Not much to report here. I am alive and working. I also feel more trapped than I have in a while. Some of that is probably the cloudy weather. How are y’all?
Another sector of the economy, destroyed. Sure, there was lots of underlying price weakness before we cut gasoline consumption by 50%, but damn.
Hard hitting news from my neck of the woods.
Old habits die hard. Russians withdrawing cash during TP shortage. That’s a pretty crappy joke about the value of the ruble.
Wow. Guess I’d better find a job since Florida Man is in charge of paying unemployment.
Hey, guess what? If we reopen, there will be more COVID cases. Thanks, Mr. Expert. What we’d really appreciate is some expert knowledge on the relative tradeoffs of dying of COVID versus grinding poverty.
With these negative oil prices I’m kinda thinking I should fill my garage up.
I’m just here to get firsts and fill my garage up with cheap oil and I’ve already got a first.
You slid in there like an oil slick.
Like greased lightning, he did.
Being able to refine that garage full of oil will probably become problematic.
Invest in refineries?
“Just 40,193 Floridians who have filed for unemployment since March 15 have received their benefits, according to a new website the state launched Monday.
That’s less than 3% of the more than 1.5 million claims filed since mid-March when the state saw a record surge in people thrown out of work because of the novel coronavirus.”
I could understand that there is wait due to the number of claims, but that sounds as though people at the unemployment office are staying home.
“The union contract says I only have to process 5 claims a day.”
I’m pretty concerned that things could get riot bad very soon.
*nods sullenly*
No shit. I dont think the genius’s giving all of these orders know what they are fucking with. People will put up with all kinds of shit….until they get hungry or lose everything they have spent a lifetime working for. Then all bets are off.
Meanwhile…in Paris…
https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-lockdown-sparks-riots-in-paris-11975809
“Wheel of rioting turn, turn, turn. Tell us the reason why we should burn (Citroens)”
I wish they brought Yakko, Whakko, and Dot back.
Current status
https://animaniacs.fandom.com/wiki/Animaniacs_(2020_TV_series)
They have baloney in their slacks!
+1 Animaniacs: Riot Edition
I’m paywalled on the Herald article, but is it really a surprise that an antiquated state-run system crashes when demand spikes?
Looking at the Derpbook comments whenever DeSantis give a presser or update, half the state is pissed that he didn’t “shut down Florida” the first week of March, and the other half are screaming for him to “fix unemployment,” where “fix” means “get me my money!”
“How are y’all?”
We’re all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?
Our local paper started a new column that all start with “Emotional Wellness…”
I’ve started doing what another commenter (RC Dean, perhaps?) and reading “could be” as “could, or could not.” If only newspapers were so honest.
*what another commenter suggested
When I see “may” (as in “there may be another surge if stay-at-home orders are lifted”), I substitute “may or may not.” Same thing goes for “could”, though.
Isn’t that what saying something may happen means?
I think the point is that it’s content-free. It doesn’t say anything, so why bother saying it.
Okay, but that isn’t resolved by saying “it also may not” That’s already implied in the “may” it’s kind of the definition of the word. If you’re pointing out that it’s baseless I’d suggest something like “Yeah and Not Adahn may write an amusing IFLA article one day but that ain’t too likely either.”
They Hyperbole may be a huge fan of bay leaves, and may be such a degenerate molester of children that OMWC says “dude, that’s fucked up.”
Yup. And that’s my point.
“May” is too often taken to mean “shall” and is often used precisely to give the impression that a possible outcome is likely or even inevitable. You don’t change the meaning of the sentence, but you do make it more clear. If nothing else, it might get people to ask the real question, which is “what is the probability?”.
Fair enough, the problem isn’t with the person using the term but the fact that the public doesn’t know what the term means.
The problem is also with people using the word to create the illusion that a highly unlikely worst case is actually high probability. They know people will misread it, and decline to clarify.
The person using the term knows damn well that the public doesn’t know what it means, which is why the writer uses it.
Well, no.
They know that the term has a connatative meaning which is why they use it, and a denotative meaning that they can hide behind.
If the public actually didn’t know the (connatative) meaning, then it wouldn’t get used.
So everyone needs to write down to the lowest-browed redneck’s reading level or they are just manipulating the masses, got it… I mean, I reckon.
The media has no trouble at all being abundantly clear when it wants to be. They have no trouble digging out extensive background information, plotting it all out, and explaining it in an easy to understand manner, when they want to.
Today, TH pretends to learn that such a thing as “rhetoric” exists.
It actually has more to do with the sentiments expressed before and after the word “may.” When you breathlessly described armageddon for a few paragraphs and a headline, you’ve setup the word may to have far more persuasion than it normally would. The tone of the article is always based n the assumption that whatever “may” happen is likely to happen. Our brains skip over may because we’ve been told to, by the preceding verbiage. Focusing on the technicality of the use of may misses the whole point.
I think it relates to the “can I” / “may I” distinction.
There is a certain positive approval associated with “may” in addition to its use as “perhaps”.
There could also be more auto accidents from people driving to work. And more workplace accidents. And people slipping and falling in the shower because they have to bathe before they go to work.
Nope – too risky. Better not to take any chances.
The low price of gas may result in people driving more and could see a spike in auto accidents which would possibly see insurance rates increase. Increases in driving would result in roads wearing out faster and could result in tax increases
I wish somebody would ask Fauci something like “If our best guess was that stay-at-home orders would save 1,000 lives from the Commie Cough, but cause 2,000 deaths by other means, would you support stay-at-home orders?”
Mises lays it out:
The trick used by Himmler…was very simple and probably very effective; it consisted in turning these instincts around, as it were, in directing them toward the self. So that instead of saying: What horrible things I did to people!, the murderers would be able to say: What horrible things I had to watch in the pursuance of my duties, how heavily the task weighed upon my shoulders! (Hannah Arendt, Eichmann in Jerusalem)
So you hear statements that twist reality in this manner: “The virus will let us know when we can reopen the country.” As if the virus is dictating policy.
https://mises.org/wire/exactly-how-many-deaths-are-needed-justify-giving-governments-control-everything
When my son breaks something, he’ll say, “It broke” (after much prodding) and then I’ll say, “Language!” and he’ll say, “I broke it.”
We don’t do passive voice in my house. That’s weaseling.
Or add the phrase “without evidence”
Or add the phrase “without evidence”
“With squirrels”
Should we be concerned Oil is worth less than a big mac a barrel? Nah V shaped recovery baby.
