banjos

        I disagree. I see this as a form of eminent domain. Loaning money is the least they can do after forcefully shutting down businesses.

      • invisible finger

        If individual states want to shut down businesses, the individual states can provide the loans.

  13. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Freaky Friday: Disco Cronenberg

    • Count Potato

      I think someone got really bored at home.

  14. Rebel Scum

    after Pelosi blocks efforts to replenish it.

    She was mighty pleased with herself. I’m no expert but seems like a bad look, politically speaking.

    • Pat

      Plays well with her psychopathic base, and the mushy middle that isn’t plugged into partisan blogs of the opposite bent will never hear about it.

      • Q Continuum

        Most of the media’s propaganda power comes from what they choose not to report.

      • bacon-magic

        ^^^

    • Pat

      Florida man arrested for murder after release from jail to stem coronavirus spread

      A Florida man released from jail in a bid to curb the spread of coronavirus was arrested on a murder charge just one day later, authorities said.

      Joseph Edward Williams was originally arrested on March 13 for possession of heroin and drug paraphernalia, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office. Less than a week later, he was among more than 100 inmates released from Orient Road Jail in Tampa in an effort to protect staff and the remaining offenders from COVID-19.

      “There is no question Joseph Williams took advantage of this health emergency to commit crimes while he was out of jail awaiting resolution of a low-level, non-violent offense,” Sheriff Chad Chronister said.

      • Pat

        The whole “new posts get posted as a reply to the last post you replied to” thing is annoying.

      • Rebel Scum

        I’d hazard a guess that the murderer was in jail for violent crime in the first place. Releasing violent criminals and imprisoning peaceful religious worshipers is an interesting strategy.

    • Lackadaisical

      Not if the demOp media spin it for her, or more likely, just ignore it.

  15. invisible finger

    Drew Barrymore = the new Jerry Falwell.

    • PieInTheSky

      She is not even hot given the level of dumb

      • Festus

        She was never hot.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Drew Barrymore: Mother Earth Is an Estranged Wife Telling Mankind She’s Unhappy

    She’s banging the interstellar mail man?

    • R C Dean

      If the estranged wife is unhappy, doesn’t that mean she wants to get back together again?

    • Lackadaisical

      +1 meteoroids all over her face

    • Mojeaux

      Mother Earth can take care of her owndamnself.

      She is a righteously vicious bitch.

  17. PieInTheSky

    It is a sunny day here in old Mogosoaia. Almost to sunny i need to move in the shade. But next week the forcast says there might be a frost again.

    • PieInTheSky

      But it is good to get out of the appartment. I like living in the big city as much as the next guy but there is something to be said for quiet, clean air and a large garden

    • Not Adahn

      Snow on the ground here the past three mornings, though apparently we’re below average for April. We’re almost a foot below average for the winter.

      • PieInTheSky

        Here as i said before there was no winter. We could really use some rain though

      • Ted S.

        More snow this evening, too.

    • Nephilium

      Supposed to snow today. By next weekend we may finally have some spring weather.

      • Shirley Knott

        Forecast is for an inch here in Lansing.

      • Festus

        Better move that inch a few times, Shirley!

      • Shirley Knott

        I need more than an inch to be satisfied, but thanks for the offer.
        /runs away giggling

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Is that Cuck Beer?

      • PieInTheSky

        Oh come one that is such a strech

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well at least it’s not a Heineken.

  18. Rhywun

    Sloopy is getting so desperate that he is willing to watch women’s soccer at this point.

    I might even be willing to watch baseball.

    • Shirley Knott

      Couldn’t you just slap paint on a wall and watch it dry?

    • Festus

      I played it competitively for a few years so my mileage differs. I like to watch the dance.

    • Rebel Scum

      I might even be willing to watch baseball.

      This. But, then again, there are other things to do.

    • Don won't Escape College

      Here’s an excellent NYC game

      It’s 1952 Game 7 NYY @ BKN with all the usual suspects, remastered with modern techniques so you get the best of both worlds: original camera-work but direction for modern sensibilities. The call is for the radio, so it’s excellent. It’s clear and much more than acceptable as baseball coverage.

      The other fascinating parts, much of which we know but enjoy seeing, are the cultural and infrastructure insights. Everyone is in a suit (fall in NY, of course), you see the grounds crew doing their handiwork, the manual scoreboard, the meager dugout accommodations.

      I’m carding it out as always: the way I enjoy and savor a game.

      I can’t recommend it enough.

  19. Translucent Chum

    CDC reviewing ‘stunning’ universal testing results from Boston homeless shelter

    Of the 397 people tested, 146 people tested positive. Not a single one had any symptoms. “It was like a double knockout punch. The number of positives was shocking, but the fact that 100 percent of the positives had no symptoms was equally shocking,” said Dr. Jim O’Connell, president of Boston Health Care for the Homeless Program, which provides medical care at the city’s shelters.

    Can we please open the bars back up?

    • PieInTheSky

      Like that george carlin bit swimming in raw sewage strengthens the immune system

    • Pat

      Yes, that’s truly remarkable. It’s not like anybody has been saying that for 2 fucking months or anything.

    • Banjos

      Every time I see an article about how this virus is not just affecting the old, this youngish vibrant person also died, and it’s always a fat ass. Every single time, a ginormous fat ass.

      • Translucent Chum

        And I’m assuming the homeless are not in the best of health. This is such a fiasco, but we’re at the point that no one will make the first move and kill grandma.

      • Festus

        Depends on how much of the inheritance I get and when Wifey is able to go back to full-time.

      • Festus

        Hey!

      • Pat

        Literally 90% of the deaths even among the young have involved a preexisting condition. Which is why the statistical classification of these deaths is already a bit absurd. And even with the benefit of that padding, the models upon which we based the decision to kick start a major economic depression have been revised from 2 million deaths to 60k.

      • Banjos

        I saw someone on the Twitters pull up the NY flu deaths stats and they miraculously went to zero. We’re living in a farce.

      • Rebel Scum

        We’re living in a farce.

        I agree. The virus ain’t a hoax but the response is.

      • robc

        The young are really a tiny, tiny portion of the deaths. Insanely tiny, compared even to the flu.

      • Festus

        Everyone over 50 is doomed! My age bracket is like one in ten catching. I have no fear about this. I’m 55 but I’m active, work hard and have worn the same size of pants for 30 years. This is ginned up paranoia for political ends. The longer they carry on this charade the worse it looks for them.

      • Fourscore

        I wore the same pair of pants for 30 years too, not because I’m the same size, just really cheap. I only pretend to work hard, in fact, I only pretend to work.

      • Shirley Knott

        I’m really into work. I could watch it for hours.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Work is a four letter word.

      • Shirley Knott

        So is ‘play’ 😉

      • robc

        Age COVID FLU -same time frame
        1–4 years 2 26
        5–14 years 1 36
        15–24 years 10 37
        25–34 years 103 116
        35–44 years 247 179
        45–54 years 633 427
        55–64 years 1,509 927
        65–74 years 2,512 1,115
        75–84 years 3,088 1,123
        85 years and over 3,251 1,058
        Total US 11,356 5,055

        In the time frame that 11k people have died from COVID, 5k have died from flu (there is some overlap). But notice the age categories. If you were under 35, you were more likely to die of flu in this time frame.

      • robc

        Is there a wordpress tag to allow better formatted data?

      • Rhywun

        Maybe <pre>?

        1 9
        2 89
        3 789

      • Rhywun

        Nope, it gets swallowed up.

      • Lackadaisical

        Banjos, if you look at the deaths by age group, covid19 is virtually indistinguishable from flu. I think flu deaths are ~85% >60 y/o and with this is ~80% >60 y/o.

        The only difference that I can think of is that flu/pneumonia kills <10 y/os and so far covid-19 has not (to my knowledge) done so.

      • robc

        See the numbers I posted. Flu kills under 35, covid doesnt.

      • Viking1865

        Yep, my favorite was the family in New Jersey. 80 something year old matriarch and her two 50 something sons died of it. The sons look like Tony Soprano and Bobby Baccala. Sorry, got nothing for you, laying off the gabagool and the cannoli would have been a good idea.

    • Count Potato

      I have a feeling these tests are almost worthless — both false negatives, and false positives.

      • invisible finger

        Close enough for government work

    • The Last American Hero

      As Adam Corolla pointed out- if corona was as bad as they say then the homeless should be dying in droves. Like bring out your dead droves.

    • Endless Mike

      I thought maybe this was an “Eleven Blue Men” Scenario at first.

      “The cure was alcohol all along! Closing the bars made it WORSE!”

  20. Rebel Scum

    That’s because they are “guidelines”, Joe.

    Biden said, “I wouldn’t call it a plan, I think what he’s done — he’s kind of punted. He’s decided that he’s not — he doesn’t have the right to make the call for the country. And he talks about phases that, in a generic sense, seem to me, from all I’ve learned and all I’ve listened and my morning briefs from the docs I talk to, is not irrational, but it doesn’t give you any hard guidelines.”

