Monday Afternoon Links

by | Apr 6, 2020 | Daily Links | 501 comments

Hi everyone. I’d like to thank everyone who covered for me last week. I was closing down the project I’ve been working on for the last two years. Supposedly, temporarily, but the client laid off 80% of their staff until the end of May, so I don’t have high hopes. Its like watching a baby bird get pushed out of the nest without all of its feathers grown in. I have one more week of work to do, and then I’m on the lay-off count myself. Well, I’ve actually got two weeks of PTO that I can take, and as of right now, as long as we have our PTO requests in before Thursday of the week before, they will let us take PTO and pay us. I never thought I’d be grateful to be able to take my own PTO six weeks ago. I’ve got a couple of leads on jobs, so I’m not worried about gold-brickin’ it on Trumpemployment for too long. Hopefully, everyone else who has been laid off has the same sort of prospects.

Abe brings his own $1T to the stimulus party.

I usually make fun of Group X Hardest Hit articles, but I can see where this is especially hard on teens. I had a good family, but being able to get away from them was necessary for my sanity. I felt helpless and useless enough without just sitting around all day, stuck at home. Hmm, now that I review those last two sentences, not as much has changed in the last 25 years.

I mean, it’s no SugarFree story, but damn

And here’s an article that made me check the date and make sure it wasn’t published last Wednesday.

Here’s my motivational message for the day.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

501 Comments

  1. grrizzly

    The author of the Atlantic article worked in Trump’s administration in 2017 and still has something positive to say about him. Remarkable.

    • bacon-magic

      Maybe the fact that the Atlantic published the article might be a bit more remarkable. TDS is strong in the media and among it’s worshipers.

  2. Not Adahn

    Sorry to go OT so early but…

    Does anyone need masks?

    My company has some and are letting us designate people to receive them from our supply. They are being disbursed in batches of 50 cleanroom type or 20 N95. The latter are reserved for health workers. I can list as many designees as I want, but once my first recipient is accepted, I go to the back of the line for successive ones.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ummm sure…

      Contact me at isellmasks@ebay.com

    • Sensei

      They are impossible to find here in NJ and I wouldn’t have cared, but it looks like I may not be able to leave the house without one.

      Worst case I use a bandanna. I’d rather they go to more at risk Glibs. But if you get no hits at all let me know!

      Thanks!

      • Rhywun

        Same.

        I have 9. They are available at gouge prices across the street if I run out.

    • Sensei

      They are impossible to find here in NJ and I wouldn’t have cared, but it looks like I may not be able to leave the house without one.

      Worst case I use a bandanna. I’d rather they go to more at risk Glibs. But if you get no hits at all let me know!

      Thanks!

      • Sensei

        Thanks from me and the squirrels!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Thank you NA! You might post it also in the help thread stickyed at the top on the main page.

      • Not Adahn

        Good idea.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    testing, testing… is this thing on?

      • Tonio

        There are no shithole countries.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Residents said it was being built in a crowded residential area, too close to their homes.

        What would you do if they built it next to your backyard?

      • Tonio

        Put on some popcorn and enjoy the NIMBY pants-shitting. I live in a gritty, blue-collar suburb that already has a (junkie) rehab program hosted in a nearby church, a plasma donation center (NIMBYs hated that shit, I laughed at them), and the eponymously-named “Asian Massage Parlor” (ditto).

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The last one is a YIMBY.

    • Gender Traitor

      You’ve been having trouble posting comments too?

    • Ted S.

      Nope.

    • Rebel Scum

      Testing…testes, testes, one, two…and three. We’re good.

  4. bacon-magic

    It amazes me that people are still shilling for China. When the whole truth comes out my opinion is that this might just start WWIII. I’m just all hope and enthusiasm today.

    And here’s an article that made me check the date and make sure it wasn’t published last Wednesday.

    • hayeksplosives

      Link?

      • bacon-magic

        Link to what? My brain. You don’t want to go there…

      • bacon-magic

        Ah that’s Brett’s link above lol.

      • hayeksplosives

        Ok,0 you meant original link.

        duh

        Thanks.

      • C. Anacreon

        Ok,0 you meant original link. duh

        Oh, I thought you were talking about Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp.
        Darn, we don’t talk about monkey tv shows on here nearly enough.

  5. Tundra

    Hello Brett.

    Sorry to hear about the job. It is astonishing to me how quickly the world is going to shit.

    You know, it’s almost as if the economy is an incredibly complex system that doesn’t respond well when you willy-nilly shut parts of it down. Let me say it again for the stupid people:

    There is no such thing as an unessential business.

    Fuck.

    Great song, though. I have one, too:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uV6-vY4O5us

    Obviously, if we can help with the search in any way, please let us know.

    • Fourscore

      Is a person is getting paid its an essential job. Even Mrs Fourscore understands that and takes her paycheck with a credit card on Amazon. How quickly they learn.

  6. hayeksplosives

    My employer has been as reasonable as possible while also keeping us working and in compliance with government “orders”.

    Today we got an email to the effect that we have to wear masks at work. So they are supplying cloth masks but inviting us to wear our own surgical mask or NE95.

    I hope this week really is the peak. It’s rainy and dreary too so people are tempted to congregate indoors.

    • Tundra

      I’ve only been to the office once since this shit started. There are only a couple people that must go in, so we all decided to stay away.

      Generally I hate the office. Now I kind of miss it.

      Also having lunch with Jimbo. Shockingly, I miss that too.

      • Fourscore

        Jimbo??

      • Tundra

        Well, I miss all of you. But Jimbo and I had been hitting this bar near us for lunch a couple times right before the clampdown.

      • bacon-magic

        So it was gettin’ serious?

      • Tundra

        I think I had a shot, yeah.

      • bacon-magic

        *high fives

      • Fourscore

        My only coffee buddies (both of them) have locked themselves down. While I think they are overly concerned they are old and not in the best of health.

        They need to lift more.

      • Tundra

        Not everyone can be strong, like bull Fourscore!

      • Pope Jimbo

        The secret to my success socially is that anyone who spends time with me comes away feeling so much better about themselves and the life choices they have made.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Test.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Oh sure. Now you work.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Harumph! I assure you good sir, I am not working now, and demand that you retract your scurrilous charge!

    • Ted S.

      I thought it never rained in Sandy Eggo.

      • C. Anacreon

        but girl, don’t they beg ya

    • Gustave Lytton

      My employer hasn’t mandated it, but is allowing privately owned masks and is supposed to be supplying some kind of cloth face covering. I’m expecting ski masks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Now some dipshits are trying to get logoed cotton masks made.

  7. Q Continuum

    Ain’t no party like a stimulus party ’cause a stimulus party don’t stop.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well at least not until you blow your load

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Come again?

  8. The Late P Brooks

    And yet even as the current emergency has proved him right in fundamental ways—about China specifically and foreign policy more generally—many respectable people in the United States are letting their disdain for the president blind them to what is really going on in the world. Far from discrediting Trump’s point of view, the COVID-19 crisis reveals what his strategy asserted: that the world is a competitive arena in which great power rivals like China seek advantage, that the state remains the irreplaceable agent of international power and effective action, that international institutions have limited capacity to transform the behavior and preferences of states.

    Fake news, from white power Trumpologist.

  9. cyto

    Congratulations to New York City! Today they might pass Hubei, China in total deaths from Covid-19! If not, some time in the next 48 hours seems a lock.

    This is quite a feat, as a city of only 8,6 million competing with a province of 58.5 million!

    Well done, Mayor De Blasio! Excellent assist from the progressives’ current “It-Boy” Governor Cuomo!

    • cyto

      And no posting new threads while I’m at peak snarkiness!

      • Tundra

        Peak snarkiness is identical to peak derp. There is no known upper limit.

        Particularly here.

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Pope Jimbo

        Glibs is like the Saudi Arabia of snark.

    • RAHeinlein

      And now they want to take over the USNS Comfort for Covid cases – that will work-out great for other cities/states that need the ship.

      • Tonio

        The whole point of sending the Comfort was to take the trauma cases. That’s what that ship is, a giant fricking trauma unit. The purpose of sending it was to allow the local hospitals to take all the medical (ie, COVID-19) cases, and let trauma patients get treated in a (hopefully) Coronavirus-free environment.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Between the prescreening and patient mix, they weren’t taking much of anything. And there does seems to be a need for hospital beds.

        A bigger concern is whether a ship like the Comfort can prevent spread and not end up like the cruise ships. Or the Roosevelt.

      • Tonio

        I’m wondering if this was also done as a test, to see if the military could deal with trauma cases in an epidemic zone without infecting the crew and controlling spread to other patients. We might reasonably face a need to do that in the near future.

        My understanding is that bed space, per se, is not a current problem. Particularly with the Samaritan’s Purse field hospital spooling up.

      • Rhywun

        One of those model sites linked earlier is still claiming that New York is thousands of beds short for the “peak day” that’s coming this week.

        Oh here it is.

        Notably, the “total number of beds” needed went from 60K-something to 25K.

      • Rhywun

        Here“, even.

      • grrizzly

        You can download their data at the bottom of the page. I should have saved their previous forecasts, too.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah but I’ve already put more effort into this stuff than I care to today. I am glad it’s there for folks who like crunching numbers more than I do.

