The boy who breaks everything was used to not being touched very often. Certain touches were fine: a pat on the head, his father holding his upper arm to guide him away from people, his grandmother dryly pecking at his cheek. But he was told to keep his hands to himself at school and at home. There was no more snuggling on the couch with his mother when they watched TV. And his parents bolted their door when they went to sleep at night; they couldn’t risk him crawling under the covers to be with them.
***
“He’s getting worse,” he heard his father say one morning. The boy was eating breakfast from a heavy steel bowl with a heavy steel spoon while sitting gingerly on a heavy steel stool. His parents thought he couldn’t hear them arguing in the garage.
“He’s just fine,” he heard his mother reply. “Fine” was her favorite word.
“It’s not just bruises any longer,” his father said. “He broke that girl’s arm!”
“He’s special. I’ve told the school that. They have to make accommodations. He didn’t mean to break her arm,” his mother said.
“He never means to do it!’ his father yelled.
The boy tensed and the handle of the spoon split down the middle, the steel peeling away. He carefully got off his stool and dropped the broken spoon into a recycling bin. He crossed to the stove and took a few deep breaths before taking an identical spoon from a tray on the counter. It was cold and heavy and dull in his hand and it didn’t break.
***
The boy that breaks everything had visited doctors with his mother. She was calm and clear-eyed when she explained what was wrong with her son. The doctors never believed her, not even the time he sat down in a heavy chair and the legs shattered, dumping him to the floor.
One doctor had explained to his mother the diagnostic parameters of Munchausen’s By Proxy and the boy had cried and tried to tell the doctor that his mother had never hurt him. The doorknob came off the door when he tried to run from the office, so he pushed on it and the door slammed to the floor. They had fled before the doctor could react; his mother herding him to the car without touching him. He spent the entire ride home with his hands in his armpits and didn’t stop crying until his father got home.
***
“Maybe we should send him somewhere,” his father said.
“What do you mean by that?” his mother asked. The boy trembled at the shock and fear in her voice.
“Somewhere he could get some help,” his father said. “A hospital.”
“He is not SICK!” his mother yelled.
The boy who breaks everything took a few deep breaths with his eyes closed then picked up his empty bowl and his spoon and carefully walked them to the sink. He wasn’t allowed to touch the dishwasher any longer. He went over to the door out to the garage. He could hear that his mother was crying. The floor beneath him creaked ominously.
“After the girl and… the car, he might be considered to be dangerous,” his father said. “What if the school had called the police? What if the girl’s parents had pressed charges?”
“You’re not talking about a hospital,” his mother said quietly.
“What if the police come to the house and he gets upset?” his father asked.
“He wouldn’t hurt anyone!”
“Tell that to the girl at school. Both bones in her forearm, her elbow out of joint.” The boy heard his father shuffling his feet, loud in the empty garage.
The boy watched his sister glide through the kitchen like a ghost. She saw him at the door to the garage when she opened the refrigerator. She froze, wary like prey, then grabbed a bottle of water and scurried back to her room.
***
“I’ll be good, Mommy!” he had told her as they had driven home from school earlier in the week.
“It’s not a matter of being good or bad, sweetie,” his mother had told him. “Even if you hurt someone on accident, they’ve still been hurt. Do you understand?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt her!” he had said, tears running down his face. “I was just helping her up. She fell!” The car shuddered and the wheel seemed to twist itself out her hands.
“Calm down,” she told him, hiding the alarm in her voice. “Breathe slowly, in and out, in and out.” His face was pale under his freckles and his chest rattled when he inhaled and exhaled.
“The school is going to want more testing before they are going to let you go back,” she said steadily.
“They kicked me out of school?” he asked.
“No, no,” she said quickly. “Just a few days off. There’s nothing wrong with you. Like snow days. You can play in the yard and we can go to the park.”
“I wasn’t mad at her! I was just helping her up!”
“Strong emotions seem to do it,” his mother blurted out. She had never told him her theory. “Even,” she said. “Calm. Neither happy or sad.” She took her eyes off the road and looked at him. His face was red, squeezed in on itself.
“I’m a freak!” he yelled. He kicked the dashboard under the glove box and his foot went through it. The window beside him crazed. The radio squealed and died. He slapped his hands against the dash in frustration.
“Calm down!” his mother said. But it was too late. The engine made a noise like it was being torn in half and the car rolled to a stop.
***
“We’re going to keep him here until we can decide where to send him,” his father said over his mother’s sobbing.
“What about school?” his mother wailed.
“We’ll homeschool him for now,” his father said.
“What about his friends?” his mother asked.
“You know he doesn’t have any friends,” his father said. There was no cruelty in his voice; he was just stating a fact.
His mother cried harder.
“And keep him away from that new car!”
