Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Apr 30, 2020 | Daily Links | 311 comments

Howdy, y’all. Today has been much better than yesterday. Although it still feels like 2nd Friday. Tomorrow, my brain and the calendar will line up. And also, April is just… about.. over. This has been longer than a month of Sundays.

The city that never sleeps is at least going to shut down transit for disinfecting.

DeBlasio blames Joooossss for bodies in UHaul trailer outside of funeral home. Kidding. He did not assume the religion of the owners. But damn, even exsanguinated and preserved, that seems a little casual.

Imagine my surprise that a state that runs on tourism has nation leading unemployment claims.

“I am not f*cking losing to Joe Biden!” Trump goes off on campaign staff. I would be saying the same thing.

 

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

311 Comments

  1. Bill Door

    My crazy conspiracy theory: OrangeManBad is only now against ending the draconian policies as a method of 5D checkmating the MSM/DNC into being for reopening, since, as has been pointed out here a lot, they always go against what he says.

    In different times, I would call myself crazy for even proposing such a thing, but this ain’t different times.

    • Tonio

      That’s crazy enough to be true!

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    I hate humidity, 20% is gross,
    Howdy!

    • Bill Door

      Ahoy-hoy. We’re at 46%, but at 67F it’s a little cooler here than in AZ.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We’re only 99 degrees, but no wind yet, so you just melt and soak your clothes in sweat,

      • Bill Door

        That’s the type of weather I’d like. We nearly hit 80 yesterday and it was glorious. I’m ready for hotter weather.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That’s exactly how I say it…….
        how’d you guess?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      20%???

      That’s “your eyes spontaneously combust” level of humidity/

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        no, that’s less than 10%,you can feel the moisture being sucked from your Eyeballs,

    • Suthenboy

      *Laughs*

      • RBS

        ^this.

  3. Q Continuum

    “I am not f*cking losing to Joe Biden!”

    Tara Reade said the same thing minus one word.

    • Mad Scientist

      Two words….unless you meant “not.”

  4. leon

    “I am not f*cking losing to Joe Biden!” Trump goes off on campaign staff. I would be saying the same thing.

    we shall see.

    • Raven Nation

      As some here have said, Trump didn’t so much win last time as Hilary lost. Can he catch lightning in a bottle again with narrow wins in 6 or 7 swing states? I think it will be tough. In 2016, his rhetorical schtick was new, etc. whereas I think it’s worn thin on a lot of people this time. And the biggest thing he had going for him was the economy (perceived or real) and that’s likely not going to help him this time.

      Can Biden remain vertical and semi-coherent for 7 months? If so, that might be enough.

      • leon

        Yup. And the election is 7 months away. A lot can happen. But 20% unemployment is going to put a big ol duece on the “Re-elect Trump” Parade.

      • Tonio

        ^This, which is why Dem governors and mayors so desperate to extend shutdown as long as possible.

      • R C Dean

        Can Biden remain vertical and semi-coherent for 7 months?

        Doesn’t matter. He’s not going to be the nominee.

      • leon

        Baring his death, Biden will be on the ticket come Nov 3. I’d put some satoshis on that.

      • Ozymandias

        My “landslide” prediction for Trump went out the window with the Covid. He was riding historically low black unemployment, historically low everyone unemployment – as an incumbent – against a field of complete fucking Prog morons, but give it to Team Blue, they found a way to crush the economy. And on top of it, they gave Trump the chance to make an idiot of himself. Having Gropey Joe locked away has been absolutely perfect and it may just work for them. Of course, as others note, we’re still 6 months out and a LOT can happen, but the calculus has completely changed.

      • Don Escaped Sarcasm

        semi-coherent

        Trump is a circus and self-destructing; Biden shouldn’t say a word, should not campaign outside the friend zone or outside of purple states; Biden should decline to debate, and the VP should be Ma Klob (klose enuff to Kenosha).

        The virus and jobs don’t matter much: this is just a matter of getting 70k in the right places to come home after the Hillary diaspora. Trump is to be congratulated banking the eight-ball into a side pocket after a four-cushion approach in 2016: he had a 25% of chance of pulling it off, and he did it.

        This stuff about Trump not being the candidate? No one’s changing horses when the numbers look good. I await the odds proffered by those who know better.

    • Tonio

      If he gets to replace Ginsburg I’d say his chances of re-election go down. If she’s still hanging on on election day he gets a bump.

  5. Drake

    If Trump wants to win, he’s going to have to fire that idiot medical bureaucrat Fauci soon.

    • DEG

      Yes

    • robc

      Hire Ionnid…whatever and then listen to him.

    • zwak

      Not fire him, but move him to something… else. Firing him gives the media ammo, but moving him to a higher possition (in title) clears the ground better.

  6. WTF

    “People with knowledge of the conversations.”
    So, they made it up.

    • egould310

      Zackly.

    • OBE #Learn2Essential

      And all but dismissed the two actually quoted and named persons in the article: Trump and his campaign manger.

      God I love CNN

  7. Aloysious

    Jenneke. Petty dancing wimminz. I am now completely distracted.

    Yes, I have a short attention span. Pork schnitzels sure would be nice.

    • egould310

      Pork schnitzel, warm potato salad, sauerkraut.

      • Agent Cooper

        Cabbage rolls and coffee! Mmm Mmm Good!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Donkeys in the round,
      Yellow flowers through the window,
      I like Cake,
      Tulpa

      • pistoffnick

        She’ll be coming up the mountain when she comes
        She’ll be driving a tiny Kia when she comes (Hee Haw)
        Oh, we’ll all go out to meet her when she comes (Hi, Babe)
        She’ll be wearing red lingerie when she comes (*wolf whistle*)
        She will have to sleep with Yusef when she comes (Diggity)
        Yusef will be singing Hallelujah when he comes (Boom-chicka-wow-wow).

      • JD is Unemployed

        Good stuff

    • DEG

      Jenneke. Petty dancing wimminz. I am now completely distracted.

      Yes. Her subreddit.

      • Gdragon

        I always thought she was meant to make her acting debut as Cheetara in my Thundercats film

      • DEG

        At the risk of sounding like a weirdo, I always thought Cheetara was hot.

      • Count Potato

        If you want to sound like a weirdo here, you would have to clear hurdles like she did.

      • Aloysious

        There is a vid in there with some really good ideas for home workout.

        https://gfycat.com/dentalclearkakarikis

        If I remember, I’ll mention it in Glib Fit comments. Might help someone besides me.

        UCS, don’t look. She’s not wearing workout gloves.

  8. Drake

    New York City ends 24-hour subway service to disinfect trains and buses overnight

    That sounds like a timely move, if it was January 30th.

    • Mad Scientist

      It also sounds like a complete waste of time, unless they plan on disinfecting every train and bus every time someone gets on it.

      • invisible finger

        Disinfecting is a code word for “kicking the homeless out”.

      • Spudalicious

        I think they’re just trying to hose out the piss, shit and puke.

  9. Suthenboy

    If they shut the subways down where are the homeless going to sleep?

    They are dead bodies. Lumps of dead meat. I told Mrs. Suthenboy when I die to toss me out on a particular piece of timberland that I love. Bugs and crows have to eat too.

    Florida? What about Nevada? Those poor bastards are screwed.