      • Tonio

        “Xenu coming…”

    • Tonio

      USA, USA…

      • cyto

        This guy gets it!

    • hayeksplosives

      Those guys have zero appeal outside New York. I’m not concerned about them running the Dem table.

    • Ted S.

      This of course presumes that you can trust Red Chinese statistics.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        A which, of course, you can’t. In fact, only a damn fool would.

      • Not Adahn

        *Vox writer’s ears perk p*

    • Rhywun

      Deaths in NYC are flattening. At least for 2 days now.

      • AlmightyJB

        ?

      • Rhywun

        ?

  10. Tonio

    COBOL-coding volunteers sought as slammed mainframes slow New Jersey’s [state government’s] coronavirus response.

    For you young whippersnappers, COBOL is an ancient programming language from the mainframe and punch=card era; it was on the way out (ie, used only for maintaining legacy apps), when I was in college.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Adama hardest hit

      • Rebel Scum

        Frack that.

    • cyto

      No… that’s a joke.

      That has to be a joke!

      COBOL on mainframe was excusable 20 years ago as a legacy. But in 2020? Are you effing kidding me? Building something better with today’s tools is not exactly like digging the English channel.

      • Mad Scientist

        It is if you’re a government agency. Anything to private sector can do with a million buck and 6 months takes government 30 million and 5 years…to discover they’ve done it wrong and the whole thing has to be scrapped.

      • cyto

        Actual fact.

        How much did they spend on that rebuild of the FBI computer system? It might have been a billion. Anyway, they threw it away. (Twice, I think)

      • Mad Scientist

        Last time I heard, the IRS was running 8 different, and incompatible, sets of software due to various failed attempts at modernizing.

      • Pope Jimbo

        As of three years ago, the govt had not certified Linux as a secure OS, so you could not use it for govt projects. A solution we were looking to buy had a contract with the VA that was using Sun Solaris as the OS because of that. The company had a solution for private companies that used Linux and was able to operate for about a tenth of the price.

      • Mad Scientist

        Is anyone doing any sort of maintenance on Solaris? Has Sun made any new hardware since even before Oracle bought them?

      • Pope Jimbo

        I don’t think so. But I was psyched because my first job ran a ton of stuff (mid ’90s) on servers using Sun Solaris. But it had been certified by the govt as “secure” so it lives on.

      • DEG

        The last Solaris release was 11.4 in late 2018. I think Oracle is still supporting it. Given the number of years between releases, I wouldn’t be surprised to see another release next year.

        There were some open source forks resulting from the OpenSolaris project. Nexenta comes to mind which I think is dead.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Solaris 1.1.2 4EVA! Fuck SVR4.

      • cyto

        And I do mean that quite literally. Given a decent set of specifications, I’d bet that Glibertarians could cobble together a team that could build something that runs on AWS and would smoke their system. It really is inexcusable to be limping along some 30 years after it was time to start making a switch.

      • invisible finger

        I’m not spending one goddamned minute building a government computer system.

      • Rhywun

        And not getting paid for it.

      • Tres Cool

        Learn….

      • cyto

        Hehehe….. That made me REALLY laugh….

        But I bet you would if we got the contract. We could probably charge them $300 per hour, each, and then have a $30 million pot to split at the end. Bonus profit if we get a VAR license with whatever products we decide to use.

        Oh… and we’ll charge the customary 18% annual maintenance fee….

        Downside is we’d probably have to hire a couple of hundred technical writers and paralegals. to fill out all the government paperwork… But on the plus side we get to bill them out at a 60% markup….

      • invisible finger

        LOL. Illinois doesn’t pay its bills, and they won’t be the only one.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        The problem is the spec is “Make it exactly the same logic as the current system” and that is a tortuous mess that has evolved change by undocumented change over the past 40 years.

        This keeps coming up in large payroll systems, but banks and other entities are no different.

        You think you would have 20-30 categories of employee? Well, each labor negotiation round created a new set or pre and post employees. Oh, and that guy?.. well he was a special exception from the merger of 1983. These groups have monthly amortization… these yearly, and that set, 365/360 loans.
        These rules are for the Past 180 days… These rules are the previous 6 months and expire on the last day of the month.. endless.

      • cyto

        True story… in automating the financials that existed in multiple excel spreadsheets that were aggregated up through departments, the spec we received for our new reporting package as a part of the migration to enterprise level accounting software was “All the reports”.

        When I asked exactly what they meant, they stated “You know, the usual reports….. all of them…. just the standard reports that come with it.”

        It took months to convince them that there is no such thing as “the standard reports that come with it” in an enterprise reporting package.

        Double bonus – their chart of accounts didn’t roll up. So I had to build a custom mapping tool so they could assign which accounts should roll up on which reports under which headings.

        Good luck replicating that 10 years down the road….

      • Shirley Knott

        A decent set of specifications for government software? They don’t have source code.* They don’t have requirements documentation. They can’t even count how many Federal laws there are. They certainly can’t assemble the complete set of legal requirements.
        But the biggest problems remains the same as they ever were — they don’t have the budget, the software works, for a governmental definition of ‘works’, and no manager wants to take on a rewrite of existing undocumented code.

        * [in 1990 Adele Goldberg of ParcPlace Systems, previously at Xerox, reported that a survey of Fortune 500 companies reported fewer than 80% of business systems had source code]

      • cyto

        Ouch!

        One reason I fought tooth and nail to keep everything in-house.

      • Shirley Knott

        AIUI, most if not all of this was in house. These were considered ‘old’ or ‘legacy’ programs and retention of documentation for requirements, test cases, change requests, etc., were easily flushed. This became even easier when “responsibility” for requirements, design, and testing moved out of development into their own fiefdoms.

      • kbolino

        Until you discover the 86-year-old who enters accounts in some distant office who can’t be retrained and only knows the mainframe system.

        And the office that uses it to do something it was never intended to do but can’t part with it.

        Oh, and you can get another $500,000 if you just add this one simple feature to it.

        You’re going to migrate the old database, right? Every single row and column has to be preserved, including the ones for which no living person can explain their purpose or meaning.

        This has to comply with state rules on privacy, storage, retention, and security. These arcane rules were first devised in 197X and make no sense but have to be followed, not just as written but as interpreted by lawyers who are now retired or dead.

        That piece of inline assembly in the COBOL that you thought you understood? Turns out you didn’t. Nobody did. But it did something really important and now your data is corrupt.

        Yadda yadda…

      • kbolino

        None of which is to say it can’t be replaced. It absolutely can, and in fact should be (the lack of hireable people who can maintain it being a prime reason). But it has to be done piece by painstaking piece. First you’d need to spend time understanding the existing system and deciding where the first piece to cleave off is. Then you achieve success with it, and make the case to get another piece, so on and so forth.

        However, this does not sound appealing to somebody who wants to build a civil service career quickly by taking credit for others’ work and stabbing everyone else in the back. Nor to a company that wants an $XXX million contract but can “promise” you their solution will do everything you ever wanted better than you could even dream (plus those sweet kickbacks!). Then there’s explaining to people too dumb to understand what a computer actually is and too senior in position to care why this is necessary and they should give you time and support for it.

      • invisible finger

        Yup. You get all that resistance in the private sector, but the public sector is 10x worse.

      • Shirley Knott

        I think you’re off by at least 2 orders of magnitude, but yeah.

      • Pope Jimbo

        At one of my gigs I hired a developer away from the IT shop for Minensoda’s Dept of Natural Resources. He was looking for a new gig because he couldn’t hack the govt IT lifestyle any more.

        Nothing could ever be put out on the cloud. Too “insecure”. Sure you have an app that simply lets people search for lakes and get maps and other info about them, but think of the ramifications if that data was leaked because it was on a public cloud.

        From the time you requested a server until the time you could access it and use it was 9 months. Took the IT shop 9 months to purchase, rack, and provision a server. So no matter what else you did in a month, you requested as many new servers as your budget could handle. You didn’t know what they’d be used for, but you did know you’d probably need new servers for something in 9 months.

      • Tonio

        [weeps, and embraces kbolino]

      • Tres Cool

        The steel mill I used to work for had a robust AS400 system, which to me seemed archaic, but our IT guys loved it.

        *SLD Im an environmental guy, not IT, so I dont know anything

      • Tonio

        Hahahahaha…

      • kbolino

        “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

        That having been said, if you haven’t got anyone who knows COBOL and you stopped paying IBM $$$ for support (or you’ve got some non-IBM mainframe whose vendor went out of business decades ago), you’re not being smart.

      • invisible finger

        There’s .NET versions of COBOL. I’ve ported COBOL code from mainframes to Windows, the amount of work to do so is minimal. The harder part is moving from ISAM files to a relational database, but there are probably NoSQL solutions.

        The bigger problem is ALL computer solutions become obsolete. A functioning market economy generally makes business keep up as best they can, as they are used to capital expenses and competition, but government (outside of defense and maybe treausry because competing foreign governments) is immune to such things.