***
The boy that breaks everything walked away from the garage door and went upstairs to his bedroom. He walked softly up every step and closed his bedroom door with a gentle click. He sat down carefully on the mattress on the floor and stared up at the crack in the ceiling of his roof. He breathed, anxiety knotting up in him. “Neither happy or sad,” he whispered. “Neither happy or sad.” He heard the garage door open beneath him and the new car squeal out of the driveway. In the pregnant quiet of the house, he heard his mother coming up the stairs.
“Sweetie?” she said at his door. “Are you doing OK?” She checked on him like this dozens of times a day.
“Yes, Momma,” he said.
“There’s a… spoon in the recycling bin.”
“I didn’t mean to, Momma.”
“I know, sweetie. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
“OK.”
“I love you,” she said, but couldn’t keep the sadness out of her voice.
“I love you too, Momma.”
***
He traced the cracks with his eyes and concentrated on breathing until he heard a car door close. His father was back. He got up carefully from the mattress and went to his window. His father was circling the new car, bending down to read the tires, opening the trunk and closing it, opening each door and the hood in turn.
“I love you, Daddy,” he said to the closed window. He watched until his father finally came inside.
“Neither happy or sad,” he whispered. He opened his bedroom door quietly and tiptoed past his sister’s room and down the stairs. His mother and father were talking quietly in the living room. He went to the front door and unlocked it.
“Neither happy or sad,” he said under his breath.
He opened the front door and screen door just enough to slide outside. He held onto the screen door as it closed and let it rest on the strike plate rather than click closed. He walked carefully across the porch and onto the driveway.
“Neither happy or sad,” he said with every step. The sun was hot on his face and hands. He needed to pee. And keep him away from that new car! his father’s voice kept saying in his mind. “Neither happy or sad, neither happy or sad,” the boy began to chant.
He reached out and touched the handle of the car door. Nothing happened. He opened the door. It didn’t fall off, the paint didn’t flake to dust, the hinges didn’t even squeak.
“Neither happy or sad,” said one final time and slid into the driver’s seat. Nothing. He reached out to touch the steering wheel. Nothing. He grinned and bounced in the seat a little. Nothing, still nothing.
He felt a little runnel of fear in his chest when he realized his parents were watching him. His mother was holding on to his father and they were both smiling.
“Momma!’ he shouted, jumping out of the car. “It didn’t break, I didn’t break it.” He took off running toward her. Every step the boy took shattered the concrete under his feet.
“No!’ his father screamed.
“Momma!” he shouted again, the pure joy of a child that had pleased a parent.
The boy that broke everything ran straight into her open arms.
That can’t be a real Subaru commercial. The boy doesn’t have 2 moms.
Worse yet – both his parents are white. I’m surprised the Ad Council allowed it to go on the air.
They’re gingers. That doesn’t count as white. Doesn’t really count as human.
*narrows gaze*
Humans have souls, and everybody knows gingers don’t have souls.
Just sayin’…
Ahem, it’s Gingx
You owe me a coke.
Gingers are whiter than white! I can get a sunburn under the covers in a darkened room at night!
I used to tell pale, freckled, ex-Mrs Tres Cool that she could get sunburned from a fireworks display.
You can’t trick me, this is one of the rough drafts of Frozen!
Huh. That one kinda got under my skin. I too shy away from strong emotions when possible. Nothing good ever seems to come of it.
that was horrible and great at the same time.
I found it rather tame for SF. He didn’t go with the little boy discovering the joy (and despair) of masturbation.
I thought it was tame UNTIL THE END.
I should have saw it coming, but didnt.
I had the same thought.
Very Twilight Zonesque.
I liked it.
*wishes Scruffy into a cornfield*
But I only had good thoughts, happy thoughts!
Agreed. Having read SF’s work before, I watched the commercial with growing dread, knowing just what sort of horror theater would be coming. And they delivered.
Next episode what happens when ServPro loses a hazmat bag from the cleanup?
Saw your post in the last thread. I hope you are getting something from Goggins’ book.
These stories make the subscription fee more that worth it.
I always read the story first, then watch the commercial. Works real well every time.
Me too!
I concur with this method. honestly I’ve even forgone the commercial entirely sometimes, still great writing.
Best money I spent!
“Momma!” he shouted again, the pure joy of a child that had pleased a parent.
The boy that broke everything ran straight into her open arms.”
This is not the ending I expected, although I hasten to point out that I was pleasantly surprised, having read portions of Sugarfree’s work many years ago (and am glad to also point out that I have fully recovered).
… Or have I?
This approximates the ending that I expected: “Momma!” he shouted again, the pure joy of a child that had pleased a parent.
The boy that broke everything ran straight into her open arms.”
His father’s eardrums were ruptured by the happy shout that the boy that broke everything emitted, and the new car’s windows shattered into thousands of glittering fragments to cascade earthward.