    • invisible finger

      Complaining about having nothing to complain about.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      is not irrational, but it doesn’t give you any hard guidelines

      In other words, we really want Trump to lay down hard and fast rules so we can assign maximum blame.

    • Rhywun

      TRUMP SAID SOMETHING AND I MUST SAY SOMETHING TO COUNTER IT!

    • bacon-magic

      Biden’s supervillain name: Moldfinger.

      • Festus

        His name is “FINGERBANG!” I’ll have you know. Always and forever.

      • bacon-magic

        That’s his street name. #streetcred

      • DrOtto

        Psst…Corn Pop and FINGERBANG! are going to fight in the pool parking lot, pass it on.

      • zwak

        Set to the James Bond theme; BANGFINGER!!

  21. AlmightyJB

    I thought all soccer was women’s soccer.

    • straffinrun

      Grab ankles and scream in pain?

      • Q Continuum

        STEVE SMITH MAKE YOU GRAB ANKLES AND SCREAM IN PAIN

      • Festus

        LOL!

      • Gdragon

        We have today’s winner! Coffee all over my screen now but I don’t mind a bit. Best STEVE SMITH joke in a while.

  22. Translucent Chum

    Hopefully this helps with the posting errors. I hit post comment and immediately post comment again. You get the you already said this error. Hit back and refresh. Much quicker than waiting for the timeout.

    • AlmightyJB

      Yeah, after 2nd post I just close and reopen immediately.

    • Pope Jimbo

      After I hit submit, I just count to Tundra’s IQ, then I click the kill button (the x) and refresh the page.

      Waiting for the timeout is for suckers

      • Lackadaisical

        Pro-tip: You can hit escape key (Firefox) and then do more posting without even reloading the page.

      • AlmightyJB

        I don’t have esc on phone

      • Pope Jimbo

        Jail break your phone and you will have successfully esc on it

      • Lackadaisical

        Posting from your phone is not pro, and thus my pro-tips won’t work with that kind of approach.

        Thats like a guy telling you how to drive a race car and then you complain you only own an automatic… *sigh*

  23. Rebel Scum

    Corona was only the first plague.

    AS THE CORONAVIRUS pandemic exploded across the world earlier this year, another even more conspicuous plague was tearing through East Africa: locusts. The voracious little beasts are particularly fond of carbohydrates like grains, a staple of subsistence farmers across the continent. Back in January, the UN Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) predicted the worst was still to come, and that by June, the size of the swarms could grow by a factor of 500.

    And now, at the worst time, a second wave of locusts 20 times bigger than the first has descended on the region, thanks to heavy rains late last month, according to the FAO. The swarms have infiltrated Yemen and firmly established themselves across the Persian Gulf, having laid eggs along 560 miles of Iran’s coastline. New swarms are particularly severe in Kenya, Ethiopia, and Somalia.

    • Grosspatzer

      Looks like Moses is at it again.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        People: Stop air travel to and from Kenya, Ethiopia and Somalia.
        Justin: That’s racist!
        People:
        Justin: I said…..
        People: We heard you. You seem to have a problem learning. Please follow us.

      • Overt

        Wait…tell me it is a libertarian moses, and governments are the pharaoh?!!!?!!

  24. PieInTheSky

    The company i work for had an all hamds meeting on the interwebs. Among the things mentioned was praise for how well china handeled the china flu. I dont think the corporate retreate from china which some preduct will come to pass

    • robc

      Did you point out how much better Taiwan did?

      • Swiss Servator

        Most Iikely, no. I think Pie likes being employed.

    • Pat

      29 has kind of that late 90s Christina Aguilera vibe.

    • Lackadaisical

      7 is from another planet, and not in a good way.

      • Lackadaisical

        14 has something wrong with her face.

        16 is a guy. So is 17 😛

        18 – solid would

        19 will murder you in your sleep and wear your face as a mask

      • Q Continuum

        Speaking of “wrong with her face”, #10 appears on these lists with some regularity and her face, far from having something wrong with it, appears to be very attractive. However, the expression on her face is always some vague mixture of slightly hostile and vapidly confused. Just smile dammit!

        Her absolutely supernatural rack makes up for a lot though.

      • Lackadaisical

        She doesn’t look bad, and her rack is enormous, but I will have to concur with you that she needs to smile or, even a neutral expression may improve things. She must be high.

  25. Not Adahn

    IDK if that Family Circus was always there and it wasn’t loading for me, or if it’s been edited in, but it’s hilarious.

    Although I imagine it’s completely NOT hilarious for people unfamiliar with The Family Circus.

    • straffinrun

      That’s Family Circus? Always thought it was Family Hydrocephalics.

      • Shirley Knott

        “We told the children to handle discipline amongst themselves.”

      • R C Dean

        I think this caption contest is over.

  26. Pat

    Tucker confronts NJ gov over lockdown measures: ‘I wasn’t thinking of the Bill of Rights when we did this’

    Tucker Carlson pressed Democratic New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy Wednesday on the scientific rationale and constitutional fitness of Murphy’s executive measures in response to the coronavirus pandemic, which have essentially locked down most of the Garden State.[…]

    Host Tucker Carlson drew Murphy’s attention to a widely publicized case in which 15 men were arrested for congregating at an Ocean County synagogue earlier this month, violating Murphy’s ban on large gatherings and his stay-at-home order.

    ‘The Bill of Rights, as you well know, protects Americans’ rights — enshrines their right to practice their religion as they see fit and to congregate together to assemble peacefully,” Carlson said. “By what authority did you nullify the Bill of Rights in issuing this order? How do you have the power to do that?”

    “That’s above my pay grade, Tucker,” Murphy responded. “I wasn’t thinking of the Bill of Rights when we did this … we looked at all the data and the science and it says people have to stay away from each other. That is the best thing we can do to break the back of the curve of this virus, that leads to lower hospitalization and ultimately fatalities.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      NJ Governor Oath of Office

      “I, A.B., elected governor of the State of New Jersey, do solemnly promise and swear, that I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the State of New Jersey, and that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, and to the governments established in the United States and in this state under the authority of the people, and that I will diligently, faithfully, impartially, justly, and to the best of my knowledge and ability, execute the said office in conformity with the powers delegated to me, and that I will to the utmost of my skill and ability, promote the peace and prosperity and maintain the lawful rights of the said state, so help me God.”

      • Grosspatzer

        to the utmost of my skill and ability

        Well, that explains it.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Unless that oath is adhered to and enforced when it isn’t adhered to, which it won’t be, it means less than jack shit.

    • Q Continuum

      I figure not understanding the BoR is probably a prerequisite for being governor of NJ.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      All the ‘science’. Fuck. You.

      It’s the same shtick the assholes up here. ‘We follow the science!’ No you don’t. You let events lead you and you then make sure the science doesn’t get in the way of any identity politics and THEN if it’s safe will you ‘follow the science’ and enforce draconian measures. Very stupid and unwise illiberal people are in charge.

      • Festus

        Hey Rufus! When I was at work tonight the CBC had as their closing story a bit about the U.S> being caught in the worst in one of the the worst “mega droughts” in centuries. Buried in the report was the fact that these have happened four times in the last 1200 years and a little add-on that climate change has exacerbated the problem. I actually hooted. Kill the CBC, it’s already dead.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Tony Heller covers these ‘omissions’ well.

        Seriously. Or at least privatize it. I once made a comment about that in one of their threads years ago and it was ‘removed’ after a bunch of pansies wailed ‘much binding the country coast to coast!’

        Fack off.

      • Lackadaisical

        There is a drought? This has to be one of the wettest years ever here. Seems to rain/snow at least every other day for the past 9 months.

    • Banjos

      Someone should sell him a rock that keeps tigers away.

    • Chipwooder

      Someone, I forget who, made a trenchant point about this – the whole lockdown stuff has been a total bait and switch routine. When it all started last month, what did the proponents hammer away at as the main rationale for lockdowns? “Flattening the curve” so that hospitals and medical personnel weren’t overwhelmed with a massive surge of WuFlu cases all at once.

      And, in fact, hospitals have not been swamped anywhere. Not even in NYC, the prime region for infection, and certainly not in most parts of the country. Now, a logical person would consider this to be a reason to loosen things up now that the conditions that supposedly required such drastic measures have no manifested. Oh, but that doesn’t matter anymore, simpleton! If just one more person gets sick because of WuFlu if restrictions are lifted, it’s the fault of all you monsters!

      Seriously, no one talks about preventing hospitals from being overrun anymore, and it was only a few weeks ago that the subject was THE major covidian talking point.

      • westernsloper

        This point was made on our Governor’s twit thread yesterday when he laid out his criteria for “re-opening” the state. Dude who made it got hit with a, “there will be another surge!…..hurdur durhur….” Goalposts they can be moved.

      • Don won't Escape College

        as long as we get rid of the Hussein guy: he looks scary, so if a couple of the neighborhood kids get shot up chasing him out of my nightmares, it’s really a great bargain

        Remember the Maine!

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Wtf?

      Andrew Davidson
      @ABDinOz
      ·
      1h
      Replying to
      @neiltyson
      I’ll add one that has grinded my gears for 20 years. “Y2k was a con and a waste of time because nothing happened!” (after billions was spent making sure that was the outcome)

      Is that a fact?