    “…according to five people with knowledge of the conversations. They spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly about private discussions.”
    In other words they just made this shit up.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Or Hawaii. Excuse me. Ha’wa’i’i’. Delete the unneeded apostrophes, which ever those are.

      • Animal

        Just call them the Sandwich Islands.

      • dbleagle

        Our governor’s stupidity has pushed unemployment near 40% percent (over 250K) and he keeps doubling down. These islands should be renamed the Derp Islands.

      • grrizzly

        What would you expect from the people whose ancestors ate James Cook?

      • Count Potato

        Well, it says “cook” right in the name.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Named so for the beautiful women?

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Aides have grown particularly worried about Michigan — which some advisers have all but written off — as well as Florida, Wisconsin and Arizona.

    Really? It sounds like they’re about ready to lynch that dumb bitch governor. That should indicate a preference.

    • R C Dean

      The only reason to be worried about AZ is because the Dems have a capable ballot harvesting operation in Phoenix. Shut that shit down and I don’t think he has much to worry about.

      Bonus: it will keep one of AZ’s Senate seats out of the hands of the Dems.

    • Count Potato

      LOL

  11. commodious spittoon

    This is really dumb, but I have no clue how to pick a primary care provider. I have a network list from my insurer. Am I supposed to cold-call clinics? A lot of them are listed as family doctors, or internal medicine, or orthopaedic… one number that’s listed several times rings through to an anesthesiology clinic. I just need a doctor’s office.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good luck, I currently have a nurse practitioner as my PCP because I couldn’t get a *(&#^$*&(% doctor who was taking new patients.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Lucky devil. The practice I went to that was NP/PA staffed sold out to a doc in a box chain and left network.

    • kinnath

      Look at the professional photos. Imagine that person sticking a finger in your rectum to check your prostate. Decide accordingly.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder
      • Count Potato

        Yikes!

      • Raven Nation

        As someone once told me, the older you get, you’re less concerned about qualifications and more concerned about finger diameter.

      • Raven Nation

        The more you know…

    • R C Dean

      Primary care will be listed as either family or internal medicine. Frankly, unless you are plugged in to a health system, its a complete crap shoot trying to pick a doc within a specialty. I wouldn’t get too hung on getting a doc instead of an NP – in primary care, there’s really not that much difference. Anything complicated shows up, they will both send you to a specialist.

      Unless you have a chronic condition that needs management, an urgent care clinic will probably do just as well.

    • Fatty Bolger

      If you don’t have friends or family nearby who can give you recommendations, then yeah, just pick somebody close and give them a tryout. I usually look for a practice with multiple PC’s under one roof, but not too many. If you have health issues or a chronic condition, then I’d find out who they are affiliated with, and make sure it’s in the same system as the hospital you prefer and any specialists you are seeing.

      My opinion of a doctor usually ends up being based on their staff, the good ones have excellent employees who tend to stay with them a very long time.

      Oh, and nurses always know who the good doctors are, if you know any you can ask.

    • Tonio

      If you go with an actual medical practice (as opposed to a doc-in-the-box urgent clinic as RC suggests) call them and ask if they are accepting new patients under [insert your health plan here]. And be prepared for them to take a while to get back to you.

    • Aus

      That’s basically what I did. I have no referral or anything to start. So, looked at in-network PCPs, then called them and basically said I was looking for a doctor.

      I got really lucky and really liked the doc that was accepting new patients. There are a handful of docs in the same office.

      Didn’t really “need” a doc, but my insurance covers a annual visit, and I didn’t want to see that go to waste. I knew it was important to find someone I like that I could see year after year and develop a good relationship. It’s been working great.

  12. tarran

    I’ve been thinking about this matter of a substantial percentage of polled people disclosing that they paid no attention to the COVID daily briefing.

    Speaking for myself, I paid no attention whatsoever to the briefings and I think unconsciously it was because I concluded that I wasn’t going to learn anything from them.

    It’s basically three levels of deception.

    1) The public servants, where they are not wrong, are prone to lie, or play loose with the truth in an attempt to manipulate the general public, the news media, the legislature, or their bosses in the executive into doing what the servants want them to do.

    2) The politicians say whatever they want – true or false – in an attempt to manipulate the general public, the news media, other politicians into doing what the the politicians want them to do

    3) The news media lies outright about what was said in the briefings in an attempt to manipulate the general public, the news media, other politicians into doing what the the journalists want them to do.

    Those briefings were guaranteed to be utterly worthless exercises. There is no way to figure out which assertions are fact-needles in a haystack of lies. I think I’m not alone in thinking that way.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s all bullshit.

      Biden has been a bullshitter for decades. Most people are only noticing now because his dementia is handicapping his skillset in that regard. Yet most people still don’t see it because they’re willfully blind. They hear what they want to hear. The media, bureaucracy, and pols oblige them.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Second “most” was supposed to be “some”

    • Mad Scientist

      I haven’t watched a single one of them, and I can’t think of any reason why I’d want to.

      • CPRM

        I watched them for audio clips.

      • JD is Unemployed

        I’m looking forward to that.

    • Suthenboy

      You are not alone and you are exactly right. I haven’t watched a single one of them. I saw an excerpt from one where Trump tore into one of the chimps sent there to try and trip him up but that was by accident.

      • invisible finger

        The only reason to watch them was to see the open hostility of the reporters get countered with hostility. The reporters were confronted with Game Theory strategy every single time and they never figured it out.

    • Chipwooder

      Honestly? I don’t pay any attention to any of Trump’s blathering. Never look at his Twitter rants, don’t watch those WuFlu briefing, none of it.

      • Mad Scientist

        Exactly this. And I’m not picking Trump to discriminate against. A briefing or interview or statement by any politician is bound to contain almost zero information.

      • kbolino

        Given his propensity to say one thing and do another, in addition to his general tendency toward shitposting and trolling, I’m pretty sure you gain nothing by following his words closely.

      • The Other Kevin

        And yet so many on the left hang on his every word.

    • kbolino

      So, what you’re saying is, we’ve reconstructed the Ancien Régime with the estates wearing slightly different guises, and just like before what might actually be important is utterly irrelevant.

  13. R C Dean

    Today has been much better than yesterday.

    Its not over yet.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The president and some aides have had simmering frustrations with Parscale for a while, believing the campaign manager — a close Kushner ally — has enriched himself from his association with Trump and sought personal publicity. Trump had previously been angered when Parscale was the subject of magazine profiles.

    The Atlantic talked about Parscale as if he’s some sort of indestructible Rasputin/Merlin-the-Magician hybrid who will mesmerize the yokels into zombie Trump voters.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Those briefings were guaranteed to be utterly worthless exercises. There is no way to figure out which assertions are fact-needles in a haystack of lies. I think I’m not alone in thinking that way.

    By my estimate, the likelihood of “learning” anything from a politician’s press conference is nil. Other than, perhaps, “I have ordered our troops to invade _____istan.”

  16. Chipwooder

    Jeez, you’d think a Houston station would have someone who would be able to correctly identify this.

    • Unreconstructed

      Looks like it got taken down.

    • Ted S.

      “This tweet is unavailable.”