His impact upon leaping into his mother’s outstretched arms broke her ulnae, radii, elbows, and humeri, leaving her arms to flop uselessly at her sides briefly before she collapsed to the manicured lawn in shock.
The boy who broke everything cried and cried and cried, his heavy tears staining his shoes and blighting the grass at his feet.
The end.
But then that lad grew up to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTbykcjkHsY
I do not remember hearing that song, Fourscore. Of the later songs by Cash he impressed me with this cover (generally I dislike covers).
After hearing it I watched the official video.
What are your own thoughts?
LOL huzzah
This is profoundly sad.
Exactly my take.
Referring to him as “the boy that” rather e boy who” was subtle but had an effect of its own.
Bravo, sir.
OT: Second rally to reopen NH will be at noon on May 2nd. Glibs meet-up? I plan to go.
When is NH scheduled to open? We get partial parole Monday.
Currently May 4th but Sununu has made noise about possibly extended the order or possibly “allowing some regions” to partially open.
He hasn’t received his marching orders from Charlie Baker in Massachusetts.
Oh boy. Nothing good can come of those compacts.
They’re also flat out unconstitutional.
“No State shall, without the Consent of Congress,… enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power,…”
You forgot the, “In these trying times” clause.
We should make them real trying times and put these fuckers on trial for their crimes
What law applies, criminally? “Violation of civil rights under color of authority”?
I saw the posts about your job situation. It’s good that you’re going back to work on the 1st.
Thanks. Although, with the feds pitching in an extra $600 every week, it’s actually going to be a pay cut, lol.
But I’m glad. The building needs me. By which I mean I need something to fix. I’ve been doing some side work, but most of my long time customers are high risk, and I don’t wanna give em the Wuflu, and they don’t want it, so the gigs have been sparce.
And, I was/am working for a school, so I only get paid once a month. So I haven’t even missed a single paycheck yet. And I’ll get paid enough extra to cover the first week that CO unemployment doesn’t pay for, so it’s actually not materially any different than any other month… just the stress. But, I’m better off than many, and we need to get as many people back to work as possible, as soon as we can. Safely, of course.
Well, I uninstalled Greasemonkey and whatever scripts Trashy had been working on. Turns out they were causing my Facebook feed to go into infinite recursion, never actually loading anything, and never actually stopping.
Weird, and now I don’t have any of the functionality I’ve been counting on for so long, but I guess it just means I’ll have to scan through the comments for blue highlighted “new” ones.
C’est la vie. What else have I got to do with my time, now that our world governments have decided we’re on Eternal Lockdown?
Watch videos?
https://youtu.be/LQiOA7euaYA
Kill.
Me.
Now.
That is an excellent song by an excellent band. I guess there’s no pleasing some people.
Succinct summation of our current situation
Turns out they were causing my Facebook feed to go into infinite recursion, never actually loading anything, and never actually stopping.
You’re welcome!
Actually, I have no clue why that would happen. Greasemonkey has been in decline for a while, so maybe they’re not respecting the URL filters in Monocle anymore?
I would have uninstalled FB. Actually I did.
The destruction of all icons continues.
A new “Star Wars” series is in the works at Disney Plus, Variety has learned from sources. The series hails from Leslye Headland, the co-creator, showrunner, and executive producer of the critically-acclaimed Netflix series “Russian Doll.”
Details of the exact plot of the series are being kept under wraps, but sources say it will be a female-centric series that takes place in a different part of the “Star Wars” timeline than other projects. Headland is said to be attached to write and serve as showrunner on the series, with the show currently staffing.
Disney has really committed to wokifying the Star Wars properties, even if it ruins its value.
It’s really an interesting case study.
With the series on life support…here comes the crew with the morphine overdose and the smothering pillow.
Pillow Smotherers need jobs too.
“Are you ready to do me a service?”
“I want you to use all of your skill, and all of your love. I don’t want his mother to see him like this.”
“Look how they massacred my son.”
The Mandalorian was just delightful.
If they really think they have a quality product with this new series, they should detach it from Star Wars and debut it on its own in a new “universe.”
My guess is they know they need to slap the Star Wars label on it to get clicks.
While I personally am not bothered by the re-imagining of fictional characters I can at least see how some people may not like it when their heroes are drastically changed, but to be upset that they make spin-offs and expand the universe? that I don’t get at all.
I assume it’s because it takes the creative effort and resources away from making decent stories in that universe. It also has a tendency to fuck up Canon when they get around to making decent stuff again.
IOW, you can never retcon Jar Jar Binks, and Star Wars has never been the same since.
That said, I thought I’d hate the mandalorian for the same reason, but I didn’t. (I’m also not a huge star wars fan)
They used some very tried and true plots for Mandalorian. Not a problem, nothing new under the sun and all. But stripped of the science fiction trappings, most of them could have been Rawhide or Gunsmoke episodes.