      So. I guess the founder of ‘Rationalia’ and his fans has a boner for shut downs.

      Does their line of logic apply?

      • leon

        Y2k was a problem, for some software, and machines. but not the problem that the media was making it out to be to the common folk. the 2038 problem is much more serious, and even that will not be a big problem as mos machines now have a 64bit architecture.

      • robc

        I handled y2k compliance for my company. Our data was fine but we had one (1) machine that didnt handle the change properly. Its clock reset to Jan 1, 1994. We knew this from testing. So on Sunday, Jan 2, I went into the office and turned eveyrthing back on (we just shut down entirely at end of day on the 31st) and reset that one machine’s clock to the proper year.

        Amusingly, our mail server was failing 2-3 times per week in Dec 1999. After Jan 1, it never failed again.

    • Overt

      I have come to realize that these guys are essentially that little kid who hangs out with the bully and starts up all the crap. Except in this case, “Bullies” are the experts who dare not be questioned.

    • leon

      The Nerdy Nixon
      @Krissynix
      ·
      21m
      Replying to
      @neiltyson
      Minnesota is talking about a strike outside the governor’s house today or tomorrow. I’d stay home. Between that and the possible reopening by May 4th and I’m terrified. Can we make America smart again? Now would be a super swell time.

      Some people are too terrified to live in reality.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Being scared = intellectual.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Being afraid = victimized = moral high ground = power

    • Rebel Scum

      This chick gets it.


      Joan M. Cullen
      @JoanieBaloney90

      Replying to @neiltyson

      “The tornado has dissipated, but I’m going to stay in my cellar forever just in case another tornado ever pops up.”

    • leon

      What really matters is WHO is speeding and WHERE,

      • DrOtto

        I was speeding the other day. To be fair, I was just trying to keep pace with traffic. To be honest, that traffic consisted of a Corvette C7 ZR1 that I couldn’t catch despite my best efforts.

    • Q Continuum

      Pointless, ineffective laws are there for your own protection peasant.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yep, some Tweat head was asking on one of those type of stories where the accidents were from those supposed dangerous speeds.

      Also funny how all of these similar stories are popping up at once.

    • Rhywun

      I would say “meh” except all the speeders around here have modified their mufflers for maximum annoyance. It’s bugging the everloving shit out of me. They obviously have nothing better to do than tool around the neighborhood all. fucking. day.

      • Lackadaisical

        This is why gun ownership is important.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t see how that works even if I had one. It’s not like they’re trespassing or something.

      • Lackadaisical

        Sound waves that are loud enough constitute assault.

        Don’t believe me? Just go stand next to a jet airplane, or experience a sonic boom.

        also a little tongue in cheek.

  27. westernsloper

    Trump starts a No Mitts Club.

    Ha! Now that is funny. But I am not above petty behavior either.

  28. Grosspatzer

    Why do I keep hearing this every time I turn on the teevee?

    • Grosspatzer

      Actually, This

    • Rhywun

      Yep, same identity politics bullshit that’s being practiced in NYC.

      • Count Potato

        ” As the coronavirus bore down on New York City, Barbot and the Health Department were busy operationalizing social justice while remaining oblivious to the scientific realities of the pandemic. The department’s focus on health equity required it to discourage recent arrivals from Wuhan from going into self-quarantine or avoiding large public gatherings like the Lunar New Year celebrations.

        “We are very clear: We wish New Yorkers a Happy Lunar New Year and we encourage people to spend time with their families and go about their celebration,” Barbot insisted.

        A week later, Barbot appeared at a press event promoting Lunar New Year celebrations in Chinatown.

        “As we gear up to celebrate the #LunarNewYear in NYC, I want to assure New Yorkers that there is no reason for anyone to change their holiday plans, avoid the subway, or certain parts of the city because of #coronavirus,” she insisted.”

        CWAA

    • Q Continuum

      The guy’s a commie terrorist, not sure why anyone would expect differently from him.

  29. The Other Kevin

    Looks like there’s an antiviral drug in Chicago that’s showing promising results. But Trump said something good about it, so in the next few days look for an expose about how Trump is forcing doctors to use dangerous untested drugs again.

  30. Rufus the Monocled

    Is this 503 Gateway problem on my end or the site? It’s a few days it’s a nuisance tying to get a comment through.

    • UnCivilServant

      A lot of us get the same errors, but SP apparently does not.

    • Grosspatzer

      Switching from monocle to eyepiece seems to have solved that for me (Brave browser).

    • westernsloper

      See Trashy’s re to NA above. I don’t see comment numbers anymore so can’t help there. But that system is working for me other than I do not have “Dynamic comments refresh” enabled, only “Avoid page refresh”. Post comment and then reload page. No 504 errors.

    • AlmightyJB

      Wow. I’m impressed.

    • Tres Cool

      ” Local officials are losing control of their messaging. #COVIDー19 @FOXLA”

      Is that an observation or a warning?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Sounds like a warning. Hey State! Look how good we are! We are on your side…please dont line us up against the wall!

  31. Rebel Scum

    I assume tax revenues are down.

    Mayor of Las Vegas Carolyn Goodman on Wednesday called the closure of nonessential businesses in the city “total insanity.”

    While opening Wednesday’s City Council Meeting, Mayor Goodman said that “this shutdown has become one of total insanity.” Adding, “For there is no backup of data as to why we are shutdown from the start. No plan in place how to move through the shutdown or how to even come out of it.”

    Mayor Goodman said that according to experts who she has spoken to, the coronavirus is “not going away.”

    “It’s not going to be going away this month, next month, and much like the flu and other viruses that have impacted populations around the world, this virus, or a derivative there of, will be part of what we work through going forward,” Mayor Goodman said.

    • Nephilium

      Considering that Vegas lives on tourism, which is D-E-D right now. It’s pretty clear they’re losing money.

    • Ownbestenemy

      She fought the shutdown of business when the gov. announced back in March. Then the real power brokers (city commissioners) stepped in and fell in line with the State.

      Same with Henderson. They initially had their St. Patty Day festival still going with adding handwash stations and some distance rules.

      Again, State stopped it.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “Sloopy is getting so desperate that he is willing to watch women’s soccer at this point.”

    I have been watching old (“82 – ’83) Formula One races on youtube. The quality of the racing is inestimably better than the mindnumbing processions they put on now. Passing for position on the race track! Detroit ’82 (I think): John Watson scythes his way from 13th on the grid to win, working his way through a three car group in a single lap, at one point. And then, there is the element of uncertainty. Rosberg, cruising along in first in Australia until his left rear shreds itself in spectacular fashion.

    Those were the good old days, and don’t tell me they weren’t. After all this superstitious bullshit to appease the angry Plague Gods, there probably won’t even be physical race cars. It’ll all be done virtually. No race car driver need ever lose his life to the sport he loves.

    *dances around pile of rocks, shakes painted stick*

    • AlmightyJB

      Yeah I found qualifying to be more enjoyable with NHRA drag racing as well.

  33. Not Adahn

    Company has revealed some of the ways we got the “essential” status:

    $10k to the county
    $15k to surrounding towns
    $20k to the town we’re in
    $80k to a “first responders” fund controlled directly by Caesar Andy.

    Surprisingly cheap, honestly.

    • UnCivilServant

      Yeah, $125k to not go bankrupt, less than I thought it would be.

    • pan fried wylie

      Nice business you got there, shame if somethings was to happen to it, eh?

  34. leon

    Test

  35. Rebel Scum

    The gibberish is worse in text form.

    I sat with a guy on, on a telephone and he’s telling me, he said, “I don’t always,” he said, “Look, I, I, I, I, I, I’m, I, I worked at the hospital.” And he said, “Then I, I got, I got myself a position where I got the virus so they quarantined me and, and they put me in the hospital, and I made it out and so I’m out [slurp]. But they don’t want me with my family. I’m on the third floor. I spent 15 minutes on the phone with them saying,’ he said, ‘I have a three-year-old and a four-year-old. They come to the door outside and they just knock on the door and say ‘Daddy, Daddy, can I see you Daddy, can I see you Daddy?’’”
    So we spent time going through it [slurp], I used to do with my kids when they were little and I couldn’t see them and we’d play games. I said, “Knock, make up a game, knock, knock on the door and say this is, you know [slurp].” [incomprehensible] This is practical things, the guy’s scared to death. And he’s worried about his children, he’s worried about his wie [sic]. I mean, these are practical things. And the president talks about this like, “OK, it’s gonna be OK. We’re gonna open… tomorrow. We’re gonna do this.”

    I mean, it just, I must tell you, it drives me crazy. I don’t know what he doesn’t understand.

    • Festus

      Good God. I thought that was taken from one of those viral “Black Folk Freaking Out” memes. They was a fiyah!