  17. The Late P Brooks

    If Trump wants to win, he’s going to have to fire that idiot medical bureaucrat Fauci soon.

    Maybe somebody will provide Trump a jandy list of Fauci’s prognosticative errors.

    • grrizzly

      This one?

      Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and President Donald Trump’s top adviser on matters related to the coronavirus, said in a January interview that the virus was “not a major threat” to the U.S.

      “Bottom line. We don’t have to worry about this one, right?” Newsmax anchor Greg Kelly asked Fauci on January 21.

      “Obviously, you need to take it seriously, and do the kinds of things that the CDC and the Department of Homeland Security are doing, ” Fauci responded. “But, this not a major threat for the people of the United States, and this is not something that the citizens of the United States right now should be worried about.”

      • Tonio

        “Department of Homeland Security”

        Um, wut?

    • invisible finger

      Trump is smart enough to just marginalize Fauci rather than dump him. Fauci isn’t going to quit his cushy job. Birx has more virology experience and understands chain of command. Fauci is a researcher bureaucrat with no practical experience. It never got any media play but there was a press conference last week where Birx destroyed Fauci by pointing out two or three state public health websites that were giving more thorough information and implied that the info Fauci put out for public consumption paled in comparison.

      • Tonio

        Can you share a linky to that if you have it?

    • grrizzly

      Or this one?

      February 17: Top disease official: Risk of coronavirus in USA is ‘minuscule’; skip mask and wash hands

      The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention will be testing for the coronavirus in people in five major cities who show up at clinics with flu-like symptoms but who test negative for the seasonal varieties.

      If that testing shows the virus has slipped into the country in places federal officials don’t know about, “we’ve got a problem,” Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told USA TODAY’s Editorial Board Monday.

      Short of that, Fauci says skip the masks unless you are contagious, don’t worry about catching anything from Chinese products and certainly don’t avoid Chinese people or restaurants.

      “Whenever you have the threat of a transmissible infection, there are varying degrees from understandable to outlandish extrapolations of fear,” Fauci said.

      • Raven Nation

        “has slipped into the country in places federal officials don’t know about”

        Isn’t that his “out” clause?

      • grrizzly

        Indubitably.

  18. DEG

    Michigan update

    The Michigan House has decided to not extended Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s request to extend the state of emergency for 28 more days Thursday.

    The House of Representatives also passed a resolution authorizing the Speaker of the House to commence legal action on behalf of the House, challenging the governor’s authority and actions during the coronavirus pandemic. Governor Whitmer cannot veto the resolution.

    Hundreds of people showed up outside of the State Capitol to protest Gov. Whitmer’s efforts to extend the state of emergency. They stood outside for a couple of hours before moving inside of the Capitol building chanting “let us in.”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Sorry Ted, Paul hasn’t been relevant since Wings and then only just barely.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Nice

    • Suthenboy

      I understand some of the protesters were carrying rifles? Yeah, that tends to get people’s attention.
      Whitmer is a complete idiot. She really is playing with fire, and she isn’t the only one. I think it has been too long since their ilk was dragged out into the street and hanged from a lamp post. They don’t believe it is a real thing that can happen to them.

      • DEG

        Based on the pictures and videos I’ve seen so far, no protestors with rifles were inside the building. Protestors with rifles were outside the building.

        So far, from all the pictures and videos of protests around the country that I’ve seen plus attending the NH rally, I’ve seen protestors with rifles at protestors in New Hampshire, Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Washington state, and either Kansas or Nebraska (can’t remember which but I think Kansas).

      • Sean

        I think I saw one slung rifle, but it may have been a muzzle loader.

      • DEG

        At which protest?

        I watched a livestream of the PA protest. I saw guys walking through the crowd with ARs.

      • Sean

        Michigan, today inside the statehouse.

      • DEG

        I’ve seen new pictures. That Daily Fail article below delivers.

        Earlier I was watching the live broadcast from inside the State House. I didn’t see anyone with rifles inside. The camera man probably just didn’t zoom on them or panned too quickly over them.

      • Suthenboy

        Inside….outside….

        If a bunch of pissed off people showed up in my yard with rifles I would be very concerned. I would certainly take stock in why they are pissed off.
        Whitmer seems to have no idea what is going on much like those shitbirds in Virginia.

      • DEG

        Whitmer probably thinks both the police and the National Guard will save her.

        She’s right about the cops. I’m not sure about the National Guard.

      • The Hyperbole

        This guy appears to be inside and armed, and to have made poor life choices somewhere along the way.

      • DEG

        Huh. That picture wasn’t in the coverage I saw earlier. It is in Count Potato’s link below.

      • Tres Cool

        Well, with barber shops closed, you cant fault him entirely for the haircut.

      • The Hyperbole

        The mohawk needs to be bigger, so closed barbers shops is no defense.

      • Tres Cool

        Maybe he only had 1 guard size?

    • DEG

      Despite the ink and RealDolls, I like this gallery.

      #13, #31, #33, #35 are tops.

  19. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “”I am not f*cking losing to Joe Biden!””

    I was confident that was the case up until this covid nonsense. Rightly or wrongly, the guy at the top often receives the blame even when there’s not much he could do and the only thing that can save him is the perception that he did an outstanding job with the cards he was dealt which Trump has not done (although I don’t think he has done a particularly bad job either). If the economy recovers in a healthy manner he still stands a good chance, if not get ready for President Biden to be followed soon after by whoever his running mate is (assuming they let him get the nomination of course).

    • Agent Cooper

      Original death estimate: 2 million.
      Expected death tally: 75k.

      How is that not ‘successful.’ ?

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Let my people go!

    A little while ago, I drove by the Dairy Queen, and they had some dopey plague related message on their electronic sign. And I thought to myself, “That sign should say LET MY PEOPLE GO.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      We care about about your health, now be sure to wash down that bacon double cheeseburger with a nice chocolate milkshake.

    • Drake

      I drove to Bottleking – they had a sign that said they are only open for online orders with curbside pick-up. I thought “the sign should just say ‘go to Shoprite Liquor'” because that is what I did.

      • Tonio

        Virginia has only government liquor stores. ABC — take it or leave it.

      • Drake

        I’ll leave it. VA is no longer on the “escape to” list.

  21. kinnath

    The presidential election will be between Trump and the Democratic Governors. The actual presidential nominee for the Dems will probably not be that relevant.

    • Q Continuum

      “The actual presidential nominee for the Dems will probably not be that relevant.”

      Senile Joe better hope so.

    • R C Dean

      The presidential election will be between Trump and the Democratic Governors.

      Unless the Repub governors start distinguishing themselves from the Dems a lot more than they have, any party-line distinctions on the lockdown are going to be irrelevant.

      • AlmightyJB

        Agreed

      • kinnath

        Unless the Repub governors start distinguishing themselves from the Dems . . .

        That is my guess.

        What is certain is the guvs for the big blue states are going to spend the rest of the year fighting with Trump over bailouts.

      • Drake

        NJ Gov went groveling for money today. Trump tossed in the “no sanctuary cities” poison pill.

  22. Mojeaux

    TFW a chain repair place tells you you need an entire new front end with all the bells and whistles and it’ll be $1500 and your Guy™ tells you you need a ball joint and alignment, and it’ll be <$350.

    I love my Guy™.