      • kbolino

        Hmm, I’d be interested to know how well COBOL on mainframe ported to some runtime (.NET, Java, platform native, etc.) on modern PCs actually works. Mainframes could give you a much lower level of access, and make stronger guarantees (yes, your job is quite literally the only thing the entire machine is doing, there is no O/S, the drivers make DOS look fancy, etc.) Of course, the lack of RAM and the much slower latencies and bandwidths might offset any advantage the mainframe had. But a critical task getting preempted is not something you had to worry about on mainframe…

      • Tonio

        When I was moving I threw away a FORTRAN ’77 compiler for x86. It was on floppy, can’t remember whether 5.25″ or 3.5″. I wish I’d have at least photographed the cover page and media.

      • kbolino

        There is a lot of FORTRAN still running out there, too. Maybe even more than COBOL. Of course, “some research code” written in slapdash C might top FORTRAN for difficulty modernizing/porting.

      • Mojeaux

        Back in 1993 or somewhere thereabouts, my brother, who was self-taught in ancient ancient computer languages got a sweet gig straight out of high school for $30k (a decent salary back then for a single dude with no debt). He still has an open ticket just about anywhere he wants to go at whatever price.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        There’s a d00d here in Edmonton who’s made a sweet, sweet living out of collecting and maintaining old, old, OLD data reading/recording equipment of every conceivable vintage, and sells access to this equipment to port data on obsolete media over to whatever the client wants. Some of the contracts he’s received have had eye-popping numbers attached to ’em. I’m surprised at the number of orgs that have important data on obsolete media and no way to retrieve it.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Back in 2000 Lawson Software was based on a ton of COBOL. Their rationale was “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Their software had passed a shit ton of audits and their fear was if they updated to some new technology, some of the accounting rules might be nadvertently changed. Who needs that?

        Part of me wants to believe that they have updated since then, but it is hard to convince a company that is making a lot of money that they need to change.

      • hoof_in_mouth

        Still COBOL as of 2019. They have non-cobol versions of most stuff but I’m not sure what is verified. We (a large annuity provider) still run COBOL as our main policy and account bucketing. We have stood up and retired an enterprise replacement for it and migrated the data back to the mainframe. We’re on generation 2 or 3 of distance from the people that understood how to run the business (vs how to run the computer) and it shows.

      • cyto

        This is extremely insightful. At the start, everyone knows how to run the business. It runs on paper and phone calls and walking over to the desk down the hall. Then, once things are settled in and everything is big enough – you start automating. Pretty soon, knowing how to close a deal, execute a contract or fulfill an order consists of knowing what buttons to click and what to type in a little box.

        At the most-of-the-way-there point of that in our business, I went in and implemented a quick work-around in the accounting department. It was supposed to hold them over for 2 weeks while we built the real solution. Real solution went in and everyone was happy, so I left and didn’t look back.

        Two years later I’m in that department helping with something and I notice my little workaround. “What are you doing here?” I asked. She explained the procedure she was following….. my 2 year old workaround, still being followed by the latest robot… a TPS report getting generated for no reason and passed off to a suspenders and coffee mug boss who didn’t understand what it was for. Next meeting I suggested they get rid of it, since it was just a workaround. Everyone objected. It was the most important report they have!!

        They had built an entire process, with dozens of people touching a spreadsheet to get a number for the GL. I asked them to show me….. they did.

        And then I showed them the same number on the real report we built 2 years ago. The one that was supposed to generate the GL entry automatically every night.

        Now I was worried… had we been double entering that number?

        No… don’t worry… they were using this process to verify the GL entry.

        No lie. They were taking my little workaround spreadsheet, passing it around to a bunch of people to manipulate and verify….. to match a number that was spit out by code every night.

        They still didn’t want to get rid of it even after I told them it was the same number coming from the exact same data source. They objected because the number didn’t always match. So I asked them what ended up happening when they didn’t match…. well, you see… they’d spend all day looking for where the numbers didn’t match up. The answer – someone made a mistake in their spreadsheet…..

        The fact that the CFO was not outraged at their idiocy should have given me pause. He was actually on their side and wanted to keep running it for another month to make sure that it was indeed the same number. Two senior controllers, 4 senior staff accountants…. every day…. for hours…. for two years. And the CFO for a couple of hours a week. Dipshits should have given me a million dollar bonus for getting rid of that nonsense….. and it still took me a month of meetings and presentations to get them to quit wasting all that time.

      • Rhywun

        LOL I had something very similar. You can only shake your head.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Oh, man. This entire thread is triggering for me. I’m flashing back to when I was part-owner of a software development company. All the meetings with corporate clients. All the insanely out-of-date legacy systems. All of the hairball code with entire sections commented with stuff like “What follows is incredibly crufty. Don’t fuck with it.”
      Kill it! KILL IT ALL WITH FIRE!

      • Pope Jimbo

        I have the exact opposite reaction. Crap like that was what made a few of the startups I worked at profitable. Once you got your foot in the door and proved you could get things done, those contracts were like sure money. You could staff them with a few junior developers and have one senior guy to manage it all.

        All that money helped you bankroll the other swings for the fences you would be trying.

        And there is no shortage to bad code/bad implementations out there.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        . . . there is no shortage to bad code/bad implementations out there.

        Yeah, that’s true. One the other hand, if you’re an actual believer in progress, seeing these organizations hopelessly mired in shit systems that they could. not. extract. themselves. from. was incredibly discouraging. I’m not sad that I got out of those gigs and retired.

      • Shirley Knott

        Amen++

    • Ozymandias

      That’s pretty solid.

    • AlmightyJB

      Which one of you guys is this?

      • Drake

        I wish I wrote Freehold.

    • Tundra

      Excellent. Thank you.

    • Hyperion

      “not a single report from China regarding anything can be trusted”

      Well, that much is certainly true. China are the CNN of nations.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Well that is a breath off fresh air. I’m going to savor it a few minutes more before I remember that the people who nod along to that are a tiny minority of the populace.

  11. RAHeinlein

    Sorry to hear about the work situation. Thanks for the links and remembering the younger generation is also suffering.

    • Tundra

      How’s your kid doing? Finishing up online, I assume?

      • RAHeinlein

        He’s doing well, all online through this semester (ends next week) and also May Term. No room/board refunds, so I’m seething a-bit. He’s busy studying for his SOA P Exam (fingers crossed they have testing open in July), and just picked-up a part-time job at Walmart (surprisingly decent pay).

        How’s everything in the Tundra household?

      • Tundra

        Things are fine. Kids are bored and disgusted with the theater. My son is concerned that the internship he had set up is gonna crater, but he has fallback job prospects. Daughter misses her friends and being ridiculously busy all the time!

        Good luck to the boy on the big test!

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Today we got an email to the effect that we have to wear masks at work.

    Draw a cat face on it.

    • Not Adahn

      If I only had the ability to produce masks with Mikey’s avatar on it, I’d make eleventybillion dollars.

    • pistoffnick

      with actual whiskers.

  13. leon

    Commenting from me mobile. I can’t login on the computer. Tried clearing cookies, restarting browser. Get a 418 error.

    • The Hyperbole

      Shit, Leon found a work around.

      • Q Continuum

        Quick, block him again!

      • leon

        HA! I’m Back!

        Can’t keep me do- Hey! Stop HEY!!!

        :Dragged away from machine:

  14. Rebel Scum

    just sitting around all day, stuck at home.

    But those are the best days!

  15. westernsloper

    Sorry about the job Brett. Losing a job because of market forces is one thing. Losing a job due to government idiocy is another.

  16. hayeksplosives

    I do feel a bit bad for high schoolers missing prom, graduation, one more shot at the SAT or ACT, the college athletes in NCAA leagues who will now not have that “senior year” (the real talent will still get drafted), and the Olympic athletes.

    Olympians train to peak every 4 years. This will impact outcomes.

    Yeah, not tragedy, but I spare a thought for them.

    • RAHeinlein

      And the new/future grads who will face a cluster-fuck job market.

    • DEG

      #1’s eyes look dead.

      #12 looks fun.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      20 looks a lot like an old gf of mine (who sadly only had b-cups).

  17. Rebel Scum

    Chillingly real ‘deepfake’ of Hillary — as imprisoned Hannibal Lecter

    For some reason this made me laugh.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Fortunately, I cannot read the article, because WaPo website apparently hates my computer.

    WaPo headline:

    Here comes the great deflation threat

    yeah. Production of virtually everything is plummeting, and the Federal Reserve is creating money as if there’s no tomorrow. Deflation is what we need to be on the lookout for. Now my head hurts.

    • Fourscore

      Kids’ allowances hardest hit

    • AlmightyJB

      Pretty sweet tatas as well

    • Q Continuum

      Holly Goodhead is pretty good too.

    • C. Anacreon

      All the pre-current era Bond movies are free streams on Comcast right now.
      We started with Dr. No last night and I’ll at least take my wife through the Connery flicks as we continue to shelter.
      Amazingly enough, she had never seen any Bond movie in the series before “The Spy Who Loved Me”, and had always thought of Sean Connery as a grumpy old man.
      Seeing him in Dr. No yesterday evening she was stunned. “He’s incredibly handsome, sophisticated and charming!” Yeah, ya think?

      • Tundra

        My son loves the Bond flicks. A few years ago, we bought him the box set of all the movies. He still watches them. Connery and Craig are his favorites.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Connery and Craig are his favorites.

        Kid’s got good taste.