Yep, thats why I liked it. The pacing is much slower than most modern shows, which I love. It’s not DragonBallZ, where people just scream at one another for an entire episode and the plot doesn’t advance, but the pacing is slow enough to savor the growing tension.
Considering Lucas modeled both Boba Fett and Cad Bane after Lee Van Cleef, that makes perfect sense.
Creativity is a zero sum game?
It’s a matter of limited creative talent with finite time and energy.
Plus, they haven’t exactly been hiring the most creative folks.
Creativity, no. Film budget? Yes.
I think it’s more the idea that, 99 times out of 100, when the explicitly focus on the “woke factor”, the quality of the product is garbage.
In terms of expanding the franchise, I actually really enjoyed Rogue One; probably more than any Star Wars movie since the original originals.
It was an adult movie, that is why. No muppets, no video game set ups. Just a bleak, but ultimately heroic story – with everyone dead. Adult seriousness.
Yeah it was a war movie, and it was like those awesome “secret mission” WWII movies like Guns of Navarone.
I really liked that the assault troops in Rogue One looked like they were outfitted largely with kit made of Vietnam-era Army surplus. Just like you’d get if you were making the movie in the mid-’70s with Star Wars.
Looked quite disturbingly like British kit from 2008… that, and the actors accents. Took me a little while to shake it off and actually get out of the seat in the theater and leave.
Exactly. When I was a kid, I loved the Young Jedi Knights YA novels. They had Jacen and Jaina Solo and their friends at the Jedi Academy as the main characters. There was Tenel Ka, a warrior princess. Lowbacca was Chewies nephew.
Jaina and Tenel Ka were the classic 1990s genre fiction girl archetypes. They were tougher and smarter than the boys. Captain Planet did this, the Johnny Quest reboot did this. It was a big time thing in 90s media. The girl would be the tough one, or the smart one, or the leader in a very unsubtle fashion. But back then, they still managed to write it in balance, for the most part. There was definitely an angle, it was absolutely being pushed but it wasn’t overwhelming and it didn’t detract from the story.
Powerpuff Girls!
Curses, foiled again?
Well I don’t really see them as an example of the trope. To me, the trope has to be the mixed gender team, and you have to have the girl (and usually there’s just one girl) be smarter and tougher and have better superpowers or skills than the guys. Like in Young Jedi Knights Jacen was the goofy dude who got kidnapped or knocked out, and Jaina and Tenel Ka were always bailing him out of shit. Like at some point Tenel Ka got her arm cut off and yet she could still beat up Jacen.
Well, I WAS going to say Kim Possible, but hey, look at my avi.
I’m hoping for a Visas Mar origin series where we find out the Real reason she’s blind.
TBH I’ve enjoyed the various TV series (Mandalorian, Clone Wars, Rebels, even Lego Freemaker Adventures), it’s the movies that have mostly sucked.
Excellent story SF.
So many are saying it was sad but I thought it was hilarious. The myriad ways in which things kept breaking was pure genius.
I was laughing out loud very hard by the middle.
A SugarFree twist on a classic SciFi trope of the family afraid of the boy with powers. Five stars!
It can be both.
☝️The Greeks called it “tragedy”. Or maybe I’m wrong about that, but the finger is pretty cool, right?
“The boy who breaks everything.”
*gives XY TD the side-eye*
Yeah, I teared up a little.
Being spineless and having gave up on any pretense of a diet I perhaps made the best meat sauce for a lasagna yet. It has ground beef (cooked over charcoal on the Weber), Italian sausage (cooked on same Weber), pulled pork (Smoked a few days ago and has much red pepper vinegar sauce), and pepperoni. The shop smells wonderful with lasagna in the oven.
Skip the pasta, and I’d be all over that meat sauce.
It’s a package deal.
At that point,it’s not a deal. ?
How are you with those zucchini noodles? I tried them once in some alfredo, and……meh
I have a spiral slicer and love to make zucchini and yellow squash noodles.
Sliced zucchini is pretty meh. It’s no substitute for lasagna noodles.
Spiralize them and mix it up like casserole rather than stack it. Much better.
^ this
Zucchini noodles are ok and easy to make with a spiralizer. They need to be cooked and served with a hearty meat sauce. I’ll also just shred a zucchini and simmer in a sauce with meatballs – and add a super hot pepper. Serve with good cheese on top. Yum.
Spaghetti squash goes better with cheesy or other non meat sauces, but the extra prep they require means I don’t mess with them as often.
#lazycook
Actually, with all that meat and few carbs it should be great for you to lose weight.
Take that Sean! The Doc has spoken. And it wasn’t a bad joke.