Waiting for the sharp spike upward right around the beginning of November. No reason.
I’m not one of those Liquidity trap this time it’s happening people but this time it’s happening. This is going to be bad.
Sorry Canadian Glibs.
Trudeau promises gun control legislation after deadliest shooting in Canadian history
On Monday, a coalition of gun control groups implored Canada’s public safety minister to immediately ban the new sale of military-style assault weapons.
And yet…
something something crisis going to waste something
See, they just need more common-sense gun safety laws on top the metric fuckload they already have!
Personally, I blame Indiana.
I had this conversation this morning but about Chicago. Something something guns r bad look at all of the violence we have.
Me: “Chicago doesn’t have a gun problem. Guns are inanimate objects. They have no agency. Inanimate objects are inanimate. People have agency. Chicago has a violence problem because your culture is shit. I live in the most heavily armed parish (county) – average 48 guns per person – in the country and we have one of the lowest crime rates in the country. You dont have a gun problem. You have a people problem.
Response: crickets.
“average 48 guns per person” Holy FUCK! FTR, I have always love Louisiana and this is but one reason.
And don’t say “parish” during a pendemic, thank you very much!
When one morning in August 1998 the Russian government announced a huge Ruble devaluation, my grandma immediately ran to the bank where she had an account with savings in rubles and converted them into dollars using the exchange rate from the previous business day. That opportunity didn’t last long, obviously.
I remember that day well. My wife nearly got arrested when we were crossing the border to Estonia because she didn’t declare all the foreign currency she had in her wallet.
Apropos of me going to the grocery store and back, a littel while ago:
I have been thinking about B F Skinner’s pigeons, lately. I was compelled to take Psych 101 in college, as part of the “all college” requirement. Blah, blah blah well rounded, etc. Fuck them.
Anyway, at The Colorado College, the psychology department was all behaviorism all the time. Skinner was their High Prophet. I remember, somewhere along the line, there was talk about “pigeon superstition” by which they meant some of the pigeons, although they merely needed to tap the little bar to get their treats, would incorporate more elaborate behaviors; presumably because they thought the pirouette, or head bob, or hop-skip-and-a-jump were requisite behaviors to get the Almighty Pigeon God to favor them with a delicious snack.
What do I see, when I go out, these days?
A lot of pigeon superstition, being practiced by hairless monkeys.
Heh. Yep.
The top story on the Daily Mail:
“‘Nice and easy, just relax’: Mansplaining Trump tells female reporter to ‘keep your voice down please’ when she pushes him on why he didn’t warn people about covid being a ‘wildfire’ in February”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8237207/Trump-berates-female-reporter-tells-voice-please.html
They don’t call it the Daily Fail for nothing.
Mrs. Dean was watching one of the pressers on her tablet. All I got was the audio. Don’t recall that exact exchange, but I do recall the female reporter (CNN, I believe) sounding very emotional – some combination of angry and tear-y. I thought Trump did a good job, in his uniquely inarticulate way, of responding to the question of “whycome you didn’t do something sooner.”
Weijia Jiang got her first broadcast news break for Channel One aged just 13 when she was a student reporter and anchor for the children’s network which was also a proving ground for CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Fox and Friends’ Brian Kilmeade
Fuck Chris Whittle with a covid encrusted rusty chainsaw.
Oh, go fuck yourself.
I prefer to get my news from people who can write sentences that aren’t a hot garbled mess.
The Daily Mail seems to have its own style guide.
Semi random mid SENTENCE capitalizations?
After beating Jim Acosta about the face and head for so long, Trump is employing affirmative action to treat jourlolists as they deserve.
This is the same bitch who claimed that a White House official said the words “kung flu” to her but refused to say who it was.
Because, y’know, she’s a liar.
The press in general could shoot their credibility, hit it in the head with a shovel, piss on it, set it on fire and throw the ashes to the wind and it would do less damage than what they have done since 2016.
“Miley Cyrus’ father Billy Ray is launching a cannabis brand… but asks fans not to share their joints due to COVID-19 as they celebrate 4/20”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8237879/Billy-Ray-Cyrus-launching-cannabis-brand-Banana-Cream-strains.html
“I was going to social distance, then I got high.”
Don’t share that joint,
That commie coughing joint,
I just don’t think you understand
Cos if you share that joint
That wuflu covered joint
It might blow up and kill you, man
Feats don’t fail me now?
I tend to agree with this analysis.
https://spectator.org/democrats-ignore-lockdown-protests-at-their-peril/
Once again, the TDS crew is overplaying their hand and making Trump look like a 34DD chess master. In realty he’s the Washington Generals but instead of the Globetrotters, his opposition is the Junior High C-team.
I’m trying to come up with a way to fit “WNBA” into your hypothesis
WNBA: The Non-Essentialist workers?
They have good fundamentals.
I was scrolling through my feed at The Athletic, and they were trying really really hard to push the WNBA draft as this huge event, interspersing WNBA draft content with NFL draft content. Like, come on, fuck off with that.
They hold a draft? I just assumed everyone that applied was a winner.
Here’s the ting about the WNBA. Those players were awesome in college.
And scene.
Pretty much my analysis. But I have an even lower opinion of his opponents.
They have stated that these are strictly astroturf protests by right wing groups. Therefore, no one needs to listen or think about what the protesters are saying.
My take is that the Confederate and Nazi flags were false ones.
“Facebook is accused of ‘colluding with state governments to quash free speech’ as it shuts down anti-quarantine protest pages”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8237699/Facebook-shuts-anti-quarantine-protest-pages-request-state-governments.html
That is not good.
There are lawsuits being filed as we soeak
Accused? I thought they admitted it?
Did drugs fall out of their asses?
That is where they keep them.
They have just publicly admitted that they are a publication, not a platform.
Yeah, not seeing how that falls under the requirements for their immunity from defamation.
And zero principles to stand on when a more authoritarian government demands that FB censor their pet cause.
Face-who?
At some point in the past few weeks, there was a bait and switch. We’d been told for weeks that all this stay at home stuff was to “bend the curve”, meaning that people will get sick, we just don’t want everyone sick at once. Right now equipment, hospitals, and staff are as prepared as they will ever be for an increase in patients. And yet, we’re told that we can’t open the economy because it will cause an increase in sick people. We’ve gone from bending the curve, to expecting zero infections and zero deaths (which is impossible).