      • Tundra

        He didn’t get it from his mom. She likes Goldeneye best 😉

      • Mad Scientist

        Xenia Onatop!

      • Tundra

        Yeah, she was smokin’.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        “Ewwwwwww, gross!”  /end teenage girl mode

  19. grrizzly

    Apparently Boris Johnson is staying at St Thomas’ Hospital that’s right across the river from Westminster.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Jeez, he’s in the hospital?

      • grrizzly

        Today he was moved to intensive care.

      • invisible finger

        Will be interesting to see what medications he was denied.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I actually like Boris as far as politicians go. Hopefully he pulls through OK.

      • kbolino

        His coronavirus response was somewhat creepy to me. “Stay home, protect the NHS, save lives” has an odd middle to it. I know it’s not nearly the size of the NHS, but there’s private medicine in Britain, too. Then he was clapping for the NHS on his doorstep.

        That having been said, he’s now at their tender mercies, so maybe it was a smart move.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He may be at their tender mercies but I suspect he’ll get privileged treatment.

      • kbolino

        The NHS ain’t exactly a hotbed of Tory voters.

      • grrizzly

        I think they’ll put an effort. If the things don’t go well, there will be an investigation and somebody will be blamed. Nobody wants that.

      • Urthona

        Aren’t your odds of survival really poor if you have to go to the icu?

      • AlmightyJB

        I think the ventilator is the really bad news.

      • Tonio

        Even before this, ventilator was not a good thing.

      • Tres Cool

        I saw Mama Tres on one after a surgery where she’d crashed and went into RA.

        Its nothing like what you see on ER, let me tell ya.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Give that man some hydroxychloroquine, stat! Seriously, do that, it sounds like it actually does work.

  20. leon

    Well a full 1% of Utah population has been tested

    • Tres Cool

      whats that? 30 of em ?

      • leon

        10, but Look we are pretty sure we have a CV case or two…

  21. Certified Public Asshat

    Already posted?

    WATCH: A drone was seen flying over a Manhattan park on Saturday, urging pedestrians to “maintain social distancing.” pic.twitter.com/VuNu1etBnW— CBS News (@CBSNews) April 5, 2020

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How ChiCom of them.

    • mrfamous

      I wonder how you translate “we’re all in this together” into the original German?

      • See Double You

        “Arbeit macht frei”?

    • Ted S.

      “Get’s” is never worth it.

      • Q Continuum

        Thank’s four the help.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Walker, who will now be left stuck on 48 caps, made his last England appearance as a substitute in the game against Switzerland in the Nations League finals last June.

      Southgate went on to axe him from his next squad and has not picked him since.

      Sounds like he was done anyway. And I can’t really answer without seeing pics of the ladies.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        He was already done.

    • Rhywun

      Man City. Don’t give a fuck.

      • Ted S.

        EPL. Don’t give a fuck.

        (Apparently they were bitching about the pay cuts during the lockdown claiming it was taking money away from the NHS.)

      • Certified Public Asshat

        A real league has the same team win every year.

  22. Hyperion

    I posted something about this a few days ago. But I went down to the local deli yesterday to get some beer and their doors were locked. I told my wife ‘Wow, I’ve never seen those guys closed at 2pm on a Sunday, I hope they aren’t going under because of this Coronavirus shit’.

    Everyone goes in there on Sunday to get alcohol because it’s the only local place open that sells alcohol on Sunday. They’re always busy on Sunday.

    Sadly, I just found out, they’re closing their doors after 59 years in business in that same spot.

    Just have to wonder how many other small businesses are going away because of this.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Well a full 1% of Utah population has been tested

    Close enough for government work.

    • Fourscore

      I’m more concerned with the results of the testing.

    • Urthona

      You can’t get a test without symptoms so it’s really just a sign there’s not much covid there.

  24. DEG

    Brett, best wishes for your job situation.

    Japan is committing nearly $1 trillion to try to protect its economy from the fallout from the coronavirus pandemic.

    A trillion dollars there, a trillion dollars here, pretty soon you’re talking real money.

    What would Hillary Clinton look like imprisoned, and as psycho killer Hannibal Lecter?

    Watch as “her” eyes move and lips wrinkle in a stunningly realistic way:

    It’s fitting in a way.

  25. B.P.

    At the end of last week, the governor of my state urged everyone to wear a mask when going outside. The weather was quite nice out this past weekend, so I spent some time in the park down the street. The park was crowded, and compliance with the governor’s plea couldn’t have been higher than 5%. I decided to go over to Next Door to luxuriate in some premium pants shitting. They did not disappoint. All of the junior members of the Stasi on that website are begging the governor to make the mask-wearing a requirement, and are disgusted at the reckless behavior of the “Fox viewers” (actual remark in one post) disregarding the governor’s call. They really, really want to be ruled over.

    • commodious spittoon

      “You can’t arrest me! I only took my mask off so I could properly scream at those people for not wearing masks!”

    • DEG

      It sounds like NextDoor and Reddit attract the same type of folks.

    • Rhywun

      I’ve thought of joining NextDoor but then I remembered I dropped Facebook et al. for a reason.

      • B.P.

        It’s a weird mix of people complaining about neighbors, saying nice things about area businesses, panicking about people doing mundane things (“Someone took a picture outside my house!”), reporting package thefts, whining, etc. Sometimes people help find lost pets, which is nice.

      • Pope Jimbo

        My crazy neighbor across the street is on there I bet. She was doing that crap back when you had to actually run down your neighbors outside so you could tell them all about the suspicious car you noticed cruising down our streets. (She always thought that they were there to kidnap her daughters. I never had the heart to tell her that if their eyesight was good enough to drive, it meant that her kids were safe).

        The best is about 4 years ago she actually did help the cops nail some house burglars. She saw a suspicious car again and called it in. A cop noticed the car parked in a nearby parking lot and looked in the back seat where there were a lot of items that had been stolen from neighborhood houses. (He didn’t know they’d been stolen, but I guess it looked strange and he waited till the geniuses came out and when they saw him they started running).

        She’s still talking about that.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Is that a social media service where you interact with local idiots rather than idiots from all over the world or something?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Its was okay to get stuff on the cheap from neighborhood peoples…

        But it quickly devolved into an online busy body hangout and gossip channel.

        I mean in our neighborhood they are taking pictures of kids and then complaining they are outside! OUTSIDE!!!

        Fucking cuntes

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We’ve received multiple invitations to that site. My response to my wife was always “no fucking way”. It was guaranteed to devolve a bunch of clucking hens.

    • westernsloper

      I ran to a store twice today. I ran to Wmart for charcoal and a toaster oven. There were more people wearing masks than not. Mostly elderly. Went to the hardware store for some cutting discs and seemed it was almost entirely only employees wearing them. The few customers wearing them were elderly. I would have worn mine but I forgot it both times.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You’re as good as dead

      • westernsloper

        Well that goes without saying. I am in the camp of we should be wearing masks every flu season, not just because of the plague. You might concur if you had ever been in my wmart. Lots of filthy people with snot covered children running amuck. Hence why I have always shopped early morning but that is now reserved for the over 60’s.

    • Mad Scientist

      Nextdoor is fine keeping up on who’s house or car was broken into recently. Otherwise, it’s a mess of barely literate pants shitting.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    That having been said, if you haven’t got anyone who knows COBOL and you stopped paying IBM $$$ for support (or you’ve got some non-IBM mainframe whose vendor went out of business decades ago), you’re not being smart.

    Seriously. Are we supposed to believe no programming updates or maintenance has been done on these systems for forty years?

  27. commodious spittoon

    Rose McGowan scraps with Alyssa Milano over Biden endorsement:

    You are a fraud. This is about holding the media accountable. You go after Trump & Kavanaugh saying Believe Victims, you are a lie. You have always been a lie. The corrupt DNC is in on the smear job of Tara Reade, so are you. SHAME

    Trumpian eloquence.

    • Ted S.

      Rose McGowan is the one who raped Harvey Weinstein, right?

      • bacon-magic

        She was ostracized for calling out hollywood hypocrisy.

      • Mojeaux

        I believe she and Milano have a tiff going back to Charmed.

      • C. Anacreon

        Yes, back then Milano changed Rose into a newt, although Rose got better. Still holds a grudge though.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      #BelieveWomen does not mean everyone gets to accuse anyone of anything and that’s that. It means that our societal mindset and default reaction shouldn’t be that women are lying.(Keep reading)— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) April 6, 2020

      Sure Jan.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Zero tolerance. If we don’t hold all accountable for horrible behavior — nothing changes. Sorry, @SenAlFranken you should not be in a position to represent the female constituents in your state. https://t.co/MrJi7QKCu1— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) November 16, 2017

        This take needs reheated I guess.

      • leon

        Did she go through and delete all her tweets during the Kavanaugh debacle? or is she that far gone?

      • Hyperion

        Stop being mean. It’s quite apparent that she’s suffered some form of brain damage at some point in time.

      • Shirley Knott

        Some people were dropped on their heads as children. Others appear to have been flung with great force from the top of the stairs.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      St. Nicholas believe it or not. Ho, Ho, Ho indeed.

    • Chafed

      She’s still a thing?