    • AlmightyJB

      Yeah, those guys are tough to find.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I miss having somebody like that. I don’t trust any of the sleazy fuckers around here.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Are we talking about cars or plastic surgery?

      • Don Escaped Sarcasm

        I laughed

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Loading…

    Hillary Clinton continues to hover in the wings, ready to step forward should Joe Biden fail.

    Don’t look now, but Joe is failing. Not only has his campaign been rocked by sexual assault allegations from one-time staffer Tara Reade, but the public is beginning to give up on the former vice president. A new Emerson College poll showed 57 percent of likely voters think President Trump will win reelection in November.

    Remember, Establishment Democrats put forward Uncle Joe because he was the “safe” candidate, bound to defeat Trump. Oops.

    That’s not the only problem that crops up in the Emerson Poll. It also shows Trump supporters 19 points more enthusiastic about their candidate than Biden supporters. That “enthusiasm gap” will drive turnout this fall. With Democrats dependent on young people and minorities, both typically less reliable voters, that lack of excitement for the candidate could be a big problem.——-As the primaries roll forward, and especially with officials’ thumbs on the scales, Biden will almost certainly win the candidacy. In the absence of a brokered convention, how could Democrats replace their standard-bearer?

    One idea has been to convince Biden to step aside in favor of the very popular Michelle Obama, seen as a sure bet to beat Trump. So far, though, the former first lady has reportedly rebuffed all invitations to enter the fray.

    That leaves Hillary Clinton. Biden could choose Clinton as his running mate, and then step down before the election and allow Hillary to run in his place.

    Clinton is the only VP candidate who would be able to pull off such a last-minute switch. She has the team, the resources and the experience to be the nominee; Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), former Georgia state Rep. Stacey Abrams and Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) do not.

    Clinton is ready and eager. She is desperate to avenge her 2016 loss (which she still blames on Putin) and has pumped up her public profile to keep herself in consideration. In past months she has conducted endless interviews, promoted the uber-flattering four-part Hulu film about herself, made headlines by attacking Bernie Sanders and Mark Zuckerberg, and fired unending broadsides against President Trump.

    Popcorn!

    • AlmightyJB

      No one else available huh? Lol.

      • Fatty Bolger

        LOL. Weren’t there something like 30 Dems running? Where’s that huge collage of candidates with the pictures crossed out?

      • Suthenboy

        Yes, but each one was a stinkier turd than the next. They were all the worst in their own special way.

      • DrOtto

        It really was impressive in a way.

    • Mojeaux

      She is desperate

      The stench of desperation is unattractive.

    • Q Continuum

      “rocked by sexual assault allegations from one-time staffer Tara Reade”

      The Hill saying this confirms that the Jackasses are actively planning to toss him on an ice flow.

      • hayeksplosives

        “Joe Biden is Joe Biden.”

        How does the MSM give that harridan a free pass without follow up questions?

        Boys will be boys, I guess…

      • Tulip

        When exactly was he good for women? I remember Anita Hill.

      • Mojeaux

        Tulip, I don’t remember much about Anita Hill even though I watched damn near the entire thing. What are your thoughts on her and Thomas? (Not trying to be combative; I’m genuinely curious.)

      • Tulip

        I think it’s another he said, she said, and he was a duck to work for, but I like bringing it up because I want to hold the left to their own standards. So, how can he be good for women?

      • Mojeaux

        I thought that was your point, but didn’t want to assume.

        Thank you.

      • R C Dean

        It also shows Trump supporters 19 points more enthusiastic about their candidate than Biden supporters. That “enthusiasm gap” will drive turnout this fall.

        And Hillary is the candidate to solve that problem?

        Sure.

        On Pelosi:

        She says in her defense of Biden:

        There was never any record.

        Uhh, we don’t know that, because Gropey Joe’s Senate records are locked up by the University of Delaware, and he has refused to release them.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, but since we’re going 100% paper ballots, mailed to some address in Broward County, FL, not sure if it will matter.

        Anyone who doesn’t want 100% paper ballots, wants people do die!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yep, they’re not going to say something like that without getting the OK first.

  24. AlmightyJB

    I love her little dances. Boing:)

    • Suthenboy

      I love the looks on the faces of her competitors. No wonder she wins….she really gets in their heads with that and she knows it.

  25. hayeksplosives

    Mark Steyn commenting on Flynn and the use of FBI deep state.

    …there was never any good-faith basis for the FBI’s investigation, only (in the now released words of Assistant Counterintelligence Division Director Bill Priestap) the object “to get him to lie, so we can prosecute him or get him fired”.

    I heard Kellyanne Conway being asked this morning about whether Trump should now pardon Flynn. No. It is for the court, as an act of judicial hygiene, to accept Flynn’s withdrawal of his enforced guilty plea (made under threats by the feds to destroy the lives of various family members, too), quash the conviction as a miscarriage of justice, and invite the defense to lay before His Honor a wrongful prosecution suit.

    If it requires a presidential pardon to bring garbage like this to an end, then we are all in trouble. Because if the Deep Staters can do it to Flynn, they can do it to anyone.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s right about that, it should be pursued through the courts so all of the bad actors can be placed under oath. If they can do this to Flynn so blatantly and with impunity what can they do to us?

    • Hyperion

      Good. I’m proud of those guys, they’re the guys we need right now.

    • DEG

      The live coverage I saw around 1 PM or so said that both the Senate and the House had gone into recess before the protestors got in the building. The guy at the scene said that the Senate President/Speaker could call either back into session and it would take some time as many of the legislators had left the building.

      I’m going to guess, that since the coverage I had seen up until that point of the afternoon said nothing about the refusal to extend the shutdown order or the resolution to authorize legal action, the legislature came back from recess in the afternoon to take care of those two bits of work.

      • Hyperion

        When you say ‘take care of’, do you mean take care of extending the shutdown or refusing to extend the shutdown?

      • DEG

        Refusing to extend the shutdown.

      • Hyperion

        Oh good. I thought maybe they wanted to join her fuhrer in the political dustbin.

      • DEG

        No.

        The Michigan legislature called themselves back into session specifically to reign her in.

    • Sean

      Oh, they were armed in state house. Good showing, Michigan. ?

      The coverage I saw earlier wasn’t as good.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Any of the other ex-Devil Dogs on here irritated by the cop with the High and Tight haircut? When I was in (mid ’80s) even us air wingers would get pissed when we saw any non-Marine with that hair cut. We thought there was only one way to rate that hair cut and it was to go through boot camp.

      The cops weren’t big into the Oakleys and shaved heads back then, so maybe things have changed?

      To me that just looks like another cop trying to pretend that he is in the military.

      • Chipwooder

        I last had a real high and tight back at MCT. I was a medium-reg man.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The last high and tight I got was when I was promoted to Lance Coolie. I did it as a goof so I could look extra bad ass on my military ID.

        All the rest of the time I was a medium-reg dude as well. (you had to be in the Wing)

      • Ozymandias

        I always wore it high and tight – and yes, I was in the wing, too. Just worked better for my melon; it was also easier to do because I cut my own hair for decades.

        When I see cops doing it, I’m not offended by it. Usually means (IME) that it’s a former Marine who is now a cop. If I find out he isn’t, then my radar is on high alert. usually means it’s a tacticool guy with a bad case of black gear/black velcro disease.