*insert Natalie Portman saying “so this is how liberty dies” here*
Yep. Goalposts getting moved all over the place.
You noticed that, too? That’s because this was just a trial run, to see if they could get away with it. Now they’re going to calibrate how long they can get away with it, and plan on when to use it on us again.
Yup. I’ve noted that as well. At first the justification was “we can’t overwhelm hospitals”. Now it is FYTW.
Exactly right TOK. Add to that the conditions some governors are setting for reopening are so vague as to be useless.
+1 precautionary principle
Buying more ammo.
I’ll re-ask my question from the dead AM thread:
What will “we” do with l those desperately needed respirators Ford and GM were arm-twisted into making?
It seems as if there might be a glut, soon.
What should we do?
Stockpile them, with a budget for maintenance.
Donate or sell them to countries that need ventilators.
What will we do?
No need to wonder. Look at what happened last time we (well, NY) had a surplus of ventilators in response to a pandemic. Refuse to fund maintenance on them, then auction them off as junk.
Buy a barrel of oil, get a ventilator for free, just like the premiums gas stations used to give away and no need to save green stamps
Ventilators? Probably molder in the National Strategic Stockpile warehouses for the next 75 years. Or get thrown like candy at small rural hospitals that have no use or support for them.
Assuming they actually get built and delivered on the promised quantities and not delayed or cancelled in the meantime.
They’ll be stored right next to the Arc of the Covenant. Like this
Yo, I said that 2 weeks ago. And, as I recall, when they needed space in WWII to store some stuff, they found crates of Civil War-era cannon harnesses that were forgotten. Somewhere on line you can probably still buy tropical uniforms made for the blessedly short Spanish American war.
In 1983, the Army authorized the wearing of Viet Nam era jungle fatigues because there was a large surplus and the new Hot Weather BDUs were going to be delayed.
You could buy a set for $7.
Best uniform I ever wore. Like wearing pajamas.
I wear a jungle fatigue jacket as my work jacket in the winter. I love it. Need to get another set actually.
Meanwhile, the US government subsidies mohair goats producers, because of NATIONAL SECURITY.
You can’t make this shit up.
“Meanwhile, the US government subsidies mohair goats producers”
I thought we already bombed them all to death?
That’s why they get the subsidies.
They will be stored in a tax funded warehouse and unceremoniously destroyed or sold when folks decide we don’t need them in a few years. Also it will be discovered that they never really worked anyways. But what’s a few billion? It helped the feelz.
In the caves with the surplus cheese and honey
Place another order asap.
“Yes. The K-word is stronger than the n-word, at least currently. Misogyny and patriarchy has been around longer than slavery. Just don’t use either, ok?”
https://twitter.com/EmillySwaven/status/1251964304150183936
The “K-word”? SMDHLOLWTFDIAF
Kneegro?
Is ‘Negro’ a bad word now? I cant keep up.
A little while back someone here informed me that the word ‘Gay’ no longer means homosexual but I never got if it is bad or good.
‘Gay’ no longer means homosexual
News to me.
I think the dude-bros created that theory back in the 90’s when it became socially unacceptable to make fun of queers. They couldn’t quit saying “That’s gay” or “you’re gay” when ball busting with their buds so they claimed it just meant uncool… oh and that that didn’t mean being gay was uncool, it just meant that the “gay thing” the were talking about was uncool, not being gay…and so on and so on.
Growing up, Fag had nothing to do with sexual orientation… and I had no idea what a homosexual was.
George Carlin put it perfectly:
“A Queer was uhh… well we all knew what queer was. A fag was someone who wouldn’t go out and beat up queer with ya!”
Misogyny and patriarchy has been around longer than slavery
Since both date to pre-history, I wonder how you would even know.
Misogyny was the OG slavery!
The imbecile probably thinks slavery is unique to white America and started in….uh…1619 is it?
Kike?
Parody account.
Ah… well-played then.
Posted this morning, once more for good measure
De Blasio Announces System For Reporting Social Distancing Violations: Knowledgeable Actors Reporting Edict Noncompliance (KAREN)
I would love to see her post that at The Root. ?
Is anybody else being inundated with videos from work where corporate overlords hold up a sign to display some motivational message?
Because apparently health care admin types have nothing better to do with their time.
Would a video of me holding a sign that says “Quit complaining and do your job, or else” count as motivational?
Am I complaining? I suppose I am. You’re not my boss.
*goes back to auditing March denials*
Aspirational. Since stopping my bitching and actually working is a pipe dream at best.
Are those COVIDeos?
You not getting hourly updates by e-mail trying to shoehorn employer into whatever vis-a-vis coronavirus?
Most of you are US, so using that country. The numbers for the ‘weekend’ of 17-19 April are not yet posted, so 10-16 is the latest set.
Swallow is the #1 movie in US box office with $2,787 for those 7 days, not cumulative. The Other Lamb is #2 at $2,490. There is no #3.
https://www.boxofficemojo.com/weekly/2020W15/
That’s…. amazing.
I’m beginning to think COVID was a Netflix conspiracy
Does netflix own any 5g towers?
Apparently, they own them all.
What about Italian patriots?
* The NET cost of their elderly and of their disabled sub-elderly was not sustainable. Cutting back the safety net was not going far enough despite ‘austerity’ to fix the economic problem. COVID-19 deaths…
* China and the Chinese were buying up Italy’s assets at a level Italy’s right wing does not like. Releasing COVID in Wuhan plus the allegations of coverup sour Italian public’s view of China.
* COVID-19 is having a disproportionate effect on Iran’s leadership, even if it missed #1.
Disclaimer: Conspiracy theory. Not saying it happened.
Swallow about a pregnant women who keeps swallowing more “objects” and a movie about an all female cult led by a man. I didn’t know porn movie houses still existed.
Mammary Monday is massive mounds of magnificence.
http://archive.li/UXazv
#1 is both impressive and high maintenance.
I kinda like #3, #7, #74, #79
#32 has an interesting choice of outfit for a shooting range trip.
I’m sitting in my bathroom office with a beer, shooting squirrels because my wife wants them away from her tomato plants, all while posting on a glib website.
/modern living
I wish I could shoot out my window.
Pellet rifles are useful
Yeah, I have shot critters with my pellet gun here. My great uncle used to shoot bucks out of his kitchen window with a 12 ga.