  28. Private Chipperbot

    R.I.P. Al Kaline

    broke into the major leagues with the Tigers as such a fresh-faced 19-year-old that ballpark security didn’t actually believe he was a player, and then went on to a Hall-of-Fame career amid six decades in professional baseball, has died. He was 85.

    A family friend and a family member confirmed to The News that he died Monday. Kaline, according to the family friend, had recently suffered a stroke.

    • Gustave Lytton

      RIP Honor Blackman too.

    • C. Anacreon

      I always thought it would have been cool if Al Kaline could have platooned with a player name A. Cidic, depending on the pH of the pitcher that day.
      RIP. Great player.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Do you even know anything? Everyone knows that A. Cidic could never cut it in the major leagues. He can’t get on base to save his life.

  29. Certified Public Asshat

    If Cash 4 Clunkers was so bad, why does Ford want to do it again?

    “Cash for clunkers was very effective at that time,” LaNeve said. “It would be nice to think we could have something equally as effective for 2020 when we get out of this because it was a great program.”

    U.S. Representative Debbie Dingell, a Michigan Democrat whose district is home to Ford’s headquarters, said a vehicle scrappage or purchase incentive to spur demand has been discussed as a possible form of relief for the industry, but said no consensus has been reached on the issue.

    • Tundra

      No.

      Just no.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Fuck that shit, you can’t find any good Japanese cars from the ‘90s because of that nonsense.

      • Hyperion

        Someone should ask Biden about that dimwitted scheme. He probably doesn’t even remember him and Obama touting it all over the TV screen.

      • Rhywun

        That would seem to describe the assholes who are among the only vehicles driving (speeding) around my neighborhood at all hours, setting off car alarms, and generally making me edgy. There are numerous two-wheeled equivalents, too.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Dingell… that name sounds familiar for some reason…

      • C. Anacreon

        If she married Marion Berry, she’d be Debbie Dingell-Berry.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Shit set me up!

      • Spudalicious

        I seriously laughed at that.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Just die already.

    • Tres Cool

      I bet she’s a blast at parties.

    • RAHeinlein

      It’s OK when Cuomo talks about it. WTF with these people and Trump talking about hydroxychloroquine – his statements are relatively innocuous.

      • Hyperion

        It makes about as much sense as Putin stealing our democracy. So there you have it.

      • RAHeinlein

        Maybe Biden will team-up with Theranos again for a high-tech solution.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They’ve raised such an uninformed stink about it that they can’t afford for Trump to be correct.

    • Hyperion

      There really is no peak derp.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The thing is, all you have to do is take ten minutes to research hydroxychloroquine to see that it has a lot of promise and probably works, especially when given with other medications. These people are dangerously fucking deluded and they need to shut the hell up.

      • Hyperion

        But bad orange man!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’m becoming convinced they’ll see people die unnecessarily before they’ll admit chloroquine is a good thing for this disease. It’s ghoulish.

      • Drake

        Already there.

      • C. Anacreon

        In their minds it’s never helped anyone, but killed the aquarium cleaner-drinking guy in Arizona, so proof it’s highly dangerous poison and Trump is trying to kill everyone.

        Add to that, someone on Facebook yesterday posted “On Palm Sunday Pontius Pilate washed his hands of responsibility for Christ, just like Donald Trump has done to our country via his zero action to help Americans during the Covid crisis”
        Had a lot of likes.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I knew people were deranged regarding Trump so the Pontias Pilate metaphor doesn’t surprise me but I didn’t think it would extend to denigrating an effective drug that might benefit themselves and people they care for. It seems like a desire for self-preservation would override political animosity but I guess not.

      • Hyperion

        If Trump says the Pope is a good guy, you’ll see them advocating for sending the old guy in the funny hat to the gas chambers. They’re seriously that deranged. Not even sure how anyone could doubt that at this point.

      • Urthona

        Really?

    • leon

      He’s practically prescribing Zyklon B to us!

      • Tres Cool

        Really opens the sinuses tho.

    • leon

      Hahahaha. I love it. Why would they delete it tho? Don’t they want to highlight the problem of having racists in such places of power?

    • Hyperion

      I was looking at that and saw this.

      LOLOLOL

      Holy fucking shit, my sides are hurting from laughing so hard.

      The dems are running this guy for president! Haahhaahhaha!!! Oh god, make it stop!

      • Tres Cool

        Whew…he’s a mess.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I actually feel bad for the guy.

      • Pope Jimbo

        In a decent world, Biden’s handlers would stop this madness. Congress should subpoena the asses that are assigned to get him dressed and fed every morning and grill them about why they’d help put a senile man in the Oval Office.

      • Hyperion

        I can only think it has to be the same globalist elite crowd who got Obama elected. They know old Joe will sell your mama into slavery in a Chinese sweatshop in a heartbeat.

      • Count Potato

        Wow.

    • KSuellington

      Ha, ha, ha! NBC actually put that tweet out there for a while before they realized what they did. Incredible how stupid these people are.

    • Count Potato

      LOL

    • Rebel Scum

      Awesome.

    • Chafed

      Where’s the honeymoon video?

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Something tells me that it is just more cosplay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  30. Count Potato

    Has anyone else had problems? Glibs stopped loading, then I couldn’t log in for about two hours?

    • Hyperion

      seems fine to me.

    • Tres Cool

      Its because Jesus saw you touching yourself, Kent.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        +1 Bowl of Jello

      • Tres Cool

        “It was hot and I was hungry!”

      • Pope Jimbo

        It wasn’t that he was touching himself, it was what he was watching while touching himself.

        I’m sure Jesus blushed when he saw the parts that CP was attaching to his Real Mrs. Potato Head Doll.

    • Count Potato

      Huh, I wonder what is was then.

    • kbolino

      Democracy is all of us getting to choose the form of the destroyer panicky wannabe fascist dictators.

    • leon

      He summoned lawmakers from the Republican-led chambers to consider legislation to move the primary to mid-May and mandate the use of mail-in absentee ballots for all voters save the disabled,

      We are super serious about our democracy by making sure to use one of the least secure ways to conduct elections!

    • Hyperion

      This has always struck me as a blatantly obvious attempt, by democrats, to cheat in elections.

      “Republicans passed a series of voter-ID laws”

      Democrats hardest hit.

      Are there any other countries that allow non-citizens to vote in elections? Because if you do not have to have a valid ID to vote, you can vote if you’re a non-citizen. You could also vote as many times as you want at different polling places.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        In local elections? Plenty.

      • Hyperion

        Parsing that thing looks too daunting a task for me at the moment.

      • Urthona

        I think there’s a reasonable argument for letting non-citizens vote in local elections. We’re not talking illegal immigrants. We are talking Non-citizens. They work legally. Pay taxes. Go to the schools.

      • Hyperion

        Democrats are not going to like you. People who came here legally and are paying taxes, won’t be as inspired to vote for the first person who promises them free shit.

        Although I guess everyone is promising free shit at the moment, hard to tell them apart.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        While I can see the argument, I don’t trust our government to be able to execute it without letting the immigrants vote in statewide and federal elections, especially in those jurisdictions with lots of immigrants.

      • Hyperion

        “I don’t trust our government”

        You could have left it at that and I get it.

    • commodious spittoon

      Funny, I’m listening to Matt Welch (I think? I can’t ever tell these white boys apart) argue that if you really think the people wanting to open the economy back up only care because they want to see people die of CoronAIDS, maybe you should have self-quarantined a long time ago. If I might add, on another continent.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Test again.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        This is starting to piss me off.

  31. Heroic Mulatto

    No. This is all wrong! What world is this? What alternate timeline do I find myself in?

    • AlmightyJB

      I’m too old for Sonic.

  32. KSuellington

    Yesterday went biking with the oldest son out on the Great Highway and we saw the Diamond Princess heading out to sea. Read after that they got released from quarantine and were heading out for a week off the coast to do maintenance (and dump a ton of shit) and then back to the Port of SF. Imagine it won’t be taking any passengers again for quite a while.

    https://imgur.com/gallery/1IwYhRb

    • Tundra

      WOOHOO!

  33. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    I got kicked out of a doctor’s office today. Went in to see the first sono of my next kid, and they forced me to go out to the car and watch it via a “one minute maximum FaceTime call”.

    • Tundra

      Congrats! How far along is mama?

      • Tundra

        Excellent. You have a little girl now, correct?

        What’s the betting money on the new one?

    • Lady Zorg aka Babalu

      Sorry man, that really sucks. My coworker’s gf is due in early May, and they are already telling him he won’t be allowed to be there.

      • Tundra

        That’s bullshit. Gown up and rock n roll.

        A good friend of mine was dying of cancer and they didn’t want to let some of us in. The dude and his wife pitched a fit, so we put on all the gear and went in to give our pal an amazing amount of abuse (I told him he looked like fucking Yoda). He died a few weeks later and his wife told me at the funeral that we assholes kept him going.

        I hate this. People shouldn’t be alone.

      • Pope Jimbo

        When my dad was in the ICU the nurses/docs tried one time to boot her for some reason or another (maybe visiting time?). They never tried that again. My mom didn’t suffer bull shit quietly. She let them know they’d have to physically remove her and she’d be back with a lawyer and camera crew as soon as she could.

        Like most of these petty tyrants they folded when she called their bluff.