    • DEG

      Remember the protests over Wisconsin changing state employee’s bargaining rights a while back where the protestors got into the Wisconsin state house?

      I’ll go out on a limb here and say the new coverage of these protests in Michigan will be no where near as nice and favorable to the Michigan protestors as it was for the Wisconsin protests.

  26. Hyperion

    It might just be me, but I’m starting to be nearly 100% certain that The Atlantic is owned and operated by the CCP.

    • Bill Door

      That is a bold assertion, and, as I stated previously, in a simpler time that might have been crazy. But things have changed.

      I think you are correct.

    • Suthenboy

      “Rutgers professor…”

      I stopped reading there.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Hispanics, excuse me Latinx, are twice the percentage of confirmed cases here vs percentage of general population. But it’s because of racism.

    • bacon-magic

      That’s because you’re RACISTSSSSSS! – prog

    • Jarflax

      The disease is concentrated in cities Black people are disproportionately urban. The disease hits people with obesity and diabetes disproportionately, Black people are over represented in those populations.

      • Count Potato

        “The disease is concentrated in cities Black people are disproportionately urban.”

        That makes sense.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, population concentration and preexisting conditions probably explain most of it.

      • Hyperion

        Just imagine, if the econazis would push through their master plan what was it they called back in the Obama days… Agenda 21? The one were they corral all of the sheeples into super high density metro areas and most of the planet is strictly off limits. It would only take a couple of these pandemics to get their dream of a sustainable 500 million global population.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        We might not need to imagine, President Clinton will be only too happy to enact that agenda.

      • Hyperion

        Hillary is just Biden in a pantsuit, so no difference there.

      • DrOtto

        That and she wouldn’t fingerbang… never mind.

    • Suthenboy

      Arent those frontline heroes doctors and nurses? Y’know, people who already have their degrees?

      So she is promising nothing. Ok then.

    • Hyperion

      The heroes are the guys in that link above, the ones with the rifles.

    • Hyperion

      “Free college for essential workers. Fuck the rest of y’all.”

      The people whose taxes are going to to pay for that are not at work.

    • OBE #Learn2Essential

      Me thinks they finally found their tipping point in getting a massive amount of the populace onboard with government cheese.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m afraid so.

      • OBE #Learn2Essential

        I think the one thing that is bothering me the most through this whole hysteria and stay-at-home or shelter/cower-in-place nonsense is the acceptance of the “essential vs. non-essential” moniker given by the government to people. I thought we were really divided as much as possible, but this one takes it to the bank, literally.

        I couldn’t image how I would feel if I fought all my working life to build something for myself and my family to provide a roof over their heads, food in their bellies and entertainment/sports/etc for them to enjoy only for one person to swipe it all away with no consequence by deeming non-essential.

        Then, to really drive it home, have a governor tell me to stop complaining and become essential by getting an essential job, or another to tell me that because I am non-essential I am basically a super plague carrier and will kill everyone and anyone if I engage in commerce, or watch my savings get depleted only for another governor to freely give away the treasury to the essential.

        What a damn cluster fuck this all is.

      • Suthenboy

        Like this very soon there will be no cheese, government or otherwise.

  27. westernsloper

    Today has been much better than yesterday.
    I’m glad yours was, mine was worse. Much worse.

    “I am not f*cking losing to Joe Biden!” Trump goes off on campaign staff. I would be saying the same thing.
    It was Hillary’s endorsement. Someone smell Grandpas finger.

    • RAHeinlein

      Sorry to hear that – yesterday didn’t sound good. I actually thought of you this morning because Sam’s had the floaty’s out (sadly nothing interesting). I hope the best for you.

      • westernsloper

        Thanks. And now you have me wondering what the hell I said yesterday. I ordered the summer pool yesterday. Should be here middle of the week. I had to throw away the pizza float.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You’re a sick fuck.

      • westernsloper

        You know you were thinking it.

    • totally_not_an_escaped_ai

      I

  28. The Late P Brooks

    How too, too utterly

    Fort Collins Deputy City Manager Jeff Mihelich will leave Fort Collins to become city manager in Bozeman, Montana, a city of about 50,000.

    His last day will be May 21.

    “Leaving Fort Collins is certainly bittersweet,” said Mihelich, who was named deputy city manager five years ago.

    “I’ve enjoyed working with my staff colleagues and community stakeholders as we’ve addressed so many wicked problems such as growth, climate change, and homelessness. I’m excited for my new opportunity in Bozeman and look forward to working with community leaders in that beautiful city.”

    Mihelich has been the city’s point man on issues around homeless services, affordable housing and climate change. City Manager Darin Atteberry said Jackie Kozak Thiel, the city’s chief sustainability officer, will oversee the homeless services work, and Lindsay Ex, the city’s climate program manger, will become interim affordable housing manager.

    I’m sure he’ll get those provincial Bozemanoids whipped into shape in no time. Those boneheads have been yammering about affordable housing and underserved holelss people since forever. And by all means, get cracking on your climate change agenda. Just be sure those lowly stakeholders know who’s boss.

    Good luck ramming your social justice wish list through, with the city’s budget in shambles and the economy in the shitter. Not even Bozeman is going to escape the damage from appeasing the Plague Gods.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Bozeman needs to be more like Boulder; that’s what everybody I know says.

  30. B.P.

    Whelp, the mayor of my city says that, next week, he will probably announce a mask requirement for anyone outside the home. Fuck that shit.

    Also, what’s up with announcing an announcement?

  31. Pope Jimbo

    Not sure if Tundra or one of the other Minnesoda Glibs reported this amazing factoid about CV here yet, but I was stunned when I saw this.

    As usual, Malcolm stated, over half of the new decedents were residents of “long-term care facilities.”

    Tom Hauser of KSTP TV News was afforded the last question that Malcolm took in the briefing. You say “more than half,” Tom asked, how many was it? Malcolm responded that 16 of the 18 new decedents were residents of long-term care facilities.

    If 249 of 319 total decedents to date were residents of “long-term care facilities,” Tom wondered, what share of the total decedents either died in nursing homes or otherwise had significant underlying conditions? MDH Infectious Disease Director Kris Ehresmann, also on the call, had the number ready at hand: 99.24 percent<.

    Uffda. By my reckoning, that means that only 2 deaths (of the 319) were people who were not in a nursing home and had no significant underlying conditions.

    I fully expect that the local paper will cover for our Gov by writing a Page 1 sob story about one of those two healthy people not in a home who died. The headline will be “Ole’s death from CV shows how anyone can die from this pandemic”.

    I’m absolutely positive no one will write a story about the lying sacks of shit at the Dept of Health and how they are trying to weasel their way out of being blamed for fucking up big time. It starts with them saying “more than half” when the actual number is 16 of 18. More than half is a deliberate evasion.

    Fuck I’m pissed.

    • R C Dean

      It starts with them saying “more than half” when the actual number is 16 of 18.

      The Hyperbole, to the white courtesy phone, please.

    • AlmightyJB

      As well you should. I don’t even know how to deal with the seething rage I have over this. I’m more pissed at the people cheering these fks on. I expect it from the government.