I don’t want to go deaf
You mean like this?
Scruffy wishes he could afford glass to put in his windows.
Everyone wants what the other guy has.
If you have another tab open to PornHub I’d say you’ve reached the pinnacle of human evolution.
Wife is in the next room. Evolution will have to wait
Two down, 800 to go
Three for three
I’m on today
Four
It’s like Hitchcock’s The Birds out there, except with tree rats.
Five
They keep coming
Listen and understand. Those squirrels can’t be bargained with. They can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until your tomatoes are dead.
* golf clap*
Nail the ones already down to trees as a warning.
Want to keep squirrels out of your tomatoes? Plant pear trees.
One year I shot nearly 100 squirrels. I still got zero pears and I could not tell a difference in the squirrel population.
Mmmmmm squirrels. Fried with gravy and taters. Mmmmmmhmmmmm.
No bacon?
*Checks username*
Do not dispose head decapitating cook gravy
https://www.neatorama.com/neatolicious/2014/08/29/How-to-Cook-Squirrel-Brains/
OFFS
https://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/2020/04/ann-arbor-council-to-vote-on-adopting-1b-carbon-neutrality-plan-tonight.html
LOLOLOL. Idiots.
And people wonder how Whitmer won. Never forget she used an alleged (made up) sexual assault to win. And a communications major. And a lawyer.
City residents will pay $10/month to virtue signal. City, here’s a $1 billion plan. What a bunch of clowns.
How does giving money to another person mean carbon neutrality? Oh…carbon neutrality has nothing to do with carbon and everything to do with giving money to someone else. I get it now.
We can only solve climate change by giving government money. It’s never by reducing subsidies to farmers for growing corn for ethanol. It’s never reducing the military footprint all over the world. It’s never letting people hunt and fish without forking over hundreds of dollars. It’s never about any form of reducing government spending. Always just give us more money you stupid sheep, we are your betters.
Tried this one? Tell Leftie assume sake argument Apocalyptic Manmade Climate Change. Manmade CO2 somehow different natural CO2. Atmospheric levels CO2 rising. Somehow rising CO2 levels will mean extinction of Life on Earth. Assuming all of that for the moment. Let Leftie squirm and semi-protest because substance assumptions Left but wording wrong.
Then get to two choices:
* Volunteer to be poor. Leftie should lead by example.
* Fracking and nuclear. Lefties objections to both no longer matter because alternative is End of All Life on Earth.
If Leftie reads enough The Atlantic, be prepared for cannot build more nuclear because in their reality building plants take too long and SCIENCE says nuke plant more than 1 TW impossible.
Somehow we could build nuclear submarines and aircraft carriers that are powered off a basketball sized piece of material for 50 years but it’s impossible to update that tech? GFY with a rusty fencepost.
Said ‘their reality’. Not ours.
If you pay a person to not eat a burrito that they wouldn’t have eaten anyway you reduce carbon. And as we all know, methane is a more powerful greenhouse gas. It’s science and economics.
Today, in incandescent stupidity, Ocasio-Cortez’s deep thoughts on the oil market.
Note: Tweet apparently deleted, but not before it got screen-shotted.
She should really call BU and ask for a refund.
They should preemptively offer a refund and get out ahead of it.
Derp
Wow.
Playa commented on her revised tweet. I think he’s got a crush.
The state of New Jersey just shut down a drive-through display of tulips.
The govt heard about this subversive Libertarian chick named Tulip and had to crack down on unauthorized Tulip displays.
He thought it was a strip club.
“I had sex with three men and now I’m pregnant but my husband thinks the baby is his”
https://www.thesun.co.uk/dear-deidre/10371198/sex-with-three-men-pregnant/
lolwut
LOLwut she says she had an upset stomach while she was there “so I guess that means I’m pregnant.”
Lady, you need to learn how to count and/or get some Pepcid for your guilt/stress nausea.
Let him keep believing that.
So Chavilicious
Is he not supposed to think that? Maybe you should tell him a test is needed?
How did interview go Brett?
Good. Although I think I am going to work for myself. I’m just not interested in being an employee any more. Set up an LLC. Buying insurance and domain. As soon as I get the EIN certificate back from the IRS, I’m opening a bank account. Then I can hate my boss and have nobody to blame but myself.
Perfect.
Good luck, man!
My boss is a bitch. Some Glibs can concur.
Best wishes!
I am in dire emotional need of new office supplies, but I don’t really need office supplies at all.
I. Want. Office. Supplies.
My wife has that same malady. She gets all excited about folders and paperclips and pens. I can’t understand it. But, to be fair, she probably can’t understand my excitement when I get a new ratcheting, stubby, 18mm combination wrench.
Um…may I have both?
*hides new tool from XY*
Awesome! To your success?
I wish I could shoot out my window.
Stimulus!
My wife really wants me to pull the trigger on buying some land.
Wait
Raw land will get cheaper
Well me problem is that I would like to be within 20 minutes of civilization but still get some decent acreage without paying a ton of money for it and I don’t think that’s going to get any easier to find.
When I say civilization I don’t mean big city, just some stuff to do. Like near a small college town.
Civilization, like a college town?
Does not compute.
They have to have grocery, movie theater, some bars and restaurants, brewery would be great. I’m not looking for much. Just more than a walmart, fast food, and one mostly empty bar of 70 yo alcoholics.
Where are you now?
Here.
Columbus, OH
two words for you, my friend. Just 2…..Plain City.
It’s not out of the question. I’m really looking for some woods though.
We’ve been checking out near Athens.
Spawn1 went to Ohio U. He wants to get some land outside of Athens some day. It’s a beautiful area and the land looks cheap when he shows me places.
Yeah, it has enough stuff to do for me and it’s pretty. Wayne National Forest. Near Hocking Hills. Hour and half from family in CBus. KY and TN also options though.
So you are saying the bank would have him over the barrel if he pulled the trigger now?
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1252204786059018240
LOLOLOLOLOL
God King Emperor Of Twitter Trolls. I’d actually mind it if I didn’t sit through way too many of these press conferences and watch almost every question from the press boil down to “Have you stopped beating your wife?” Even my kids are appalled at the way the press behaves during those stupid coronavirus task force briefings. The media finally has the president they so justly deserve.
Biden really is a gift.
OMG. Best timeline.
Ahh TRIA – the “temporary” program from 9/11 has naturally birthed PRIA.