        In fairness to the medical staffers, I think that they have to forget that patients are really people because otherwise they’d never make it a week without going crazy.

      • Tundra

        I only met your mom once, but she didn’t strike me as a wilting violet!

        In fairness to the medical staffers, I think that they have to forget that patients are really people because otherwise they’d never make it a week without going crazy.

        Oh absolutely. It’s like what Jarflax was talking about the other day. Experts get tunnel vision. Mission first. I sure as hell don’t blame them, but I’m also not gonna back down.

      • Mad Scientist

        And how many times have you met Winston’s mom?

      • Tundra

        A gentleman never tells.

      • Mad Scientist

        So you can definitely tell us then.

    • Ted S.

      To be fair, you should have been wearing pants.

    • DEG

      Sorry you got kicked out.

    • westernsloper

      That is bullshit and Congrats!!

  34. Yusef drives a Kia

    Nothing like being Laid off amicably, I got’s my 307$ a week set up with UI, and qualify for additional Trump Bucks!,
    I, I will Survive!

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Do you get back-dated bennies?

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        Yeeeees!

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        “Exxxxxxxxxcellent, Smithers!”

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        I just tell myself, it’s your money, your just getting it back, devalued……….

    • AlmightyJB

      Your a trooper man. I have a feeling in a few weeks hiring is going to break open. Of course you have A/C season coming up:) Hope you get an early hot summer!

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        I met an AC/R guy and we are discussing a local venture when this blows over, kind of a right place right time thing,
        best thing I’ve had to consider in a while, we would be the only Local Restaurant Refrigeration Company in town, every one else is closed.

      • Tres Cool

        the V stands for Very Awesome

        HEY YUFUS!

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        Sup Tres! a chance meeting, this guy is worse than at the game, but then we went tech, and found out we did the same shit,
        you know the rest, we are well placed when this blows over, and my extra trump bucks, if We ge them, will finance the startup,
        /Optimist!
        /Short Cans!

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        God, I think it’s this bouncy Keyboard, Girls yes, Keyboards, not so much….

      • DEG

        This chance sounds like it has potential.

      • AlmightyJB

        That’s great man. Hopefully something good in the making.

  35. Defiant YDAK of the Desert

    Today, they removed the picnic tables, people refused to comply with the 10 people thing, as the kids jumped the plastic fence and rode in the skatepark.
    Restrooms closed, so I pissed on a tree, Doggie style, it wasn’t an issue, no one was there, this is no Bueno at all………

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Careful. Pissing on a tree like that is how you become a registered sex offender. If you’re already on the register, carry on, I guess.

  36. CPRM

    Things around here look pretty normal except some people wearing masks and I drove past a playground they had cordoned off with yellow tape like a crime scene, assholes.

    • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

      Three old Biddies walking their dogs 2 feet apart? no problem,
      Small birthday celebration with 8 people at a picnic bench? VERBOTEN!
      / My park

    • commodious spittoon

      Everyone’s getting their hairy little tyranny boners up.

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        The BhCPD and Mayor told Ducey to get Fucked, they don’t have manpower to close the park, so they stuck up they barriers, etc. ,they really don’t want to comply at all,

    • Hyperion

      Wife just received her shipment of those masks. So I guess I get to try one on next time we venture out.

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        Bandwagon Jumper!

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I wasn’t the one to jump on that wagon. I got on by default.

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        I was kidding, I fabbed my own, and wear it when I go out,
        Stay safe and don’t touch anything when in public….

      • Hyperion

        I knew you were joking. But I didn’t even feel the need for masks. But wifey wanted them. Maybe they’ll help. I just try to stay away from people, wash my hands, and try not to touch my face if I’ve been out or not washed my hands yet.

        I’ve noticed when out, there seems to be two types of people on both ends. The mask wearing paranoid ones, and the ones who seem to be completely oblivious to the entire thing. The latter will just run right up to you and get in your space. You have to just watch out for those.

      • Rhywun

        I had to put on a mask at the vet today – it was the first time I used one out of the 10-pack I bought the other day.

        Holy crap, I couldn’t stand it after a couple minutes.

        I’ll wear them when I go out but I won’t be going out very often for the near future.

      • Hyperion

        “Holy crap, I couldn’t stand it after a couple minutes.”

        That exact thought has entered my mind. The ones the wife bought are FFP2. They don’t look comfy to me. I hate even wearing headphones for more than an hour or two.

        Not sure how I will do wearing one of those for an hour long Walmart expedition.

      • Tres Cool

        The one benefit of wearing contact lenses and dipping tobacco for the past couple decades is that Im OCD about hand-washing. Even not in times of a “pandemic”.

      • pistoffnick

        “Stay safe and don’t touch anything when in public….”

        Not even myself?

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Especially not yourself. No idea where you’ve been.

  37. Pope Jimbo

    If you want to subscribe to another newsletter, you could do worse than this guy

    Attention citizens! Your Dept. Of Pandemia wishes to report that, contrary to your foolish speculation, it is not drunk on power. Not even tipsy. All citizens must stop saying so immediately. Those who do not will be arrested for their own protection. Attention citizens!

    • Pope Jimbo

      Another

      Attention citizens! Your Dept. Of Pandemia wishes to report that the word “unemployment” is no longer to be used. Henceforth citizens shall report they are “on sabbatical” or “practicing unpaid social distancing.” Attention citizens!

    • Pope Jimbo

      Last one

      Attention citizens! Your Dept. of Pandemia wishes to congratulate our nation’s brave deputies for enforcing the new and improved social distancing laws, which now include fish. Expect more arrests soon as further improvements are made. Attention citizens!

      * References a story about the two boats running down the paddle boarder in CA.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Ironically he was placed on house arrest.

        I kind of feel sorry for my ex-wife. As my daughter mentioned her mom can’t ground her as everyone is grounded. And if she gets sent to her room she doesn’t mind as that’s where she wanted to be anyway.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      The under-secretary of the office of Pandemonium will enforce these orders.

    • Hyperion

      I keep saying it, but you want to stop the love of Big Brother, right now?

      Have the government to announce they are cutting cell phone service, right now, for a month.

      The hospitals will reach capacity with nervous breakdown victims within hours. Within days, there will be riots nationwide and total breakdown of order. A complete collapse of society will occur within 2 weeks.

      • Hyperion

        Let me put that in a slightly different way.

        Tell people to social distance from each other. Great!

        Tell them to put down their fucking cell phone for a day. Go ahead, I want to see that.

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        Collapse of Civilization in 3,2,1…
        Truly, I could get by, as long as I have my loaded PC

  38. DEG

    Are drugs going to fall out of my ass? If they do, will they be good?

    CBS News posted a video of a nurse who claimed she quit her job after being asked to work in a coronavirus ICU without a face mask.

    “America is not prepared, and nurses are not being protected,” said the ICU nurse in the video. “I quit my job today. I went into work and I was assigned to a COVID patient on an ICU unit that has been converted to a designated COVID unit. None of the nurses are wearing masks.”

    The video now appears to be inaccurate. Instead of verifying the legitimacy of the video, CBS added background music and captions to highlight a woman who lied about her workplace situation. The woman, who goes by Imaris on social media, has a prominent following on Instagram.

    • Hyperion

      Another lying drama queen, Youtube star wannabe. How shocking.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        There are some people for whom an internet connection is a highly dangerous thing.

      • Hyperion

        Like with cell phones. Back in March last year, I almost broke my hand because a girl walked right into me when I was out walking, because she was on her phone and not paying attention. I walk really fast and she was probably 90 lbs. soaking wet. If I would have ran into her, I’m afraid she might have been injured, so I tried to step around her at the last second and wound up stepping awkwardly off the curb and when I tried to catch myself, I hit my hard and arm on the curb, scraping myself up pretty good and a lot of swelling in my hand. She didn’t even see me, she just kept walking while staring at her phone. I swore to myself if that ever happens again, I will run into the person, just fuck it.

      • Count Potato

        Yikes! Sorry you hurt yourself.

      • Hyperion

        Ah, it was superficial, but I was pretty pissed for a while. I mean it could have been worse for sure the way I landed.

      • Rhywun

        I hate people who do that with the heat of a thousand suns.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I now have a special type of hatred for those people. More of them need to be ran over by cars.

      • KSuellington

        In some places it’s easier to get an internet than a library card. And we aren’t just talking regular internet, it’s high speed. And then there’s the free WiFi loophole.

      • leon

        Good work if you can get it

    • C. Anacreon

      Yeah, I thought that sounded super-fishy when I first heard about it, infection ICU patient care staff would always be the first in line at any hospital to get PPE. But hey! She got to be famous, and probably soon will get offered a panelist position critiquing Trump’s virus guidelines on CNN.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How pathetic do you have to be to pull a stunt like that?

    • Not Adahn

      What do you expect? Trump’s war on the independent media has made them unable to do the sort of verification that a healthy democracy needs!

    • Rhywun

      The Department of Labor must immediately issue emergency workplace standards to protect our health workers

      /Dr. Bernie

      ?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The funny part is they didn’t bother to check a hysterical loon, but they’ll check a doctor who disagrees with the media concensus six ways to Sunday.