      • Hyperion

        Well, I mean we are a tiny minority here, with the media reporting that 97% of people in the USA support staying locked down indefinitely.

      • Hyperion

        Honestly, as much as I hate the state governments for this and the Karens and other cheerleaders, I hate the media 100x more than all those groups combined.

      • Jarflax

        We’re gonna need a lot more lampposts.

      • Hyperion

        Gotta rebuild the economy somehow. Fire up the lamppost factories, jobs for everyone $15 an hour!

      • AlmightyJB

        I’ll contribute to that Kickstarter

      • Pope Jimbo

        If they were solar powered, could we get them built using Green New Deal slush funds?

      • Jarflax

        I think we should work on making them pendulum powered.

      • Hyperion

        The first perpetual motion machine will be invented by combining lampposts and woodchippers.

        Then it won’t matter that fusion is always just 20 years away.

      • R C Dean

        Did somebody say “seething rage“?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Look. I can’t play with you guys anymore if you are going to keep driving my blood pressure up to the point where it just spurts out my nose.

        I’m really hoping someone runs against that sheriff and wins. If I was running, one of my promises would be that I would televise the firing of all the deputies who enforced bullshit crap like this.

      • Ted S.

        BTW, I’m glad you enjoyed “The Vanishing”.

      • AlmightyJB

        Thanks!

    • Mad Scientist

      I wouldn’t trust the veracity of the 2 deaths with no underlying conditions either. We keep hearing stories about incidents like a guy falling off his roof, testing positive post-mortem, and the docs being pressured into chalking the death up to the virus instead of the broken neck.

      • Hyperion

        My wife was just telling me today that in Brazil they’ve just caught government agencies padding the numbers with cases that were not related to Covid and even faking deaths entirely and to add to the death count.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I keep expecting some enterprising homicide detective to start clearing 100% of their cases (and even a lot of cold cases) by claiming they were CV deaths.

        Win-win. Fear mongers get their pile of dead bodies, crime rates plummet.

    • Fourscore

      Just a little misspoke, that’s all. Everyone makes mistakes. You guys always jump on the slightest thing. Isn’t 16 more than half of 18?

      I am really surprised how many people are worried about me. Maybe I don’t want anyone to worry, why should the governor worry about me? I’m guessing the homeless don’t even get the worry that I get.

      I worry about the governor. Stupid is not a good way to go through life. Retiring when your young troops are on the way to Iraq tells me that MN may not be the home of the brave.

      I don’t think we have to worry about Walz catching too many walleyes on Fishing Opener. He’ll probably fish the Detroit Lakes area.

      • Hyperion

        “Just a little misspoke, that’s all.”

        Are you talking about RC’s comment?

        I’m pretty sure that was sarcasm. If not, I don’t really know what you’re referring to.

      • Ted S.

        I think he’s sarcastically saying Malcolm in the middle “misspoke”.

      • Fourscore

        To Jimbo’s original comment

    • CPRM

      Norfolk Police said its officers wanted to give “words of advice” to the person.

      Take your advice and shove it up your ass bum!

      • Jarflax

        Advice, aim center of mass, once they drop put one in the head.

    • Spudalicious

      “It’s clearly for attention or something like that, because normal people just wouldn’t do that.”

      *face palm*

      • Hyperion

        IOW, the police got no sense of humor.

    • wdalasio

      Although no offences have been committed at this time, officers are keen to trace the individual in order to provide words of advice about the implications of his actions on the local community.

      How damned pathetic do you have to be to bring the police in because you saw a guy in a goofy outfit?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Not as damned pathetic as the police who listen to the whiny rat.

        I would think you would have a pretty good civil rights suit against the cops. It would be one thing if you ran across the guy while out on patrol and had a conversation with him.

        But for cops to admit that they are actively looking for someone who hasn’t committed any crime? That sounds real bad legally to me.

        What am I saying? Of course it won’t matter to the cops. Even if some deranged judge rules against them, the tax cattle will pay out.

      • R C Dean

        Well, its England, so they don’t have any rights.

      • Lackadaisical

        Correct, but if you haven’t noticed, we don’t have too many more here either.

      • Fourscore

        All murders and robberies have been solved…

      • OBE #Learn2Essential

        Karens, its always Karens. They are the latest NPC model it seems that has adapted slightly and replicated further than anticipated.

    • Count Potato

      That photo is awful.

  32. Shpip

    You can never hit peak Florida Ma…

    See, if Governor DeSantis hadn’t shut down all the county fairs and carnivals, this guy would still have been a productive citizen.

    • Ted S.

      What about Florida Pa?

      (Needs more tattoos.)

    • R C Dean

      That’s one dude who will never

      (a) be picked out of a lineup for a crime he didn’t do, or

      (b) be missed in a lineup for a crime he done did.

      • Hyperion

        And

        (c) never be employed

      • B.P.

        I do some traveling to prisons for my work. Last fall I was in one, and I had a chat with a couple of guys who, based on good behavior, were selected for a special program that seeks to get them right and make them productive citizens. Both guys acknowledged their errors, seemed earnest about getting it together, discussed their desire to make a living and give back, etc. It was reasonably inspiring, but all I could think was, “Dude, you have an outline of the state of Illinois and the Chicago Bulls logo tattooed on both sides of your face.” I suppose there are some industries out there that let that slide for a good employee.

      • The Hyperbole

        The world needs ditch diggers, mason tenders, hitmen, and many other respectable trades.

      • Hyperion

        Well. I’m all for a person getting a 2nd chance. I mean unless they murdered people.

        But if that dude is serious about joining civilized society, he’ll get the tatts off his face sooner than later. There’s no damn way he’s getting hired for any type professional job. I mean it’s one thing to have a purple and pink mohawk and nose rings, but that shit just screams ‘I’m a psychopath and I’m gonna murder you in your sleep as soon as I get the chance’.

    • Agent Cooper

      Is that a Chanel tattoo in between his eyebrows?

  33. The Late P Brooks

    I fully expect that the local paper will cover for our Gov by writing a Page 1 sob story about one of those two healthy people not in a home who died. The headline will be “Ole’s death from CV shows how anyone can die from this pandemic”.

    I have talked to a couple of people who cite some sob story about that “young person” who died, which proves anybody can (and will) get it.

    I don’t even pay attention, but I think half of the ridiculously small number of deaths in Montana were in one nursing home, just down the road from the asshole of nowhere. But everything must be shut down!

    • Hyperion

      The people driving this hysteria are the same exact people who were trying to drive the climate hysteria narrative and failed. I’m sure they think they’ve found their ticket this time.

  34. wdalasio

    …which is why Dem governors and mayors so desperate to extend shutdown as long as possible.

    I think that might have been originally true. Now, I’m not so sure. I think they’ve backed themselves into a corner. Right now, the consequences of the shutdown are sort of hidden from a lot of people. Their life isn’t that different because of the state of the economy than it would otherwise be. They’d still be at home, muddling together as best they can with not much prospect of going back to work. They don’t really have a way of telling what’s “I’m standing in solidarity against the threat of the virus” and what’s “My life has been completely screwed over by the shutdown”. But, I can’t imagine the governors and mayors don’t have a pretty good idea of just how much damage has been done. And they know ending the lockdowns is going to make it apparent. And then the whole course of the conversation can change. And not in a way that is good for the governors and mayors.