Open your wallets everyone!
So, my son chose the right field – no shortage of work.
“Voluntary for re/insurers” – check.
Well you’re going to have to cover pandemic so would you like reinsurance or not? It will be cheap and taxpayer subsidized so you’d pretty much be foolish not to take it…
“I had sex with three men and now I’m pregnant but my husband thinks the baby is his”
How could it be the husband’s? He was operating the camera, the whole time.
I was wondering if he was one of the three men.
Indications are he is not a man so I’m guessing no.
Served with Chianti and fava beans?
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/cannibal-stabbed-girlfriend-hacked-legs-21898037
Ladies, he’s single!
He looks surprisingly normal. I wonder what Ukranian prisons are like, probably not too nice a place to be.
You know that dude is pissed. The ONE time he brings his whole family fishing and that is the time he finds an unused ass in a bag. You know if the fam hadn’t been along that murderer would also be facing additional charges of anal rape.
“Unused ass in a bag”
Dibs on the album name
STEVE SMITH HANDLE BUTTOCKS IN BAG
This is why I love this place. We take the most horrible nightmares imaginable and turn them into jokes.
I love y’all.
You are in a good mood because you found an unused vagina in a ziploc bag during your last walk through your woods.
Find a pussy pick it up; all day long you?ll have good fuck
I larfed. Mr. Mojeaux groaned.
At least she was observing COVID precautions and wore a mask.
He was on quarantine. He couldn’t go to the grocery store.
So you’re saying the death is Covid-related.
Local, transgressive alt-weekly is on the scene, covering mask wearing. Wherein a reporter sees people not wearing masks, and makes a lot of assumptions about those people….
https://www.westword.com/news/covid-19-and-the-rich-colorado-town-that-doesnt-care-about-masks-11693416
“A Saturday, April 18, trip to Castle Pines suggested that residents of this extremely affluent area south of Denver think that huge piles of money will keep the virus at bay. ”
“One young family included a mom and three kids, all masked; the only exception was Dad, a macho type who seemed to think COVID-19 wouldn’t dare mess with him.”
Etc. Way to speak truth to power while sticking it to the man, alt-weekly.
That article reads like Facebook post
He should take a visit to a poor area and report back on the rate of mask wearing there. I wonder if he’s one of the fuckers that was ridiculing people who wanted masks only a week ago before the CDC liars changed their minds?
I bet the wife took away Macho Man Dad’s mask for some unknown reason. NSFW (and I posted it this morning, but I have been laughing at it all day)
Or, perhaps the family didn’t have enough masks for everyone, and Dad decided the masks should go to his wife and children.
That would be the worst sin ever!*
*only in theory. If actually happened in real life I’m sure the same women who berate men for holding doors open for them would be the first to demand their seat in the lifeboat.
Lima beans are the Nick Gillespie of the legume family. Discuss.
Peanuts
Hard jacket, disappointing contents
Peanuts serve a useful purpose while drinking, tho.
They’re good cooked with a big chunk of ham and served over rice so I’m going to have to disagree. I’d say lentils (are lentils legumes?).
If that means they’re disgusting, I agree.
^^^
Baby limas. Cook them in chicken stock with lots of bacon cut into 1/2 X 1/2 inch squares. Black pepper. Toss in a few slices of jalapeño.
Cook your rice in chicken stock, add lots of butter and sweet basil. Serve the limas over the rice with some cornbread on the side.
You will change your mind after the first bite.
It also helps to add some chopped jalapeños in the cornbread batter.
Damn. Now I am hungry.
It all sounds delightful, except for the fucking lima beans.
Legumes, particularly those repellent limas, are gross and unnecessary.
I think this is the real North versus South cultural divide.
That recipe works well with green beans, field peas, limas, butter beans….etc.
*Plants flag in pea patch with greasy, bacony hands*
Baby limas
I read that first as Baby llamas and was thinking “Damn Suthen sure is country”.
I like succotash.
Me too. I hated Lima beans as a kid. As an adult, I’ve grown to like them.
https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/1250197068020318208
Not creepy at all.
Maybe all of this is just a bad dream I’m having.
I’m sorry, but Andy has to fire Barney over this bullshit. It was bad enough when Barney was running Checkpoint Chickie but that drone shit is beyond the pale.
It would sure be terrible if someone with a mask knocked that thing out of the sky.
What a sunny and lovely day here in house arrest, CA!
The fact that it’s pleasant to sit outside is the only thing keeping me sane at present.
Ladies of Liberty. Posted on AM thread but was dead.
https://twitter.com/TweetsByBritt/status/1252240563862003713?s=19
Say, is that a lion in your pocket?
Brings back a lot of discombobulated memories.
It was a strange time.
But that lineup was tight.
No doubt.
Also tight, and funky
Morris Day and the MFKN Time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2FPQvwhSDY
O-E-O-E-O
Dr Anthony Fauci has warned that if the US moves too quickly to end stay-at-home orders there could be another surge in Covid-19 cases.
Fuck him. Fire Fauci.
Well since they’re going to start testing everyone, that’s a pretty easy prediction. Doesn’t mean shit though. We have millions of more cases but the virus had zero impact on those people. WTF cares.
We may not have such a golden chance at another crisis in a long time! Opportunities are there to be had! Opportunities… must seize…. opp…. can’t… fading…
Hey! That’s America’s Doctor! You’re going to try to hit him in the knee with a stick, aren’t you?
The thing is, he’s right. To the extent (which is completely unknown, BTW) that the lockdown has been effective, there will be an increase in Commie Cough patients when it ends.
But that’s just the start of the analysis, not the end. How much of an increase? At what cost? Theoretically, he could provide some insight into the first question (although not much, because we don’t have a clue whether or to what extent the lockdown has actually reduced the spread of the Commie Cough). And the second is completely beyond his scope.
And unless the second wave will be much worse than the first, it provides no justification for keeping the lockdown on, because it would have to be much worse to overwhelm the healthcare system.
That’s the thing. The predictions were no doubt overblown but the nannies will say that the low counts were because of the lock downs. Of course there’s no alternative reality to compare to because even in the same countries, different states have different population densities, demographics, etc.
You can get a rough cut on how effective the lockdown has been, I think. It would be very rough.
But why isn’t the burden of proof on those would impose and extend an unprecedented and hugely destructive policy? Why don’t the Branch Covidians have to prove up the effectiveness of their lockdown in order to get it extended?