You could try a can of lasagna noodles. Now only 50% sadness by volume.
Why would they do that to hearts of palm? You can make some good stuff with those.
Winner
Again: this is my favorite feature on the site.
The kid has talent.
SugarFree is a treasure, and we are incredibly luck to have him throw these pearls to us.
Swine
Ass Wednesday bringing you beautiful booties and radiant rears.
http://archive.li/JYCz4
#12. Yes.
#14 too.
That is a very bad flooring install in #11’s house.
Lol. A man after my own heart. Big ass butt, and Western is noticing the unlevel joints in the floor.
my favorite feature on this site. … good things come inn threes 9, 12, 15.
While interest in the practice is booming — the r/tulpas Reddit page and Tulpa.info site boast more than 40,000 members combined — those within the community tell me that the exact number of tulpamancers worldwide is difficult to determine; estimates range from 1,000 to 10,000 folks actively practicing tulpamancy.
According to David-Néel, the ability to materialize sentient and almost-autonomous beings needn’t belong only to the mystically exalted. Rather, it “depends on the strength of the concentration and the quality of the mind itself.”
Some tulpae are better than others.
Jamie Black-Lewis felt like she won the lottery after getting two forgivable loans through the Paycheck Protection Program. She got a forgivable loan. Her employees hate her for it.
The anger came from employees who’d determined they’d make more money by collecting unemployment benefits than with their normal paychecks.
Yeah my wife went back to working retail, and they’re finding it really really hard to compete with the unemployment checks.
What fucking disaster this is.
So going as planned?
Almost as if it’s designed to force an increase in the minimum wage.
Or keep unemployment high?
https://imgur.com/a/8Un8qXw
Insanity. At least she knows who to fire in a couple of months.
Lol. Anybody who read my posts in the last thread know that I am taking a pay cut going back to work. My GF was pissed because she, in her head, had already spent the extra money, but I’m very happy. A 50yr old man should not be breaking out in zits from stress.
People should be happy to have a job, and not be a bunch of greedy moochers.
Sorry to hear about your troubles/stress and hoping all the best for you.
Thanks. I love Heinlein, btw.
UGH… I’ve got the stress hives. I hate my job, but I am so bloody grateful to be working.
That’s why they call it work, instead of happy-fun-time 😉
Pleased to hear that there are other people who think actually working for the money they get is more important than how much money they could get. Stay free, man!
Viva la Revolution!
https://spectator.us/forget-china-mad-lululemon-art-director/
The last funny company makes….yoga pants?
This is vastly superior.
“A movement that transcends origins. Creatively inspired by the rich roots of the East. We are the Eastern People Cultural Collective.”
I admit that I reread that more than thrice, HM.
I’ve stopped really paying attention to the news recently. In case you haven’t been able to stop caring about the news I have written up the template which all good-thinking news outlets have been given so you no longer have to bother clicking on any of it – it’s all here in this list –
THE NEWS FOR THE MONTH OF APRIL/MAY
A – COVID-19! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
B – Since WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
1) I’m gonna be king/queen of my state – here are my rules
2) We’re going to pretend to fix it with a bunch of money that never existed – don’t you like us yet?
a) We’ve already screwed the economy so who cares anyway
3) Stop worrying about that silly job you never really liked anyway
4) There still are imaginary people in other imaginary countries and they’re ALL GONNA DIE too!
5) Some white supremacist Nazis want to kill granny but this isn’t you, right?
6) Some people are pretending they didn’t die but it really, really sucked anyway
C – Don’t be silly, of course COVID-19 was caused by:
1) ORANGEMANBAD
2) climate crisis
3) anything but the Chinese
D – Some guy named Joe Biden is still alive
1) Get used to him, he’s going to be your next president
2) He never sexually assaulted the woman anyway
3) And even if he did here’s why it doesn’t matter
E – Nothing else is happening anywhere
The problem I am having is that I have already said everything even in the neighborhood of interesting I have to say about Covid at least 9001 times and there is nothing else to talk about. No sports, no events, no news except Covid, no nothing. I really do not want to keep ranting at everyone about Great Depressions, Constitutional violations and mortality rates. It is boring and depressing.
How about this weather, huh? You read any good books lately? I’m thinking of expanding my garden this year, going to try cabbage.
tru dat
Everything quickly reduces to “we’re fucked” anymore.
It’s taken the starch out of my Glibness as well: I probably only look at the site 50 times a day any more.
What you’ve said here is what I am trying to show above – The Derptoid Media is only focusing on the news template I have outlined here.
See, just like I said, everything that I say or write is just a rehash. 🙂
Jesus Christ.
You are an amazing talent.
I think I still may hate you. Pretty sure this one is gonna give me nightmares, too,
So…kudos?
I actually eat your nightmares.
They don’t spike your blood sugar too much?