    • Hyperion

      I have to agree that they are scared right now. If not for the media having their back, they would have already opened back up. Now I think they are just hunkering down having a conversation with their ‘experts’ and advisors about how they get out of this without severe political damage.

      Then you have the crazies, like Karen Jong un Hitler in MI, who I’m pretty sure her political career is over and she just wants to do a little more damage to spite the plebes before she bites the dust.

      • wdalasio

        Now I think they are just hunkering down having a conversation with their ‘experts’ and advisors about how they get out of this without severe political damage.

        I don’t think there really is, short of faking a Paul-on-the-Road-to-Damascus moment. They moved the goal line from preventing overload on the medical care system to nobody gets sick ever again. I don’t think they can really move it back and declare victory over the virus. People are going to keep getting sick.

        Honestly, I think they’re just stalling and waiting for some sort of miracle to pull their asses out of the fire.

      • Hyperion

        I don’t think they’re getting their miracle. Some states are opening already. Which is why media like The Atlantic and NYTs are shitting their pants. Do you suppose that’s because they’re worried about a bunch of rednecks in GA dying of a virus? It’s because those states will return to normalcy and there won’t be any more problem with Covid than there was with lockdown. In fact, there will be less because it will speed herd immunity.

        So, they’re pretty fucked and they’ll hold on as long as possible, like you said, hoping for something that’s never coming.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        there won’t be any more problem with Covid than there was with lockdown.

        There will be a short term spike, which will be overhyped more than anything in known history.

      • R C Dean

        I’m still betting it goes the way of most coronaviruses in the heat, which will mean any second wave will be very small and shortlived.

        I’m also betting that more than enough Repub governors are as gutless as Ducey, won’t lift their lockdowns, and won’t create a partisan divide that can be capitalized on.

      • wdalasio

        I should have added, then again, the media can BS a lot of people. I’ve discovered just how many with all this.

      • R C Dean

        Karen Jong un Hitler

        A lot of mocknames are just annoying, but that one I like.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Narcissistic martinet sez Respeck Muh AWETHORITAZE!

    Gov. Gavin Newsom on Thursday directed the temporary “hard close” of state and local beaches in Orange County after thousands of Californians flocked to the shoreline there over the weekend in defiance of a statewide stay-at-home order enacted to stem the spread of the coronavirus.

    The news comes after a memo sent Wednesday evening to California police chiefs said the governor would go further, closing all state and local beaches and parks, a plan Newsom appeared to abandon.

    The action marks Newsom’s most symbolic response to the pandemic so far as tensions rise over when and how to reopen the state and allow Californians return to their normal, everyday lives.

    ——-

    The news comes after a memo sent Wednesday evening to California police chiefs said the governor would go further, closing all state and local beaches and parks, a plan Newsom appeared to abandon.

    The action marks Newsom’s most symbolic response to the pandemic so far as tensions rise over when and how to reopen the state and allow Californians return to their normal, everyday lives.

    Go fuck an armadillo, Newsom.

    • Ted S.

      Go fuck a server squirrel, too.

    • Hyperion

      Newsome has no choice. It’s time to send in the tanks. So do it or you’re a pussy, Newsome. Otherwise those beach goers are going to show you up. You gotta show em who’s boss. Tanks, the CCP showed you how.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It was Orange County. I’m sure it gave him some pleasure to fuck over the one coastal county where he probably didn’t win the popular vote.

  36. Count Potato

    “Here’s a mashup of Nancy Pelosi responding to a question about Tara Reade compared to how she handled Christine Blasey Ford.

    You’ll know which ones are which.”

    https://twitter.com/TimRunsHisMouth/status/1255930095463575552

    I get the contrast, but she still sounds like an asshole in both of them.

  37. kinnath

    Slate says WTF?

    Biden Announces That Accused Sex Creep and Sex Creep Enabler Christopher Dodd Will Help Him Pick a Running Mate

    Most directly, it’s public record that a D.C. waitress named Carla Gaviglio accused Dodd and the late Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy of sexually assaulting her at the restaurant where she worked in 1985. According to Gaviglio, Kennedy and Dodd were both drunk in a private room when Kennedy threw her into a seated Dodd’s lap and rubbed his genitals against her until other staffers intervened.

    The gift that keeps on giving.

    • R C Dean

      On Tuesday, for example, the candidate made an online appearance with Hillary Clinton, who was reportedly involved in some of Bill Clinton’s efforts to discredit women who said (truthfully, in at least some cases) that they’d had extramarital affairs with him or suffered unwelcome advances. The subject became an issue during her presidential race—and while that was to some extent because it was raised in bad faith by Donald Trump,

      Man, they had to really struggle to squeeze in a hit on Trump in an article on the Dem’s wide-ranging cast of creeps, pervs, and enablers.

      Love that they led with a pic of Dodd and Weinstein, though.

      Defenses of Biden that have been made by his campaign and by Democratic surrogates have emphasized not just that he denies Reade’s allegations but that he embodies the decency of a person who could never be associated with such acts. That message is undermined by his decision to remind the public of his long association with Dodd,

      Well, his long association with Dodd, and the innumerable videos of him creeping on women and young girls.

    • B.P.

      “Chris my man! We’re putting the band back together! Let’s go get handsy with some dames!”

  38. The Late P Brooks

    You’re not the boss of him

    Big money donors are pressuring Joe Biden to not choose Sen. Elizabeth Warren as his running mate, even while the centrist former vice president tries to appeal to progressive voters.

    Biden and his team, according to people familiar with the matter, have heard from many donors in the business community about who they think would be best to be chosen as his vice presidential nominee.

    Those conversations have recently included attempts to push the campaign away from picking Warren and encouraging the choice of other candidates purportedly on his list, such as Sens. Kamala Harris and Amy Klobuchar, and Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer. Many Biden contributors spoke on the condition of anonymity as these conversations, both with Biden and among his associates, were in private.

    “I think a lot of the donor base, on board and coming, would prefer almost anyone but Elizabeth. I don’t see him choosing her for veep” said a longtime fundraiser for Biden who is regularly in touch with him.

    “She would be horrible. He would lose the election,” said a Wall Street executive who was once backing others running in the Democratic primary and later joined Biden’s donor ranks.

    ——-

    There are some signs, however, that Biden is shrugging off anyone vocalizing discontent with Warren. He is plowing ahead with appeasing progressives who backed her campaign while possibly looking to bring her into the fold. The Washington Post reported that Biden’s team hired two of Warren’s fundraising advisors and channeled some of the Massachusetts senator’s progressive views at a virtual donor event last week.

    “Look, you know Wall Street is – they’re good folks. But guess what they didn’t build America. Ordinary Americans, middle class built America,” Biden said, while noting that he believes the pandemic has shown “the institutional racism, the institutional difficulties that are set out there for ordinary people.”

    Go get ’em, Joe. Give those racist oligarchs whut-fer.

    • Hyperion

      “Big money donors are pressuring Joe Biden to not choose Sen. Elizabeth Warren as his running mate”

      He will and there’s never been any doubt about it.