  36. Q Continuum

    Here’s a fascinating article that I posted a while ago.

    https://www.kirkdurston.com/blog/unwin

    Feel free to disagree with Unwin’s conclusions wrt sexual restraint, but I think the tiered levels of cultural decay are spot on. While we were some kind of hybrid of levels 3 and 4 for the first couple of centuries +/- a decade or so, I’d say we’ve definitely decayed down to a level 2. From our pitiful attempts to appease the angry Plague Gods (as Brooks said) to our idolatrous worship of identity politics and absurd embracing of superstitious nonsense like healing crystals, sex magick and other pseudo-new age poppycock, we’ve definitely jettisoned rational thought. Our leaders, political, cultural and industrial, have to say the right magical incantations related to “diversity”, “inclusion”, “green initiatives” etc. etc. etc. or face metaphorical burning at the stake.

    The theory that unbridled sexuality is directly to blame for it is not new, but it is interesting to see that argument being made not primarily from a religious/SoCon perspective.

    • Not Adahn

      Don’t knock sex magick until you’ve tried it. And if it doesn’t work for you, you aren’t doing it right and need more practice.

      I should find out if there’s anyone around here perfoming the rites like there was back in Austin

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I think he missed a culture in his list unless you’re defining a post-rationalistic culture as deistic. Seems there needs to be a better term that encompasses a mystical belief in the power of the State (e.g. Lysenkoism is not rationalistic).

      • Q Continuum

        I’d say that any of the “superstitions” listed in level 2 would be considered some form or another of idolatry. Worship of the State is probably the most dangerous form of idolatry I can think of.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I’ve been saying since at least 1998 we’re in a Dark Age. In what stage I haven’t quite figured out. I don’t think we’re in the c. 476AD-800 stage yet. I guess that would have to take the USA collapsing to get there.

      People don’t grasp if the USA falls, Canada and Mexico will fall right alongside it.

      • AlexinCT

        It doesn’t stop with those 2 either, Rufus…

    • Rhywun

      Interesting, thanks.

    • Not Adahn

      Unwin makes it clear that he does not know why sexual freedom directly leads to the decline and collapse of cultures, although he suggests that when sexual energy is restrained through celibacy or monogamy, it is diverted into more productive social energy.

      So, “never before the big game, it makes your legs weak” writ large?

      Color me skeptical, particualrly with the criteria and measurements chosen to create this thesis. Doubly so, since the cultures I’d consider “high” could neither be plausibly said to have had pre-marriage abstinence nor post-marriage strict monogomy. In fact, the only culture I can think of that might would be Egypt.

      • Q Continuum

        I think a more likely candidate is the familial breakdown that seems to happen when there are no rules. Strict monogamy is not a requirement for there to be some kind of cultural restraint, in fact strict monogamy (at least for men) is the exception rather than the rule. But, there were very tight guidelines about what kind of extra-marital sex was permitted and how much of an impact it was allowed to have on your primary familial responsibilities.

        I think the devastation of communities with high percentages of family breakdown bears this out.

      • Tejicano

        In Japanese (and I believe Thai culture as well) wives will generally overlook her husband’s extramarital activities as long as he doesn’t abandon the family. Sex outside the marriage does not necessarily lead to familial breakdown.

      • Q Continuum

        So what’s your favorite soapland?

      • Sensei

        I’m glad this topic has bubbled up.

      • Tejicano

        In Japanese (and I believe Thai culture as well) wives will generally overlook her husband’s extramarital activities as long as he doesn’t abandon the family. Sex outside the marriage does not necessarily lead to familial breakdown.

      • Swiss Servator

        Does that include cavorting with squirrels?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I think a more likely candidate is the familial breakdown that seems to happen when there are no rules.

        Agreed, which would create a correlation with chastity and strict monogamy, even if it’s diminishing returns after “mostly monogamous”.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Alternatively, I can see chastity and monogamy functioning as a stand in for a general social inclination toward self-discipline and delayed gratification, which I would expect would correlate strongly with cultural growth and success.

      • Q Continuum

        Not having read the original source, I can’t be authoritative on this, but I did read the 26 page list of quotes and I think the “delayed gratification” concept is the cornerstone of this theory.

        Basically, unrestrained sexuality provides immediate pleasure, but it causes longer term decay and ultimately causes more suffering than pleasure.

      • Q Continuum

        Further, I don’t think his argument is “no boom-boom before the big game”, I think it’s when males are restrained from spending a significant portion of their time chasing tail, they do other stuff instead.

        Of course, you could go the other direction and say, well if the market is flooded with pussy, its price goes down and you get a supply glut. Therefore, males don’t have to make much of an effort to get laid, so there’s no need for them to go out and do things to prove their fitness. They can live and home, work a menial job and play video games while getting Tinder ass with no greater effort required.

      • Not Adahn

        I’m not trying to be nit-picky here, but he says “sexual energy,” not “time.” Time is something that can actually be expended, and your argument is at least physically possible. “Sexual energy,” to the extent that it’s even a thing isn’t a depletable resource, its a state that gets augmented through use. It would be like warning that engaging in physical labor depletes “strength.” I think I have some old books that actualy make such a warning, along with adminitions against hot showers.

        Of course, I have a predisposition of seing “culture” as a non-thing that is far less important than the happiness of any given individual actual human.

        I can also see that familial ties and other voluntary impulses to help are vastly better at making lives better with a “culture” or “society,” than trying to counterfeit such impules by commands from authority.

      • Shirley Knott

        I think the thesis can be rejected outright based solely on the Industrial Revolution and the circumstances in Great Britain in which it occured.

  37. robc

    SD, NE, and WY failed the 10% test yesterday. It looks like the virus has reached the middle of nowhere.

    • UnCivilServant

      What is this ‘10% test’?

    • leon

      HA! Screw you Nevada!

    • westernsloper

      What is your 10% test again?

      • robc

        Completely arbitrary thing I have been looking at: new cases are less than 10% of total cases.

        It roughly means that doubling takes more than a week instead of more often.

      • R C Dean

        The complication is the increased level of testing. Even if actual incidence is level (or even, possibly, declining), you can get increased positive test results.

        IOW, looking solely at positive tests while testing is increasing will make “growth” look worse than it is.

      • robc

        I agree, its mostly worthless. However, I think testing is more stable now, so it has some meaning. Deaths are the only really good indicator, as they aren’t as dependent on testing (although I bet there were a bunch of Feb, Jan, and Dec covid deaths than got missed).

      • R C Dean

        Deaths are the only really good indicator

        You mean, the deaths that include people who tested negative, weren’t tested at all, or had potentially fatal comorbities?

        I’d say deaths, as currently being counted, are a worse indicator than positive tests.

        I completely ignore the “number of cases” – you know, the number the MSM keeps hyping the most.

        If they don’t subtract people who don’t actually have an active infection, its worse than useless, its misleading.

      • Rhywun

        I completely ignore the “number of cases” – you know, the number the MSM keeps hyping the most.

  38. creech

    We keep hearing that “things won’t get back to normal until a (ChiCom)Virus vaccine is invented.” Any of you scientific types know if a vaccine has ever been invented that has protected against a virus?

    • Grosspatzer

      All the childhood diseases you younguns never got, for starters. TBF, I don’t remember shutting stuff down prior to the discovery of those vaccines. /not a scientist

    • Not Adahn

      Yes. Smallpox comes immediately to mind. And polio, and…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sure, just not for a coronavirus.

      They developed a vaccine for SARS, but it caused an insufficient immune response, so it only served to worsen the symptoms of those exposed to the virus.

      The efforts were dropped afterwards because the need had lessened.

      • The Other Kevin

        The common cold is a Coronavirus, and they’ve been working on a vaccine for 50 years with no luck.

    • WTF

      Sure, plenty of viruses, such as Polio and a bunch of other diseases. The issue with corona viruses is that they mutate readily so a vaccine is never 100% effective, and is not effective for very long. Which is why the yearly flu vaccine is based on a lot of guess work and varies in effectiveness from year to year.

      • Q Continuum

        She *looked* clean dammit!

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Any of you scientific types know if a vaccine has ever been invented that has protected against a virus an angry, angry god?

    • Gender Traitor

      + 1 Jonathan Edwards

      • Gustave Lytton

        Always loved that sermon title.

      • Gender Traitor

        #FunStuffIHadToReadInAmLit

    • westernsloper

      *checks BMI table* 29…..Fuck ya! I am safe. *lights cigarette*

    • AlexinCT

      Read somewhere yesterday that blood sugar (and especially diabetus) played a major role amongst those that were not elderly and still perished.

      • Rebel Scum

        IOW pre-existing conditions make one susceptible, and it is worse with age. But we aren’t supposed to talk about that.

    • bacon-magic

      Can’t wait for all the despots and thugs to start crackin’ down on us fats.

      1st they came for the coughers, but I didn’t cough so didn’t care…

      • westernsloper

        *cough*

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Considering that Vegas lives on tourism, which is D-E-D right now. It’s pretty clear they’re losing money.

    The state and local governments get their funding from their cut of the action, I believe. No gamblers, no money.

    And- I just saw some guy on the Bozeman teevee news last night saying, “Well, obviously, taxes will HAVE TO go up, because tourism will be way down, and we’re going to have to get the money to keep all our wonderful and completely necessary government programs going.”