Tundra doesn’t have sweet dreams.
I’m on Easy Street, Rhy!
I ❤️ you so much sometimes.
Sweet. Low carb, anyway!
*SF clubs Tundra with a bowling pin*
Yeah, that.
*stares at melatonin bottle*
I like the Glenmorangie brand of melatonin. Talisker also makes a good melatonin.
Not to sound too dramatic, but I found the story bleak and heart-wrenching. It gave me that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
But, I was able to clearly see everything in my mind, and I didn’t watch the commercial first. I always appreciate writers that are able to paint such a clear picture with words. Nicely done.
Do you have kids?
Nope. Not yet anyway.
The character I felt the most was actually the boy, not the mom.
Yeah, that’s exactly it.
I always feel for the kid.
Well done.
Mojeaux,
Carryover from last thread.
Ref: left handed throttles on motorcycles.
I have 50+ years of motorcycle experience. Bought my first bike at 12 (a Harley, natch). My buddy also has 50+ years of biking including buying Triumphs and BSAs during the period. In our 100+ years of motorcycle experience we have never encountered a LH throttle.
Except that we are wrong.
Google search shows that LH throttles were common before the 1960s or so. One example has the police version of the Harley with a LH throttle so that he can shoot with his right hand.
I’ve driven a Brit bike with the shift/brake reversed and it was confusing as hell. Can’t imagine the throttle/clutch reversed.
I can only report what I experienced.
LOL This is like the time I informed a bunch of car nut law students that I learned “stick” on a Beetle without a clutch. I got ripped up one side and down the other until one of the guys calmly said, “She’s right. In 1972-1973, VW made an experimental automatic clutch. It wasn’t popular.” Thank heavens for car nut law students with a penchant for obscure manufacturing details!
How do you find all the oddities?
Don’t know. The VW was one of my dad’s junker buys (we went through so many) and the solenoids were an issue. It didn’t have heat and was cold as a witch’s tit in the winter.
Anyway, there was a Triumph motorcycle dealership by where I grew up and I went there, said, “That’s a cool-looking thing. May I?”
“Everything’s switched.”
“I drove stick in England.”
“Good luck.”
Well, I needed it. Didn’t crash, didn’t kill anybody, managed to get around a few blocks and get the hang of it.
Never wanted to do it again.
Didn’t have heat because it had an air-cooled engine. No hot coolant to divert to heater core.
My second Beetle had heat. Drive you right out of the car, too.
Electric heater
Was it a ’76?
Good question. I don’t remember. ’78 or something sorta comes to mind but only sorta.
The Japanese drive on the left-hand (correct) side of the road, same as the Brits. Why weren’t their shift levers/brakes the same as Brit bikes instead of US bikes?
All of it was completely reversed. Throttle, brakes, shift.
Steering too? Are you sure you weren’t sitting on the bike backwards?
What’s normally on the left was on the right and what’s normally on the right was on the left. The forks were where they were supposed to be.
fork was*
😀
I’m just teasing.
brit bicycles have the brake levers on the wrong side too.
Lift = rear
right = front.
Grabbing the rear break by mistake no problem. Grab the front hard when you wanted the rear big problem.
When I drove my first right drive car I though it was the coolest thing ever.
Motorsicles are different, though.
Huh. Just looked out a window and the pizzeria across the street is open – wide open door and people walking in.
Should I snitch?
Do you want stitches?
*ponders*
No.
Snitches get free pizzas.
…
Kinda, yeah.
Chicks dig scars.
I have so many scars (physical and mental).
I have never had any female admire them.
I don’t think chicks dig scars.
It’s all about the context:
* scars you got being a badass are adored
* scars you got being a dipshit . . . well . . . . just don’t point those out
No, you lie. EVERY scar is from doing something badass.
Look, girls like a good story. Even if it’s bullshit, make sure it’s entertaining. If she knows it’s bullshit, make it wild. If you got the scar from being a dumbass, make the story the dumbest-assest thing ever and make her laugh.
The stories and the laughter make the scars hawt.
I am watching the Sopranos so for some reason I think snitching is a bad plan.
Get a slice and tell them good job.
I already ate 🙁
Put it in the fridge for breakfast.
If you don’t snitch, someone else probably will shortly. So stock up.
Maybe they’re picking up?
By us, the bodegas and pizzerias are about the only places open.
Yeah, bodegas are “essential” – they’ve always been open. Pizzerias are definitely verboten.
One of the internal tensions of my job…. The most interesting inventions are the ones that take the most amount of time to draft as a patent. I’ve spent hours reading about the math behind the current invention, most of which won’t end up in the patent. However, it’s really cool, and it’s necessary to understand to translate the research paper into patentese.