  39. Defiant YDAK of the Desert

    The Defiant comes from what is happening to the park, I’ll play there until they force me to stop, and I’m collecting names of the locals, if we get shut down, a few of us have baskets at home, ,portable, that we could set up putting tourneys, and other stuff, Fuck the GOV!
    We also have access to a private course in Hualapai we could play, hmmmm

  40. Count Potato

    I have a construction question. The laundry room has wallpaper covering fucked up, unfinished wall board. I want to remove the wallpaper, then paint it. On one wall the lower third is brick, then there is a strip of wood (guessing 2 X 2), and above that drywall. There is a gap between that sheet rock and the wood. There is some of that yellow foam stuff in there, but I want to fill it so there is a right angle between the wall and the wood. What is the best stuff to fill that space? It has to be reasonably sandable, and not shrink. I’m planning on putting a primer such as Killz over the wood and wallboard.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Cut the drywall back enough that you can glue in a new strip of drywall and then mud and sand.

      Alternatively, just find some trim board that will cover the gap.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s what I thought, but the more I think about the question, the more I think the drywall is stepped back from the brick and there’s a hole between the brick and the studs, and the board is lying flat, not on its edge.

      • Count Potato

        The drywall is definitely farther back than the brick. I’ll have look at it again to see how far down the studs go.

        The wall is sort of like this:

        | <- drywall
        |

        —| <- wood
        ———|
        | <– brick
        |

      • Mojeaux

        See link below.

      • Count Potato

        Woops, spaces got deleted.

      • Mad Scientist

        Trim the wood back to be flush with the drywall. Leave wallpaper in place. Add another entire sheet of drywall over the first one and trim it so it’s covering the wood and abutting the brick. Mud and finish as usual.

      • Mojeaux

        ^^^This is the correct answer.

      • The Hyperbole

        When you say brick do you mean block, is your situation something like this? in that case you will never fill that crack with dryall compound or bondo or spray foam it will always crack as those different materials move (expand and contract at different rates, your best bet is the install a trim, something like a base moulding.

      • Count Potato

        Yes, it’s something like that. OK, a moulding sounds like a good idea. I could just nail it to the wood?

      • The Hyperbole

        Assuming it’s built like my detail yes you should be able to nail it through the drywall into the bottom plate.

      • Count Potato

        OK, no idea if that bottom plate is there, because I couldn’t see through the foam.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’d wager that it’s there, sounds like a case where there was air leaking through the sill plate and the wall (not uncommon it’s a weak spot, it’s harder to offset the wall and let the sheathing cover that gap so most framers wont) and someone tried to stop that leak with spray foam.

      • westernsloper

        Ohhhhhh, it that is the case, fir out the top part with the wall paper to the level of the block and sheet rock the whole thing.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Would work, but I’d prefer the “cut the drywall back and put in new drywall solution” myself (having used said solution a number of times).

      • Tres Cool

        Bondo. Its always bondo.

      • Hyperion

        In this brave new world, I think it’s Brawndo.

      • Mojeaux

        I did that to fill in the chunk of wood I took out of a door whilst drilling the knob hole.

        construction = euphemism rich

      • Count Potato

        I plan on using mesh tape to fix some of the other holes in the drywall.

    • Mojeaux

      then there is a strip of wood (guessing 2 X 2), and above that drywall. There is a gap between that sheet rock and the wood. […] to fill it so there is a right angle between the wall and the wood.

      Is the wall from brick to ceiling a straight plane? What’s the gap like? As in, the drywall is stepped back from the brick and there’s a horizontal gap? (As in, you stand over it and look down into a gap.) Or there is a vertical gap between the brick and drywall, as in, you can see studs?

      • Count Potato

        “Is the wall from brick to ceiling a straight plane?”

        Nope. The brick is a shorter distance to the parallel wall.

        “As in, the drywall is stepped back from the brick and there’s a horizontal gap? (As in, you stand over it and look down into a gap.) Or there is a vertical gap between the brick and drywall, as in, you can see studs?”

        The latter. A vertical gap, but I seem foam, not studs.

      • westernsloper

        Demo it all. New sheet rock, mud, tape, paint.

    • Tundra

      I’ve had a lot of head trauma. Any chance of pics?

      • Count Potato

        Maybe later. I’m staying quarantined in my room, unless I absolutely need to help my mom with something in person. I re-organized a bunch of stuff, figured out a way using cups and colored post-its so she can do her own medication, etc. so we have as little contact or shared air as possible.

      • Tundra

        Good man. I hope sh’e doing well.

      • Tundra

        Or she’s.

      • Count Potato

        She swears she feels fine. I’m sure I’m more worried than she is.

      • Tundra

        Mom knows what’s up.

        All my best to you two.

      • Count Potato

        Thanks 🙂

      • Mojeaux

        figured out a way using cups and colored post-its so she can do her own medication

        Excellent!

    • The Hyperbole

      I’m not sure I grok your situation can you post a link to a picture?

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      BTW, just been through a “remove the wallpaper and paint it” scenario with the downstairs bathroom that got destroyed from a toilet upstairs failing and flooding all sorts of shit. If you can just get away with simply painting the wallpaper, DO IT. I come to you from your future.

      • Gustave Lytton

        IF it’s in good condition and even then, painted over wallpaper often has…problems.

        Took off peeling wall paper w/ a steam unit & scorer and had a drywall guy put a skim coat & texture over it (was already going to be there to redo a scraped ceiling (goodbye popcorn!). Came out nice.

      • Mojeaux

        If you can just get away with simply painting the wallpaper, DO IT.

        No.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        YES!
        Very common method of decorating in France — most of my rellies (and there’s an entire village of ’em, fer cryin’ out loud) have used exactly this method to reno/redecorate their houses. Looks fabulous, if done properly.

        N.B.: We had a guy in (paid for by insurance, so no skin off our nose) who spent about five times as much time as he was budgeted for removing the wallpaper and then skim-coating the walls of the bathroom. Fundamentally stupid waste of time and money, but hey! — no skin off of our noses, so what the Hell.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Man, I’m drunk — I’m repeating clichés . . .

      • pistoffnick

        I stand with Mo on this one. Get rid of it.

        We had one room that had wall paper that didn’t stuck in some places and stuck tenaciously in others. The steamer wouldn’t take it off. The heat gun wouldn’t do a thing. Finally found that a blow torch and a paint scraper would do the trick, but slowly.

        I hate wallpaper

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        To be clear, we wanted the insurance company to actually demo and replace the wallboard on which the wallpaper was placed, but noooooooo, they couldn’t make it work financially. So they went the “remove wallpaper and skim-coat everything” route. Least intelligent of all the options, ended up blowing their budget for that room, but there you go . . .

      • Count Potato

        The wallpaper is peeling and a complete mess.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Then demo and re-board.

      • Count Potato

        I just redid a bathroom, removed the wallpaper, fixed the drywall, and painted it. It came out pretty good. The wall paper was hiding a lot of flaws.

    • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

      Pics or I can’t help, otherwise I can think of tens ways right now you make it look groovy!

      • Count Potato

        “that page doesn’t exist”

      • Mojeaux

        Right. I took it down because I figured you didn’t need it. Hold on a sec.

      • Count Potato

        Wow. That’s amazing you drew that so fast.

        More like 2, except the wood is square. It could also be 1 when looking straight at it with no depth perception. Except I can’t see studs, just that yellow foam.

      • Mojeaux

        I really wasn’t quite sure of your description. I drew the first one deliberately without depth perception, as by your description, I originally envisioned it as a flat plane.

        The fact that it was a square piece of wood blew by me while I was drawing. Sorry about that.

        #2 is what is commonly done in finished basements in new construction around here. The foundation footing is, let’s say 12″ thick. And then the studs are put on top of that, but that’s barely 4″. So you have a sort of “pony wall” about waist high, a ledge, and then the wall steps back 8″ (assuming the foot wall is 12″ thick–I have no idea).

      • Count Potato

        No need to apologize.

        The difference isn’t as much as 8″, I’d say more like 4″ between upper wall and lower wall, 1.5″ wood, then 2.5″ brick.

  41. Scruffy Nerfherder

    First experience with Walmart pickup took over an hour in the parking lot, but we got some denture adhesive for free.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      . . . we got some denture adhesive for free.

      I, uh . . . wut?

      • Mojeaux

        Yeah, I want THAT story.

      • Private Chipperbot

        The toothpaste as lubricant just wasn’t doing it for him anymore.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Some old lady’s dentures are going to fall out this week and some old guy is going to be happier.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I don’t know about that. Unless it maybe glued her mouth shut. Sorry, that was mean, but…

      • Tres Cool

        Glued his ass-cheeks together to keep from shitting himself.

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        +1 Breakfast Club,
        YARG!

    • westernsloper

      My first experience with Wmart pickup months ago they gave me a sample roll of TP. I still have it in reserve.TAKE THAT BITCHES! As to the adhesive, if it were me, I would just start gluing the wifes things down randomly.

      • B.P.

        Sample roll of toilet paper? As though they were trying to interest you in a new product you’ve never used before?

      • westernsloper

        It was the high dollar stuff. Don’t think Wmart tracks your purchases and knows what you buy?