Because they’re in charge unfortunately. That could change but probably won’t.
https://wattsupwiththat.com/daily-coronavirus-covid-19-data-graph-page/#001
The lockdown was a mistake. Sweden shows why. Exact same trajectory as U.S. but no lockdown.
Anger.
From what I’m hearing else by someone living in Sweden, to say there is no lock down is both correct and somewhat misleading. Social distancing is very much going on, though largely voluntary. Their economy is going down as well. 8% unemployment and rising.
Radio Sweden’s weekly English-language program actually had a reasonable interview with a Norwegian “expert” who objected to the use of the word “experiment” regarding what Sweden was doing and said he understood why Norway handled things the way they did and Sweden handled things the different way they did.
Refreshing to hear something that wasn’t “How dare they not panic!”
I understand what you’re saying. But Fauci’s been wrong and following wrong models. Fuck him. Fire him.
I don’t find it that upsetting. The man’s a doctor, not an economist, and I’d expect him to advocate from a doctor’s perspective. Trump’s listening to him but is also giving his ear to others who realize there are other concerns as well which is as good as we can realistically hope for.
I doubt he has actually provided any patient care in decades, so I hesitate to call him a “doctor” with a “doctor’s perspective” in that sense.
He’s a bureaucrat and an epidemiologist. As the latter, he should not just say “could be a surge”. He should do some sciencing, show his work, and let us know how much of a surge and whether it will exceed capacity.
I fault him for failing to do that.
If he said “There is a possibility that there will be a second wave, but we have no reason to believe/we are concerned it will exceed health system capacity because blah blah”, then I would say he is doing his job.
Not even an epidemiologist, he’s a public health expert. One is a (supposedly) a scientist, the other is a political animal.
Interesting how Fauci has become the public face of the “expert” chorus, yet seems to be 3-4 management layers at CDC that supposedly deal with infectious diseases that don’t seem to be showing up at all in public.
Making unfalsifiable claims seems to be all the rage these days for people who wear lab coats in front of cameras.
He’s an epidemiologist
For decades the epidemiologists have been banging the warning drum about the next pandemic. How way more funding is needed. How they need more power to get shit done. Then they’ve had to suffer through a bunch of false alarms: avian flu, SARS, H1N1, MERS, ebola.
Finally they got the attention, power and money they’ve been craving. Not because the actual pandemic was so horrible, but because the media was determined to fan any flames they thought would make Trump look bad.
The problem is that in numbers (so far) this pandemic doesn’t seem that much worse than any of those other false alarms. What is an epidemiologist to do? You can’t imagine that your predictions were wrong again. At best no one would ever listen to you again. At worst, they might slash your budget.
So you keep your foot on the gas and hope you can get ahead of the story.
You are talking about that cunt Osterholm, aren’t you?
That guy has never issued a measured response in his professional career.
Recording of today’s protest in Harrisburg, PA
Looks like a good turn-out. Of course, there are a few folks riding their hobby horse like the guy holding the anti-gay marriage sign. I saw a few rifles. There is a police presence.
That’s awesome.
At about the one hour mark, a state senator admonishes the crowd for not practicing social distancing or wearing a mask. She gets shouted down.
Them deporables got some them racist snake flags again. Figures.
Look, the fist part of the Green New Deal needs to be building those camps for the deplorables.
Do you know else liked to hold gatherings on April 20th?
Alois Hilter & wife Klara ?
Janet Reno?
My apologies if drugs fall out of my ass (I wish): skaters shovel out previously filled-in skate park:
https://twitter.com/coltybrah/status/1252057406999126016
Excellent young men.
Seconded.
Tragic young victims of Trump’s war on science.
That was supposed to be down HERE, wordpress:
My apologies if drugs fall out of my ass (I wish): skaters shovel out previously filled-in skate park:
https://twitter.com/coltybrah/status/1252057406999126016
Oh, I just give up.
Ha! But look at all the shit covered drugs you have now.
*pulls on nitrile gloves, gingerly picks up drugs laying on ground*
Sir, I believe these are your drugs.
Pass.
You deplorables, you hate green, hate new, and hate deals.
People who show up to protest because OUTRAGE! have conditioned pols to pay little attention to protests. When people start showing up to protest because they are actually hurting it is going to be a painful wakeup call to those pols.
Yep, they’re playing with fire and being dismissive or hostile is not the way to handle it.
They’ve gotten away with playing a game, making a game out of playing with people’s lives for way too long. It’s because so little of what they do actually affects most people with much impact because America is such a prosperous country.
Now they are actually starting to hurt people. They keep it up for much longer and it won’t be a game anymore.
Someone in the morning thread linked to this article by Mark Rippetoe. From the article:
I’m going to make a prediction: Sometime maybe next year, there will be proposals in some state(s)* to combat this uncertainty by coming up with some sort of pre-qualification/licensing/certification scheme for “essential” businesses that are allowed to stay open. For some unknown reason, a large part of being determined “essential” will be hiring union labor and donating to the correct “nonprofit” foundations.
*this seems most likely to happen in any state that rhymes with “balifornia”
It was me and I’ve distributed that article widely. With much hilarity, I might add.
Turns out chubby proggies don’t care about the fitness industry and can’t see the bigger picture.
Shocked?
My personal theory is that proggies in general are idiots unable to to make fine distinctions between concepts that superficially look the same. Here is a perfect example. They completely miss the point. It has nothing to do with the fitness industry.
Perry Mason prequel coming to HBO soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwURtbhpm60
Why?
Because in the new one, Perry Mason will be played by a woke trangendered butch dyke and that Burger guy will be played by Rand Paul, worst of all the deplorables.
Of course Perry will always win and Rand Paul will always lose, just like God intended it.
Any more questions?
“Washington State’s newest justice is a black, gay, disabled, lesbian immigrant.”
https://twitter.com/Slate/status/1251931859262615553
Wow, xer has checked all the boxes. Is there a reason someone should care, that someone would bother posting that on the Twatter?
So gay + lesbian = heterosexual? Like a double-negative?
“gay + lesbian”
That’s an extra checkbox. You don’t do the maths?
Doubleplusgood.
“lesbian immigrant” is someone who moved here from Lesbos.
In the first TV (the books were the original), Perry lost three times.
Well Paul Drake is black in this version
Isn’t that show very old?
Get off my lawn, millennial.