If drafting patents weren’t an afterthought in my job, I’d really enjoy drafting this one. As it is, I’m up against a handful of deadlined, and I don’t want to short change the inventors with a shitty document given how cool their invention is.
Coincidentally, I’m writing up a provisional myself, taking food from the mouths of your children.
Cool! Not my kid(s), I haven’t taken a chemistry class since high school. I don’t know my -anes from my -enes.
We don’t really do provisionals these days, unless somebody’s presenting at a conference tomorrow and didn’t tell us. They’re useful in some circumstances, especially when there’s ongoing development, but we usually get little neat packages of inventions in the tech side. I can spit out a non-provisional in 2 or 3 days if necessary, so no need for us to do provisionals.
#me too
Mine has been taking years to get through. Trying to teach myself how to use an on-line CAD system has been a huge stumbling block for me. I’m half tempted to just fabricate a model first and sketch it up manually. The written part, I dunno, I need to list up a number of possible applications outside the specific one that spurred the idea from me.
Good draftsmen are worth their weight in gold. I don’t use them often because I specialize in software, but for a few hundred bucks, they turn a shitty back of the napkin sketch into a legit patent drawing.
That said, I know photoshop (okay, GIMP because I’m cheap) well enough to do decent mechanical drawings. It’ll take me two days, and they still won’t look as good as the draftsmen, but not bad. For my software patents, I do it all up in Visio. Shit program, but it’s what I have.
Working at an engineering firm, where the owner’s did all the books, I used to joke “an engineer think’s he’s an accountant. But would you hire an accountant to build a bridge?”
Business is too important to be left to business majors
I learned to draft I high school and then did more of that in undergrad (BSME). I also spent 7 years as a design engineer working in CADAM and CATIA. But before I started using either program I was given a couple weeks of instruction on the system. I find trying to use a new CAD system on my own from a handful of YouTube videos just isn’t enough help.
I took a drafting class in CATIA before transferring out of the aero program. Very powerful tool.
Good point. It’s a pizza place so it might be a mafia sit down.
That’s racist, yo.
Compalla’s Pizzaria in Mayfield, Cleveland…./touches nose
“Elegante Pizzeria” – it checks.
It’s amazing to me that Disney managed to not fuck up Marvel given how poorly they’ve managed Star Wars. I can guess which is the fluke.
a very good, but Formulaic band,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X_2IdybTV0&list=RDjLJtO_iRbA8&index=16
hello?I can’t post at all…..
I see a post.
I don’t know what you’re referring to.
Well, it’s part of a fence, you see. One end is sunk about a foot into the ground. It holds up rails.
So, I post. Then it just sits there so I hit “post comment” again and it take me to a page saying “looks like you already said that” so I hit the back button and then refresh, and viola.
It’s been like that for days. Tonight I was gonna mention it because TPTB usually fix stuff fast and I thought maybe they didn’t know.
I was doing that for a while. Then I learned to click “REPLY”, wait about 5 seconds, then f5. Wait a little more, then refresh again.
SP’s aware of it but has been working on a project with a deadline, IIRC what she said earlier. She said she’d be in touch with WordPress support.
My method (when working on my laptop using Firefox): Hit “Post Comment,” watch for comment to appear while the “Reload” icon is still spinning. When I see my comment, I click on the “Reload” icon to stop the page from reloading. At that point, the comment has posted BUT I also still see it in the draft box, so I hit “Cancel Reply.”
Isn’t it amazing what we’ll go through to post comments here?
I just wait until it shows up on the dashboard then close the tab where I posted the comment.
By the way, I may also add more dialog with the Arch-lawspeaker to the scene I sent you.
During a lull at work today, I went back to the beginning of that chapter in the EPUB you sent me, then read on my phone the new part you’d e-mailed. Very exciting! Intrigue abounds! I’m planning to reread it – maybe in the morning? – before sending more detailed feedback. Did you want to send the additional dialogue before I do, or would you like my reaction to what you’ve already sent?
I haven’t yet figured out how I’m going to change it beyond the one note I already sent, so I’d like your reaction to what’s there.
OK, will do.
Thanks for the inside info. I know everybody is busy.
Cultures have always been in contact with each other with mutual influence.
You know those heathen in the UK call a gyro a ‘kebab’, right?
I was all in with Mayor Goodman of Las Vegas until her CNN meltdown. But I understand her stress. She has a city bursting at the seems that needs to reopen or die.
On the whole Nevada front the Guv is stsying mute about May 1 being our resurrection day…so businesses are advertising their opening. I feel a lot of them are going to get a swift kick in the balls in the next couple of days.
But who cares…they have succeeded on making staying home on the government tit fashionable and no business can even compete with it.
It wasn’t a good idea to set-up so many interviews in a single day, particularly given the media opposition. But agreed, I completely understand her stress and need to push.