    Belts must not be tightened. That way lie anarchy and madness.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      our wonderful and completely necessary government programs

      AKA government employee pensions

  41. The Late P Brooks

    I’ve been saying since at least 1998 we’re in a Dark Age. In what stage I haven’t quite figured out. I don’t think we’re in the c. 476AD-800 stage yet. I guess that would have to take the USA collapsing to get there.

    Don’t worry, the book burnings will come.

    • leon

      Dark Ages weren’t that bad folk. Get to found your own kingdom. Plenty of drink. Manly contests of strength. All you are need to start looking on the bright side of life.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not enough singing though

  42. DrOtto

    We’ve had 2 deaths in my neighborhood in the past week. Wife was certain they were Corona related. One was a 14 y.o. suicide, which I was very saddened to hear. The other was a cancer patient. I can’t help but wonder if the reaction to this stupid shit played into both of these deaths.

    • Pope Jimbo

      So what you are saying is that your wife was right and the govt fear mongers should go ahead and add them to the death total?

    • The Other Kevin

      My current hobbyhorse is that the way we’re being forced to handle this is creating an unprecedented mental health crisis.

      • Festus

        You are not wrong. Click zoom tonight to watch much whistling past the graveyard.

      • Lackadaisical

        Is there a meetup tonight?

      • Ozymandias

        Neph posted some links for tonight and tomorrow night, I believe.

      • Lackadaisical

        In which thread? 🙁

      • Ozymandias

        Last night’s. I copied and pasted here, but somehow it didn’t work. Sorry.
        You can search comments from the Dashboard. I searched “nephilium” and it comes up there with the links.

      • Lackadaisical

        Thanks, found it.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Elsewhere, in NEWS FROM SCIENCE

    A two-decade-long dry spell that has parched much of the western United States is turning into one of the deepest megadroughts in the region in more than 1,200 years, a new study found.

    And about half of this historic drought can be blamed on man-made global warming, according to a study in Thursday’s journal Science.

    Scientists looked at a nine-state area from Oregon and Wyoming down through California and New Mexico, plus a sliver of southwestern Montana and parts of northern Mexico. They used thousands of tree rings to compare a drought that started in 2000 and is still going — despite a wet 2019 — to four past megadroughts since the year 800.

    ——-

    Daniel Swain, a UCLA climate scientist who wasn’t part of the study, called the research important because it provides evidence “that human-caused climate change transformed what might have otherwise been a moderate long-term drought into a severe event comparable to the ‘megadroughts’ of centuries past.”

    What’s happening is that a natural but moderate drought is being worsened by temperatures that are 2.9 degrees Fahrenheit (1.6 degrees Celsius) hotter than the past and that suck moisture out of the ground, Williams said. It’s much like how clothes and plants dry faster in the warmth of indoors than they do outside, he said.

    To quantify the role of global warming, researchers used 31 computer models to compare what’s happening now to what would happen in a mythical world without the burning of fossil fuels that spews billions of tons of heat-trapping gases. They found on average that 47% of the drought could be blamed on human-caused climate change.

    “According to my model, you people are all poopyheads.”

    • Rhywun

      “proof”

      LOL

    • WTF

      despite a wet 2019

      Wouldn’t that be the end of the drought?

      • Rhywun

        Shut up!

    • westernsloper

      …..severe event comparable to the ‘megadroughts’ of centuries past.”

      Wait, so if we had megadroughts centuries ago, why……ah fuck it.

      • pan fried wylie

        The southwest has been a desert for 5kyr, but, yeah, sure, drought.

        meanwhile, Saharan Drought, day 3,650,000 and counting.

      • pan fried wylie

        Someone ELSE.

        My Models Are Infallible.

    • R C Dean

      31 computer models

      Garbage in is garbage out, no matter how many models you have.

    • Akira

      I was talking to my mom (hardcore CAGW believer) about the Coronavirus the other day. I mentioned that the models have been way off, and she said, “Yea, those models are just educated guesses about what might happen.” It was interesting to me that someone can realize that predictive modelling is not a magical crystal ball that shows you the future with absolute certainty but still believe in CAGW. I mean, she’s not a stupid person. I think she (and a lot of CAGW believers) just don’t ever examine that particular thing. It’s weird.

  44. leon

    Florian Posch
    @DoNuT_1985
    ·
    1h
    I wouldn’t challenge that from a US perspective. Just saying that there will be times you’ll have to make that cut because the pandemic has no on/off switch, ununfortunately. Same discussion here in Europe but at some point it needs a first steps back, even at risk.

    Mike W
    Billed cap
    @M_Wyn_77
    ·
    1h
    I 100% agree. Some of us are sensitive on this point in the states, because we don’t have a leader at the national level capable of making such a nuanced decision.

    You know, i thought about it some more and can see why these people live in terror. All along i thought it was that they must have it easy feeling like they can push all the pain and risk on everyone else. But because they do that they live in terror of ever having to actually pay the piper themselves, of those other people saying “Fuck you, we aren’t going to accept your shit anymore”. When your entire worldview is to shove consequences onto others so you can live a pain free life, the prospect of responsibility is all that more terrifying.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The death of individualism brought the end of personal responsibility.

      • invisible finger

        ^THIS

    • Rhywun

      COMMENT

    • Rhywun

      we don’t have a leader at the national level capable of making such a nuanced decision

      LOL

      He just released a “nuanced” plan that the states can take or leave, you fucking idiot.

    • leon

      Also…. How much of a bitch do you sound like when you are expecting big daddy president to make the decisions for 330 milliion people. You’d think that the “Opposition” party would be “opposed” to giving the president such power, but we are at the point that the problem isn’t the power but that they don’t have it.

      • Rebel Scum

        They (leftists) call the Donald a fascist one second and an impotent/idiot flake the next. They can’t make up their minds.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    I’m working on a model of a mythical world in which people aren’t morons. I’m not having much luck, though. The premise just doesn’t withstand the most superficial scrutiny.

    • AlmightyJB

      I’m trying very hard not to root for the virus:) Beam me up Scotty.

    • Festus

      That’s ok. The person in charge of the pandemic response is a Chinese-Canadian and when she stated that lifting restrictions would be a “chink in the armor” I damned near drove off the road.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Been quoted here many times…

      A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat,
      and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.

      • hayeksplosives

        Philosophy courtesy of MIB.

  46. AlexinCT

    Sports will return, and it needs to soon. Sloopy is getting so desperate that he is willing to watch women’s soccer at this point.

    I bet you have him sitting down when he pees too if he has gone this far…..

    • Festus

      She’ll be having him say “Yes’m” and “‘No’m” in no time at all! Why, that fence will be white-warshed by Sattidy!

  47. The Late P Brooks

    What goes with everything? Nazis!

    A wave of planned anti-lockdown demonstrations that have broken out around the country to protest the efforts of state governments to combat the coronavirus pandemic with business closures and stay-at-home orders have included far-right groups as well as more mainstream Republicans.

    While protesters in Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky and other states claim to speak for ordinary citizens, many are also supported by street-fighting rightwing groups like the Proud Boys, conservative armed militia groups, religious fundamentalists, anti-vaccination groups and other elements of the radical right.

    ——-

    The pattern of rightwing not-for-profits promoting public protests while still more radical groups use lockdown resistance as a platform for extreme rightwing causes looks set to continue in events advertised in other states over coming days.

    In Idaho on Friday, protesters plan to gather at the capitol building in Boise to protest anti-virus restrictions put in place by the Republican governor, Brad Little.

    The protest has been heavily promoted by the Idaho Freedom Foundation (IFF), which counts among its donors “dark money” funds linked to the Koch brothers such as Donors Capital Fund, and Castle Rock, a foundation seeded with part of the fortune of Adolph Coors, the rightwing beer magnate.

    Unbelievers! Agitators! Deniers! Malcontents!

    • leon

      street-fighting rightwing groups like the Proud Boys, conservative armed militia groups, religious fundamentalists, anti-vaccination groups

      The author of this peice uses “righting” a lot, like it is some clear signal that “These are bad folk”. Yet every group the mention is harmless. “Religious Fundamentalists”? really? It is so terrifying. they might walk past you in outmoded fashion, the horror. And the proud boys might not jack off into a ficus around you. So terrifying.

    • Rhywun

      You’d think they could come up with some pictures of these Nazis to support their case, instead of, you know, the pictures they actually chose.

      • Viking1865

        It’s an old old tactic of the media. At a leftwing protest, you find the most photogenic, normal looking, most innocuous signs, and that’s the photographs and video you run. You find the smiling old granma hippie with “Give Peace a Chance!!!” sign and you carefully ignore the giant banner in front of her that says “Terrorist is a Capitalist Word for Freedom Fighter.” You talk about “schoolteachers, moms, college students, activists, people from all walks of life.” You interview 20 people, and you pick the 2 most reasonable, articulate, charismatic ones and run those on the screen.

        Rightwing protests you find the Confederate flags, and that’s the picture. You describe the crowd as “Nazis, anti-immigrant groups, Confederate sympathizers, anti-government extremists, who are overwhelmingly white.” You interview 20 people, and you pick the two most angry, ugly, shrill, unpleasant stupid ones and those are the interviews you run on the screen.