Because the H-crowd is mostly unimaginative and cant come up with anything new. Everything these days are re-makes and sequels and remakes of sequels.
Raymond Burr is Perry Mason, and I dont mean the later ’80s movies, I mean the original B&W portrayals of a world that is long gone and sorely missed by me. There is no other. Wife and I have them all on DVD.
I was watching a Perry Mason episode the other night in which a guy, who is financing a race car engine development program, is murdered. It’s a new engine that’s going to revolutionize the automotive world! It has no valves, no cam shafts, and no pistons, and they call it a “rotary.” We then get to see the car in action, and it clearly has a piston engine in it, but hey, it was the 50s. Perry caught the bad guy in the end. I love that show.
Yes, HBO remaking Perry Mason is like HBO remaking The Andy Griffith Show.
Wherein Andy and Helen are having a torrid affair whilst everyone else believes their romance to be sweet, innocent, and utterly chaste.
HBO could totally get away with remaking The Addams Family or The Beverly Hillbillies.
*thinks about what HBO could do with Ellie Mae*
*see Leslie Jones
Who doesn’t want to see Opey Cunningham as an obese pink and green haired non-binary woke scold?
I remember that one.
Believe it or not the last time I saw it I thought of you.
I hope your thought went something like, “The only people I know who like those things are mad. Mad I say!”
Warren William has a sad.
Road-tripping with my mom a couple of years ago, we stopped in a hotel and they had the old black-and-white Saint TV series on. It was surprisingly sophisticated and snarky. I loved it and she was amused (almost delighted) that I did. I got her the DVD set for Christmas.
Warren William is the original B
How the hell did it cut off my comment like that?
I was going to add a point of trivia that one of Errol Flynn’s first Hollywood roles was a brief one as the murder victim in The Case of the Curious Bride.
Because it may entertain some people and get eyes on screens, maybe make HBO some money? You know, capitalism.
Perhaps my question should have been:
Was there a unsated desire for yet another show about lawyers, particularly one about a morbidly obese one that only your grandparents remember?
They’ll never know until they try. Also, if no one remembers him is the fact that it’s a remake/prequel even relevant?
This is a recurring debate within me. I liked Born Yesterday (because REASONS), with Melanie Griffith. I did NOT know it was a remake.
So there I am, hating remakes, yet finding out that more and more movies I like are remakes of things made in the 40s and 50s I would never have known about because I am not a cinephile.
50 years? 60 years? What would it take?
I really liked the Brosnan/Russo The Thomas Crowne Affair. Never seen the original.
I pretty much stop at “I like Brosnan.” *fans self*
Don’t forget all those remakes of silent films. Or how the Maltese Falcon is the third film version of the novel. The second version even…gasp…. gender swapped the Fat Man! Don’t tell Angelica…
And people called the Born Yesterday remake not as good as the original even then.
The original stars Steve McQueen. You’ll need a fan for that one too.
Did they ever make another after The Last Remake of Beau Geste?
You’ll need a fan for that one too.
QFT
And Faye Dunaway. Yum.
Enjoy the erotic chess game.
Does a BBC miniseries count?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beau_Geste_(TV_series)
@Winston
I’m sure. I mean, it was Melanie Griffith after all.
I am well aware that it’s kind of a dud, but I like it for a philosophical reason, not an aesthetic one.
My point was, I didn’t know it was a remake and I was introduced to a cute story because someone remade it.
Yet I “don’t like remakes.” Maybe it’s just that I don’t like 16 Batmans in my lifetime.
What’s Camryn Mannheim ? Chopped liver ?
Since it’s HBO, we’ll finally get to see Della’s boobs.
Report from the grocery store:
I have renewed faith in my neighbors. Almost everyone studiously ignored me. A couple of amused chuckles and one “I love your mask” in the parking lot. No humorless scolds.
Penis mask?
Kind of.
https://www.glibertarians.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/IMG_20200409_172427-scaled.jpg
I think the hat and the undermask are what makes it work.
Love it! You win this day.
please tell me you had the leather coat and poking-stick, too
Today a truckload of brand name toilet paper showed up at my door from the Amazon Pantry. It has to be 5 years worth of TP, but wife is happy.
I assume this means the apocalypse is over, so when can we go outside again?
I was just checking my tomato plants, I have 2 blooming, both Patios.
Never. It’s dangerous outside.
https://twitter.com/heckyessica/status/1251730280139960323
Woah. WTF.
The commentary ???
Hey Seansteaksteak didn’t turn as bright red as yours do, maybe more salt or time? I’ll be working on it.
I try to let them sit at least 24 hours.
If I have time, I do 48 hours.
Kosher or pink Himalayan salt.
Maybe more WD-40?
PB Blaster > WD-40
It is known.
Oh, and lol
I have to say it was very tasty, one of the best steaks I’ve had in a while, a little early to say it was due entirely to the dry brine* but I’m definitely adding this to my standard meat prep.
*I nailed the sauteed mushrooms, and perfect mushrooms can make even a sub-par steak acceptable.
It won’t make a bad steak good, but it will make a good steak great.
The results are real. Real tastey.
Take your Thorazine Leslie.
https://www.lifezette.com/2020/04/former-saturday-night-live-star-leslie-jones-calls-for-trumps-name-to-be-put-on-all-coronavirus-death-certificates/
Her ratings/popularity whatever they call it must be down.
She was never that popular to begin with. But to your point, yeah it’s just attention seeking.
Yeah, she’s just not that funny. Her only joke persona was “tough, angry black woman” which she fit to a T, but she was unpleasant and not funny.
I have never seen her perform. I looked at the article and had to think for a minute….yeah, she looks familiar, sorta.
She’s the even worse version of Wanda Sykes.
We need more Aisha Tylers.
The gal who voices Lana on Archer? Hell yeah!
Wanda Sykes used to be hilarious though. Remember when she was on the Chris Rock HBO show?
MSNBC/CNN/ETC have gone all in that the the anti-lockdown protesters are a bunch of right-wing gun nuts.
Never saw her on SNL, but when she was on Pyramid I always wanted her to tone it the fuck down.
Not quite as bad as Mario Cantone, but still pretty bad.
Random question just based on some articles I’ve seen the last couple days….anyone else not received their Trumpbucks yet? I’m already seeing articles about trying to catch folks who wouldn’t normally receive it due to income status.
just curious if anyone else who filed in ’18-’19 hasn’t received anything yet?