She became the perfect poster child for why the lockdowns are about lives and we just are greedy…
“She has a city bursting at the seems that needs to reopen or die.”
And you don’t suppose this may have been by design ?
/orders more Reynold’s wrap from Kroger
I believe first 30 days was sincerely about health…after that it becomes questionable.
With pro sports Vegas was branching out and diversifying but we are down to hospitals, food, hardware, and pot.
Even if it reopens, it’s not going to return to “normal” for a while, unfortunately.
Every one knows that and I think she knows that too. But your city was ravaged in 08 and it was booming with sports teams dyinng to tap the market, conventions, pot, a slightly better image and that is all gone.
Yeah, I’m on side Reopen, but even I think concerts, sports stadiums, etc., should stay closed. And Vegas? How did that not become an epicenter? BTW, I have tickets for July 2 for Santana with Earth Wind and Fire opening. I guess I can use the money back, but damn, I haven’t been to a concert in ages, and was really looking forward to it. And there’s an economics lesson on opportunity costs: even though that money would be better spent on paying down down debt or making an investment, it was worth it to me to buy tickets because I wanted to see the show.
Well if you hadn’t booked a room you are in for some real deals.
It’s local. I have a few rooms I’m already paying for. One of the advantages of living in a biggish city like Denver.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/health-news/texas-woman-dies-of-coronavirus-102-years-after-her-sister-died-of-the-spanish-flu/ar-BB1301x8
While Ryan wasn’t tested for coronavirus while she was alive, the Travis County Medical Examiner’s Office reportedly confirmed she had contracted the disease after her death.
How an elephant got in my pajamas, I’ll never know.
That’s kind of a cool story. And 96 years is a good run.
Another life tragically cut short. Maybe if we’d destroyed the economy a month earlier she could have made it to 103. DAMN YOU DRUMPFHITLER!
it’s truly a shame
* daps at tear *
It’s not even that! She was going to die this year, of something.
Come on, my blessed wife did home health care for terminal patients, then became one herself. When the body reaches point X, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what disease hits it first, death is the outcome. The common cold will kill someone in that condition, slipping on the ice will kill someone in that condition. Hell, a loud noise can kill someone in some versions of that condition.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/health-news/texas-woman-dies-of-coronavirus-102-years-after-her-sister-died-of-the-spanish-flu/ar-BB1301x8
While Ryan wasn’t tested for coronavirus while she was alive, the Travis County Medical Examiner’s Office reportedly confirmed she had contracted the disease after her death.
How an elephant got in my pajamas, I’ll never know.
Squirrels put it there, dude.
She’s gonna vote (d) in November too. Just like her sister has done for the past century.
Worth the trouble of posting to give a upvote
And I thought I was bad at self editing.
Bella loves SRV, she just melts in my arms,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj_NUS9hwxA&list=RDjLJtO_iRbA8&index=35
So my plan is a new pc build if I get Trump Bux (TM). Went through newegg tonight picking out parts. $1300. So I’d only have to spend $100 of my real money and be set for another 8yrs or so.
Wendy died, but I get her Trump bucks, 2400, FTW win! She would dig it…
Doesn’t matter if they’re Trump Bucks, she’s still going to vote for Biden.
And my post got eaten, some thing about Bella liking SRV
Read the story without watching the commercial. SF, you don’t need it. The story stands alone wonderfully.
Meh. If you read the story first, then watch the commercial, it adds a small amount of… something.
If SF was a hackey writer like me, the novelty would add something. He’ll probably hate hearing this, but he has a sensitivity to his writing that plays perfectly with his dark humor. It’s laudable that he gives us the visual aid to amplify the joke, but for me at least, it’s unnecessary.
I’m sitting in the shit hole coffee shop that refuses to close. Dregs of society (myself included) sipping Java and ignoring the warnings. Story of my life.
Japanese don’t drink covfefe, they drink tea, so False News.
Also, the use of “covfefe” proves that covid-19 was already on Trump’s mind and he knew about before hand. He should be impeached using Freudian Slip as the evidence.
Wheat tea, green tea etc. is what we (and yes, I’ve gone native on this) is what we drink instead of soft drinks. Sipping time is overwhelmingly coffee. Have you tried traditional green tea like they serve at tea ceremonies? Well, let’s just say it’s not my cup of …
I like iced tea. I used to be a huge covfefe lover, and still am, but you can’t slam a hot drink. I’ve switched to diet soda for my caffeine fix. It’s not as good as a well brewed coffee- not even close. But it’s fast and easy and I can guzzle 18oz in a few seconds.
Sigh. I really should buy a covfefe maker that I can program the night before.
coffee?
Please, and I’ll see a menu also.
That was great!
That would have been perfectly at home in Omni magazine.
Remember when we had short-form science-fiction?
I suppose we still do. It has moved to Dust on YouTube.