      • Hyperion

        “At a leftwing protest, you find the most photogenic, normal looking”

        Oh wait, I was confused there for a moment. You meant the signs, not the morbidly obese pink and green haired non-binary whatever that is.

      • Viking1865

        There’s normal looking people in every crowd. You find the smiling 21 year old college student with LOVE WINS as though the Republicans are actually going to round up Teh Gayz. You find the kind schoolteacher who smiles while she tells your kids that capitalism is just slavery rebranded, and that the Constitution means whatever Ginsburg says it does.

    • Translucent Chum

      I went through a 40 picture story thing that had plenty of trump signs and guys open carrying. I found one picture of a modified stars and bars that had a gun on it and some writing I couldn’t make out. If any of that stuff was there, you can be sure there would be photos everywhere.

    • Q Continuum

      It’s telling that giving a shit about the BoR and civil liberties is equated with right-wing extremism. If that’s the case, people should be proclaiming their membership in the “right-wing” proudly.

      • Rebel Scum

        giving a shit about the BoR and civil liberties is equated with right-wing extremism

        Extremism* in defense of liberty is no vice.

        And I always like to remind our anti-freedom acquaintances that “extreme” is a relative term.

    • Rebel Scum

      street-fighting rightwing groups like the Proud Boys

      They don’t start the fights.

      anti-vaccination groups and other elements of the radical right

      Anti-vaxers such as champagne socialist Jim Carey?

      use lockdown resistance as a platform for extreme rightwing causes

      Such as?

      • Lackadaisical

        anti-vaccination groups and other elements of the radical right

        I have joined a few of these groups on FB, while many are religious, they tend to be very… bohemian? They don’t strike me as socons exactly.

        use lockdown resistance as a platform for extreme rightwing causes
        Such as?

        The idea that we have rights?

  48. Count Potato

    “Facebook Coronavirus ‘Fact Checker’ Worked with Wuhan Virus Lab

    Facebook is relying on a “fact checker” that uses “expert opinion” from a researcher who conducted projects with the Wuhan Institute of Virology, the biolab next to the wet market in Wuhan where the Chinese virus originated.

    An article from the “expert,” Danielle E. Anderson, an assistant professor at Duke-NUS medical school, was used by Facebook to fact-check a video from the Epoch Times suggesting the Institute, which is located at the original epicenter of the now-global pandemic, as one of the possible origin points.

    “You cannot make it up.
    The “fact checker” Facebook is using to censor a documentary discussing possibility that corinavirus came from Wuhan lab… is scientist who worked at Wuhan lab with Chinese communists.
    Honestly, folks. ”

    This is not a fringe claim — CNN reports that the U.S. intelligence community is currently investigating the same laboratory as the possible source of the outbreak. The same thread of investigation that got ZeroHedge banned from Twitter in late January is now being looked at by the U.S. government and reported on by the mainstream media.”

    https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2020/04/16/facebook-coronavirus-fact-checker-worked-with-wuhan-virus-lab/

    • Gustave Lytton

      Duke-NUS Medical School is in Singapore. The NUS part is National University of Singapore. How exactly did she end up as a fact checker for Facebook?

      • leon

        Um.. She works for a university. Universities deal in Facts. What are you some kinda backwards redneck inner-city troglodyte?

    • Hyperion

      It’s not only CNN, the AP, the Atlantic, and other lefty publications are now reporting this. It seems that the evidence that it did originate in that lab is very strong.

      We’re going to find out soon enough, I think, unless the NYT and their CCP buddies can somehow bury it.

      • Count Potato

        Zerohedge will still be banned though.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      And the Epoch Times is owned by Falun Gong.

      Something about geese and ganders.

      • Not Adahn

        I’m wondering if all non-lockstep media will by necessity be owned or operated by cranks.

        It’s like that short lived “The Knife Media” that was owned by some cult or other — I was very sad to see them go, I really liked the way they were trying to identify/quantify emotive or rhetorical language. It was probably a fool’s errand but it was still interesting.

      • leon

        I don’t know what you mean… I thought Falun Gong was a form of Martial Arts or Calisthenics…. that the CCP was very much against.

      • Ozymandias

        You’re pretty close. Falun Gong was a group that practiced Qi Gong; they’re big mistake was getting political and making demands. Worst of all, they organized some protests and that pretty quickly made them illegal. The ChiComs are extraordinarily strict on their prohibitions against large public gatherings; they are most assuredly not interested in having another Tianamen Square publicity problem.
        Behind the scenes, the UFC had to ensure to the ChiComs satisfaction that there wouldn’t be any problems when they held their first even there. I’ll probably include some of this when I finally get back to writing more of Ozy’s Adventures in China.

  49. Sensei

    For folks that have NAS or RAID arrays at home I’d like to take a moment to thank WD for breaking their generally reliable Red series.

    Buyer beware—that 2TB-6TB “NAS” drive you’ve been eyeing might be SMR

    Storage vendors, including but reportedly not limited to Western Digital, have quietly begun shipping SMR (Shingled Magnetic Recording) disks in place of earlier CMR (Conventional Magnetic Recording) disks.

    SMR is a technology that allows vendors to eke out higher storage densities, netting more TB capacity on the same number of platters—or fewer platters, for the same amount of TB.

    Until recently, the technology has only been seen in very large disks, which were typically clearly marked as “archival”. In addition to higher capacities, SMR is associated with much lower random I/O performance than CMR disks offer.

    • kinnath

      My computer has a pair of mirrored 1 TB flash drives. So no platters.

      • Sensei

        For large amounts of storage the platters are still cheaper. I mostly store media and back-ups and the like on my NAS so random write isn’t critical. However, this really looks like it slows write speeds down.

        As long as the NAS (Synology OS) can deal with the slower writes without breaking it would be annoying, but not critical.

    • kbolino

      I wonder if they’re trying to kill off their platter business. Random I/O performance on spinning disks is already dismal compared to even cheap SSDs, and SSD storage densities are catching up to spinning disks faster than spinning disk density is increasing. Add in the higher rates of defects, and the whole spinning disk business is probably heading towards being unprofitable, if it’s not there already.

      • Rhywun

        I’d like to be able to afford all-SSD some day. That day is not today. 🙁

      • kbolino

        But it might be soon.

        Unfortunately, it’s getting to the point where spinning disks might be too much of a gamble for the savings.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I won’t be in the market for a new computer for several years anyway. Fingers crossed.

      • Count Potato

        I need to buy another rotational drive soon.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Wouldn’t that be the end of the drought?

    LISSEN BUB! THE DROUGHT’S NOT OVER UNTIL WE SAY IT’S OVER!

    *dances around pile of rocks, shakes painted stick*

    • Festus

      You like to paint yours too? I try to go with a vibrant color to really make it “pop”.

  51. Ownbestenemy

    Jesus..local news is just as bad. Headline: Businesses in Henderson surviving one month into shutdown

    First paragraph: “We don’t have any sales coming in, no sales at all,” Juan Vazquez said. He owns Juan’s Flaming Fajitas.

    The restaurant’s two locations have been closed for a month.”

    https://www.fox5vegas.com/coronavirus/businesses-in-henderson-surviving-one-month-into-shutdown/article_57dfaa1e-8066-11ea-b93b-5b3774f28258.html

    Now do “non-essential” businesses and tell me they are using this opportunity to restructure their business models and it has been a boon.

    Fucking assholes.

    • Tacit Rainbow

      All the business will “survive” until they miss their yearly filing.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    And then the Guardian writer drops this gleaming turd:

    As for Shea, he is speaking on Saturday at an online “Saving America” conference which will discuss an alleged erosion of rights “that’s been ramped up in unprecedented ways during this Covid-19 crisis”.

    Too utterly precious.

    • leon

      The extent to which the large majority of people hate you for disagreeing with them is all to normal… But this is the way things have been throughout history…

    • Hyperion

      The Guardian is a collection of Limey turds who have been given writing devices. Didn’t we already kick their ass once? I think they need another one, just for fun.

      • Rhywun

        They’re commies. That’s all you need to know.

      • Festus

        I’ve found that pretty much every web site that has a pay-wall or has banned commenting ain’t worth the bits they’re written in.

      • Hyperion

        On that side of the pond, they’ve apparently developed severe BDS (Brexit Derangement Syndrome). It appears the disease has some DNA that is identical to the deadly TDS disease that appeared in the USA around Nov 2016.

  53. Hyperion

    This is an interesting article worth a read.

    We Don’t Need To Live In A Post-Coronavirus World

    He should have maybe made the title ‘The Ratcheting Up Effect of Authoritarianism (of Karens and Cuntes)’

    It’s like you KNOW they are going to do it, the little Hitler wannabes who just hunker down in their safe space, waiting for the next juicy crisis, so they can seize the moment to proclaim a new socialist utopia is at hand. You know they’re going to do it, but you still cringe every time you see it.

    • Drake

      I used to be the one yelling “fuck off” at the news readers regularly. Now my wife has taken over that responsibility. Whenever somebody starts talking about keeping things shit down, taking precautions going forward, or China in general, she reacts with loud profanities. My work here is done.