Nothing here.
Nope. But we’ll be getting a check, not direct deposit.
Nada here as well.
Haven’t received mine either.
I received mine last week.
I got some. About enough for 1 week of rent. Yay.
holy dick batman, isn’t it like 1200 bucks?
Not if you made significantly more than $75k
y’all need more tax deductions.
I didn’t get anywhere near that.
None for me yet, but I had to enter my direct deposit info after the fact.
The IRS took our Fed taxes out of the Mr.’s account the other day, but no Trumpbucks have gone in yet. We filed using TurboTax – has that been established as one possible cause of a delay?
I use Taxact. Taxes filed. No Trump checks.
Did you check their website?
I get a ‘status cannot be determined’ message. Apparently a LOT of people are getting it for unknown reasons.
Government as always, dependable.
I used Taxact last year, but this year they wanted $50 because I have an 8880 for the credit for 401k contributions. Turbo Tax was still free.
I got the same message.
I paid taxes via my checking deposit when I filed through H&R Block.
Did you get a Trump check?
I used TurboTax, I got my refund and the stimulus refund.
Not only have I not received my trumpbux but I still haven’t received my income tax refund.
Nor the alleged refund from my insurance co.
BG marathon on. Tricia Helfer so damn hot.
Boomer > Starbuck
I do have a thing for Boomer bangs.
My granddaughter was named Kara after Starbuck.
Imagine an unlimited supply of Tricia Helfers.
The Cylons had it right.
Is there anything more delicious than a homemade hamburger?
For dessert, a glass of Beam with chocolate syrup.
“Beam with chocolate syrup”
??? How’s that work?
i am trying to decide on: brisket sliders, brisket tacos, brisket taquitos or brisket enchiladas…
Obviously I am making chicken 🙂
Yum
Brisket tacos.
So is losing guns an acceptable trade-off for legal pot? Canadian libertarians must know.
Did you hit your head?
When he fell out of his boat.
Well I did store all my guns in there…
Sure, until they decide to take back the legal pot they promised you, you know, after they have your guns, and then you can’t do anything about it. Then you have neither and you’re shit out of luck.
“you’re shit out of luck”
Pretty much already covered if you’re in Canukistan
Just pointing out that Turdeau Jr. is a gun grabbing pot legalizer something that libertarians for 50 years thought was an impossible political combination.
Just like I said. They can take back the legal weed whenever they want. Not much an unarmed populace can do. And maybe the fact that everyone is stoned will make them more compliant. That’s how tyrants think.
Well my point is more that libertarians didn’t seem to realize that a tyrant might want to legalize pot since back in the 1960s and 1970s that seemed like something a tyrant would never accept for any reason.
It’s funny how the Menace™ changes like that from generation to generation.
Well that’s the thing society always has things it likes and dislikes and these always change. And politicians play on or create these fears for their own gain.
And all the talk about “social tolerance” and weed, Mexicans and Ass-Sex show how libertarians either did not realize this or wanted society to have the exact same mores as them.
I mean Weed, Mexicans and Ass-Sex were the Menace in 1960s and 1970s for people libertarians hated so it was assumed that the victories for these “menaces” would mean the end of all “menaces” for all time or make agree with libertaisn on everything.
And before HM says anything yes I am aware of the issues with saying “society” likes or dislikes something which is part of the problem. Is something bad because 51% of people in the same country, state, county or city think it is bad? Or is it whatever the majority of intellectuals (however you define them!) don’t like right at this very moment?
And I do agree that if the political class decides in the future that Pot is bad again they will ban it again of course.
The political class who have kindly ‘allowed’ people to smoke some weed on their terms, something which is an outrage that it was ever illegal, did not do so because they approve of it. Or because they think anyone should be allowed to do anything because they have a right to do so. They’ve done it, reluctantly, because they want votes, not for any other reason whatsoever. And they will gladly undo it in an instant if they believe it furthers their political career or is no longer needed to keep them in power.
Where are the Mass. plague death numbers for the day? Every day starting from 4 pm I click on the link with today’s numbers. Still nothing.
Even with gaming the shit out of the numbers, this fucking virus won’t cooperate with the doomsayers.
You’re all going to die. Now go back inside and wait, citizen.
They changed the URL. A completely different format from the past. Much more information. Deaths with underlying conditions: 97.5%. Average age of deaths in confirmed COVID-19 cases: 81.
Stop trying to make people not afraid, deplorable!
I still do not know anyone or anyone who even knows anyone who has it or has had it. But I suppose we need to cower in place and wait to get it.
Then again, I don’t live in Manhattan, which is the only place in the USA that matters.
A friend of mine in England, and his wife and daughter, all caught it. He tells me he spent 2 days in bed feeling miserable and much like he had the flu, and then it he got over it.
A friend of mine in Brooklyn had suspect CoVID, and reported essentially the same thing. He got better.
Cuomo didn’t know coronavirus patients are being sent back to nursing homes
OFFS. Where else did you think they were going to go?
Florida?
Too late in the season.
PS. Are they really “patients” or are we being fast and loose with words again?
To Cuomo’s house? I hear Pelosi will be taking the spillovers.
To the morgue. The Commie Cough is fatal. No treatment. You get it, you’re a goner.
*turns volume up on CNN*
Obviously Trump’s fault.
I’d like to offer a compromise. Private sector all goes back to work. Public sector stays at home. For the children.
“Public sector stays at home.”
I note that you didn’t include the word ‘work’ in that one. I get it. Also, ‘without pay’.
https://www.aier.org/article/the-worst-public-policy-in-a-century/
I think he might be correct here.
I fear you might be overly optimistic about the reaction to the coronavirus lockdown. And that those newbie pols will have ideas you like.
Hey Animal – great article this afternoon. Missed it as usual. Not sure if these quotes showed up at all afterwards – just found this site ;p – http://sightm1911.com/lib/rkba/Cooper_Quotes.htm
Might quibble with the last one, since the government won’t let me have “the individual weapon currently issued to the regular establishment”.
Well, technically none of the qualification measures for any service (that I’m aware of) require more than semi-auto fire so any AR-15 series should work for these purposes.
Definite quibble with the “duty under the Constitution” part, I’m dyslexic but something something positive/negative rights. I also thought I had a problem with the last bit as well but then I realized that I don’t give a rat’s whether I’m considered a responsible citizen or not.