      • R C Dean

        The whole race is such a fucking train wreck, who knows what they’ll do. Except I’m pretty sure that Biden won’t be the nominee. You can’t head the Presidential ticket and hide in your basement until Election Day, they can’t let him out in public, and they must know that Trump’s team needs a semi-trailer to haul their oppo research file around.

        If I’m the social media companies, I’d be getting very worried about this election. If they stomp pro-Trump/anti-Biden videos and memes, they are playing with fire and betting their immunity from defamation on (a) the Dems winning and (b) not catching federal judges who aren’t Dem-symp plants.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Trump really screwed up my not going after the social media companies harder. They can stomp on his campaign and his supporters now and by the time any challenges wind their way through the courts the election will be over. If they manage to film flam America into a Biden presidency they’ll be off the hook but if they fall short they’re going to catch Hell.

      • Hyperion

        They’re driving the same exact narrative that they were in 2016, that Biden is way ahead in the polls. Of course, it’s complete bullshit. The difference being that they don’t even believe it themselves this time.

        There’s no one the dems can nominate that will do better than Biden. And Biden don’t do as well as Hillary did. There’s just no enthusiasm and the Bernie bros may be even madder than they were in 2016.

        I have no idea what Trump is doing at this point. I would think he would be pushing reopening and rebuilding the economy hard at this point. But he’s still just sort of letting the Fauci and Brix WHO stooges run their useless mouths. I really don’t get it. Maybe he really is just giving the dems and their media more rope, or maybe he just doesn’t have any idea what to do. But I’m pretty sure opening up the economy is a winning proposition and it’s the only one.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Turning it over to the governors for the most part and taking partial credit for their positive achievements and condemning their failures probably isn’t a bad strategy right now.

      • Hyperion

        Well, I think that respecting federalism is the right thing. But I’m more than a little surprised that Trump is not pushing hard for reopening.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      *plucks the zombie presidential candidate story arc out of the trash can*

    • B.P.

      “…Ordinary Americans, middle class built America,””

      And by God we’re going to snuff that entire economic stratum out like a spent cigarette!

      “…while noting that he believes the pandemic has shown “the institutional racism, the institutional difficulties that are set out there for ordinary people.””

      All signs point back to racism. And how am I supposed to continue my racist hate crimes when I’m stuck at home?

      • kinnath

        The economic disaster caused by the government in response to the COVID-19 panic should doom Trump.

        But the dems are going to throw the election away again. Between Joe Grab’em by the Pussy Biden, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7DKYML2MRsNancy Antoinette, and Andrew, my grandmother is more important than you Cuomo, I don’t think the Dems can carry the middle class.

        It will be close instead of a landslide, but I am pretty positive Trump wins again.

      • kinnath

        The link works, but I fucked up the formatting. Oh well, time to step away from the keyboard.

      • Hyperion

        I don’t see how the pandemic hysteria and resulting clusterfuck caused by state government overreactions in any way hurts or helps Trump.

        Trump vs Biden was never going to be a landslide. I would bet on Trump by a slightly larger electoral margin than in 2016.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You are all assuming Joe makes it to the election.

        That doesn’t seem assured to me.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Warren didn’t roll over on Bernie for nothing.

    • OBE #Learn2Essential

      Oh my…I mean, I come stumbling into bed most late nights because I am a night-owl so maybe I should show this article to my wife to correct the sins of my sleep.

      • OBE #Learn2Essential

        basically a covered down blanket.

      • westernsloper

        Two monvet’s?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        A bidet that doesn’t identify as its assigned gender.

      • B.P.

        He was in some great movies. Godfather, MASH, Apocalypse Now, etc.

    • Hyperion

      All men should join me in ‘I know everything is my fault, cause I’m a guy. Now fuck off’. /the end

      • Suthenboy

        Incel confirmed.

      • Hyperion

        I don’t argue with them, you can’t win. I Just say it’s my fault and forget about it. It’s worked for me, always.

  39. Suthenboy

    Reading over the comments here and the links I am convinced y’all don’t really understand a lot of what is going on. Therefore I will recount what a former friend with ten years as a policeman told me in a rare moment of candidness.

    “It took me a little while to figure out what this job really is. It isn’t about the law, it is about making people do as they are told.”

    Any questions?

    • OBE #Learn2Essential

      Well that is obvious when we went from peace officers to police officers as the term we use for our boys/gals in blue.

    • Hyperion

      Sure as long as they are getting a paycheck. It takes working tax payers to get a paycheck.

      Also, during this shitshow, a lot of people who always 100% support law enforcement are starting to think about that some more.

      What happens when state and local areas can’t pay the cops and they’ve bleeding support from the people who supported them without question?

      • Lackadaisical

        Ya’ll are way too optimistic. Jesus.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    This is how men steal our sleep

    I usually sleep pretty well after a pre-dawn tussle.

    What’s the problem?

  41. Fourscore

    20 years ago we had “To fight ’em over there so we wouldn’t have to fight ’em over here”

    Now we have to fight the politicians/bureaucrats over here. How times change. Will we have a chance of winning on our own turf? Home teams have a better winning percentage?

    • commodious spittoon

      Tell them what, we’ll make a deal. We won’t hold them accountable for new Coronavirus deaths, and they promise not to set the cops to beating and arresting people going back to work.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Your “we” doesn’t include the raving majority I’m afraid.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Must have been an 8(a) company.

    • B.P.

      That’s totally how state procurement works.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        More accurate version:

        Guy tweets he has ventilators.

        Panicked NY pol demands that somebody accelerate the standard purchasing process.

        Hilarity ensues.

    • UnCivilServant

      New York never pays anyone promptly. I call fake news.

  42. kinnath

    There are four states and Guam scheduled for primaries in May. Will they happen? What happens if they don’t?

    • dbleagle

      Groping Joe is still short of the required pledged votes for a first ballot nomination. The cancellation of NY primary and the upcoming might be the vehicle the party bosses use to force him out. Vote pledged ballots, sorry Joe you are short, under party rules the 2d round is open balloting. “The nominee is……?”

      I did not develop this theory but have now read it on multiple locations. To use a theme from earlier, “The Moist Hiilary Connection”.

      • kinnath

        There are 13 primaries in June, a couple in July, and one in August.

        New York is the only one that I know has cancelled.

  43. Count Potato

    “Well, I had planned to spend a good chunk of time reading Tara’s old tweets to find ones that seemed to be written in a Russian accent.

    I only made it 2 weeks back before I ran out of space for more examples.

    These are the red flags I found JUST from the last 2 weeks.”

    https://twitter.com/lizburgh/status/1255287529324019712

    I read a book on psychiatry once, so I can tell you with absolute certainty this broad is nuttier than squirrel shit.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      She’s definitely batshit crazy.

  44. westernsloper

    I made fresh pasta today. Also grilled/smoked some Cajun sausage so I am thinking a creamy meaty sauce for said pasta. 1/2 cap Zatarans (Hi Suthen!) and what not.

  45. Not Adahn

    Thanks to whoever linked this. It is delicious.

    Pros: amazeballs. Cons: a bit salty, expensive (especially after shipping) will cause weight gain as you start violating all your dietary discipline in order to cook Tex-Mex food to put it on.

    • westernsloper

      Boston? *shakes head*

    • Sean

      Noted.

    • R C Dean

      Bookmarked.