  42. Hyperion

    Man, I am telling ya’ll. Do NOT mix wine and beer. Holy shit, I’m just getting over the worstest hangover ever from that. Never again.

    • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

      Sorry you have to endure that, never again………

      • Hyperion

        I went to get beer, but that’s when I found out that our local deli went under. Then I was drinking wine when I found out that Drizly has a local store that will deliver on Sunday. So after a bottle of wine, I got beer and…

    • AlmightyJB

      I’m not sure why you would drink wine to begin with?

      • Hyperion

        See my 2nd post. That’s why. I don’t like wine. But it was a nice day and we were grilling on the deck, and…

      • AlmightyJB

        Well first a girl hurts you and then wine hurts you. Your man points are dropping fast bro:) lol.

      • Hyperion

        “Well first a girl hurts you and then wine hurts you.”

        You know, dude. You may have a hit county/western song in the works there.

      • Tres Cool

        I need Straff to confirm this, but ancient asian proverb:

        “The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.”

      • AlmightyJB

        You know I’m just f’ing with you. Lol.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I didn’t get that. This Wuhan Flu shit has made me lose my sense of humor. Pretty soon I’ll be a proggy posting on the Twitter.

      • AlmightyJB

        Nooooooooo! At first the internet was wonderful, then it was awful. Freakin’ normies.

  43. Aus

    This shit sucks guys. Many of my closest friends were furloughed today.

    I’ve been watching Dennis Prager lately and he says that Happiness is a moral obligation, i.e. be a shoulder to lean on for those in your circle and I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. Jordan Peterson has a similar theme ala “Clean your room” such n such.

    But damn man, shits hard.

    Prelimary estimate on the damage to my Jaguar from the hit n run came in this afternoon. $12k, lol. Hope my ins doesn’t total my car but I can’t really blame them if they try.

    • Mojeaux

      Ouch on your car.

      Ouchier on your friends. That sucks so, so hard. We are all in for a rough ride.

      • Aus

        Thank you!

    • AlmightyJB

      Ouch! That sucks man. Since it’s a hit and run I know you’ll at least be out deductable. Assholes. What kind of Jag is it?

      • Aus

        ’17 XE

      • AlmightyJB

        Sweet. Hope you’re able to keep it.

      • Hyperion

        I was a victim of a hit and run last year. Fortunately, the damage was to my 2009 Pontiac G6.

      • Aus

        That thing was “damaged” when it rolled off the factory line 😛

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, it’s a GM product. But it was a dirt cheap spare car and it has a 360 hp V6. And it still runs well, cheap piece of plastic that it is, at 115,000 miles.

      • Hyperion

        It’s funny though. I always have people wanting to buy it from me. And then I get the ‘You have a Pontiac?’ line.

    • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

      12K? First World Problems…
      /but a Jag, Ouch, I love those cars…

      • Tres Cool

        Depends on the year. Could just be a Ford.

    • DEG

      Sorry.

    • DEG

      I’ve been watching Dennis Prager lately and he says that Happiness is a moral obligation, i.e. be a shoulder to lean on for those in your circle and I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. Jordan Peterson has a similar theme ala “Clean your room” such n such.

      Don’t Let The Bastards Get You Down.

      • Aus

        hell yea!

      • Mojeaux

        Nil carborundum illegitimi!

      • DEG

        I remember having Latin class.

      • AlmightyJB

        I saw a Prager video last week talking about how this CV shit night have a silver lining as in the yutes might actually experience some real hardship as opposed to spouting off about micro-aggressions being real problems. I think this thing is about over though. They’ll probably think that they’re heroes for surviving 3 weeks without Starbucks.

      • Aus

        One of the glibs a few weeks ago said something along the lines that Americans could do well to feel what it likes to miss a meal. Can’t remember who said it, but the comment stuck with me.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Kate at Small Dead Animals has a recurring feature that is entitled something like “We Need A Famine.”

        She just might get her wish.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry about your Jag.

      • Aus

        Honestly, I feel like I don’t have much connection to the older Jag owners. Those cars were truly ’boutique’ for better or worse. I actually prefer the more mass produced, arguably more reliable, modern Jags. Even further, I really only have eyes for the XE (which I have) and the SUVs. The XJ and other models(?) I don’t really care for the styling.

        So I’m probably the type of owner that ‘classic’ Jag owners look down upon, but doesn’t bother me one bit. As soon as I saw the XE, I determined I would have one. Even it was a used one… with no option… included no heated seats. Yes – I own a 2017 Jaguar that DOES NOT have heated seats, lol. Hey… it’s my starter Jag!

  44. Defiant YDAK of the Desert

    I like to Golf alone for the most part, but playing others can fun as well, meet new people, bla bla bla. I have recently met several guys that are alone, and seem to be looking for friends, I hate People, so I try to be nice, but now I have a Bunch of loners, and I think i should just form a group, so they can play without me always coordinating, I hate running things…

  45. Rebel Scum

    A male and female Cardinal are on a date at my bird feeder. Needless to say, the cat is watching intently.

    • Mojeaux

      Cat needs to watch out. Cardinals seem nice and everything, but piss them off or get in their territory, and they’re going to come after you. I’m looking at YOU, blue jays and squirrels.

    • AlmightyJB

      Rule 34?

  46. AlmightyJB

    I have 3 giant rabbits my backyard right now.

    • Hyperion

      Where’d you get the shrooms? Can I order those on the internets now?

      • AlmightyJB

        My wife thinks that I should let them be as opposed to putting them in my smoker.

      • Hyperion

        The shrooms or the giant bunnies? Why not both? I mean on the grill?

        Or wait, maybe the heat will kill off the shroom magical active ingredient, which after all, created the giant bunnies to start with…

      • AlmightyJB

        Dude. I so wish I had ‘schrooms right now. It’s been at least 30 years. I know, sad.

      • Hyperion

        Fuck, I just wish that cannabis was legal in this shit state right now and that they can deliver it with beer.

      • Aus

        Heh… so my very good friend just moved back to OH from CO and is still adjusting to the MJ situation in this state.

        “Sorry bro, it aint that easy here” lol

      • Hyperion

        It’s legal in DC. So you could drive down there and get it. If anyone was allowed to sell it, which they aren’t. But if you could find someone to give it to you, you could go get it and drive back here. And if you got pulled over and it’s under 10 grams you have in your possession, you won’t be arrested, but just fined. Unless their scales are wrong, then you’re fucked.

        If you want an example of how badly government can fuck shit up, there it is.

        You’re better off just knowing it’s illegal.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

        “Mrs. BEAM! I saw a bunny in our front yard today!”
        “Was it a really fat bunny?”  /wipes drool from her chin

      • westernsloper

        If not you should.

    • The Hyperbole

      Any of them named Harvey?

      • AlmightyJB

        If only I was trippin’. I would ask them:)

      • leon

        He wouldn’t be able to see them if they were, now would he…

      • The Hyperbole

        Depends if he’s a social misfit or not.

    • grrizzly

      There were two large rabbits on my front lawn when I went out for a walk earlier tonight.

      • Hyperion

        So, you can get the shrooms too? Come on you guys, stop holding out on us!

  47. Gender Traitor

    Even though I’m lucky enough to still have a job to go to (not WFH,) I’ve found myself getting easily irritable, so I’m trying to fight that. The weather was beautiful when I got home today, so the Mr. and I went for a short walk. Our magnolia is in full bloom, so I made a point of getting a picture. Soon the petals will be all over the driveway, but for a few days, it’s a bright spot during a vexing time. Just thought I’d share. That and a dollar might buy you a cup of coffee (carry-out only.)

    • DEG

      Very nice.

      My magnolia and my laurels are starting to bloom.

    • Tulip

      Beautiful

    • pistoffnick

      My neighbor has one of those, but pure white. I does pretty poorly in northern ‘soda, but some years it just spews white stuff everywhere.

    • Hyperion

      There’s a lot of those in bloom here right now. You don’t live close to MD, do you?

      • Tres Cool

        Heh….Middle Dixie

      • Gender Traitor

        Nope – SW OH.

    • Tundra

      Gorgeous!

      My magnolia is getting really close. Brilliant white blossoms. I’ll try to remember to get a pic.

      I think most normal people are getting irritable by now.

      • Hyperion

        The white flowered ones have already dropped their petals here. The pink ones are now in full bloom, starting to drop the petals.

    • Hyperion

      There’s one behind our house, I think it’s called a Bigleaf Magnolia. It doesn’t have the non-deciduous foliage like the one in your picture, but it has white flowers that are about 12″ in diameter or larger and big tropical looking leaves. I think it usually blooms in June or July.

    • westernsloper

      That is a great tree!

    • R C Dean

      Reposting this morning’s cactus flower pic.

      Oy, what a day.

      • UnCivilServant

        I know the image is real, but it just looks so fake at the same time.

      • R C Dean

        I was lucky – I caught the light when it was hitting the flowers but the rest of the plant is mostly in shade.

  48. Tulip

    I’ve been sending pictures of my flowers to friends at work. I think a little spring cheer doesn’t hurt anyone

  49. westernsloper

    So I did some cutting and grinding on the Frankenoven for upgrades today and did not even catch myself on fire. Torch work tomorrow.

  50. Defiant YDAK of the Desert

    Ans I thought I was Strange……………..