      • pan fried wylie

        SHIT IT ALL DOWN.

    • Lackadaisical

      We need to get Mojo on this: Karens and Cuntes: CoronaVirus Porn Romance Novels

      • Not Adahn

        “Her phone was in her hand, already beginning to dial ths snitch line to report her mysterious new neighbor who had venrtured forth, unmasked and defiant. But then she looked at him, and her breath caught in her chest. That face… that jawline… put a mask over that? Maybe just this once, it would be ok to bend the rules a teensy bit?”

      • Lackadaisical

        Alright, I’m hooked.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Sister Moje has taught you well by her bold yet tender example, my son.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Ah yes, the inclement weather exception.

      What a hard, smug, shiny, immobile, and dead-eyed visage.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Whitmer is turning out to be the most loathsome of all the tyrants. She seems happily dismissive of anyone who opposes her power grabs.

      • kbolino

        While Snyder was not entirely blameless in the Flint water fiasco, Whitmer got the job largely because of backlash against Republicans for it.

      • kbolino

        I meant to introduce that comment a little better, but oh well. Basically, this is what you (can get) when you vote solely on reaction.

      • Hyperion

        They may be having a little buyer’s remorse. She’s just another lefty tyrant wannbe like all the rest of her ilk, like Gulag Barbie. They’re all identical with a penchant for smug authoritarianism and little brain cells to go along with it.

    • leon

      I’m actually glad that she said that, just like i’m glad that Murphy said “It’s above my pay grade”. It shows to the extent that they are not ready for any pushback on their overreach and that they are truley unprepared for it. It shows that now is a time to strike. When someone uses the weather as an excuse for why their power-grab during a pandemic isn’t that bad, you know they are scraping the barrel. the position they are in is untenable. They must yield or be swept away.

      • Drake

        It was telling how unprepared he was for that question. It literally had never occurred to him that I have any constitutional rights.

      • Lackadaisical

        If the government routinely ignores their existence… do you have functional rights?

    • Shirley Knott

      Far be it from me to provide any support to that ignorant vicious totalitarian twat, but accuracy does matter. She has not banned gardening at home. What she has banned is the pre-requisite — shopping in person for seeds and/or plants.
      One could order on-line, eventually receive their seeds and/or plants, and garden at home.
      This one error, too oft repeated, will be used to discredit the whole of the response.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Understandable to make the distinction but her optics on it are telling.

        What about the couple that has internet but only use it to talk to grandkids or isnt savvy to navigate online shopping? They suffer?

      • Shirley Knott

        Oh, the optics are definitely bad. And people will suffer.
        But on-line is not the only option for getting gardening prerequisites — I haven’t ordered from Gurney’s in over 20 years but I still get at least one catalog a year from them, typically in late March.
        My point is we need to be accurate in our pushback so as not to give any openings for rejecting our pushback. This is, in think, a variant of kbolino’s remarks above. Preemptively disarming the enemy is a necessary part of the work.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Agreed

      • kbolino

        Agreed. I looked at the actual EOs and nowhere are you banned from gardening at your own primary residence. Although it looks like professional landscaping is actually banned because it’s not essential to life, and you can’t travel to a second home you own, so if your gardening land is at your other house, forget about it.

        That having been said, I doubt you’d get those seeds in time to plant them if you order them from Amazon.

      • Lackadaisical

        Officer, I am not traveling to my second house, I am traveling to my garden, which is essential travel.

        /winning

      • Drake

        If you need gardening tools and soil, you’ll have to order those online too.

      • pan fried wylie

        Enjoy ordering soil online….

      • Naptown Bill

        As I recall, during the early days of marijuana legalization and decriminalization there were a few places that made actual possession legal but kept buying, transporting, and selling illegal. I think Prohibition was similar; drinking wasn’t illegal per se, but making, buying, selling, possessing, or transporting booze was.

      • R C Dean

        I, for one, am curious about how you drink without possessing booze.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Like the line in Tombstone…we aren’t saying you can’t own guns, you just can’t carry them in town

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        And then the message is watered down to a granular level that tunes people out.

        NYC and LA have banned firearm ownership. There are loopholes though. Politicians, judges, LEOs, prosecutors, and celebrities can still own firearms. A more typical NYC resident could purchase a firearm in a different state and then store it in that state while retaining ownership.

        I think it’s disingenuous to reshape the argument with time-consuming or very specific loopholes. If the government is preventing my accomplishing something without going through tedious, time-consuming, or expensive loopholes than I consider that a de facto ban on that activity. Hence why the 2nd Amendment states very specifically “shall not be infringed”.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Similar to the quote by a Cali Sheriff I posted yesterday..

        You haven’t lost your first amendment you just have to do it in the framework we say to do it.

        Obviously paraphrasing it here but in essence, while saying I lost my religious right because I can’t go to church isn’t entirely accurate, it is as you said, adding layers of tedious workarounds for me to worship how I see fit. That is a de facto loss of a right.

      • leon

        Exactly. what is frustrating is that they aren’t dumb. They know regulatory blocks and pitfalls are a way to take the rights away. They make that same argument whenever anyone wants to put a restriction on Abortion.

      • Tacit Rainbow

        A right delayed is a right denied.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        And Shirley, my disingenuous remark was directed as those who support restrictions of liberty and twist everything like a snake in knots, not at your comments about them doing that.

      • R C Dean

        If the government is preventing my accomplishing something without going through tedious, time-consuming, or expensive loopholes than I consider that a de facto ban on that activity.

        Its not even de facto. Its explicit.

        I have never seen a licensing or permitting scheme that doesn’t overtly prohibit whatever is being licensed or permitted unless you have the permission slip.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Punxatawny Phil Joe emerges from his burrow

    “I think we should do a situation like we did in the Recovery Act,” he said, adding that “Employers, if they’re able to stay open, instead of … having to lay off employees — bring on everybody, keep them working, they may have one person doing 50% of the job, another person doing the other 50%. I think the federal government should just come in and make up the difference in the salaries, just make up the difference to keep people employed.”

    Biden appeared to be referring to a $5 billion fund set up as a part of the 2009 stimulus that helped subsidize low-income workers. The federal government helped pay for the salaries of some workers in exchange for employers not laying people off.

    “Keep people on the payrolls and just have straight flat payment, a flat payment where the government pays half the salary of everybody on there,” Biden later added. “You can keep everybody doing half the work they were doing but everybody stays employed.”

    Sure. Why the hell not?

    “If they’re able to stay open”? Wouldn’t that mean not being forcibly shuttered by the government?

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Isn’t that what the recent stimulus bill did? The one that is already out of money and that the Dems don’t want to replenish.

      • R C Dean

        Other than healthcare, the stimulus bill makes the bailouts available to businesses that are closed by government order.

        They had to bail out healthcare because they managed to burn the healthcare sector in order to save it, or something.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    And, of course, Plagiarizin’ Joe doesn’t even cite the Germans as the source for his wonderful plan.
    It came to him in a dream, maybe.

    • Q Continuum

      Well, it’s not plagiarism if one of your staff writes it for you because your brain is applesauce and you can’t understand what you’re reading anyway.

      • leon

        Joe looks really bad. I don’t know if it’s because of years of excessive botox, or the dementia, but the lack of muscle control in part of his face is obvious.

        Of course maybe this will be hailed as a watershed moment. The US is no longer afraid to elect handicapped presidents. Gone are the days where FDR had to hide his wheelchair, and Regan’s staff had to hide his dementia. Now we can have our first openly handicapped president.

      • Q Continuum

        What scares me is that at best he’s a sockpuppet for Obama operatives, at worst a stalking horse for some truly execrable character like Harris.

      • Viking1865

        I mean, to anyone who’s been paying attention the last 4 years, the Democratic Party has made no secret of it. When you elect a Democrat President what you’re getting is someone who’s just there to sign off on stuff the bureaucracy comes up with. The country is government by the permanent governing class.

        People who are voting for Joe Biden don’t actually expect him to make decisions and push policy. The bureaucracy will do that, the benevolent experts will take care of everything. Their entire objection to Trump is that hes skeptical, in some cases, that the permanent bureaucrats are actually doing a good job.

        They’ve won the war. The normies have absolutely no issue with bureaucrats issuing regulations without any Congressional input at all. The Department of Whatever is just plain old good folks who do the right thing, and the President is just there to sign off on it all.

      • R C Dean

        I have little doubt they have put Gropey Joe on botox and likely collagen injections. Possibly a facelift, as well.

      • Lackadaisical

        ‘possibly’. Okay.

      • Rhywun

        IKR? You can actually see the edges of it.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Perhaps megadoses of Aricept?

    • leon

      Did his plan involve Make-Work-Camps?

      • RAHeinlein

        Don’t we already have those?

  56. RAHeinlein

    How does a group with 121 hotels qualify for the paycheck protection program? Not surprising the program is out of funds.

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s right in the name of the law itself- the Patel Protection Act.

      • Lackadaisical

        *sensible chuckle*

  57. westernsloper

    I am considering putting up a flag pole at the entrance to my driveway just to fly an American flag upside down.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Thinking more about a Gadsden flag, but don’t exactly want to put out a sign that says “Here be Guns”.

      • Mojeaux

        So an engraved boulder with “Molon labe, motherfuckers” would be a mite conspicuous?

      • Tejicano

        Deploy a tripod mounted, belt-fed machinegun on that boulder and you can be as conspicuous as you wish.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I have one sitting in the garage. Planned on putting it up a couple years ago but never got around to getting a flag pole.

    • Gender Traitor

      Gadsden or GTFO!

    • Count Potato

      Put a Jolly Roger on your boat.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    I am considering putting up a flag pole at the entrance to my driveway just to fly an American flag upside down.

    I have been thinking about that, too. All government buildings should be flying their flags upside down. But I don’t know the protocol; does the white flag of surrender go above, or below?

    • leon

      White flag is for Parley, not necessarily for surrender.

      • leon

        Wow… That was way more AKSHUALLY then i ever wanted to be. Sorry.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    And the propaganda machine grinds on

    Despite California being the most populous state in the country (by a lot) and containing at least two densely packed cities (Los Angeles and San Francisco) where the coronavirus was initially spreading like gangbusters, there have been fewer than 900 total deaths to date in the Golden State. And the number of deaths per 100,000 residents is just two — one of the lowest numbers in the entire country.

    Newsom deserves a lot of credit for those numbers. For starters, he was very much ahead of the curve when it comes to issuing a stay-at-home order for the state. Newsom issued the directive on March 19, making California the first state in the country to do so. (On the day Newsom announced the order, California had 675 cases and 16 deaths from coronavirus.)
    “This is not a permanent state, this is a moment in time,” Newsom said in explaining his decision at the time. “We will look back at these decisions as pivotal.”
    He was 100% right — in both his early decision to keep Californians at home and in the impact that move had.

    Maybe if we get on our knees and beg deep throat the glorious throbbing cock of AUTHORITAY, Newsom will consent to having the crown placed upon his reluctant brow.

    • Urthona

      The second most populous state — Texas — has deaths at half that rate. And no state lockdown was initiated.

      • leon

        I was actually going to say that the fact that they don’t mention the #1 state with the least deaths per 100,000 is probably because it is against the narrative being panited here. This is something that is fairly common in the opinion pieces of the day. If someone says “This is the second best state in X and here’s why” and then doesn’t mention the “Best state” then it’s for a reason. Krugman does this stuff all the time.

      • Urthona

        I mean California has 40,000,000 people and 1000 deaths. Texas has 30,000,000 people and 400 deaths.

        Texas has been pretty lenient with the lockdowns and my own county of over a million people basically has no special rules.

        ..

        Also didn’t the Israeli meta-study show strict lockdowns aren’t really making a difference?

        ..

        I think we need to push back on what is really necessary in all this. People can practice social distancing and still do things, and it doesn’t seem to make a difference.

      • Rhywun

        I’m not sure, but the constant media harping that “social distancing is working!” is really grating and leading me to think it’s BS.

    • leon

      I’m curous why the numbers are so low. IF i recall, other states followed suit fairly rapidly and were still hit pretty hard :cough:New Jersey:cough:

      • kbolino

        The disease looks to each state’s governor for guidance before deciding whether to spread there.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        Logically it must have been present in California and more widespread than any other state particularly in comparison to the east coast.

        I presented this argument at work and I think I got the crackpot label.

      • Urthona

        This is hardly a crackpot theory. Tons of disease experts have said the same thing.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        But it was concerned to be questioning authority and the fatality of corona

      • Rhywun

        The east coast got slammed by cases from Europe because there was no shutdown of flights until mid-March.

      • Urthona

        Also, for political reasons, they absolutely refused to shutdown public transportation.

      • Rhywun

        Shutting it down in NYC and friends would completely destroy the economy in those cities. I suppose you could force everyone into Ubers but that would quickly bankrupt a lot of people.

      • WTF

        Of course, California had already peaked some time ago, before the COVID-19 scare was a thing, and the cases were just chalked up to seasonal flu, because it was no worse than a bad flu season.

      • westernsloper

        I think Sloopy posted a link the other morning stating they have evidence with the antibodies tests that it was in fact in CA in Dec and probably Nov. If it was in CA then it was in all of the western states especially the ones with ski areas. CO has a lot of deaths per its size but they are actively trying to get those numbers up.

      • Drake

        The places in NJ where large numbers of people got it are where thousands of people were commuting into NYC daily on buses and trains. Some got it in New York then spread it around while packed into trains at rush hour.

      • Urthona

        I believe public transportation is a huge factor and places that hardly use it got off really lightly.

      • Rhywun

        Counter-point: Hong Kong

      • Count Potato

        Counter-counter-point: way more people in HK wear masks.

      • Rhywun

        True.

      • Urthona

        Also, HK has only tested 1000 people. This may be because few people have symptoms. Not sure.

      • Translucent Chum

        counter counter counter point. Detroit. No mass transit, 3rd most deaths. My guess is the co-morbidity will look like Italy.

      • Lackadaisical

        Because all their deaths came in Nov-March and are filed as pneumonia deaths, suspected (weren’t tested/ tested negative) flu.

        Cali already had the pandemic.

      • Lackadaisical

        Or what literally everyone else said. Fuck.

        Didn’t realize my talking points were so common now.

      • Shirley Knott

        I remain very curious about the effect, if any, of the warmer temperatures inn CA (&TX) compared with NY, NJ, MI, IL, et. al.
        This might be significant particularly if viral load contributes to severity of disease.

      • Urthona

        No question this is a factor as well. The same is probably even more true for Texas.

      • kbolino

        California’s big cities range from 25-50% of the density of New York but are on par with other East Coast cities like Philly or Boston.

    • Rebel Scum

      So…Newsom/Cuomo 2020?

  60. The Late P Brooks

    Here’s the thing though: Newsom’s performance in this most trying of times will be part of his biography — and the historical record — forever. If California’s coronavirus cases and deaths remain low — as a percentage of its massive population — the state (and Newsom) will almost certainly be seen as a shining example of how to handle a crisis.
    Which, whether or not he is getting much national attention right now, will be a major talking point for Newsom if and when — OK, let’s be honest here, when — he runs for president in either 2024 or 2028. As Democratic strategist Doug Herman told Politico’s David Siders in earlier this month:
    “When you’ve got governors with stratospheric approval ratings for their handling of the crisis and ratings that are 20 and 30 points higher than the president’s and you have governors from states like California and New York and Illinois leading the crisis response — all big-name, major-league governors — you’re going to see that leadership reflected in polls for the presidency in future election years.”
    That’s absolutely right. And Newsom will be at or near the front of that line due to the size and influence of his state and his ambitions. And those ambitions are clear to anyone paying attention. As legendary California political columnist Dan Walters wrote back in January:

    “It’s pretty obvious that the governor of California wants to be president of the United States someday. Willie Brown, the former Assembly speaker and Newsom’s political patron and predecessor as mayor of San Francisco, says in an interview with Politico, ‘he is still on track (for the White House), he’s doing what he needs to do…'”
    There’s no shame in ambition. (If there was, no one would ever be president — or run for it.) But what appeared to be the biggest knock on Newsom before the coronavirus pandemic — all ambition and no accomplishments — might have just disappeared over the past few months. And that’s a very big deal if Newsom wants to have a chance at being president one day.

    There’s no shame in ambition. As long as your name is not TRUMP, and your ambition is confined to the noble pursuit of telling other people how to live their lives.

    • Q Continuum

      CNN has a prostate massager named “California” that they have very special time with.

    • kbolino

      It’d be funny if Newson gets to take credit for California having more sprawl than New York in the party of Science! and The Environment!

    • leon

      Willie Brown said he was ambitious… And Willie brown is an

      Actually never-mind.

      • Rhywun

        wut

        That was supposed to say something like “this is what Newsome reminds me of”.

  61. RAHeinlein

    Cuomo issuing an EO requiring all private labs to prioritize Covid testing.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Doesn’t matter the letter after these folks names…they are all in on grabbing power.

    • Lackadaisical

      The wording could have interesting effects. I bet they do that already… depending on what prioritize means.

      • Drake

        They do it already because it’s the only business they are getting. Nobody is going in for check-ups for their cholesterol, Vitamin D, paps, etc…

        But those tests are only done on a few specialized machines, which is why Quest just furloughed a bunch of employees.

      • Lackadaisical

        Makes sense to me. Also, everybody are a bunch of pussies.

        If one assumed routine medical screenings prevented deaths (a big ass assumption, imo, but lets roll with it), then they could easily be causing umpteen deaths by stopping all that.

      • R C Dean

        “OK, we have a COVID test on a non-symptomatic person, and a STAT panel on somebody who is in the ICU. Sucks to be the decompensating ICU patient, I guess.”

  62. The Late P Brooks

    Cuomo issuing an EO requiring all private labs to prioritize Covid testing.

    It must feel fabulous to finally be rid of the petty constraints of the law and the Constitution.

    It’s good to be IMPERATOR.